1
00:00:01,818 --> 00:00:03,985
- Gosh, you are stunning.
- Oh, thank you.
2
00:00:04,079 --> 00:00:06,563
- I did good. Ooh.
- [laughs]
3
00:00:06,582 --> 00:00:09,750
- 10 singles took
an audacious leap of faith
4
00:00:09,902 --> 00:00:10,843
In order to find love.
5
00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:12,344
[cheers and applause]
6
00:00:12,496 --> 00:00:14,421
They married
as complete strangers.
7
00:00:14,573 --> 00:00:16,089
- Yay!
8
00:00:16,242 --> 00:00:18,017
- This stranger
is now my wife.
9
00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:19,743
I'm super excited.
10
00:00:19,762 --> 00:00:20,519
- ♪ can't you see? ♪
11
00:00:20,670 --> 00:00:22,521
♪ you're the one for me ♪
12
00:00:22,748 --> 00:00:24,857
- Last time,
most of our couples
13
00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:27,267
Took another step forward
as they shared time
14
00:00:27,419 --> 00:00:29,419
With their friends and family.
15
00:00:29,438 --> 00:00:30,604
♪ ♪
16
00:00:30,756 --> 00:00:32,180
Krysten and mitch.
17
00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,699
- We've been consummating
like bunnies.
18
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,942
- Yeah, you have.
- Bunny rabbits!
19
00:00:36,095 --> 00:00:37,594
- I feel like
she really likes me, and I--
20
00:00:37,687 --> 00:00:38,853
It just makes me confident.
21
00:00:38,873 --> 00:00:41,356
- I think that this
is a lifelong marriage.
22
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,950
- Lindy and miguel.
23
00:00:44,103 --> 00:00:45,210
- You've seen that--
24
00:00:45,362 --> 00:00:48,789
Where I can go if I don't feel
safe and secure.
25
00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:50,607
- Yeah, I don't like
that place.
26
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:52,367
- I hear you,
and I'll just keep
27
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,795
Trying my best
to prove that to you.
28
00:00:54,947 --> 00:00:57,389
- Stacia and nate.
29
00:00:57,541 --> 00:00:59,616
- I just feel like
there is this wall.
30
00:00:59,635 --> 00:01:01,785
- He hasn't had a ton
of long-term relationships
31
00:01:01,878 --> 00:01:03,120
With women, especially, like,
32
00:01:03,213 --> 00:01:04,805
Not having a mom around
as well.
33
00:01:04,957 --> 00:01:06,807
So you have to be patient
with him.
34
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:08,901
- She knows how to articulate
her emotions and--
35
00:01:09,052 --> 00:01:12,053
- Yeah.
- But I'm giving my 100% all.
36
00:01:12,147 --> 00:01:14,798
- Morgan and binh.
37
00:01:14,817 --> 00:01:15,632
- I'm trying to make amends.
38
00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:16,742
I'm trying to make it work.
39
00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:19,227
- It takes her a lot longer
to forgive.
40
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,913
- If binh walked through
the door right now,
41
00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:23,064
And I said,
"is she a nurse or not?"
42
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:24,732
What do you think he would say?
- He would say yes.
43
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,159
- Okay, so, like, you gotta
just forgive and forget.
44
00:01:26,312 --> 00:01:28,253
- Ah...
45
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:30,147
- Alexis and justin.
46
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,982
- He was vomiting up blood.
47
00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:33,150
You still didn't
share that to me.
48
00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:34,835
- The reason I didn't
overcommunicate
49
00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,153
'cause I didn't feel
like it was necessary,
50
00:01:36,171 --> 00:01:37,504
'cause I was handling it.
51
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,581
- That's how marriages work.
We just don't communicate.
52
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,824
- Because--because--
- and we're just in the house.
53
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:43,160
- Because you're just perfect.
54
00:01:43,178 --> 00:01:45,829
- ♪ this the city
that don't ever sleep ♪
55
00:01:45,848 --> 00:01:46,772
- And tonight...
56
00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:47,606
- How you doing?
57
00:01:47,757 --> 00:01:49,499
- Our couples will examine
58
00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:51,852
What it will take
to fall in love.
59
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:53,261
- Whoo!
60
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,764
- Seeing her walls
brought down, it feels good.
61
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,450
And whatever I have to do
to make her happy,
62
00:01:58,602 --> 00:01:59,618
I'm gonna do.
63
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:03,347
- You're putting in 100%
effort in this date.
64
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,939
And that means a lot to me.
65
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:05,958
- Trying to keep up, you know?
66
00:02:06,109 --> 00:02:08,201
- You were trying
to get my intentions
67
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:13,114
The wrong way, which
is a form of manipulation.
68
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:16,209
- I hurt you,
and it's 'cause I'm hurt.
69
00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:18,695
- It doesn't seem,
like, authentic.
70
00:02:18,714 --> 00:02:19,713
- Are you gonna gaslight me?
71
00:02:19,865 --> 00:02:22,290
"it feels inauthentic"?
72
00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:25,218
- And then the couples
will meet with a guest expert
73
00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:26,294
To dive into deeper emotions.
74
00:02:26,388 --> 00:02:28,480
- Alexis, do you buy that?
75
00:02:28,707 --> 00:02:29,940
- No.
76
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,155
- If there were
no feelings involved--
77
00:02:36,306 --> 00:02:37,564
- You'd be counting down
the days.
78
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,217
- I would be.
79
00:02:40,235 --> 00:02:43,495
- If you keep not believing
in what I'm trying to do,
80
00:02:43,722 --> 00:02:45,647
It's--it's just not
gonna work out.
81
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,408
[dramatic music]
82
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,227
- ♪ it's all or nothing ♪
83
00:02:50,245 --> 00:02:52,562
- This is
"married at first sight."
84
00:02:52,656 --> 00:02:54,898
- ♪ there's no other way ♪
85
00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:56,341
♪ ♪
86
00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:59,494
♪ it's all or nothing ♪
87
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,829
- ♪ you got me feeling like ♪
88
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,850
♪ I'm crazy, out of my mind ♪
89
00:03:05,001 --> 00:03:08,503
♪ got my walking on sunshine ♪
90
00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:09,688
- Hi, good morning.
91
00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:11,097
- Look at morgan wanting us
to go to the gym
92
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,691
At 7:30 a.M. On a Saturday.
93
00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:13,692
- So no one's here.
94
00:03:13,843 --> 00:03:15,101
- Who does that?
95
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:16,920
We're doing legs, too, so
it's, like, a double whammy.
96
00:03:17,013 --> 00:03:18,697
- We're doing legs.
Hell yeah.
97
00:03:18,924 --> 00:03:20,515
- We got--she's got a date
planned up today,
98
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,426
And she's been smirking
all morning...
99
00:03:22,444 --> 00:03:24,352
- I'm not telling you anything.
- All night.
100
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,206
So I can't wait
to see what it is.
101
00:03:27,357 --> 00:03:30,209
We'll see. Oh, yeah.
102
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,027
- Our five couples
are fully immersed in marriage,
103
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:35,105
For better or for worse.
104
00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:37,791
And between work,
family, and friends,
105
00:03:37,943 --> 00:03:40,052
It can be a lot to get used to.
106
00:03:40,279 --> 00:03:43,630
- Miguel made me
a delicious omelet.
107
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,890
It looks really good.
108
00:03:45,117 --> 00:03:47,634
I can't wait to eat it.
Thanks, baby. [laughs]
109
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:51,045
- Okay, we're on our first walk
as a married couple
110
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,213
Walking luna.
111
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:55,234
- I just learned to walk
for the first time
112
00:03:55,385 --> 00:03:56,384
With a dog and a wife.
113
00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:58,295
If we're lucky,
she might go number two.
114
00:03:58,313 --> 00:03:59,404
- She will go number two.
115
00:03:59,556 --> 00:04:00,814
A mother knows, babe.
116
00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:01,889
- Oh.
- That's number one.
117
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:02,908
That's number one.
118
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:03,967
- That's numero uno.
119
00:04:03,986 --> 00:04:04,985
Numero uno.
120
00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:08,080
- For most couples,
love is already
121
00:04:08,231 --> 00:04:09,897
The glue that
holds them together
122
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,733
As they navigate through
the challenges
123
00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:12,993
That come their way.
124
00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:15,996
- I bought husband something.
- I'm scared.
125
00:04:16,148 --> 00:04:17,998
- Like, I didn't even,
like, wrap it or anything.
126
00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:18,924
- Oh.
127
00:04:19,075 --> 00:04:21,093
Oh, okay, it looks like
a shirt.
128
00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:23,262
- Hopefully, it fits.
129
00:04:23,489 --> 00:04:24,671
- ♪ think about how good
it could be ♪
130
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:25,931
- Yeah, it looks good.
131
00:04:26,082 --> 00:04:28,767
- Our five couples
started with commitment.
132
00:04:28,994 --> 00:04:32,104
But their process of
building and maintaining
133
00:04:32,255 --> 00:04:35,274
That critical connection
begins now.
134
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,183
- So he has his
first face mask on,
135
00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:38,502
Then we have to do a lip mask.
136
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,611
- Oh, for real?
137
00:04:39,838 --> 00:04:42,339
- Yeah, and then we have
to do our smile lines
138
00:04:42,432 --> 00:04:43,448
'cause we both smile a lot.
139
00:04:43,675 --> 00:04:47,619
And then, we have to do
our final mask.
140
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:49,288
- I thought
that's what this was.
141
00:04:49,439 --> 00:04:51,623
- No, this is just step one,
honey.
142
00:04:51,775 --> 00:04:53,867
- Because in almost
five weeks,
143
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,368
They will have to decide
144
00:04:55,521 --> 00:04:58,538
Whether to stay married
or get a divorce.
145
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,540
♪ ♪
146
00:05:00,692 --> 00:05:01,449
- Cheese.
147
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,377
[upbeat music]
148
00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:07,047
♪ ♪
149
00:05:07,199 --> 00:05:10,216
- ♪ come on
and take a chance with me ♪
150
00:05:10,369 --> 00:05:14,704
♪ we are headed
to uncharted waters ♪
151
00:05:14,723 --> 00:05:16,964
♪ I don't know
what we'll see ♪
152
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,817
- I'm so excited.
153
00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:20,060
[laughter]
154
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:21,987
- What is that?
155
00:05:22,214 --> 00:05:23,155
- After everything
we've been through,
156
00:05:23,306 --> 00:05:25,139
I feel like binh and I
are doing better.
157
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:26,399
But there is a lot
158
00:05:26,552 --> 00:05:29,143
That we both need to work on
as a couple.
159
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:32,998
- Why don't you guys try to
start clean and go on a date?
160
00:05:33,225 --> 00:05:34,908
- So after talking
with the girls,
161
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:37,227
The best advice that I got
was just to kind of, like,
162
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,670
Take each other
on a first date
163
00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:40,730
And give each other
a clean slate.
164
00:05:40,749 --> 00:05:42,082
- Welcome to mermaid school.
165
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:44,325
- Oh, my gosh.
- [laughs]
166
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:47,087
And we have tails
you guys can slip on.
167
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,238
- I'm so excited.
168
00:05:48,256 --> 00:05:49,422
- Yes.
I'm putting one of those on?
169
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,516
- Yeah, you are.
170
00:05:51,743 --> 00:05:53,668
Yeah, you're gonna put
one of those on.
