1 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,126 I come tonight to warn you that you will be 2 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,806 visited by three spirits. 3 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,041 What? 4 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,365 Was that the chance and hope that you mentioned, Jacob? 5 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,766 It was. 6 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:38,209 And you have yet the chance and hope of escaping my fate. 7 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,722 A chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer. 8 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,802 Thank you, Jacob. 9 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:49,091 Expect the first when the bell tolls 1:00. 10 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,160 Shut up, Beth! 11 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,965 I don't care who started it, Max. 12 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,407 Ben Kuklinski started it and everybody knows it. 13 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:56,845 You even have the whole thing on video. 14 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,081 And you're gonna write an apology 15 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,481 to the rest of your class for ruining the recital. 16 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:01,561 What were you thinking, Max? 17 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:03,244 That kid was twice your size. 18 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,051 Yeah, but Ben Kuklinski is always ragging on Christmas. 19 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,207 He even told the first graders 20 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,930 that Santa was just a cheap marketing ploy 21 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,240 invented to sell Pepsi. 22 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,970 Coke. You know what I mean. 23 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,610 But not why you care. 24 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,091 Well, someone's got to. 25 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,164 Here, let me see. Ow, ow, ow, ow. 26 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,083 Eh, it's not so bad. Just keep icing it. 27 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,686 And was dropkicking him into the manger 28 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,603 really the best way to handle this? 29 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,126 Okay, that was not my fault. I was under the influence. 30 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,127 All I had to eat was Christmas fudge and candy canes. 31 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:31,646 Well, I hate to sound harsh, 32 00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:33,529 but every kid has to learn the truth someday. 33 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,404 Oh, I know. I just... 34 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,406 I didn't want it ruined. 35 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,929 For the little kids. 36 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,441 But is this a war on Christmas, 37 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,090 a war on over-political correctness... 38 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,207 Looks great, Mom. 39 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,680 ...or a bunch of people who are just way too easily offended? 40 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,847 Don't work too hard, though. Sarah bought 41 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,882 a bunch of cookies at the store. 42 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,644 It's Roger. 43 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,370 Thought you said you weren't working over Christmas? 44 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:56,891 I said no traveling over Christmas. 45 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,928 I still have to take a few calls. 46 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,365 Hey, Roger, what's up? 47 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,283 Wait, guys, aren't we still gonna watch Charlie Brown 48 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,402 and wrap Christmas presents like always? 49 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,847 You know what? After what you pulled, you can do that alone. 50 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,968 And quick. Your cousins get here any minute. 51 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,246 Yeah, Roger. 52 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,368 It's a Christmas cluster-eff over here. 53 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,283 Beth, help me hang this. 54 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,007 Wait, Mom, aren't we gonna watch Charlie Brown? 55 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,321 I started, 56 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,051 but I don't know what to ask for this year. 57 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,727 Because they are family, Beth. 58 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,165 And it's only for a few days. 59 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,880 Well, I'm not sharing my room with girls who pee standing up. 60 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,002 Last year I found shit in my bed, Mom. 61 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,241 Human shit. 62 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,129 For the last time, that was their dog! 63 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,202 "They're why some people shouldn't be allowed to breed!" 64 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,601 Your words, Mom, not mine! 65 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,648 I never said that! 66 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:01,760 I said maybe they should have to take a test 67 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,120 before they're allowed to breed. 68 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,321 Thanks, Omi. 69 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,084 Omi? Hmm? 70 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,242 Do you still really believe in Santa? 71 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,728 What do you mean? 72 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,201 Yeah. 73 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,402 My cousins are crawling out of the shallow end of the gene pool, 74 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,522 so everyone's a little on edge. 75 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,250 Your mom popping Xanax again? 76 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,129 Like candy. 77 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:33,205 Tonight we're making a Japanese snowflake tree or some crap. 78 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,491 Takes a lot of work to make our family 79 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,364 look more awesome than it actually is, you know? 80 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,680 I like snowflakes, 81 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,161 but I like my plan a lot better. 82 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:46,361 Very enticing, but I think I'm stuck here. 83 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,521 Come on, 84 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,570 people have escaped from Alcatraz before, and I'm only four blocks away. 85 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,288 What? What's wrong? 86 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,444 Everything. 87 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,368 Oh, crap. Oh, crap. 88 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,003 Will you two knock it off? 89 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,491 Howie, stop ringing the doorbell! 90 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,125 - Well, carry something! - Howie, cut it out! 91 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,960 - Help me with the bags. - Dad, you carry it. 92 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,766 It's Christmas. It's Christmas. It's Christmas. 93 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,571 Merry Christmas! 94 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,688 Hey, sis. Merry Christmas. 95 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,001 Oh, gosh, I'm so glad you guys could make it. 96 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,366 You have no idea. 97 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,805 Accidents all over the freeways, 98 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:33,921 and nothing but crazy talk radio 99 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,161 for six hours. Mmm. 100 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,044 Hey. We brought you a little taste of home, though, didn't we? 101 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,011 Oh, wow. 102 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,451 Thank you. It looks... 103 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:41,601 Wow. 104 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,290 - You're welcome. - Come on, Linda, move it, move it. 105 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,124 We don't have to keep the traffic jam going now. 106 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,440 Howard, let me help you. 107 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,406 - It's all right, Tom. - Thanks, Tommy. 108 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,481 Sorry about that. 109 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,324 What, you give the butler the night off, did you? 110 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,680 Tom, don't worry about it. 111 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,728 Yeah, we uh, brought Rosie. 112 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,165 You don't have a cat, do you? 113 00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,771 It's fine. It's fine, right? 114 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:00,887 It's fine. 115 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,644 Merry Christmas, girls. Come on in. 116 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,604 Don't you look cute in your matching jackets. 117 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:06,806 They're just a little cranky 118 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,609 because the Steelers lost, so... 119 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,681 Uh, Jordan, Stevie, 120 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,040 why don't you tell your Aunt Sarah 121 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,726 about your Presidential Fitness Award, huh? 122 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,201 It's a good story. 123 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,846 Hey, Howie. 124 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,450 So, what did you ask Santa for this year? 125 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:25,600 - Really nice. - They did look pretty good. 126 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,244 It looks bigger in here. 127 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:28,526 Toy car? 128 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,489 Look what Max has got in his pocket. 129 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,050 A letter to Santa. 130 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,646 Video games? 131 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:37,841 Phone? 132 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,850 Dialysis? 133 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,527 - That long fucking drive. - Thank you, guys. 134 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,450 Where do you want this stuff, Tom? 135 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,090 - Just anywhere? - Yeah. 136 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:52,448 Christ on a stick, would it kill you to shovel your walk? 137 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,443 I could've broken a hip out there. 