1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:02,792 {\an1}- Can we all please stand? 2 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,048 {\an1}- Just over five weeks ago, 3 00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:08,092 {\an1}ten singles took a leap into the unknown 4 00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,587 {\an1}in search of love. 5 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:11,218 {\an1}[cheers and applause] They married 6 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,725 {\an1}as complete strangers. 7 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,267 {\an1}And in only three weeks, 8 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,600 {\an1}they’ll have to make a decision 9 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,595 {\an1}as to whether they’ll stay married or get a divorce. 10 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,438 {\an1}[applause] 11 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,573 {\an1}[upbeat music] 12 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,190 {\an1}Last time, our couples 13 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,605 {\an1}continued to learn about their spouses 14 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:30,026 {\an1}while dealing with the hustle and bustle 15 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,663 {\an1}of their daily lives. 16 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,280 {\an1}- Salty, mmm. - Okay. Uh. 17 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,828 {\an1}- Jasmina and Michael. 18 00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:39,962 {\an1}- If it stays this way, I know for sure, like, 19 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:42,962 {\an1}an emotional connection will, like, follow. 20 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,965 {\an1}- Nothing should stop me from trying to make this work. 21 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,418 {\an1}So that’s the one thing that I want to do moving forward, 22 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,589 {\an1}to make sure I’m doing as much as I can possibly do. 23 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,136 {\an1}- Katina and Olajuwon. 24 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,263 {\an1}♪ ♪ 25 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,639 {\an1}- Our first taco night. 26 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:57,635 {\an1}- That’s what I’m talking about, baby. 27 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:00,136 {\an1}- Things got heated, and I do feel 28 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,809 {\an1}grateful we were able to get over it. 29 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,858 {\an1}- We came a long way, Katina. - I know. 30 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:07,530 {\an1}- I’m happy I met you, Katina, and I love our marriage. 31 00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:09,069 {\an1}♪ ♪ 32 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,492 {\an1}- Noi and Steve. 33 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,492 {\an1}[dramatic music] 34 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:20,655 {\an1}♪ ♪ 35 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,842 {\an1}- Lindsey and Mark. 36 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,344 {\an1}- Things are a two-way street. 37 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,295 {\an1}- There are certain discussions, 38 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,515 {\an1}but there isn’t a two-way on that. 39 00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:33,594 {\an1}- Okay. 40 00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:34,837 {\an1}If that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel. 41 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,180 {\an1}- You keep pushing me away. 42 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,854 {\an1}- I’m not trying to push you-- - You keep doing these things 43 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,683 {\an1}where I’m like, you’re not invested. 44 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,692 {\an1}[dramatic music] 45 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,612 {\an1}- Tonight, Dr. Pepper and I 46 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,149 {\an1}will sit down individually with each spouse... 47 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:49,235 {\an1}- How you doing, buddy? 48 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,488 {\an1}- To hear about any unanswered questions 49 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,532 {\an1}that might still be lingering in their marriage. 50 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,026 {\an1}- If this is how it is now, 51 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:58,328 {\an1}it could only get worse from here. 52 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,622 {\an1}- I literally almost always feel sad all the time. 53 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,459 {\an1}- It’s just, I don’t feel anything when he touches me. 54 00:02:06,168 --> 00:02:07,958 {\an1}- When I heard that, I said, 55 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:10,055 {\an1}"I don’t want you to do anything out of obligation." 56 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,552 {\an1}- But that was a dumb move. 57 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,173 {\an1}♪ ♪ 58 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,550 {\an1}- You talk down to her. 59 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,046 {\an1}- You’re pointing me out to make me look like the bad guy. 60 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,219 {\an1}But I’m really bothered. 61 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,888 {\an1}- Nothing lasts forever. 62 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,266 {\an1}- You’re telling the world that I’m not enough for you. 63 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,442 {\an1}- I don’t feel like 64 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,769 {\an1}your showing love to me-- - Okay, well, I don’t feel 65 00:02:25,853 --> 00:02:27,274 {\an1}you communicate healthy at all. 66 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,896 {\an1}I feel you’re negative, I feel you complain, 67 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:29,864 {\an1}and you nag-- - I feel like you’ve already 68 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,233 {\an1}broken my heart. 69 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,857 {\an1}- Dr. Pepper, did it help me? Not at all. 70 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,406 {\an1}- Keep talking, Olajuwon. 71 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,370 {\an1}- Feed something that’s gonna help my marriage, 72 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,371 {\an1}not keep bringing negative [bleep] to us. 73 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,453 {\an1}- Oh, my God. 74 00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,406 {\an1}[laughter] 75 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,497 {\an1}- ♪ It’s all or nothing ♪ 76 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,793 {\an1}- This is "Married at First Sight." 77 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,798 {\an1}- ♪ There’s no other way ♪ 78 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,550 {\an1}♪ ♪ 79 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,844 {\an1}♪ It’s all or nothing ♪ 80 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,136 {\an1}[soft upbeat music] 81 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,389 {\an1}- ♪ Turn it up ♪ 82 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,352 {\an1}♪ Yeah, the sun it out ♪ 83 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,930 {\an1}♪ We’re gonna make it that way ♪ 84 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,808 {\an1}♪ ♪ 85 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,103 {\an1}♪ Turn it up ♪ 86 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,058 {\an1}♪ Yeah, the sun it out ♪ 87 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,358 {\an1}♪ We’re gonna make it, okay ♪ 88 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,150 {\an1}♪ For love, for love ♪ 89 00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,784 {\an1}- Our couples are now fully immersed 90 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:15,993 {\an1}in each other’s lives. 91 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,991 {\an1}- In this moment, honestly, I’m feeling really good 92 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,243 {\an1}about my marriage. 93 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,946 {\an1}You know, Michael and I are in a really good place, 94 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,616 {\an1}we’re in a really good space. 95 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,874 {\an1}To finally have both of us be on the same page 96 00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,005 {\an1}is really great, and it feels really amazing. 97 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:32,091 {\an1}We’ve made a promise to ourself to continue to give 100%, so... 98 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,297 {\an1}We gonna see. 99 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:36,134 {\an1}- But they still need 100 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,088 {\an1}to work through their own issues 101 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,348 {\an1}in order to see things through their spouses’ eyes. 102 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,136 {\an1}- It’s been hard for us 103 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,476 {\an1}to be able to communicate effectively. 104 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,441 {\an1}So, you know, this is kind of the point 105 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,192 {\an1}where we ask ourselves the tough questions. 106 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:56,444 {\an1}In order for me to make the right decision, 107 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,110 {\an1}and for him to make the right decision, 108 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,238 {\an1}we need to be honest about what we want. 109 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:04,494 {\an1}So we need to have clear answers 110 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,499 {\an1}in order for us to make the right decision. 111 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,831 {\an1}- It’s been a very difficult week. 112 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,417 {\an1}I think for both Lindsey and myself. 113 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:16,630 {\an1}I think just navigating a healthy relationship 114 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,337 {\an1}in this marriage is where we’re both trying to get to. 115 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,798 {\an1}♪ ♪ 116 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,928 {\an1}[upbeat music] 117 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,685 {\an1}- ♪ I’m feeling I could fall for you ♪ 118 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:30,517 {\an1}♪ Ah, just dance, oh, I love the things you do ♪ 119 00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,685 {\an1}- Ready for our first food shopping adventure? 120 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:35,534 {\an1}- Yup. Let’s do it. 121 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,400 {\an1}- Food is very important in this marriage. 122 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,697 {\an1}My husband, he loves to eat, I love to eat too. 123 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:41,782 {\an1}- What do you like to eat? 124 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:42,745 {\an1}- This is our first time 125 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,534 {\an1}going food shopping with each other. 126 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:45,619 {\an1}So we’re gonna see the things 127 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,662 {\an1}that he likes, the things that I like. 128 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,118 {\an1}So we’ll see...[laughs] 129 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,576 {\an1}How this goes. 130 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,875 {\an1}- You like hot fudge? - Depends on what 131 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,711 {\an1}you’re trying to do with it. - [laughs] 132 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,496 {\an1}- What are we trying to do with the hot fudge? 133 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,380 {\an1}- We can bring this home. [laughs] 134 00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:00,878 {\an1}- Please, you better stop it. 135 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,799 {\an1}♪ ♪ 136 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:04,216 {\an1}- Come over here, Katina. 137 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:05,176 {\an1}There goes the meat. 138 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,345 {\an1}- Pork liver. - Nah. 139 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,853 {\an1}- Pork skins. 140 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,234 {\an1}Duck bacon. - Nah, it ain’t no duck bacon. 141 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,192 {\an1}- Chicken bones. - Nah, put it down. 142 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,232 {\an1}We ain’t even gonna try to think 143 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:14,525 {\an1}about eating chicken bones. - [laughs] 144 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,228 {\an1}- If you want that, let me eat the meat 145 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,278 {\an1}and I’ll just give it to you. How about that? 146 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,359 {\an1}That’s how you want to eat some bones. 147 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,356 {\an1}- Lamb patties. 148 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,527 {\an1}Ooh. 149 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,533 {\an1}- You cookin’ lamb? I don’t know. I don’t know. 150 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,617 {\an1}I don’t know. - I’m actually really good-- 151 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,039 {\an1}I’m actually really good at cooking lamb. 152 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,240 {\an1}- You said that before with other things. 153 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,500 {\an1}- You know what? - [laughs] 154 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,249 {\an1}- Are you really trying to flame my cooking right now? 155 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,423 {\an1}I’m gonna remember this moment. [laughs] 156 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,922 {\an1}- I’m a traditional guy. 157 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,423 {\an1}I like that my wife could cook. 158 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:37,885 {\an1}- [laughs] - I work hard, 159 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,264 {\an1}so I’m cool with holding down the home. 160 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,182 {\an1}But when it comes to groceries, 161 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,839 {\an1}it’s definitely something that I would have to be 162 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,087 {\an1}behind her to guide her, 163 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,510 {\an1}because I don’t think me and Katina eat the same. 164 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,268 {\an1}She’ll come back with a bunch of [bleep] I don’t want. 165 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:51,682 {\an1}[chuckles] 166 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,188 {\an1}Ooh, you ever made rib? 167 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,100 {\an1}I haven’t seen you make a good rib. 168 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,440 {\an1}- I can make a rib. 169 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,615 {\an1}- You sure? - I like ribs. 170 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:59,442 {\an1}- You mess up a man’s rib-- - Yeah, you season it 171 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:00,278 {\an1}and throw some barbecue sauce on it-- 172 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:01,442 {\an1}- You keep saying you season it. 173 00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,280 {\an1}What are you putting on it? Tell me. 174 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,575 {\an1}- [laughs] - Tell me, please. 175 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,118 {\an1}Because--[laughs] You keep saying 176 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,281 {\an1}you just throw season, like you have a chef. 177 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:10,499 {\an1}- I feel, with ribs, you put, like, pepper, salt-- 178 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,749 {\an1}I feel like, um... 179 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,462 {\an1}- Barbecue sauce. - Yeah, barb-- 180 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,082 {\an1}I said barbecue sauce. - Nope, you just went straight 181 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,707 {\an1}to pepper and salt again. - No, I said barbecue sauce 182 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:17,963 {\an1}before you picked it up. 183 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:18,996 {\an1}- [scoffs] Whatever. 184 00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:19,837 {\an1}You wanna try and get this, 185 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,421 {\an1}and try to see what you can do? 186 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,968 {\an1}- Yeah. Let’s have some ribs. 187 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,181 {\an1}- I’m gonna go with you this to do it. 188 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,339 {\an1}We’re gonna do this together. - You’re gonna do this 189 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,097 {\an1}with me? - We’re gonna do this together. 190 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:27,970 {\an1}- You know what? 191 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,306 {\an1}One day, we should do a cook-off. 192 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,851 {\an1}- You don’t want to. - So I could talk [bleep] 193 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,482 {\an1}about your food. - You don’t want to. 194 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,021 {\an1}Because then your feelings really gonna get hurt. 195 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,482 {\an1}- Yeah, okay. - You gonna say, 196 00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,904 {\an1}"Dude, this man has many talents." 197 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,401 {\an1}All my family... - Mm. 198 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:42,192 {\an1}- Like, take cooking fried chicken seriously. 199 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,607 {\an1}- Can you send me the recipe? - No. 200 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,317 {\an1}- [laughs] - You gotta beat me. 201 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:46,317 {\an1}- What? 202 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,658 {\an1}You don’t wanna help perfect my skills? 203 00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,163 {\an1}- If you beat me, you can get my family’s recipe. 204 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,415 {\an1}- [chuckles] 205 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,664 {\an1}- If you don’t beat me, then you ain’t worthy enough. 206 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,168 {\an1}- [laughs] 207 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,291 {\an1}Olajuwon knows he can only make breakfast. 208 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,878 {\an1}Like, how you gonna tell me how to make the chicken? 209 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,882 {\an1}- Are you all set? - Yeah, I’m all set. 210 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:04,674 {\an1}I don’t know if we’ll do a cook-off, 211 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,179 {\an1}but he was talking up a big game, 212 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,681 {\an1}so I might have to-- 213 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,012 {\an1}might have to make my fried chicken. 214 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:10,968 {\an1}- Thank you. 215 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,347 {\an1}- You’re welcome. Anytime. 216 00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,394 {\an1}- Ready? - I’m ready, baby. 217 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:14,395 {\an1}Let’s do it. 218 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,226 {\an1}So I could beat up on you with our chicken. 219 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:18,482 {\an1}- Whatever. 220 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,525 {\an1}[tense music] 221 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:26,200 {\an1}♪ ♪ 222 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:32,200 {\an1}- Mark, I am at a true loss with you. 223 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,197 {\an1}All I’ve asked for was consistency 224 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,329 {\an1}since the beginning. 225 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,246 {\an1}- Mm. 226 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,961 {\an1}- I feel completely drained. 227 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,046 {\an1}I told you I needed consistency. 228 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,223 {\an1}- And I’ve told you the things that I need too. 229 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,892 {\an1}- No. - I haven’t? 230 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,140 {\an1}- You haven’t been consistent, Mark. 231 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,720 {\an1}- I’ve said it for weeks, I need healthy communication, 232 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,057 {\an1}you want consistency-- - Consistency is healthy 233 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,233 {\an1}communication for me. - It’s not-- 234 00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,561 {\an1}- Talking to me is healthy communication for me. 235 00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,517 {\an1}- But that’s what’s healthy for you. 236 00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,806 {\an1}And the way that you speak to me 237 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,107 {\an1}isn’t healthy for me. 238 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,570 {\an1}I’m not somebody who quits on things. 239 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,244 {\an1}[tense music] 240 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:11,912 {\an1}But the last five weeks with Lindsey have been tough. 241 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,913 {\an1}You know, last night we had difficulty. 