171
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,021
- Uh...
- Which one do you want?
172
00:05:56,248 --> 00:05:57,189
- You pick.
173
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:58,431
Do you have, like, a--
174
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,858
- All right, I'm taking
the green one, then.
175
00:06:00,009 --> 00:06:00,767
You get the pink one.
176
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,343
- Perfect.
177
00:06:02,437 --> 00:06:05,271
- I've always wanted someone
who would say yes to anything.
178
00:06:05,424 --> 00:06:07,348
So this is a really good
challenge to see if binh
179
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:10,093
Is up to kind of do anything.
180
00:06:10,112 --> 00:06:12,871
So I just kind of want
to let loose and have fun,
181
00:06:13,022 --> 00:06:15,615
Focus on our intimacy
and building
182
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:17,117
That foundation again.
183
00:06:17,269 --> 00:06:18,710
- You got a aquaman fetish?
184
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:21,195
- [laughs]
185
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:23,440
- You guys can, like,
hold hands here,
186
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:25,533
And do a brisk dolphin kick.
187
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,460
Slow, work up
to your comfort level.
188
00:06:27,613 --> 00:06:29,779
- Okay.
189
00:06:29,798 --> 00:06:32,224
- There you go.
190
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:34,041
- ♪ I'm open-hearted ♪
191
00:06:34,136 --> 00:06:35,619
♪ a hopeful pause ♪
192
00:06:35,637 --> 00:06:37,545
♪ took forever
just to get it ♪
193
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,882
♪ why now, but why not? ♪
194
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,216
- This is, like,
every little girl's dream
195
00:06:42,310 --> 00:06:44,144
Is to be a mermaid.
196
00:06:44,296 --> 00:06:46,071
- ♪ call it what you want ♪
197
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:48,465
♪ I won't fade and run ♪
198
00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:51,651
♪ can we talk about it? ♪
199
00:06:51,803 --> 00:06:54,137
♪ I've been feeling it
for years ♪
200
00:06:54,156 --> 00:06:55,822
♪ you say the right thing ♪
201
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,825
♪ but we're doing nothing,
doing nothing ♪
202
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,752
- Whoo!
203
00:07:00,904 --> 00:07:03,980
[laughter]
204
00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:06,258
- I think you're enjoying this
more than you'd like to admit.
205
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:07,834
- I never would have guessed
that I would have been taking
206
00:07:07,986 --> 00:07:09,577
Mermaid lessons with my wife.
207
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,489
But just seeing her happy
made me happy.
208
00:07:12,507 --> 00:07:14,507
And whatever I have to do
to make her happy,
209
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,584
I'm gonna do, because I want
this marriage to work.
210
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,661
- Ooh.
211
00:07:17,754 --> 00:07:19,179
- Aquaman ain't
got nothing on me.
212
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,164
[laughter]
213
00:07:21,257 --> 00:07:23,016
- ♪ I want to have the time ♪
214
00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:23,925
♪ I want to take it higher ♪
215
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,671
♪ I want to start a fire ♪
216
00:07:27,764 --> 00:07:31,508
♪ so what's the lighter? ♪
217
00:07:31,601 --> 00:07:32,951
- [italian accent] spinachio.
218
00:07:33,102 --> 00:07:35,028
- [laughs]
219
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,437
[music distorts]
220
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,865
Nothing like
just some family time,
221
00:07:39,017 --> 00:07:40,625
My dog having sex with her very
expensive tempur-pedic bed.
222
00:07:40,777 --> 00:07:43,110
- [normal voice]
dude, she is sprung.
223
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,797
- Oh, someone's done
humping their bed.
224
00:07:45,949 --> 00:07:48,541
- [italian accent] so first,
I'm going to chop the onions.
225
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:49,542
This knife is not too sharp,
so I'm gonna hopefully
226
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,544
Not cut my finger off.
227
00:07:51,697 --> 00:07:54,473
- How was your day?
228
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,533
- [normal voice]
mm, thanks for asking.
229
00:07:56,551 --> 00:07:58,718
I have recently received
a new position at work.
230
00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:00,036
So now I am training my heir.
231
00:08:00,129 --> 00:08:01,813
She's overwhelmed.
- Yeah.
232
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:03,206
- I feel for her
'cause I know the feeling.
233
00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:05,984
It's an overwhelming
job, and then, plugging
234
00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:07,819
Away at my policy stuff.
235
00:08:08,046 --> 00:08:08,728
I very much wear my
heart on the sleeve,
236
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,472
In terms of what drives me.
237
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:12,882
And I don't know as
much about how you feel.
238
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:14,475
You know, what are
your more life goals
239
00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:15,552
And what do you want...
240
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:16,811
- Yeah.
- Out of life?
241
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,813
Not just, like, career,
you know what I mean?
242
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,165
- I want to focus
on me and you,
243
00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:22,742
Honestly, right now
and hopefully having
244
00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:26,671
Babies sometime soon-ish.
245
00:08:26,823 --> 00:08:27,731
- I like how it's
all emulsifying,
246
00:08:27,749 --> 00:08:30,250
Just like this vinaigrette.
247
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,826
- [laughs] yeah.
248
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,679
But I do want
to get to a point where
249
00:08:34,906 --> 00:08:36,923
I'm not working for a company.
- Mm.
250
00:08:37,075 --> 00:08:41,002
- And I have my own
entrepreneurial ventures.
251
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,837
You know I have my california
real estate license.
252
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:46,432
What I really want to do
is, after we have
253
00:08:46,585 --> 00:08:49,769
One to two babies,
I want to flip houses.
254
00:08:49,921 --> 00:08:51,196
♪ ♪
255
00:08:51,347 --> 00:08:55,275
I want to take a beautiful home
that's already existing.
256
00:08:55,427 --> 00:08:59,445
Maybe we even have, like,
a sustainable edge to it,
257
00:08:59,598 --> 00:09:02,932
Where we very efficiently but--
258
00:09:02,951 --> 00:09:05,952
[quirky music]
259
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:07,028
Are you taking this seriously?
260
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,031
- I am. Sorry.
261
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:12,292
Sorry for my flair as the cook.
262
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,110
♪ ♪
263
00:09:14,129 --> 00:09:15,962
So you want to flip homes?
264
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,798
- Yeah, I think to create homes
for someone
265
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,226
Means something to me.
266
00:09:21,453 --> 00:09:23,119
- Well, I think
that's great, babe.
267
00:09:23,138 --> 00:09:28,458
♪ ♪
268
00:09:28,476 --> 00:09:29,959
- Excellent.
269
00:09:30,053 --> 00:09:32,478
- Well, let me ask you this,
and I don't mean to be weird.
270
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,980
♪ ♪
271
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:36,816
Environmentalism kind of
intersects with social justice
272
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:41,154
A lot, and it seems
like rising housing prices
273
00:09:41,306 --> 00:09:42,138
In san diego
and everywhere else
274
00:09:42,231 --> 00:09:44,231
Are really pushing...
- Yeah.
275
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,659
- So many people out,
and it's really only the rich
276
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:50,647
Who can afford houses.
277
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:52,424
Is there a way to somehow--
278
00:09:52,651 --> 00:09:55,242
- Not gentrify
every single neighborhood?
279
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,744
- I don't actually know.
280
00:09:56,838 --> 00:09:58,763
I'm just letting you know this
up front because, obviously,
281
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,506
As a guy who's working
in politics,
282
00:10:00,659 --> 00:10:02,325
I just have a lot of opinions
on everything.
283
00:10:02,418 --> 00:10:03,493
That's all.
- Yeah, okay.
284
00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:04,752
- I've just gotta process it.
285
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,329
- Well, I'm gonna pour
another glass of wine.
286
00:10:06,348 --> 00:10:07,272
[knock on door]
287
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:08,348
Do you mind if I get that?
288
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,591
- Yeah.
289
00:10:10,685 --> 00:10:12,018
- Who do you think it is?
290
00:10:12,170 --> 00:10:13,945
Oh-ho-ho.
291
00:10:14,097 --> 00:10:16,356
I like what I see.
292
00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:20,026
- What do we got?
- We got booze and a card.
293
00:10:20,178 --> 00:10:21,953
- All right.
294
00:10:22,105 --> 00:10:23,029
- This is so cute.
295
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:24,364
- Special delivery.
296
00:10:24,516 --> 00:10:26,107
- Babe.
297
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:29,018
- For our couples who met
at the altar as strangers,
298
00:10:29,112 --> 00:10:32,522
They're still navigating a lot
of first experiences together,
299
00:10:32,615 --> 00:10:34,782
And love might be
slower to grow.
300
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:35,708
- Oh, this makes me
really nervous.
301
00:10:35,861 --> 00:10:37,952
- Yep.
302
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,122
- Love is unlikely to appear
out of thin air.
303
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:44,976
So if you do romantic things,
if you're open and honest
304
00:10:45,128 --> 00:10:47,053
With your spouse,
you have the hope
305
00:10:47,205 --> 00:10:48,980
Of creating those feelings.
306
00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:51,298
- "we encourage you to
have an open and vulnerable
307
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,801
"conversation about what you
think it will take for you
308
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,879
"to fall in love
or continue to grow
309
00:10:55,897 --> 00:10:58,639
In love with your new spouse
in the real world."
310
00:10:58,733 --> 00:10:59,824
- "and later, you'll all be
meeting with a guest expert
311
00:10:59,976 --> 00:11:02,494
"to dive deeper
into your feelings
312
00:11:02,645 --> 00:11:03,828
As you are on your path
towards love."
313
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:06,998
- To help them explore
the potential for love,
314
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:10,651
We've given them some
deeper topics to discuss.
315
00:11:10,745 --> 00:11:16,416
- ♪ you got me, you got me
doing things for you ♪
316
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:19,752
♪ I've been trying to get you
comfortable, no ♪
317
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,755
♪ ♪
318
00:11:22,908 --> 00:11:24,665
- Are you ready for
this love conversation?
319
00:11:24,759 --> 00:11:25,684
- I was born ready.
320
00:11:25,911 --> 00:11:28,520
- We've kind of touched on it,
but...
321
00:11:28,747 --> 00:11:31,505
- A little bit.
- I kind of want to know, like,
322
00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:33,858
Where you are just based on,
like, the spectrum of, like,
323
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:38,254
You like me,
you're falling for me,
324
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:40,423
You're working towards
loving me.
325
00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:42,033
Where are we on the spectrum?
326
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:46,204
- I'm, like, kind of
inching towards the middle.
327
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:48,373
You know, 4 out of 10,
328
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:50,283
5 out of 10, you know,
give or take.
329
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,118
- 4 out of 10?
330
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,194
- Yeah, 40 out of 100.
331
00:11:53,288 --> 00:11:53,786
It's the same thing.
332
00:11:53,939 --> 00:11:55,880
- I know.
333
00:11:56,107 --> 00:11:58,441
That's why I'm like,
damn, you're only at 40?
334
00:11:58,460 --> 00:12:00,443
[tense music]
335
00:12:00,462 --> 00:12:04,781
- So me low-balling
my, like, feelings for you
336
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:06,449
Is more realistic
because there's more
337
00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:09,469
Upside potential.
338
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,897
- So then how do I get,
like, closer to 100%?
339
00:12:13,049 --> 00:12:14,381
What--
- it's just time.
340
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,142
The more that we're around
each other,
341
00:12:16,294 --> 00:12:16,809
The more comfortable
we both are.