138 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,409 Surprise! 139 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,891 Please don't be mad. 140 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,289 Oh, Aunt Dorothy, it's so great to see you. 141 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,045 Yeah, well, your sister's no Mother Teresa, 142 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,646 but at least she swings by 143 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,800 every once in a while to make sure that I'm not dead. 144 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,530 So, where's the nog? 145 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,409 I need to get merry. 146 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:16,760 Uh, It's in the kitchen. 147 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,001 Help yourself. 148 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,162 Oh, Tom, let me take that. I'm sorry. 149 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,287 That's okay. 150 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,805 Lord Almighty. 151 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,360 Looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here. 152 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,648 - We left the door open. Sorry about that. - No. No, no, no. 153 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,882 We're such a mess, honestly. 154 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,531 Six hours, I mean, come on. Uh... 155 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,887 Sorry, wasn't there another... 156 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,521 Mmm? 157 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,366 Child? 158 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,250 Chrissy! Darn it! 159 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,920 Jordan, I told you to bring her inside! 160 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:43,401 Not my kid. 161 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,527 Come on, girls. 162 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,806 Tommy, help me get the baby 163 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,211 and the rest of the girl crap out of the truck. 164 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,441 Do you mind? Thank you. 165 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,601 All right. 166 00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,001 Let's make some memories, huh? 167 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,044 Thank you, honey. Thank you. Oh, my goodness. 168 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,248 A holiday roast is a surprise. 169 00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,731 Hemorrhoids are a surprise. 170 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,565 She is a goddamn nightmare. What were you thinking? 171 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,848 Come on, she's not that bad. Oh. 172 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,081 She's not! 173 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,844 Besides, she tricked me, okay? 174 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,490 I thought we were just dropping off gifts, 175 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,160 and she came to the door with a suitcase. 176 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,811 What was I supposed to do? Tell her she has to spend Christmas by herself? 177 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,848 No, but at least you could have warned me 178 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,571 when one of your mistakes is gonna become my problem. 179 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,529 You think everything I do is a mistake. 180 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,050 Sorry. Look out. Look out. 181 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,321 Hey, honey. Ooh. Oh. 182 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,004 I think this warhead's armed. 183 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,849 Wow, you're so stinky. 184 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,729 Okay, I'm gonna go change her. 185 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:30,801 Let's go this way. 186 00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,201 Just set that up wherever you want, T. 187 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,361 The whole truck smells like shit. 188 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,405 So, what's for dinner? 189 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,564 That's my boy! 190 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:56,971 That's my boy! 191 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,090 It sure is. 192 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,128 I'm getting Howie Junior into game shape. 193 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,651 By the time he gets to high school, 194 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:05,724 he's gonna be the biggest lineman in the state. 195 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,283 Did you ever spend any time on the field, Tommy? 196 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,647 No, actually, I didn't have time in my younger years. 197 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,131 I was in training mostly. 198 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,800 What were you training for? Uh... 199 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,884 Army? Marines? 200 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:19,726 It was the Eagle Scouts. 201 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,486 Eagle Scouts. 202 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,048 Now, Eagle Scouts, kids, 203 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,924 that's where you weave baskets 204 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,445 and help little old ladies across the street. 205 00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,244 Am I right? No, no. 206 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,525 No, no, no. It was actually quite a bit of survival training. 207 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,481 So... 208 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:38,530 Well, the only survival training I need is my ol' smoke pole, 209 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,769 and a big, fat box of buckshot 210 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,569 that I keep out in that truck. 211 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,531 A shepherd has got to protect his flock. 212 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,282 Honey, we said no gun talk at the dinner table. 213 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,244 This family needs a little gun talk, 214 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,402 whether it's at the dinner table, or anywhere else. 215 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,800 - Wow. - You know what I'm saying? 216 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,000 Looks like Chrissy's really enjoying my gravlax. 217 00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,841 Careful, kids. 218 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:01,280 Remember that your Aunt Sarah likes 219 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,526 everything to be clean and perfect, 220 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,206 and that's why she makes so much food that you can't pronounce. 221 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,644 Well, I just thought you guys might like a break 222 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,609 from macaroni and cheese with hot dogs. 223 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,761 Yeah, okay. 224 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,565 Well, you were wrong. 225 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,041 And who doesn't make a ham at Christmas? 226 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,049 What are you now, a Jew? 227 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,043 Maybe it's time for dessert, hmm? 228 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,365 It's delicious, honey. 229 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,680 It's a little dry. 230 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,728 Okay. Well, mine's delicious. 231 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,240 Well, I guess I should've gotten your bird. 232 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,520 You can just say something nice. 233 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,767 I'll say it when she gets back, if dessert's good. 234 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,365 Well, if you could just do me a favor. 235 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,284 - Tell him about Santa. - Just say something nice about dessert. 236 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,283 Hey, Maxi-Pad. 237 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,004 Hear what happened to Santa? 238 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,600 No, Stevie. What happened to Santa? 239 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,290 Heard it on the news. 240 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,362 His sleigh crashed in the Rockies. 241 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,727 Shattered both his legs. 242 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,565 Frostbite took care of his pain, but not his hunger. 243 00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,242 So, to survive, he had to slaughter and eat his reindeer. 244 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,211 Including Rudolph. 245 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:09,285 "Ate" tiny reindeer. Get it? 246 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,330 Knock it off! 247 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,004 Don't start anything. 248 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,565 Hey, guys, take it easy. 249 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,367 They're just playing, Tommy. 250 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,645 Macaroni and cheese and hot dogs. 251 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,848 Oh, Jesus. 252 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,766 So, what kind of godforsaken concoction are you whipping up now? 253 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,447 You know how this fancy food clogs my pipes. 254 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,886 Well, how about we go to your trailer 255 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,291 for Christmas next year, hmm? 256 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,242 And after you've spent weeks decorating and cooking and cleaning, 257 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,084 I might just waddle in and start bitching and moaning 258 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,800 about everything you've worked so hard on. 259 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,166 Oh, Sarah, you know... 260 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:47,964 No, Aunt Dorothy, please. 261 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:49,451 For your sake, 262 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,564 just stay the hell out of my kitchen. 263 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:56,881 You know, reindeer are actually 264 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,889 a sustainable food source 265 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,970 in the Northern Territories and Alaska. Canada. 266 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,690 This time of year 267 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:08,846 we refer to reindeer as a transportation system for Santa Claus. 268 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,930 We know you still believe in the big, fat creeper. 