242 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,365 {\an1}- This is a boundary, I feel like you’ve crossed it. 243 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,286 {\an1}This bothers me. 244 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,082 {\an1}- Two-way street. - No, Mark, 245 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,207 {\an1}I take accountability. - All me, all me. 246 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:22,041 {\an1}Okay, you do-- - Anytime we had a conversation 247 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,128 {\an1}the honeymoon-- - Stop, stop, stop, stop. 248 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,001 {\an1}You don’t have to, like, 249 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,047 {\an1}grip me like that. - I’m done. 250 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:30,052 {\an1}- And even though we try to have fun and, like, 251 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,256 {\an1}forget everything, and just enjoy each other’s company... 252 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:33,636 {\an1}- There’s literally 253 00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,562 {\an1}so many cats. - There we go. 254 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,232 {\an1}Regardless of where they are, we’ve got them all. 255 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,890 {\an1}[camera clicks] Oh, my goodness, 256 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,230 {\an1}this is amazing. 257 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,725 {\an1}- It carried over to today, and she hasn’t let it go. 258 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,896 {\an1}- I feel like you’re not showing up for me at all. 259 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,107 {\an1}You’re not showing up for this marriage. 260 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,316 {\an1}I just feel like I’m tired of being 261 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,824 {\an1}the only one to show up. 262 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,076 {\an1}I just don’t feel hopeful. - Mm-hmm. 263 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,080 {\an1}I don’t wanna have unhealthy fights like this. 264 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,964 {\an1}Raising our voices triggers things for both of us. 265 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,632 {\an1}It’s very hard for us both. 266 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,631 {\an1}We have styles of how we speak to people 267 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,553 {\an1}and it’s very different. 268 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,549 {\an1}It’s what it is. - Mm-hmm. 269 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,470 {\an1}[somber music] 270 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:20,605 {\an1}♪ ♪ 271 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,323 {\an1}- I can say that I will not go negative towards you. 272 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:29,241 {\an1}And I will be very trying, in a-- 273 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:31,319 {\an1}in any situation where I feel like 274 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,156 {\an1}I have negativity coming at me, 275 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,781 {\an1}to be very calm, and try to maintain order 276 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,160 {\an1}of the conversation so it stays healthy and positive. 277 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:40,367 {\an1}I can absolutely-- - Mark... 278 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,795 {\an1}♪ ♪ 279 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:43,826 {\an1}- That’s what I can try-- - Can I ask you 280 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,498 {\an1}when you’re gonna bring positivity 281 00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:46,377 {\an1}in this relationship? 282 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,051 {\an1}’Cause I haven’t seen that yet. 283 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,009 {\an1}- Well, to me, that’s a very negative comment. 284 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,171 {\an1}So, again, let me try this again. 285 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:56,010 {\an1}I will be calm in situations when I feel that you’re being 286 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,717 {\an1}just negative towards me. [glass clinks] 287 00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,386 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. - But... 288 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:05,065 {\an1}if you can’t try equally on things that 289 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:08,186 {\an1}bother me, then this is pointless. 290 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,976 {\an1}- What are you gonna do for me, Mark? 291 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,900 {\an1}- It’s all about what I’m not doing for you. 292 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:12,856 {\an1}Is what I’ll constantly-- - No, Mark. 293 00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:13,857 {\an1}It is at this point. 294 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,278 {\an1}I feel like I gave you everything. 295 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,656 {\an1}All I asked for was consistency. 296 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,705 {\an1}Somebody who wasn’t rigid. 297 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,749 {\an1}Somebody who would make me feel appreciated and cared for, 298 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,422 {\an1}and somebody who wouldn’t walk away from me or ignore me. 299 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,541 {\an1}And that is all you have done for me. 300 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,340 {\an1}You are so inconsistent. 301 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,383 {\an1}You give me affection, you pull it all the way back. 302 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,967 {\an1}You tell me, "I’m so sorry I’ve done that. 303 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,891 {\an1}"I’ve always been in. I’m gonna communicate better. 304 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,101 {\an1}I’ll talk to you before bed." 305 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,889 {\an1}You rather text everybody else and post on Instagram, 306 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,425 {\an1}instead of message your wife back before bed. 307 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,347 {\an1}- It’s all-- 308 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,726 {\an1}- You are not showing up for me. 309 00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,903 {\an1}- It’s all--it’s all about me. - I don’t feel like 310 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:47,861 {\an1}you’re showing up for me-- - Okay, well, I don’t 311 00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,569 {\an1}feel you communicate healthy at all. 312 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,191 {\an1}I feel you’re negative. I feel you complain 313 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,147 {\an1}and you nag. - I feel like you’ve already 314 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,035 {\an1}broken my heart and you’ve, like... 315 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,864 {\an1}Walked away from this marriage. - Okay, okay. Okay. 316 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,409 {\an1}But yeah, you said several times, 317 00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:58,872 {\an1}"I’m done, I’m done. I’m out, I’m out. 318 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,242 {\an1}I’m packing bags and leave." You don’t leave. 319 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,078 {\an1}You throw this up-- throw this to me. 320 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,703 {\an1}- Mark, would you like me to leave right now? 321 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,580 {\an1}- [exhales sharply] If you--if you want. 322 00:11:05,707 --> 00:11:07,077 {\an1}- Mark, would you like me to leave right now? 323 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,248 {\an1}- All I want is healthy communication-- 324 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,126 {\an1}- Mark, would you like me to leave right now? 325 00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,421 {\an1}- If you want to-- - It’s a yes or no answer. 326 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,296 {\an1}- If you want to. - I need to know. 327 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,551 {\an1}’Cause I don’t understand you. 328 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,264 {\an1}- I think I’m trying my hardest to deal with someone 329 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:20,215 {\an1}that is very difficult for me at times. 330 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,426 {\an1}And I think that you are doing the best that you can 331 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,927 {\an1}to deal with someone who’s difficult for you. 332 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,269 {\an1}And that’s all that we can do. 333 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,154 {\an1}You’re not happy with what I’ve done for you, I’m sorry-- 334 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,110 {\an1}- I’m not happy that you didn’t communicate with me once. 335 00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,282 {\an1}- I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted. 336 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:35,571 {\an1}- Mm. 337 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,605 {\an1}- I’m not the things that you wanted in a husband. 338 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,119 {\an1}I’m not the things that you like. 339 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,070 {\an1}You’re very upset. 340 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,240 {\an1}You’re very frustrated. 341 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,407 {\an1}And I’m sorry. 342 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,286 {\an1}But there are many times I’m very difficult with you. 343 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,254 {\an1}But I ride it through as best I can, 344 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,674 {\an1}try to find it-- - No, you do not. 345 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,171 {\an1}Absolutely, that’s a lie. - Have I once 346 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,172 {\an1}packed a bag and said I’m gonna leave? 347 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,634 {\an1}- Mark, what I’m really hurt about 348 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,297 {\an1}is the fact that I don’t feel like you respect me. 349 00:11:58,426 --> 00:11:59,966 {\an1}I don’t feel like you value me. 350 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:01,354 {\an1}I don’t feel like you care for me. 351 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,139 {\an1}And I don’t feel like you show up for me. 352 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,644 {\an1}- Okay. 353 00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,596 {\an1}- ♪ Oh, no, you’re playing with fire ♪ 354 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:11,147 {\an1}♪ You’re gonna get burned, burned, burned, ♪ 355 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,862 {\an1}♪ Burned, burned ♪ 356 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:17,073 {\an1}[upbeat music] ♪ You’re gonna get burned ♪ 357 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,243 {\an1}- ♪ Oh ♪ 358 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,241 {\an1}♪ I need somebody ♪ 359 00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,993 {\an1}- Today, Pastor Cal and I 360 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:25,286 {\an1}are meeting with the couples to hear about what unanswered 361 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,121 {\an1}questions might still be lingering in their marriages. 362 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,078 {\an1}- I’m really excited to see Pastor Cal. 363 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,297 {\an1}I think it’ll be a really good conversation hopefully. 364 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,419 {\an1}- With less than three weeks left until Decision Day... 365 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,797 {\an1}- If you don’t like this, something’s wrong 366 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:39,933 {\an1}with your taste buds or something. 367 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,089 {\an1}- Right. 368 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,507 {\an1}- We wanna make sure that they’re dealing with any 369 00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:46,768 {\an1}lingering issues in order to decide whether they 370 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,439 {\an1}want to stay married or get a divorce. 371 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,099 {\an1}- ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 372 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,267 {\an1}♪ Been stuck in a dark place ♪ 373 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:56,856 {\an1}♪ I couldn’t find my way to the sun ♪ 374 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,455 {\an1}♪ I’m gonna come back stronger ♪ 375 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:02,159 {\an1}- How are you? - Pretty good, overall. 376 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,700 {\an1}So I think, all things considered, 377 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,285 {\an1}I think we’re doing wonderful. 378 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,328 {\an1}- Wow. Wow. - [laughs] Yeah. 379 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,622 {\an1}- Let’s go talk about it. - Okay. 380 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,165 {\an1}- Come on, let’s go this way. 381 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:11,618 {\an1}- Okay, let’s go sit down over here. 382 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:12,628 {\an1}- Sure thing. 383 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,499 {\an1}I haven’t been nervous in a while. 384 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,957 {\an1}But today I’m a bit nervous about talking 385 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,336 {\an1}about some of the issues me and Noi are going through with. 386 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,644 {\an1}Well, hey, thanks for meeting with me, cheers. 387 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,799 {\an1}- So let me try this out. 388 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,347 {\an1}That’s actually delicious. 389 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,681 {\an1}- Yeah? 390 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,688 {\an1}- So I’m here, though, to catch up on you. 391 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,311 {\an1}Find out what kinds of questions you have 392 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,857 {\an1}that you need answered, for Decision Day. 393 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,361 {\an1}It’s coming up. 394 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,493 {\an1}Because of how I wanna help 395 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,820 {\an1}and what’s going on, we talk about all the problems. 396 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,985 {\an1}But my favorite hackneyed phrase is, 397 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,374 {\an1}"You’re not the problem. I’m not the problem. 398 00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,162 {\an1}"The problem is the problem. 399 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,995 {\an1}and we’re here together to fix it." 400 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,831 {\an1}- First of all, let’s start with talking about 401 00:13:53,915 --> 00:13:55,536 {\an1}one challenge, because I know that you guys 402 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,165 {\an1}had some conflict about social media posting. 403 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,674 {\an1}- Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 404 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,086 {\an1}Let me give you-- let me give you 405 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,375 {\an1}a little marital advice here. - Yeah. 406 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:06,507 {\an1}- Because social media, for as beneficial as it can be, 407 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,846 {\an1}it can also cause a world of hurt in a marriage, 408 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,392 {\an1}when you’re not communicating about what 409 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,347 {\an1}you’re putting on there. - Yeah. 410 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,556 {\an1}- I’ve seen couples doing extremely well, 411 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,688 {\an1}and having-- doing all the right things. 412 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:20,694 {\an1}And just one little thing can just screw them up. 413 00:14:20,777 --> 00:14:23,197 {\an1}And they just throw away the whole thing for that-- 414 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,409 {\an1}You don’t want that. - I don’t. 415 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,871 {\an1}- The main issue is, I go on social media 416 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,871 {\an1}and I see a story about her, you know, 417 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,874 {\an1}feeling like this is not enough for her. 418 00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,126 {\an1}Like, she’s, you know, unhappy in this marriage. 419 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,040 {\an1}And I’ve made it pretty clear that social media 420 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,297 {\an1}is just, like, off the table, unacceptable. 421 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,461 {\an1}And then just recently she did another post that 422 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,220 {\an1}looked very similar to that. - What was the post? 423 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,630 {\an1}- It said, 424 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,140 {\an1}"The moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do." 425 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,473 {\an1}And this time, I’m not sure where it came from. 426 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,770 {\an1}So that’s creating a lot of unease in me right now. 427 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:58,563 {\an1}Because aside from the fact that, 428 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:01,438 {\an1}you know, she has an issue that she hasn’t expressed to me, 429 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,736 {\an1}she’s also kind of breaking a rule 430 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,280 {\an1}or a boundary that I had set with her in terms of, 431 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,574 {\an1}you know, not going to the public 432 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,407 {\an1}with our personal issues. 433 00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:10,412 {\an1}- Well, first of all, I agree with you 434 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,753 {\an1}about not going to the public, forever, 435 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,749 {\an1}because that’s just not the way life is. 436 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:18,921 {\an1}I think running to social media to say your feelings 437 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:22,591 {\an1}instead of to you, to me, that’s fear-based, you know? 438 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:25,592 {\an1}Like, she should be able to talk to you 439 00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,265 {\an1}and work it out with you. 440 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,803 {\an1}And I think the thing is, we have to figure out 441 00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:30,386 {\an1}how to make her less afraid. 442 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,267 {\an1}- I know that there’s some insecurities, 443 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,809 {\an1}and let’s just talk about what are some of the things 444 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,482 {\an1}that you-- you feel that you might 445 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,862 {\an1}need to talk to him about, without worrying about whether 446 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:41,111 {\an1}he’s gonna be upset, or worrying about 447 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,190 {\an1}whether you’re going to offend him, or any of that? 448 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,277 {\an1}- Finances. - What about finances? 449 00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,451 {\an1}What would you want to know, if you asked him a question? 450 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:51,330 {\an1}- So I wanna know, can you get a job? 451 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,621 {\an1}- [laughs] - Can you... 452 00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,203 {\an1}- Just straightforward like that. 453 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:56,289 {\an1}- Hold down a job? 454 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:59,962 {\an1}How are we gonna provide for our children? 455 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,962 {\an1}- Do you feel as though your marriage is in danger? 456 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:07,465 {\an1}- Um... - I’m hearing doubt. 457 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,220 {\an1}[tense music] 458 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:13,313 {\an1}- Yeah and-- I guess, yeah, it is fear. 459 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,179 {\an1}- Okay, fear. Okay. - Yeah. 460 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:17,636 {\an1}- He needs to understand that this is a need... 461 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,807 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. - It’s not a want. 462 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,976 {\an1}Okay. You need to feel secure in that area. 463 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:26,315 {\an1}So that’s definitely one of the questions, you know. 464 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,362 {\an1}[chuckles] Can you get a job? 465 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:32,568 {\an1}- I mean, I haven’t ever asked him that question. 466 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:33,580 {\an1}- You’ve never asked him that? 467 00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:34,741 {\an1}- We haven’t had those conversations, 468 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,329 {\an1}because I feel-- - Noi, we have to have 469 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:38,543 {\an1}those conversations. - I know. 470 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,833 {\an1}It’s so hard for me. - Why is it hard for you? 471 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,497 {\an1}- I’m just not used to that in a relationship. 472 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,836 {\an1}So it’s something that I’m having to get 473 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,212 {\an1}used to, finding my voice. 