342
00:12:16,962 --> 00:12:19,645
- Mm-hmm.
343
00:12:19,798 --> 00:12:22,298
- What about you?
Where am I at on that spectrum?
344
00:12:22,317 --> 00:12:26,745
- I'm, like, almost at love.
345
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:29,655
0 to 10, I'm probably
at, like, an 8.
346
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:30,990
- Wow.
347
00:12:31,142 --> 00:12:32,584
Dang, I feel like
an [bleep] now.
348
00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:33,400
[laughs]
349
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,420
- I mean, I'm at 40%.
350
00:12:35,571 --> 00:12:37,981
Don't inch over here
any closer.
351
00:12:38,074 --> 00:12:39,832
- Why not?
- Be over there.
352
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,986
♪ ♪
353
00:12:43,004 --> 00:12:45,263
- Does that hurt your feelings
that I said that?
354
00:12:45,414 --> 00:12:46,914
- I want you to be honest,
like, where you are.
355
00:12:47,008 --> 00:12:49,492
I don't want you to, like, say
something because I say it...
356
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:50,660
- Right.
- Or anything like that.
357
00:12:50,753 --> 00:12:51,936
- Well, here's the thing.
I don't want to be
358
00:12:52,163 --> 00:12:55,106
Overly excited and be like,
I'm in love with you.
359
00:12:55,258 --> 00:12:57,758
- I'm kind of, like, going
back to what pastor cal said.
360
00:12:57,852 --> 00:12:59,519
- Right.
- You know, love
361
00:12:59,671 --> 00:13:02,171
Is more of a commitment
and not a feeling.
362
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:03,948
- I can't be a robot and be
like, oh, yeah,
363
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,024
You're a 10 out of 10.
364
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,193
- I don't expect,
like, you to just be
365
00:13:07,345 --> 00:13:08,694
At 10 out of 10, but I don't--
366
00:13:08,847 --> 00:13:11,697
I just didn't think that we
were at 40--you were at 40.
367
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:17,128
- Yeah.
368
00:13:17,355 --> 00:13:19,539
It has to continue
to evolve and have
369
00:13:19,691 --> 00:13:21,374
To be comfortable with that.
370
00:13:21,526 --> 00:13:23,876
So the more that I'm
comfortable around you,
371
00:13:24,029 --> 00:13:26,863
Then I'll be able to see
the bigger picture.
372
00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:28,881
- When was the last time
you were in love, though?
373
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:33,886
Like, do you know what
that feeling is like for you?
374
00:13:34,039 --> 00:13:35,629
- I'm just gonna let you know
that, like,
375
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,558
It's been a long time,
like high school.
376
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:42,320
So I haven't had the feelings
of being in love
377
00:13:42,471 --> 00:13:44,380
As, like, a grown-up.
378
00:13:44,399 --> 00:13:46,640
- So you were in these
relationships for, let's say,
379
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,328
Two years and never loved
that person?
380
00:13:50,479 --> 00:13:51,888
- I don't want to risk
my marriage.
381
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:53,573
I want to be married one time.
382
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,834
And so I'm gonna be
a little bit slower to actually
383
00:13:56,061 --> 00:13:58,895
Opening up my heart
to my wife.
384
00:13:58,913 --> 00:14:01,339
It sounds counterproductive,
but I want to--
385
00:14:01,566 --> 00:14:03,675
I want to go all in
with this commitment
386
00:14:03,826 --> 00:14:07,661
And really understand her
100% before I just get really
387
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,755
Excited about falling
in love with her
388
00:14:09,908 --> 00:14:12,925
And then it gets--you know,
it gets unstable.
389
00:14:13,078 --> 00:14:16,262
So I'm definitely gonna take
my time and go with my gut.
390
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:19,765
- So what would keep you
from falling in love with me?
391
00:14:19,918 --> 00:14:22,435
- Not a whole lot, honestly.
392
00:14:22,587 --> 00:14:23,436
I've said this multiple times.
393
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,605
I want my best friend
next to me.
394
00:14:25,757 --> 00:14:27,590
- Mm-hmm.
395
00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:28,533
- Just, like, little things.
396
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:29,942
Like, what's my favorite
candy bar?
397
00:14:30,095 --> 00:14:32,111
- Okay.
398
00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:33,687
- Like, if we're
gonna be married
399
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:37,450
For 20-plus years,
forever, for life,
400
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,544
We're, like, week three.
401
00:14:39,771 --> 00:14:42,029
I haven't even taken you
on many dates yet.
402
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,289
- Right.
403
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,791
- We haven't even got,
like, drunk together yet.
404
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,051
We haven't done a lot
of things together.
405
00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:48,202
- [laughs]
- so...
406
00:14:48,296 --> 00:14:49,612
- So you need
to experience all that?
407
00:14:49,631 --> 00:14:51,797
- Yeah.
408
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,540
- Like, I'm not trying to put
you on, like, a timeline
409
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,617
Or anything like that.
410
00:14:54,636 --> 00:14:56,043
I'm not like, okay,
I want to know
411
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,212
That you love me before
decision day, or I'm like--
412
00:14:58,306 --> 00:14:59,639
- Right.
- I'm saying no.
413
00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:03,384
Like, it's not like that,
but it's kind of like that--
414
00:15:03,478 --> 00:15:05,628
But not really like that.
415
00:15:05,647 --> 00:15:08,631
[dramatic music]
416
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:11,701
♪ ♪
417
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:19,400
- ♪ one shot, give me a shot
'cause I want you ♪
418
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,568
- So let's talk about love.
419
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,087
Do you really think
that you have
420
00:15:23,239 --> 00:15:24,981
Never been in love before?
421
00:15:24,999 --> 00:15:27,741
- I have definitely loved,
but I don't know
422
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:28,927
If I've been in love.
423
00:15:29,078 --> 00:15:30,987
And I don't even know
where that fine line is.
424
00:15:31,005 --> 00:15:32,004
- Yeah.
425
00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:33,414
- So I'm just
a confused young boy.
426
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,265
You have, right?
- Oh, absolutely.
427
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:35,658
- Yeah.
428
00:15:35,751 --> 00:15:37,160
- I think,
to be honest with you,
429
00:15:37,178 --> 00:15:39,011
I probably fall in love
a little more easily than you,
430
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,347
It sounds like.
431
00:15:41,499 --> 00:15:43,274
And my last stint--
432
00:15:43,426 --> 00:15:45,668
My last couple
of stints at love
433
00:15:45,687 --> 00:15:49,447
Ended not badly,
but catastrophically.
434
00:15:49,674 --> 00:15:52,283
- I can only imagine that
that feels devastating.
435
00:15:52,510 --> 00:15:53,359
- Yeah.
436
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,601
- And even though that--
437
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,287
I mean, I'm actually
scared of that too.
438
00:15:56,514 --> 00:15:57,847
Even though that
hasn't happened to me,
439
00:15:57,940 --> 00:15:58,197
That's what happened
to my parents.
440
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,106
- Yeah.
441
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,442
- You know, they divorced,
442
00:16:01,536 --> 00:16:02,794
And it wasn't on good terms.
443
00:16:03,021 --> 00:16:06,706
And it's been an extremely
significant thing
444
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,115
In my life, you know?
445
00:16:08,209 --> 00:16:11,694
So I think I didn't even
really think about marriage
446
00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:16,457
Or long-term commitment
for so long.
447
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,310
And then I've kind of recently
come around why it's good,
448
00:16:19,537 --> 00:16:20,311
You know?
449
00:16:20,538 --> 00:16:22,538
So...
450
00:16:22,631 --> 00:16:24,983
- Do you think,
from our short marriage,
451
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:30,229
That a life married
is better than a life single?
452
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,490
- Yeah, I do.
453
00:16:32,717 --> 00:16:35,384
- Me too.
454
00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:37,720
- I just want to be in love,
and I want
455
00:16:37,813 --> 00:16:40,740
To get that love in return
and maybe, you know,
456
00:16:40,892 --> 00:16:42,558
Have a great family,
you know, because that's not
457
00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:45,394
Something I had growing up.
458
00:16:45,413 --> 00:16:47,230
And I think we both have
the kind of character...
459
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:48,489
- Yeah.
460
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:52,993
- Behind what we want
to want to do it right,
461
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,253
You know what I mean?
462
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,907
Like, I can definitely see
a lot of compatibility--
463
00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,333
I can definitely see us,
like, making it,
464
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,409
You know what I mean?
- Yeah.
465
00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:01,911
- Like, I can
definitely see that.
466
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:06,599
- Honestly, when I think about
my ideal vision of marriage,
467
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:09,861
It's crazy to say,
but honestly,
468
00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,771
I don't think that we're
very far away from it.
469
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:12,846
- That's nice to hear.
470
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,198
- I'm really happy
every single day.
471
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:16,200
Sometimes you drive me
a little crazy.
472
00:17:16,427 --> 00:17:18,944
Like, you know,
a little bit earlier tonight
473
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,597
When I was, like,
being vulnerable and kind of,
474
00:17:21,616 --> 00:17:23,374
Like, pouring out my heart
about my dreams,
475
00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:28,046
You know, you were being
a little goofy and playful.
476
00:17:28,197 --> 00:17:32,792
When I am, like, unveiling
my soul, I want you to listen.
477
00:17:32,944 --> 00:17:35,628
- You know, you're right,
so, you know, sorry about that.
478
00:17:35,780 --> 00:17:36,870
And you know,
I should have just
479
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,281
Been a little more attentive.
480
00:17:38,299 --> 00:17:39,782
You were definitely talking
about your life goals
481
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,708
And plans.
482
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:44,287
But like, I do feel like maybe
483
00:17:44,305 --> 00:17:45,712
It's just because
of my--the work I do
484
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:48,124
And I have a lot of compassion
for people who have less
485
00:17:48,142 --> 00:17:51,569
Than me, like,
can I really be, like,
486
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,462
A force for good
in the world but still,
487
00:17:53,556 --> 00:17:54,721
Like, live in a big
frickin' house
488
00:17:54,816 --> 00:17:56,315
With a nice car and [bleep]?
489
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,634
Like, is that hypocritical in--
it its core, you know I mean?
490
00:17:58,727 --> 00:17:59,985
So that's like--
- no, it's not.
491
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,747
I'm just saying, I don't want
to live a life of guilt.
492
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,473
I want to live a life...
- Yeah.
493
00:18:04,492 --> 00:18:06,084
- That I worked hard for.
494
00:18:06,311 --> 00:18:07,901
- But also, just everything
in moderation,
495
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:08,661
You know what I mean?
496
00:18:08,813 --> 00:18:11,422
Like...
- It should be--
497
00:18:11,649 --> 00:18:12,998
- Just because I can afford
a private jet
498
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:14,150
Doesn't mean I should buy one.
499
00:18:14,168 --> 00:18:15,651
I can just fly first-class.
500
00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:18,821
[both laughing]
501
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:24,251
♪ ♪
502
00:18:24,345 --> 00:18:26,512
- ♪ yeah, crashing parties ♪
503
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:29,774
♪ like we throw them,
throw them ♪
504
00:18:30,001 --> 00:18:33,444
♪ they don't know it,
so we show them, show them ♪
505
00:18:33,671 --> 00:18:35,279
♪ ♪
506
00:18:35,431 --> 00:18:36,355
- [coughs]
507
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,931
- You all right there?