269 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,004 I don't know what you're talking about. 270 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,926 You sure about that? 271 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,125 Max, stop. 272 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,411 "Dear Santa, 273 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,687 "I know I haven't been great this year, and I'm sorry for that, 274 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,489 "but I was really hoping you could help out 275 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,688 "me and my family this Christmas. 276 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,171 "We need you." 277 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,605 Oh, Maxi-Pad, that's so sweet. 278 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,727 Give it back! 279 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,450 Stop, Max. 280 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,761 Blah, blah, blah, bullshit, bullshit. 281 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,808 Ah. Here we go, Maxi's wish list. 282 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,041 Stevie, stop. That's enough. 283 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,804 Wait, you're up first, Beth. 284 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,481 "I wish me and Beth could hang out like we used to. 285 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,484 "You might have noticed that I don't have tons of friends." 286 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,847 Oh, no, really, Max? 287 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,807 "I wish my mom and dad could fall in love again. 288 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,170 "I know they get upset a lot, 289 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,049 "with Dad away from home so much. 290 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,120 "I think they really just miss each other. 291 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,882 "Also, I wish things weren't so hard 292 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,566 "for Uncle Howard and Aunt Linda. 293 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:19,081 "So, maybe you can lend them a hand the rest of the year, too. 294 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,000 "And... 295 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,807 "And that..." 296 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:27,924 Screw you! Dad does not wish we were boys! 297 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,811 Okay. Who wants crème brûlée? 298 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,124 Give me the letter! Give me it back! 299 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,200 Hey, Max. 300 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,447 Hey. 301 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,800 - Hey! - Girls! 302 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:46,521 Hey! Hey! 303 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,010 Come on, Howard. Stevie, Jordan. 304 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,080 Come on. 305 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,645 All right, all right, that's enough. 306 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:52,960 Are you okay? Honey? 307 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,920 I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be, but forget it. 308 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,086 I hate Christmas! 309 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,605 I hate all of you! 310 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,126 Max. Max! 311 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,370 Oh, lay off of him. 312 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,966 Kid deserves a prize just for telling the truth. 313 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,283 - Can I come in? - No. 314 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,126 You know, they're leaving right after Christmas, 315 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,966 so we only have to survive another three days. 316 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,280 I don't get it. 317 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,044 Every year it gets worse. 318 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,966 Why do we have to put up with their crap just because we share DNA? 319 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,241 Because that's what a family is, Max. 320 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,243 People you try to be friends with, 321 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,687 even though you don't have a whole lot in common. 322 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,449 But why? Because... 323 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,211 Well... 324 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,161 Okay, you kind of got me there. 325 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,281 Or maybe it makes us work a little harder 326 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,840 to find what we do have in common, you know? 327 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,602 Put everything aside, think of other people for a change. 328 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,331 Friends, family, 329 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,681 even the assholes you normally can't stand. 330 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,131 Like Uncle Howard? 331 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,850 Didn't wanna name names. 332 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,851 Dad, do you really believe in all that? 333 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,002 I want to, Max. 334 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,889 But, hey, bet there's still time 335 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,526 to drop that letter in the mailbox, huh? 336 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,086 Don't you find it the least bit strange? 337 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,764 I mean, they can see dust specks on Mars, 338 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,684 but no one noticed a giant blizzard hurtling towards us. 339 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,569 Well, as soon as the power's back, 340 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,085 you can write an angry e-mail 341 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,605 to the National Weather Service. 342 00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,967 But in the meantime, let's just try and stay calm. 343 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,565 Mom, there's something weird outside. 344 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:42,766 I am calm. 345 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,966 I would just be calmer if I knew 346 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,087 how we were gonna survive Christmas 347 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,446 with 12 people stuck in a house 348 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,763 with no hot water, no heat, and no electricity. 349 00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:50,921 Or food. 350 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,571 Well, there's plenty of leftovers, Howard. 351 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,845 Beer it is. 352 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,251 Phone's dead, too. 353 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,680 Mom! What, Max? 354 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,842 There's a snowman in our yard. 355 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,285 See? 356 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,251 That's... That's great, Max. 357 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,606 But who built it? 358 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,761 You can barely see across the street, 359 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,208 but it doesn't look like it's just us. 360 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,930 I can walk over, check with the Turners. 361 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,650 The Turners are in Hawaii. 362 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,131 The Lamberts are in Florida, 363 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,486 and the Cartwrights stopped talking to us 364 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,801 after Max's noodle incident. 365 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,120 After his what? 366 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,964 Max, please go and get Omi out of the fireplace 367 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,042 before she burns the whole house down. 368 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,131 I'll get it! 369 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,964 Fine. 370 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,724 Seriously, what are we gonna do? 371 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,041 Merry Christmas. Whoa! 372 00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:41,487 Sign here. Yeah. 373 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,561 Wow. 374 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,686 Honey, stuff to carry. 375 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:46,966 Some weather, huh? 376 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,929 Yeah, it's a ghost town out there. 377 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,161 Roads are a nightmare. 378 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:51,287 Yeah, no kidding. 379 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,404 Hey, these, too? 380 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,521 Uh, not mine. 381 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,041 - Uh, must be from the boys in brown. - All right. 382 00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,168 Merry Christmas. Yeah, you, too. 383 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,766 What is it? 384 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,245 Hey, look at this, huh? 385 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,560 What? 386 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,130 They got more stuff. 387 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,163 Man, how come rich people get all the free shit? 388 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,288 I don't know, honey. Democrats, probably. 389 00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,290 Oh, my God! 390 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,767 - Argh! - Who needs this much cheese? 391 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,521 It's one singular moment. 392 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,284 You guys, I've texted Derek, like, nine times, 393 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:22,970 and he still hasn't written back. 394 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,530 That is not normal. 395 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,841 It's the blizzard, honey. Nothing's working right now. 396 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:28,490 Then can I walk over and check on him? 397 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:30,206 It's only a few blocks. 398 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,647 I don't think that's a good idea. 399 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,649 Well, I could see if anyone else has power on the way. 400 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,604 She'll be fine. 401 00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,523 Okay. One hour. 402 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,170 But when you get back, I want you to spend 403 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,720 some girl time with Jordan and Stevie. 404 00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,046 Got it? 405 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,202 You call that a reversal? 