474 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,878 {\an1}- Yeah. 475 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,378 {\an1}Let’s approach this differently. 476 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:52,548 {\an1}I think you need to ask him, 477 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,677 {\an1}"How are you going to ensure 478 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:58,524 {\an1}that I feel financially secure?" 479 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,061 {\an1}- You think? - Yeah. 480 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,016 {\an1}- Those exact words, yeah. - Okay, yeah. 481 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,904 {\an1}And this is a part of how you need to be loved. 482 00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:06,574 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. - Security. 483 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,361 {\an1}♪ ♪ 484 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,574 {\an1}It’s one thing to just talk about loving someone. 485 00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:12,276 {\an1}But it’s something else to talk about loving someone 486 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,695 {\an1}the way they need to be loved. 487 00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,584 {\an1}And this is a part of how you need to be loved. 488 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:18,541 {\an1}- Yeah. - Your need-- 489 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,580 {\an1}your need is deep because of your history. 490 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:21,875 {\an1}- Yeah. 491 00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,417 {\an1}- And you can’t discount that at all. 492 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:29,382 {\an1}- One thing that may be causing her fear 493 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:34,595 {\an1}is you have not taken a job to make sure she feels good 494 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,600 {\an1}about you as an economic partner. 495 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,062 {\an1}♪ ♪ 496 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,981 {\an1}And I think she’s voiced that 497 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:44,102 {\an1}she needs some stability in her partner. 498 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:45,228 {\an1}♪ ♪ 499 00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,274 {\an1}So what about this? 500 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,898 {\an1}Here’s what I wanna plan with you. 501 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,445 {\an1}Here’s what it would produce. 502 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,238 {\an1}How do you feel about that? 503 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,821 {\an1}You know, I’m thinking of the future with you. 504 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,119 {\an1}Will this make you feel secure? 505 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,451 {\an1}You know, so I think that’s 506 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,328 {\an1}one of your first questions to deal with. 507 00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,464 {\an1}And I think the second question is, 508 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,960 {\an1}you know, basically, can you work out 509 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:08,673 {\an1}the issues between us, between us, 510 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:11,966 {\an1}and not go outside the relationship? 511 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,301 {\an1}- So yes, that sounds great to me. 512 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:17,296 {\an1}I think I wanna do whatever it takes to create an environment 513 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:21,098 {\an1}for her that she can trust, it feels safe, 514 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,813 {\an1}so that, you know, when we are 515 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,353 {\an1}in these situations, she does have the tools 516 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:27,819 {\an1}or the trust that she can express it, and I’ll, like, 517 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,978 {\an1}have a better way of dealing with our issues. 518 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,609 {\an1}But it sets off alarms in my head, right? 519 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,705 {\an1}Like, if this is how it is now, 520 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:37,162 {\an1}it could only get worse from here, you know, those are-- 521 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:38,991 {\an1}these are these fears that are kind of coming up, 522 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:40,656 {\an1}because, you know, it doesn’t fit my 523 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,656 {\an1}vision of what this was supposed to be, 524 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,368 {\an1}and it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. 525 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:45,708 {\an1}They’re almost like-- 526 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,333 {\an1}I don’t wanna say taken advantage of, 527 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,208 {\an1}but it makes me feel like I’m being looked at 528 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:50,497 {\an1}as like a machine to facilitate 529 00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:54,218 {\an1}somebody else’s desires, as opposed to working together, 530 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,642 {\an1}and creating a future that we both see. 531 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,509 {\an1}- I mean, I think a lot of what Noi does is fear-based. 532 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,517 {\an1}If we could calm her fears, 533 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,059 {\an1}so she can be more of a companion, 534 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,144 {\an1}and not throw things out to think, maybe, 535 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:08,017 {\an1}freak you out, she would be better off. 536 00:19:08,105 --> 00:19:10,395 {\an1}♪ ♪ 537 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,566 {\an1}- ♪ It’s time to be strong. ♪ 538 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:21,577 {\an1}♪ It’s time to rise above it ♪ 539 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,952 {\an1}- Who are you meeting with? - Dr. Pepper. 540 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,748 {\an1}- I’m seeing Pastor Cal. - Should be interesting. 541 00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,714 {\an1}- I don’t really know what they’re gonna talk about. 542 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,174 {\an1}I’m just gonna go with the flow. 543 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,752 {\an1}Like, what y’all got to say? 544 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,299 {\an1}To be honest, I don’t know 545 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:34,971 {\an1}if I like meeting with these experts too much. 546 00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:36,589 {\an1}Talking about your feelings all the time, 547 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,507 {\an1}and yeah, I signed up for it, but it’s just like, 548 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,434 {\an1}damn, like, it’s just a lot. 549 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,814 {\an1}[laughs] It’s too much. 550 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:43,930 {\an1}- Hey, young lady. 551 00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,348 {\an1}- Hi, Pastor Cal. 552 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,774 {\an1}How are you? - How are you, my dear? 553 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,354 {\an1}- Good. - It’s good to see you. 554 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,437 {\an1}- It’s good to see you, too. 555 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,983 {\an1}- I wanna talk to you about some things. 556 00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,066 {\an1}Come along with me. 557 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,780 {\an1}You celebrate your guys’ one month anniversary. 558 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,862 {\an1}Tell me, how’s marriage? - Marriage is good? 559 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,657 {\an1}You know, like, I feel like any normal couple, 560 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:03,491 {\an1}we get into our little, like, conflicts. 561 00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,327 {\an1}- I mean, well, you’re married, I don’t expect 562 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,333 {\an1}everything to be, like, just-- - Perfect. 563 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,005 {\an1}- As long as it’s not just one way. 564 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,793 {\an1}As long as you both are voicing your opinions 565 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,168 {\an1}with respect. - Mm-hmm. 566 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,843 {\an1}- Tell me how things are going now. 567 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,961 {\an1}- Um, you know, we had a conflict 568 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,720 {\an1}where he saw I had a dating app on my phone. 569 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:19,841 {\an1}- If your friend was married, 570 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,507 {\an1}and they told you "I have this on the phone," 571 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:22,885 {\an1}would you think that’s [bleep] up? 572 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:24,512 {\an1}Answer it. - Of course, but-- 573 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:26,678 {\an1}- Okay. So that’s all you have to hear, Katina. 574 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:27,887 {\an1}- I didn’t know it was there. 575 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,647 {\an1}I deleted the account. 576 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,610 {\an1}But I kept the app on there. - Sure, sure. 577 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,859 {\an1}- So he saw the app, and-- 578 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:35,941 {\an1}and then for me, I was just upset 579 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,686 {\an1}with how he approached it, like-- 580 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:40,068 {\an1}- Yeah, I heard some things. We keep informed. 581 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:44,196 {\an1}- Yeah. So, you know, he got, you know, loud. 582 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,585 {\an1}- You can roll your eyes-- - I’m rolling my eyes... 583 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,751 {\an1}- But it’s okay! It’s okay-- - Because you’re yelling at me. 584 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:48,660 {\an1}That’s why I’m rolling my eyes! 585 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,039 {\an1}- So then we don’t need to talk! 586 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,504 {\an1}- For him, like, seeing that was like a trigger. 587 00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:55,837 {\an1}For me, it was just, if there’s a issue... 588 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:56,843 {\an1}- Embarrassing you? - Don’t do it in front-- 589 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,554 {\an1}- Yeah, don’t do it in front of people. 590 00:20:58,632 --> 00:20:59,842 {\an1}Like, don’t let that happen again. 591 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,637 {\an1}- That’s one question that would be good 592 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,719 {\an1}for you guys to just to uncover. 593 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:06,064 {\an1}You know, ask him about that trigger. 594 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:07,520 {\an1}There’s a reason that a person 595 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,311 {\an1}does stuff like that. - Mm-hmm. 596 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:12,983 {\an1}- This is your time to find out things about him. 597 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,023 {\an1}’Cause he’s had some hard times. 598 00:21:15,149 --> 00:21:17,229 {\an1}Ask him, are there deep or private 599 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:19,858 {\an1}things about him that has made him who he is 600 00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:22,697 {\an1}that he hasn’t shared? - Okay. 601 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,453 {\an1}- Knowing who he is is going to help you 602 00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,744 {\an1}to understand why he acts the way he does. 603 00:21:27,828 --> 00:21:28,868 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. Do you understand 604 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:29,996 {\an1}what I’m saying? - Yeah. 605 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:35,417 {\an1}- Tell me how you feel about you guys’ intimacy, 606 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:36,593 {\an1}and I know y’all ain’t 607 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:38,420 {\an1}advanced it yet. - Yeah. 608 00:21:38,506 --> 00:21:39,796 {\an1}- What’s up? 609 00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:42,262 {\an1}- Um... - I don’t want no details, 610 00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:43,393 {\an1}but what’s up? - I know, I-- 611 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:46,601 {\an1}no, we’re definitely attracted to each other. 612 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,850 {\an1}- How do you know he’s attracted to you? 613 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:50,392 {\an1}- He’s--Pastor Cal, I thought you don’t want details. 614 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,768 {\an1}- Okay. [both laugh] 615 00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:55,113 {\an1}Give me details in a way 616 00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:57,439 {\an1}that I won’t blush. - Okay. 617 00:21:57,525 --> 00:22:00,865 {\an1}I’ll be, like, getting ready in the bathroom, 618 00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:03,615 {\an1}and he’ll come over and, like, hit my butt or, like, 619 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,067 {\an1}just start, like, kissing on my neck. 620 00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:06,369 {\an1}Does that sound like attraction? 621 00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,330 {\an1}- Yeah. Well, yeah. - [laughs] 622 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,910 {\an1}- But that hasn’t led to anything? 623 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,788 {\an1}- No, there’s a certain feeling that I wanna feel. 624 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:16,924 {\an1}Like, oh, my God, like, I’m in love with you. 625 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:20,514 {\an1}And I wanna be able to genuinely know that I have 626 00:22:20,589 --> 00:22:22,629 {\an1}real, valid feelings from you. - Sure. 627 00:22:23,717 --> 00:22:24,717 {\an1}- Becoming what? 628 00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,307 {\an1}It’s like when you-- - I think I might now. 629 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:30,889 {\an1}- [laughs] - I didn’t before. 630 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:36,477 {\an1}Is when the sex is so good that lust takes over. 631 00:22:36,564 --> 00:22:38,324 {\an1}And you can’t think with a clear mind. 632 00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:40,979 {\an1}Then you think you’ve got all these feelings, 633 00:22:41,068 --> 00:22:43,108 {\an1}and then when that fades, you’re like, 634 00:22:43,237 --> 00:22:44,777 {\an1}"I didn’t even like him." 635 00:22:44,905 --> 00:22:46,655 {\an1}[both laugh] - Okay. 636 00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:49,580 {\an1}Okay. Here’s my thing, though. 637 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,790 {\an1}In marriage, lust is good. 638 00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:55,963 {\an1}- Okay. - You want to be dizzy, 639 00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:58,343 {\an1}in your-- [both laugh] 640 00:22:58,419 --> 00:22:59,499 {\an1}Okay? - Yeah. 641 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,377 {\an1}There’s nothing wrong with that in marriage, 642 00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:03,013 {\an1}because you two are committed. 643 00:23:03,090 --> 00:23:06,300 {\an1}The only reason that you would have that caution 644 00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:09,347 {\an1}in dating is because you don’t know 645 00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:13,020 {\an1}for sure whether or not this thing’s gonna work. 646 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,270 {\an1}Honestly, do you have doubts? 647 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:21,113 {\an1}- Well, yeah, there’s always gonna be something in my mind. 648 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:23,571 {\an1}I’m so used to relationships just ending 649 00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:26,662 {\an1}for whatever reason, that that’s just naturally 650 00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:29,030 {\an1}in the back of my head, that nothing lasts forever. 651 00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:31,446 {\an1}Like, that’s always just there. 652 00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:35,115 {\an1}I am just guarding my heart as I feel like anybody should do, 653 00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:38,205 {\an1}especially in a situation where you marry a stranger. 654 00:23:38,292 --> 00:23:40,542 {\an1}- In your relationship, if you can see an out somewhere 655 00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,668 {\an1}in the future, there’s a possibility that it 656 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,206 {\an1}won’t work for some other reason, 657 00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,048 {\an1}yeah, it’s gonna-- 658 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,382 {\an1}it’s gonna affect your present. 659 00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:48,387 {\an1}That’s a single mindset. 660 00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:50,679 {\an1}- Mm. - It’s not a married mindset. 661 00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:52,894 {\an1}But I still believe the reason you’re not going there 662 00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:54,773 {\an1}is because there’s still some doubt. 663 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:02,520 {\an1}[upbeat music] 664 00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:03,780 {\an1}- Hi there, Olajuwon. 665 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,689 {\an1}Nice to see you again. - How you doing, Dr. Pepper? 666 00:24:05,819 --> 00:24:08,069 {\an1}How you doing? - I’m doing well, thank you. 667 00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:10,565 {\an1}I’ve been getting reports about Olajuwon’s 668 00:24:10,658 --> 00:24:13,288 {\an1}harsh communication style for weeks now. 669 00:24:13,369 --> 00:24:15,909 {\an1}Now, this could be just the dynamic of their marriage, 670 00:24:15,996 --> 00:24:18,116 {\an1}but intention is everything. 671 00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:20,917 {\an1}I need to know where Olajuwon is coming from 672 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:23,301 {\an1}when he’s tough with Katina. 673 00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:25,589 {\an1}I’m looking forward to talking to you. 674 00:24:25,673 --> 00:24:28,593 {\an1}And I want to check in on what’s been happening. 675 00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:29,926 {\an1}- Okay. 676 00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:32,220 {\an1}- We’re trying to find out what you need 677 00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:34,636 {\an1}to make a decision on Decision Day. 678 00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:38,773 {\an1}But what I need to know is how you feel things are going. 679 00:24:38,852 --> 00:24:40,602 {\an1}- I feel like we’re doing well. 680 00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:42,438 {\an1}Me and Katina have so much in common, 681 00:24:42,523 --> 00:24:44,273 {\an1}like, as in character. 682 00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,648 {\an1}Even when we have, like, dull moments, 683 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,445 {\an1}it’s like we find the humor. 684 00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,569 {\an1}We’re very comfortable with each other. 685 00:24:50,698 --> 00:24:52,818 {\an1}We care. I know she cares about me. 686 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,408 {\an1}And I definitely care for her. 687 00:24:54,535 --> 00:24:57,125 {\an1}- So tell me, what improvements 688 00:24:57,204 --> 00:24:59,294 {\an1}would you like to see in your marriage 689 00:24:59,373 --> 00:25:00,963 {\an1}that would make you closer and better? 690 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:02,631 {\an1}- Just keep being you, Katina. 691 00:25:02,710 --> 00:25:03,960 {\an1}Keep being vulnerable. 692 00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:06,384 {\an1}Keep expressing who you are, 693 00:25:06,463 --> 00:25:07,963 {\an1}show me that you’re solid, 694 00:25:08,048 --> 00:25:11,468 {\an1}that I have a partner who’s not a shadow. 695 00:25:11,552 --> 00:25:13,142 {\an1}Like, sometimes I’ll say something, 696 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:14,890 {\an1}and I really just want a real opinion from her. 697 00:25:14,972 --> 00:25:16,472 {\an1}And I feel like she’ll give me an opinion 698 00:25:16,557 --> 00:25:18,137 {\an1}that she thinks that I like. 699 00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:19,975 {\an1}- So you want her to feel secure enough 700 00:25:20,060 --> 00:25:21,690 {\an1}to give her own opinions? - Yes, yeah. 701 00:25:21,770 --> 00:25:23,810 {\an1}- Well, it might be reassuring, saying, you know, 702 00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,977 {\an1}"I don’t mind if you change-- if you differ from me." 703 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:27,356 {\an1}- That’s one of the things. 704 00:25:27,443 --> 00:25:29,493 {\an1}That’s one of the things. - Anything else? 705 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,490 {\an1}- Something that really concerns me 706 00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:33,112 {\an1}I would say, is she had a dating app 707 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,450 {\an1}on her phone. 708 00:25:34,575 --> 00:25:35,995 {\an1}And... [clears throat] 709 00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:38,156 {\an1}She wasn’t using it. [sighs] 710 00:25:38,245 --> 00:25:39,955 {\an1}But it’s scary, ’cause it’s like, 711 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,710 {\an1}that should have been gone 712 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:43,790 {\an1}right before you put your ring on, you know. 713 00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,837 {\an1}- I did hear about that incident. 