508
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:40,618
- I'm trying to laugh and--
509
00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:41,786
Be careful.
510
00:18:41,937 --> 00:18:44,956
You know how that be detaching
sometimes.
511
00:18:45,183 --> 00:18:48,701
So, baby, have you ever
been in love before?
512
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,110
- You know what?
513
00:18:50,204 --> 00:18:54,874
I thought I was in love once,
but I really wasn't.
514
00:18:55,026 --> 00:18:57,026
- What made you think you were
in love, and you were like,
515
00:18:57,044 --> 00:18:59,137
Oh, wait, maybe I wasn't?
516
00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:01,530
- Because I was willing
to do anything for her.
517
00:19:01,624 --> 00:19:03,457
She was, like, my
very first girlfriend,
518
00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:05,125
Who I lost my virginity to.
519
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,978
I was 20.
- Ooh.
520
00:19:07,129 --> 00:19:09,889
Okay, late bloomer, but go on.
- Yeah, I was definitely--
521
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:11,465
I was trying to wait
till marriage, girl.
522
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,541
I was definitely trying
to wait,
523
00:19:12,635 --> 00:19:14,652
But I thought I was in love.
- Mm-hmm.
524
00:19:14,879 --> 00:19:20,383
- But it was all about
just benefits, you know?
525
00:19:20,401 --> 00:19:22,994
And she dogged me and--and--
526
00:19:23,145 --> 00:19:24,236
- Why she dog you?
527
00:19:24,389 --> 00:19:26,313
- Because I allowed her to.
I was a yes-man.
528
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,239
- Oh.
- I did everything.
529
00:19:27,392 --> 00:19:28,166
Like, whatever
she wanted to do,
530
00:19:28,317 --> 00:19:29,408
I did, you know
what I'm saying?
531
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,576
Even if I ain't like it.
532
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,244
- So was this, like,
a theme in your life
533
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,320
To where, like, you
yearned to please people
534
00:19:33,414 --> 00:19:35,414
So that they would love you?
535
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,009
- Yes, because I thought
that was the right way.
536
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,735
I thought if I pleased them,
that they would love me.
537
00:19:39,828 --> 00:19:40,827
- Then they would love me.
- You know?
538
00:19:40,922 --> 00:19:42,013
Yes, that's why--
539
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,088
- Oh, baby.
540
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,331
- [laughs] yeah.
541
00:19:44,425 --> 00:19:45,424
It's all right.
542
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,019
- So I don't--
543
00:19:48,246 --> 00:19:49,929
I should ask this question
because obviously,
544
00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,355
It doesn't--ah, my knee.
545
00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:52,932
Oh, glory be to god.
546
00:19:53,084 --> 00:19:53,933
Ow.
547
00:19:54,085 --> 00:19:56,009
Ooh.
- You want that heating pad?
548
00:19:56,103 --> 00:19:58,270
- Oh. No, I'm good.
- Okay.
549
00:19:58,423 --> 00:20:02,683
- So this is my question,
and if this is too personal...
550
00:20:02,777 --> 00:20:03,426
- It's all right, I'm sure.
- You don't have to answer it,
551
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:06,429
But growing up, like,
552
00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:09,523
Receiving love
from family members,
553
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,525
Was it one-sided for you,
or like...
554
00:20:11,619 --> 00:20:12,952
- Yes.
- Did you never--okay.
555
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:14,212
- My dad's side, he was
always in and out of my life,
556
00:20:14,439 --> 00:20:15,379
You know?
557
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:17,381
I was like, well,
what did I do?
558
00:20:17,608 --> 00:20:20,109
Well, let me--let me
try to be better at this.
559
00:20:20,202 --> 00:20:22,869
Let me try and be
better at that.
560
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,538
And so over time, I
felt like I was trying
561
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,450
To please him to get his love.
562
00:20:27,468 --> 00:20:30,302
And so yeah, it was
always one-sided.
563
00:20:30,455 --> 00:20:32,621
- How do you feel
about the concept
564
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,564
Of falling out of love?
565
00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:36,049
Do you think it's a thing?
566
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:38,552
- I think--I think it's
possible to fall out of love.
567
00:20:38,646 --> 00:20:39,645
- I mean, it's just so hard.
568
00:20:39,797 --> 00:20:41,480
If you--if I love
somebody that much,
569
00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:45,818
And I say that I love them,
that [bleep]
570
00:20:45,970 --> 00:20:46,969
Just don't go away.
571
00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:49,062
- Can you tell me
how much you love me?
572
00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:50,248
- Right in this moment?
573
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:52,083
- Uh-huh.
- No.
574
00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:54,493
♪ ♪
575
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:55,920
I'm uncomfortable.
576
00:20:56,071 --> 00:20:58,405
I'm sorry.
577
00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:04,670
Just the consistency for me,
that trust, because I don't--
578
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:09,341
I felt really alone
that time in the candy store.
579
00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:11,936
For me to be just fed up over
somebody, who at one point,
580
00:21:12,163 --> 00:21:16,256
It was rainbows and sunshine,
it's draining.
581
00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:18,017
- And if that's the case,
then I just
582
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,944
Won't say anything at all.
- That's how marriages work.
583
00:21:20,171 --> 00:21:21,186
We just don't communicate--
- because--because--
584
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,171
- And we're just in the house.
585
00:21:22,189 --> 00:21:23,522
- Because you're just perfect.
586
00:21:23,674 --> 00:21:24,857
♪ ♪
587
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,284
- All right, because you're
doing the absolute most.
588
00:21:26,511 --> 00:21:30,195
- Okay.
589
00:21:30,348 --> 00:21:31,514
- Just I want that
security back.
590
00:21:31,532 --> 00:21:34,125
I want to feel like I
felt on the honeymoon
591
00:21:34,352 --> 00:21:36,460
Where it was just, like,
no matter what I say,
592
00:21:36,612 --> 00:21:38,963
I know this man
right behind me.
593
00:21:39,114 --> 00:21:41,299
- I know--
594
00:21:41,526 --> 00:21:45,619
I'm aware that I have to gain
that security back because
595
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:51,050
Of that moment, and I deserve
to be working towards that,
596
00:21:51,202 --> 00:21:54,036
You know, because that happened
for a reason, you know?
597
00:21:54,055 --> 00:21:56,129
And--and maybe
it's gonna strengthen
598
00:21:56,223 --> 00:21:57,315
Our relationship even more.
599
00:21:57,542 --> 00:21:59,708
- Mm.
600
00:21:59,727 --> 00:22:01,377
I feel that. I feel that.
601
00:22:01,395 --> 00:22:06,973
♪ ♪
602
00:22:07,068 --> 00:22:10,310
- Pastor cal was talking about,
like, having measurable goals
603
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:11,812
For our relationship.
604
00:22:11,906 --> 00:22:13,238
- Right.
- I feel like--
605
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,741
Like I was trying to tell you
that, like, downstairs,
606
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:16,817
And you were just like--
607
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,502
- Measuring.
- I don't want this.
608
00:22:18,654 --> 00:22:22,398
I don't--yeah, I just
want to be in the moment.
609
00:22:22,416 --> 00:22:24,567
- Yeah.
I mean, during the--
610
00:22:24,585 --> 00:22:26,827
- They're not always gonna be,
like, financial goals.
611
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,512
- I see. I see. I mean--
612
00:22:28,739 --> 00:22:31,757
- They're gonna be
like where you are with me
613
00:22:31,909 --> 00:22:37,003
On this whole love thing.
614
00:22:37,098 --> 00:22:38,247
- Well, what are you asking me?
615
00:22:38,265 --> 00:22:39,748
Where do I stand?
616
00:22:39,767 --> 00:22:40,933
- Well, I'm just saying
that, like,
617
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:43,936
That is gonna have to be
a goal of the marriage...
618
00:22:44,088 --> 00:22:45,921
- To measure?
- Is obtain--yeah.
619
00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:47,180
- To have a goal?
620
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,775
- Everything has
to be measurable.
621
00:22:49,927 --> 00:22:52,036
- Like, love as well
has to be measured?
622
00:22:52,263 --> 00:22:53,854
- Well, I want to make sure
that, you know,
623
00:22:53,948 --> 00:22:55,781
We are moving forward...
- Right.
624
00:22:55,875 --> 00:23:00,603
- And those feelings
are also moving forward.
625
00:23:00,621 --> 00:23:04,382
- Just know that we're good,
626
00:23:04,533 --> 00:23:07,443
And I want
to get to know you fully.
627
00:23:07,461 --> 00:23:09,445
I want to, like,
understand your soul.
628
00:23:09,538 --> 00:23:10,946
I want to know
what your vision is.
629
00:23:10,965 --> 00:23:11,872
I want to know, you know,
630
00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,891
What family means to you,
right?
631
00:23:14,118 --> 00:23:14,892
To us.
632
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:16,285
- Mm-hmm.
633
00:23:16,378 --> 00:23:17,895
- Like, that's very important.
634
00:23:18,122 --> 00:23:20,456
- So then going back
to what pastor cal says,
635
00:23:20,549 --> 00:23:22,066
It's just a commitment,
you making the choice.
636
00:23:22,293 --> 00:23:23,125
- Yeah.
637
00:23:23,218 --> 00:23:24,902
- Are you making
the choice or--
638
00:23:25,129 --> 00:23:26,629
- Of course.
639
00:23:26,722 --> 00:23:29,298
- What are you making
the choice to do?
640
00:23:29,391 --> 00:23:31,075
- I'm making the choice
to be married to you.
641
00:23:31,226 --> 00:23:34,394
- Oh, but not committed
or loved or all that?
642
00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:35,413
I don't know.
643
00:23:35,564 --> 00:23:37,248
- Of course I am.
- Great.
644
00:23:37,475 --> 00:23:38,565
- I wouldn't be talking
about kids with you
645
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:42,736
If I wasn't committed
to our relationship.
646
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,422
Love is not just
one single thing.
647
00:23:44,573 --> 00:23:46,315
It's multifaceted.
648
00:23:46,408 --> 00:23:47,741
Moving in, me talking
about joining accounts,
649
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:51,762
Me actually talking about kids
is a serious gesture.
650
00:23:51,989 --> 00:23:53,413
- But I can have
somebody live with me,
651
00:23:53,433 --> 00:23:55,007
And I can have somebody, like,
652
00:23:55,101 --> 00:23:57,676
Want to have a joint
bank account with me,
653
00:23:57,828 --> 00:24:00,604
And they don't love me.
654
00:24:00,831 --> 00:24:04,108
♪ ♪
655
00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:05,668
- Okay.
656
00:24:05,761 --> 00:24:07,928
I don't really know what to say
anymore because I feel
657
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:08,779
Like you're just playing
the devil's advocate
658
00:24:08,931 --> 00:24:11,857
With the love thing.
- Mm-hmm.
659
00:24:12,009 --> 00:24:16,862
- So I feel like we're just
going around in circles now.
660
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,939
You see what I'm saying?
661
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,106
- Yes and no.
662
00:24:20,126 --> 00:24:24,703
- Okay, so this rice
is probably burning,
663
00:24:24,855 --> 00:24:26,538
Which it is.
664
00:24:26,632 --> 00:24:28,966
- Is this our first argument?
665
00:24:29,117 --> 00:24:30,134
- I wouldn't say
it's an argument.
