1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,092
- Where is she?
2
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:04,092
- Just over six weeks ago,
3
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:05,383
ten brave singles
4
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,924
took a blind leap of faith
in order to find love.
5
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,930
They married as
complete strangers.
6
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,103
♪ ♪
7
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:15,061
- ♪ Don’t know
the square root of 3,000 ♪
8
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,432
Last time,
our couples went on a retreat
9
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,389
in hopes of strengthening
their marriage
10
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,518
before that
all-important Decision Day.
11
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,686
- ♪ Play my heart
like a violin ♪
12
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,485
- Jasmina,
if you, like--you decide
13
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,660
you don’t want to stay,
you’re gonna really regret
14
00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:33,319
the moment of not staying
in this marriage
15
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,618
because you’re gonna say,
16
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:35,913
"I really did love him,"
17
00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:37,454
and it’s mutual,
18
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:39,119
but you just
don’t both know that yet.
19
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:40,868
♪ ♪
20
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,132
- I woke up
this morning at four,
21
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:46,964
really sick to my stomach.
22
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,549
- Thanks for taking me.
- Oh, yeah, of course.
23
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:50,973
As long as she knows I’m there.
24
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,723
No matter what happened
yesterday,
25
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,473
I’m still gonna,
you know, help her,
26
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,846
no matter what we go through.
27
00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:56,931
- I really appreciate it.
28
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,177
- ♪ You’re taking up
all my time ♪
29
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,398
- You know, it sounds like
you want your single life,
30
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,440
you know,
and that’s not married life.
31
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:10,155
- You know, it’s just, like,
a big life change for me.
32
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,319
- A part of me is a bit
concerned because
33
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,527
it may be a signal
34
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,775
that she might not be taking
the marriage seriously.
35
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,987
Okay, do you really want
to be married to me?
36
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,620
♪ ♪
37
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:22,745
- I know you--you said you
38
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:23,923
wanted to have
kids in two years right?
39
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,421
How much more do you
have left in school?
40
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,383
- Two years.
41
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,172
- How you gonna have kids
in two years
42
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:30,338
when you just
coming out of school?
43
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,295
Our timeline is not meeting,
44
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,304
and these are decisions
that I have to make
45
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,968
when it gets close
to Decision Day.
46
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,676
I want you to be realistic,
that’s all.
47
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,216
♪ ♪
48
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,138
- ♪ Come back home ♪
49
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,098
- And tonight,
with less than two weeks
50
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,516
before Decision Day,
our husbands and wives
51
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:49,358
will get a glimpse
into each other’s pasts...
52
00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:50,574
- This is my childhood home.
53
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,862
- As they try to build
an even stronger bond
54
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:54,989
with their partner.
55
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:58,373
- One person made all
the pain and loneliness
56
00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,833
you felt disappear.
57
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,543
- I do appreciate
Jasmina being super open.
58
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,535
- This was actually
my main stuffed animal, Sparky.
59
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,088
- So cute!
60
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,130
- I mean, he’s, like 38.
61
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:12,132
That’s a long time to have
a stuffed animal.
62
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,755
- Why no kissing and touching?
63
00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:16,552
- I don’t have, like,
the urge.
64
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,848
- It’s hard to hear from
somebody that you want to be
65
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,852
in a relationship with
tell you that
66
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,352
she doesn’t want to be
physically intimate.
67
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,355
- All men require attention,
but for him,
68
00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:28,397
he requires, like,
a little higher level.
69
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:32,243
And it could be draining
for me, personally.
70
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:33,861
♪ ♪
71
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,567
- I’m not gonna let you
hurt me.
72
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:36,737
That’s it.
The wall is up.
73
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:37,905
You’re out.
74
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,623
♪ ♪
75
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,621
- ♪ It’s all or nothing ♪
76
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,293
- This is
"Married at First Sight."
77
00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:47,383
- ♪ There’s no other way ♪
78
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,961
♪ It’s all or nothing ♪
79
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:53,262
- ♪ I don’t need
anybody but you ♪
80
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:56,722
♪ No, I don’t need
anybody but you ♪
81
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,262
- Back home we go.
82
00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:00,387
- The couples retreat
has come to an end,
83
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,734
and our couples are
returning home to Boston.
84
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,849
And with less than two weeks
before Decision Day,
85
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,857
it’s important that
our couples dive deeper
86
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,440
and be vulnerable
with each other
87
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,606
before they have to make
88
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:16,074
the most important decision
of their lives.
89
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:23,164
♪ ♪
90
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,923
- When the medium came,
who did you think
91
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:33,132
was gonna come
and speak to you?
92
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:36,135
- I assumed my mom,
my grandmother,
93
00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,638
was probably gonna come about,
94
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,550
or give them messages
at some point.
95
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:45,977
I didn’t--I didn’t expect
my brother would at all.
96
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,271
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
97
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,653
- She also mentioned
two people.
98
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:52,522
- There was something, like,
two other people.
99
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,817
Were there two other people
that were involved
100
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,282
in what happened to him?
101
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,032
- Damn, yeah.
102
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,952
- ’Cause they’re saying
two other people.
103
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,370
- Yeah.
104
00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:03,489
Um, the two people
she’s referring to
105
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:07,328
were the two people that
picked him up from work.
106
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,826
- Mm-hmm.
- And...
107
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:13,378
The story is,
on the drive back to bring him
108
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,512
home from work,
he got into some type
109
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:21,340
of road rage incident
where he got to the red light,
110
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,850
and the guy in the car
111
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:27,852
shot at the passenger seat
my brother was in.
112
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,476
And there was a guy driving
and somebody else
113
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,901
in the back, so...
114
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,479
That’s what she means
by two people.
115
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:34,825
- Wow.
- Yeah.
116
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,531
When I heard that,
I’m like, "Oh, [bleep]."
117
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,491
- I know.
118
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:39,699
That’s when I was like,
oh, damn.
119
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,861
I’m noticing
a lot of change in him.
120
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:45,580
It definitely has become
a lot easier for Michael
121
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:50,540
to trust me to be able
to open up and be vulnerable.
122
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,375
- Anything she said to you
shock you?
123
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,841
In terms of where she--
- About me?
124
00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:54,879
- Yeah.
125
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,053
- Twins, a year and a half.
126
00:04:57,172 --> 00:05:00,842
- Yeah, that’s the part
that’s like, hmm, I don’t know.
127
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,386
- That mean
that we had a slip-up.
128
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,432
[both laugh]
129
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:09,564
- ♪ So let’s chill out
and take a ride ♪
130
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:10,894
- Oh, my knees hurt.
131
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:16,359
♪ ♪
132
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,193
- I’m looking forward to more
road trips with you, husband.
133
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,357
- Oh, are you?
134
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:23,738
- Yeah!
I liked that.
135
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,025
Can we go when it’s snowing?
136
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,039
In wintertime?
- Oh, Jet Skiing?
137
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,752
I mean skiing?
- No.
138
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:35,383
- I love to ski.
- I want to do that dog thing.
139
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,380
- You want to do the dog thing.
What’s that?
140
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,302
- You know when the dog--
sleigh ride thing?
141
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:41,421
- Oh, sleigh, yeah.
- Yeah.
142
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,010
Being in Vermont
gave us a chance to spend time
143
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,264
with each other
away from the city.
144
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:49,768
We got into some nature
and we got to do new things
145
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,431
we’ve never experienced before.
146
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,980
I feel like
since I’ve met him,
147
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,901
I’ve been stepping out
of my comfort zone.
148
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,150
I never thought I would
run with the sheep,
149
00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,532
or whatever that animal is...
150
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,239
[music winds down]
151
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,361
[crickets chirp]
152
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,366
So I’m thankful
for my future baby daddy
153
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:09,739
because he just makes me
feel like a superwoman.
154
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,790
[laughs]
155
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,923
- I feel like we--I feel like
the biggest thing we got
156
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:16,459
out of the couple retreat
is learning about each other,
157
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:21,305
like, hitting--
going deeper than the surface.
158
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,223
That’s the biggest thing
I got out of that whole thing.
159
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,130
That’s the part
that matters to me.
160
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,600
That’s what part I’m focused on
moving forward.
161
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,141
It was cool chilling
with all the couples.
162
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,934
I had fun,
but time is cutting down.
163
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,228
It’s time for us
to really start
164
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,810
locking in
on deep questions.
165
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,766
- Yeah, of course.
166
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:41,615
- I’m worried about
our future timeline.
167
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,825
Can we have kids
within two years?
168
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,446
[clears throat]
Am I gonna sacrifice traveling?
169
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:51,994
Am I gonna sacrifice
to see if Katina could keep me
170
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,210
satisfied while
adding more to her plate?
171
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:56,830
I don’t have an answer.
172
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,378
[sighs]
173
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,170
God, I’ve been
waiting for this
174
00:07:00,295 --> 00:07:01,845
since we got out of bed
this morning.
175
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,013
[laughs]
- To lay back down?
176
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,302
- A very positive day.
- [laughs]
177
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,474
♪ ♪
178
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,183
- ♪ Last night there
was a dream in my head ♪
179
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,516
♪ There was
a dream in my head ♪
180
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:15,893
- Every couple’s
marriage journey
181
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:16,977
is uniquely their own.
182
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,483
But it’s our job
as experts to make sure
183
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,024
they have
the all the tools to make
184
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,819
the biggest decision
of their lives.
185
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:26,153
- Are you excited
to see where I come from?
186
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,199
- Yeah, I want to see
where little Olajuwon grew up.
187
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:32,794
- Got my first car at this
car place on the corner here.
188
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,539
- This week,
as the couples share
189
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,963
insights into their pasts...
190
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,619
- Oh, my God,
that’s the nursing home
191
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:38,827
right there that I used
to volunteer at.
192
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,169
- The brick building
right there?
193
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,673
- The goal is to build
194
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,385
more emotional intimacy
195
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,015
by revealing something
vulnerable about themselves.
196
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:49,841
For some, that will be easier
than it will be for others.
197
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,390
So this week,
we’ve also encouraged
198
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,684
each person to write
a letter to their younger self
199
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,558
at a significant time
in their life.
200
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,235
We hope that revealing more
about themselves
201
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,353
and their past will allow
for a clearer picture
202
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,230
of their present
and their future.
203
00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,687
♪ ♪
204
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,648
- How does it feel
to be back home?
205
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:08,066
- Amazing.
- Yeah?
206
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,776
- I always love coming home.
207
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:15,544
Cannot believe we are
on my old childhood street.
208
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,870
Wow.
209
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,538
Well, this is
my childhood home.
210
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,245
♪ ♪
211
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:23,457
This was, like,
the last place where,
212
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:27,265
like, I lived with my mommy
and dad under one roof.
213
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,052
We eventually left
this place ’cause,
214
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,925
after they got a divorce,
my mom didn’t want to stay
215
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,432
in a house that
was originally his.
216
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,644
- Okay.
217
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,930
[laughter]
218
00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,269
♪ ♪
219
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,405
Our bathtub was like, green.
220
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,942
But like,
all of my sisters have a photo
221
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,776
in the same bathtub
with, like, our dad
222
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:49,701
just, like, washing our hair.
223
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,569
So I’ll always remember that.
224
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,619
Showing Michael around my home
is kind of bittersweet
225
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,044
because growing up
was a little rough,
226
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,331
but I feel like it’s important
227
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,834
for him to just understand
how I am
228
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,956
the way I am today,
and, you know,
229
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,415
understand things
that I’ve been through,
230
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,134
the good, the bad,
and the ugly.
231
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,916
♪ ♪
232
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,968
Right here.
This is my school.
233
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,763
Wow, playground,
everything’s still here.
234
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:15,806
♪ ♪
235
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,470
Oh, my God.
236
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,639
♪ ♪
237
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,808
This is where
I went to school
238
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:24,145
when a lot of things
were happening back home,
239
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:27,532
and it was, like,
my safe space, like my outlet.
240
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:28,569
Like, my sister and I--
241
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:29,991
like, we just, like,
really had each other.
242
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,701
My dad was just
always on the road
243
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,571
because of work.
244
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,577
Like, he was a truck driver.
- Mm-hmm.
245
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,329
- He used to come here
and pick me up
246
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:39,163
in his big-ass truck,
247
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,457
and I used to be
so embarrassed.
248
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,881
And I had met a teacher here,
and her name was Mrs. Potaski.
249
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,169
And I, like, loved her so much.
250
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,955
She used to make me,
like, forget about
251
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,969
anything that was, like,
happening, like, at home...
252
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,132
- Yeah, yeah.
253
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,798
- And gave me a lot of love
when she didn’t know
254
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,019
that that was, like,
missing in my life.
255
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,680
♪ ♪
256
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,849
- You think if you never met
Ms. Ptaki, then--
257
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,727
- Potaski.
You gonna respect her!
258
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,193
- What’d I say?
- "Ptaki."
259
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,114
- Okay, Ms. Potaski.
If you didn’t meet her,
260
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,941
you think you wouldn’t be
a teacher now?
261
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,396
She had that much
of a profound impact?
262
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,946
- Yeah. Probably not.
- Damn.
263
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,583
Does she know that?
264
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,540
- No, I don’t think
she knows that.
265
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,002
- Damn.
266
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,710
It’s tough to hear,
you know,
267
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:24,922
the things
that she’s been through
268
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:25,879
and how they affected her
269
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,170
because, you know,
I do care for her.
270
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,343
But, you know,
when it comes to traumas,
271
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:32,381
when it comes to childhood,
of course,
272
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,627
I want to know those things,
because those are
273
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,136
the things that really
help me understand her
274
00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,049
and see her as a full person.
275
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,509
♪ ♪
276
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,690
- So I’m gonna read you
277
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,402
a letter that I wrote
to my younger self,
278
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:51,033
which is around this time.
279
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,489
- I’m excited.
280
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,198
- Here I go.
[laughs]
281
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:03,663
"You went through a lot
as a child.
282
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:06,496
"Your biological mom left you.
Your dad left you.
283
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,793
You got bullied."
284
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:15,587
♪ ♪
285
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:16,927
- Take your time.
286
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,811
♪ ♪
287
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,599
- "Your first stepmom...
288
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:24,684
[sniffles]
"she never hugged you.
289
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,187
"She never loved you.
290
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:29,609
"And you felt alone
in that house.
291
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,731
"During this time,
school became
292
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,568
your safe space,
and you met Mrs. Potaski."
293
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,992
♪ ♪
294
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:40,831
"One person made all the pain
295
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:46,619
"and loneliness you felt
disappear
296
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:50,918
"and change your life
for the better.
297
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,592
"Now fast forward
24 years later.
298
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,461
"You’re 29 and a teacher.
299
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:56,920
♪ ♪
300
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,390
"You’re a teacher
because you love children.
301
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,469
"You want to make a difference
in their lives,
302
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,056
"guide them, and teach them.
303
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,809
You want school
to be a safe space for them..."
304
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,604
♪ ♪
305
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,476
"Just like it was for you."
306
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:15,026
♪ ♪
307
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:18,279
"You made it out, and not
many people can say that.
308
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:20,243
"So keep living the life
you’re living now,
309
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:23,163
and I promise you’ll be proud
of the woman you become later."
310
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:26,124
♪ ♪
311
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,956
[both sniffling]
312
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,669
[both chuckle]
313
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:35,956
I do appreciate
having Jasmina be super open,
314
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,469
super vulnerable, I mean.
315
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,841
Okay.
[clears throat]
316
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,008
♪ ♪
317
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:45,176
I’ve never heard her
go into such detail
318
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:46,716
about the things that
she’s been through.
319
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,518
It’s just showing me
320
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:49,893
how much progress
we’ve made,
321
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,848
because, up until recently,
322
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,310
we couldn’t even have
these conversations.
323
00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:59,068
And I love getting to see what
made Jasmina who she is today.
324
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:03,663
Hearing all that,
it’s like I see you more.
325
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,083
I think it also
makes me appreciate, like,
326
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,041
how strong you are now.
327
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:10,793
You know?
328
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,713
And you can see somebody
and see they’re strong,
329
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,464
see they’re articulate,
see they’re confident,
330
00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:18,884
and just assume that they have
never been through anything.
331
00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:21,797
♪ ♪
332
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,144
It makes me proud of you,
like, knowing all of that.
333
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,760
Makes me proud.
- You’re proud of me?
334
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:28,217
- Yeah.
- ♪ I think you’re a star ♪
335
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,979
♪ Can I watch you shine? ♪
336
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,560
♪ Let me see you ♪
337
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,897
- ♪ Think you’re messing
with my head ♪
338
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:40,526
♪ Just cause
I let you in my bed ♪
339
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,533
♪ ♪
340
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,073
♪ Think you know me ♪
341
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,698
♪ But you don’t know me ♪
342
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,365
- I feel like Mark has spent
the greater majority
343
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:51,664
of our time together
saying how I’m "too much"--
344
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:55,708
too loving, too giving,
too caring, too energetic,
345
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:58,593
too much, too much,
too much, too much.
346
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:02,263
And I spent a good majority
of last night listening to him
347
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:06,763
talk about how I was too much
in five different ways.
348
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,153
- It makes me realize that
349
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,073
he should find
a lesser woman
350
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,705
because I don’t want to make
351
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,410
myself any less
for someone else.
352
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,912
♪ ♪
353
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,205
[train horn blares]
354
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,446
- ♪ Everybody always
acting like they know me ♪
355
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,210
- ♪ They do, they do ♪
- ♪ But they don’t though ♪
356
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,591
- It was interesting
growing up around here.
357
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:41,090
Having a single mother
358
00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,422
with three brothers,
two sisters.
359
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,429
Four people were living
in a two bedroom.
360
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,391
My bedroom in the back--
it had twelve windows,
361
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:51,061
and it was literally
a back porch.
362
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,890
One of my other brothers--
his bedroom was the attic.
363
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:55,266
That’s not--
that’s not a bedroom.
364
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:57,315
- Mm-hmm.
365
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,398
- These buildings
is what made me who I am.
366
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,782
I love where I come from.
367
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,779
But it was tough as [bleep]
growing up in the projects.
368
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:08,124
And me and my wife are
raised totally different,
369
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,791
so I just hope that, you know,
she doesn’t judge me.
370
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,459
This is why I take
everything so serious.
371
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,960
When I say,
"Let’s go to college,
372
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,792
let’s bang out
our student loans,"
373
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,287
these are things
I accomplished.