714 00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:49,549 {\an1}And there was something about it that really upset me, 715 00:25:49,631 --> 00:25:51,551 {\an1}which is you guy-- that you were really 716 00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:53,433 {\an1}lovey-dovey throughout the dinner. 717 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:56,760 {\an1}And then at the very end, you said, 718 00:25:56,847 --> 00:25:59,557 {\an1}"There’s something I’m really upset about with you." 719 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:01,691 {\an1}And you said it in a way 720 00:26:01,769 --> 00:26:04,189 {\an1}that everybody was kind of taken aback. 721 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:06,861 {\an1}- Because I feel like I’ve been fiddled and been fooled, 722 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,360 {\an1}and I feel like, "Is this [bleep] real?" 723 00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:10,192 {\an1}So it’s really-- it’s something I don’t wanna 724 00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,857 {\an1}address, because by addressing it right here on camera, 725 00:26:11,945 --> 00:26:13,355 {\an1}it could get ugly. 726 00:26:13,447 --> 00:26:17,827 {\an1}- So what about how you talk to her? 727 00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:22,831 {\an1}The impression I get is that you talk down to her. 728 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:25,326 {\an1}- Do I get upset? Absolutely, absolutely. 729 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,789 {\an1}And do I get a little stern? Absolutely, absolutely. 730 00:26:27,878 --> 00:26:29,088 {\an1}I’ll take full credit. 731 00:26:29,171 --> 00:26:31,171 {\an1}But do I talk down to my wife? 732 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:32,588 {\an1}Absolutely not. 733 00:26:32,674 --> 00:26:34,014 {\an1}Do I make her feel belittled? 734 00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,054 {\an1}Absolutely not. 735 00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:37,385 {\an1}- Did you apologize for embarrassing her? 736 00:26:37,471 --> 00:26:38,891 {\an1}- Of course, of course, of course. 737 00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:40,272 {\an1}I--we had a real conversation. 738 00:26:40,349 --> 00:26:41,729 {\an1}I just told her that 739 00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,229 {\an1}I take this process very serious. 740 00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:45,350 {\an1}If I didn’t, I wouldn’t care. 741 00:26:45,479 --> 00:26:48,769 {\an1}- I wonder if you’ve examined your tone, 742 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,567 {\an1}in terms of how you do talk to her, 743 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:51,861 {\an1}because you say it’s good, 744 00:26:51,985 --> 00:26:55,775 {\an1}but I have heard that you told her 745 00:26:55,864 --> 00:26:58,874 {\an1}that she’s got no life skills, 746 00:26:58,992 --> 00:26:59,782 {\an1}that she’s in-- 747 00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:02,788 {\an1}behind you in terms of maturation. 748 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:04,411 {\an1}So I’d like to hear your side of that. 749 00:27:04,498 --> 00:27:05,668 {\an1}- Um... 750 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:08,079 {\an1}anybody wants to say something, they could say it to me, 751 00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:09,748 {\an1}’cause I don’t play those games. 752 00:27:09,837 --> 00:27:10,707 {\an1}And this is my life. I think-- 753 00:27:10,838 --> 00:27:13,088 {\an1}I don’t even think it’s funny, so-- 754 00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:14,593 {\an1}- Oh, I don’t think that’s funny at all, either. 755 00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,725 {\an1}- No, it’s not funny at all. [scoffs] 756 00:27:16,844 --> 00:27:18,764 {\an1}- Dr. Pepper, like I-- - I wanna know, that’s all. 757 00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,716 {\an1}- You’re pointing me out to make me look like the bad guy. 758 00:27:20,848 --> 00:27:22,598 {\an1}But I’m really bothered about all this. 759 00:27:22,683 --> 00:27:23,603 {\an1}I’m really serious. 760 00:27:23,684 --> 00:27:25,604 {\an1}If she feels that I treat her that way, 761 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,556 {\an1}then she should say no on Decision Day. 762 00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:31,189 {\an1}[dramatic music] 763 00:27:34,736 --> 00:27:35,566 {\an1}- You told her that 764 00:27:35,696 --> 00:27:37,356 {\an1}she’s got no life skills, 765 00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:38,277 {\an1}that she’s in-- 766 00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:41,025 {\an1}behind you in terms of maturation. 767 00:27:41,118 --> 00:27:43,038 {\an1}- You’re pointing me out to make me look like the bad guy. 768 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,540 {\an1}But I’m really bothered about all this. 769 00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:46,622 {\an1}I’m really serious. 770 00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:49,037 {\an1}If she feels that I treat her that way, 771 00:27:49,126 --> 00:27:51,536 {\an1}then she should say no on Decision Day. 772 00:27:51,628 --> 00:27:52,958 {\an1}[tense music] 773 00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:54,956 {\an1}Dr. Pepper saying the he said, she said. 774 00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:56,218 {\an1}I’m here for my marriage. 775 00:27:56,300 --> 00:27:57,800 {\an1}So for her to say that I’m not, 776 00:27:57,885 --> 00:28:00,225 {\an1}it’s totally disrespectful, 100%. 777 00:28:00,304 --> 00:28:03,394 {\an1}This is a spit in my face. 778 00:28:03,473 --> 00:28:05,483 {\an1}- But how would you talk to her in a way 779 00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:07,099 {\an1}that doesn’t feel demeaning? 780 00:28:07,227 --> 00:28:08,897 {\an1}[soft music] 781 00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:12,071 {\an1}I mean, if you feel that she is lacking some 782 00:28:12,149 --> 00:28:15,739 {\an1}of those skills, how about finding new ways 783 00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:18,359 {\an1}to talk about things that you two have to work on together? 784 00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:22,580 {\an1}- We’re talking about week one, week two, 785 00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:24,409 {\an1}when we’re talking about cooking and stuff. 786 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:25,946 {\an1}And I--I did feel that way. 787 00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:27,749 {\an1}Absolutely, absolutely. - Okay. 788 00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:30,251 {\an1}Do I feel that way now, towards my wife? 789 00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,915 {\an1}Absolutely not. She has shown me that she-- 790 00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:34,172 {\an1}she can handle her own. 791 00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:37,424 {\an1}I was going the wrong strategy, at the beginning of this. 792 00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:40,257 {\an1}I thought if you talk about the things that doesn’t work, 793 00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:42,604 {\an1}that’s bothering you, that it would make it better. 794 00:28:42,679 --> 00:28:45,929 {\an1}Katina doesn’t work like that. My wife works the opposite. 795 00:28:46,016 --> 00:28:47,676 {\an1}It makes her bundle up and just-- 796 00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:49,598 {\an1}I don’t wanna express myself. 797 00:28:49,686 --> 00:28:51,936 {\an1}Took me a little bit to catch on. 798 00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:55,114 {\an1}I take full responsibility. 799 00:28:55,234 --> 00:28:57,034 {\an1}- How does it feel now then? 800 00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,150 {\an1}- My heart is big for Katina. 801 00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:01,449 {\an1}I tell her, "I see so much growth in you." 802 00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,123 {\an1}I mean, even I think the process, 803 00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:07,452 {\an1}just itself, not me, has made my wife grow up. 804 00:29:07,537 --> 00:29:09,117 {\an1}So when we have these conversations, 805 00:29:09,248 --> 00:29:12,128 {\an1}away from everybody, and it’s the most realest 806 00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:13,539 {\an1}conversation, and then the next day, 807 00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:17,207 {\an1}it’s like, brand new, we don’t dwell on things, Dr. Pepper. 808 00:29:17,297 --> 00:29:19,297 {\an1}I just hope that we can stay more consistent 809 00:29:19,383 --> 00:29:21,433 {\an1}on just staying on a high route. 810 00:29:23,553 --> 00:29:26,973 {\an1}- Okay, let’s say right now, if Decision Day was tomorrow, 811 00:29:27,057 --> 00:29:28,477 {\an1}you’d say... 812 00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:30,138 {\an1}- I--[scoffs] 813 00:29:30,227 --> 00:29:31,637 {\an1}I don’t want to give an answer right now. 814 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:32,480 {\an1}I feel like it’s just too-- 815 00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:34,312 {\an1}it’s still got a lot of time. 816 00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:36,148 {\an1}But at the same time, 817 00:29:36,275 --> 00:29:37,485 {\an1}if she didn’t want to be with me 818 00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:38,817 {\an1}at the end of this, would I be sad? 819 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:40,072 {\an1}Absolutely. 820 00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:41,653 {\an1}- Okay. 821 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,320 {\an1}♪ ♪ 822 00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:46,488 {\an1}- ♪ The way you make me feel ♪ 823 00:29:46,576 --> 00:29:49,406 {\an1}♪ I’m hoping this is real ♪ 824 00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:53,996 {\an1}- How was your chat with Dr. Pepper? 825 00:29:54,084 --> 00:29:55,924 {\an1}- It went really well. 826 00:29:56,003 --> 00:29:57,503 {\an1}It was just nice to, 827 00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:59,167 {\an1}I don’t know, just... 828 00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:02,178 {\an1}talk to an expert, and just say how you feel. 829 00:30:02,259 --> 00:30:04,509 {\an1}- Are they things that we talked about together? 830 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:07,256 {\an1}Or are these things that you have questions in your mind 831 00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:10,677 {\an1}about that you haven’t talked, um, with me about? 832 00:30:10,767 --> 00:30:12,517 {\an1}- A little bit of both. 833 00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:15,522 {\an1}I guess, like, the main thing for me that, 834 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:18,895 {\an1}you know, the unanswered question that had come up 835 00:30:19,026 --> 00:30:22,736 {\an1}just recently was just, you know, that more recent 836 00:30:22,863 --> 00:30:25,703 {\an1}social media post we haven’t been able to talk about. 837 00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:28,124 {\an1}And like, you know, it was upsetting to me. 838 00:30:28,201 --> 00:30:29,741 {\an1}♪ ♪ 839 00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:31,540 {\an1}- Which social media post? 840 00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:35,041 {\an1}- "When you start to feel like you deserve better, you do." 841 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,377 {\an1}- Yeah. 842 00:30:36,501 --> 00:30:38,381 {\an1}- I guess my question for you is, 843 00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:40,712 {\an1}why is it so important to broadcast to the world 844 00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,377 {\an1}that we’re in distress? 845 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:46,637 {\an1}♪ ♪ 846 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,060 {\an1}- Yeah, I can see how you would feel that way. 847 00:30:49,181 --> 00:30:53,981 {\an1}But that post wasn’t really directed at you. 848 00:30:54,061 --> 00:30:57,231 {\an1}- Like--like, come on. 849 00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:59,066 {\an1}You posted, "You deserve better." 850 00:30:59,149 --> 00:31:00,569 {\an1}So whether or not it’s about me, 851 00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:03,572 {\an1}people are gonna assume that it’s something 852 00:31:03,653 --> 00:31:05,153 {\an1}that you’re going through now that you’re married-- 853 00:31:05,238 --> 00:31:06,408 {\an1}- It wasn’t about you. 854 00:31:06,490 --> 00:31:08,580 {\an1}But sometimes I feel that way, 855 00:31:08,658 --> 00:31:10,988 {\an1}in our marriage. 856 00:31:11,078 --> 00:31:14,408 {\an1}- [breathes deeply] 857 00:31:16,249 --> 00:31:18,629 {\an1}Like, that’s like-- that’s a hurtful thing to say. 858 00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:19,672 {\an1}- I mean, I understand that you’re 859 00:31:19,753 --> 00:31:21,463 {\an1}upset about it, and you’re frustrated. 860 00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:23,758 {\an1}And one of the things that we talked about 861 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,180 {\an1}with, like, Pastor Cal, was, like, social media, 862 00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:29,429 {\an1}and he said that, you know, when you’re married, 863 00:31:29,513 --> 00:31:31,263 {\an1}if you’re having issues or whatever, 864 00:31:31,348 --> 00:31:32,768 {\an1}you know, that’s not really something 865 00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:37,439 {\an1}that you should open up to the public. 866 00:31:37,521 --> 00:31:40,611 {\an1}So like, I totally understand what you’re saying-- 867 00:31:40,690 --> 00:31:42,780 {\an1}I understand why you’re upset, I understand what he’s saying, 868 00:31:42,859 --> 00:31:46,699 {\an1}but at the same time, like, it’s, like, my social media. 869 00:31:46,780 --> 00:31:49,120 {\an1}So, like, I have a choice to do that if I feel like it. 870 00:31:49,241 --> 00:31:50,951 {\an1}- Did you not agree with Pastor Cal? 871 00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:52,954 {\an1}Like, I feel like he-- - I mean, I agree with him, 872 00:31:53,036 --> 00:31:55,536 {\an1}but he’s separate from me. 873 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,622 {\an1}You’re separate from me, 874 00:31:56,748 --> 00:31:59,458 {\an1}I’m my own person. I can make these decisions. 875 00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:02,883 {\an1}So like, yeah, I see his perspective, 876 00:32:02,963 --> 00:32:04,673 {\an1}I see your perspective, respect it. 877 00:32:05,549 --> 00:32:07,549 {\an1}But like-- - Do you respect it though? 878 00:32:07,634 --> 00:32:10,224 {\an1}♪ ♪ 879 00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:14,308 {\an1}Like, I’m not-- I’m not walking away from this 880 00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,643 {\an1}conversation with feeling comfortable 881 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:18,478 {\an1}that it’s not gonna happen again. 882 00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:19,733 {\an1}I don’t know how else to say this. 883 00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:21,523 {\an1}This is not what I w-- like, it’s not 884 00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:23,568 {\an1}something that I want in a relationship. 885 00:32:23,650 --> 00:32:26,150 {\an1}It goes against everything I believe in. 886 00:32:26,236 --> 00:32:27,486 {\an1}I mean, I need-- - I mean, we have 887 00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,162 {\an1}very different perspectives. 888 00:32:30,907 --> 00:32:33,407 {\an1}We agree to disagree. [chuckles] 889 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:35,333 {\an1}- You’re telling the world that I’m not enough for you. 890 00:32:35,412 --> 00:32:39,502 {\an1}Like, it doesn’t make me feel like we’re on the same team. 891 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:43,003 {\an1}Like, I’m curious to know what more you deserve. 892 00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:45,166 {\an1}Can we maybe go that route now? 893 00:32:45,255 --> 00:32:47,265 {\an1}I know it’s something that’s been weighing on you. 894 00:32:48,008 --> 00:32:49,008 {\an1}What is it? 895 00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:50,264 {\an1}What more do you deserve? 896 00:32:50,343 --> 00:32:52,183 {\an1}Like what--like, what can I do? 897 00:32:52,262 --> 00:32:54,012 {\an1}Or what can somebody do? 898 00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:56,427 {\an1}[soft music] 899 00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:58,176 {\an1}- Well, I guess that’s one of the things that 900 00:32:58,268 --> 00:33:00,848 {\an1}Pastor Cal and I talked about too. 901 00:33:00,937 --> 00:33:05,527 {\an1}So, like, I need a partner who can show me 902 00:33:05,609 --> 00:33:07,939 {\an1}that they’re, like, financially secure. 903 00:33:08,028 --> 00:33:10,108 {\an1}I didn’t have, like, money as a child. 904 00:33:10,197 --> 00:33:12,367 {\an1}Like, we were just always so poor. 905 00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:16,039 {\an1}Like, everything I have, like, I just had to work so hard. 906 00:33:16,119 --> 00:33:18,539 {\an1}And, like, everyone in my family works so hard. 907 00:33:18,663 --> 00:33:20,543 {\an1}And, like, for us, it’s, like, not a big deal to be like, 908 00:33:20,665 --> 00:33:24,085 {\an1}"No, we wanna work hard, because we want so much more." 909 00:33:24,211 --> 00:33:27,381 {\an1}And I’m not a complacent person. 910 00:33:27,506 --> 00:33:28,796 {\an1}I know exactly what I want. 911 00:33:28,882 --> 00:33:30,382 {\an1}And I usually get it. 912 00:33:30,467 --> 00:33:32,717 {\an1}It’s hard for me, because I love you. 913 00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:35,054 {\an1}But at the same time, I feel like, you know, 914 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:37,100 {\an1}you’re just so relaxed about, like, finances. 915 00:33:37,224 --> 00:33:38,894 {\an1}You’re like, "Oh, we’ll just, like, figure it out." 916 00:33:38,975 --> 00:33:43,395 {\an1}And, like, for me, like, it’s just really unnerving. 917 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:44,560 {\an1}Like, how-- 918 00:33:44,648 --> 00:33:47,148 {\an1}how are you going to... 919 00:33:48,068 --> 00:33:50,818 {\an1}Make me feel financially secure? 920 00:33:50,904 --> 00:33:52,574 {\an1}How are you gonna show up for me? 921 00:33:52,656 --> 00:33:55,316 {\an1}- One of the best parts of meeting with Dr. Pepper 922 00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:57,078 {\an1}is, like, you know, just talking about 923 00:33:57,160 --> 00:34:00,580 {\an1}having a full-time job, or having a plan to make money. 924 00:34:00,664 --> 00:34:01,914 {\an1}Let’s have that conversation. 925 00:34:01,998 --> 00:34:04,748 {\an1}Let’s sit down and talk about the options that we could 926 00:34:04,834 --> 00:34:08,254 {\an1}potentially go down, like, whatever is acceptable, 927 00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:10,918 {\an1}whatever seems like that would make sense for us. 928 00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:13,089 {\an1}I’m all for that type of planning. 929 00:34:13,176 --> 00:34:14,505 {\an1}And I want to give you that security. 930 00:34:14,594 --> 00:34:16,434 {\an1}♪ ♪ 931 00:34:16,554 --> 00:34:18,775 {\an1}I wanna sit down and make that plan. 932 00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:21,928 {\an1}But do you feel like once it is set and worked on, 933 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:22,980 {\an1}that you’ll feel-- 934 00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:25,483 {\an1}You know, you’ll get what you need from me 935 00:34:25,605 --> 00:34:28,264 {\an1}to trust and believe in my husband, you know? 936 00:34:28,358 --> 00:34:30,108 {\an1}- Yeah, I think-- 937 00:34:30,193 --> 00:34:32,283 {\an1}I think it’ll take time. 938 00:34:32,362 --> 00:34:35,112 {\an1}You know, I think I need to see 939 00:34:35,197 --> 00:34:39,118 {\an1}what his plan is before I feel secure. 940 00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:41,952 {\an1}- ♪ If I get to love, love, love, love ♪ 941 00:34:42,038 --> 00:34:44,288 {\an1}♪ Love you again ♪ 942 00:34:47,793 --> 00:34:49,344 {\an1}- ♪ I look around ♪ 943 00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:50,712 {\an1}♪ And no one’s there ♪ 944 00:34:50,797 --> 00:34:52,877 {\an1}♪ Just me, myself, and I on a cold day ♪ 945 00:34:52,966 --> 00:34:55,545 {\an1}♪ So what can I do, yeah ♪ 946 00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:57,845 {\an1}- So right now, I’m about to go sit down with Pastor Cal, 947 00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,561 {\an1}and hopefully he gives me 948 00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:02,229 {\an1}some words of wisdom on my marriage 949 00:35:02,309 --> 00:35:04,059 {\an1}and the difficulties that we’re going through. 950 00:35:04,144 --> 00:35:08,064 {\an1}I would say right now I’m very mentally drained. 951 00:35:08,148 --> 00:35:11,028 {\an1}And I’m exhausted. 952 00:35:11,151 --> 00:35:15,571 {\an1}My biggest fear in this moment is that nothing’s gonna change, 953 00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:17,735 {\an1}every day, over the next three weeks 954 00:35:17,824 --> 00:35:19,454 {\an1}and that we’re gonna keep on doing 955 00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:21,164 {\an1}the same things to each other. 956 00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:23,414 {\an1}And I’m gonna get to a point of, 957 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:25,996 {\an1}I don’t have an answer, so I’m just gonna say no. 958 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:28,132 {\an1}Hopefully he says something that resonates, 959 00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:31,249 {\an1}where it helps me navigate a direction to go. 960 00:35:31,338 --> 00:35:33,088 {\an1}Because right now I’m kind of going down the middle. 961 00:35:33,173 --> 00:35:36,183 {\an1}I don’t know which way to go in this marriage. 962 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:38,965 {\an1}- How you doing, buddy? - I’m okay. 963 00:35:39,054 --> 00:35:41,224 {\an1}[both laugh] Trying my best. 964 00:35:41,348 --> 00:35:42,928 {\an1}- There are some realities that I came here 965 00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:43,806 {\an1}to talk to you about. 966 00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:45,562 {\an1}I wanna talk about how you react, 967 00:35:45,685 --> 00:35:47,395 {\an1}how you respond. - Mm. 968 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,230 {\an1}- Her delivery... 969 00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:51,437 {\an1}Okay. 970 00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:53,824 {\an1}- If this is your idea of a romantic dinner, 971 00:35:53,902 --> 00:35:55,532 {\an1}never plan one again for me. 972 00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:57,112 {\an1}No, no, no, we’re talking about right now. 973 00:35:57,197 --> 00:35:58,277 {\an1}You’re asking if we’re on a team. 974 00:35:58,365 --> 00:35:59,875 {\an1}- I’m good. I’m good. - That’s what I thought. 975 00:35:59,949 --> 00:36:01,279 {\an1}Walk away. Call your mom. 976 00:36:01,368 --> 00:36:02,788 {\an1}See if she can let you in tonight. 977 00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:04,499 {\an1}- Have another drink. 978 00:36:10,210 --> 00:36:11,920 {\an1}- Just don’t talk to me, that’s what I mean. 979 00:36:12,045 --> 00:36:13,385 {\an1}- No problem. 