666
00:24:30,285 --> 00:24:31,952
- You feel like I'm
trying to attack you
667
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,137
Or anything like that?
668
00:24:33,288 --> 00:24:34,454
- I don't think you
were trying to attack me.
669
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:37,808
I think you were trying
to get my intentions
670
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,311
The wrong way, which
is a form of manipulation,
671
00:24:40,462 --> 00:24:42,705
In my opinion.
672
00:24:42,723 --> 00:24:46,208
That's just my opinion, though.
673
00:24:46,301 --> 00:24:48,544
- That doesn't feel good,
that you think
674
00:24:48,637 --> 00:24:50,713
That I was trying
to manipulate you.
675
00:24:50,731 --> 00:24:52,881
[dramatic music]
676
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:53,899
- Yeah.
677
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:56,552
- Do you feel different
about me now?
678
00:24:56,570 --> 00:24:59,555
- Um...
679
00:24:59,573 --> 00:25:01,999
- I feel like
I want him to love me
680
00:25:02,226 --> 00:25:03,667
And just I want him to say it
because I want to hear it,
681
00:25:03,894 --> 00:25:07,563
But I really want him
to really feel it.
682
00:25:07,581 --> 00:25:09,748
So if he doesn't
know that he loves me
683
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:10,916
Or not by decision day, yeah,
684
00:25:11,068 --> 00:25:12,084
That's gonna be something
685
00:25:12,236 --> 00:25:15,012
That I'm gonna consider
in my decision.
686
00:25:15,239 --> 00:25:18,307
♪ ♪
687
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:23,354
- ♪ so real ♪
688
00:25:23,505 --> 00:25:26,765
♪ now, this is how
the party should feel ♪
689
00:25:26,917 --> 00:25:28,675
♪ come across the floor ♪
690
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:30,919
♪ move over here ♪
691
00:25:31,013 --> 00:25:33,697
♪ we gonna have a good time ♪
692
00:25:33,849 --> 00:25:35,032
- Sorry I'm late, brother.
693
00:25:35,259 --> 00:25:36,108
- Hey.
694
00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:37,183
- Yeah, let's cheers
real quick.
695
00:25:37,203 --> 00:25:38,202
- Cheers, man.
696
00:25:38,353 --> 00:25:39,595
- Got to just get it in.
697
00:25:39,688 --> 00:25:41,205
- Welcome to sunny san diego.
698
00:25:41,432 --> 00:25:43,874
Every day is an
adventure right now.
699
00:25:44,026 --> 00:25:44,933
- Wow, that's a good hazy.
700
00:25:44,952 --> 00:25:45,209
- You guys got
a good spot here.
701
00:25:45,436 --> 00:25:47,452
- We do.
702
00:25:47,605 --> 00:25:49,213
We do.
703
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,106
You just jumped in
that chair like you're
704
00:25:51,125 --> 00:25:54,960
Like a four-year-old
trying to get into a seat.
705
00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,278
I'm surprised you didn't, like,
crawl up on your arm
706
00:25:56,371 --> 00:25:58,614
Or elbows first.
- Right. Eh.
707
00:25:58,632 --> 00:26:01,207
- Can I--can I share
an honest moment...
708
00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:02,042
- Let's go.
- With you real quick?
709
00:26:02,136 --> 00:26:03,786
- Why else would you be here?
710
00:26:03,879 --> 00:26:05,954
- So when we were
at the housewarming...
711
00:26:05,973 --> 00:26:07,047
- Yeah.
- And cy and I
712
00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:09,474
Were talking to lindy,
713
00:26:09,627 --> 00:26:12,628
She--she got pretty emotional.
714
00:26:12,721 --> 00:26:14,738
- I don't have health care,
715
00:26:14,890 --> 00:26:17,575
And I've asked
to be on his health care.
716
00:26:17,726 --> 00:26:19,893
And it was very much so, "well,
are you taking my last name?"
717
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,227
- It definitely
turned us off...
718
00:26:21,247 --> 00:26:22,821
- I know.
- To, like, what was,
719
00:26:22,973 --> 00:26:23,989
You know...
- Yeah.
720
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:25,824
- Like, we're--
we're getting to know her.
721
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:27,976
We don't want this
to color our opinion of her.
722
00:26:27,995 --> 00:26:29,253
- Right.
- Because the rest
723
00:26:29,404 --> 00:26:31,071
Of the party was awesome.
- I know.
724
00:26:31,090 --> 00:26:32,423
- And that one part
just kind of like, oh,
725
00:26:32,574 --> 00:26:33,424
A little wet blanket.
726
00:26:33,575 --> 00:26:34,499
- A little bit.
- Killed the fun.
727
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:36,652
- No, and I'm so glad
you said that,
728
00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:38,578
'cause I felt the same way,
like I said.
729
00:26:38,598 --> 00:26:41,156
And to be honest, like,
it turned me off
730
00:26:41,175 --> 00:26:42,916
To the point that I started
questioning, like,
731
00:26:43,010 --> 00:26:44,250
Who did I actually marry?
732
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,845
Who is lindy?
733
00:26:46,997 --> 00:26:51,683
- Is she past the point
of being, you know,
734
00:26:51,777 --> 00:26:53,777
Jekyll and hyde?
735
00:26:54,004 --> 00:26:55,279
- I don't--I can't
answer that question.
736
00:26:55,506 --> 00:26:58,841
I want to say I hope
so, and I think so.
737
00:26:58,859 --> 00:27:01,267
- It's--there's--there's
a bit of a skeptic in me,
738
00:27:01,362 --> 00:27:03,011
Naturally...
- Good.
739
00:27:03,105 --> 00:27:04,346
- Just about saying...
- Good.
740
00:27:04,439 --> 00:27:06,773
- Things are going great.
- Right.
741
00:27:06,867 --> 00:27:09,460
- So part of me says, when's
that other shoe gonna drop?
742
00:27:09,687 --> 00:27:13,279
And I thought that
that's what the house--
743
00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:14,523
The housewarming party
conversation was...
744
00:27:14,541 --> 00:27:15,540
- Well, it kind of was.
745
00:27:15,635 --> 00:27:17,784
- I was like,
whoa, this is a big deal,
746
00:27:17,803 --> 00:27:20,045
Or is this something
that you guys can
747
00:27:20,197 --> 00:27:21,621
Talk through and get past...
748
00:27:21,715 --> 00:27:23,140
- Right.
- And grow from?
749
00:27:23,367 --> 00:27:27,052
- It was both of those things,
and I confronted her as such.
750
00:27:27,204 --> 00:27:28,812
And she reassured me
that, like--
751
00:27:29,039 --> 00:27:29,963
She was like,
"no, that was a slip-up.
752
00:27:29,982 --> 00:27:32,632
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry."
753
00:27:32,652 --> 00:27:36,820
- Do you turn off your
red-flag detector right now?
754
00:27:36,972 --> 00:27:38,322
Like, everything is great.
755
00:27:38,549 --> 00:27:39,715
I mean,
the way you talk about it...
756
00:27:39,808 --> 00:27:40,824
- Yeah.
- It is [bleep] roses.
757
00:27:40,976 --> 00:27:42,660
- Right.
- Like, this is fantastic.
758
00:27:42,811 --> 00:27:43,810
- I don't think I am.
759
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,979
- And do you--no
one seeks them, but--
760
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:47,498
- Right.
- If something comes up, do--
761
00:27:47,725 --> 00:27:49,983
Does it trigger things for you?
Like...
762
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,484
- At this point--
- can you see them?
763
00:27:51,504 --> 00:27:52,836
- That's a good question.
- Because if you're reliant...
764
00:27:53,063 --> 00:27:54,171
- That's a good question.
- On your friends,
765
00:27:54,322 --> 00:27:57,249
Who we only get to see you
a little bit a week.
766
00:27:57,343 --> 00:27:58,491
- Yeah. Yeah.
767
00:27:58,511 --> 00:27:59,568
- Like, an hour a week,
basically, right?
768
00:27:59,661 --> 00:28:02,846
- Right, right.
- Then that--
769
00:28:03,073 --> 00:28:05,090
You could be setting
yourself up for some--
770
00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:07,167
Some surprises.
771
00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:09,353
- I want to say no,
that I'm not turning off
772
00:28:09,504 --> 00:28:11,747
My red-flag detector.
773
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:13,415
But to your point,
who am I to say?
774
00:28:13,434 --> 00:28:16,084
Maybe I am.
775
00:28:16,103 --> 00:28:17,102
- Okay.
776
00:28:17,254 --> 00:28:20,422
♪ ♪
777
00:28:20,441 --> 00:28:23,850
- ♪ even though I try
to run from your love ♪
778
00:28:23,869 --> 00:28:26,704
♪ your circles got me
running right back to you ♪
779
00:28:26,855 --> 00:28:29,206
- Over here, baby.
780
00:28:29,433 --> 00:28:32,192
Whoo! Okay.
781
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:35,713
Back to my groove.
782
00:28:35,864 --> 00:28:38,290
- One of the first things I
actually learned about krysten
783
00:28:38,442 --> 00:28:40,442
Is she loves karaoke
and that she
784
00:28:40,535 --> 00:28:42,202
Just takes over at karaoke.
785
00:28:42,296 --> 00:28:44,629
So I want to see it.
786
00:28:44,782 --> 00:28:45,964
I want to experience it.
787
00:28:46,116 --> 00:28:49,059
And that's what we're doing.
788
00:28:49,211 --> 00:28:51,620
- Okay, so I'm not
even kidding you.
789
00:28:51,638 --> 00:28:54,231
I really did sing this song
in a school play.
790
00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:56,308
- Oh.
- I won't give away my age,
791
00:28:56,460 --> 00:28:58,736
But it was in the '90s.
792
00:28:58,887 --> 00:29:02,239
[upbeat rock music]
793
00:29:02,466 --> 00:29:04,057
- Krysten definitely
lives up to the hype
794
00:29:04,151 --> 00:29:06,318
Of a karaoke superstar.
795
00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:08,245
She knows all these songs
a lot better than I do.
796
00:29:08,472 --> 00:29:10,247
And she's coming out strong,
for sure.
797
00:29:10,398 --> 00:29:11,823
I'm really impressed.
798
00:29:11,976 --> 00:29:14,476
- ♪ I've known
some other girls ♪
799
00:29:14,495 --> 00:29:18,480
♪ but they didn't make me
feel this way ♪
800
00:29:18,573 --> 00:29:19,739
- I just think
it's attractive,
801
00:29:19,833 --> 00:29:21,241
Seeing people get loose.
802
00:29:21,335 --> 00:29:24,261
You know, I like seeing an
unguarded person having fun,
803
00:29:24,412 --> 00:29:25,262
Doing something they love.
804
00:29:25,413 --> 00:29:27,931
- ♪ all I ever wanted ♪
805
00:29:28,158 --> 00:29:32,269
♪ was someone
to hold my hand ♪
806
00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:36,106
- It's fun,
and it's also funny.
807
00:29:36,258 --> 00:29:38,609
♪ real life,
san diego, california ♪
808
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,837
♪ popping bottles of champagne
at the beach in the morning ♪
809
00:29:41,855 --> 00:29:43,188
♪ me and pastor cal ♪
810
00:29:43,340 --> 00:29:44,764
♪ yeah, he's my pal ♪
811
00:29:44,858 --> 00:29:46,341
♪ yeah, I got a gal ♪
812
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:47,843
♪ yeah, she's my wifey ♪
813
00:29:47,861 --> 00:29:49,694
- I found out that my husband
likes to freestyle rap
814
00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:53,849
And is actually really,
really good and on beat.