374
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:20,169
Buy a house.
Sell a house.
375
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:22,174
These are things
I accomplished.
376
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,296
It’s all because
these brick buildings.
377
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,804
♪ ♪
378
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,965
We used to play football
right here in the street.
379
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,932
If you touch a car,
it’s out of bounds.
380
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,812
We’ll make this, like,
the touchdown zone.
381
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,971
Every day,
somebody’s arguing
382
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,638
cause somebody hit somebody’s
car who came out here.
383
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:36,978
- Oh, my God.
- But there was so many kids.
384
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:38,313
We just didn’t care.
385
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,808
But these are the things
that--that--
386
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,480
it’s special to me.
387
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,148
- It’s like I can see
little Olajuwon
388
00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:45,615
running around
with his brothers.
389
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:48,495
- I used to be a little fat boy
when I lived out here, though.
390
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,994
- I know, you told me
you were ten pounds
391
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,776
when you were born.
I’m like, "Holy [bleep]."
392
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,578
I definitely think that
it’s cool and admirable that
393
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,162
he’s not ashamed
of where he came from.
394
00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:58,167
’Cause, you know, some people,
it’s not something
395
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,381
that they want to go back to
when they become successful.
396
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:01,711
They just want to, like,
397
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:03,496
keep that in the past
and block it out.
398
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,509
So I’m just happy
that he’s letting me
399
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:09,340
into that side of his life
to express himself to me.
400
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,297
I like that you
brought me back
401
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,427
to, you know,
where you grew up.
402
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,683
It’s like I get to see
a piece of who you are.
403
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,517
- Yeah.
- Even if, like, later on,
404
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,602
if we have kids, I’ll be like,
"Your dad grew up here."
405
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,186
When we’re, like,
passing by, you know,
406
00:16:20,271 --> 00:16:22,021
like, I can tell
your story too.
407
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,726
- I’m very open
and I’m very passionate
408
00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:27,398
about where I come from,
you know?
409
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:28,858
It’s why I am who I am.
410
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,858
I know I get tough on you.
411
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,158
I know I get upset
kind of easy.
412
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,332
[laughs]
413
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,580
But I think it’s just because
of how I was raised.
414
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,664
Like, out here,
just growing up,
415
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,868
you can’t be--
you can’t be soft.
416
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,790
They will smack you,
whatever, call you a bi--
417
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:43,707
whatever they want.
418
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,884
So I think
that’s the reason why,
419
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,085
when I feel like
I’m being triggered
420
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,095
or I’m being played with,
421
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,926
I let it be known
right from the beginning,
422
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,722
because that’s
how I was raised.
423
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,055
It’s not because I’m trying
to be a tough guy,
424
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:58,061
but this explains
half of my battle.
425
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,394
This explains to you
why I am why I am.
426
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,190
- I see it.
427
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,691
- Katina’s life experience
is different than mine
428
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,734
because she was raised
in the suburbs, you know.
429
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,239
Her mom has a nice house.
430
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:10,739
She has a five-bedroom house,
two baths.
431
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,873
This [bleep]’s real.
432
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,909
I don’t want you
to ever think that I’m just
433
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,044
this guy with high energy
and he’s good
434
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,039
and then, when he gets upset,
he’s not good.
435
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,501
And I love that you
take the time to know me,
436
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,582
’cause you--you could have
easily said,
437
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,919
"Nah, he doesn’t come from
where I come from,
438
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,875
"and I’m straight,
I’m not doing this.
439
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,634
"I don’t want a man
who’s like this.
440
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,257
"I want more of a guy
who is more proper
441
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,764
with how he dressed."
442
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,595
But you don’t.
You look past that.
443
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,100
♪ ♪
444
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:39,272
I thank you for that, for real.
- I got you.
445
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:41,020
- ♪ Yeah, it’s time to shine ♪
446
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,602
♪ Yeah, it’s time to shine ♪
447
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,768
- Thank you, for real.
448
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,107
♪ ♪
449
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,361
- ♪ Did you know you were
playing with fire? ♪
450
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:53,454
♪ Did you know you
were playing with fire? ♪
451
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,281
[knock at door]
452
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,326
- Hey. How are you?
- Hi there.
453
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,791
I’m good.
I hope you are too.
454
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,501
- I’m okay.
It’s good to see you.
455
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:01,751
- Likewise.
456
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,501
With just a week and a half
left until Decision Day,
457
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,165
this is such a crucial time
in these marriages
458
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:10,635
because each husband and wife
really needs to focus
459
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,685
on whether or not their partner
is truly giving them
460
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,971
what they need to sustain
a long-term marriage.
461
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:20,814
And we expect our couples
to use this time left
462
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,733
to continue being vulnerable
463
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,980
because without vulnerability
at a marriage’s foundation,
464
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,435
it is sure
to eventually crumble.
465
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,110
I know it’s been difficult.
466
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,364
I know you guys have been
up and down a lot.
467
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:36,198
So tell me
where you think you’re at,
468
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,994
and what are the things that
469
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:41,865
you need to work on
that I can help with?
470
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:47,381
- My struggle
in the marriage has been
471
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:51,461
the same struggle
I feel like I’ve had for weeks,
472
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,087
where we have good times,
473
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:59,006
and then very frustrating
conversations for me.
474
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,678
It’s hard for me
to be overly affectionate
475
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:06,687
if we have difficult arguments
that drain me.
476
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:10,771
When we were in Vermont,
um, I used the word "hyper,"
477
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,318
I think,
and it triggered something up.
478
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:16,412
I thought that,
because you get so hyper,
479
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,200
it might be nice--
- Okay, that’s rude.
480
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,375
- I wasn’t being rude.
It was a joke.
481
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:23,544
- I’m gonna go get a water.
482
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:27,213
- I would never know that,
so it’s like I get--
483
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,133
I feel bad,
but I get frustrated.
484
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,590
It’s like,
I have no clue all the words
485
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:32,921
that may trigger you
to feel a way.
486
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:34,877
- Well, "hyper"
is not a compliment.
487
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:38,337
♪ ♪
488
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,217
What do you mean by hyper?
489
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,564
- Like there’s times
when we’ll be, like,
490
00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:44,979
laying down, and like,
Lindsey will want to wrestle,
491
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,389
and I, like--
492
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,189
I know that she’s, like,
being playful,
493
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,520
but sometimes it’s too much,
so I’m like,
494
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,565
"Okay, you need to like stop.
I don’t want you to be like--
495
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:52,399
"I don’t need you
licking my neck
496
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,575
"and biting me and pinching me.
497
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,863
It’s just too much.
Like, once, cool."
498
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,704
But too much,
and then I tell her to stop,
499
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,069
stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, and--
500
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,737
- And you don’t stop?
501
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,366
- I don’t think
he’s ever said to me, like,
502
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:03,951
"Lindsey, I really
don’t like that, stop."
503
00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:05,908
Usually it’s like,
"Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop."
504
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,078
You know, it’s like
this playful thing with him.
505
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,917
- I have never said it
like that, ever.
506
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,422
♪ ♪
507
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,054
[laughing]
Can you stop?
508
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:15,919
- It’s time to wake up.
509
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,258
- [laughing]
Stop, please.
510
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:19,764
- Wha--what?
511
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:22,635
- [laughing] Stop, stop.
Stop means stop.
512
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:27,103
- Well, what this is telling me
is you guys are lacking
513
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:30,774
a lot of basic understanding
of each other.
514
00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:31,695
- Absolutely.
515
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,942
- Can you ask
each other questions?
516
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,937
- No.
- Why not?
517
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,109
- He’s so quick
to justify everything.
518
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,108
"Oh, it was a joke."
519
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,529
"Oh, well,
you took it the wrong way."
520
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,325
"Oh, you’re too oversensitive."
521
00:20:43,451 --> 00:20:45,661
Like, you just always make
these justifications
522
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,036
for your behavior.
523
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,121
And then you say
you apologize,
524
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,247
and we resolve them--
nothing is ever resolved.
525
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,463
You walk away,
and you dismiss me.
526
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,086
I don’t know what to tell you.
527
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:57,051
I get to this point
where I’m like, "Okay,
528
00:20:57,131 --> 00:20:58,131
"you don’t want to care?
529
00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,967
I don’t want to care more,"
and I don’t care.
530
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,933
♪ ♪
531
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:04,642
And I’m not gonna let you
hurt me.
532
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:05,512
No more.
533
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,679
You don’t get
to come in anymore.
534
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:08,808
That’s it.
The wall’s up.
535
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,604
You’re out.
536
00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:14,306
♪ ♪
537
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,360
- Those are
final types of words.
538
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:19,364
Why don’t you talk to him,
ask him if he doesn’t care?
539
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,324
- I--I don’t want to hear
his answer.
540
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:28,198
[dramatic music]
541
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:32,169
Because I’m not sure
this is the right guy for me.
542
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:36,841
♪ ♪
543
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,172
- Why don’t you talk to him?
544
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:42,718
Ask him if he doesn’t care.
545
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,973
♪ ♪
546
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,644
- I--I don’t want to hear
his answer...
547
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,563
♪ ♪
548
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:54,654
Because I’m not sure
this is the right guy for me.
549
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:58,150
♪ ♪
550
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:01,194
- I think you should hear
his answer.
551
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:03,488
- Mark, do you care
about what I say?
552
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,621
- I do.
553
00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:10,001
- How?
554
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:13,169
- I don’t do anything
to deliberately hurt you.
555
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,539
And I think you view it
as I’m doing stuff
556
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:18,458
to deliberately hurt you,
and I’m not.
557
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,626
If I was deliberately gonna--
I’m gonna hurt you,
558
00:22:20,714 --> 00:22:22,014
I would just end
this relationship
559
00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,181
and be done with it.
560
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:25,339
- I actually believe that.
I do.
561
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,387
- I don’t think he considers--
- But the second question
562
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,311
is a different question.
- Yeah.
563
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:32,180
- "Are you thinking about
how things will affect me?"
564
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,688
That’s a different question.
565
00:22:33,769 --> 00:22:35,399
- For me,
I think it’s the same one.
566
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:37,689
Like, if you’re my husband,
and you’re supposed to--
567
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,193
like, your vow
is choose me first,
568
00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:42,356
and you’re vowing
to choose me first,
569
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:44,534
you’re gonna take me
into consideration
570
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,033
in all things you do and act.
571
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:47,415
♪ ♪
572
00:22:47,491 --> 00:22:48,951
You know,
the other day, I said,
573
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,236
"Mark, pay attention to us."
574
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,369
And then he went straight to
Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat,
575
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:55,535
text messages.
I said, "Wait a minute.
576
00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:57,884
I just asked you for,
you know, a few minutes."
577
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,090
And it’s hard for me
because I’m like,
578
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:02,381
I just can’t get his attention
even for five seconds.
579
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:04,514
♪ ♪
580
00:23:04,592 --> 00:23:08,552
- One of the things
that both of you said
581
00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:10,557
is how much you were
going to give to this.
582
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:13,349
Both of you were people
who said you’d give your all.
583
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:14,894
- I think I’ve done that.
584
00:23:14,977 --> 00:23:17,847
- And I think you have
in many ways.
585
00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:20,228
But it also takes growth.
586
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:23,986
And what it needs
is for both of you
587
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,031
to work against the things
588
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,493
that have kept you
from marriage
589
00:23:27,615 --> 00:23:29,415
up to this point.
590
00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:34,621
My firm belief is that if
you could give more affection
591
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:38,627
and support and focus
to your wife,
592
00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:41,499
that some of the behavior
that bothers you the most
593
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:43,669
would diminish greatly.
594
00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:44,877
- Mm-hmm.
595
00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:47,715
- And I’ve asked you
to try and reduce the pressure.
596
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:49,971
Let him move towards you,
597
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:53,135
as opposed to you
moving towards him.
598
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:54,465
- You know what, though?
599
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,308
I want somebody
I can have fun with.
600
00:23:56,393 --> 00:23:58,693
I want somebody
who’s going to be dynamic
601
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,732
and embrace me
and lean into me,
602
00:24:00,814 --> 00:24:03,444
not telling me I’m too much
and I need to be less.
603
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:05,815
I want somebody who’s
going to try the new food.
604
00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:07,955
Talk to the new person--
- He did try the new food.
605
00:24:08,030 --> 00:24:10,620
Didn’t he try sushi?
- I’ve tried a lot of food.
606
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:11,989
- No, seriously, didn’t he?
607
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:14,326
- He tried
some cucumber rice?
608
00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:16,203
- Are you chewing it?
609
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,420
- Yeah, two to three bites.
610
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:21,750
- What is this stuff again?
I don’t even know what this is.
611
00:24:21,835 --> 00:24:24,125
- Salsa.
That’s my favorite salsa.
612
00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:26,013
- What is that?
- A grape leaf.
613
00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:27,130
It’s, um--
614
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:29,426
- [chewing]
[laughs]
615
00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:32,010
What is this?
616
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:34,137
- Give him a break.
Seriously.
617
00:24:34,223 --> 00:24:36,733
You just said, "I want somebody
who will try new foods,"
618
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:40,480
and he’s trying new foods
through you because of you.
619
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,362
- It’s hard to hear that
because I feel as though
620
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:44,269
the majority of it,
he was like, "Don’t try and--
621
00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,188
Don’t give me new things.
I don’t like it."
622
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,358
- Can you just do it
in chewable bites?
623
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:52,317
If we have seven meals a week,
I know, with knowing you,
624
00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:54,328
every meal, you’re gonna,
"Here, try this.
625
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:56,870
"Have you tried it before?
You haven’t tried it before?
626
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:57,996
Why don’t you try it?
Try it."
627
00:24:58,080 --> 00:24:59,120
- [laughing]
"I hate that.
628
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:01,116
I don’t like it."
"Have you ever had it before?"
629
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,328
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
630
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:05,208
- But-but--but, like--
- But he’s saying baby steps.
631
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,457
He saying something fair,
Lindsey.
632
00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:09,338
Baby steps.
- I say to you several times,
633
00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:12,475
the food is the same thing
with the feelings.
634
00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:14,893
Let me get there.
635
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,435
Demanding them
and needing them, I get--
636
00:25:17,558 --> 00:25:19,018
you want it, I get it.
I know it.
637
00:25:19,101 --> 00:25:20,391
You tell me every day,
every week.
638
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:21,937
I get it.
I know what you want.
639
00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:23,942
Like, I know
how to love someone.
640
00:25:24,064 --> 00:25:26,904
I have, plenty of times,
been overly romantic
641
00:25:26,984 --> 00:25:28,864
when I haven’t been--
642
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:31,864
you gotta give me what I need.
643
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:35,527
If you let me,
I can bet all my money on it.
644
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,867
I can do everything
you’ve never been given,
645
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:40,753
like I said pre-wedding.
646
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,083
You want to be told
you’re important.
647
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,878
You want to be told
that I appreciate you.
648
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:46,210
You want to be told that no
matter what happens, Lindsey,
649
00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:48,215
you’re going to make it through
because you’re a fighter.
650
00:25:48,297 --> 00:25:51,087
I know how to touch your heart.
651
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:52,805
- ♪ ’Cause I know
we’ve been hurt ♪
652
00:25:52,926 --> 00:25:55,046
♪ But I know we can make it ♪
653
00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:59,887
♪ ♪
654
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,725
- ♪ You take the high road ♪
655
00:26:02,811 --> 00:26:05,731
♪ I’ll take the heart road ♪
656
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:09,694
- So where
I’m taking you today...
657
00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:12,567
is the last place me
and my mother lived together.
658
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:15,914
- Okay.
- I lived there from 14 to 18,
659
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:18,161
so pretty much
all my high school years.
660
00:26:18,285 --> 00:26:20,195
- Have you been back since,
or...
661
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,577
- No.
662
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:23,623
I haven’t been back
since...
663
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:25,129
The last time
I was on that street,
664
00:26:25,209 --> 00:26:27,629
I was cleaning out
the house.
665
00:26:27,753 --> 00:26:29,253
It’s a lot of mixed emotions
666
00:26:29,338 --> 00:26:30,628
bringing Jasmina
to my old neighborhood
667
00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:32,764
’cause I haven’t even
been here myself
668
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:36,141
over a decade,
when my mother passed away.
669
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:38,930
- It’s this one right here?
- Yeah.
670
00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:40,394
It’s the little gray house.
671
00:26:40,474 --> 00:26:42,274
It was green
when we lived there.
672
00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:43,851
♪ ♪
673
00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,097
So I’m a little anxious.
674
00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:46,767
I’m not sure
how I’m gonna feel
675
00:26:46,855 --> 00:26:49,145
being in my old neighborhood.
676
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:51,034
Remember, I told you this.
The last time my mom
677
00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:52,361
tried to give me,
like, a spanking,
678
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:53,856
she hurt herself
in the process,
679
00:26:53,987 --> 00:26:55,447
and we looked at each other
and just laughed,
680
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:57,161
like, all right,
I’ve outgrown that.
681
00:26:57,282 --> 00:26:58,912
It was in that house.
- In that house.
682
00:26:58,992 --> 00:27:00,742
[laughs]
- It was in that house.
683
00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,328
Hindsight, looking at it,
like, between 14 and 18
684
00:27:03,413 --> 00:27:06,923
was a lot of like,
joyous, happy,
685
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,590
loving times.
686
00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:11,630
It feels good to be here.
I thought it’d be a lot more
687
00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:14,263
emotional for some reason,
but...
688
00:27:14,341 --> 00:27:16,471
It’s a lot of happy moments
in this house,
689
00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:18,472
on this street in general.
690
00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:20,814
- Was gonna say it’s good
that you can just pull up
691
00:27:20,889 --> 00:27:23,139
and your first thoughts
are, like, nice ones.
692
00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:25,145
- Yeah.
693
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:27,147
My past and my upbringing
has made me someone
694
00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:28,649
who, you know,
deals with things
695
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:30,650
and goes through life kind of
696
00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:33,322
as a lone wolf, I would say.
697
00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:35,992
I’m gonna take you
to the park that I went to
698
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:38,161
that’s, like,
right around the corner.
699
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,660
But means a lot to me
to have my wife, Jasmina,
700
00:27:40,742 --> 00:27:42,162
by my side right now because,
701
00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:43,334
even though
it is uncomfortable
702
00:27:43,412 --> 00:27:45,412
for me to open up,
I know it’s for the better,
703
00:27:45,539 --> 00:27:48,829
and I’m not
running away from it.