980 00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:15,303 {\an1}[both laugh] - Okay. 981 00:36:15,382 --> 00:36:16,672 {\an1}- That’s-- - No, I-- 982 00:36:16,758 --> 00:36:18,128 {\an1}I know Lindsey. - Yeah. 983 00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,638 {\an1}- Her delivery we can work on. 984 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:20,599 {\an1}Okay? - Okay. 985 00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,640 {\an1}- People deliver based on 986 00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:23,972 {\an1}how they’re feeling at the moment. 987 00:36:24,057 --> 00:36:25,097 {\an1}They don’t always think about 988 00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,895 {\an1}how the person’s gonna receive it. 989 00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:28,436 {\an1}Sometimes they just shoot. 990 00:36:28,561 --> 00:36:29,481 {\an1}If you don’t tell someone 991 00:36:29,562 --> 00:36:31,312 {\an1}how to treat you, they will treat you 992 00:36:31,398 --> 00:36:32,648 {\an1}however they want to treat you. 993 00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:34,032 {\an1}- Right. - The whole purpose of this 994 00:36:34,109 --> 00:36:35,939 {\an1}is to find out what is it that you need 995 00:36:36,069 --> 00:36:37,779 {\an1}to know from her? 996 00:36:37,904 --> 00:36:40,114 {\an1}Let’s get some clear questions. - Okay. 997 00:36:40,240 --> 00:36:41,950 {\an1}- Let’s find out, what is the root? 998 00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:45,755 {\an1}Or why is it that you communicate so aggressively? 999 00:36:45,829 --> 00:36:47,499 {\an1}What is her reason? - Yeah, why do you go to that 1000 00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:50,830 {\an1}place when I inadvertently hurt you? 1001 00:36:50,917 --> 00:36:53,497 {\an1}Why do you go to such a mean place to hurt me? 1002 00:36:53,586 --> 00:36:55,836 {\an1}- Good. - But it’s interesting how, 1003 00:36:55,922 --> 00:37:00,842 {\an1}the way that we argue, her energy in the fight’s 1004 00:37:00,927 --> 00:37:05,057 {\an1}so much that it’s like, reminds me of past experiences. 1005 00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:08,640 {\an1}- Remind you of what? - My parents fighting, I think. 1006 00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:11,188 {\an1}- Your mom. - Yeah. 1007 00:37:11,271 --> 00:37:14,651 {\an1}- Reminds you of your mom specifically. 1008 00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:17,154 {\an1}- Like, my mom was really depressed for a long time. 1009 00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:20,357 {\an1}She’s depressed about the way her life turned out. 1010 00:37:20,447 --> 00:37:22,197 {\an1}And she can’t get out of that way. 1011 00:37:22,282 --> 00:37:24,282 {\an1}So that’s her-- that’s her MO every day. 1012 00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:25,907 {\an1}It’s frustration. 1013 00:37:25,994 --> 00:37:28,874 {\an1}It really set the table for things 1014 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:30,865 {\an1}I don’t want in a marriage. 1015 00:37:30,957 --> 00:37:33,377 {\an1}- The way you saw your mom argue, 1016 00:37:33,460 --> 00:37:37,340 {\an1}and scream at, and fuss at your dad. 1017 00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:39,014 {\an1}That’s a trigger for you. 1018 00:37:39,132 --> 00:37:41,132 {\an1}- I think so. 1019 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,385 {\an1}- Do you feel like caring for your mom? 1020 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:47,061 {\an1}- Yes. - Why? 1021 00:37:49,142 --> 00:37:50,942 {\an1}- Because she did... 1022 00:37:55,482 --> 00:37:57,072 {\an1}She did everything for me. 1023 00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:58,900 {\an1}- She did everything for you. - Yeah. 1024 00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:01,485 {\an1}- Are you afraid of being your father? 1025 00:38:05,492 --> 00:38:09,412 {\an1}[somber music] 1026 00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:10,996 {\an1}- Um. 1027 00:38:12,999 --> 00:38:15,249 {\an1}You know, I’ve never been asked that. 1028 00:38:15,335 --> 00:38:18,095 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1029 00:38:18,171 --> 00:38:20,551 {\an1}- Your father--or your mother argued at your father. 1030 00:38:20,673 --> 00:38:23,263 {\an1}You said sometimes he would say nothing. 1031 00:38:23,343 --> 00:38:25,263 {\an1}- He wouldn’t say anything for her 1032 00:38:25,345 --> 00:38:27,145 {\an1}to just start arguing with him. 1033 00:38:27,222 --> 00:38:29,432 {\an1}- Here’s what I want you to see, Mark. 1034 00:38:29,516 --> 00:38:33,306 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1035 00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:35,104 {\an1}Lindsey is not your mom. 1036 00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:36,728 {\an1}- No. 1037 00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:39,356 {\an1}- She isn’t. - Okay. 1038 00:38:39,442 --> 00:38:42,112 {\an1}- If you give her what she wants, 1039 00:38:42,195 --> 00:38:43,745 {\an1}which is knowing that you’re in it-- 1040 00:38:43,863 --> 00:38:46,123 {\an1}she needs that security from you. 1041 00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:49,119 {\an1}And if she feels that, I bet you’re going to see 1042 00:38:49,202 --> 00:38:51,082 {\an1}a lot of your arguing subside. 1043 00:38:51,204 --> 00:38:53,464 {\an1}- I just figured we would communicate better. 1044 00:38:53,540 --> 00:38:56,790 {\an1}I figured, when you spend this much time with someone... 1045 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:57,746 {\an1}- [sighs] 1046 00:38:57,877 --> 00:39:00,627 {\an1}Mark, Mark... 1047 00:39:00,713 --> 00:39:03,843 {\an1}your expectations are gonna seriously screw you up, 1048 00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:05,805 {\an1}because you’re saying it should be this way. 1049 00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:06,715 {\an1}It should be that way. 1050 00:39:06,803 --> 00:39:08,013 {\an1}By now, this should have happened. 1051 00:39:08,096 --> 00:39:09,306 {\an1}By now, that should-- 1052 00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:10,219 {\an1}Says who? 1053 00:39:10,306 --> 00:39:11,716 {\an1}Again, you’ve never been married. 1054 00:39:11,808 --> 00:39:13,138 {\an1}You don’t know how it should be. 1055 00:39:13,226 --> 00:39:15,016 {\an1}- Right. - You don’t. 1056 00:39:15,103 --> 00:39:17,273 {\an1}By now, you guys would have-- 1057 00:39:17,397 --> 00:39:19,607 {\an1}you both would have decided that it’s not worth it, 1058 00:39:19,732 --> 00:39:21,402 {\an1}and she hasn’t decided that yet. 1059 00:39:21,484 --> 00:39:23,994 {\an1}And you haven’t either. 1060 00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:25,610 {\an1}Have you? 1061 00:39:25,738 --> 00:39:28,448 {\an1}[dramatic music] 1062 00:39:28,575 --> 00:39:29,995 {\an1}- No. 1063 00:39:30,076 --> 00:39:31,786 {\an1}I just want us to be healthy. 1064 00:39:31,911 --> 00:39:34,501 {\an1}- You can be. - Okay. 1065 00:39:34,581 --> 00:39:37,081 {\an1}- There’s no question, you can be healthy. 1066 00:39:38,418 --> 00:39:41,498 {\an1}[upbeat music] 1067 00:39:41,588 --> 00:39:46,128 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1068 00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:48,009 {\an1}- Hi. - Hi, Lindsey. 1069 00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,514 {\an1}- How are you? - I’m good. 1070 00:39:49,596 --> 00:39:51,596 {\an1}- How do you like your coffee? 1071 00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:54,601 {\an1}- I put something white in it. I like--I’ll do milk. 1072 00:39:54,684 --> 00:39:56,274 {\an1}- Cheers. [mugs clink] 1073 00:39:56,352 --> 00:39:59,022 {\an1}- [chuckles] Come over here for a minute. 1074 00:39:59,105 --> 00:40:01,685 {\an1}’Cause it’s more comfortable. 1075 00:40:01,774 --> 00:40:03,114 {\an1}And then I won’t have to look up. 1076 00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:04,532 {\an1}[both laugh] - I know. 1077 00:40:04,611 --> 00:40:05,861 {\an1}I’m sorry. 1078 00:40:05,945 --> 00:40:07,525 {\an1}I should’ve known not to wear heels. 1079 00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:10,204 {\an1}- Tell me about... 1080 00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:12,373 {\an1}The tough parts, the struggle parts. 1081 00:40:12,452 --> 00:40:14,372 {\an1}- [sighs] 1082 00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:17,294 {\an1}So Mark’s a really genuinely nice man. 1083 00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:19,963 {\an1}I think he always has really good intent. 1084 00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:24,213 {\an1}But I am seeing a pattern. 1085 00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,507 {\an1}My issue with Mark 1086 00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:27,723 {\an1}is two parts. 1087 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,930 {\an1}One is consistency. 1088 00:40:30,011 --> 00:40:32,351 {\an1}He’s really consistently inconsistent. 1089 00:40:32,472 --> 00:40:34,352 {\an1}And it feels like whiplash to me. 1090 00:40:34,474 --> 00:40:36,394 {\an1}It’s hard for me to just keep giving all in. 1091 00:40:36,476 --> 00:40:38,226 {\an1}I said to him, "I’m gonna give you all my love 1092 00:40:38,311 --> 00:40:41,401 {\an1}on the first day, and then when you lose it, you lose it." 1093 00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:42,901 {\an1}For me, that’s just how I’ve always been like, 1094 00:40:42,982 --> 00:40:44,822 {\an1}I’m gonna love everybody fully and freely. 1095 00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:47,241 {\an1}- Don’t forecast. 1096 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:49,820 {\an1}Don’t forecast. - What do you mean forecast? 1097 00:40:49,906 --> 00:40:52,066 {\an1}- "When you lose it, it’s gone forever." 1098 00:40:52,158 --> 00:40:53,738 {\an1}Just don’t do that. 1099 00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:57,326 {\an1}That already sets up like, "Okay, if you’re not loving him 1100 00:40:57,413 --> 00:40:59,253 {\an1}at this moment, now it’s gone forever." 1101 00:40:59,332 --> 00:41:00,582 {\an1}He’s gonna be defensive. 1102 00:41:00,667 --> 00:41:02,247 {\an1}It’s gonna be up and down. - Mm. 1103 00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:04,045 {\an1}- Don’t forecast what’s gonna happen. 1104 00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:05,800 {\an1}Talk about the present. 1105 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,800 {\an1}- I think my biggest concern is that, 1106 00:41:07,882 --> 00:41:11,932 {\an1}Mark, you seem to pour into everybody except you. 1107 00:41:12,011 --> 00:41:13,761 {\an1}And that affects me now. 1108 00:41:13,846 --> 00:41:15,256 {\an1}And I wannna make sure that you are reserving 1109 00:41:15,348 --> 00:41:17,728 {\an1}your time and energy for me, for you, 1110 00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:19,100 {\an1}so we can pour into one another. 1111 00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:20,765 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1112 00:41:20,853 --> 00:41:22,273 {\an1}- How else could you say that? 1113 00:41:22,355 --> 00:41:24,115 {\an1}Because that’s a criticism. - Yeah. 1114 00:41:24,190 --> 00:41:26,690 {\an1}- You have to tell him what it makes you feel 1115 00:41:26,776 --> 00:41:28,606 {\an1}in a way that doesn’t say, 1116 00:41:28,695 --> 00:41:30,915 {\an1}in the back of his mind, "You’re a bum." 1117 00:41:31,030 --> 00:41:35,450 {\an1}You know, "You’ve--you’re a bad person, you’ve betrayed me." 1118 00:41:35,535 --> 00:41:37,295 {\an1}Those are all kinds of things that are gonna 1119 00:41:37,370 --> 00:41:39,460 {\an1}build into fences. - Mm. 1120 00:41:39,539 --> 00:41:41,249 {\an1}- But let’s say there was something that 1121 00:41:41,374 --> 00:41:44,134 {\an1}bothered you that sounded like that to you. 1122 00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:46,800 {\an1}Instead of responding to it, how about saying, 1123 00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:49,299 {\an1}"You know that-- that sounds bad to me. 1124 00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:50,382 {\an1}"What do you mean? 1125 00:41:50,466 --> 00:41:52,256 {\an1}What are you really trying to say to me?" 1126 00:41:52,385 --> 00:41:53,975 {\an1}[soft music] 1127 00:41:54,053 --> 00:41:56,063 {\an1}I think you need to ask him questions. 1128 00:41:56,139 --> 00:41:58,099 {\an1}That will get you in a better place 1129 00:41:58,224 --> 00:41:59,774 {\an1}and get you what you want. 1130 00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:02,812 {\an1}Remember, anger is not your friend in this marriage. 1131 00:42:05,565 --> 00:42:08,655 {\an1}- Madness for me is always a mask for sadness. 1132 00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:10,905 {\an1}And that’s-- that’s sometimes and often 1133 00:42:10,987 --> 00:42:11,987 {\an1}the root of me. 1134 00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:14,661 {\an1}- I don’t blame you for being mad or sad. 1135 00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:16,491 {\an1}But reach for the sad. 1136 00:42:16,576 --> 00:42:18,326 {\an1}Am I not enough, or what’s going on? 1137 00:42:18,411 --> 00:42:19,751 {\an1}Or does he not understand me? 1138 00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:21,459 {\an1}These are all real things. 1139 00:42:21,581 --> 00:42:22,831 {\an1}And I can see that, I can see in your eyes-- 1140 00:42:22,915 --> 00:42:24,165 {\an1}- I just feel sad all the time. 1141 00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:25,880 {\an1}It’s too much to dive into. 1142 00:42:26,919 --> 00:42:28,089 {\an1}- You don’t-- You’re sad all the time-- 1143 00:42:28,171 --> 00:42:31,511 {\an1}- I literally almost always feel sad, all the time. 1144 00:42:31,591 --> 00:42:32,721 {\an1}- Tell me about that. 1145 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,720 {\an1}- It’s just, you know... 1146 00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:37,183 {\an1}I always feel like... 1147 00:42:37,263 --> 00:42:40,143 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1148 00:42:40,266 --> 00:42:41,346 {\an1}There are good moments, 1149 00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:44,194 {\an1}but literally, it’s just bad things on top of another. 1150 00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,020 {\an1}It’s just always been... 1151 00:42:46,105 --> 00:42:47,685 {\an1}bad things on top of another. 1152 00:42:47,774 --> 00:42:49,534 {\an1}And so for me, I’m like, 1153 00:42:49,609 --> 00:42:51,859 {\an1}yes, I’m happy because I wanna enjoy my life 1154 00:42:51,944 --> 00:42:53,784 {\an1}and, like, make the most of it and hopefully, 1155 00:42:53,863 --> 00:42:58,033 {\an1}like, influence others, but everything is sad to me. 1156 00:42:58,117 --> 00:42:59,987 {\an1}Like my mom, she really said some 1157 00:43:00,119 --> 00:43:01,659 {\an1}awful things and treated me really badly. 1158 00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:03,828 {\an1}When I was younger, my mom was real quick 1159 00:43:03,956 --> 00:43:04,916 {\an1}to cut me down to size 1160 00:43:04,999 --> 00:43:07,879 {\an1}and kind of never really showed true love. 1161 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,670 {\an1}And that would make me think, "Am I angry, or am I sad?" 1162 00:43:11,798 --> 00:43:15,548 {\an1}And I realized that it’s very much affected me. 1163 00:43:15,635 --> 00:43:18,725 {\an1}I know that if I get mad... 1164 00:43:18,805 --> 00:43:21,475 {\an1}typically, it’s because I feel really 1165 00:43:21,557 --> 00:43:24,347 {\an1}hurt and sad about something I can’t change. 1166 00:43:24,477 --> 00:43:26,397 {\an1}- You say the anger comes from sadness. 1167 00:43:26,479 --> 00:43:27,439 {\an1}So go there. 1168 00:43:27,522 --> 00:43:29,572 {\an1}Go to your sadness, not to your anger. 1169 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:32,229 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1170 00:43:32,318 --> 00:43:34,898 {\an1}I’m not saying any of this is easy. 1171 00:43:34,987 --> 00:43:37,867 {\an1}But I think it’s important to get 1172 00:43:37,990 --> 00:43:42,290 {\an1}on positive footing and to breed kindness, 1173 00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:45,790 {\an1}and some softening, some questions. 1174 00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:47,923 {\an1}So I’m not trying to change his life, 1175 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,380 {\an1}so much as creating the space you need 1176 00:43:50,503 --> 00:43:51,593 {\an1}for your life together. 1177 00:43:51,671 --> 00:43:55,471 {\an1}And we want that, not of course as much as you, 1178 00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:57,800 {\an1}but we want it for you, and I want it for you. 1179 00:43:57,885 --> 00:44:00,385 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1180 00:44:00,513 --> 00:44:02,313 {\an1}- I think we stand a good chance. 1181 00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:04,600 {\an1}He told me that he’s starting to care about me, 1182 00:44:04,684 --> 00:44:07,274 {\an1}and protect--feel for me and want to protect me. 1183 00:44:07,353 --> 00:44:09,063 {\an1}And I think he told me... - That’s very cool. 1184 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:10,358 {\an1}- "Do you feel the same way?" And I said, 1185 00:44:10,439 --> 00:44:11,939 {\an1}"It’s been tough for me, Mark." 1186 00:44:12,024 --> 00:44:14,944 {\an1}I’ve shifted now, where I’m in this place where 1187 00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:17,777 {\an1}I’m a little more negative than I would ever wanna be. 1188 00:44:17,864 --> 00:44:22,454 {\an1}And it’s because I-- I’ve gotta flip back, you know? 1189 00:44:22,535 --> 00:44:24,165 {\an1}- Say yes. 1190 00:44:24,245 --> 00:44:25,955 {\an1}But give him the reassurance. 1191 00:44:26,038 --> 00:44:27,708 {\an1}He just put out a bid. 1192 00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:30,630 {\an1}He’s saying, "I’m getting there. 1193 00:44:30,710 --> 00:44:31,840 {\an1}I’m feeling for you." 1194 00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:34,169 {\an1}I mean, never refuse a bid. 1195 00:44:34,255 --> 00:44:37,135 {\an1}You can modify it, but-- - Don’t shut it down. 1196 00:44:37,216 --> 00:44:38,756 {\an1}- Yeah, don’t shut it down. 1197 00:44:38,885 --> 00:44:41,475 {\an1}Never shut anything positive coming your way. 1198 00:44:41,554 --> 00:44:42,474 {\an1}- Yeah. 1199 00:44:42,555 --> 00:44:44,605 {\an1}- I’m gonna give you three questions 1200 00:44:44,724 --> 00:44:46,184 {\an1}I want you to ask Mark. 1201 00:44:46,267 --> 00:44:49,307 {\an1}One is, what does he think love is now? 1202 00:44:49,395 --> 00:44:50,555 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 1203 00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:55,728 {\an1}- Can he define what is an emotional connection to him? 1204 00:44:55,818 --> 00:44:58,148 {\an1}And can he walk away from a disagreement 1205 00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:02,157 {\an1}before it gets too ugly or too heated? 1206 00:45:02,241 --> 00:45:04,661 {\an1}Let him know when you’re hurt and give him 1207 00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:09,834 {\an1}your emotions in a way that don’t invite combat. 1208 00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:10,996 {\an1}- Yeah. 1209 00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:13,253 {\an1}- ♪ I gotta change for the better now ♪ 1210 00:45:16,839 --> 00:45:19,759 {\an1}- ♪ So is there anywhere that you don’t exist? ♪ 1211 00:45:19,842 --> 00:45:21,842 {\an1}♪ Ooh, ah, ooh, ah ♪ 1212 00:45:21,928 --> 00:45:23,848 {\an1}♪ Ooh, ah, ooh ♪ 1213 00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:25,510 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1214 00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:26,598 {\an1}- You ready? 1215 00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:29,142 {\an1}- I am ready. 1216 00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:32,348 {\an1}- Can’t wait to hear what she has to say. 1217 00:45:32,438 --> 00:45:33,358 {\an1}You know, they be watching everything. 1218 00:45:33,439 --> 00:45:35,359 {\an1}- I know. 1219 00:45:35,441 --> 00:45:37,361 {\an1}- Today, I think talking to Dr. Pepper 1220 00:45:37,443 --> 00:45:39,903 {\an1}will help me make sense of a lot of things. 1221 00:45:39,987 --> 00:45:41,197 {\an1}You know, I’m gonna talk to her about 1222 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:46,370 {\an1}what would possibly make me say no on Decision Day. 1223 00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:48,702 {\an1}- I have a lot to talk to Pastor Cal about. 1224 00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:52,368 {\an1}I want to let him know that, you know, I am trying my best, 1225 00:45:52,458 --> 00:45:54,418 {\an1}but I feel like, for whatever reason, 1226 00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:57,212 {\an1}there’s still things about our marriage that scares me. 1227 00:45:57,296 --> 00:46:00,166 {\an1}- ♪ Can’t tell if this is love or not ♪ 1228 00:46:00,299 --> 00:46:01,969 {\an1}♪ But I sure wanna figure it out ♪ 1229 00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:03,841 {\an1}♪ Can’t tell if this is real or not ♪ 1230 00:46:03,970 --> 00:46:05,390 {\an1}- Michael, what’s up, man? 1231 00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:07,351 {\an1}- Pastor Cal, good to see you. 1232 00:46:07,473 --> 00:46:08,933 {\an1}- How you doing, buddy? 1233 00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:11,096 {\an1}- All right, well, let’s sit down for a second. 1234 00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:12,635 {\an1}- So how’s it going? 1235 00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:14,398 {\an1}- It’s been a--it’s been a roller coaster. 1236 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:15,770 {\an1}- Uh-huh. 1237 00:46:15,856 --> 00:46:17,066 {\an1}- A lot of progress has been made. 1238 00:46:17,149 --> 00:46:18,859 {\an1}- Okay, well, progress is good. 1239 00:46:18,985 --> 00:46:22,825 {\an1}- But since we’re approaching the big Decision Day, 1240 00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:24,617 {\an1}we still have a lot of work to do. 1241 00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:25,909 {\an1}- How are you feeling? 1242 00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:29,082 {\an1}- You know, I’m actually glad that, for once, when I see 1243 00:46:29,161 --> 00:46:31,411 {\an1}an expert, I can say, like, I’m feeling good. 1244 00:46:31,497 --> 00:46:33,827 {\an1}- Oh, I like that too! 1245 00:46:33,916 --> 00:46:36,916 {\an1}- The question now is, how do you feel about where you are? 1246 00:46:37,003 --> 00:46:39,093 {\an1}- To be honest, over the time where I was doing 1247 00:46:39,171 --> 00:46:42,931 {\an1}things for her, it was strictly out of, like, obligation. 1248 00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:46,139 {\an1}I didn’t feel connected to Jasmina specifically. 1249 00:46:46,220 --> 00:46:49,220 {\an1}I was just doing things because I’m a husband 1250 00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:51,178 {\an1}and I made these vows. - Mm-hmm. 1251 00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:53,807 {\an1}- But as I said, I’m finally at a point where 1252 00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:55,774 {\an1}I’m no longer doing those things because I’m a husband, 1253 00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:59,445 {\an1}I’m doing those things because I--I like you. 1254 00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:00,475 {\an1}- [sighs] 1255 00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:04,608 {\an1}Michael, I want you to see the progression 1256 00:47:04,697 --> 00:47:09,577 {\an1}of doing the work and then the feelings come. 1257 00:47:09,702 --> 00:47:11,412 {\an1}- Mm. 1258 00:47:11,537 --> 00:47:13,747 {\an1}- You feel me? - Yeah. 1259 00:47:13,873 --> 00:47:15,963 {\an1}- That’s what you did. - I didn’t put that together. 