815
00:29:53,867 --> 00:29:55,684
- ♪ move by example, man ♪
816
00:29:55,777 --> 00:29:56,701
♪ do not follow the crowd ♪
817
00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:58,962
♪ and these fricking
politicians ♪
818
00:29:59,189 --> 00:30:00,297
♪ I'm gonna vote
they asses out, listen ♪
819
00:30:00,524 --> 00:30:01,857
- We're having
such a good time.
820
00:30:01,875 --> 00:30:04,209
You would think we've
been married for 10 years.
821
00:30:04,361 --> 00:30:05,618
- ♪ had sex with my wifey ♪
822
00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:07,362
♪ yo, I hit her
from that [bleep] ♪
823
00:30:07,381 --> 00:30:08,288
- Oh, god.
824
00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:10,456
So it's just pretty cool
that he's
825
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,050
Willing to put himself
out there and get
826
00:30:12,202 --> 00:30:16,038
Immersed in karaoke with me.
827
00:30:16,056 --> 00:30:20,466
Wow, you're so, like, fun.
828
00:30:20,561 --> 00:30:22,468
I knew you would be, but, like,
you're almost as fun as me,
829
00:30:22,563 --> 00:30:23,545
If not equally fun.
830
00:30:23,638 --> 00:30:24,563
- I'm trying to keep up,
you know?
831
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:28,808
- You're doing great.
832
00:30:28,902 --> 00:30:34,389
I can tell you are putting
in 100% effort in this date.
833
00:30:34,408 --> 00:30:36,408
And that means a lot to me.
834
00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:38,910
♪ ♪
835
00:30:39,004 --> 00:30:42,840
- Okay, so I think last night,
you may have seen me
836
00:30:42,991 --> 00:30:47,252
Kind of, like, react a little
bit half-heartedly to, like,
837
00:30:47,346 --> 00:30:48,570
Their whole real estate
ventures and like...
838
00:30:48,589 --> 00:30:49,754
- Mm-hmm.
839
00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:52,257
- I just want to come out
with it so you know.
840
00:30:52,351 --> 00:30:53,925
- Uh-huh.
841
00:30:54,078 --> 00:30:57,521
- But when you said,
like, flipping houses,
842
00:30:57,672 --> 00:31:00,932
It did kind of, like,
trigger certain things in me
843
00:31:01,085 --> 00:31:02,601
Because, like,
there's a lot of families--
844
00:31:02,695 --> 00:31:04,361
There's a lot of
just everyday people out there
845
00:31:04,512 --> 00:31:05,770
Who want to buy a house
that they can afford.
846
00:31:05,923 --> 00:31:10,534
And then there's these
developers, you know,
847
00:31:10,761 --> 00:31:12,761
Who go in and buy the house
with a higher offer,
848
00:31:12,779 --> 00:31:17,933
Price out families,
and then flip it.
849
00:31:18,026 --> 00:31:20,118
It just seems
a little predatory to me.
850
00:31:20,212 --> 00:31:22,880
[quirky music]
851
00:31:23,107 --> 00:31:25,215
I get it, that it's,
like, a career path,
852
00:31:25,367 --> 00:31:26,291
You know what I mean?
853
00:31:26,443 --> 00:31:28,534
Like, it's not like
it's illegal.
854
00:31:28,629 --> 00:31:30,536
I don't think society--
855
00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:32,205
- I'm sorry, I blush
at the word "illegal."
856
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:35,617
- I don't think society,
like, teaches us that that's
857
00:31:35,636 --> 00:31:39,379
Unethical or immoral.
- I hope not.
858
00:31:39,473 --> 00:31:41,623
- But it didn't like--it
doesn't sit perfectly with me,
859
00:31:41,642 --> 00:31:44,643
Just, like, the idea
of just, like, flipping houses.
860
00:31:44,795 --> 00:31:49,573
- Number one, I'm not trying
to be this huge corporation.
861
00:31:49,724 --> 00:31:52,467
I am literally trying
to be compensated
862
00:31:52,486 --> 00:31:54,319
For the fruits of my labor.
863
00:31:54,471 --> 00:31:57,581
I'm trying to purchase a home
with my money
864
00:31:57,808 --> 00:31:59,732
That I've worked hard for
and make it
865
00:31:59,752 --> 00:32:02,085
A good place
for a family to live in
866
00:32:02,237 --> 00:32:04,237
Is all I'm trying to do.
867
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,331
And I have been very open
to learning more
868
00:32:06,483 --> 00:32:10,243
About environmentalism
and coastal policy
869
00:32:10,337 --> 00:32:11,261
And sustainability.
870
00:32:11,488 --> 00:32:13,338
And I love that about you,
and I hope
871
00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:17,826
To get that same respect
in return with my dreams.
872
00:32:17,844 --> 00:32:18,936
♪ ♪
873
00:32:19,163 --> 00:32:21,271
- I'm just trying to speak up
to the fact
874
00:32:21,423 --> 00:32:25,091
That things aren't fair
and just acknowledge that.
875
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:26,926
- The world is full
of injustice.
876
00:32:26,946 --> 00:32:28,111
It is.
877
00:32:28,338 --> 00:32:33,358
We have to do everything
that we can to fight,
878
00:32:33,452 --> 00:32:34,934
But we can't--
879
00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:36,954
- Yeah, but I mean, that sounds
like a platitude to me.
880
00:32:37,105 --> 00:32:37,862
- Okay.
- Like, I'm--
881
00:32:37,957 --> 00:32:39,623
I don't need to hear platitudes
882
00:32:39,850 --> 00:32:42,033
About oh, we need to do
everything we can,
883
00:32:42,186 --> 00:32:43,702
And hang in there,
and, you know,
884
00:32:43,854 --> 00:32:45,945
We believe in this.
885
00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:48,966
Like, talk is cheap,
as far as I'm concerned.
886
00:32:49,117 --> 00:32:51,134
I don't--I'm not asking
for you to comfort me.
887
00:32:51,286 --> 00:32:52,285
Like, I'm not--
you know what I mean?
888
00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:53,211
- Trust me, I'm not trying to.
889
00:32:53,363 --> 00:32:54,362
- Okay.
890
00:32:54,456 --> 00:32:58,809
- I'm just trying to have
a normal evening
891
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,869
Is all I'm trying to do.
892
00:33:00,887 --> 00:33:02,462
- I just don't want you
to make me feel
893
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,147
Like there's something
wrong with me for--
894
00:33:04,299 --> 00:33:07,042
For--for feeling the way I do
about things, that's all.
895
00:33:07,060 --> 00:33:08,151
But this is me.
896
00:33:08,303 --> 00:33:09,894
- I don't think it's fair
for you to tell me
897
00:33:10,047 --> 00:33:13,490
That I can't be an ally
or agree.
898
00:33:13,641 --> 00:33:17,452
- It doesn't seem, like,
authentic to just--you know.
899
00:33:25,729 --> 00:33:29,172
- Have I ever once
called you inauthentic?
900
00:33:29,324 --> 00:33:31,657
- I'm not calling you
inauthentic.
901
00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:33,235
[dramatic music]
902
00:33:33,253 --> 00:33:34,494
- Are you gonna gaslight me?
903
00:33:34,588 --> 00:33:37,072
"it feels inauthentic"?
904
00:33:37,090 --> 00:33:38,740
What is this puppet mastery?
905
00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:40,592
What are you trying to say?
906
00:33:40,686 --> 00:33:42,244
♪ ♪
907
00:33:42,337 --> 00:33:44,763
I can't acknowledge
and respond?
908
00:33:44,857 --> 00:33:48,099
I can't have a positive outlook
and be kind?
909
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:50,769
- For the record, I do not
think you're inauthentic.
910
00:33:50,863 --> 00:33:53,588
Just because I felt like
one thing you said wasn't
911
00:33:53,681 --> 00:33:55,848
Fully authentic doesn't mean--
912
00:33:55,868 --> 00:33:58,184
It's not the same as you're
not authentic, that's all.
913
00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:00,370
- I'm just saying,
do not question me
914
00:34:00,597 --> 00:34:02,614
Unless you have facts
to back it up.
915
00:34:02,766 --> 00:34:04,432
Don't say it feels inauthentic.
916
00:34:04,526 --> 00:34:06,025
Don't say stuff like that
to me.
917
00:34:06,045 --> 00:34:08,270
- Well, that's how I felt
at the moment,
918
00:34:08,288 --> 00:34:09,788
So sorry if it doesn't sit well
with you.
919
00:34:09,882 --> 00:34:12,791
[dramatic music]
920
00:34:12,943 --> 00:34:17,179
♪ ♪
921
00:34:20,967 --> 00:34:22,284
- ♪ I know
just what you're feeling ♪
922
00:34:22,302 --> 00:34:26,212
♪ y'all won't let me speak
with meaning ♪
923
00:34:26,231 --> 00:34:28,047
- I just got a big bite
of wasabi.
924
00:34:28,067 --> 00:34:28,807
- Yep, yep.
- Oh, did you see it?
925
00:34:28,959 --> 00:34:31,126
- No, but I did it myself.
926
00:34:31,219 --> 00:34:32,569
[laughter]
927
00:34:32,796 --> 00:34:36,722
- So do you want to start off
and talk about, like, love
928
00:34:36,817 --> 00:34:39,634
And our experiences with it?
- Sure.
929
00:34:39,653 --> 00:34:42,137
- So do you think you've
ever actually been
930
00:34:42,155 --> 00:34:43,805
In love with someone before?
931
00:34:43,898 --> 00:34:44,989
- Not with a significant other.
- Hmm.
932
00:34:45,142 --> 00:34:45,824
- No, I don't think so.
933
00:34:45,976 --> 00:34:47,751
What about you?
- I have.
934
00:34:47,978 --> 00:34:49,144
- Yeah.
- I have.
935
00:34:49,162 --> 00:34:49,661
- Recent or--or--
936
00:34:49,813 --> 00:34:50,903
- Uh-huh, yeah.
937
00:34:50,923 --> 00:34:52,738
My last relationship,
it was love.
938
00:34:52,758 --> 00:34:55,483
- Mm-hmm.
- And it was genuine.
939
00:34:55,502 --> 00:34:57,652
We showed up for each
other every single day,
940
00:34:57,671 --> 00:35:01,080
And we made it work
every single day,
941
00:35:01,174 --> 00:35:02,599
Even if something happens.
942
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:08,346
Like--and he got really drunk
one night, and he was like,
943
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,924
I would fight every freaking
person on this planet for you.
944
00:35:11,944 --> 00:35:15,170
He's like,
I don't care who it is.
945
00:35:15,188 --> 00:35:18,173
I would fight everyone for you,
and I'm like...
946
00:35:18,191 --> 00:35:19,524
- That's, for sure,
technically true love, yeah.
947
00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:20,933
- Damn. [laughs]
948
00:35:21,027 --> 00:35:21,860
- That's awesome.
949
00:35:21,954 --> 00:35:23,345
- Oh, god.
- That was a whole--
950
00:35:23,363 --> 00:35:25,271
- That, for sure--that,
for sure, was love.