704
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:51,087
I feel like doing a lap
for old times’ sake.
705
00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,841
- I’ll be right here
watching you.
706
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,671
- [chuckles]
707
00:27:54,756 --> 00:27:56,876
- Whoo!
708
00:27:57,926 --> 00:28:00,466
- I brought you
to this park because
709
00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:02,354
me and my brother
always used to get up here
710
00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:04,891
every single day
in the summertime.
711
00:28:04,975 --> 00:28:06,355
7:00 a. m.
712
00:28:06,435 --> 00:28:07,565
Faithfully.
713
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,226
And at the time,
it was annoying.
714
00:28:09,313 --> 00:28:10,063
At the time,
we were just like,
715
00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:11,437
"Yo, why is he bothering me?"
716
00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:14,945
Now that I think about it,
I feel like I needed that.
717
00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:16,398
♪ ♪
718
00:28:16,528 --> 00:28:18,358
- Did your mom ever
come out to the park?
719
00:28:18,447 --> 00:28:21,317
- Mm...
720
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:23,538
No, but I remember us
talking about, like,
721
00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:26,079
when she see me and my brother
working out all the time,
722
00:28:26,163 --> 00:28:28,503
we always talked about,
like, her coming with us
723
00:28:28,582 --> 00:28:31,712
one of these days and just
walk in the park with us.
724
00:28:31,793 --> 00:28:34,053
Kind of wish we did, though.
- Yeah.
725
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,459
- Hindsight.
726
00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:40,469
♪ ♪
727
00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:43,104
So without further ado...
728
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:48,355
"Dear younger Mike.
729
00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:50,435
"Life is not going
to be full of laughter
730
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,810
"and smiles all the time,
and that’s okay.
731
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:54,070
You’ll be okay."
732
00:28:54,149 --> 00:28:55,399
♪ ♪
733
00:28:55,484 --> 00:28:58,364
"But here’s a bit of advice
to help you along your journey.
734
00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:01,025
"Don’t be afraid
of letting your emotions out
735
00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:03,124
"during these tough times.
736
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:06,242
"You don’t have to go
through any of this alone.
737
00:29:06,328 --> 00:29:08,828
"Voicing your feelings
does not make you weak.
738
00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:11,956
"Showing emotions does not
make you any less strong.
739
00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:14,002
"There’s beauty
in resilience.
740
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:16,757
Let people in
and see that part of you."
741
00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:18,588
♪ ♪
742
00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:22,054
"I’m not sure how else
to tell you this, but...
743
00:29:22,135 --> 00:29:24,385
"hold your mom
a little tighter.
744
00:29:24,471 --> 00:29:26,681
"Appreciate her
a little more.
745
00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:29,387
"When she brings up things
like going to church with her,
746
00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:30,936
"go.
747
00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:33,189
"Don’t pout.
Don’t complain.
748
00:29:33,313 --> 00:29:35,153
"Just go.
749
00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:37,614
"Spend more time with her.
750
00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:39,783
♪ ♪
751
00:29:39,861 --> 00:29:42,781
"She’ll beat cancer
the first time.
752
00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:45,624
"And you guys will both dance,
jump up and down,
753
00:29:45,701 --> 00:29:47,621
"when she does.
754
00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:49,333
"But when it comes back
the second time,
755
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,373
"it’s here to stay.
756
00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:53,328
♪ ♪
757
00:29:53,417 --> 00:29:55,337
"Cherish these
last few moments.
758
00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,840
"You’ll regret it if you don’t.
759
00:30:00,090 --> 00:30:01,550
"I know all that I’m saying
760
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:03,685
"sounds like your life
is full of hardship.
761
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:04,680
"It isn’t.
762
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:06,683
"Continue on the path
that you’re on.
763
00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:08,313
"You’ll be okay.
764
00:30:08,390 --> 00:30:10,100
"Actually,
you’ll be better than okay.
765
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,813
You’ll thrive."
766
00:30:11,893 --> 00:30:14,773
♪ ♪
767
00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:17,155
- That was beautiful.
- Thanks.
768
00:30:17,232 --> 00:30:18,652
♪ ♪
769
00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:21,194
- The growth from
when I first met you
770
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,358
to now is just beautiful.
771
00:30:23,447 --> 00:30:24,817
- Yeah.
772
00:30:24,906 --> 00:30:25,986
’Cause I remember
in Puerto Rico,
773
00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:26,994
I was just like, "Nah,
774
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:28,325
"we’re not talking
about certain [bleep].
775
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:29,660
Just not happening."
776
00:30:29,745 --> 00:30:32,545
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
777
00:30:32,622 --> 00:30:34,962
You know, that level
of vulnerability
778
00:30:35,042 --> 00:30:36,842
that I built with Jasmina,
779
00:30:36,918 --> 00:30:39,338
putting all your feelings,
780
00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:42,091
all your insecurities,
everything out on the table,
781
00:30:42,215 --> 00:30:44,255
and knowing that
she’s not going to judge me
782
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:46,804
for whatever I say, or for
whatever emotions come out.
783
00:30:46,887 --> 00:30:50,007
I just hope that can only
make the romantic part
784
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:53,018
of the relationship grow
before Decision Day.
785
00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:55,231
♪ ♪
786
00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:56,984
I mentioned in my letter, like,
787
00:30:57,064 --> 00:31:00,194
being more present,
cherishing moments.
788
00:31:00,275 --> 00:31:04,355
And that’s obviously something
that me and you have to do,
789
00:31:04,446 --> 00:31:07,526
because we’ve made
a lot of progress together,
790
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,026
but we still have
things that we need
791
00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:12,538
to figure out,
being so close to Decision Day.
792
00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:13,911
♪ ♪
793
00:31:13,997 --> 00:31:15,367
- ♪ Back in love ♪
794
00:31:15,457 --> 00:31:21,917
♪ Back in love with you ♪
795
00:31:22,047 --> 00:31:24,087
♪ ♪
796
00:31:24,216 --> 00:31:26,336
- ♪ I just wanna make you
happy ♪
797
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:30,046
♪ I just wanna make you
feel good ♪
798
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:34,348
♪ Even if for only
just one day ♪
799
00:31:34,434 --> 00:31:36,024
♪ ♪
800
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,313
- So this is it, huh?
801
00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:38,687
- This is it.
802
00:31:38,772 --> 00:31:40,022
♪ ♪
803
00:31:40,107 --> 00:31:41,897
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi.
804
00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:44,403
- Welcome!
[laughs]
805
00:31:44,486 --> 00:31:46,736
- Thanks for having us over.
I missed you guys.
806
00:31:46,822 --> 00:31:48,702
- It’s pretty significant
to bring my wife
807
00:31:48,782 --> 00:31:50,452
to my childhood home
808
00:31:50,534 --> 00:31:53,124
because, I mean,
we always lived here,
809
00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:55,163
so there’s
a lot of history here
810
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:58,038
between family parties,
us growing up as children,
811
00:31:58,125 --> 00:32:00,345
us coming back now,
you know,
812
00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:02,340
bringing my nieces
and nephews back around.
813
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:07,302
So you know, it’s a huge,
important place in my life.
814
00:32:07,426 --> 00:32:09,466
And this is the backyard.
815
00:32:09,553 --> 00:32:11,223
One kind of cool feature
is that we have,
816
00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:13,644
like, a back driveway here
and a front driveway.
817
00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:15,555
- Oh, nice.
- So like, yeah, we--
818
00:32:15,642 --> 00:32:17,022
- That’s how the kids
would escape at night,
819
00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:18,564
you know, when the--
[all laugh]
820
00:32:18,645 --> 00:32:19,805
When we’re sleeping,
they’d be like,
821
00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:21,058
"Oh, let’s snea--"
822
00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:22,148
- They would run out the back.
823
00:32:22,232 --> 00:32:23,402
- We had this one trick
where we would throw
824
00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:26,403
the car in neutral,
so you didn’t start it.
825
00:32:26,486 --> 00:32:27,646
- [laughing] Roll it down.
- And roll it down
826
00:32:27,737 --> 00:32:30,237
the driveway, and then start it
once you got halfway
827
00:32:30,323 --> 00:32:31,573
down the street.
- That was a game you played?
828
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:32,578
- That wasn’t a game.
829
00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:33,989
It was a way to get out
without me--
830
00:32:34,119 --> 00:32:36,999
- Without waking anyone up.
- Oh.
831
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,580
- We heard you, but...
[laughs]
832
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,875
- And just to give you
a bit of Waltham history.
833
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:44,502
There were some epic parties
thrown in this basement.
834
00:32:44,588 --> 00:32:45,708
- Really?
- Yeah.
835
00:32:45,839 --> 00:32:48,339
- You guys are pretty popular.
- My name rings bells
836
00:32:48,425 --> 00:32:50,135
around the city.
[all laugh]
837
00:32:50,218 --> 00:32:53,098
You know, ask an old Walthamite
about what happened here.
838
00:32:53,180 --> 00:32:55,010
They’ll tell you a few stories.
- Yep.
839
00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:56,768
- Can’t wait to hear about it.
840
00:32:56,850 --> 00:33:01,190
♪ ♪
841
00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:04,903
- This is the room
that me, Jeff, and Dan
842
00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:06,945
all lived in as children.
843
00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:08,607
- You guys
all lived in this room?
844
00:33:08,695 --> 00:33:10,605
- Yeah, there was
a bunk bed over there.
845
00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:12,737
And then there
was another bed here.
846
00:33:12,866 --> 00:33:16,036
- I can’t believe, like,
three boys grew up in here.
847
00:33:16,161 --> 00:33:18,161
- Yeah, Jenny lucked out
’cause she was the only girl,
848
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:21,536
so she had her own bedroom,
and we all shared this one.
849
00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:23,836
I mean, now you can see
it’s completely made
850
00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:25,209
for the, you know...
851
00:33:25,295 --> 00:33:26,885
- The grandkids.
- The grandkids, yeah.
852
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:28,973
- There are so many
toys and diapers.
853
00:33:29,049 --> 00:33:30,759
- Yeah, this was actually--
854
00:33:30,884 --> 00:33:32,304
I don’t know
if it was my first,
855
00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:33,385
but it was my main--
- That’s yours?
856
00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:35,470
- Yeah, this was
my main stuffed animal,
857
00:33:35,555 --> 00:33:37,715
Sparky. Yeah.
- So cute.
858
00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:39,229
I mean, he’s, like, 38,
859
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:40,981
That’s a long time
to have a stuffed animal.
860
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:42,481
- Probably
should bring him with me,
861
00:33:42,562 --> 00:33:44,902
but he’s probably safer here.
862
00:33:44,981 --> 00:33:47,821
- [laughing] So--
but it’s very sweet.
863
00:33:47,901 --> 00:33:49,441
I’m, like,
imagining him as a kid
864
00:33:49,569 --> 00:33:52,739
running around the house
with little Sparky.
865
00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:54,914
Now it’s replaced
with little Sushi.
866
00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:56,533
[laughs]
867
00:33:56,618 --> 00:33:58,238
What year did you graduate
high school?
868
00:33:58,328 --> 00:34:00,748
- 2001.
- 2001.
869
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,082
Oh, I didn’t play lacrosse this
year ’cause I broke my hand.
870
00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,918
- That’s right.
871
00:34:05,001 --> 00:34:08,091
- Superlatives, here we go.
- [laughs]
872
00:34:08,213 --> 00:34:09,843
- Oh, were you voted best...
873
00:34:09,923 --> 00:34:12,133
dancer?
874
00:34:12,259 --> 00:34:13,469
What?
875
00:34:13,593 --> 00:34:16,433
- 2001.
- How am I not surprised?
876
00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:18,265
- Oh, you shouldn’t
be surprised.
877
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:21,180
Nothing should surprise you.
[both laugh]
878
00:34:21,268 --> 00:34:24,058
- So were you pretty popular
in high school?
879
00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:25,605
- Oh, yeah, I think so.
880
00:34:25,730 --> 00:34:27,900
I got along with everyone.
- Oh.
881
00:34:27,983 --> 00:34:30,113
Since we just came
into each other’s lives,
882
00:34:30,235 --> 00:34:32,705
you know, we don’t have
a really good understanding
883
00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:35,359
of what, you know,
our lives have been like
884
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:37,198
leading up to this point.
885
00:34:37,284 --> 00:34:41,584
So visiting the childhood home
of my husband--
886
00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:43,503
it gives me
a really good sense
887
00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:45,833
of him as a full person.
888
00:34:45,959 --> 00:34:48,209
And, I mean,
it’s all new information,
889
00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:51,385
so it’s, like, really,
like, cool to hear about it.
890
00:34:52,632 --> 00:34:54,882
- So I think
I told you the story.
891
00:34:54,968 --> 00:34:56,048
I had a friend, Ryan.
892
00:34:56,136 --> 00:34:57,386
We used to just sit
in the basement all day long,
893
00:34:57,470 --> 00:34:58,470
just making beats.
894
00:34:58,555 --> 00:35:00,475
We made, like,
I want to say, like, you know,
895
00:35:00,557 --> 00:35:03,057
somewhere between
15 and 20 songs for the album.
896
00:35:03,143 --> 00:35:05,353
So this song is called
"Get Down."
897
00:35:05,478 --> 00:35:06,398
- Oh, my gosh.
898
00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:08,649
[bombastic
electronic music plays]
899
00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:11,232
- "Get Down" was a hit
in our home town.
900
00:35:11,318 --> 00:35:12,738
♪ ♪
901
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:14,779
- ♪ Massive ♪
- ♪ Get down ♪
902
00:35:14,863 --> 00:35:16,533
- Oh, I haven’t heard this
in such a long time.
903
00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:18,566
I’m so excited.
[laughs]
904
00:35:18,658 --> 00:35:21,198
- So the CD basically--
you know, it just circulated.
905
00:35:21,328 --> 00:35:24,288
And this is before streaming
and before anything like that.
906
00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,922
We had burnt CDs
that we would sell.
907
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,790
And yeah, I mean,
you know,
908
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:30,667
you would hear it in cars
around the city.
909
00:35:30,754 --> 00:35:32,174
- I like it.
910
00:35:38,511 --> 00:35:41,181
- This is you?
Oh, God.
911
00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:51,073
- I mean, it sounds like
something that you would hear
912
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:52,441
on the radio.
It was awesome.
913
00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:56,855
♪ ♪
914
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,790
- I never imagined
a situation where
915
00:36:04,871 --> 00:36:06,711
I’d be playing this
for my wife.
916
00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,081
So yeah.
917
00:36:08,208 --> 00:36:09,208
[laughs]
918
00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:10,542
- ♪ Doing it
in the left coast ♪
919
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:12,299
♪ Shout out to my boy
Mike Prophet ♪
920
00:36:12,379 --> 00:36:14,959
[laughter]
921
00:36:15,048 --> 00:36:17,008
- Yay, that was so good.
922
00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:18,222
Oh, my gosh.
- There it is.
923
00:36:18,301 --> 00:36:21,551
- It seems like he had
a pretty wonderful childhood.
924
00:36:21,638 --> 00:36:23,428
You know,
he was always surrounded
925
00:36:23,556 --> 00:36:25,556
by family,
and they were all supportive,
926
00:36:25,684 --> 00:36:27,734
and he always had
a ton of friends.
927
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,982
But I feel like, because
I had such a rough childhood,
928
00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:33,824
it’s made me
a little bit tougher,
929
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:37,240
um, has made me, you know,
930
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,570
probably grow up
in a faster way.
931
00:36:39,656 --> 00:36:43,076
So I just hope
that he understands
932
00:36:43,159 --> 00:36:45,329
how wonderful he’s had it.
933
00:36:45,412 --> 00:36:47,002
I can’t believe
I married a rapper.
934
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:48,830
- [laughs]
- You married a rapper.
935
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:50,165
- ♪ Y’all not as fly as me ♪
936
00:36:50,250 --> 00:36:52,500
♪ Why you keep tryin’ me,
I built this dynasty ♪
937
00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:59,585
♪ ♪
938
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:06,467
- ♪ I feel the love ♪
939
00:37:06,599 --> 00:37:10,769
♪ I feel the love ♪
940
00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:13,685
♪ ♪
941
00:37:13,773 --> 00:37:16,033
- I’m taking baby JC
to the vet...
942
00:37:16,109 --> 00:37:17,989
to get that eye checked out.
943
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,701
Aw.
944
00:37:21,114 --> 00:37:23,204
Dad’s having a hard time.
945
00:37:23,283 --> 00:37:25,663
JC’s 14 years old.
946
00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:27,285
What a good boy.
947
00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:34,462
♪ ♪
948
00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:37,263
- So here we are today
at the veterinary place,
949
00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:39,378
emergency vet in Boston.
950
00:37:39,466 --> 00:37:41,796
I brought JC.
He had a sore in his eye.
951
00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:44,216
He’s got two on his back,
and I found two more
952
00:37:44,304 --> 00:37:46,894
this morning and last night,
so I brought him right in,
953
00:37:46,973 --> 00:37:50,273
’cause I just don’t want
to keep him in pain.
954
00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:54,151
If he’s in--if he’s in pain,
955
00:37:54,230 --> 00:37:56,110
so I want him to get looked at
right away
956
00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:58,731
to make a decision
on what’s the best for him.
957
00:37:58,818 --> 00:38:02,818
I got JC in 2007
and he was only six weeks old.
958
00:38:02,947 --> 00:38:05,237
He’s been with me
since I started
959
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:08,745
my first job
in the gym industry.
960
00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:14,878
He has been there through when
my dad died, many apartments,
961
00:38:15,001 --> 00:38:18,091
and he made it all the way
to my wedding.
962
00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:25,181
♪ ♪
963
00:38:33,770 --> 00:38:36,060
It’s, uh...
964
00:38:36,189 --> 00:38:38,519
I think of just how nice
it is to have, like,
965
00:38:38,608 --> 00:38:41,938
a friend that you can...
966
00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:43,948
♪ ♪
967
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:46,120
You’ve done
so many things with.
968
00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:53,209
♪ ♪
969
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:56,210
- Come here, baby JC.
970
00:38:56,334 --> 00:39:01,174
♪ ♪
971
00:39:01,256 --> 00:39:03,666
Oh, my God, he’s purring.