406 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,328 Come on, Jordy, plant your feet! 407 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,441 Plant your feet. 408 00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:50,640 All right. Here we go. Right. 409 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:52,603 Again. You know what I mean. 410 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:53,681 Thanks. 411 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,205 Be careful, okay? 412 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,406 Okay. Back later. 413 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,046 Love you. One hour. 414 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,451 Okay. 415 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,611 Max, I told you to get Omi out of the... 416 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,642 She says hot chocolate makes everything better. 417 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,685 Oh, my God. 418 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:50,681 Please! 419 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,083 Somebody help me! 420 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:00,931 Please! 421 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:28,921 Get anything? 422 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,086 No. 423 00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:34,849 It's the weirdest thing. There's no cars, 424 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,924 no people, not even a salt truck. 425 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,606 Don't suppose you got me 426 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,121 a backup generator for Christmas, did you? 427 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:47,046 Yeah, it's under the tree, next to your ties and underwear. 428 00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:48,406 Good. 429 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,250 It's getting late. 430 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:57,565 Beth should be home by now. 431 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,881 She's fine. She's at Derek's. 432 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,530 All the more reason to worry. 433 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,923 Hey, hon, relax. Just for once. Okay? 434 00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:11,285 How's everybody else doing? 435 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,882 You know, cranky, bored, 436 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:16,769 sick of the snow. 437 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,126 And each other. 438 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:19,361 'Tis the season. 439 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,249 Oh, God, I miss us. 440 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,205 Me, too. 441 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,965 Mom, Dad. 442 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:44,841 It's already dark out and Beth isn't back yet. 443 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,001 Hey, Howard. 444 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,243 Do you think your Hummer could get through this mess? 445 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:56,890 Lucinda? 446 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,849 I could point her due east, hit the gas, 447 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,890 and she'd be storming the beaches at Normandy by sunrise. 448 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,086 What's on your mind, T? 449 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,241 Well, it's Beth. 450 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,765 She went to her boyfriend's earlier 451 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,080 and she hasn't come back yet. 452 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,400 See? 453 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,241 Let them out of your sight for one second, and boom, shotgun wedding. 454 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,527 Aunt Dorothy, please. 455 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,165 Well, you ought to know. 456 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,810 It's probably nothing. 457 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,241 But I thought we'd go pick her up, 458 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,600 take a quick swing around town, 459 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:22,966 see what's going on out there. 460 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,166 A little recon mission, huh? 461 00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:25,971 Thought you'd never ask. 462 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,246 Okay. 463 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:28,885 Go to Mama. Yep. 464 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,086 All righty. 465 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,527 Thomas. Thomas. 466 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:36,484 What? Why? 467 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,080 What the hell is she so riled up about? 468 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,691 She says not to go. 469 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:47,160 That it's too dangerous, and that we should wait until the storm's over. 470 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:48,406 Tom. No, I got this. 471 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,086 Hey, Mom, we have to go pick up Beth, 472 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,243 but Max and Sarah will take care of you while I'm gone. Okay? 473 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,328 Mom. Hey, Mom, listen. 474 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,930 Everything's gonna be okay. 475 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,762 Global warming, my ass. 476 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,760 Must be -20 out here. 477 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,002 This just doesn't make any sense. 478 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,327 You try AM? Yeah, I tried everything. 479 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,607 The storm probably knocked out the radio stations, too. 480 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,130 I guess so. 481 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,482 What I wouldn't give for a little Bing Crosby right about now. 482 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,805 Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. 483 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,450 What is that? 484 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,200 Is that a snowplow? 485 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:17,846 Hello? 486 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,331 Christ. 487 00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,485 Poor bastard must have sailed clear through. 488 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,726 Looks more like the opposite. 489 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,245 What do you mean? 490 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,322 The glass is punched in. 491 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:09,608 We gotta find Beth. 492 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,162 You packed guns on Christmas. 493 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,607 Always be prepared, Boy Scout. 494 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:21,160 It's kind of heavy. 495 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:22,401 Yeah. 496 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,170 It's Linda's. 497 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,280 Oh, my gosh. 498 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,166 You had Mom's angel this whole time? 499 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,163 Yeah, I thought you knew. 500 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,730 No. 501 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:48,841 Oh. 502 00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,847 Remember how we used to fight over who got to place her? 503 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:53,763 Yeah, and you fought dirty. 504 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,201 I think I still have the scars. 505 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,408 Where do you think my girls get it from? 506 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,450 Wow. You saved everything. 507 00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:08,481 Yeah. 508 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,766 I figured that's what Mom would have done, you know. 509 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,240 Mom? 510 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,090 Probably just squirrels. 511 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,489 In this weather? 512 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,646 See? 513 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,805 - Squirrels. - Right. 514 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,802 Probably playing with their nuts. 515 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:26,526 Beth? 516 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,365 Derek! 517 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:39,361 Beth! 518 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,047 Quiet, Tommy. I don't like this. 519 00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,681 Whoever did this is a demented son of a bitch. 520 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,526 Don't worry. We'll find her, buddy. 521 00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:32,565 Looks like a gas line blew. 522 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:44,766 What's that? 523 00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:51,722 I've hunted a lot of game in my day. 524 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:53,810 Those are hooves. 525 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,251 Big ones, too. 526 00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,082 Could be an elk or a goat. 527 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,448 What kind of goat walks on its hind legs? 528 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:08,281 Beth! 529 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,884 - Beth! - Help me! 530 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,410 Beth! 531 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:16,806 Help! 532 00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,651 Beth! 533 00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,330 Beth! 534 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:26,761 Beth! 535 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,205 Tommy! 536 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:29,920 Wait up! 537 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:41,441 Howard! 538 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,086 Oh, my God! 539 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:50,764 Hold on, Howard! 540 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,729 Help! Oh, God! 541 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,007 Tommy! 542 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:00,361 Something's biting me! 543 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,290 Don't let go! 544 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:10,721 Tommy? 545 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,206 Let's go! 546 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:24,645 What was that thing? 547 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,331 I don't know, but we have to move! 548 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,087 Oh, my God. Oh! 549 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,764 Lucinda! 550 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,207 Where do you think you're going? 551 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,691 To find them. I don't like this. 552 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,926 What are you talking about? 