951
00:35:25,290 --> 00:35:26,865
- And that's hard to find too.
952
00:35:27,017 --> 00:35:29,793
You don't find that
often, and it just--
953
00:35:29,944 --> 00:35:32,036
It was one of those, like,
right person, wrong time...
954
00:35:32,189 --> 00:35:32,963
- Yeah.
955
00:35:33,190 --> 00:35:34,539
- Kind of a relationship,
you know?
956
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:35,707
- I feel that, for sure.
957
00:35:35,859 --> 00:35:38,193
- So you've never been in love?
Never...
958
00:35:38,211 --> 00:35:40,286
- I remember in college,
there was a girl
959
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:42,714
In my computer science class.
- Mm-hmm.
960
00:35:42,866 --> 00:35:44,624
- And for, like, three--two,
three years, everything was
961
00:35:44,643 --> 00:35:46,810
Good, and then just life hit.
962
00:35:47,037 --> 00:35:49,387
Like, nothing in
my life went right, like...
963
00:35:49,539 --> 00:35:50,388
- Mm-hmm.
- My grandma passed.
964
00:35:50,540 --> 00:35:51,464
- Mm-hmm.
965
00:35:51,483 --> 00:35:53,299
- I lost two aunts
to breast cancer.
966
00:35:53,318 --> 00:35:56,636
My--my best friend died
in a car accident.
967
00:35:56,730 --> 00:35:58,137
And it was all topped off
with my dad's heart attack.
968
00:35:58,157 --> 00:36:01,883
So I feel like that was
the one that kind of got away.
969
00:36:01,902 --> 00:36:03,160
- Mm-hmm.
970
00:36:03,311 --> 00:36:04,886
- That's probably,
like, the deepest
971
00:36:04,905 --> 00:36:06,646
I've ever been in love.
972
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:08,165
And not that I
took it out on her,
973
00:36:08,392 --> 00:36:10,392
But it's just I had
so much to deal with.
974
00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:11,668
And so I--
975
00:36:11,819 --> 00:36:13,895
I took a step back
and got distant.
976
00:36:13,914 --> 00:36:14,820
- Mm-hmm.
977
00:36:14,915 --> 00:36:17,156
- And then she felt it,
978
00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:18,991
And we just kind of from there,
979
00:36:19,085 --> 00:36:21,419
Slowly just separated.
- Mm.
980
00:36:21,571 --> 00:36:24,906
- After that, I've had other
relationships, but I still--
981
00:36:24,925 --> 00:36:27,759
Still trying to figure
it all out too.
982
00:36:27,911 --> 00:36:28,910
- Mm-hmm.
983
00:36:28,929 --> 00:36:30,836
- Yeah, like, I took time
984
00:36:30,856 --> 00:36:35,099
To really think of what
transpired on the honeymoon.
985
00:36:35,194 --> 00:36:36,751
- Mm.
986
00:36:36,844 --> 00:36:39,254
- And when I said
all that stuff to you,
987
00:36:39,347 --> 00:36:42,348
It was my insecurities.
- Mm.
988
00:36:42,367 --> 00:36:44,426
- The finances,
the family things,
989
00:36:44,444 --> 00:36:48,872
Because growing up
in an asian home, you're--
990
00:36:49,023 --> 00:36:51,266
You're almost,
like, forced to--
991
00:36:51,284 --> 00:36:53,693
To be a doctor, to go
to a prestigious school.
992
00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:56,271
And if you're not,
it's like you're only--
993
00:36:56,289 --> 00:36:58,773
You're only loved for
what you can achieve,
994
00:36:58,866 --> 00:37:00,032
Not for who you
are as a person.
995
00:37:00,052 --> 00:37:02,201
- And so I projected that
onto you.
996
00:37:02,221 --> 00:37:03,220
- Mm.
997
00:37:03,371 --> 00:37:04,629
- And my whole life,
even, like,
998
00:37:04,781 --> 00:37:07,282
The last three years,
I still to this day
999
00:37:07,300 --> 00:37:08,132
Feel like I'm not enough.
1000
00:37:08,227 --> 00:37:09,451
- Mm.
1001
00:37:09,469 --> 00:37:11,803
- And so in relationships
after that, I just
1002
00:37:11,955 --> 00:37:14,231
Never felt like I was enough.
1003
00:37:14,458 --> 00:37:16,458
And I projected that onto you.
- Mm-hmm.
1004
00:37:16,551 --> 00:37:19,552
- And ultimately,
hurt people hurt people.
1005
00:37:19,571 --> 00:37:20,962
And I hurt you.
1006
00:37:20,981 --> 00:37:22,480
- Mm-hmm.
- And it's 'cause I'm hurt.
1007
00:37:22,632 --> 00:37:24,799
♪ ♪
1008
00:37:24,818 --> 00:37:27,226
I never got satisfaction
from my dad...
1009
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,471
- Yeah.
- For not loving me.
1010
00:37:29,489 --> 00:37:30,972
♪ ♪
1011
00:37:30,991 --> 00:37:33,141
I thought that you were
the only one with daddy issues,
1012
00:37:33,159 --> 00:37:34,659
But truthfully,
in a different way,
1013
00:37:34,753 --> 00:37:36,235
Different circumstances,
1014
00:37:36,255 --> 00:37:39,314
Different ways we handle it,
but I have daddy issues too.
1015
00:37:39,332 --> 00:37:42,484
- Yeah.
1016
00:37:42,502 --> 00:37:44,168
- It's not my dad's fault.
Like, he came here
1017
00:37:44,321 --> 00:37:46,096
At 19 with little.
- Mm-hmm.
1018
00:37:46,323 --> 00:37:47,322
- He never had a dad
growing up.
1019
00:37:47,340 --> 00:37:48,431
- Mm-hmm.
1020
00:37:48,658 --> 00:37:51,009
- And he did what he did
for me and my brother,
1021
00:37:51,161 --> 00:37:53,344
But I sat, and I thought,
and it wasn't fair
1022
00:37:53,497 --> 00:37:54,512
To project that onto you.
1023
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:58,500
And I'm just genuinely sorry
for all that.
1024
00:37:58,518 --> 00:38:00,835
- Mm-hmm.
1025
00:38:00,854 --> 00:38:03,671
No, I really
appreciate you, like...
1026
00:38:03,690 --> 00:38:05,431
- Yeah.
- Really figuring that out.
1027
00:38:05,450 --> 00:38:06,841
And then also not
only just, like,
1028
00:38:06,860 --> 00:38:09,010
Figuring that out,
but, like, verbalizing
1029
00:38:09,029 --> 00:38:11,621
Everything and telling me.
1030
00:38:11,773 --> 00:38:14,607
So I really--I really
appreciate you actually
1031
00:38:14,701 --> 00:38:16,367
Telling me all of this.
1032
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:19,296
It's really nice, you
know, because I always
1033
00:38:19,447 --> 00:38:22,707
Felt like I was never gonna
meet your standards, ever,
1034
00:38:22,859 --> 00:38:24,134
You know?
- And you shouldn't have to be.
1035
00:38:24,285 --> 00:38:26,952
And that's the thing that
I came to the realization is,
1036
00:38:27,047 --> 00:38:28,788
Is that you are enough.
1037
00:38:28,882 --> 00:38:31,716
I am enough.
- Mm-hmm.
1038
00:38:31,868 --> 00:38:35,312
- And no matter what, I get
belittled from asian culture
1039
00:38:35,463 --> 00:38:36,629
For not being a doctor
1040
00:38:36,648 --> 00:38:37,963
Or going
to a prestigious school,
1041
00:38:38,058 --> 00:38:41,484
I have to understand and try
to find a way to fix it,
1042
00:38:41,711 --> 00:38:44,637
To understand that not
everybody is gonna love me
1043
00:38:44,656 --> 00:38:46,489
For who I am or what I do.
- Mm-hmm.
1044
00:38:46,716 --> 00:38:51,143
- But I have to figure out
how I am enough.
1045
00:38:51,163 --> 00:38:53,221
And I'm still honestly trying
to figure that out.
1046
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,166
- Yeah.
1047
00:38:56,317 --> 00:38:59,836
I'm glad you, like, recognize
that, 'cause that's huge.
1048
00:39:00,063 --> 00:39:02,063
That is absolutely huge
that you've come to that,
1049
00:39:02,082 --> 00:39:05,233
Because you know
you're such a people pleaser,
1050
00:39:05,251 --> 00:39:06,901
It's hard.
1051
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,161
And it's hard
recognizing the cycle
1052
00:39:09,255 --> 00:39:10,405
And breaking the cycle.
1053
00:39:10,498 --> 00:39:12,073
So I'm really happy,
you know, and I'm here
1054
00:39:12,092 --> 00:39:15,743
To support you, too, with
however you decide to,
1055
00:39:15,762 --> 00:39:18,079
Like, figure that out and
do what you want to do.
1056
00:39:18,098 --> 00:39:21,432
Like, I'm gonna support you
with all of that.
1057
00:39:21,526 --> 00:39:23,509
This is good.
1058
00:39:23,528 --> 00:39:24,769
I'm happy for you.
1059
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,938
This is a good thing.
1060
00:39:27,090 --> 00:39:28,923
This is a really good thing.
1061
00:39:28,942 --> 00:39:33,444
- ♪ ooh, and it's ooh ♪
1062
00:39:33,597 --> 00:39:35,688
♪ ♪
1063
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,432
[upbeat music]
1064
00:39:37,525 --> 00:39:38,616
- ♪ there ain't nothing
to it ♪
1065
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:41,360
♪ celebrate your life
right now, yeah ♪
1066
00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:43,121
♪ it's yours ♪
1067
00:39:43,273 --> 00:39:44,606
- Oh, cooking lessons.
1068
00:39:44,624 --> 00:39:45,548
- How you doing, chefs?
1069
00:39:45,700 --> 00:39:46,699
- Hell yeah, let's go.
1070
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:47,959
- Oh, we have to wear
these hats, huh?
1071
00:39:48,053 --> 00:39:49,277
- You don't have to.
- Oh.
1072
00:39:49,370 --> 00:39:50,870
[laughter]
- I'm gonna rock it.
1073
00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:52,037
- It's more fun
if you do, though.
1074
00:39:52,132 --> 00:39:53,223
- You have to wear it.
You have to wear it.
1075
00:39:53,374 --> 00:39:56,876
- Having that tough
night with nate was kind
1076
00:39:56,895 --> 00:40:00,045
Of eye-opening to see
how we are when we,
1077
00:40:00,065 --> 00:40:02,123
You know, get into a conflict.
1078
00:40:02,142 --> 00:40:05,568
I felt myself retreating
and putting up a wall.
1079
00:40:05,795 --> 00:40:08,405
And I told myself
going into this process
1080
00:40:08,632 --> 00:40:11,074
That I would run towards my
husband and not away from him.
1081
00:40:11,301 --> 00:40:14,485
So I just want to show
him, you know, we're good.
1082
00:40:14,638 --> 00:40:16,246
We're still moving forward.
1083
00:40:16,397 --> 00:40:18,415
I'm still committed
to my husband.
1084
00:40:18,566 --> 00:40:20,324
I just hope that it doesn't
become a recurring problem.
1085
00:40:20,477 --> 00:40:22,234
- Awesome.
- Okay, you look good.
1086
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:24,254
- There you go.
- Let's cook!