972
00:39:03,758 --> 00:39:10,508
♪ ♪
973
00:39:10,598 --> 00:39:12,138
What’s up, baby?
974
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:15,945
♪ ♪
975
00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:17,812
- The X-rays.
976
00:39:17,897 --> 00:39:20,727
Um, she saw one of them...
[sniffles]
977
00:39:20,817 --> 00:39:24,277
One of them looked like there
was some stuff on his lungs
978
00:39:24,404 --> 00:39:27,164
that will spread.
979
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:29,990
- They didn’t see it last time?
980
00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:31,656
- Yeah.
981
00:39:31,744 --> 00:39:33,954
♪ ♪
982
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,000
So, uh...
[sniffling]
983
00:39:37,083 --> 00:39:39,593
She was like, you know,
if it was--
984
00:39:39,669 --> 00:39:42,919
"If it was my cat..."
985
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:45,587
She was like, you know,
to probably just--you know,
986
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:48,185
"What’s his quality of life
gonna be?"
987
00:39:48,261 --> 00:39:49,761
[sighs]
988
00:39:49,888 --> 00:39:53,348
So if it’s on his lungs,
and it’s gonna spread,
989
00:39:53,433 --> 00:39:57,563
even if he’s okay, right today,
it’s gonna get worse.
990
00:39:57,645 --> 00:39:59,515
Then he’s gonna be
in real pain, sitting there,
991
00:39:59,606 --> 00:40:02,016
even worse, and not eating.
992
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:03,858
So I think it’s probably
993
00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:06,953
in his best interest
to say goodbye.
994
00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:13,951
♪ ♪
995
00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:16,657
- You’re a good cat dad.
996
00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:20,289
- ♪ I can’t help
but traveling down ♪
997
00:40:20,418 --> 00:40:23,798
♪ Memory lane ♪
998
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:27,302
- I’m glad Lindsey’s here
to be supportive of me.
999
00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:29,925
And...
1000
00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:32,051
it’s one of those events that
1001
00:40:32,138 --> 00:40:34,348
when a couple
goes through a tragedy,
1002
00:40:34,474 --> 00:40:37,774
it can really--
can really shapen them,
1003
00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:38,892
their bond.
1004
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:43,768
So I’m glad that
we went through this together.
1005
00:40:43,858 --> 00:40:46,068
It’s one of those things
that I won’t forget.
1006
00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:48,152
- ♪ Goodbye ♪
1007
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:51,869
♪ Goodbye, my friend ♪
1008
00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:54,661
- Let’s go.
- Okay.
1009
00:40:58,915 --> 00:41:00,625
- ♪ Ain’t nobody ♪
1010
00:41:00,708 --> 00:41:02,668
♪ Gonna love you like I do ♪
1011
00:41:02,794 --> 00:41:05,344
♪ Ain’t nobody ♪
1012
00:41:05,421 --> 00:41:08,341
♪ Gonna show you
the things I’ve showed you ♪
1013
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:10,506
- You ready to pray with me?
[laughs]
1014
00:41:10,593 --> 00:41:12,893
- I’m right here, baby.
1015
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:14,512
I love the art on the windows.
1016
00:41:14,639 --> 00:41:16,469
- Come sit, so we can talk.
1017
00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:19,187
♪ ♪
1018
00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:24,108
The reason why
I brought you to church
1019
00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:26,030
is because, when I was younger,
1020
00:41:26,150 --> 00:41:28,190
I, like, grew up in church,
even though it was only for,
1021
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:30,859
like, two hours,
every Sunday, I had fun.
1022
00:41:30,947 --> 00:41:33,027
Like, that’s where I got
my first best friend, Imani,
1023
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:34,527
the one who was a bridesmaid.
1024
00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:35,527
- Church here?
1025
00:41:35,618 --> 00:41:36,698
- Yeah, met her at church.
1026
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:38,618
- Oh.
- My mom forced me to do
1027
00:41:38,705 --> 00:41:39,755
a purity ring class.
1028
00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:42,172
You know what that is?
1029
00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:44,040
- Mm-mm.
1030
00:41:44,127 --> 00:41:45,707
- It’s when you won’t have sex
before you’re married.
1031
00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:47,457
[music winds down]
1032
00:41:47,547 --> 00:41:49,717
[chuckles]
1033
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,051
- [chuckles]
1034
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,175
- I think I was, like, ten.
1035
00:41:52,260 --> 00:41:53,550
And I was like,
"I don’t want to do that."
1036
00:41:53,678 --> 00:41:55,548
I always knew I wasn’t
gonna wait that long.
1037
00:41:55,638 --> 00:41:57,308
[laughs]
1038
00:41:57,390 --> 00:41:59,770
But, like, when I think
back to my childhood,
1039
00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:01,772
that was, like, one of
the funnest times that I had
1040
00:42:01,894 --> 00:42:03,024
’cause I had my friend there.
1041
00:42:03,104 --> 00:42:04,234
It was, like, kind of, like,
1042
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,225
I guess an escape, I guess?
1043
00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:07,685
- Your whole family used to go,
or just--
1044
00:42:07,775 --> 00:42:08,605
- Yeah.
When I was young,
1045
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:10,075
my grandmother
used to live with us.
1046
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:13,074
So it would be me,
1047
00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:15,567
my grandmother, and then
all--all my brothers.
1048
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,580
So we had to go to church.
We couldn’t miss it.
1049
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:18,912
- Damn.
- Yeah.
1050
00:42:19,037 --> 00:42:20,197
[chuckles]
- My dad was like that, too.
1051
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:23,998
When I was being raised,
my dad wasn’t there every day.
1052
00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:25,083
- Mm-hmm.
- But he would come
1053
00:42:25,168 --> 00:42:28,248
every Sunday on the beat.
1054
00:42:28,337 --> 00:42:30,257
- Come get you guys?
- Come get us and, like,
1055
00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:34,091
would sit through
one, like, session, and then
1056
00:42:34,218 --> 00:42:35,428
he was like, "Hey,
we’re gonna do another one."
1057
00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:36,473
- Mm.
1058
00:42:36,596 --> 00:42:37,466
And then she--after,
1059
00:42:37,597 --> 00:42:39,597
we would always
go get donuts after.
1060
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,604
- My dad would make us
go get cheeseburgers.
1061
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,436
- Oh, he--he was giving
you cheeseburgers?
1062
00:42:43,519 --> 00:42:44,729
- Yeah, he did.
- It’s like, I don’t know.
1063
00:42:44,812 --> 00:42:46,562
Maybe that was like their way
of being, like, "All right."
1064
00:42:46,647 --> 00:42:47,607
- "You did it."
- Yeah.
1065
00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:48,442
[chuckles]
1066
00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:50,436
It wasn’t until as I started,
1067
00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:52,276
like, growing more
into my youth,
1068
00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:55,203
I saw different, like,
prayers being answered.
1069
00:42:55,281 --> 00:42:56,321
And, like, I always believed,
1070
00:42:56,449 --> 00:42:58,949
but it was like, you know,
someone’s showing you.
1071
00:42:59,077 --> 00:43:01,617
And I mentioned it
when we first got married,
1072
00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,164
but when I was going
through this process,
1073
00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:05,119
I found out my mom
had breast cancer.
1074
00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:06,289
♪ ♪
1075
00:43:06,375 --> 00:43:07,455
I’m the type of person--
1076
00:43:07,585 --> 00:43:09,295
I just think, like, positive.
1077
00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:12,590
So I knew that they
found it early enough.
1078
00:43:12,673 --> 00:43:16,683
So I just had confidence in God
that he wouldn’t--
1079
00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:18,853
this is for whatever reason,
for whatever reason
1080
00:43:18,971 --> 00:43:21,311
my mom got this,
he’s not gonna use it
1081
00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:23,312
to, like,
take her off the Earth.
1082
00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:25,602
- No.
- Like, she will be fine.
1083
00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:28,306
So I just put that in my mind
that she would be fine.
1084
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:30,147
And of course,
I prayed for her.
1085
00:43:30,233 --> 00:43:32,033
I pray--I pray
every single day.
1086
00:43:32,151 --> 00:43:34,741
And I think that’s why I have,
like, so much peace
1087
00:43:34,821 --> 00:43:36,281
in my life.
1088
00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:38,324
So just ’cause, like,
I’m always--
1089
00:43:38,407 --> 00:43:41,987
I include him like he’s
my friend every single day.
1090
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:43,950
- It was touching to hear
about her mom,
1091
00:43:44,038 --> 00:43:45,998
because both my mom
and Katina’s mom
1092
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,424
went through breast cancer.
1093
00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:49,460
And they both are on recovery.
1094
00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:51,674
So I can see why
Katina goes to church.
1095
00:43:51,796 --> 00:43:52,666
That’s her way to feel like
1096
00:43:52,797 --> 00:43:54,667
she’s being heard,
she never feels alone.
1097
00:43:54,799 --> 00:43:57,639
So would you raise your child--
your children in a church?
1098
00:43:57,718 --> 00:43:59,048
- Yes, 100%.
- Yeah.
1099
00:43:59,178 --> 00:44:00,258
- ’Cause I feel like,
1100
00:44:00,346 --> 00:44:02,966
you know, you should plant
the seed in your children.
1101
00:44:03,057 --> 00:44:06,347
And then, when they get to
a age, they can decide.
1102
00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:09,057
- Yeah, and it just puts
a little thought in their mind,
1103
00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:11,438
like, hey, if you ever
feel like you’re lonely
1104
00:44:11,524 --> 00:44:13,484
and you cannot go to anybody,
1105
00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:16,028
you--there’s always
somebody there you could go to.
1106
00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:18,534
- Mm-hmm.
- Even if it’s not physical,
1107
00:44:18,614 --> 00:44:20,574
but there is somebody
you could rely on.
1108
00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:22,120
It’s a blessing.
1109
00:44:22,201 --> 00:44:23,791
- Yeah.
- So, absolutely like that.
1110
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:24,910
- Phew, I’m glad
we’re on the same page.
1111
00:44:25,037 --> 00:44:25,947
- Yeah, I like that.
1112
00:44:26,038 --> 00:44:28,208
- [laughs]
- That’s huge. That’s huge.
1113
00:44:28,332 --> 00:44:35,382
♪ ♪
1114
00:44:40,386 --> 00:44:41,546
- Hello.
1115
00:44:41,637 --> 00:44:43,257
- Hi!
- Hi, I’m Noi.
1116
00:44:43,389 --> 00:44:44,259
- I’m Aly.
Nice to meet you.
1117
00:44:44,390 --> 00:44:45,100
- Nice to meet you, Aly.
1118
00:44:45,224 --> 00:44:46,774
- Steve.
- Aly, nice to meet you.
1119
00:44:46,893 --> 00:44:47,853
- Nice to meet you, Aly.
1120
00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:49,055
- You guys ready to dance?
1121
00:44:49,187 --> 00:44:50,017
- Yeah, I think so.
1122
00:44:50,104 --> 00:44:51,734
- Well,
we’re gonna have fun today.
1123
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:52,896
It’s gonna be cool, no worries.
1124
00:44:53,024 --> 00:44:54,364
I’m gonna just jump right in.
1125
00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:56,402
- Okay, awesome.
1126
00:44:56,485 --> 00:44:58,195
When I think
about my childhood, like,
1127
00:44:58,279 --> 00:45:00,739
my favorite memories
are usually of me, like,
1128
00:45:00,823 --> 00:45:02,743
just dancing
and having fun.
1129
00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:05,407
- Step one, two, three, four.
1130
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:08,616
- Growing up, my parents
were so stressed out,
1131
00:45:08,748 --> 00:45:10,038
and they worked all the time.
1132
00:45:10,124 --> 00:45:12,674
And we were not encouraged
1133
00:45:12,752 --> 00:45:14,422
to express ourselves
as children.
1134
00:45:14,545 --> 00:45:18,875
So dancing let me let go
and be free and get lost
1135
00:45:18,966 --> 00:45:20,586
in the movement
and the music.
1136
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:23,888
So I’m excited to do this
with my husband.
1137
00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:25,261
And hopefully,
he’ll enjoy it, too.
1138
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,309
- Okay.
1139
00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:28,392
- Ready?
- Think so.
1140
00:45:28,476 --> 00:45:30,306
♪ ♪
1141
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:32,726
- ♪ La-la, make you move ♪
1142
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:35,023
♪ Let’s start talking ♪
1143
00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:37,107
♪ ’Cause I know
what you’re feeling ♪
1144
00:45:37,235 --> 00:45:39,995
♪ Saying our hearts
are rocking ♪
1145
00:45:40,112 --> 00:45:42,112
♪ In sync with the beat,
so insane ♪
1146
00:45:42,198 --> 00:45:44,448
- I feel like Steve is doing
so good.
1147
00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:45,615
I’m so impressed.
1148
00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:47,793
His face is so stern,
1149
00:45:47,912 --> 00:45:49,082
and he’s so serious,
and he’s hitting it.
1150
00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:50,333
You know, it’s just like,
1151
00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:53,746
"Whoa, my husband is, like,
really serious about this!"
1152
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:56,464
- ♪ I don’t want to be
the one waiting on you ♪
1153
00:45:56,587 --> 00:45:58,627
♪ Go ahead and make them,
make ’em, make ’em move ♪
1154
00:45:58,756 --> 00:46:00,586
- [laughing]
1155
00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:02,475
Steve’s having better luck
with the moves,
1156
00:46:02,593 --> 00:46:04,853
but I’m definitely having
more fun, I think.
1157
00:46:04,971 --> 00:46:06,471
- ♪ Got nothing to lose ♪
1158
00:46:06,555 --> 00:46:10,265
♪ La-la, make you move ♪
1159
00:46:10,351 --> 00:46:11,561
- Yay!
1160
00:46:11,644 --> 00:46:13,154
I think Noi’s bringing me here
1161
00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:15,479
because music is
such a big part of her life.
1162
00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:16,436
- That was so fun.
Thank you.
1163
00:46:16,524 --> 00:46:17,654
- Thank you.
- You’re very welcome.
1164
00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:19,025
- That was awesome.
1165
00:46:19,151 --> 00:46:20,571
Whew, I got a workout in.
1166
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:21,783
- You watch
her social media story,
1167
00:46:21,862 --> 00:46:24,912
she’s always doing some type
of singing and dancing.
1168
00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:26,451
So yeah, I think
it’s an important aspect
1169
00:46:26,534 --> 00:46:27,664
of who she is.
1170
00:46:27,743 --> 00:46:29,833
I think we have a lot
in common in that respect,
1171
00:46:29,912 --> 00:46:32,002
that we
can take life seriously,
1172
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:35,083
but at the same time,
joke around and dance around,
1173
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:37,337
you know,
just enjoy the moment.
1174
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:38,671
♪ ♪
1175
00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:39,506
I feel like we need--we need,
1176
00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:40,670
like, five more runs.
- Yeah.
1177
00:46:40,798 --> 00:46:41,838
- And then I’ll feel
like we’ll tighten it up.
1178
00:46:41,966 --> 00:46:43,466
- When I was a kid,
we had, like,
1179
00:46:43,551 --> 00:46:45,511
mirrors in our basement,
actually.
1180
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:47,386
- Really?
- Just like this.
1181
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:48,513
- You had a dance studio
in your basement?
1182
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:50,719
- Yeah, so I would just,
like, play all, like,
1183
00:46:50,850 --> 00:46:52,850
my pop music and, like, dance.
1184
00:46:52,977 --> 00:46:54,347
It was really fun.
I used to pretend
1185
00:46:54,478 --> 00:46:56,858
I was, like, a singer.
[chuckling]
1186
00:46:56,981 --> 00:46:58,361
I mean,
I still do that, honestly.
1187
00:46:58,482 --> 00:46:59,362
- Yeah, every time I--
1188
00:46:59,483 --> 00:47:00,693
- I think you’ve caught me
doing that.
1189
00:47:00,776 --> 00:47:02,026
- Every time I walk into
the bathroom, you’re like...
1190
00:47:02,153 --> 00:47:03,203
[chuckling]
Like, I know what you’re doing.
1191
00:47:03,279 --> 00:47:04,859
- It’s like,
"I wasn’t dancing."
1192
00:47:04,989 --> 00:47:07,199
[laughter]
1193
00:47:07,325 --> 00:47:10,045
The reason why music
is so important to me
1194
00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:13,871
now and when I was growing
up is because, like,
1195
00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:17,536
we weren’t encouraged
to really express our anger
1196
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:20,996
or, like, when we were
emotional or upset.
1197
00:47:21,088 --> 00:47:23,548
That just wasn’t acceptable
in our household.
1198
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:25,724
So I think for me,
1199
00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,933
it was a really good
emotional release, too.
1200
00:47:28,054 --> 00:47:29,394
Like, sometimes
I would just listen
1201
00:47:29,472 --> 00:47:31,432
to, like,
sad or emotional songs.
1202
00:47:31,557 --> 00:47:34,557
And I’d be like--and all these
emotions would just come out.
1203
00:47:34,685 --> 00:47:37,855
And so it was really kind of
1204
00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:42,898
a therapeutic kind of release
for me, even as a child.
1205
00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:43,775
I don’t know.
1206
00:47:43,903 --> 00:47:46,113
It would just make me
feel better.
1207
00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:49,068
And I think that’s why,
when we’ve had arguments,
1208
00:47:49,158 --> 00:47:52,448
why I had such a hard time
expressing that to you.
1209
00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:54,248
So it wasn’t, you know,
1210
00:47:54,330 --> 00:47:58,250
me making the choice
to not express myself.
1211
00:47:58,376 --> 00:48:02,456
It just wasn’t something
that I had grown up doing,
1212
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,458
so it just didn’t
come natural for me.
1213
00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:06,090
- It is a bit sad to hear that.
1214
00:48:06,175 --> 00:48:08,095
She wasn’t able
to express her emotions.
1215
00:48:08,177 --> 00:48:09,387
But for me, I’ve always
1216
00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:11,430
been allowed the freedom
to create
1217
00:48:11,555 --> 00:48:14,265
and to dream up
things for myself,
1218
00:48:14,350 --> 00:48:16,940
so hopefully can create
an environment
1219
00:48:17,061 --> 00:48:19,771
that she can dream
and picture, you know,
1220
00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:20,937
possible futures
1221
00:48:21,023 --> 00:48:22,983
and give me an understanding
of who she is
1222
00:48:23,109 --> 00:48:24,939
and what she needs.