553 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,923 Tom and Howard know what they're doing. They're fine. 554 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,202 - Are they? - Mom? 555 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,289 Honey, I'll be right back. I promise. 556 00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,361 Just lock the door. 557 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,411 Max, get the first aid kit! Sarah, lock the door. 558 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,640 Girls! Make some room for your dad! Oh, my God! 559 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,250 Get the door, shut the door! 560 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:06,321 Where's Beth? 561 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:07,401 We heard gunshots! 562 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,811 I'll explain everything, 563 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:11,451 but right now everybody just needs to stay calm and stay inside! 564 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,965 Get away from the windows! 565 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,964 Swords, guns, knives, pots, pans, get whatever you can... 566 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,485 Howard! What? 567 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,484 Not here. 568 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,121 Jiminy Christmas. 569 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:24,202 What happened out there? 570 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,361 Nothing. 571 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,766 It's just a scratch. 572 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,091 Oh, my God. it looks like something bit you! 573 00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,486 Nope. 574 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,847 Probably a bear trap under the snow or something. 575 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,285 We don't have bears here. 576 00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,244 Okay. Um... 577 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,811 Kids, why don't you go into the kitchen 578 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:42,490 and get something to eat now, okay? 579 00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,369 You just don't wanna tell us what's really going on here! 580 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,841 Everybody, in the kitchen right now, Max! Okay? Right now. 581 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,960 Come on, let's go. Girls. Come on. It's okay. 582 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:51,843 Aunt Dorothy, will you keep an eye on them? 583 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,001 Why me? 584 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,560 I never liked kids, even when I was one. 585 00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:58,927 Please. 586 00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,921 Oh, all right. All right! 587 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,765 Come on, guys, I'm gonna teach you 588 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,968 how to make peppermint schnapps. 589 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,803 Mom. 590 00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:16,126 Mom. Will you please go into the kitchen and help with the kids? 591 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,123 Come here, baby. 592 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,366 See? A little sugar and a little spice 593 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,491 makes everything nice. 594 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,081 Mmm. 595 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:51,127 All right. But don't you rat me out. 596 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,403 But who or what did all this? 597 00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,283 Your guess is as good as mine. 598 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,160 First I thought it was a gang thing, 599 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,600 but between this and all the crazy stuff we saw out there, 600 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,205 it just doesn't add up. 601 00:40:08,400 --> 00:40:10,243 It could be terrorists, right? 602 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,446 Yeah, terrorists. 603 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,091 Maybe traded their suicide vests for rabid snow dogs? 604 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:15,810 Tommy! 605 00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,325 Tom, God! Sorry. Sorry. 606 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,450 Um... 607 00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:21,921 And Beth? 608 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,844 Okay. She wasn't at Derek's, but that doesn't mean anything. 609 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,081 She may have found somewhere safe. 610 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:27,241 So, she's still out there. 611 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,169 Yes. And we will find her, I promise. 612 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:31,806 But I had to make sure you guys were safe. I had to get Howard back... 613 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,291 I don't care how long it takes, Tom. 614 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:34,486 We have to keep looking. 615 00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,369 We have to pair up and take turns... Yes. 616 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,522 We can't go back out there! You see this? 617 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:39,840 It's damn near frostbite. 618 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,001 In under four minutes! 619 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:42,241 Honey, keep your voice down. 620 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,129 Besides it being sub-zero out there, 621 00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,407 someone's tearing through your fancy-ass neighborhood 622 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,481 picking everybody off. 623 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:48,800 It's the truth! 624 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:51,042 Honey, sweetheart. Listen, why don't we just leave? 625 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:52,770 Right? We can all pile in the truck 626 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:53,966 and we'll just see as far as we can get, 627 00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:56,088 - and we pick up Beth... - The truck's gone. 628 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:57,366 Torn to pieces. 629 00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:58,601 - What? - What? 630 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,524 Yeah. And even if she wasn't, the streets are totally screwed. 631 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:04,001 We can't go anywhere. It's too dangerous. You got it? 632 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:05,964 Howard, how much ammo do you have? 633 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,727 A couple shells still loaded, maybe a dozen in my pocket. 634 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:11,131 Why? 635 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,329 I think our best bet is to stay put. 636 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,289 Board up all the doors and windows. 637 00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:19,361 And as soon as the weather breaks, we'll go find her. 638 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:20,965 I told you we should've gone to my brother's. 639 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,923 Sure, Howard. Christmas on a pig farm. 640 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:24,280 Jesus was born in a barn! 641 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,441 Knock it off, you guys! 642 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:27,090 What about the kids? What are we gonna tell them? 643 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:28,446 I don't know. The truth? 644 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,284 Sure. Which version of it? 645 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:33,162 Hey, you guys. Oh, God. 646 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:34,890 How much of that did you hear? 647 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,731 Enough. 648 00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,882 Mama, did someone take Beth? 649 00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,007 Are they coming for us? 650 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,606 No. No, babies. No, everything's fine. 651 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,161 Beth's just with her boyfriend, that's all. 652 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,201 And nothing bad's gonna happen on Christmas, right? 653 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,011 You know what, let's have a campout, okay? We'll watch a movie. Yeah? 654 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,366 Let's get cozy on the couch. 655 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,487 Go get your sister, Stevie. 656 00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:55,085 Come on, baby. Come on. 657 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,850 We'll find her, I promise. 658 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,764 "And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them. 659 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,606 "And the glory of the Lord shone round about them. 660 00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,603 "And they were so afraid. 661 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,682 "And the angel said unto them, 662 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,451 "'Fear not. For behold, I bring you tidings of great joy..."' 663 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,966 Won't the battery die? 664 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:19,804 Gotta die sometime. 665 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:21,405 Might as well enjoy it while we can. 666 00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:26,721 Hey. 667 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:29,765 Beth's a tough girl. 668 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,003 Takes after her mom. 669 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,764 I'm sure she's fine. 670 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:37,691 Thank you. 671 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,240 Hey, Tommy. 672 00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:48,841 I, uh... 673 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,562 I just wanna say thanks for, you know, 674 00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,489 saving my ass back there. 675 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,769 Oh, well, sure. No problem. 676 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,531 And I just wanna say I'm sorry 677 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:15,160 for thinking you're such a spineless dick all these years. 678 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:19,886 Yeah. 679 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,531 You should get some sleep, pal. 680 00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,205 How? 681 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:29,651 Good point. 682 00:43:33,720 --> 00:43:34,721 Hey, Dad? 683 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,080 Are we gonna die? 684 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,888 Hey. No, no. 685 00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:43,767 No. 686 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,564 Omi's been acting different. 687 00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:50,968 Ever since the storm. 688 00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,327 Yeah, well, you know, 689 00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,648 she always gets a little weird around Christmas. 