1260 00:47:16,042 --> 00:47:18,962 {\an1}- Yeah, but I want--I want you to--I want you to see that. 1261 00:47:19,045 --> 00:47:20,095 {\an1}- Yeah. 1262 00:47:20,212 --> 00:47:23,302 {\an1}- The same thing is going to happen with her. 1263 00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,052 {\an1}- Yeah. 1264 00:47:26,218 --> 00:47:29,298 {\an1}- So what I’d like to know from you is, 1265 00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:32,518 {\an1}what are the things that worry you? 1266 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:35,020 {\an1}What are the questions you have that are going 1267 00:47:35,102 --> 00:47:38,312 {\an1}to be very important in terms of getting you 1268 00:47:38,397 --> 00:47:41,017 {\an1}to the place where you feel you have the husband 1269 00:47:41,108 --> 00:47:43,528 {\an1}you’re going to commit to on Decision Day? 1270 00:47:46,072 --> 00:47:47,782 {\an1}- I mean, what worries me is I don’t know enough 1271 00:47:47,907 --> 00:47:49,317 {\an1}about his past. 1272 00:47:49,408 --> 00:47:52,538 {\an1}He always says his past is the reason 1273 00:47:52,620 --> 00:47:54,660 {\an1}why he is the way he is. 1274 00:47:54,747 --> 00:47:57,827 {\an1}So I would like more of those conversations, 1275 00:47:57,917 --> 00:48:00,877 {\an1}but I do stress, like, I really need to know you. 1276 00:48:00,961 --> 00:48:04,261 {\an1}Like, I can’t be married to a stranger. 1277 00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:09,850 {\an1}- Do you feel that you’re giving him enough support? 1278 00:48:09,929 --> 00:48:13,469 {\an1}Some of those things you have to feel 1279 00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:17,769 {\an1}more trust about before you talk about them. 1280 00:48:17,895 --> 00:48:20,055 {\an1}- Michael and I are different when it comes to trust, like, 1281 00:48:20,147 --> 00:48:25,397 {\an1}he is somebody that you have to, like, earn that trust. 1282 00:48:25,486 --> 00:48:28,856 {\an1}And for me, I’ve always trusted people 1283 00:48:28,948 --> 00:48:31,278 {\an1}unless they gave me a reason not to. 1284 00:48:31,367 --> 00:48:32,527 {\an1}- So this is about, right now, where you guys are 1285 00:48:32,618 --> 00:48:35,368 {\an1}at a point where you’re starting to create trust again, 1286 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:38,464 {\an1}and she has to know that you have her back. 1287 00:48:38,541 --> 00:48:41,291 {\an1}She has to know that I can be vulnerable with him, 1288 00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:45,877 {\an1}I can be intimate with him and feel safe. 1289 00:48:45,965 --> 00:48:47,725 {\an1}For men and women, safety is so very important. 1290 00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:48,760 {\an1}- For sure. 1291 00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:51,763 {\an1}- And I believe she wants to be--to have 1292 00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,886 {\an1}some kind of touch. 1293 00:48:55,808 --> 00:48:58,018 {\an1}What would happen if you reached over and touched her? 1294 00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:00,564 {\an1}- I don’t know. 1295 00:49:00,646 --> 00:49:02,396 {\an1}- Why haven’t you tried? 1296 00:49:02,481 --> 00:49:04,731 {\an1}- I haven’t tried because, you know, 1297 00:49:04,817 --> 00:49:06,187 {\an1}we used to kiss good night. 1298 00:49:06,318 --> 00:49:09,398 {\an1}And weeks later, we unpacked that, 1299 00:49:09,488 --> 00:49:11,068 {\an1}and she was doing it out of obligation 1300 00:49:11,157 --> 00:49:14,237 {\an1}because she felt like, as a wife, she’s supposed 1301 00:49:14,326 --> 00:49:15,986 {\an1}to do those things, even though she didn’t feel 1302 00:49:16,078 --> 00:49:19,208 {\an1}compelled to because she didn’t feel connected to me. 1303 00:49:19,331 --> 00:49:23,091 {\an1}So when I heard that I said, "I don’t want you to do 1304 00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:24,249 {\an1}anything out of obligation." 1305 00:49:24,336 --> 00:49:25,796 {\an1}- But that was a dumb move. 1306 00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:26,760 {\an1}- On my part? - Oh, yeah. 1307 00:49:26,839 --> 00:49:29,089 {\an1}- Damn, okay. - Let me tell you why. 1308 00:49:29,175 --> 00:49:32,725 {\an1}You said I did things just because I knew 1309 00:49:32,845 --> 00:49:34,475 {\an1}that this was something I needed to do. 1310 00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:36,065 {\an1}And eventually, I got to the point 1311 00:49:36,182 --> 00:49:38,232 {\an1}where I really wanted to do it. - Yeah. 1312 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:40,770 {\an1}- She was doing something as a wife because she felt 1313 00:49:40,853 --> 00:49:42,813 {\an1}that that’s what she needed to do. 1314 00:49:42,897 --> 00:49:45,107 {\an1}It would have gotten to a point where she was, 1315 00:49:45,191 --> 00:49:47,781 {\an1}after a while, where she really wanted to do it. 1316 00:49:47,860 --> 00:49:49,610 {\an1}- Yeah. 1317 00:49:49,695 --> 00:49:51,065 {\an1}- You understand what’s happening here? 1318 00:49:51,197 --> 00:49:52,737 {\an1}- Yeah, I see. 1319 00:49:52,865 --> 00:49:54,415 {\an1}- How do you reverse that? 1320 00:49:54,533 --> 00:49:55,703 {\an1}Do things that engender intimacy. 1321 00:49:55,784 --> 00:49:57,164 {\an1}Compliment her, 1322 00:49:57,244 --> 00:50:00,374 {\an1}and then I want you to initiate touch. 1323 00:50:00,456 --> 00:50:03,376 {\an1}Gentlemanly-- I ain’t worried about that. 1324 00:50:03,459 --> 00:50:05,129 {\an1}I know you ain’t gonna just reach over just grab her. 1325 00:50:05,211 --> 00:50:06,671 {\an1}- Yeah, Pastor Cal told me. 1326 00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:09,134 {\an1}- Right. [laughter] 1327 00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:11,435 {\an1}- I’m a very sexual person, I’ll be honest, but it’s just, 1328 00:50:11,550 --> 00:50:13,640 {\an1}am I feeling anything from that? 1329 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:15,969 {\an1}And I don’t if I don’t have an emotional 1330 00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:18,565 {\an1}connection to someone. 1331 00:50:18,641 --> 00:50:19,811 {\an1}- You know, one way to encourage 1332 00:50:19,892 --> 00:50:24,772 {\an1}his connection to you is to have more touch between you. 1333 00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:29,607 {\an1}- Yeah, it’s not that I feel uncomfortable if he touches me, 1334 00:50:29,735 --> 00:50:32,525 {\an1}it’s just I don’t feel anything when he touches me. 1335 00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:34,913 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1336 00:50:34,990 --> 00:50:39,160 {\an1}- It strikes me, though, that now that you’re relaxing 1337 00:50:39,245 --> 00:50:43,505 {\an1}into trying to find out who each of you are, that it would 1338 00:50:43,582 --> 00:50:47,502 {\an1}be good to have some of your conversations holding hands 1339 00:50:47,586 --> 00:50:51,296 {\an1}or sitting next to each other, to give each other that sort 1340 00:50:51,423 --> 00:50:56,513 {\an1}of body intimacy that says you’re more than friends, 1341 00:50:56,595 --> 00:50:58,845 {\an1}and that you’re trying to be husband and wife. 1342 00:50:58,931 --> 00:51:00,521 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1343 00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:04,809 {\an1}- What would be another question you would ask her? 1344 00:51:04,937 --> 00:51:08,317 {\an1}- I think my biggest concern is, do we have enough 1345 00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:13,070 {\an1}time to really build an emotional connection? 1346 00:51:13,153 --> 00:51:14,863 {\an1}- Do you guys have a connection now? 1347 00:51:14,947 --> 00:51:16,357 {\an1}- Yeah, we have connection now, I would say. 1348 00:51:16,448 --> 00:51:17,868 {\an1}- How do you think you got it? 1349 00:51:17,950 --> 00:51:20,410 {\an1}- Once we had open dialogue with each other-- 1350 00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:23,214 {\an1}- Why did you have that open dialogue? 1351 00:51:23,289 --> 00:51:24,579 {\an1}- Because things weren’t working out. 1352 00:51:24,665 --> 00:51:26,085 {\an1}- Right now, you guys are doing better 1353 00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:27,786 {\an1}because of the open dialogue. - Yeah. 1354 00:51:27,876 --> 00:51:29,086 {\an1}- You know where I’m going here. 1355 00:51:29,169 --> 00:51:30,089 {\an1}- I do. 1356 00:51:30,170 --> 00:51:31,510 {\an1}- You guys went through those trials, 1357 00:51:31,630 --> 00:51:33,300 {\an1}you went through that crap, you went through that-- 1358 00:51:33,424 --> 00:51:35,054 {\an1}those arguments, you did all that. 1359 00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:37,264 {\an1}Now I need you to arise as the husband. 1360 00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:40,434 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1361 00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:42,604 {\an1}- You could be in the best marriage in the world 1362 00:51:42,683 --> 00:51:47,063 {\an1}and sometimes you don’t feel like being physical 1363 00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:48,896 {\an1}with your husband or your wife. 1364 00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:50,441 {\an1}That’s just part of the deal. 1365 00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:53,574 {\an1}- I think why I don’t do it is because sometimes 1366 00:51:53,652 --> 00:51:56,402 {\an1}I am caught up in a moment, but I don’t--I’m not 1367 00:51:56,488 --> 00:51:59,408 {\an1}caught up in a moment all the time. 1368 00:51:59,491 --> 00:52:01,451 {\an1}- But life is moments, and I think 1369 00:52:01,535 --> 00:52:04,115 {\an1}it’s very reassuring to give him those moments 1370 00:52:04,204 --> 00:52:06,714 {\an1}whenever they’re there, authentic. 1371 00:52:06,832 --> 00:52:08,422 {\an1}And that could be just a gesture 1372 00:52:08,500 --> 00:52:12,420 {\an1}of affection or comfort, but if you withhold that, 1373 00:52:12,504 --> 00:52:16,054 {\an1}he’s gonna think that you never feel that way. 1374 00:52:16,175 --> 00:52:18,145 {\an1}I think he needs to know. 1375 00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,638 {\an1}I think you need to know from him 1376 00:52:20,721 --> 00:52:24,561 {\an1}that there’s even momentary affection because I think both 1377 00:52:24,683 --> 00:52:28,603 {\an1}of you have good hearts, but they have to be exposed. 1378 00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:31,397 {\an1}- ♪ It doesn’t matter where you come from ♪ 1379 00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:34,363 {\an1}♪ It only matters where you end up ♪ 1380 00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:37,115 {\an1}♪ The story’s never the beginning ♪ 1381 00:52:37,196 --> 00:52:39,356 {\an1}♪ Oh, it’s always how you finish ♪ 1382 00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:43,951 {\an1}[soft music] ♪ ♪ 1383 00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:46,956 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1384 00:52:47,039 --> 00:52:49,619 {\an1}- I’m not too concerned about the things that Lindsey’s 1385 00:52:49,708 --> 00:52:51,588 {\an1}gonna ask me, but I do get nervous 1386 00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:55,130 {\an1}about Lindsey’s answers to my questions 1387 00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:58,974 {\an1}because there’s been many times I’ve given her feedback 1388 00:52:59,051 --> 00:53:01,471 {\an1}that is important to me and not felt 1389 00:53:01,553 --> 00:53:03,313 {\an1}affirmed on the things I asked her. 1390 00:53:03,389 --> 00:53:07,809 {\an1}And parts of me worry that the cracks in our marriage 1391 00:53:07,893 --> 00:53:10,193 {\an1}are gonna get bigger. 1392 00:53:10,270 --> 00:53:13,270 {\an1}- ♪ You turn me up a notch ♪ 1393 00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:15,939 {\an1}♪ And then drop me to pieces ♪ 1394 00:53:16,068 --> 00:53:17,608 {\an1}- Hey. - Hey. 1395 00:53:17,736 --> 00:53:19,566 {\an1}- How you doing? 1396 00:53:19,655 --> 00:53:21,955 {\an1}- Good, how are you doing? 1397 00:53:22,074 --> 00:53:23,744 {\an1}- Really hungry. 1398 00:53:24,576 --> 00:53:27,656 {\an1}- What kind of chicken is this? 1399 00:53:27,746 --> 00:53:28,956 {\an1}[utensils clattering] - [clucking] 1400 00:53:29,081 --> 00:53:31,171 {\an1}That kind. - Oh, okay. 1401 00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:34,170 {\an1}[tense music] 1402 00:53:34,253 --> 00:53:40,513 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1403 00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:41,892 {\an1}- So how was Pepper? 1404 00:53:41,969 --> 00:53:45,429 {\an1}- Uh, she’s great. - Yeah. 1405 00:53:45,514 --> 00:53:47,354 {\an1}- What about you and Cal? 1406 00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,143 {\an1}- It’s, like, interesting, the things 1407 00:53:49,268 --> 00:53:52,188 {\an1}that we talked about, they kind of brought 1408 00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:56,361 {\an1}to the surface things I didn’t realize was happening. 1409 00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:57,862 {\an1}- Like what? 1410 00:53:57,943 --> 00:53:59,903 {\an1}- He was like, "Do you ever think that you’re 1411 00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:02,697 {\an1}"like your dad in these situations when she’s talking 1412 00:54:02,781 --> 00:54:05,371 {\an1}to you in such a tone that she’s like your mom?" 1413 00:54:05,451 --> 00:54:09,201 {\an1}And I never really thought of it that way, ever. 1414 00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:13,668 {\an1}And it just, like, struck, like, a emotional chord. 1415 00:54:13,792 --> 00:54:16,712 {\an1}[soft music] 1416 00:54:16,795 --> 00:54:22,005 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1417 00:54:22,134 --> 00:54:23,844 {\an1}- Are you okay? 1418 00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:25,259 {\an1}What’s up, babe? 1419 00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:27,005 {\an1}- It’s just--it’s been an emotional day 1420 00:54:27,139 --> 00:54:28,889 {\an1}with all these questions. 1421 00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,314 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1422 00:54:31,393 --> 00:54:34,403 {\an1}- You know, I never want to see him hurt or in pain. 1423 00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,860 {\an1}You know, he had some tragedy and I had some trauma, 1424 00:54:36,982 --> 00:54:39,652 {\an1}and I think both of us have a lot of work to do. 1425 00:54:39,735 --> 00:54:41,745 {\an1}But if this is gonna work out, 1426 00:54:41,820 --> 00:54:46,570 {\an1}we need to dig through the mud and find some answers. 1427 00:54:46,658 --> 00:54:50,788 {\an1}- One of the questions I was trying to figure out was, 1428 00:54:50,871 --> 00:54:56,581 {\an1}why, when you get upset, you go to such a place of hurt. 1429 00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:59,378 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1430 00:54:59,505 --> 00:55:02,765 {\an1}Say I do something that doesn’t sit well with you. 1431 00:55:02,841 --> 00:55:05,301 {\an1}Can you explain it to me empathetically, 1432 00:55:05,385 --> 00:55:07,595 {\an1}versus the tone that you do? 1433 00:55:07,679 --> 00:55:11,469 {\an1}Because that triggers my mom yelling at my dad. 1434 00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:14,268 {\an1}I think for me, that’s been my biggest thing, 1435 00:55:14,353 --> 00:55:18,363 {\an1}and everything is just trying to really learn 1436 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,610 {\an1}where it comes from so that I can show you 1437 00:55:21,693 --> 00:55:24,493 {\an1}affection that you’re deserving of. 1438 00:55:24,571 --> 00:55:27,121 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1439 00:55:27,199 --> 00:55:30,949 {\an1}- I think when I try to explain myself and I’m not heard, 1440 00:55:31,036 --> 00:55:34,616 {\an1}and somebody raises their voice or dismisses me, 1441 00:55:34,706 --> 00:55:37,916 {\an1}it makes me feel completely invalued. 1442 00:55:38,043 --> 00:55:40,673 {\an1}And I think sometimes when I say, "This hurts me," 1443 00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:43,014 {\an1}I don’t know how to say it in a way in which to get you 1444 00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:46,260 {\an1}to understand it hurts me, and I think two ways happen. 1445 00:55:46,385 --> 00:55:48,095 {\an1}One, if I try it twice, you say, 1446 00:55:48,220 --> 00:55:50,470 {\an1}"Oh, you’re nagging," and you shut down. 1447 00:55:50,556 --> 00:55:53,476 {\an1}Or you’re quick to get defensive and reactive. 1448 00:55:53,559 --> 00:55:55,309 {\an1}Then I’m gonna fight with you too. 1449 00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:57,154 {\an1}Like, if you want to go there, I can go there too. 1450 00:55:57,229 --> 00:55:58,899 {\an1}You don’t care? Well, then I don’t care too. 1451 00:55:58,981 --> 00:56:00,651 {\an1}You don’t need me. I don’t need you either. 1452 00:56:00,732 --> 00:56:03,822 {\an1}Like, that’s just my instant reaction. 1453 00:56:03,902 --> 00:56:06,362 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1454 00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:12,116 {\an1}- I think we really need to equally work on things. 1455 00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:15,044 {\an1}volume, the way you say something 1456 00:56:15,122 --> 00:56:17,002 {\an1}so it pulls out an emotion from me, 1457 00:56:17,082 --> 00:56:19,832 {\an1}that I can give you an emotion. 1458 00:56:19,918 --> 00:56:25,338 {\an1}Because if we can communicate, then we can do anything. 1459 00:56:25,424 --> 00:56:27,184 {\an1}Do you have any questions for me? 1460 00:56:27,259 --> 00:56:29,009 {\an1}- I do. 1461 00:56:29,094 --> 00:56:32,184 {\an1}Can you define what love is to you? 1462 00:56:32,264 --> 00:56:37,314 {\an1}- When someone accepts me for everything I am, the good, 1463 00:56:37,436 --> 00:56:40,436 {\an1}the bad, the uncomfortable, and doesn’t really try 1464 00:56:40,522 --> 00:56:44,572 {\an1}to change me too much, you know? 1465 00:56:44,651 --> 00:56:47,151 {\an1}I’ve always said to myself in my own thoughts, 1466 00:56:47,279 --> 00:56:49,529 {\an1}like, whoever, you know, marries me 1467 00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:51,875 {\an1}is gonna have to be right there once Mom and Nana go. 1468 00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:55,040 {\an1}Like, that person’s gonna have to, 1469 00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:59,580 {\an1}not be my mother, but have to have that, like, motherly, 1470 00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:04,166 {\an1}unconditional protection, love, that I was given. 1471 00:57:04,296 --> 00:57:07,836 {\an1}And I know that you want to do that 1472 00:57:07,966 --> 00:57:12,046 {\an1}’cause you’ve been wanting to do that since day one. 1473 00:57:12,137 --> 00:57:15,427 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1474 00:57:15,515 --> 00:57:19,685 {\an1}So I need you to know, if I didn’t see 1475 00:57:19,811 --> 00:57:24,861 {\an1}enough good in you, I wouldn’t be here. 1476 00:57:24,983 --> 00:57:26,903 {\an1}I ain’t going anywhere. 1477 00:57:26,985 --> 00:57:30,405 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1478 00:57:30,489 --> 00:57:32,739 {\an1}- I think Mark answered all three questions 1479 00:57:32,824 --> 00:57:34,744 {\an1}to the best of his ability. 1480 00:57:34,826 --> 00:57:38,406 {\an1}It’s really nice to hear exactly what I wanted to hear. 1481 00:57:38,497 --> 00:57:40,867 {\an1}This feels exciting. This feels hopeful. 1482 00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:44,789 {\an1}- ♪ Be my baby, can we quit the games? ♪ 1483 00:57:44,878 --> 00:57:49,918 {\an1}♪ I’ve been drunk from you for nine whole days ♪ 1484 00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:53,598 {\an1}♪ And I still want more ♪ 1485 00:57:53,679 --> 00:58:01,639 {\an1}♪ And I still want you ♪ 1486 00:58:01,728 --> 00:58:03,728 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1487 00:58:03,855 --> 00:58:08,065 {\an1}- My meeting with Dr. Pepper was amazing. 1488 00:58:08,193 --> 00:58:10,533 {\an1}She’s so sweet! 1489 00:58:10,654 --> 00:58:13,664 {\an1}She definitely helped me get some questions together 1490 00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:15,950 {\an1}for Mike, which I definitely plan on asking him. 1491 00:58:16,034 --> 00:58:18,544 {\an1}Like, I need more to go off of. 1492 00:58:18,620 --> 00:58:21,620 {\an1}Because if I don’t know who you are as a person, that’s not 1493 00:58:21,707 --> 00:58:25,077 {\an1}someone that I can say yes to, you know, on Decision Day. 1494 00:58:25,210 --> 00:58:30,630 {\an1}So I actually can’t wait to see what he was saying about me. 1495 00:58:30,716 --> 00:58:32,126 {\an1}I’ll keep you posted. 1496 00:58:32,217 --> 00:58:34,297 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1497 00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:36,136 {\an1}How’d it go? 1498 00:58:36,221 --> 00:58:37,971 {\an1}- Um, it went well. 1499 00:58:38,056 --> 00:58:40,306 {\an1}I always--I like--I always like talking to Pastor Cal. 1500 00:58:40,392 --> 00:58:41,812 {\an1}- What did you guys speak about? 1501 00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:43,313 {\an1}- Soon as I’d seen him, I was like, "Listen. 1502 00:58:43,395 --> 00:58:44,655 {\an1}I have some good news." - [laughs] 1503 00:58:44,730 --> 00:58:46,810 {\an1}- We’ve made a lot of progress since the last time we spoke. 1504 00:58:46,898 --> 00:58:50,108 {\an1}So that was good to be able to tell him. 1505 00:58:50,235 --> 00:58:51,565 {\an1}So I’m sure you got asked the same question, 1506 00:58:51,653 --> 00:58:52,743 {\an1}is what you’re saying? 1507 00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:55,453 {\an1}- Um, the first thing we really spoke about was trust. 1508 00:58:55,574 --> 00:59:00,834 {\an1}Like, what can I do to make you trust me? 1509 00:59:00,912 --> 00:59:01,832 {\an1}- It’s funny, ’cause it goes into 1510 00:59:01,913 --> 00:59:04,043 {\an1}one of my questions that I have for you. 1511 00:59:04,124 --> 00:59:07,004 {\an1}What would make me trust you more is feeling like 1512 00:59:07,085 --> 00:59:09,995 {\an1}you are comfortable being vulnerable with me. 1513 00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:11,838 {\an1}- Well, you say in order for you to trust me, 1514 00:59:11,923 --> 00:59:13,173 {\an1}you need me to be more vulnerable, 1515 00:59:13,258 --> 00:59:15,508 {\an1}and I’m saying the only way for me to be more vulnerable 1516 00:59:15,594 --> 00:59:16,804 {\an1}is if I feel like you care 1517 00:59:16,928 --> 00:59:19,258 {\an1}and you’re putting in an effort. 1518 00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:22,019 {\an1}Like, that wasn’t a door that I was gonna open again 1519 00:59:22,100 --> 00:59:23,690 {\an1}if I didn’t feel like you were putting in 1520 00:59:23,769 --> 00:59:25,139 {\an1}the same amount of effort. 1521 00:59:25,270 --> 00:59:28,860 {\an1}- So where are you now with that? 1522 00:59:28,940 --> 00:59:31,860 {\an1}- No, I--I believe you when you say, like, 1523 00:59:31,943 --> 00:59:33,323 {\an1}you know, you really want this to work. 1524 00:59:33,445 --> 00:59:35,705 {\an1}And I’ve seen the effort that you put in 1525 00:59:35,781 --> 00:59:37,701 {\an1}with the communication and, you know, 1526 00:59:37,783 --> 00:59:39,163 {\an1}the way that you listen to me. 1527 00:59:39,284 --> 00:59:41,834 {\an1}So I’m definitely becoming more vulnerable. 1528 00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:45,793 {\an1}Like, I’m not, like, purposely holding it back now. 1529 00:59:45,874 --> 00:59:46,834 {\an1}- So we’re past that. - Yeah. 1530 00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:47,918 {\an1}- Okay, good. 1531 00:59:48,001 --> 00:59:51,051 {\an1}- Okay, you can start off with the second one. 1532 00:59:51,129 --> 00:59:55,969 {\an1}- The second one was, do you think chemistry 1533 00:59:56,051 --> 00:59:58,801 {\an1}is something that can be built over time? 1534 00:59:58,887 --> 01:00:00,427 {\an1}- Wow, that actually falls into one of my questions. 