1223
00:48:25,027 --> 00:48:27,107
- I want you to know that
1224
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:30,448
sometimes, when
I fight with you over things,
1225
00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:32,334
like, social media or whatever,
1226
00:48:32,451 --> 00:48:34,791
it’s not because
I’m not invested,
1227
00:48:34,912 --> 00:48:39,752
but it’s me holding on
to my independence, and--
1228
00:48:39,834 --> 00:48:42,004
not independence
from being married.
1229
00:48:42,128 --> 00:48:45,458
But, like,
just me as an individual.
1230
00:48:45,589 --> 00:48:47,589
- I think, you know,
what it comes down to is,
1231
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:48,845
you know,
it’s nice to hear
1232
00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:52,008
that it’s just a matter of,
you know, taking the things
1233
00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:53,848
I’m saying and taking them
into consideration,
1234
00:48:53,973 --> 00:48:55,313
you know, I mean,
while still feeling
1235
00:48:55,391 --> 00:48:57,481
free enough
to express yourself, right?
1236
00:48:57,560 --> 00:48:59,940
Like, you know,
I’m not trying to
1237
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:03,190
stifle your being
or stop you from, you know,
1238
00:49:03,315 --> 00:49:04,475
expressing who you are.
1239
00:49:04,608 --> 00:49:05,688
You know, you’ve seen
1240
00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:07,818
the considerations I’ve made
for your feelings, right?
1241
00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:11,485
Like, I--I have adjusted things
I wanted to say or do
1242
00:49:11,615 --> 00:49:13,485
or whatever just to make sure
that you’re okay and that
1243
00:49:13,617 --> 00:49:14,987
I wouldn’t do something
to hurt you
1244
00:49:15,077 --> 00:49:16,197
if I know it’s going to
1245
00:49:16,328 --> 00:49:19,328
because I do want to put
your feelings first, you know,
1246
00:49:19,457 --> 00:49:21,247
and I just wanted to feel like
1247
00:49:21,333 --> 00:49:22,673
that I’m getting
the same respect back.
1248
00:49:22,793 --> 00:49:24,343
- ♪ So free ♪
1249
00:49:24,462 --> 00:49:26,342
♪ Yeah, ooh ♪
1250
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,092
♪ And though
I’m not really sure ♪
1251
00:49:28,174 --> 00:49:30,844
♪ What this all might mean ♪
1252
00:49:30,926 --> 00:49:32,506
♪ Yeah, trial by fire ♪
1253
00:49:36,098 --> 00:49:37,518
[upbeat music]
1254
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,230
- ♪ When I was standing
letting go ♪
1255
00:49:40,352 --> 00:49:42,522
♪ What if we tried something
different next time ♪
1256
00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:43,615
[knock on door]
1257
00:49:43,689 --> 00:49:46,979
- You need to go open it.
1258
00:49:47,067 --> 00:49:48,357
- Drumroll, please.
1259
00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:49,856
- [chuckles]
Hi, there.
1260
00:49:49,987 --> 00:49:50,857
- Hello.
1261
00:49:50,946 --> 00:49:53,066
- Michael and I
are definitely excited
1262
00:49:53,199 --> 00:49:54,869
to have this conversation
with Dr. Pepper.
1263
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:56,912
And I think it has
a lot to do with us
1264
00:49:57,036 --> 00:49:58,116
being in a really good place.
1265
00:49:58,204 --> 00:50:01,424
So it feels good to finally
be around an expert
1266
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:03,500
’cause we know that we’ve been
putting in our work
1267
00:50:03,584 --> 00:50:04,754
every single day.
1268
00:50:04,877 --> 00:50:06,037
- Well, that’s pretty.
1269
00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:07,588
- Thank you.
I got them for Mike.
1270
00:50:07,713 --> 00:50:09,013
- Oh, nice!
1271
00:50:09,089 --> 00:50:10,759
- He said women don’t
give men flowers.
1272
00:50:10,883 --> 00:50:12,593
- I give flowers to my guy.
1273
00:50:12,718 --> 00:50:13,588
- Really?
- Yeah, I do.
1274
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,469
- Mike and I
have not had a conflict
1275
00:50:16,555 --> 00:50:17,925
for a very long time,
1276
00:50:18,057 --> 00:50:22,437
so I am very proud of that.
1277
00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:24,151
- It sounds like things
have been pretty good.
1278
00:50:24,230 --> 00:50:26,060
But maybe you want
to tell me
1279
00:50:26,190 --> 00:50:27,820
how it’s been going
and what--
1280
00:50:27,900 --> 00:50:29,780
what has been happening
that has created
1281
00:50:29,902 --> 00:50:32,402
a so much better situation.
1282
00:50:32,530 --> 00:50:34,870
- You know,
the turning point for us was
1283
00:50:34,949 --> 00:50:37,409
when we did
the Dr. Viviana exercise.
1284
00:50:37,493 --> 00:50:40,293
With the lack
of communication,
1285
00:50:40,412 --> 00:50:42,622
I don’t feel that you
1286
00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:44,958
honestly care sometimes.
1287
00:50:45,084 --> 00:50:46,964
- I wish I trust you more.
1288
00:50:47,086 --> 00:50:48,836
Once we have more conversations
1289
00:50:48,921 --> 00:50:50,961
and I don’t feel like
you’re being defensive,
1290
00:50:51,090 --> 00:50:54,300
that would be
a step in the right direction.
1291
00:50:54,426 --> 00:50:56,796
- Since then, we haven’t,
like, had any conflicts
1292
00:50:56,929 --> 00:50:58,929
or, if we felt some type of way
1293
00:50:59,014 --> 00:51:01,484
about something,
we talked it out.
1294
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,060
- I know when we talked,
you talked about
1295
00:51:04,144 --> 00:51:08,324
you need to soften, and you
seem softer to me right now,
1296
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:11,570
you know, in terms of being
open and emotional,
1297
00:51:11,652 --> 00:51:13,452
but that you couldn’t be until
1298
00:51:13,571 --> 00:51:15,321
you felt you knew
who you are with.
1299
00:51:15,447 --> 00:51:16,657
- Mm-hmm.
1300
00:51:16,782 --> 00:51:18,412
- What have you learned
about your husband
1301
00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:19,992
that has made you feel
1302
00:51:20,119 --> 00:51:22,249
like you’re not only
getting along,
1303
00:51:22,329 --> 00:51:24,329
but that you’re
communicating well?
1304
00:51:24,456 --> 00:51:26,286
- I felt like in the beginning,
I had to, like,
1305
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:29,005
pull teeth or always, like, ask
him questions about himself.
1306
00:51:29,128 --> 00:51:30,298
And now, naturally,
1307
00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:33,131
it just comes to just talk
about himself.
1308
00:51:33,257 --> 00:51:36,127
- I had to just push through
that discomfort in order
1309
00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:38,350
for us to have
a chance at staying married.
1310
00:51:38,470 --> 00:51:40,260
- So once he started
1311
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:43,807
to become more vulnerable
and more open,
1312
00:51:43,934 --> 00:51:45,484
I got soft.
[chuckles]
1313
00:51:45,603 --> 00:51:48,693
- Yeah, you did.
1314
00:51:48,814 --> 00:51:50,984
- Let me ask you
a different question.
1315
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:53,688
What do you have
to unlearn from your past?
1316
00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:55,359
- Hmm, that’s a good question.
1317
00:51:55,487 --> 00:51:57,527
♪ ♪
1318
00:51:57,656 --> 00:51:58,906
Growing up,
1319
00:51:58,991 --> 00:52:00,991
I kind of
built a muscle of, like,
1320
00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:03,828
if I’m going through something,
to just handle it on my own.
1321
00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:06,084
We wouldn’t really let people
know how I’m feeling.
1322
00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:07,545
And I think it just came from
1323
00:52:07,666 --> 00:52:09,376
not wanting to burden people,
right?
1324
00:52:09,501 --> 00:52:12,711
But that’s something I’m really
gonna have to unlearn,
1325
00:52:12,838 --> 00:52:14,878
because if I’m with somebody,
1326
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:16,627
and I’m not letting--
letting her know
1327
00:52:16,717 --> 00:52:19,587
what I’m feeling
or what I’ve been through
1328
00:52:19,678 --> 00:52:22,008
or the thoughts that I have,
then we’re not gonna
1329
00:52:22,097 --> 00:52:23,887
be able to grow with each other
’cause she’s not gonna
1330
00:52:24,016 --> 00:52:25,516
ever really get to know me.
1331
00:52:25,601 --> 00:52:26,891
- We do have to be
strong in life.
1332
00:52:27,019 --> 00:52:28,099
Life challenges us.
1333
00:52:28,187 --> 00:52:32,437
But we’ve been told that
we need to be strong alone,
1334
00:52:32,524 --> 00:52:33,904
and that’s not true.
1335
00:52:34,026 --> 00:52:35,686
We’re stronger together.
1336
00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:37,239
- Right, right.
1337
00:52:37,363 --> 00:52:39,413
- Kind of, like, you know,
you have to be tough
1338
00:52:39,531 --> 00:52:42,581
as opposed to open
and vulnerable.
1339
00:52:42,701 --> 00:52:44,581
- Yeah.
- What about you?
1340
00:52:44,703 --> 00:52:46,753
♪ ♪
1341
00:52:46,872 --> 00:52:50,042
- Just piggybacking
off of you said,
1342
00:52:50,125 --> 00:52:52,535
this--me being independent.
1343
00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:54,588
- Can’t steal mine.
- [chuckles]
1344
00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:55,803
I’m not stealing yours.
- It could be true
1345
00:52:55,881 --> 00:52:58,881
for more than one person.
1346
00:52:58,967 --> 00:53:01,597
- But I mean, I was taught
to be independent.
1347
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:05,270
Never, like, depend on a man
to do X, Y, and Z,
1348
00:53:05,391 --> 00:53:07,481
like, you can do it yourself.
1349
00:53:07,559 --> 00:53:09,479
You know, if a man leaves,
who’s going to do it?
1350
00:53:09,561 --> 00:53:11,101
You, you know?
- Right.
1351
00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:13,820
- So what kinds of things
would you
1352
00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:15,819
need to answer that you feel
1353
00:53:15,901 --> 00:53:18,611
is still in play between you
1354
00:53:18,737 --> 00:53:22,737
about feeling not only good
about Decision Day,
1355
00:53:22,866 --> 00:53:24,526
but thereafter as well?
1356
00:53:24,618 --> 00:53:25,618
- Well, we talked about,
1357
00:53:25,744 --> 00:53:27,754
if we were to have kids,
when that would happen.
1358
00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:28,910
- What’d you say?
1359
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:30,249
- We both said
a couple of years.
1360
00:53:30,332 --> 00:53:31,212
- Did we?
1361
00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:34,131
- Two to three-ish.
- Two to three?
1362
00:53:34,253 --> 00:53:35,633
- What’s your number?
1363
00:53:35,754 --> 00:53:36,424
- A year and a half.
1364
00:53:36,547 --> 00:53:37,587
[laughs]
- No, seriously?
1365
00:53:37,715 --> 00:53:39,135
- Yes.
- Oh.
1366
00:53:39,258 --> 00:53:40,798
- I want a lot of children.
1367
00:53:40,926 --> 00:53:42,636
I got to start
pushing ’em out.
1368
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:47,101
- So you want to be trying
in 18 months, or...
1369
00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:48,852
- Yeah, trying.
- Okay.
1370
00:53:48,934 --> 00:53:51,104
It’s a big difference.
- Well, there, you see?
1371
00:53:51,186 --> 00:53:52,646
You know.
1372
00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:54,981
Now, of course,
that brings up another issue
1373
00:53:55,107 --> 00:53:58,147
in terms of
"How are we trying now?"
1374
00:53:58,277 --> 00:53:59,567
[laughs]
I mean, what are we--
1375
00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:03,323
[laughter]
1376
00:54:03,449 --> 00:54:05,119
Or what are we trying?
1377
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:06,990
- We walked
right into that, too.
1378
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:09,619
- Ooh, okay.
1379
00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:15,167
Well, we still aren’t physical
in the sense of, like, kissing.
1380
00:54:15,294 --> 00:54:17,344
- I can see a lot
of intimacy between you.
1381
00:54:17,463 --> 00:54:19,133
You know,
you look at each other.
1382
00:54:19,256 --> 00:54:20,086
You’re reading each other.
1383
00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,474
There seems to be
a great connection.
1384
00:54:22,551 --> 00:54:24,471
You’re talking about
very serious things.
1385
00:54:24,553 --> 00:54:26,143
Why no kissing and touching?
1386
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:28,773
- This is the happiest
I’ve been.
1387
00:54:28,849 --> 00:54:32,519
But in that department,
I’m just not there yet.
1388
00:54:32,644 --> 00:54:33,774
I don’t know if I just
really gotta kiss him
1389
00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:34,814
to see if I’m there yet,
1390
00:54:34,897 --> 00:54:38,857
but I don’t have, like,
the urge to, like,
1391
00:54:38,984 --> 00:54:42,244
just run up and, like,
lay one on him.
1392
00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:43,861
- It’s hard to hear
from somebody that you
1393
00:54:43,989 --> 00:54:45,869
want to be
in a relationship with,
1394
00:54:45,991 --> 00:54:50,161
but there’s nothing I can do
to force romance.
1395
00:54:50,287 --> 00:54:52,327
All I can do is continue
doing the things
1396
00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:54,826
that Jasmina has asked of me
as a husband,
1397
00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:58,707
and the rest is up to her.
1398
00:54:58,837 --> 00:55:01,547
- Well, I would advise you
to start doing some--
1399
00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:03,683
certainly, like, holding hands.
1400
00:55:03,801 --> 00:55:05,341
Do you hold hands at all?
1401
00:55:05,469 --> 00:55:06,639
- Yeah, yeah.
- We’ll randomly hold hands.
1402
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:07,680
You was holding my hand
in my sleep.
1403
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:09,395
I felt that.
- Yeah.
1404
00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:11,065
- Holding hands, cuddling.
1405
00:55:11,183 --> 00:55:13,233
There’s many expressions
of affection
1406
00:55:13,352 --> 00:55:15,312
that you can do genuinely.
1407
00:55:15,395 --> 00:55:16,685
It’d be good for you,
1408
00:55:16,814 --> 00:55:19,904
because here you are,
planning families,
1409
00:55:20,025 --> 00:55:22,105
and I have to tell you
that there’s sex involved.
1410
00:55:22,194 --> 00:55:24,114
[laughter]
1411
00:55:24,196 --> 00:55:26,066
- Yeah, it’s great
that we have this connection.
1412
00:55:26,198 --> 00:55:27,238
It’s great that
we have progressed.
1413
00:55:27,366 --> 00:55:28,696
It’s great that
we can communicate
1414
00:55:28,784 --> 00:55:31,414
with each other now,
but the romance factor
1415
00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:33,077
has to grow.
1416
00:55:33,205 --> 00:55:34,875
’Cause, you know,
I do want my wife
1417
00:55:34,957 --> 00:55:36,077
to be my best friend,
of course,
1418
00:55:36,208 --> 00:55:37,578
but not just my best friend.
1419
00:55:37,709 --> 00:55:46,089
♪ ♪
1420
00:55:46,218 --> 00:55:47,008
- ♪ Ooh ♪
1421
00:55:47,094 --> 00:55:49,554
♪ ♪
1422
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:53,680
♪ Ooh ♪
1423
00:55:53,767 --> 00:55:55,387
- Hi.
- Hey, how’s it going?
1424
00:55:55,519 --> 00:55:57,479
- Good.
1425
00:55:57,563 --> 00:56:00,153
I just finished up
my letter to myself.
1426
00:56:00,232 --> 00:56:01,072
- Oh, yeah?
1427
00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:03,071
You think you’re ready
to read it?
1428
00:56:03,193 --> 00:56:04,743
- I’m, like, a little nervous.
1429
00:56:04,862 --> 00:56:06,242
- You look a little nervous.
1430
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,283
- But I think
it’s a good exercise,
1431
00:56:08,407 --> 00:56:10,077
’cause I feel like there’s
still going to be so much
1432
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:11,700
that we have
to learn about each other.
1433
00:56:11,785 --> 00:56:13,235
So, I guess--
1434
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,450
you want to hear it?
1435
00:56:14,580 --> 00:56:15,910
- Yeah, let’s do it.
1436
00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:17,749
- [sighs]
Okay.
1437
00:56:17,875 --> 00:56:19,425
"Dear Noi,
1438
00:56:19,543 --> 00:56:20,753
"you don’t know yourself yet,
1439
00:56:20,878 --> 00:56:26,298
"and as a result, the world
seems overwhelming and complex.
1440
00:56:26,425 --> 00:56:28,595
"This is because
there’s a world of emotions
1441
00:56:28,677 --> 00:56:29,927
"inside of you.
1442
00:56:30,053 --> 00:56:32,723
"Right now, it’s unnerving,
but you will soon realize
1443
00:56:32,806 --> 00:56:35,766
"that it is not a curse
to feel so much,
1444
00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:38,103
"even though you were
reprimanded for it.
1445
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:39,438
♪ ♪
1446
00:56:39,563 --> 00:56:41,443
"I’m sorry you felt
the need to hide
1447
00:56:41,523 --> 00:56:43,693
"when you were scared
and upset.
1448
00:56:43,775 --> 00:56:46,775
"I remember like it was just
yesterday when you watched Ma
1449
00:56:46,862 --> 00:56:49,202
"come home
from the chicken factory.
1450
00:56:49,281 --> 00:56:51,451
"And she had bloodstains
on her face,
1451
00:56:51,575 --> 00:56:53,455
"and you cried yourself
to sleep
1452
00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:55,367
"because it broke your heart
1453
00:56:55,454 --> 00:56:57,714
"to see her
have to work so hard.
1454
00:56:57,789 --> 00:57:00,289
"In some ways, this made
you feel like a burden.
1455
00:57:00,375 --> 00:57:03,455
"None of that weight
was ever yours to carry.
1456
00:57:03,587 --> 00:57:06,087
"And if your family knew
you carried this pain,
1457
00:57:06,173 --> 00:57:08,803
"it would
break their hearts too.
1458
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:10,966
"I’m sorry you were not
allowed to express
1459
00:57:11,094 --> 00:57:13,644
"the full range of emotions
inside of you.