690 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,606 How come? 691 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:04,042 I don't know. She never wanted to talk about it. 692 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,490 Max. Come on. 693 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,166 Time for bed. 694 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,289 It's gonna be fine. 695 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:19,086 All right. 696 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,804 You know, Linda and I, we butt heads, 697 00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,682 but I can't imagine life without her. 698 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,324 Yeah, I know what you mean. 699 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,564 One of us should probably stay up and keep watch. 700 00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:52,564 That's a good idea. I'll go first. 701 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:55,371 No. You go ahead and catch some winks with your family. 702 00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,408 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 703 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,802 A shepherd has got to protect his flock. 704 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,763 Night, Howard. Good night. 705 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:15,960 Howie! 706 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:17,650 Dad! Dad! 707 00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,483 Hang on, Howie! 708 00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:23,361 Dad! 709 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:27,648 Sarah! Hold on, Sarah! 710 00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:30,803 - Mom! - Call 911! 711 00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:37,965 Howie, hold on! 712 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:43,881 Hold on! 713 00:48:53,240 --> 00:48:55,811 Max, get the fire extinguisher! 714 00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:59,040 Help me! Help me! Help me! 715 00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:01,487 Sarah! I got you! 716 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,650 Pull me down! 717 00:49:05,720 --> 00:49:06,881 I got you! 718 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,001 Hey! 719 00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:20,127 No! 720 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:21,531 Howie! 721 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:22,601 No, no, no! 722 00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,570 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 723 00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:43,207 Honey? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Hon? 724 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,084 What unholy thing was that? 725 00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:52,404 Howard. Howard. 726 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:56,286 It's my fault. No. 727 00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,124 I fell asleep. 728 00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,881 And they got our boy. It's all my fault. 729 00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:13,290 Tom, what's she saying? 730 00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,327 This is all of our fault? 731 00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:18,928 He's come for us all? 732 00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:21,644 He? Who? 733 00:50:21,720 --> 00:50:23,484 Who's he? I don't know. 734 00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,244 Mom, what are you talking about? 735 00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,163 Please. Listen. 736 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,721 English. I knew it. 737 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,483 I must tell you something. 738 00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,764 To all of you. 739 00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,488 It started with the wind. 740 00:50:44,280 --> 00:50:48,126 On a cold winter night, much like this. 741 00:50:49,720 --> 00:50:52,291 It was almost Christmas. 742 00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:58,201 But this Christmas was darker. Less cheerful. 743 00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,170 But I still believed in Santa. 744 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,170 In magic, 745 00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:09,962 and miracles. 746 00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,851 And the hope that we could find joy again. 747 00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,921 But our village had given up. 748 00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,250 On miracles, and on each other. 749 00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:28,531 They had forgotten the spirit of Christmas. 750 00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,891 The sacrifice of giving. 751 00:51:34,240 --> 00:51:37,801 And my family was no different. 752 00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,530 I tried to help them to believe again, 753 00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,611 but we were no longer the loving family I remembered. 754 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,731 They, too, had given up. 755 00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,601 And eventually, so did I. 756 00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:08,287 And for the first time, I didn't wish for a miracle. 757 00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:12,763 I wished for them to go away. 758 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,727 A wish I would come to regret. 759 00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:22,283 And that night, 760 00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:25,887 in the darkness of a howling blizzard, 761 00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,531 I got my wish. 762 00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:37,647 I knew Saint Nicholas was not coming this year. 763 00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:46,801 Instead, it was a much darker, more ancient spirit. 764 00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,885 The shadow of Saint Nicholas. 765 00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,001 It was Krampus. 766 00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,408 And as he had for thousands of years, 767 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:05,927 Krampus came not to reward, but to punish. 768 00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:11,009 Not to give, but to take. 769 00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,046 He and his helpers. 770 00:53:18,720 --> 00:53:23,726 I could only listen as they dragged my family into the underworld, 771 00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:27,805 knowing that I would be next. 772 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,807 But Krampus didn't take me that night. 773 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:42,443 He left me as a reminder of what happens when hope is lost, 774 00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:45,808 when belief is forgotten, 775 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,810 and the Christmas spirit dies. 776 00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,163 And here I thought I was the one losing it. 777 00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:09,527 Howard. What? 778 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,286 You believe this senile horseshit? I don't know. 779 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,291 Evil Santa? Jesus H. Almighty. 780 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:19,003 She'll be yammering about a rabid Easter Bunny come Spring. 781 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,081 Howard, that's enough. 782 00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:26,242 You damn right it's enough. 783 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:27,287 Whoever the hell's messing with us 784 00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,442 took my boy and your daughter, 785 00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:33,206 and we're sitting around listening to some twisted bedtime story? 786 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,205 Screw that. 787 00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:38,680 - I'm getting Howie back. - Howard! 788 00:54:38,720 --> 00:54:40,131 Daddy? Daddy, don't go! Howard, what are you doing? 789 00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,486 - Tommy, don't! - Stay with us, please! 790 00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:42,920 - Don't, Tommy! - Daddy, don't! 791 00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,001 Whoa! 792 00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,805 I'm starting to like you. 793 00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:49,720 I am. 794 00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,050 But this is my choice. 795 00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:53,366 Howard, what are you doing? 796 00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,484 We've got four other kids here to protect. 797 00:54:56,560 --> 00:54:57,561 Howard. 798 00:54:57,640 --> 00:54:58,801 Baby, please don't do this. 799 00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:01,770 Listen, we can figure something else out. Honey. 800 00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,446 This is how I figure things out. 801 00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:05,567 Howard, you don't wanna do this. 802 00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:06,921 Howard! 803 00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:15,561 Howie! 804 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:23,931 Howie! 805 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,970 No, shut the door! 806 00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:30,769 Inside! Shut it! 807 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:41,530 Don't open the door. 808 00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:44,440 Dad? 809 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:46,806 What are we gonna do now? 810 00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:49,809 We keep the fire hot. 811 00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,803 But what if you've been good, like, all year? 812 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,529 And you leave out milk and cookies, 813 00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:27,720 and do everything else right? 814 00:56:39,720 --> 00:56:41,085 It's not what you do. 815 00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:43,648 It's what you believe. 816 00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:45,929 And what you've given up 817 00:56:46,240 --> 00:56:47,571 in here. 818 00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:51,361 But can't we make him go away? 819 00:56:57,640 --> 00:56:59,244 What's she saying? 820 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:00,731 I'm not sure. 821 00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:02,006 She says we're fucked. 822 00:57:03,680 --> 00:57:04,681 Eh. 823 00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:06,446 How did you... 824 00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:08,488 Because I'm old enough to know when life is coming at you 825 00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,085 with his pants down. 826 00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,048 Hey. 827 00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:36,731 When they took Howie, what did you see up there? 828 00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:42,330 You believe that story, right? 829 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:44,841 Do you? 830 00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:47,568 I don't know what I believe anymore. 