1535 01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:01,564 {\an1}- Are you serious? 1536 01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:04,270 {\an1}- So I told Dr. Pepper, if it comes Decision Day 1537 01:00:04,351 --> 01:00:08,651 {\an1}and, like, we’re not physical, but I have feelings for you, 1538 01:00:08,730 --> 01:00:14,360 {\an1}I know that that physical will come because of those feelings. 1539 01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:17,776 {\an1}So my worry is not, oh, my God, we’re not 1540 01:00:17,864 --> 01:00:19,874 {\an1}physical before Decision Day. 1541 01:00:19,991 --> 01:00:24,541 {\an1}It’s--it’s having-- having the feelings. 1542 01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:27,793 {\an1}And that comes into my third one, 1543 01:00:27,874 --> 01:00:30,594 {\an1}which is, like conversations. 1544 01:00:30,669 --> 01:00:33,799 {\an1}And I told her, like, I don’t really know you as a person. 1545 01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:38,010 {\an1}We don’t have those deep, dark, raw conversations 1546 01:00:38,093 --> 01:00:40,643 {\an1}about the past and stuff. 1547 01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:41,760 {\an1}- Yeah, I hear what you’re saying. 1548 01:00:41,847 --> 01:00:47,557 {\an1}I think those conversations become easier 1549 01:00:47,686 --> 01:00:49,646 {\an1}now that we’re in the space that we’re in. 1550 01:00:49,729 --> 01:00:52,769 {\an1}Because I can say I generally like being around you now. 1551 01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:55,318 {\an1}I feel like I--I’m at a place with you where 1552 01:00:55,402 --> 01:00:59,742 {\an1}I’m willing and want to have those conversations. 1553 01:00:59,865 --> 01:01:01,625 {\an1}- Mm. 1554 01:01:01,700 --> 01:01:06,200 {\an1}- Do you genuinely feel like that’s enough time for you 1555 01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:10,328 {\an1}to build that strong emotional bond that you’re looking for? 1556 01:01:10,417 --> 01:01:15,127 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1557 01:01:15,213 --> 01:01:16,463 {\an1}- I mean, when you look at it, 1558 01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:19,798 {\an1}it depends on how much we’re doing, how much we’re growing, 1559 01:01:19,885 --> 01:01:22,805 {\an1}the efforts that we’re putting in. 1560 01:01:22,888 --> 01:01:25,428 {\an1}It could be enough. - We gotta make it enough. 1561 01:01:25,557 --> 01:01:30,017 {\an1}- But I’m also scared that it might not be enough. 1562 01:01:30,103 --> 01:01:31,313 {\an1}- What would make it not be enough? 1563 01:01:31,396 --> 01:01:34,856 {\an1}- If we’re not doing all those things that--like I said. 1564 01:01:34,941 --> 01:01:36,531 {\an1}- Yeah. - You know? 1565 01:01:36,610 --> 01:01:40,910 {\an1}- ♪ I don’t feel like running ♪ 1566 01:01:40,989 --> 01:01:46,869 {\an1}♪ I just wanna stay ♪ 1567 01:01:46,953 --> 01:01:52,253 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1568 01:01:52,334 --> 01:01:53,334 {\an1}- Come on over. 1569 01:01:53,418 --> 01:01:56,498 {\an1}We are finally getting the opportunity to have 1570 01:01:56,588 --> 01:01:59,798 {\an1}the discussion around finances and future planning. 1571 01:01:59,925 --> 01:02:02,345 {\an1}Noi’s been expressing this concern about 1572 01:02:02,427 --> 01:02:04,177 {\an1}where things stand and what my plan is. 1573 01:02:04,262 --> 01:02:06,222 {\an1}And so I’ve been trying to have this 1574 01:02:06,306 --> 01:02:07,676 {\an1}conversation for a while now. 1575 01:02:07,766 --> 01:02:10,096 {\an1}I think it’ll help clarify a lot of things 1576 01:02:10,185 --> 01:02:13,315 {\an1}between us and also put her mind at ease. 1577 01:02:13,438 --> 01:02:15,978 {\an1}So I have a separate section of finances 1578 01:02:16,107 --> 01:02:17,357 {\an1}so we can definitely talk 1579 01:02:17,442 --> 01:02:18,692 {\an1}specifically about finances there. 1580 01:02:18,777 --> 01:02:21,817 {\an1}- I am really nervous to have this discussion. 1581 01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:24,947 {\an1}- Savings, division of tasks, finances-- 1582 01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:26,203 {\an1}I guess we’ll put it under here. 1583 01:02:26,284 --> 01:02:29,544 {\an1}- Only because it’s really unnerving for me to think 1584 01:02:29,621 --> 01:02:30,751 {\an1}about my partner not having 1585 01:02:30,830 --> 01:02:32,540 {\an1}their financial house in order. 1586 01:02:32,624 --> 01:02:34,634 {\an1}I need to know that he’s gonna be able to help me 1587 01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:35,879 {\an1}pay the bills. 1588 01:02:35,961 --> 01:02:37,961 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1589 01:02:38,046 --> 01:02:39,586 {\an1}- Let’s start with our accounts. 1590 01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:41,553 {\an1}- I think we should have our own individual accounts, 1591 01:02:41,633 --> 01:02:43,053 {\an1}but we should have one joint account 1592 01:02:43,134 --> 01:02:45,344 {\an1}for all expenses that are shared. 1593 01:02:45,470 --> 01:02:46,720 {\an1}- Yeah, that makes sense. 1594 01:02:46,805 --> 01:02:48,515 {\an1}Um, division of tasks. 1595 01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:52,060 {\an1}You do think dividing it evenly is fair. 1596 01:02:52,143 --> 01:02:53,903 {\an1}- I mean, if we’re both working, yeah. 1597 01:02:53,979 --> 01:02:56,979 {\an1}- Yeah, my--you know, my main question here 1598 01:02:57,065 --> 01:02:59,615 {\an1}is do you need me to be working full time 1599 01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:02,073 {\an1}in order for you to feel secure? 1600 01:03:02,153 --> 01:03:05,623 {\an1}- I mean, like, for me, I need to see some sort of income. 1601 01:03:05,699 --> 01:03:06,819 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1602 01:03:06,908 --> 01:03:10,788 {\an1}If you--you had a plan for whatever you want to do, 1603 01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:13,710 {\an1}like, that would make me feel so much better. 1604 01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:14,792 {\an1}Because, right now, like, I don’t really 1605 01:03:14,874 --> 01:03:16,924 {\an1}have anything, you know? 1606 01:03:17,002 --> 01:03:18,252 {\an1}- Gotcha. - Yeah. 1607 01:03:18,336 --> 01:03:19,336 {\an1}- That makes sense. 1608 01:03:19,421 --> 01:03:21,711 {\an1}The first option that I can think of, right, 1609 01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:23,340 {\an1}I get a full time position 1610 01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:25,645 {\an1}and we’re both working full time. 1611 01:03:25,719 --> 01:03:27,469 {\an1}You know, I’m not opposed to working 1612 01:03:27,554 --> 01:03:29,604 {\an1}a full time position, but it also could 1613 01:03:29,681 --> 01:03:32,271 {\an1}very possibly be, it may not be necessary, right? 1614 01:03:32,350 --> 01:03:34,770 {\an1}If I can make the same or more--more money 1615 01:03:34,853 --> 01:03:36,943 {\an1}than I would full time and create 1616 01:03:37,022 --> 01:03:39,612 {\an1}other opportunities, then great, right? 1617 01:03:39,691 --> 01:03:42,281 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1618 01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:46,070 {\an1}I know maybe you’re more used to, you know, 1619 01:03:46,197 --> 01:03:48,777 {\an1}having a full time position and working for somebody, 1620 01:03:48,867 --> 01:03:52,657 {\an1}but I have done entrepreneurial ventures before, 1621 01:03:52,746 --> 01:03:56,786 {\an1}and that’s another possibility. 1622 01:03:56,875 --> 01:03:59,255 {\an1}You know, so I’ve been thinking about that a lot, 1623 01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:01,997 {\an1}and I would definitely need you on board, you know, 1624 01:04:02,088 --> 01:04:03,798 {\an1}if that was something you were comfortable with. 1625 01:04:03,882 --> 01:04:06,632 {\an1}Again, if it wasn’t, we can explore other opportunities. 1626 01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:07,838 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1627 01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:12,217 {\an1}But, yeah, I understand what you need from me there. 1628 01:04:12,307 --> 01:04:14,807 {\an1}Another possibility, you know, maybe you want 1629 01:04:14,893 --> 01:04:16,983 {\an1}to take some time for yourself as well. 1630 01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:18,982 {\an1}I don’t know if it’s--if it’s something you ever imagined, 1631 01:04:19,064 --> 01:04:21,984 {\an1}but, you know, when you want more time 1632 01:04:22,067 --> 01:04:25,697 {\an1}for other things so that you can fully enjoy and appreciate 1633 01:04:25,779 --> 01:04:30,159 {\an1}these last moments of, you know--not freedom, 1634 01:04:30,241 --> 01:04:34,161 {\an1}but not being committed to raising children. 1635 01:04:34,245 --> 01:04:36,325 {\an1}So that’s another possibility as well. 1636 01:04:36,414 --> 01:04:38,044 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1637 01:04:38,124 --> 01:04:40,174 {\an1}So, okay, let’s bounce up to finances. 1638 01:04:40,251 --> 01:04:42,671 {\an1}Like, I guess, in your ideal setting, 1639 01:04:42,754 --> 01:04:45,924 {\an1}like, what--you know, when you’re talking about kids, 1640 01:04:46,007 --> 01:04:48,177 {\an1}what timeframe were you thinking? 1641 01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:49,719 {\an1}Five years from now? Tomorrow? 1642 01:04:49,803 --> 01:04:50,853 {\an1}Somewhere in between? 1643 01:04:50,929 --> 01:04:53,509 {\an1}- You know, it’s not necessarily something that, 1644 01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:58,688 {\an1}you know, I feel like we’ll be ready for, 1645 01:04:58,770 --> 01:05:01,020 {\an1}but I would love to have my first child 1646 01:05:01,106 --> 01:05:04,606 {\an1}within the next year. 1647 01:05:04,692 --> 01:05:06,032 {\an1}- Okay, um... 1648 01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:08,491 {\an1}- Is that-- was that the timeline 1649 01:05:08,613 --> 01:05:09,863 {\an1}that you were thinking of? 1650 01:05:09,948 --> 01:05:11,528 {\an1}Or did you think... 1651 01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:13,826 {\an1}- That’s something I’m definitely--definitely 1652 01:05:13,952 --> 01:05:14,872 {\an1}comfortable with. Yeah, totally. 1653 01:05:14,953 --> 01:05:16,753 {\an1}- Oh, really? Oh, okay. 1654 01:05:16,830 --> 01:05:18,370 {\an1}- So yeah, let’s just say target date-- 1655 01:05:18,456 --> 01:05:23,246 {\an1}target--roughly, we’ll say roughly... 1656 01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:26,416 {\an1}- But yeah--yeah, I would like my first child by next year. 1657 01:05:26,506 --> 01:05:29,716 {\an1}- Gotcha, okay, looks like we’re gonna have a busy month. 1658 01:05:29,801 --> 01:05:32,051 {\an1}[laughter] 1659 01:05:32,137 --> 01:05:37,017 {\an1}- Oh, one last one, actually, before we close this button. 1660 01:05:37,142 --> 01:05:39,062 {\an1}Baby diapers. 1661 01:05:39,144 --> 01:05:41,944 {\an1}So baby diapers can be done equally. 1662 01:05:42,021 --> 01:05:43,611 {\an1}- Whoever has the time and energy 1663 01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:44,820 {\an1}will change the baby’s diaper. 1664 01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:45,899 {\an1}You’re not gonna leave your child 1665 01:05:45,984 --> 01:05:47,864 {\an1}with a dirty diaper, you know that, right? 1666 01:05:47,986 --> 01:05:49,026 {\an1}- Right, but-- 1667 01:05:49,154 --> 01:05:51,574 {\an1}- So whoever sees the dirty diaper first will do it. 1668 01:05:51,656 --> 01:05:54,866 {\an1}- Uh-uh, um, changing diapers-- yeah, it’s not 1669 01:05:54,993 --> 01:05:57,663 {\an1}top of my list of things I enjoy. 1670 01:05:57,745 --> 01:06:00,365 {\an1}Maybe--it may be different with my own children. 1671 01:06:00,498 --> 01:06:02,958 {\an1}- I think it’s a good bonding experience for you because you 1672 01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:05,752 {\an1}didn’t get to carry the child in your womb. 1673 01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:07,877 {\an1}- Oh, thank you. - You know? 1674 01:06:08,006 --> 01:06:09,546 {\an1}I’m doing you a favor. - You know what? It’s okay. 1675 01:06:09,674 --> 01:06:11,224 {\an1}- I’m giving you that time with your baby. 1676 01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:13,142 {\an1}- I have all these other bonding techniques. 1677 01:06:13,219 --> 01:06:15,219 {\an1}I don’t want to take this away from you. 1678 01:06:15,346 --> 01:06:16,806 {\an1}[both laughing] 1679 01:06:20,393 --> 01:06:22,193 {\an1}[upbeat music] 1680 01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:23,312 {\an1}- ♪ You been on that sweet life, sweet life ♪ 1681 01:06:23,396 --> 01:06:25,976 {\an1}♪ Baby I’ma live a sweet life ♪ 1682 01:06:26,065 --> 01:06:28,145 {\an1}- Today we were supposed to be meeting up 1683 01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:31,244 {\an1}with other couples to go play volleyball. 1684 01:06:31,362 --> 01:06:34,662 {\an1}Unfortunately, I woke up with this crazy 1685 01:06:34,741 --> 01:06:39,411 {\an1}headache, so I decided to stay back, get some rest. 1686 01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:41,367 {\an1}Feels kind of strange to send my husband off 1687 01:06:41,498 --> 01:06:44,668 {\an1}to do something without me, but I hope he has fun. 1688 01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:46,751 {\an1}- Autumn. - Yeah? 1689 01:06:46,878 --> 01:06:49,008 {\an1}- So today we’re playing volleyball. 1690 01:06:49,088 --> 01:06:51,008 {\an1}- Okay. - I need some pointers. 1691 01:06:51,090 --> 01:06:53,220 {\an1}[laughs] 1692 01:06:53,343 --> 01:06:56,183 {\an1}- ♪ Baby, I’ma live a sweet life, sweet life ♪ 1693 01:06:56,262 --> 01:06:59,522 {\an1}♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 1694 01:06:59,599 --> 01:07:01,389 {\an1}- You know, smack it like-- 1695 01:07:01,476 --> 01:07:02,686 {\an1}just hit it--hit it hard. 1696 01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:05,519 {\an1}- Okay, all right, cool, cool. 1697 01:07:05,605 --> 01:07:07,945 {\an1}This is--this is good, this is good stuff. 1698 01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:10,066 {\an1}- I feel ready, Coach. 1699 01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:11,193 {\an1}- ♪ Whoo! ♪ 1700 01:07:11,277 --> 01:07:13,737 {\an1}♪ Cheers to the weekend, everybody ♪ 1701 01:07:13,821 --> 01:07:16,571 {\an1}♪ Let me see your cups up, show me how you party ♪ 1702 01:07:16,658 --> 01:07:17,908 {\an1}- I’m sorry, sir, my husband doesn’t 1703 01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:19,082 {\an1}know how to drive that well. 1704 01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,580 {\an1}- Excuse me--no, excuse me. 1705 01:07:20,662 --> 01:07:23,212 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1706 01:07:23,289 --> 01:07:25,789 {\an1}- ♪ Cheers to the weekend, whoo! ♪ 1707 01:07:25,917 --> 01:07:28,877 {\an1}- Today, we have a little surprise for our couples. 1708 01:07:28,962 --> 01:07:31,262 {\an1}Now, unbeknownst to them, Dr. Pepper and I 1709 01:07:31,339 --> 01:07:33,589 {\an1}are here watching their every move. 1710 01:07:33,675 --> 01:07:37,095 {\an1}We want to see if any unanswered questions remain, 1711 01:07:37,178 --> 01:07:38,798 {\an1}if they’ve taken the advice that we’ve given, 1712 01:07:38,930 --> 01:07:42,060 {\an1}and see if we can offer any course corrections 1713 01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:43,771 {\an1}to get them on the right track. 1714 01:07:43,893 --> 01:07:44,943 {\an1}- Here they are. 1715 01:07:45,019 --> 01:07:46,939 {\an1}- Okay, all right. 1716 01:07:48,189 --> 01:07:49,899 {\an1}- Well, you ready? - Yeah, I am. 1717 01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:52,153 {\an1}- Let’s find out what they’ve been up to. 1718 01:07:52,277 --> 01:07:54,107 {\an1}- I know. All right. 1719 01:07:54,195 --> 01:07:56,235 {\an1}- Mark and I and Steve and you two? 1720 01:07:56,322 --> 01:07:59,332 {\an1}- We’ve had so many tough conversations with our couples 1721 01:07:59,450 --> 01:08:02,580 {\an1}this week, so Dr. Pepper and I want to see how they get 1722 01:08:02,662 --> 01:08:06,502 {\an1}along with each other during a purely fun activity. 1723 01:08:06,624 --> 01:08:08,924 {\an1}We’re hoping to see some interaction that shows us 1724 01:08:09,002 --> 01:08:12,252 {\an1}that their relationship is on the right trajectory. 1725 01:08:12,338 --> 01:08:13,588 {\an1}[laughter] 1726 01:08:13,673 --> 01:08:15,423 {\an1}- Wait, wait, wait, wait! 1727 01:08:15,508 --> 01:08:17,508 {\an1}- What? Just the effort. 1728 01:08:20,345 --> 01:08:21,306 {\an1}Yo! 1729 01:08:21,389 --> 01:08:22,769 {\an1}- That’s why--that’s why you messed it up! 1730 01:08:22,849 --> 01:08:24,269 {\an1}Look at her! 1731 01:08:24,350 --> 01:08:26,479 {\an1}- Oh, they had a little thing worked out, 1732 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:28,101 {\an1}taking their clothes off together. 1733 01:08:28,187 --> 01:08:30,477 {\an1}- ♪ It’s time to go, get out there ♪ 1734 01:08:30,565 --> 01:08:31,944 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1735 01:08:32,024 --> 01:08:33,944 {\an1}♪ Do something with yourself ♪ 1736 01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:36,107 {\an1}♪ Move till you’re out of breath ♪ 1737 01:08:36,194 --> 01:08:38,485 {\an1}♪ Shake till there’s nothin’ left ♪ 1738 01:08:38,615 --> 01:08:40,665 {\an1}- All right. - Just hit up--up. 1739 01:08:40,742 --> 01:08:42,282 {\an1}- Okay. 1740 01:08:42,368 --> 01:08:44,157 {\an1}- I think Olajuwon is the only one who’s talked 1741 01:08:44,245 --> 01:08:46,575 {\an1}to his wife about anything. 1742 01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:49,630 {\an1}- You got it, Katina! 1743 01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,499 {\an1}- Oh, who’s got it? 1744 01:08:51,585 --> 01:08:53,626 {\an1}- That was good, though. - Katina let it fall. 1745 01:08:53,712 --> 01:08:56,973 {\an1}- Oh, that was not her best effort. 1746 01:08:57,050 --> 01:09:00,639 {\an1}- ♪ It’s time to go, get out there ♪ 1747 01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:02,510 {\an1}♪ Do something with yourself ♪ 1748 01:09:02,639 --> 01:09:04,809 {\an1}- Hey! - You got it. 1749 01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:08,982 {\an1}[laughter] 1750 01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:11,152 {\an1}- I got you, baby, I won’t let you fall. 1751 01:09:11,229 --> 01:09:12,860 {\an1}- She’s on the ground again. - Yeah. 1752 01:09:12,940 --> 01:09:14,819 {\an1}- It’s going down. 1753 01:09:14,901 --> 01:09:17,531 {\an1}- Mike. - That was you, Mike. 1754 01:09:17,654 --> 01:09:19,164 {\an1}- I had sand in my eye, that don’t count! 1755 01:09:19,237 --> 01:09:21,407 {\an1}- ♪ Get out there, all right ♪ 1756 01:09:21,532 --> 01:09:23,832 {\an1}♪ You gotta bump and grind ♪ 1757 01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:26,080 {\an1}♪ Keep working that behind ♪ 1758 01:09:26,203 --> 01:09:28,164 {\an1}♪ Girl, making you so fine ♪ 1759 01:09:28,246 --> 01:09:30,746 {\an1}- No, that’s good-- that’s good, play it! 1760 01:09:31,917 --> 01:09:33,708 {\an1}You hit that, Lindsey. 1761 01:09:33,835 --> 01:09:35,335 {\an1}Oh, right there. 1762 01:09:35,421 --> 01:09:37,171 {\an1}- Oh! 1763 01:09:37,255 --> 01:09:39,876 {\an1}- That was sickening. 1764 01:09:39,967 --> 01:09:43,256 {\an1}- Steve was doing a very good job today for Team Meyer. 1765 01:09:43,388 --> 01:09:44,888 {\an1}- Steve is very--wait a minute. 1766 01:09:44,971 --> 01:09:46,352 {\an1}How is it Team Meyer? He’s a Moy. 1767 01:09:46,432 --> 01:09:48,062 {\an1}- Because--because there’s two out of three 1768 01:09:48,184 --> 01:09:49,234 {\an1}Meyers, so it’s clearly-- 1769 01:09:49,309 --> 01:09:50,899 {\an1}- How about we be the M&M, the Moy and Meyer. 1770 01:09:50,978 --> 01:09:52,898 {\an1}- No, we’re not a chocolate candy. 1771 01:09:52,979 --> 01:09:55,190 {\an1}- Okay. 1772 01:09:55,273 --> 01:09:56,534 {\an1}- That was a good workout. - That was good. 1773 01:09:56,609 --> 01:09:57,859 {\an1}- That was a good workout. 1774 01:09:57,943 --> 01:09:59,364 {\an1}- Switching right now. Take over. 1775 01:09:59,445 --> 01:10:00,525 {\an1}- I have to tell you. 1776 01:10:00,612 --> 01:10:02,573 {\an1}[laughter] 1777 01:10:02,657 --> 01:10:04,867 {\an1}- So how’s everyone doing in their marriage? 1778 01:10:04,951 --> 01:10:06,121 {\an1}- [laughs] 1779 01:10:06,244 --> 01:10:08,584 {\an1}- I mean, we’re in a better place where--the sort of place 1780 01:10:08,705 --> 01:10:11,875 {\an1}where you have to get, like--we have a short amount of time 1781 01:10:11,958 --> 01:10:14,418 {\an1}till Decision Day so there’s still a lot of conversations 1782 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:16,384 {\an1}that we have to have with each other in order 1783 01:10:16,462 --> 01:10:18,262 {\an1}to feel like we really, really understand each other 1784 01:10:18,339 --> 01:10:20,259 {\an1}at the core, and that’s what we’re 1785 01:10:20,341 --> 01:10:22,721 {\an1}focusing on right now, is having deeper and deeper 1786 01:10:22,802 --> 01:10:24,802 {\an1}conversations to really get to know each other. 1787 01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:26,719 {\an1}- Well, that’s good. 1788 01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:31,561 {\an1}- I’ll wait till you finish eating. 1789 01:10:31,644 --> 01:10:33,814 {\an1}- No, you go ahead. 1790 01:10:33,938 --> 01:10:35,108 {\an1}- What’s going on? 1791 01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:38,398 {\an1}- This past week, we had some tough days and it just was 1792 01:10:38,484 --> 01:10:42,914 {\an1}such strong arguments that, like, I feel like some things 1793 01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:45,239 {\an1}were just said that were, like, a little... 1794 01:10:45,324 --> 01:10:47,334 {\an1}- We both cut each other, like, in words. 1795 01:10:47,452 --> 01:10:48,912 {\an1}- Goin’ for the--goin’ for the hurt. 1796 01:10:48,995 --> 01:10:51,755 {\an1}- Like, when I want to say how I feel--side note, 1797 01:10:51,831 --> 01:10:53,421 {\an1}there’s, like, one volleyball stuck in the middle 1798 01:10:53,499 --> 01:10:55,749 {\an1}of the sprinkler up there on the very top 1799 01:10:55,835 --> 01:10:56,925 {\an1}and I just want to know the story 1800 01:10:57,003 --> 01:10:57,843 {\an1}of how that got there. 1801 01:10:57,962 --> 01:11:01,762 {\an1}- She diverts. She always does that. 1802 01:11:01,841 --> 01:11:03,630 {\an1}She diverts from the serious issues 1803 01:11:03,718 --> 01:11:06,428 {\an1}to say something that’s completely irrelevant. 1804 01:11:06,512 --> 01:11:08,472 {\an1}- But it’s tough for me because I keep trying 1805 01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:11,476 {\an1}to make adjustments, but we’re just different. 1806 01:11:11,559 --> 01:11:12,429 {\an1}It’s just a very different-- 1807 01:11:12,518 --> 01:11:14,518 {\an1}I have a very different perspective. 1808 01:11:14,645 --> 01:11:16,684 {\an1}I’m a little bit more protective of me and what 1809 01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:19,693 {\an1}I deserve, versus what I want to give to someone. 1810 01:11:20,818 --> 01:11:22,948 {\an1}- Don’t cry, Lindsey. 1811 01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:24,818 {\an1}- They’re both afraid of their emotions. 1812 01:11:24,906 --> 01:11:26,276 {\an1}- They really are. 1813 01:11:26,365 --> 01:11:28,525 {\an1}- But she’s at least expressing them. 1814 01:11:28,659 --> 01:11:30,999 {\an1}- She’s very real with herself. 1815 01:11:31,077 --> 01:11:34,958 {\an1}She knows--she knows herself, she really does. 1816 01:11:35,041 --> 01:11:36,460 {\an1}- Yeah, and I think Mark’s a great guy. 1817 01:11:36,541 --> 01:11:40,172 {\an1}Like, I think he’s wonderful. 