1460
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:16,934
"Since you felt being seen
and heard was such a burden,
1461
00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:19,887
"you will hide a lot about
yourself to people you meet
1462
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:21,768
"because you were afraid
of being seen.
1463
00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:24,225
"I’m sorry that you ever
questioned your place
1464
00:57:24,316 --> 00:57:27,146
"in this world, because
you are more than worthy.
1465
00:57:27,277 --> 00:57:29,317
"And the love and acceptance
you are seeking
1466
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,316
"is actually inside of you.
1467
00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:32,528
"Trust it.
1468
00:57:32,658 --> 00:57:34,328
"And it’s okay
if you don’t yet,
1469
00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:37,081
"because I still love you
endlessly.
1470
00:57:37,162 --> 00:57:39,502
Love, your future self."
1471
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:40,923
[chuckles]
1472
00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:41,829
- Good job.
1473
00:57:41,959 --> 00:57:43,839
- Thanks, honey.
- Hey, give me a hug.
1474
00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:45,671
- Love you.
- I love you.
1475
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:48,876
♪ ♪
1476
00:57:49,007 --> 00:57:51,507
I can tell that there’s
a lot to unpack there.
1477
00:57:51,593 --> 00:57:54,183
It’s such a sensitive topic
when it comes to her childhood
1478
00:57:54,262 --> 00:57:55,972
and her past.
1479
00:57:56,056 --> 00:57:58,846
So I think it definitely
was pretty cathartic,
1480
00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:01,686
but also extremely
emotional for her.
1481
00:58:01,770 --> 00:58:03,520
- I was writing
1482
00:58:03,647 --> 00:58:08,187
to me when I was five to ten.
1483
00:58:08,276 --> 00:58:11,196
You know,
I don’t feel like I had
1484
00:58:11,279 --> 00:58:13,529
a real childhood,
in some regards.
1485
00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:15,867
Like, I always worried
about my family,
1486
00:58:15,951 --> 00:58:17,831
and I was always scared
of, like,
1487
00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:20,211
expressing myself as a child
1488
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:23,040
and not being able to process
1489
00:58:23,125 --> 00:58:25,005
those emotions
and verbalize it.
1490
00:58:25,085 --> 00:58:28,675
It just made everything feel
so, like, heavy and scary.
1491
00:58:28,755 --> 00:58:35,045
♪ ♪
1492
00:58:35,178 --> 00:58:37,598
[sniffles]
So I don’t know,
1493
00:58:37,723 --> 00:58:39,393
I think now...
1494
00:58:39,516 --> 00:58:41,556
♪ ♪
1495
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:44,565
I want to tell that kid
what I felt mattered.
1496
00:58:44,688 --> 00:58:46,688
[breathes shakily]
1497
00:58:46,773 --> 00:58:48,573
- Can you tell me about
1498
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:50,740
what you meant when you were
talking about your mom?
1499
00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:52,531
♪ ♪
1500
00:58:52,612 --> 00:58:54,492
- I think every kid
thinks their parent,
1501
00:58:54,573 --> 00:58:56,413
you know, is invincible.
1502
00:58:56,533 --> 00:59:00,253
And seeing, like,
these bloodstains on her face,
1503
00:59:00,328 --> 00:59:02,208
like, just made me so sad.
1504
00:59:02,289 --> 00:59:04,039
♪ ♪
1505
00:59:04,124 --> 00:59:06,464
Because I was like--
I mean, even as a kid,
1506
00:59:06,585 --> 00:59:08,385
I was like,
I don’t want my parents
1507
00:59:08,462 --> 00:59:11,262
to ever have to work
that hard, and, you know,
1508
00:59:11,381 --> 00:59:15,261
it made me feel like a burden.
1509
00:59:15,385 --> 00:59:17,175
Because if they didn’t have
me and my siblings,
1510
00:59:17,262 --> 00:59:20,142
like, would they have
to work like this?
1511
00:59:20,265 --> 00:59:22,635
♪ ♪
1512
00:59:22,768 --> 00:59:24,688
- It’s hard for me
to put myself
1513
00:59:24,770 --> 00:59:26,940
in her shoes, you know,
seeing
1514
00:59:27,022 --> 00:59:28,942
her parents work themselves
to the bone
1515
00:59:29,024 --> 00:59:30,784
in these harsh conditions.
1516
00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:33,571
And I definitely have a lot
of empathy for that.
1517
00:59:33,653 --> 00:59:35,283
I can’t imagine
what that’s like.
1518
00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:36,445
And I think, in some ways,
1519
00:59:36,573 --> 00:59:39,583
it affects us because
seems like she needs
1520
00:59:39,659 --> 00:59:42,699
a higher level
of certainty and security.
1521
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:44,328
You know,
I do have to understand
1522
00:59:44,456 --> 00:59:46,456
and respect that and
do what I can to make sure
1523
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:49,133
she doesn’t feel uncomfortable
or uncertain
1524
00:59:49,211 --> 00:59:53,461
about her well-being
or about us.
1525
00:59:53,590 --> 00:59:55,760
♪ ♪
1526
00:59:55,842 --> 00:59:59,142
- ♪ Underwater ♪
1527
00:59:59,262 --> 01:00:00,312
- [sniffles]
1528
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:02,220
♪ ♪
1529
01:00:02,307 --> 01:00:05,637
- ♪ Oh, one, two,
three, four ♪
1530
01:00:05,769 --> 01:00:09,149
♪ Counting every second
till you open my door ♪
1531
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:12,482
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
1532
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,647
♪ Counting every second till
you come back, come back ♪
1533
01:00:15,779 --> 01:00:18,159
- Yesterday was a tough day
for Mark.
1534
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:19,990
JC was his first cat.
1535
01:00:20,117 --> 01:00:21,777
The poor guy
has just had to go through
1536
01:00:21,868 --> 01:00:23,328
hurdle to hurdle to hurdle.
1537
01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:27,503
But, fortunate for him,
I’m really used to that.
1538
01:00:27,582 --> 01:00:29,922
So let’s do this.
1539
01:00:30,001 --> 01:00:31,341
I’m driving the bus.
1540
01:00:31,461 --> 01:00:32,921
We’re getting out
of the [bleep]storm.
1541
01:00:33,004 --> 01:00:35,594
Oh, what do you think?
1542
01:00:35,674 --> 01:00:37,014
- Where the hell
are you taking me?
1543
01:00:37,134 --> 01:00:38,594
- [laughs]
1544
01:00:38,677 --> 01:00:40,387
- There’s no benches.
1545
01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:41,802
- No, we’re in the woods.
1546
01:00:41,888 --> 01:00:43,848
Look at this one!
1547
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:46,104
I just hope, like,
that the expert visit
1548
01:00:46,184 --> 01:00:47,854
really got through to Mark.
1549
01:00:47,936 --> 01:00:51,356
I hope that Mark is gonna
start considering me,
1550
01:00:51,481 --> 01:00:52,821
choosing me first,
1551
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:54,819
and thinking about me
and his actions.
1552
01:00:54,901 --> 01:00:56,191
♪ ♪
1553
01:00:56,319 --> 01:00:58,739
Look, these are buttercups.
1554
01:00:58,864 --> 01:01:00,534
If you smell them,
they’ll turn your nose yellow,
1555
01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:02,487
and they’re so pretty.
1556
01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:03,866
- Okay.
1557
01:01:03,994 --> 01:01:05,874
This looks like,
you know, a jungle.
1558
01:01:05,996 --> 01:01:07,706
- No, it’s nature.
1559
01:01:07,831 --> 01:01:09,001
- ♪ I’d forgiven something ♪
1560
01:01:09,082 --> 01:01:11,712
- Just, you know,
step on the wood.
1561
01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:13,713
You’ll be fine.
1562
01:01:13,837 --> 01:01:15,377
- ♪ I took you
for something special ♪
1563
01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:17,045
- Slow and steady, baby.
1564
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:20,184
♪ ♪
1565
01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:21,550
- Kill myself.
1566
01:01:21,678 --> 01:01:27,478
♪ ♪
1567
01:01:27,559 --> 01:01:29,389
Are you [bleep] me?
1568
01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,937
Hold on, we--we’re not
going down to there.
1569
01:01:32,063 --> 01:01:34,273
- Yeah,
I’m taking you off-roading.
1570
01:01:34,399 --> 01:01:35,899
- No, no.
1571
01:01:36,026 --> 01:01:37,896
- [chuckles]
1572
01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:40,738
- Okay, where--where’s there,
like, a bench?
1573
01:01:40,864 --> 01:01:41,914
- When I was a kid,
1574
01:01:42,032 --> 01:01:43,532
there was no trail.
- Yeah.
1575
01:01:43,617 --> 01:01:44,777
- I would literally
just do that.
1576
01:01:44,910 --> 01:01:45,660
I would, like, be like,
1577
01:01:45,744 --> 01:01:47,914
"That’s a path.
I can see it."
1578
01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:49,408
- There’s no arrows
pointing that way.
1579
01:01:49,497 --> 01:01:50,867
- No, there is.
There’s a big clearing.
1580
01:01:50,957 --> 01:01:53,077
And then I’d be like,
"I’m gonna live here.
1581
01:01:53,168 --> 01:01:53,998
I’m gonna make a tent."
1582
01:01:54,085 --> 01:01:56,545
And I’d sit there
and dream of, like,
1583
01:01:56,630 --> 01:01:57,840
I don’t know,
living in the woods.
1584
01:01:57,923 --> 01:01:59,843
- Oh, okay.
1585
01:01:59,925 --> 01:02:02,095
Lindsey likes the woods.
She likes the nature.
1586
01:02:02,219 --> 01:02:04,139
I think this is where
she gets peace.
1587
01:02:04,262 --> 01:02:05,852
Not me, no.
1588
01:02:05,931 --> 01:02:07,141
You never know
what’s out there.
1589
01:02:07,265 --> 01:02:09,385
[chuckles]
1590
01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:11,096
- Growing up,
all behind my house
1591
01:02:11,228 --> 01:02:12,898
was all woods and swamp.
1592
01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:14,229
- Okay.
- And so, like, I’d just,
1593
01:02:14,314 --> 01:02:18,194
like, in my head, run away.
1594
01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:20,486
Could never run away.
I tried to once or twice.
1595
01:02:20,612 --> 01:02:21,612
The neighbors
would always be like,
1596
01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,358
"Your daughter’s at our house,"
and I’d be like,
1597
01:02:23,448 --> 01:02:25,158
"Why’d you have to tell them?"
1598
01:02:25,283 --> 01:02:28,123
- Why would you run away?
1599
01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:30,625
- I just felt like
my house was always
1600
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,077
somewhere I never belonged.
1601
01:02:32,165 --> 01:02:33,325
I didn’t feel like
there was a lot of love
1602
01:02:33,458 --> 01:02:34,628
in my house growing up.
1603
01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:36,379
My dad was always gone.
1604
01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:40,631
His--his version of being
a father was to provide for us
1605
01:02:40,757 --> 01:02:43,467
in the way
he never was provided for.
1606
01:02:43,593 --> 01:02:46,973
And my mom wanted to be
a stay-at-home mom,
1607
01:02:47,055 --> 01:02:50,105
but really
was not suited for that.
1608
01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:51,933
♪ ♪
1609
01:02:52,018 --> 01:02:56,188
I think, like, she grew
resentful over time of my dad.
1610
01:02:56,314 --> 01:02:57,524
♪ ♪
1611
01:02:57,649 --> 01:02:58,939
- Mm-hmm.
- She carried the role
1612
01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:00,605
of two parents
1613
01:03:00,694 --> 01:03:02,994
for all of my childhood.
- Yeah.
1614
01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:07,413
- And she didn’t handle
the stress of that very well.
1615
01:03:07,492 --> 01:03:10,952
And I kind of got
all the burden of it.
1616
01:03:11,037 --> 01:03:12,827
And so I’d just, like,
go out in the woods
1617
01:03:12,956 --> 01:03:14,326
and do crafts...
- Yeah.
1618
01:03:14,457 --> 01:03:15,667
- And projects in the woods.
1619
01:03:15,792 --> 01:03:18,002
- By yourself?
- Mm-hmm.
1620
01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:19,838
I just always tried
to stay busy.
1621
01:03:19,921 --> 01:03:21,921
I had to get out.
1622
01:03:22,007 --> 01:03:23,877
- I’m sorry.
- It’s all right.
1623
01:03:25,635 --> 01:03:27,175
You want to read my letter?
- Yeah.
1624
01:03:27,262 --> 01:03:28,682
- All right,
I’ll read it to you.
1625
01:03:30,849 --> 01:03:33,519
"Dear Lindsey,
1626
01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:34,483
"Growing up is hard.
1627
01:03:34,561 --> 01:03:36,061
"They don’t call it
’growing pains’
1628
01:03:36,187 --> 01:03:38,017
"because it’s easy.
1629
01:03:38,106 --> 01:03:40,186
"Most of your young life,
you’ll stand out.
1630
01:03:40,317 --> 01:03:42,987
"You’ll be clumsy,
unfiltered, quick-witted,
1631
01:03:43,069 --> 01:03:46,529
"and a little too sassy
and outspoken for your age.
1632
01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:48,366
"Things keep happening
in life that make you
1633
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:50,411
"feel like you don’t belong.
1634
01:03:50,535 --> 01:03:52,995
"People will tell you
you’re too much
1635
01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:56,039
"and that you’ll always feel
out of place.
1636
01:03:56,166 --> 01:03:57,536
"As you get older, you’ll find
1637
01:03:57,667 --> 01:03:59,537
"freedom in your voice
and power.
1638
01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:01,877
"You’ll enjoy the spaces
you create, and you’ll learn
1639
01:04:02,005 --> 01:04:03,925
"how to navigate
tough situations
1640
01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:05,549
"and pick yourself up.
1641
01:04:05,633 --> 01:04:07,223
"One day, the life you live
will be more
1642
01:04:07,302 --> 01:04:09,052
"than you ever hoped for.
1643
01:04:09,179 --> 01:04:10,719
"Your wildest dreams
will come true,
1644
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:13,265
"and people will appreciate you
for your uniqueness.
1645
01:04:13,391 --> 01:04:14,771
"You’re destined to do
great things,
1646
01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:16,233
and you can change the world."
1647
01:04:16,353 --> 01:04:18,063
♪ ♪
1648
01:04:18,146 --> 01:04:19,146
- That’s great.
1649
01:04:19,230 --> 01:04:20,900
It’s nice when
she can be vulnerable
1650
01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:25,404
because it--it lets me see
the deep person
1651
01:04:25,487 --> 01:04:26,737
that she is
and she can be.
1652
01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:29,243
And that’s a side
that I enjoy.
1653
01:04:29,366 --> 01:04:32,366
I think, if I see more
of that vulnerability,
1654
01:04:32,452 --> 01:04:34,042
she’ll see more of mine,
1655
01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,080
and things will be peaceful.
1656
01:04:36,164 --> 01:04:39,504
I think your younger self would
really appreciate that note.
1657
01:04:39,584 --> 01:04:41,594
And I think they would, like,
1658
01:04:41,711 --> 01:04:45,921
look at you as, like,
a role model, you know?
1659
01:04:46,007 --> 01:04:48,427
- Thank you.
- I think your younger self
1660
01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:50,601
needed someone like you.
1661
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:54,100
I appreciate how you just
kind of step up and
1662
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,024
just kind of move forward
with things
1663
01:04:56,101 --> 01:04:58,691
and helped me with JC,
1664
01:04:58,770 --> 01:05:03,070
and I’ve always appreciated you
in my own way.
1665
01:05:03,149 --> 01:05:04,939
If I don’t say it a lot...
1666
01:05:05,068 --> 01:05:06,778
- Well, I’m feeling it today.
1667
01:05:06,861 --> 01:05:09,281
And I’m hearing you today,
so thank you.
1668
01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:10,616
- ♪ Oh ♪
1669
01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:12,200
- You got one bite--
- Oh!
1670
01:05:12,283 --> 01:05:13,623
- [laughs]
- I had to kill--
1671
01:05:13,701 --> 01:05:15,291
- There wasn’t even
a bug there.
1672
01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:16,620
- It’s gone, it’s gone.
1673
01:05:16,746 --> 01:05:17,706
- I’ve seen a lot worse,
but you have
1674
01:05:17,789 --> 01:05:20,119
one big red bug bite
on the side of your face.
1675
01:05:20,208 --> 01:05:21,288
- Yes.
1676
01:05:21,418 --> 01:05:23,458
- ♪ Oh ♪
1677
01:05:27,048 --> 01:05:28,048
- ♪ I’m on top
of the mountain ♪
1678
01:05:28,133 --> 01:05:29,593
♪ How did we get here ♪
1679
01:05:29,676 --> 01:05:31,046
- [laughs]
1680
01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:32,966
- ♪ It was all you,
it was all you ♪
1681
01:05:33,054 --> 01:05:34,314
- [laughs]
1682
01:05:34,389 --> 01:05:35,769
- ♪ I’m on top
of the mountain ♪
1683
01:05:35,849 --> 01:05:38,429
♪ Nothing to see here ♪
1684
01:05:38,518 --> 01:05:40,728
♪ It was all you,
it was all you ♪
1685
01:05:40,812 --> 01:05:41,902
- Yeah,
we need to practice more.
1686
01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:44,440
[knock at door]
1687
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,074
- Hello!
- Hi, there.
1688
01:05:46,151 --> 01:05:47,321
- Hi!
1689
01:05:47,444 --> 01:05:49,824
I am a little nervous
1690
01:05:49,904 --> 01:05:51,954
to meet with Dr. Pepper.
1691
01:05:52,031 --> 01:05:54,121
But as far as
Steve and myself,
1692
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:56,410
there are still some things
1693
01:05:56,494 --> 01:05:58,794
that are still unknown
at this time.
1694
01:05:58,872 --> 01:06:02,462
And I think they’re gonna be
tough conversations with her.
1695
01:06:02,542 --> 01:06:03,832
♪ ♪
1696
01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:06,128
- So one of the reasons
I’m here
1697
01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:08,012
is to be helpful,
1698
01:06:08,089 --> 01:06:11,089
and to answer and give
advice on anything
1699
01:06:11,176 --> 01:06:13,926
that’s worrying you
or helping move you on your way
1700
01:06:14,012 --> 01:06:17,312
to having a positive answer
on Decision Day.