831 00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:50,766 I know I'm going out there to find Beth. I have to. 832 00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,520 I don't even care if I die trying. I know. 833 00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:56,167 Listen. Let's get Howard and Linda. I have an idea. 834 00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:49,600 Linda. 835 00:58:51,600 --> 00:58:53,443 Can we talk with you and Howard for a minute? 836 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,090 Can it wait? 837 00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:58,441 I just wanna get these rewrapped for the kids. 838 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,484 It's important. 839 00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:02,726 The snowplow? 840 00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,531 The keys were in the ignition and it was beat to hell. 841 00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,807 But if it runs, I drive it back here, 842 00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,042 then everyone piles in the car 843 00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:13,329 and follows, while I clear a path in front of us. 844 00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,607 And go where? 845 00:59:15,680 --> 00:59:17,887 The mall doubles as an emergency shelter. 846 00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,725 And if it's empty, we'll try the police station. 847 00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,007 And what if they're gone, too? 848 00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:27,125 Then we keep driving till we see lights or people, 849 00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,487 plowed road, somewhere safe for the kids. 850 00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:31,289 And then we bring help back here. 851 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:33,369 For Beth and Howie. 852 00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:36,131 You're not thinking of going for the plow by yourself, are you? 853 00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:41,484 Well, shepherd has got to protect his flock. 854 01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:31,640 I can't believe you're afraid to come up here by yourself. 855 01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:34,923 It's not my fault Aunt Dorothy clogged up the crapper. 856 01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:37,646 Hey, Stevie? 857 01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:38,846 Yeah? 858 01:00:39,560 --> 01:00:40,971 Do you think they took Howie 859 01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:43,646 because of the time we painted the cats? 860 01:00:43,720 --> 01:00:45,290 I don't know, Jordan. 861 01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:48,844 Do you think he's dead? 862 01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:50,845 I don't know. 863 01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:53,927 Jordan? 864 01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,365 Stevie? 865 01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:02,447 Beth? 866 01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:04,561 Beth, you up there? 867 01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,641 Stevie? Jordan? 868 01:01:07,720 --> 01:01:09,324 What are you doing? 869 01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:12,563 Where have you been? Everyone's freaking out. 870 01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:14,608 Come up here and I'll show you. 871 01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,451 I've been waiting for you guys. 872 01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:18,766 Hurry. 873 01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:21,405 Have you told Max yet? 874 01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:23,569 No. Not yet. 875 01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:26,961 Jordan? 876 01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:28,721 Stevie! 877 01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,683 Where are they? Where did they go? 878 01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:34,046 They were just here. 879 01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,849 I think they went to the bathroom. 880 01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:37,200 And you just let them go? 881 01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:38,770 Was there another option? 882 01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:42,887 Jordan! 883 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:44,962 Stevie? Jordan? Linda. 884 01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:46,881 Listen. 885 01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:50,051 Honey, who is that? 886 01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:52,444 Howard, stay here. 887 01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:58,486 Omi? Hmm? 888 01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,004 I think all this might be my fault. 889 01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:16,801 Uncle Howard? 890 01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:22,601 Rosie. 891 01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,206 Come here, girl. 892 01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,163 Useless turd. 893 01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:32,882 All right, wait here. 894 01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:50,600 Jordan? 895 01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,365 Stevie? 896 01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:07,763 Okay. Okay. 897 01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:15,131 Jordan. 898 01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:16,247 Stevie? 899 01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,289 You guys. 900 01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:40,731 The hell is this? 901 01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:49,525 God damn it. 902 01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:54,604 It's okay. I got you. 903 01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:56,964 You're gonna be okay. 904 01:04:57,760 --> 01:04:58,807 What... 905 01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:11,324 Oh, come on! 906 01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:14,840 Hey! 907 01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,803 Oh, my God! 908 01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:19,163 - No! - Jordan! No! 909 01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:20,765 Oh, my God! 910 01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,524 Shoot it, Tom! Shoot it! 911 01:05:28,600 --> 01:05:30,170 For God's sake, shoot it! 912 01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:35,921 Linda! 913 01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:48,084 We should have gone to my brother's. 914 01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,165 Where did it go? I don't know! 915 01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:06,571 Oh, my God. 916 01:06:35,760 --> 01:06:36,761 Ow! 917 01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:42,287 - Bear! - What? 918 01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:44,689 Bear! 919 01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:18,887 Oh, my God! 920 01:07:32,120 --> 01:07:33,884 You have got to be kidding me! 921 01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,286 Merry Christmas, mother... 922 01:07:45,360 --> 01:07:47,124 There he is! Charge! 923 01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,730 That's a good girl. 924 01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:28,681 Get off of me! 925 01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:38,966 Stevie? 926 01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:40,201 Stevie! 927 01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:11,444 Hey! Give me back my kids, you fudger! 928 01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:16,440 Jordan! 929 01:09:18,520 --> 01:09:21,046 Stevie. I'm coming, baby. 930 01:09:21,400 --> 01:09:23,767 Stevie. Baby. 931 01:09:23,840 --> 01:09:24,841 It's okay. 932 01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:28,049 Mama's here. Mama's here. There you go! 933 01:09:28,120 --> 01:09:30,282 Mom, it got Jordan. 934 01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:32,562 It was gonna eat me next. 935 01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:36,201 Thanks, honey. 936 01:09:36,280 --> 01:09:38,248 Are you okay? Are you okay? 937 01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,411 What? 938 01:09:55,440 --> 01:09:57,204 Mom! 939 01:09:57,280 --> 01:09:58,884 Max! 940 01:09:58,960 --> 01:10:02,806 Come on, baby. Come on, baby. It's okay. 941 01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:04,526 Max, are you okay? Yeah. 942 01:10:04,600 --> 01:10:05,761 What happened up there? 943 01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,968 They got Jordan. Who? 944 01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:15,886 Mom? 945 01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:19,120 I think it's panicking, trying to get outside. 946 01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:22,045 Well, we boarded everything up. 947 01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:24,441 Howard, that's Jordan. 948 01:10:24,520 --> 01:10:25,567 We gotta get in there. 949 01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:26,926 We gotta get in there and get her out. 950 01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:29,890 Linda, what are we dealing with? What did you see up there? 951 01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:31,724 You don't wanna know, sweetheart. 952 01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:34,531 Honey, I just got my ass kicked 953 01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:35,965 by a bunch of Christmas cookies, 954 01:10:36,040 --> 01:10:38,486 so trust me when I say I can take it! 955 01:10:49,880 --> 01:10:51,484 Max, what are you doing? 956 01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:54,686 Go get them, girl. 957 01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:04,961 Get them, Rosie. 958 01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:26,170 Rosie? 959 01:11:45,040 --> 01:11:46,769 For God's sake, Howard, shoot it! 960 01:11:49,320 --> 01:11:50,321 Dad! 961 01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:52,685 Get it off me! 962 01:11:52,760 --> 01:11:54,091 Dad! 963 01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:56,080 You bitch! 964 01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:02,604 Get it off me! God! 965 01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,651 Dad! 966 01:12:06,720 --> 01:12:08,131 Dad! 967 01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:09,721 Omi! 968 01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:28,963 Aunt Dorothy. 969 01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:30,280 Finish it. 970 01:12:30,360 --> 01:12:32,203 With pleasure. 971 01:12:40,080 --> 01:12:41,081 Oh, shit. 972 01:12:44,760 --> 01:12:46,444 Max, be careful! 973 01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:49,446 Mom! 974 01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:51,291 Stay behind me! 975 01:13:23,520 --> 01:13:25,249 Howard, where's Chrissy? I don't know! 976 01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:27,402 Where's the baby? 977 01:13:27,480 --> 01:13:29,005 Honey, where's your sister? 978 01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:32,081 No! 979 01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:33,321 No, Linda! No! 980 01:13:33,400 --> 01:13:34,481 Howard! 981 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,842 Howard, the baby! 982 01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:39,004 I'll see you in hell. 983 01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:44,524 Twisted fairytale horseshit! 984 01:13:44,600 --> 01:13:45,681 Howard, no! 985 01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:51,170 Oh, great! 