1818 01:11:41,589 --> 01:11:43,469 {\an1}But--thank you, babe, it doesn’t mean that, 1819 01:11:43,549 --> 01:11:45,969 {\an1}you know, like... 1820 01:11:47,386 --> 01:11:50,675 {\an1}Sometimes the best intentions don’t 1821 01:11:50,764 --> 01:11:52,565 {\an1}necessarily have the best delivery and I think 1822 01:11:52,683 --> 01:11:55,523 {\an1}that sometimes we get in that loophole. 1823 01:11:55,645 --> 01:11:57,655 {\an1}- He needs to give her something. 1824 01:11:57,730 --> 01:12:02,650 {\an1}- He--he so does--he so does, he really does. 1825 01:12:02,735 --> 01:12:04,645 {\an1}- She’s reaching out to him now, he’s not very-- 1826 01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:06,947 {\an1}- He’s not responding at all. 1827 01:12:08,782 --> 01:12:09,833 {\an1}He’s not responding at all. 1828 01:12:09,909 --> 01:12:11,789 {\an1}- No, she made a bid. 1829 01:12:14,371 --> 01:12:17,371 {\an1}She couldn’t be leaning over to him more, and he’s... 1830 01:12:17,458 --> 01:12:19,338 {\an1}- What’s he doing? 1831 01:12:19,418 --> 01:12:21,548 {\an1}- Nothing right now. 1832 01:12:23,422 --> 01:12:24,472 {\an1}- Yeah, we’re doing good. 1833 01:12:24,549 --> 01:12:27,549 {\an1}- I would say my wife and I are doing very well. 1834 01:12:27,635 --> 01:12:30,355 {\an1}Our communication is-- every day, we’re working on it. 1835 01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:31,719 {\an1}And I want to let you guys know, 1836 01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:36,228 {\an1}I apologize for how the dinner ended last time I seen y’all. 1837 01:12:36,309 --> 01:12:37,690 {\an1}I’m not gonna tiptoe around nobody, 1838 01:12:37,770 --> 01:12:39,730 {\an1}’cause I don’t do that, so... 1839 01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:42,016 {\an1}but you guys got to see, I care for my wife. 1840 01:12:42,108 --> 01:12:44,737 {\an1}And Dr. Pepper, she had some concerns. 1841 01:12:44,861 --> 01:12:47,031 {\an1}And I said, "Okay, let’s talk about it." 1842 01:12:47,112 --> 01:12:49,913 {\an1}She said, "What bothers me, and it’s clear, 1843 01:12:49,991 --> 01:12:52,621 {\an1}"you belittle your wife, and you make yourself 1844 01:12:52,743 --> 01:12:54,873 {\an1}seem more superior." 1845 01:12:54,954 --> 01:12:56,464 {\an1}So I said to Dr. Pepper is, I said, 1846 01:12:56,581 --> 01:12:59,630 {\an1}"No, I think you got the wrong perception of us." 1847 01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:02,710 {\an1}My wife is very reserved, and I’m--I think I speak a lot. 1848 01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:04,705 {\an1}I like to talk, we all know that. 1849 01:13:04,797 --> 01:13:07,257 {\an1}And so if I’m talking a lot it could seem like maybe 1850 01:13:07,341 --> 01:13:09,931 {\an1}I’m talking, like, trying to belittle you or something. 1851 01:13:10,011 --> 01:13:12,550 {\an1}I asked my wife, "Do I belittle you?" 1852 01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:14,468 {\an1}And that’s the same reaction I got, 1853 01:13:14,599 --> 01:13:17,599 {\an1}it was just a laugh and, like, I can’t believe 1854 01:13:17,684 --> 01:13:20,275 {\an1}your conversation was this. 1855 01:13:20,353 --> 01:13:23,114 {\an1}She said I heard--I heard, so I had to remind 1856 01:13:23,232 --> 01:13:26,242 {\an1}Dr. Pepper or tell her, "It’s cool that you heard, 1857 01:13:26,318 --> 01:13:29,409 {\an1}but I’m a grown man, I don’t do the he said, she said game." 1858 01:13:29,487 --> 01:13:31,068 {\an1}And I feel like, as a expert, you shouldn’t take 1859 01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:32,907 {\an1}the he said, she said. 1860 01:13:32,992 --> 01:13:35,742 {\an1}Get a good grasp of two people and then bring it-- 1861 01:13:35,827 --> 01:13:38,157 {\an1}bring the manner up, but don’t go off of 1862 01:13:38,289 --> 01:13:40,669 {\an1}he said, she said because, Dr. Pepper, did it help me? 1863 01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:42,960 {\an1}Not at all. 1864 01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:44,955 {\an1}- Wow. 1865 01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:47,757 {\an1}- 90% of it was a waste, I’m gonna be honest with you. 1866 01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,630 {\an1}[dramatic music] 1867 01:13:49,759 --> 01:13:51,759 {\an1}Like, I felt like it was a waste because I could have 1868 01:13:51,844 --> 01:13:54,103 {\an1}met with a expert and really talked about something 1869 01:13:54,180 --> 01:13:57,100 {\an1}that helps my marriage, but I didn’t. 1870 01:13:57,183 --> 01:13:59,983 {\an1}We--it was more of me catching Dr. Pepper up because she had 1871 01:14:00,061 --> 01:14:02,481 {\an1}no clue of what has been going on, and she made it clear. 1872 01:14:02,605 --> 01:14:03,775 {\an1}- Keep talking, Olajuwon. 1873 01:14:03,856 --> 01:14:06,606 {\an1}- If--if you’re gonna feed something to the experts, 1874 01:14:06,692 --> 01:14:08,612 {\an1}feed something that’s gonna help my marriage, 1875 01:14:08,693 --> 01:14:10,994 {\an1}not keep bringing negative [bleep] to us. 1876 01:14:11,112 --> 01:14:12,823 {\an1}- Okay, let’s go. 1877 01:14:12,907 --> 01:14:14,777 {\an1}- That’s why I thought the expert with me, 1878 01:14:14,867 --> 01:14:16,987 {\an1}Dr. Pepper, was such a waste. 1879 01:14:17,119 --> 01:14:20,039 {\an1}[tense music] 1880 01:14:20,164 --> 01:14:21,674 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1881 01:14:21,749 --> 01:14:24,209 {\an1}- Oh, my God. 1882 01:14:24,335 --> 01:14:25,844 {\an1}[laughter] 1883 01:14:25,962 --> 01:14:27,382 {\an1}- Oh! 1884 01:14:27,505 --> 01:14:28,215 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1885 01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:32,719 {\an1}- I thought the expert with me, Dr. Pepper, 1886 01:14:32,843 --> 01:14:34,853 {\an1}was such a waste. 1887 01:14:34,929 --> 01:14:36,219 {\an1}[tense music] 1888 01:14:36,347 --> 01:14:39,267 {\an1}- Oh, my God. 1889 01:14:39,350 --> 01:14:40,559 {\an1}[laughter] 1890 01:14:40,684 --> 01:14:42,855 {\an1}- Oh! 1891 01:14:44,188 --> 01:14:46,938 {\an1}- What’s up? - Wow! 1892 01:14:47,023 --> 01:14:48,574 {\an1}- We wanted to talk to you guys. 1893 01:14:48,693 --> 01:14:50,443 {\an1}We’ve been listening to your conversations. 1894 01:14:50,528 --> 01:14:52,028 {\an1}- [bleep]. 1895 01:14:52,112 --> 01:14:54,282 {\an1}- And we really think there’s lots to talk about. 1896 01:14:54,365 --> 01:14:56,955 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1897 01:14:57,034 --> 01:15:00,294 {\an1}So we want to go over all the couples 1898 01:15:00,371 --> 01:15:04,291 {\an1}and underline some advice, maybe. 1899 01:15:04,375 --> 01:15:05,795 {\an1}- Don’t look at me like I’m the first victim. 1900 01:15:05,876 --> 01:15:06,706 {\an1}[laughter] 1901 01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:09,134 {\an1}- Well, we’ll make you the second. 1902 01:15:09,213 --> 01:15:10,633 {\an1}- Okay. 1903 01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:12,975 {\an1}- What I did in my interview with Olajuwon 1904 01:15:13,050 --> 01:15:15,090 {\an1}that he loved so much 1905 01:15:15,219 --> 01:15:19,309 {\an1}was to have him interpret what I was hearing 1906 01:15:19,389 --> 01:15:21,980 {\an1}for the people who watch him every day 1907 01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:24,099 {\an1}so that you can clear up, from his point of view, 1908 01:15:24,228 --> 01:15:26,018 {\an1}what his marriage is and is not, 1909 01:15:26,105 --> 01:15:29,485 {\an1}and how it has changed from the beginning to this period. 1910 01:15:29,567 --> 01:15:31,937 {\an1}You may disagree on what was being said, 1911 01:15:32,068 --> 01:15:34,818 {\an1}or what was shared with me, but we’re really not here 1912 01:15:34,905 --> 01:15:36,815 {\an1}to go back and forth on that. 1913 01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,987 {\an1}The important thing is that the marriage is going well, 1914 01:15:39,076 --> 01:15:40,486 {\an1}that you care about each other, 1915 01:15:40,577 --> 01:15:42,748 {\an1}that you’re feeling closer to one another. 1916 01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:46,170 {\an1}So to me, that’s a win, regardless of anything else. 1917 01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:48,840 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1918 01:15:48,919 --> 01:15:51,839 {\an1}- Maybe in our one on one, she--it didn’t come out right. 1919 01:15:51,922 --> 01:15:55,842 {\an1}So I was happy that she--she cleared the air, but this 1920 01:15:55,925 --> 01:15:59,716 {\an1}is me and Katina’s marriage, and this is how we get along. 1921 01:15:59,805 --> 01:16:02,344 {\an1}We can’t shape it to make America happy, 1922 01:16:02,433 --> 01:16:03,983 {\an1}or anybody else happy. 1923 01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:06,061 {\an1}We’re gonna shape it that makes her and I 1924 01:16:06,145 --> 01:16:09,695 {\an1}both excited to see each other. 1925 01:16:09,773 --> 01:16:11,614 {\an1}- Nothing is always perfect. 1926 01:16:11,692 --> 01:16:13,032 {\an1}Your relationship’s not perfect, 1927 01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:14,440 {\an1}and you know that, okay? 1928 01:16:14,528 --> 01:16:17,987 {\an1}But the one thing that I do know about you, 1929 01:16:18,115 --> 01:16:22,035 {\an1}Katina, is that you have resolution in mind. 1930 01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:23,539 {\an1}So irrespective of what’s going on, 1931 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:25,210 {\an1}your first thing is how do we resolve this? 1932 01:16:25,289 --> 01:16:26,999 {\an1}How do I bring peace? 1933 01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:29,044 {\an1}That is a beautiful thing, and that’s what 1934 01:16:29,126 --> 01:16:30,876 {\an1}you need in your in your world. 1935 01:16:30,960 --> 01:16:34,591 {\an1}This woman is exactly what you need. 1936 01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:36,843 {\an1}I hope you’re hearing me, boy. 1937 01:16:36,967 --> 01:16:40,347 {\an1}This woman is exactly what you need, do you hear me? 1938 01:16:40,471 --> 01:16:42,221 {\an1}- I always say it, that’s one of the best 1939 01:16:42,306 --> 01:16:43,675 {\an1}things I love about my match. 1940 01:16:43,808 --> 01:16:48,148 {\an1}And I’m not in love, but we resolve things 1941 01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:50,400 {\an1}and I think it’s because it’s in her--it’s in her. 1942 01:16:50,481 --> 01:16:52,231 {\an1}- Can I speak to that real quick? 1943 01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:53,526 {\an1}You said, "I’m not in love." 1944 01:16:53,651 --> 01:16:54,861 {\an1}- Yes. - Right? 1945 01:16:54,985 --> 01:16:56,235 {\an1}Are you committed to her? 1946 01:16:56,320 --> 01:16:57,950 {\an1}- Yeah, absolutely-- absolutely, yeah. 1947 01:16:58,030 --> 01:16:59,570 {\an1}- Do you want anybody else? 1948 01:16:59,657 --> 01:17:00,987 {\an1}- No--no, we just got married. 1949 01:17:01,075 --> 01:17:02,915 {\an1}- I’m just asking you--I’m just asking you. 1950 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:03,913 {\an1}- No--no. 1951 01:17:03,994 --> 01:17:05,254 {\an1}- Okay, all right, all right, all right. 1952 01:17:05,329 --> 01:17:07,959 {\an1}Love is making a decision to commit 1953 01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:09,920 {\an1}to fulfilling another person’s legitimate needs. 1954 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:11,920 {\an1}The feelings come after that. - Right. 1955 01:17:12,002 --> 01:17:16,262 {\an1}- And most people are in love before they think they are. 1956 01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:18,260 {\an1}- Love’s not a yes or no question. 1957 01:17:18,342 --> 01:17:21,092 {\an1}Love is something that grows, you know? 1958 01:17:21,178 --> 01:17:23,258 {\an1}I feel more in love with my husband 1959 01:17:23,347 --> 01:17:24,347 {\an1}than I did in the beginning. 1960 01:17:24,473 --> 01:17:27,433 {\an1}Doesn’t mean I wasn’t in love in the beginning, 1961 01:17:27,518 --> 01:17:29,728 {\an1}it just gets bigger. 1962 01:17:29,853 --> 01:17:31,614 {\an1}- Yeah, you’re growing into it. - Yeah. 1963 01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:33,398 {\an1}- All right, you’re not falling in it. 1964 01:17:33,523 --> 01:17:35,284 {\an1}- Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 1965 01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:37,818 {\an1}My feelings are growing every day with Katina, 1966 01:17:37,903 --> 01:17:39,573 {\an1}but love is a deep word, 1967 01:17:39,697 --> 01:17:42,817 {\an1}and I can’t know if I can say the L word yet. 1968 01:17:42,907 --> 01:17:46,948 {\an1}But um, I am 100% committed to my wife. 1969 01:17:47,037 --> 01:17:50,957 {\an1}- Well, let me move on to--to you guys. 1970 01:17:51,041 --> 01:17:53,791 {\an1}Don’t look scared. [laughter] 1971 01:17:53,878 --> 01:17:55,798 {\an1}- Mark looks scared all the time. 1972 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:57,710 {\an1}- He does, he’s got the signature look. 1973 01:17:57,798 --> 01:17:59,548 {\an1}- It’s like... 1974 01:17:59,633 --> 01:18:02,803 {\an1}- So we talked about that a lot of your anger 1975 01:18:02,887 --> 01:18:04,807 {\an1}comes from sadness. 1976 01:18:04,889 --> 01:18:07,559 {\an1}And I get it, but anger is exactly the thing 1977 01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:10,891 {\an1}that makes him shut down because of his past. 1978 01:18:10,978 --> 01:18:13,938 {\an1}And so I just would like to remind you, 1979 01:18:14,064 --> 01:18:17,654 {\an1}if you could go to why it hurts, why you feel bad, 1980 01:18:17,735 --> 01:18:22,035 {\an1}I think that would stop this escalation of pain 1981 01:18:22,114 --> 01:18:24,534 {\an1}being expressed through anger back and forth. 1982 01:18:24,617 --> 01:18:27,987 {\an1}Because it just isn’t helping you guys. 1983 01:18:29,413 --> 01:18:32,463 {\an1}But, Mark, she was really reaching out to you there, 1984 01:18:32,583 --> 01:18:33,833 {\an1}and then you couldn’t have gotten 1985 01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:35,538 {\an1}further away in your chair. 1986 01:18:35,628 --> 01:18:38,258 {\an1}And I get that would be the reactive thing to do, 1987 01:18:38,339 --> 01:18:42,009 {\an1}but if you could even just touch when you’re upset, 1988 01:18:42,092 --> 01:18:44,182 {\an1}it shows you’re still in connection, 1989 01:18:44,261 --> 01:18:45,721 {\an1}even if you’re upset. 1990 01:18:45,804 --> 01:18:48,894 {\an1}- Lindsey needs to know that you are there. 1991 01:18:48,974 --> 01:18:51,693 {\an1}Show her that you’re--you know, that you’re there, man. 1992 01:18:51,769 --> 01:18:53,689 {\an1}And I know--and we talked about because 1993 01:18:53,771 --> 01:18:55,561 {\an1}I asked you the question, are you in this? 1994 01:18:55,648 --> 01:18:56,858 {\an1}And you said, yeah, I’m in it. 1995 01:18:56,941 --> 01:19:00,991 {\an1}I’m--yeah, I’m not--I’m not going nowhere, I’m in it. 1996 01:19:01,111 --> 01:19:02,241 {\an1}Have you told her that? 1997 01:19:02,321 --> 01:19:04,411 {\an1}- I told her that night. - You told her that that night? 1998 01:19:04,490 --> 01:19:06,160 {\an1}- Yeah. - He told you that that night? 1999 01:19:06,282 --> 01:19:07,163 {\an1}- I said I wasn’t going anywhere, 2000 01:19:07,284 --> 01:19:08,544 {\an1}but there’s things that we have to work on. 2001 01:19:08,619 --> 01:19:12,369 {\an1}- I did hear you say that that night, but then I felt 2002 01:19:12,456 --> 01:19:15,076 {\an1}like the actions were quite the opposite. 2003 01:19:15,166 --> 01:19:17,837 {\an1}♪ ♪ 2004 01:19:17,962 --> 01:19:19,882 {\an1}- Understand that it’s going to take some time too. 2005 01:19:19,964 --> 01:19:21,554 {\an1}He’s got a--he’s-- you got to give him 2006 01:19:21,632 --> 01:19:24,592 {\an1}some--give him some spac--give him some time to get-- 2007 01:19:24,677 --> 01:19:26,007 {\an1}Oh, girl, give him some time. - It’s hard, girl. 2008 01:19:26,136 --> 01:19:29,136 {\an1}- I know it’s hard. What do I always say? 2009 01:19:29,264 --> 01:19:31,355 {\an1}Marriage ain’t for punks. 2010 01:19:31,475 --> 01:19:33,344 {\an1}- Marriage ain’t for punks, man. 2011 01:19:33,477 --> 01:19:36,347 {\an1}I feel like I’m getting punked sometimes. 2012 01:19:36,480 --> 01:19:37,940 {\an1}- I need you to wo-man up. 2013 01:19:38,023 --> 01:19:39,733 {\an1}This is a good man. 2014 01:19:39,817 --> 01:19:42,777 {\an1}- I know he’s a good man, but he drives me bananas. 2015 01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:45,491 {\an1}- Welcome to marriage! 2016 01:19:45,572 --> 01:19:47,912 {\an1}How many husbands don’t drive their wives bananas? 2017 01:19:47,992 --> 01:19:50,242 {\an1}- Long distance ones. 2018 01:19:50,327 --> 01:19:53,537 {\an1}- All right--Lindsey, I need you to focus and stay with me. 2019 01:19:53,664 --> 01:19:55,294 {\an1}And, Mark, stop that look. 2020 01:19:55,374 --> 01:19:57,544 {\an1}[laughter] 2021 01:19:57,668 --> 01:20:01,758 {\an1}- He can’t--he can’t, his face is stuck that way. 2022 01:20:01,839 --> 01:20:05,589 {\an1}- Just two things I would say to you guys--and everybody, 2023 01:20:05,675 --> 01:20:08,296 {\an1}actually, one is that no man’s gonna 2024 01:20:08,387 --> 01:20:10,677 {\an1}be your girlfriend or your mother. 2025 01:20:10,764 --> 01:20:13,644 {\an1}They try their best to give us intimacy and we just 2026 01:20:13,726 --> 01:20:16,596 {\an1}have to appreciate that that’s what they’re trying to do. 2027 01:20:16,687 --> 01:20:19,057 {\an1}And to ding them too much for that is just 2028 01:20:19,189 --> 01:20:22,068 {\an1}to make yourself and them unhappy. 2029 01:20:22,192 --> 01:20:24,112 {\an1}Well, let’s go on to--to you guys. 2030 01:20:24,193 --> 01:20:25,784 {\an1}- I thought we were done for the day. 2031 01:20:25,862 --> 01:20:26,952 {\an1}[laughter] 2032 01:20:27,031 --> 01:20:28,951 {\an1}- You wish. 2033 01:20:29,032 --> 01:20:31,623 {\an1}How do you feel your discussion went with Michael 2034 01:20:31,702 --> 01:20:33,502 {\an1}when you came back? 2035 01:20:36,707 --> 01:20:39,787 {\an1}- You always start off there. - Jasmina! 2036 01:20:39,877 --> 01:20:44,627 {\an1}- No, we had a great discussion once we got back home. 2037 01:20:44,715 --> 01:20:47,434 {\an1}We cleared up a lot of things with each other. 2038 01:20:47,550 --> 01:20:51,471 {\an1}One of his concerns was, am I still holding 2039 01:20:51,555 --> 01:20:53,764 {\an1}myself back from being vulnerable? 2040 01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:56,021 {\an1}And, you know, I told him I was doing that 2041 01:20:56,101 --> 01:20:58,141 {\an1}because I felt like you didn’t care for me. 2042 01:20:58,228 --> 01:21:00,478 {\an1}And now we’re in a place where I feel like he genuinely 2043 01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:04,484 {\an1}does care for me so I’m not holding back being vulnerable. 2044 01:21:04,568 --> 01:21:08,528 {\an1}So I think it was a good conversation on--on both parts. 2045 01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:12,660 {\an1}- I’m so glad you guys talked about the vulnerability thing 2046 01:21:12,743 --> 01:21:15,873 {\an1}because I had asked you to be 2047 01:21:15,954 --> 01:21:19,464 {\an1}more initiative in creating intimacy. 2048 01:21:19,583 --> 01:21:21,253 {\an1}Are you comfortable with him being more-- 2049 01:21:21,377 --> 01:21:23,627 {\an1}taking more initiative? 2050 01:21:23,754 --> 01:21:25,924 {\an1}- Oh, I mean--I don’t-- I told Dr. Pepper, 2051 01:21:26,005 --> 01:21:27,546 {\an1}I don’t give him the stiff arm. 2052 01:21:27,633 --> 01:21:30,013 {\an1}Like, when we’re sittin’ on the couch, we’re close. 2053 01:21:30,094 --> 01:21:32,353 {\an1}You know, we we hug when we see each other. 2054 01:21:32,429 --> 01:21:35,469 {\an1}I’m not uncomfortable with things like that, 2055 01:21:35,599 --> 01:21:39,689 {\an1}it’s just I feel nothing from it... 2056 01:21:39,770 --> 01:21:42,690 {\an1}♪ ♪ 2057 01:21:42,773 --> 01:21:46,323 {\an1}Because we don’t have that deep connection, 2058 01:21:46,443 --> 01:21:47,823 {\an1}or that strong foundation, 2059 01:21:47,945 --> 01:21:49,655 {\an1}or I don’t know a lot about him. 2060 01:21:49,780 --> 01:21:52,200 {\an1}- Even still, you don’t? - Yes, even still. 2061 01:21:52,282 --> 01:21:55,291 {\an1}♪ ♪ 2062 01:21:55,369 --> 01:21:58,539 {\an1}- Could I say a small language thing that I think is helpful? 2063 01:21:58,621 --> 01:21:59,462 {\an1}- Yeah. 2064 01:21:59,540 --> 01:22:02,170 {\an1}- I would say "I don’t have yet" 2065 01:22:02,291 --> 01:22:04,882 {\an1}as opposed to "I don’t have," because it sounds like 2066 01:22:04,962 --> 01:22:06,922 {\an1}the end of the sentence, this is it, 2067 01:22:07,005 --> 01:22:09,215 {\an1}as opposed to what’s true is you’re all 2068 01:22:09,299 --> 01:22:11,049 {\an1}still working at everything, right? 2069 01:22:11,135 --> 01:22:12,225 {\an1}You’re getting to know each other. 2070 01:22:12,302 --> 01:22:14,892 {\an1}The next day may be different from the last day, 2071 01:22:14,972 --> 01:22:17,142 {\an1}but that’s the path you’re on, which is to open 2072 01:22:17,224 --> 01:22:20,064 {\an1}those things up with each other. 2073 01:22:20,144 --> 01:22:22,234 {\an1}- No one said it was gonna be easy. 2074 01:22:22,312 --> 01:22:24,232 {\an1}I told you that, but I can’t prepare you enough. 2075 01:22:24,314 --> 01:22:25,773 {\an1}None of us can prepare you enough. 2076 01:22:25,858 --> 01:22:28,528 {\an1}Dr. Pepper, Dr. Viv, we--myself, we told y’all, 2077 01:22:28,652 --> 01:22:29,822 {\an1}this is gonna be tough. 2078 01:22:29,945 --> 01:22:36,195 {\an1}I want to remind you, every one of you wanted this badly. 2079 01:22:36,326 --> 01:22:38,076 {\an1}You really wanted to be married. 2080 01:22:38,162 --> 01:22:39,621 {\an1}- You were not picked by accident. 2081 01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:40,665 {\an1}- No--no. 2082 01:22:40,746 --> 01:22:42,077 {\an1}- You were not put together by accident. 2083 01:22:42,166 --> 01:22:45,706 {\an1}- Nope, if you do the work, you can have a happy marriage. 2084 01:22:45,835 --> 01:22:48,085 {\an1}Fight through it and make it work. 2085 01:22:48,172 --> 01:22:51,172 {\an1}- ♪ I just wanna get to know you ♪ 2086 01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:53,760 {\an1}- Road trip time! 2087 01:22:53,844 --> 01:22:55,974 {\an1}- Next time on "Married At First Sight"... 2088 01:22:56,054 --> 01:22:57,224 {\an1}- I’ve never been to Vermont. 2089 01:22:57,347 --> 01:22:58,597 {\an1}- Wow, this is gorgeous. 2090 01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:01,602 {\an1}- ♪ This is the American dream ♪ 2091 01:23:01,684 --> 01:23:03,014 {\an1}[cheering] 2092 01:23:03,103 --> 01:23:04,273 {\an1}- Oh! 2093 01:23:04,353 --> 01:23:06,064 {\an1}Ah! - I got you! 2094 01:23:06,190 --> 01:23:09,190 {\an1}- Seeing my wife be so involved in this, right now, 2095 01:23:09,276 --> 01:23:11,396 {\an1}with the animals--it’s so sexy and so attractive. 2096 01:23:11,528 --> 01:23:13,198 {\an1}- Who is most likely to start a fight? 2097 01:23:13,280 --> 01:23:15,030 {\an1}- I chose Lindsey. - Lindsey. 2098 01:23:15,115 --> 01:23:16,735 {\an1}- Lindsey. - Oh, boy. 2099 01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:18,277 {\an1}This is not gonna be fun. 2100 01:23:18,368 --> 01:23:20,657 {\an1}- I don’t give a [bleep] what y’all think. 2101 01:23:20,746 --> 01:23:22,286 {\an1}- How much more do you have left the school? 2102 01:23:22,371 --> 01:23:23,371 {\an1}- Two years. 2103 01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:24,617 {\an1}- So how you gonna have kids in two years 2104 01:23:24,708 --> 01:23:26,748 {\an1}if you’re just coming out of school? 2105 01:23:26,877 --> 01:23:28,166 {\an1}- You wanna fight with me? 2106 01:23:28,253 --> 01:23:29,303 {\an1}You wanna get tough? 2107 01:23:29,379 --> 01:23:30,919 {\an1}- You’ll really regret the moment 2108 01:23:31,048 --> 01:23:33,298 {\an1}of not staying in this marriage. 2109 01:23:33,383 --> 01:23:35,143 {\an1}- I’m done with you. - Cool, okay. 2110 01:23:35,219 --> 01:23:36,639 {\an1}This is the [bleep] that I don’t wanna deal with 2111 01:23:36,719 --> 01:23:37,639 {\an1}all day now. 2112 01:23:37,721 --> 01:23:39,311 {\an1}- Do you really want to be married to me? 2113 01:23:39,389 --> 01:23:40,809 {\an1}♪ ♪ 2114 01:23:40,891 --> 01:23:42,481 {\an1}- What are you doing? 2115 01:23:42,559 --> 01:23:45,349 {\an1}♪ ♪