1701
01:06:17,390 --> 01:06:18,640
That said,
I know that there’s been
1702
01:06:18,725 --> 01:06:21,645
a lot of great things
that have happened between you,
1703
01:06:21,728 --> 01:06:25,648
but what I’d like to hear
from you guys
1704
01:06:25,732 --> 01:06:28,032
is more about
how you’ve opened up
1705
01:06:28,151 --> 01:06:30,611
and deepened the relationship.
1706
01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:32,275
Do you think,
1707
01:06:32,363 --> 01:06:33,363
your own estimation
of yourself,
1708
01:06:33,448 --> 01:06:35,658
that you’ve made progress
in opening up to him
1709
01:06:35,742 --> 01:06:38,122
and--and not shutting down?
1710
01:06:38,203 --> 01:06:40,873
- I feel like
1711
01:06:40,955 --> 01:06:42,865
I’ve made
a lot of progress on my own.
1712
01:06:42,957 --> 01:06:44,627
I mean, I feel like
1713
01:06:44,709 --> 01:06:47,169
Steve has made it a lot easier
for me too.
1714
01:06:47,253 --> 01:06:49,593
♪ ♪
1715
01:06:49,714 --> 01:06:53,684
But it’s really just
a matter of--
1716
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:56,180
we just didn’t grow up
expressing ourselves.
1717
01:06:56,262 --> 01:06:57,852
You know, we were kind
of butting heads
1718
01:06:57,931 --> 01:06:59,681
because I was saying,
"I need time to process.
1719
01:06:59,766 --> 01:07:02,226
"I--I’m really struggling
with this.
1720
01:07:02,310 --> 01:07:04,060
"I don’t feel safe enough
in those moments
1721
01:07:04,145 --> 01:07:06,355
"to really have
those conversations with you--
1722
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,399
"have those tough conversations
with you
1723
01:07:08,525 --> 01:07:09,445
because I’m scared."
1724
01:07:09,567 --> 01:07:10,647
♪ ♪
1725
01:07:10,735 --> 01:07:12,895
But for him, it felt like,
1726
01:07:13,029 --> 01:07:14,739
you know,
I was walking away from him
1727
01:07:14,864 --> 01:07:16,494
and not wanting
to work it out with him.
1728
01:07:16,574 --> 01:07:19,704
But it wasn’t a personal,
1729
01:07:19,786 --> 01:07:21,366
you know, response towards you
1730
01:07:21,454 --> 01:07:24,834
or, you know,
me not trusting you
1731
01:07:24,916 --> 01:07:26,536
with those feelings,
it was a matter of, you know,
1732
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:29,626
that’s just how
I’ve coped with those feelings,
1733
01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:30,554
like, as a child.
1734
01:07:30,630 --> 01:07:32,090
And, you know,
I still carry that,
1735
01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:34,885
you know, with me as an adult.
1736
01:07:34,968 --> 01:07:37,598
Before, I wasn’t
telling him anything.
1737
01:07:37,679 --> 01:07:41,719
Like, I wasn’t even comfortable
saying I’m upset, I’m angry.
1738
01:07:41,808 --> 01:07:42,888
I couldn’t even do that.
1739
01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:44,096
- Aww.
- I know.
1740
01:07:44,185 --> 01:07:45,225
- [laughs]
1741
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,521
- Imagine the turmoil--
the internal turmoil
1742
01:07:47,605 --> 01:07:48,555
I was feeling.
- Yeah.
1743
01:07:48,648 --> 01:07:50,068
- I was like,
"I have all these feelings,
1744
01:07:50,149 --> 01:07:53,069
but I don’t feel comfortable
saying it and expressing it."
1745
01:07:53,152 --> 01:07:54,992
But now, at least,
you know,
1746
01:07:55,113 --> 01:07:57,913
even if I’m not ready to say,
"This is why I’m upset,"
1747
01:07:57,991 --> 01:08:01,241
I can just at least address
that I’m upset.
1748
01:08:01,327 --> 01:08:02,787
I just need, like, a moment.
1749
01:08:02,870 --> 01:08:04,500
- Thank you.
- What about you, Steve?
1750
01:08:04,622 --> 01:08:07,922
What have you
offered of yourself
1751
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:09,091
and your own vulnerabilities
1752
01:08:09,168 --> 01:08:11,628
and the moments of shame
in your past that you could
1753
01:08:11,754 --> 01:08:14,674
unload and let her know
and let her see?
1754
01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:17,089
- I guess something
that comes to mind there is--
1755
01:08:17,176 --> 01:08:19,466
is, if things
are gonna get hard,
1756
01:08:19,554 --> 01:08:21,474
are you just gonna just
shut down and walk away?
1757
01:08:21,556 --> 01:08:23,016
And, you know, I think
1758
01:08:23,141 --> 01:08:25,641
some of those feelings
come from
1759
01:08:25,768 --> 01:08:27,268
past relationships
that didn’t work out
1760
01:08:27,353 --> 01:08:29,113
or situations where, you know,
1761
01:08:29,188 --> 01:08:30,728
abandonment
in whatever form there is.
1762
01:08:30,815 --> 01:08:31,815
And it’s like,
1763
01:08:31,899 --> 01:08:34,279
for me, it was like,
"Can this really work?"
1764
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:37,320
Up until that point, I didn’t
have any of those thoughts.
1765
01:08:37,405 --> 01:08:38,325
But when that happened,
I was just like,
1766
01:08:38,448 --> 01:08:40,948
"I don’t--I don’t think
this can work."
1767
01:08:41,034 --> 01:08:44,954
Then, you know, it’s gonna
be too painful for me.
1768
01:08:45,038 --> 01:08:46,788
I’d imagine
probably for you, too.
1769
01:08:46,873 --> 01:08:50,503
♪ ♪
1770
01:08:50,585 --> 01:08:52,675
- One of the things
that have been talked about is
1771
01:08:52,754 --> 01:08:55,464
the fact that
you might not
1772
01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:59,638
want to--to give up your place.
1773
01:08:59,719 --> 01:09:03,509
So I wondered about how
you guys have discussed that
1774
01:09:03,598 --> 01:09:06,598
in terms of what it means
and how you handle it.
1775
01:09:06,684 --> 01:09:10,404
- I originally expected
for us to move in together.
1776
01:09:10,521 --> 01:09:12,821
So when she had mentioned it,
it was just first, like,
1777
01:09:12,899 --> 01:09:16,109
"Oh, I never--
I didn’t consider that.
1778
01:09:16,194 --> 01:09:17,994
Let me understand
the reasons why."
1779
01:09:18,071 --> 01:09:22,741
And also understanding that
a big piece of this was
1780
01:09:22,867 --> 01:09:25,737
her accomplishment of getting
to this place of independence,
1781
01:09:25,870 --> 01:09:26,700
having her own apartment,
1782
01:09:26,829 --> 01:09:28,829
and I wanted her
to honor those feelings
1783
01:09:28,915 --> 01:09:31,675
while also considering
how I feel.
1784
01:09:31,751 --> 01:09:34,591
♪ ♪
1785
01:09:34,712 --> 01:09:36,552
- And let me just say,
just so
1786
01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:38,671
I’m not a hypocrite to myself,
1787
01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:40,548
just so you know--
- Do you live separately?
1788
01:09:40,635 --> 01:09:41,845
- I live separately.
- [gasps]
1789
01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:43,008
- [laughs]
- Oh, my God!
1790
01:09:43,096 --> 01:09:44,886
- Dun-dun-dun!
- Dun-dun-dun.
1791
01:09:45,014 --> 01:09:46,524
The secret to
a successful marriage
1792
01:09:46,599 --> 01:09:48,389
is living separately,
ladies and gentlemen.
1793
01:09:48,476 --> 01:09:49,686
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.
1794
01:09:49,769 --> 01:09:51,849
- However, however,
1795
01:09:51,938 --> 01:09:53,728
this is my second marriage.
1796
01:09:53,815 --> 01:09:55,695
We’ve been together 16 years.
1797
01:09:55,775 --> 01:09:58,825
But in my previous
23-year marriage,
1798
01:09:58,903 --> 01:10:00,453
I raised kids,
1799
01:10:00,571 --> 01:10:01,951
and so we lived together.
- Mm.
1800
01:10:02,073 --> 01:10:03,703
- And that is
a big difference.
1801
01:10:03,783 --> 01:10:05,583
My question to you is,
1802
01:10:05,660 --> 01:10:06,910
if you’re married
and you’re not
1803
01:10:06,994 --> 01:10:08,414
living together
all the time,
1804
01:10:08,538 --> 01:10:11,328
how do you reassure each other
so that
1805
01:10:11,416 --> 01:10:13,876
you feel taken care of
and truly married?
1806
01:10:13,960 --> 01:10:16,710
♪ ♪
1807
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:19,546
- We haven’t ironed out
all the details.
1808
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:21,882
But, you know,
we want to try to...
1809
01:10:21,968 --> 01:10:23,258
♪ ♪
1810
01:10:23,344 --> 01:10:28,524
Incorporate each other into our
routines as much as possible.
1811
01:10:28,599 --> 01:10:30,639
I’m just not sure
1812
01:10:30,768 --> 01:10:33,768
exactly what
that’s gonna look like yet.
1813
01:10:33,855 --> 01:10:38,075
But I know I want you
to be in my life every day.
1814
01:10:38,151 --> 01:10:40,401
I don’t know, you know,
how we can do that,
1815
01:10:40,486 --> 01:10:44,736
but just like we haven’t
come to a resolution
1816
01:10:44,824 --> 01:10:46,374
for everything
we’re going through,
1817
01:10:46,451 --> 01:10:48,121
this is just
one more thing that
1818
01:10:48,202 --> 01:10:51,962
we might not have figured out
by Decision Day.
1819
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:53,921
- I think
just as long as that
1820
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:57,590
if you aren’t
with each other all the time,
1821
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,920
then you really should think
1822
01:11:00,006 --> 01:11:03,086
in a very practical way about
1823
01:11:03,176 --> 01:11:04,676
"How do you make sure
that each of you
1824
01:11:04,802 --> 01:11:06,852
"feels emotionally
taken care of,
1825
01:11:06,971 --> 01:11:08,311
"that you feel
that you’re married,
1826
01:11:08,389 --> 01:11:10,309
that you’re doing
things for each other?"
1827
01:11:10,391 --> 01:11:11,231
Seeing each other every day,
1828
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,889
if that’s
an important part of it.
1829
01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:14,017
Whatever it is,
1830
01:11:14,145 --> 01:11:17,945
you want to make sure
that you find your own way
1831
01:11:18,024 --> 01:11:20,784
that feels good
1832
01:11:20,860 --> 01:11:24,150
and emotionally sustaining
to each of you,
1833
01:11:24,280 --> 01:11:26,160
not just one of you,
1834
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:28,450
so that the marriage
gets the nourishment it needs,
1835
01:11:28,534 --> 01:11:31,004
but you can do it your own way.
1836
01:11:31,078 --> 01:11:33,158
- It is okay
to not necessarily have
1837
01:11:33,247 --> 01:11:36,287
a traditional way of living
or marriage.
1838
01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:39,335
But I mean, you can’t really
1839
01:11:39,420 --> 01:11:42,670
raise kids productively
1840
01:11:42,757 --> 01:11:45,587
and bounce off each other
when we are across town.
1841
01:11:45,676 --> 01:11:48,796
Right now, it’s just
a hypothetical future for us.
1842
01:11:48,888 --> 01:11:51,348
So we do need
to prepare for that.
1843
01:11:51,432 --> 01:11:56,852
♪ ♪
1844
01:12:00,441 --> 01:12:03,031
- ♪ I want to ♪
1845
01:12:03,152 --> 01:12:06,702
♪ Want to remember ♪
1846
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:10,083
♪ What it was like to ♪
1847
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,371
♪ Come home ♪
1848
01:12:12,453 --> 01:12:14,163
♪ ♪
1849
01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:15,537
- Right over here.
- Yeah.
1850
01:12:15,623 --> 01:12:17,083
- That was my high school.
1851
01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:18,918
- North Quincy High?
- Yeah.
1852
01:12:19,043 --> 01:12:20,713
Today, we are in Quincy,
1853
01:12:20,795 --> 01:12:23,425
and I’m taking Lindsey
to my parents’ house
1854
01:12:23,548 --> 01:12:24,878
that I grew up in.
1855
01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:27,547
This is where I went
for my dad’s funeral.
1856
01:12:27,635 --> 01:12:28,305
- This white--
1857
01:12:28,386 --> 01:12:30,926
- White one, Hamilton-Lydon.
1858
01:12:31,055 --> 01:12:33,095
- I’m sorry.
1859
01:12:33,224 --> 01:12:36,564
- It’s been two years
since we’ve lived here
1860
01:12:36,644 --> 01:12:38,604
and two years since
my dad passed away,
1861
01:12:38,729 --> 01:12:41,569
but it always--always
feels like home
1862
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:44,741
whenever I’m in this
neighborhood and on the street.
1863
01:12:44,819 --> 01:12:46,109
♪ ♪
1864
01:12:46,237 --> 01:12:47,697
This is my childhood home.
1865
01:12:47,780 --> 01:12:50,120
Wow, they--they
repaved everything.
1866
01:12:50,241 --> 01:12:52,241
♪ ♪
1867
01:12:52,368 --> 01:12:53,618
Wow.
1868
01:12:53,744 --> 01:12:57,504
♪ ♪
1869
01:12:57,582 --> 01:13:01,252
It’s...
1870
01:13:01,335 --> 01:13:03,165
It’s so different ’cause
there was--there was, like,
1871
01:13:03,254 --> 01:13:06,594
all dirt and plants,
and we have bushes over here.
1872
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:09,554
I had a hoop.
1873
01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:12,255
I had all my friends’ initials.
1874
01:13:12,346 --> 01:13:13,716
I used to, like,
spray-paint their initials
1875
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:15,346
along the whole--
the whole path.
1876
01:13:15,433 --> 01:13:16,813
- Your dad let you do that?
- Yeah.
1877
01:13:16,934 --> 01:13:19,274
- He would sit here.
1878
01:13:19,395 --> 01:13:20,805
Yeah, he would sit here
and just
1879
01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:22,648
watch the cars drive by.
1880
01:13:22,773 --> 01:13:24,653
- Hmm.
1881
01:13:24,775 --> 01:13:30,155
♪ ♪
1882
01:13:30,281 --> 01:13:32,161
- Yeah,
this is--this is my street.
1883
01:13:32,283 --> 01:13:33,783
♪ ♪
1884
01:13:33,910 --> 01:13:36,700
Wow, this is
the original fence.
1885
01:13:36,787 --> 01:13:38,617
This--this ground
is throwing me off a lot.
1886
01:13:38,748 --> 01:13:39,668
It’s not like how it was.
1887
01:13:39,790 --> 01:13:42,790
It looks nice,
but it’s not how it was.
1888
01:13:42,919 --> 01:13:44,169
That door is different.
1889
01:13:44,295 --> 01:13:46,055
But the siding is the same.
1890
01:13:46,130 --> 01:13:48,470
Wow.
1891
01:13:48,591 --> 01:13:50,881
- How does it make you feel
to be here?
1892
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:58,771
♪ ♪
1893
01:13:58,851 --> 01:14:01,811
- It’s a--it’s a lot.
1894
01:14:01,938 --> 01:14:03,358
Um...
1895
01:14:03,481 --> 01:14:04,771
♪ ♪
1896
01:14:04,857 --> 01:14:06,527
It’s a lot of emotion.
1897
01:14:06,651 --> 01:14:09,191
♪ ♪
1898
01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:10,990
My dad would sit here,
1899
01:14:11,113 --> 01:14:12,703
and my mother would yell out
that window.
1900
01:14:12,823 --> 01:14:14,833
♪ ♪
1901
01:14:14,951 --> 01:14:16,991
- Like what?
"Dinner!"
1902
01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:18,199
- No, she’d be like,
"John, no one wants
1903
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:20,409
"to vis--wave to you.
1904
01:14:20,498 --> 01:14:22,708
No one wants you
to talk to them."
1905
01:14:22,833 --> 01:14:24,713
♪ ♪
1906
01:14:24,835 --> 01:14:26,335
She’d just sit there
and stare out the window,
1907
01:14:26,420 --> 01:14:29,300
whatever he did.
1908
01:14:29,382 --> 01:14:32,972
We would put candles in
those windows for Christmas.
1909
01:14:33,052 --> 01:14:34,392
Yeah, this is home.
1910
01:14:34,512 --> 01:14:39,682
♪ ♪
1911
01:14:39,809 --> 01:14:42,059
It still feels like yesterday,
he was
1912
01:14:42,186 --> 01:14:44,556
sitting outside and my mom
was in the window
1913
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,399
and we were all living here.
1914
01:14:46,524 --> 01:14:49,364
♪ ♪
1915
01:14:49,485 --> 01:14:52,395
I have the letter that
I wrote to my younger self,
1916
01:14:52,530 --> 01:14:55,410
and I’d really like
to read it to you.
1917
01:14:55,533 --> 01:14:59,913
"Dear Mark, this house is
gonna shape you in many ways.
1918
01:15:00,037 --> 01:15:02,997
"You’ll see your father
do what he can for his family.
1919
01:15:03,082 --> 01:15:04,582
"You’ll see your mother clean,
1920
01:15:04,709 --> 01:15:07,539
"cook, and take care
of the house.
1921
01:15:07,628 --> 01:15:10,048
"You’ll see her and Nana Jo
1922
01:15:10,172 --> 01:15:12,552
"get things ready for
the holidays in the kitchen.
1923
01:15:12,675 --> 01:15:15,765
"They always make Christmas
feel like a movie.
1924
01:15:15,886 --> 01:15:17,296
"And I was a little lucky boy
1925
01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:19,928
"who got to see Santa
every year.
1926
01:15:20,057 --> 01:15:22,057
"If I could give you,
Mark, any advice as a kid,
1927
01:15:22,143 --> 01:15:23,983
"love your parents
more than you do now.
1928
01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:27,111
"Spend as much time with them
as you can.
1929
01:15:27,231 --> 01:15:30,981
♪ ♪
1930
01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:33,608
"Take pictures and videos
you’ll appreciate later,
1931
01:15:33,738 --> 01:15:35,278
when you get older."