986 01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,127 Are you okay? 987 01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:22,731 Are you okay? 988 01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,365 Max, get the ammo. 989 01:14:29,040 --> 01:14:30,201 Where did they go? 990 01:14:30,520 --> 01:14:31,965 I'm more worried about when they come back. 991 01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:33,405 We need to make a break for it. 992 01:14:33,520 --> 01:14:34,681 For what, Tom? 993 01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:36,649 The snowplow. It's our only shot. 994 01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:38,291 And then we're going after them. 995 01:14:39,640 --> 01:14:41,404 What is going on? 996 01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:43,085 Sarah, what's going on? 997 01:14:43,400 --> 01:14:44,731 Mom, come on, we're leaving. 998 01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:46,686 You're gonna be okay. 999 01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:51,570 Mom! We have to go. Now! 1000 01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:56,401 It's him. 1001 01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:08,726 Let's go. 1002 01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:12,208 Max. Max. Come, come, come. 1003 01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:18,680 - Hurry, hurry. - Get your gloves on. 1004 01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:20,165 Here, put your hood up. 1005 01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:24,800 Okay, ready? 1006 01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,161 Everybody... 1007 01:15:32,000 --> 01:15:33,445 Hold onto each other. 1008 01:15:43,280 --> 01:15:44,725 Omi! 1009 01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:46,441 Be good. 1010 01:15:46,800 --> 01:15:47,801 Omi! 1011 01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,331 Omi! Omi, no! 1012 01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:54,409 Omi! 1013 01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,005 Mom! 1014 01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:57,320 Mom, open the door! 1015 01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:58,721 Mom! 1016 01:15:59,920 --> 01:16:02,491 Mom, you open this door now! 1017 01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:05,967 The window. 1018 01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:07,201 Dad! 1019 01:16:07,280 --> 01:16:09,282 She wants to face him. 1020 01:16:09,360 --> 01:16:10,930 She's trying to help. 1021 01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:16,841 Let's go. 1022 01:16:17,320 --> 01:16:19,641 Let's go, let's go. Go! 1023 01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:39,924 Keep moving! 1024 01:18:58,480 --> 01:19:01,643 Go! Go, get behind me. Go. 1025 01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:04,168 Go, go, go! Keep moving. 1026 01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:06,010 Come on, buddy. 1027 01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,843 Come on. 1028 01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:26,843 You have to go. You have to go. 1029 01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:28,251 I need you to go! No. 1030 01:19:28,400 --> 01:19:31,529 All of you, you have to go. Do you understand? 1031 01:19:31,680 --> 01:19:34,365 Keep driving. Do you understand? 1032 01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:38,851 I love you. 1033 01:19:38,960 --> 01:19:40,530 I love you, buddy. 1034 01:19:42,040 --> 01:19:44,202 Go! Now. Go! 1035 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:48,441 Go! 1036 01:19:55,560 --> 01:19:56,561 Come on! 1037 01:20:19,800 --> 01:20:20,926 Come on. 1038 01:20:25,560 --> 01:20:28,086 Keep going, keep going. God, get in. 1039 01:20:28,160 --> 01:20:29,366 I want you to get up in here. 1040 01:20:29,440 --> 01:20:30,800 And I don't want you to move, okay? 1041 01:20:30,840 --> 01:20:32,285 You stay here, you don't move. 1042 01:20:35,080 --> 01:20:36,206 Okay? You understand? 1043 01:20:36,280 --> 01:20:38,726 Mom! Mom, please! 1044 01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:40,326 Sarah! 1045 01:20:40,400 --> 01:20:42,926 Baby, go with your Aunt Sarah. 1046 01:20:43,000 --> 01:20:44,001 Sarah! Go! Go on! 1047 01:20:44,760 --> 01:20:46,410 Stevie, sweetheart, it's okay. Mom! 1048 01:20:46,480 --> 01:20:48,323 It's okay. Come on. No! Mom! 1049 01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:49,681 Sarah! 1050 01:20:51,000 --> 01:20:52,440 Stay here. I'll be right back. 1051 01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:55,162 Sarah! 1052 01:20:56,360 --> 01:20:58,124 Mom! No! 1053 01:20:58,280 --> 01:21:00,044 I love you. Mom! Mom! 1054 01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:01,966 Mom! 1055 01:21:07,720 --> 01:21:09,529 Max, we gotta go. 1056 01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:12,046 Max, we gotta go. Max. 1057 01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:14,927 Come on. 1058 01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:17,086 Come on. 1059 01:21:17,880 --> 01:21:19,769 It's not starting. It's not starting. 1060 01:21:19,880 --> 01:21:21,325 Why isn't it starting? Come on. 1061 01:21:21,480 --> 01:21:23,528 Come on! Come on, Max, please. I'm trying. 1062 01:21:23,600 --> 01:21:25,409 I don't even know how to drive a stick! 1063 01:21:25,480 --> 01:21:27,005 We have a hybrid! 1064 01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:28,520 Come on! Please! 1065 01:21:36,960 --> 01:21:39,486 Get off of me! 1066 01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:44,761 Stevie! Stevie! 1067 01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:46,367 Get off me! 1068 01:21:49,960 --> 01:21:52,531 I said get off! 1069 01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:01,527 Max! 1070 01:22:07,160 --> 01:22:08,924 Max! Max, no! 1071 01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:10,729 No! No! No! 1072 01:22:11,520 --> 01:22:12,567 Max! 1073 01:22:12,640 --> 01:22:14,165 Stevie! 1074 01:22:59,800 --> 01:23:02,167 He left me as a reminder 1075 01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:06,723 of what happens when hope is lost, 1076 01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:10,811 when belief is forgotten, 1077 01:23:11,920 --> 01:23:15,686 and the Christmas spirit dies. 1078 01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:33,090 Help! 1079 01:23:35,360 --> 01:23:36,361 Help me! 1080 01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:42,761 Max! 1081 01:23:54,600 --> 01:23:55,601 Get off me! 1082 01:24:01,320 --> 01:24:02,810 Hey! 1083 01:24:03,400 --> 01:24:04,686 Asshole! 1084 01:24:16,800 --> 01:24:18,962 I take back my wish! 1085 01:24:19,480 --> 01:24:21,448 I take it all back! 1086 01:24:25,760 --> 01:24:28,809 Give me back my family! 1087 01:25:25,960 --> 01:25:27,007 Max! 1088 01:25:30,040 --> 01:25:31,849 Let her go! 1089 01:25:32,040 --> 01:25:33,644 Help me! 1090 01:25:54,280 --> 01:25:55,520 Please. 1091 01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:58,328 I know you can fix this. 1092 01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:00,323 Give them back. 1093 01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:03,925 Take me instead. 1094 01:26:41,440 --> 01:26:43,124 No, what are you doing? I said take me. 1095 01:26:44,240 --> 01:26:45,605 No, take me! 1096 01:26:45,800 --> 01:26:47,290 No, what are you doing? Take me! 1097 01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:49,530 No! 1098 01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:50,926 Stevie! 1099 01:26:57,960 --> 01:26:59,644 Let me go! 1100 01:27:00,800 --> 01:27:02,689 No! No! Please! 1101 01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:11,801 I'm sorry. 1102 01:27:14,160 --> 01:27:16,811 I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be. 1103 01:27:21,760 --> 01:27:23,410 No! 1104 01:28:36,480 --> 01:28:38,164 Good throw, Sarah. 1105 01:28:39,120 --> 01:28:41,009 - You want down? - Thank you. I appreciate that. 1106 01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:43,526 Doggie can't have cookie. No, that's your cookie. 1107 01:28:43,600 --> 01:28:45,045 This dog didn't keep you guys up? 1108 01:28:45,120 --> 01:28:46,201 She likes to bark at night. 1109 01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:47,964 She sure does. 1110 01:28:48,040 --> 01:28:50,884 Thanks for making pancakes. Those were really good. 1111 01:28:50,960 --> 01:28:52,371 Good girl. 1112 01:28:52,440 --> 01:28:54,329 Morning. 1113 01:28:54,400 --> 01:28:56,289 Flax smoothie in the morning... 1114 01:28:56,800 --> 01:28:59,644 About time you got up. We've been waiting forever. 1115 01:28:59,720 --> 01:29:01,529 Oh hey, there he is! Hey, kiddo. 1116 01:29:01,600 --> 01:29:03,680 We thought the sugarplum fairies may have gotten you. 1117 01:29:04,600 --> 01:29:05,761 You're all alive. 1118 01:29:06,080 --> 01:29:07,241 Barely. 1119 01:29:08,760 --> 01:29:11,650 I haven't felt this hungover since the pope died. 1120 01:29:11,760 --> 01:29:13,000 What's up, buddy? You okay? 1121 01:29:13,920 --> 01:29:15,126 Yeah, I just... 1122 01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:20,683 Just had a bad dream, I guess. 1123 01:29:20,880 --> 01:29:21,881 Aw. 1124 01:29:22,760 --> 01:29:24,046 Enough with the sappy crap. 1125 01:29:24,120 --> 01:29:25,531 Let's open up the damn presents. 1126 01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:27,045 Okay. Okay, already. 1127 01:29:27,120 --> 01:29:29,122 Come on, Linda, let's do this. You wanna help me? 1128 01:29:31,080 --> 01:29:32,081 Okay. 1129 01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:33,161 Okay. 1130 01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:35,846 Merry Christmas, Max. 1131 01:29:35,920 --> 01:29:36,920 Girls. 1132 01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:38,724 I got two beverages. 1133 01:29:41,640 --> 01:29:42,680 Stevie, sweetheart. 1134 01:29:43,560 --> 01:29:44,561 Thank you, Mom. 1135 01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:45,641 Are you excited? 1136 01:29:45,720 --> 01:29:47,802 Jordan. Should be. 1137 01:29:49,560 --> 01:29:50,800 Oh-ho-ho-ho! 1138 01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:51,961 Isn't that fun? 1139 01:29:52,840 --> 01:29:54,842 Hey, Maxi-Pad. Training batting gloves. 1140 01:29:56,360 --> 01:29:57,805 What could that possibly be? 1141 01:29:58,440 --> 01:29:59,646 Oh, my God! 1142 01:30:00,040 --> 01:30:01,610 "Oh, my God," is right. 1143 01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:03,120 That's from me and the girls. 1144 01:30:03,280 --> 01:30:05,089 I had to reattach the foot. 1145 01:30:05,160 --> 01:30:07,322 Yeah, if you look closely, 1146 01:30:07,480 --> 01:30:10,131 he did a really good job of reattaching it. 1147 01:30:11,640 --> 01:30:12,880 The darn thing, when we came up on it, 1148 01:30:13,000 --> 01:30:14,240 it was trying to chew its own foot. 1149 01:30:14,320 --> 01:30:15,731 Oh, thank you. 1150 01:30:15,840 --> 01:30:17,569 This is great. 1151 01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,444 You're the best, Howard. I want travel-size. 1152 01:30:19,640 --> 01:30:21,563 Wow. What's this all about? 1153 01:30:22,440 --> 01:30:24,522 It's nothing. Just... 1154 01:30:25,320 --> 01:30:26,685 Merry Christmas. 1155 01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:29,444 Merry Christmas to you, too, Max. 1156 01:30:29,520 --> 01:30:31,363 Merry Christmas, son. 1157 01:30:39,120 --> 01:30:40,121 Right? 1158 01:30:40,200 --> 01:30:41,565 I cannot believe it. 1159 01:30:41,680 --> 01:30:44,160 - This is the best. - Oh, my God. 1160 01:30:44,320 --> 01:30:45,810 You're very welcome. 1161 01:30:45,880 --> 01:30:47,689 Oh, man. 1162 01:30:58,920 --> 01:31:01,571 I just wanted Christmas to be like it used to be. 1163 01:31:02,360 --> 01:31:04,249 That's what a family is, Max. 1164 01:31:04,360 --> 01:31:06,200 Nothing bad's gonna happen on Christmas, right? 1165 01:31:06,240 --> 01:31:09,608 I just got my ass kicked by a bunch of Christmas cookies, 1166 01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:10,920 so trust me when I say I can take it! 1167 01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:12,929 "They're why some people shouldn't be allowed to breed!" 1168 01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:14,770 Do you think they took Howie 1169 01:31:14,840 --> 01:31:16,569 because of the time he painted the cats? 1170 01:31:19,680 --> 01:31:22,524 And as he had for thousands of years, 1171 01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:27,764 Krampus came not to reward, but to punish. 1172 01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:33,364 Not to give, but to take.