1932
01:15:35,406 --> 01:15:42,366
♪ ♪
1933
01:15:47,585 --> 01:15:49,635
- It sounds like while
there’s a lot of good memories,
1934
01:15:49,754 --> 01:15:52,804
there’s also a lot of sadness.
1935
01:15:52,923 --> 01:15:54,263
And there’s this sense
of longing
1936
01:15:54,341 --> 01:15:56,181
and miss for that nostalgia
1937
01:15:56,260 --> 01:15:58,140
and that life you had.
1938
01:15:58,262 --> 01:16:00,102
- Yeah.
1939
01:16:00,181 --> 01:16:02,681
- I’ve seen
Mark get emotional a lot.
1940
01:16:02,767 --> 01:16:05,227
I know that he’s somebody
who feels very deeply.
1941
01:16:05,311 --> 01:16:08,441
I’m very grateful
that he’s being vulnerable
1942
01:16:08,564 --> 01:16:11,484
and opening up and sharing
these experiences with me.
1943
01:16:11,609 --> 01:16:13,689
We missed the mark
on a lot of situations,
1944
01:16:13,778 --> 01:16:17,318
but where we align
is so deep and connected
1945
01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:20,658
that it’s a gift that not many
other people are able to have.
1946
01:16:20,785 --> 01:16:22,375
♪ ♪
1947
01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:23,953
- This is where I’d--
1948
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:25,620
this is where I’d live.
1949
01:16:25,706 --> 01:16:27,366
Raise kids here.
1950
01:16:27,458 --> 01:16:29,458
- In this type of neighborhood.
1951
01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:30,955
- Just--right here
in this house.
1952
01:16:31,045 --> 01:16:31,925
I think it makes sense.
1953
01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:33,514
Someday, we should move
in this home.
1954
01:16:33,631 --> 01:16:35,631
This is a place
that I love so much,
1955
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:37,676
and it will always
feel like home to me,
1956
01:16:37,802 --> 01:16:39,892
no matter how old I get
and no matter who lives here.
1957
01:16:39,970 --> 01:16:41,510
If there’s a way
I can one day
1958
01:16:41,639 --> 01:16:42,969
get this home, that--
that’d be great.
1959
01:16:43,099 --> 01:16:44,519
I’d leave in a second.
1960
01:16:44,642 --> 01:16:46,522
♪ ♪
1961
01:16:46,644 --> 01:16:47,854
- Oh, my gosh, Mark.
1962
01:16:47,978 --> 01:16:50,108
I can’t just live
in your family’s home
1963
01:16:50,189 --> 01:16:52,269
for the rest
of my life, okay?
1964
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:54,068
I don’t think so!
1965
01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:55,691
I’m not gonna compete
with the past.
1966
01:16:55,820 --> 01:16:57,490
I’d live in that house
or that house
1967
01:16:57,613 --> 01:17:00,123
or that house or that house
or that house.
1968
01:17:00,199 --> 01:17:01,529
But, like,
I wouldn’t want you to live
1969
01:17:01,659 --> 01:17:03,329
in any of my old houses,
1970
01:17:03,410 --> 01:17:05,700
and I wouldn’t want to live
in any of your old houses.
1971
01:17:05,830 --> 01:17:07,830
- What if we paint it?
1972
01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:10,377
- I want a new beginning.
1973
01:17:10,501 --> 01:17:12,091
I’m looking at you
look at this house,
1974
01:17:12,169 --> 01:17:15,419
and I’m hearing about these
moments that you really loved.
1975
01:17:15,506 --> 01:17:17,546
And what I hear about
most of the love is, like,
1976
01:17:17,675 --> 01:17:19,685
how fun and friendly
this neighborhood was.
1977
01:17:19,802 --> 01:17:20,682
- Right?
1978
01:17:20,761 --> 01:17:22,221
Wouldn’t you want
to be on this street?
1979
01:17:22,346 --> 01:17:23,846
- Yeah, but not in this house.
1980
01:17:23,931 --> 01:17:29,191
♪ ♪
1981
01:17:29,270 --> 01:17:30,650
♪ And I feel it for you ♪
1982
01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:32,939
♪ Baby, this is love ♪
1983
01:17:33,023 --> 01:17:34,983
♪ I’m lost in it, too ♪
1984
01:17:35,067 --> 01:17:37,237
[knock at door]
- I’ll get it.
1985
01:17:37,361 --> 01:17:38,321
Hello, Dr. Pepper.
1986
01:17:38,404 --> 01:17:39,954
- What a great color on you.
That looks great.
1987
01:17:40,030 --> 01:17:42,530
- Thank you, how are you?
- Nice to see you.
1988
01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:45,698
- The last time I spoke with
Dr. Pepper, I wasn’t okay.
1989
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:47,658
You’re pointing me out to make
me look like the bad guy.
1990
01:17:47,746 --> 01:17:50,366
But I’m really bothered
about--about all this.
1991
01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:51,207
I’m really serious.
1992
01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:52,713
This is my life,
I think--I don’t--
1993
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:54,175
I don’t even think it’s funny.
1994
01:17:54,253 --> 01:17:55,503
I got real.
[laughs]
1995
01:17:55,588 --> 01:17:56,878
Wow, you came out hot today!
- Yup!
1996
01:17:57,006 --> 01:17:59,006
- I know she did.
- You are hot tonight!
1997
01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:02,341
But now Decision Day
is around the corner.
1998
01:18:02,428 --> 01:18:05,178
I think Katina and I
really need guidance,
1999
01:18:05,264 --> 01:18:08,774
so I’m definitely happy
that she’s here.
2000
01:18:08,893 --> 01:18:10,893
- We’re getting close
to decision-making time,
2001
01:18:10,978 --> 01:18:12,598
so what I would like to do is
2002
01:18:12,730 --> 01:18:14,690
make sure that
2003
01:18:14,773 --> 01:18:17,233
we help you keep going deeper
2004
01:18:17,318 --> 01:18:19,698
and into more profound parts
of your relationship.
2005
01:18:19,778 --> 01:18:20,898
- Mm-hmm.
2006
01:18:21,030 --> 01:18:22,320
- Because after all,
the vows you made
2007
01:18:22,406 --> 01:18:25,616
were for marriage,
and that’s a big deal.
2008
01:18:25,743 --> 01:18:26,743
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
2009
01:18:26,827 --> 01:18:28,747
- It’s a really big deal.
2010
01:18:28,871 --> 01:18:31,581
So what are you feeling?
2011
01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:33,077
- I feel good...
[clears throat]
2012
01:18:33,209 --> 01:18:34,539
With Katina.
2013
01:18:34,627 --> 01:18:36,377
Our energy is there.
Chemistry’s there.
2014
01:18:36,462 --> 01:18:38,882
We have a disagreement,
we bounce back
2015
01:18:38,964 --> 01:18:40,424
in a matter of--
[chuckles]
2016
01:18:40,549 --> 01:18:42,469
You go take a pee
and come back, you’d be like,
2017
01:18:42,593 --> 01:18:44,093
"I can’t believe those two were
just arguing two seconds ago."
2018
01:18:44,220 --> 01:18:45,720
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
2019
01:18:45,804 --> 01:18:47,064
- For example, the other day,
2020
01:18:47,139 --> 01:18:48,599
we got in an argument
and got so heated
2021
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:50,184
to the point where I was like,
2022
01:18:50,267 --> 01:18:52,307
"Jeez, can you just shut up
for a second?"
2023
01:18:52,436 --> 01:18:54,096
♪ ♪
2024
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:56,398
And I caught myself instantly.
2025
01:18:56,482 --> 01:18:58,442
I went to the bathroom,
I came back out,
2026
01:18:58,567 --> 01:18:59,937
and within seconds, I was like,
2027
01:19:00,069 --> 01:19:00,989
"I should never say that
to you.
2028
01:19:01,111 --> 01:19:03,281
"You’re my wife.
You’re somebody I care for.
2029
01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:05,244
I gotta watch how I talk
before I speak."
2030
01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:06,414
- I mean, that’s growth.
2031
01:19:06,492 --> 01:19:09,082
- Yeah, and it felt good
2032
01:19:09,161 --> 01:19:10,451
to mess up and have somebody
2033
01:19:10,537 --> 01:19:12,077
open their arms
and forgive you.
2034
01:19:12,164 --> 01:19:13,584
It’s great.
2035
01:19:13,666 --> 01:19:15,496
But now it’s more of getting
2036
01:19:15,626 --> 01:19:16,956
into deeper conversations,
you know?
2037
01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:18,586
The things that really matter.
2038
01:19:18,671 --> 01:19:20,421
What’s--what do you want
in your future?
2039
01:19:20,506 --> 01:19:21,836
And what do I want
really in my future?
2040
01:19:21,966 --> 01:19:22,876
We know we like each other.
2041
01:19:22,967 --> 01:19:26,297
But what we doing?
What are we trying to do?
2042
01:19:26,428 --> 01:19:29,348
- Well, tell me about that.
Tell me what goals you share,
2043
01:19:29,473 --> 01:19:32,353
and then maybe ones that you’re
more in conversation about.
2044
01:19:32,476 --> 01:19:34,476
- We were talking about
having kids within two years.
2045
01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:36,443
That’s something that we both
2046
01:19:36,522 --> 01:19:38,612
made clear when we first
started this,
2047
01:19:38,691 --> 01:19:40,151
like, at our wedding.
2048
01:19:40,234 --> 01:19:41,494
- Do you want kids?
2049
01:19:41,610 --> 01:19:42,740
- Yeah, in the future.
2050
01:19:42,820 --> 01:19:43,820
In the future.
- Okay.
2051
01:19:43,946 --> 01:19:45,406
How far in the future?
2052
01:19:45,489 --> 01:19:46,869
- Maybe three years,
something like that?
2053
01:19:46,991 --> 01:19:47,911
I--we gotta travel the world.
- Okay, see,
2054
01:19:47,992 --> 01:19:48,952
that works out so nice.
2055
01:19:49,034 --> 01:19:50,084
[gasps]
- I gotta travel the world.
2056
01:19:50,160 --> 01:19:51,830
I love to travel.
- You work on my timeline!
2057
01:19:51,912 --> 01:19:52,912
- I love to travel.
2058
01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:54,287
- I said, like, two years.
2059
01:19:54,373 --> 01:19:56,293
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
2060
01:19:56,375 --> 01:19:57,465
That was huge to us.
2061
01:19:57,543 --> 01:19:58,293
- So you both agree
2062
01:19:58,377 --> 01:20:00,047
that the two-year kid thing
2063
01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:01,460
was something you both want?
2064
01:20:01,547 --> 01:20:02,627
- Yeah, we both want.
2065
01:20:02,715 --> 01:20:04,805
Now we’re getting into
a deeper conversation,
2066
01:20:04,883 --> 01:20:07,973
not saying it’s impossible,
but we--we have to put it
2067
01:20:08,053 --> 01:20:10,263
to the light
that will be tough.
2068
01:20:10,347 --> 01:20:11,637
When I came
out of high school,
2069
01:20:11,724 --> 01:20:13,314
I went to college,
2070
01:20:13,392 --> 01:20:15,812
but Katina is still in school.
2071
01:20:15,894 --> 01:20:17,944
So the conflict we have is,
2072
01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:21,232
can Katina finish
her bachelor’s
2073
01:20:21,358 --> 01:20:24,108
and finish her nursing
while being married
2074
01:20:24,194 --> 01:20:26,284
and having a kid?
2075
01:20:26,363 --> 01:20:27,953
That is a lot,
2076
01:20:28,032 --> 01:20:29,702
and I don’t ever
2077
01:20:29,825 --> 01:20:32,365
want to see Katina
become overwhelmed.
2078
01:20:32,453 --> 01:20:34,833
And I know this could happen,
2079
01:20:34,913 --> 01:20:36,583
and I also want to make sure
2080
01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:38,167
that I’m happy
at the same time.
2081
01:20:38,250 --> 01:20:39,580
- For sure.
- And I’m being answered.
2082
01:20:39,710 --> 01:20:42,090
♪ ♪
2083
01:20:42,212 --> 01:20:44,052
- Katina.
2084
01:20:44,131 --> 01:20:45,671
What are the things
that you want most?
2085
01:20:45,758 --> 01:20:47,838
You know, I mean, just you.
2086
01:20:47,926 --> 01:20:49,336
- I think, for me,
2087
01:20:49,428 --> 01:20:51,598
it’s just making sure that,
2088
01:20:51,722 --> 01:20:53,522
you know,
that I’m, like you said, like,
2089
01:20:53,599 --> 01:20:56,179
not getting overwhelmed
and things like that
2090
01:20:56,268 --> 01:20:58,268
and seeing that if I can
2091
01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:01,395
be able to, like, focus
while I’m trying to be a wife.
2092
01:21:01,523 --> 01:21:03,073
All men require attention,
2093
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:05,072
but I think for him,
he requires, like,
2094
01:21:05,194 --> 01:21:08,704
a little higher level
of attention.
2095
01:21:08,781 --> 01:21:11,491
And he already is, no offense,
a lot to deal with.
2096
01:21:11,575 --> 01:21:12,525
- There’s nothing wrong
with it.
2097
01:21:12,618 --> 01:21:13,908
There’s nothing wrong with it.
[laughter]
2098
01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:14,914
I understand. I understand.
2099
01:21:14,995 --> 01:21:17,365
- It could be draining,
in a sense,
2100
01:21:17,456 --> 01:21:19,366
for me, personally.
2101
01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:21,918
♪ ♪
2102
01:21:22,002 --> 01:21:25,092
- If we can’t find
a resolution...
2103
01:21:25,172 --> 01:21:28,632
’Cause I know Katina
cares about school a lot.
2104
01:21:28,759 --> 01:21:30,259
♪ ♪
2105
01:21:30,344 --> 01:21:31,434
I’m just being truthful.
2106
01:21:31,553 --> 01:21:33,683
I haven’t said this to her,
but if I was her,
2107
01:21:33,764 --> 01:21:35,104
I would lock in.
2108
01:21:35,182 --> 01:21:38,272
I would lock in, and I would
dedicate my life to myself,
2109
01:21:38,394 --> 01:21:40,904
’cause I know, if I do it,
I can bang this out
2110
01:21:40,979 --> 01:21:42,559
in two years
and be ready for you.
2111
01:21:42,648 --> 01:21:45,028
If you--this is love,
I’ll be ready for you.
2112
01:21:45,109 --> 01:21:46,609
I’m not going nowhere.
2113
01:21:46,693 --> 01:21:48,403
You know,
I’m not gonna tell her that.
2114
01:21:48,487 --> 01:21:49,987
[laughs]
I don’t want her to do that,
2115
01:21:50,114 --> 01:21:52,534
but if I was in her shoes,
I would--
2116
01:21:52,616 --> 01:21:54,906
I would--
if she asked for advice,
2117
01:21:54,993 --> 01:21:58,253
that would be my truest answer.
2118
01:21:58,330 --> 01:21:59,920
[sighs]
2119
01:22:01,333 --> 01:22:02,923
- Yeah.
2120
01:22:03,001 --> 01:22:04,421
- Yeah, if you care
for somebody,
2121
01:22:04,503 --> 01:22:06,763
you will always look out
for what’s best for them.
2122
01:22:06,839 --> 01:22:09,929
♪ ♪
2123
01:22:10,008 --> 01:22:12,678
[exhales]
2124
01:22:12,803 --> 01:22:14,763
- ♪ Going in circles ♪
2125
01:22:14,847 --> 01:22:20,057
♪ ♪
2126
01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:22,104
- Break!
- Break.
2127
01:22:22,187 --> 01:22:25,067
- Next time on
"Married at First Sight,"
2128
01:22:25,149 --> 01:22:27,609
with less than a week left
until Decision Day,
2129
01:22:27,693 --> 01:22:29,783
our couples will have
the chance to talk
2130
01:22:29,862 --> 01:22:32,282
to their trusted
friends and family
2131
01:22:32,364 --> 01:22:35,034
before making the biggest
decision of their life.
2132
01:22:35,159 --> 01:22:36,829
- What’s making you
want to get another ring?
2133
01:22:36,952 --> 01:22:38,332
- I think giving her this
will just really
2134
01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:40,122
send her a message
as to how I feel.
2135
01:22:40,205 --> 01:22:43,415
- I definitely feel
more connected to him,
2136
01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:47,170
but feelings
have still not come.
2137
01:22:47,296 --> 01:22:48,456
- So how’s it going?
2138
01:22:48,547 --> 01:22:49,337
♪ ♪
2139
01:22:49,423 --> 01:22:51,343
Up and down, up and down?
- Mm-hmm.
2140
01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:52,845
- I’d rather have
more ups than downs,
2141
01:22:52,926 --> 01:22:54,426
and we’ve had an equal amount.
2142
01:22:54,511 --> 01:22:56,181
It’s just probably why
I’m, like,
2143
01:22:56,305 --> 01:22:58,015
torn between which way to go.
2144
01:22:58,140 --> 01:23:00,640
- I don’t see
how she could be a wife,
2145
01:23:00,726 --> 01:23:02,806
getting her bachelor’s and then
going to nursing school.
2146
01:23:02,895 --> 01:23:04,855
I just went through this
with my ex.
2147
01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:06,818
- Right.
- And it didn’t work.
2148
01:23:06,899 --> 01:23:08,149
- I still have some questions.
2149
01:23:08,233 --> 01:23:10,323
I mean, I don’t really
know the Steve
2150
01:23:10,402 --> 01:23:12,152
that has had a job.
2151
01:23:12,237 --> 01:23:13,447
[cymbals crash]
2152
01:23:13,530 --> 01:23:15,740
- Does the good
outweigh the con?
2153
01:23:15,866 --> 01:23:18,276
- Regardless of how
great of friends we are,
2154
01:23:18,368 --> 01:23:19,198
we didn’t come here to...
2155
01:23:19,328 --> 01:23:21,248
- Be friends.
- To be friends, yeah.
2156
01:23:21,371 --> 01:23:23,081
♪ ♪
2157
01:23:23,207 --> 01:23:26,167
- You knew that this is
the chance that we take, so...
2158
01:23:26,251 --> 01:23:27,841
- Okay.
2159
01:23:27,920 --> 01:23:30,920
♪ ♪
2160
01:23:33,091 --> 01:23:38,891
♪ ♪