1087
00:40:24,405 --> 00:40:28,483
- ♪ I wanna do it with,
with, with, with, with ♪
1088
00:40:28,501 --> 00:40:31,002
♪ ♪
1089
00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:35,823
♪ and you do this to me,
me, me, me, me, me ♪
1090
00:40:35,917 --> 00:40:37,158
♪ me, me, me, me, me ♪
1091
00:40:37,177 --> 00:40:39,343
♪ ♪
1092
00:40:39,496 --> 00:40:41,438
- How are you feeling today
1093
00:40:41,589 --> 00:40:45,833
After our disagreement
last night?
1094
00:40:45,927 --> 00:40:46,609
- I'm feeling good.
You know--
1095
00:40:46,836 --> 00:40:47,835
- Did you--
1096
00:40:47,854 --> 00:40:49,428
- We weren't screaming
at each other.
1097
00:40:49,448 --> 00:40:50,855
It was just like...
- No.
1098
00:40:51,007 --> 00:40:52,173
- We just got into, like,
a little argument, that's it.
1099
00:40:52,192 --> 00:40:53,858
- But I could tell, like,
you were elevating.
1100
00:40:54,010 --> 00:40:55,618
Your whole demeanor,
like, your face changed.
1101
00:40:55,845 --> 00:40:56,786
- Right.
1102
00:40:56,938 --> 00:40:58,604
- I just was, like,
trying to be calm.
1103
00:40:58,698 --> 00:41:00,698
- So you held your demeanor.
Good job.
1104
00:41:00,850 --> 00:41:01,516
- Yeah, because if I elevate,
then you're
1105
00:41:01,534 --> 00:41:02,441
Probably gonna elevate,
1106
00:41:02,461 --> 00:41:05,128
And then
I'm gonna really elevate.
1107
00:41:05,355 --> 00:41:10,541
- Yeah, because I was like,
she's playing games right now.
1108
00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:14,212
And I didn't like it.
1109
00:41:14,306 --> 00:41:17,807
- I was just trying to get,
like, my point across.
1110
00:41:17,959 --> 00:41:20,885
Like, saying that I was
manipulating you, I was like,
1111
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:24,722
Oh, you're, like, trying
to attack my character now.
1112
00:41:24,874 --> 00:41:28,651
Like, when you get upset,
are you gonna, like, lash out?
1113
00:41:28,803 --> 00:41:31,729
- If someone's playing the
devil's advocate for too long,
1114
00:41:31,881 --> 00:41:33,231
Then it's not even a challenge.
1115
00:41:33,383 --> 00:41:35,233
It's not even a debate
or opinions anymore.
1116
00:41:35,327 --> 00:41:37,552
It's hard-headedness.
1117
00:41:37,570 --> 00:41:38,995
♪ ♪
1118
00:41:39,222 --> 00:41:41,556
- I'm just trying
to keep it all in.
1119
00:41:41,649 --> 00:41:45,560
However, inside,
I'm, like, going crazy.
1120
00:41:45,578 --> 00:41:47,837
Like, my attitude,
everything is on 10.
1121
00:41:48,064 --> 00:41:52,324
Like, I'm, like,
cussing up a storm inside.
1122
00:41:52,344 --> 00:41:53,751
- I feel like I was
looking at with--
1123
00:41:53,903 --> 00:41:55,661
Like, from a positive light.
1124
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,905
And I feel like
your point of view
1125
00:41:57,924 --> 00:42:00,074
Was, like, coming from,
like, a darker place.
1126
00:42:00,093 --> 00:42:01,809
And I don't know
where that's coming from.
1127
00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:07,023
- I don't understand
"a dark place."
1128
00:42:07,174 --> 00:42:09,526
- You mentioned,
like, you being
1129
00:42:09,753 --> 00:42:12,011
Afraid of being in a--
like, a loveless marriage.
1130
00:42:12,105 --> 00:42:14,513
Like, where did that come from?
1131
00:42:14,533 --> 00:42:15,940
- Because, like,
you were saying that
1132
00:42:16,092 --> 00:42:16,941
You were in a relationship
for two years
1133
00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:18,109
And you didn't love her.
1134
00:42:18,261 --> 00:42:21,429
- I mean, I had love for her,
but I had
1135
00:42:21,447 --> 00:42:25,041
A pretty toxic relationship.
1136
00:42:25,192 --> 00:42:27,451
She would essentially
hit me with ultimatums,
1137
00:42:27,604 --> 00:42:29,361
Like, all the time.
1138
00:42:29,455 --> 00:42:30,955
She used to say stuff like
if you don't act this way,
1139
00:42:31,049 --> 00:42:34,609
Then we're done.
1140
00:42:34,627 --> 00:42:36,553
And then I would have to, like,
chase after her
1141
00:42:36,780 --> 00:42:38,112
And be like, no, like,
what are you doing?
1142
00:42:38,131 --> 00:42:39,872
Like, no.
1143
00:42:39,891 --> 00:42:41,799
- So will that be like us too?
1144
00:42:41,951 --> 00:42:44,043
Because I'm still at a four.
1145
00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,044
- Like, if I didn't have
any feelings,
1146
00:42:45,138 --> 00:42:46,545
It would be a 0 out of 10.
1147
00:42:46,639 --> 00:42:47,730
Does that make any sense?
1148
00:42:47,882 --> 00:42:49,457
- Yeah, but I'm trying
to get to the place
1149
00:42:49,475 --> 00:42:51,125
Where you, like, love me
and will say it.
1150
00:42:51,144 --> 00:42:54,312
♪ ♪
1151
00:42:54,464 --> 00:42:59,483
- So like, are you afraid of me
not being in love with you?
1152
00:42:59,636 --> 00:43:01,652
- Mm-hmm.
1153
00:43:01,805 --> 00:43:03,913
- Why didn't you just say that?
1154
00:43:04,065 --> 00:43:05,823
- I was trying to.
1155
00:43:05,975 --> 00:43:07,066
- Right.
1156
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:08,142
- I guess I'm--
1157
00:43:08,161 --> 00:43:09,327
I don't know, like,
if you're okay
1158
00:43:09,479 --> 00:43:13,314
With even saying, like,
I love you, either.
1159
00:43:13,407 --> 00:43:15,240
You know, it's just a choice.
- Mm-hmm.
1160
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:17,409
- Either you're gonna do it,
or you're--you're not.
1161
00:43:17,429 --> 00:43:20,154
- I mean, you don't
have to worry about that
1162
00:43:20,173 --> 00:43:22,673
Because I just have
to let you know that...
1163
00:43:22,826 --> 00:43:27,770
♪ ♪
1164
00:43:27,922 --> 00:43:29,330
I really like you.
1165
00:43:29,349 --> 00:43:31,757
♪ ♪
1166
00:43:31,851 --> 00:43:33,092
I think you're beautiful.
1167
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:35,761
And I want you to believe in me
1168
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:39,690
And believe in us
1169
00:43:39,784 --> 00:43:42,860
With 100% faith.
1170
00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:44,345
- Nate telling me
that I need to have
1171
00:43:44,364 --> 00:43:46,848
More faith is [bleep] to me.
1172
00:43:46,941 --> 00:43:48,199
- I mean, I'm already
married, so it's like--
1173
00:43:48,293 --> 00:43:51,961
- I'm not going to sit here
with blinders on.
1174
00:43:52,113 --> 00:43:53,020
I do have faith.
1175
00:43:53,114 --> 00:43:54,797
I mean, I have it
tattooed here,
1176
00:43:55,024 --> 00:43:56,782
"for we walk by faith
and not by sight."
1177
00:43:56,801 --> 00:44:00,970
But I'm still
gonna challenge him.
1178
00:44:01,122 --> 00:44:03,622
- Cheers to faith.
1179
00:44:03,642 --> 00:44:06,550
[dramatic music]
1180
00:44:06,703 --> 00:44:08,311
♪ ♪
1181
00:44:12,225 --> 00:44:15,710
- ♪ we are all the same,
and we will keep on cruising ♪
1182
00:44:15,728 --> 00:44:17,820
- Are you excited
for beach clean-up?
1183
00:44:18,047 --> 00:44:18,804
- Hell yeah.
1184
00:44:18,823 --> 00:44:21,065
- It's so nice out too. Yeah.
1185
00:44:21,159 --> 00:44:23,159
- Nice and windy.
1186
00:44:23,310 --> 00:44:24,552
It's just really
thoughtful of her
1187
00:44:24,645 --> 00:44:27,889
To kind of bring me out
to the beach, you know?
1188
00:44:27,907 --> 00:44:29,891
- This area good?
Oh.
1189
00:44:29,984 --> 00:44:32,151
- Wrap life.
- Wrap life chose me.
1190
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:33,577
- Peanut m&m?
1191
00:44:33,730 --> 00:44:36,230
- Honestly, I think
I got dental floss.
1192
00:44:36,249 --> 00:44:38,249
We know how you feel about...
- Ah.
1193
00:44:38,343 --> 00:44:40,584
- One-time use dental floss
is a no-no in mitch world.
1194
00:44:40,679 --> 00:44:41,752
- "floss-il" fuel.
1195
00:44:41,905 --> 00:44:44,071
She's ready to listen
to me pontificate
1196
00:44:44,165 --> 00:44:45,923
About the plastics
and the trash
1197
00:44:46,017 --> 00:44:47,909
And the marine debris
1198
00:44:47,927 --> 00:44:50,002
And doesn't tell me
to shut up.
1199
00:44:50,096 --> 00:44:52,337
Should we head back
to our blankie?
1200
00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:53,505
- Yeah.
- I think we've done--
1201
00:44:53,525 --> 00:44:54,673
I think we've done the deed.
- I do too.
1202
00:44:54,767 --> 00:44:56,859
- You know, she's keeping me
in her thoughts.
1203
00:44:57,086 --> 00:44:58,753
I love that.
1204
00:44:58,771 --> 00:44:59,696
- Anyone want a fruit tart?
1205
00:44:59,847 --> 00:45:02,198
- Oh, babe,
you know I love those.
1206
00:45:02,425 --> 00:45:03,515
- Me too.
1207
00:45:03,535 --> 00:45:04,942
But I think we should start
with the wrap.
1208
00:45:05,036 --> 00:45:05,943
- Veggie wrap?
1209
00:45:06,095 --> 00:45:08,279
- Yeah.
1210
00:45:08,431 --> 00:45:12,283
Should we just talk briefly,
very briefly, about karaoke?
1211
00:45:12,435 --> 00:45:13,692
- Karaoke was awesome
until that one moment
1212
00:45:13,712 --> 00:45:15,102
Where it wasn't.
1213
00:45:15,196 --> 00:45:18,047
- We were just having
so much fun,
1214
00:45:18,274 --> 00:45:20,383
And I just don't know how
or why things took
1215
00:45:20,534 --> 00:45:23,368
Such a harsh turn
towards the end.
1216
00:45:23,388 --> 00:45:25,221
- Maybe I said some things I--
1217
00:45:25,448 --> 00:45:26,464
That maybe offended you
and probably weren't
1218
00:45:26,616 --> 00:45:29,058
The best way to say it,
you know?
1219
00:45:29,285 --> 00:45:32,895
- I do feel like I bring a lot
to the table.
1220
00:45:33,122 --> 00:45:35,806
I just want to make sure
you realize that and not
1221
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:39,460
Somehow take something I say
or a life dream of mine
1222
00:45:39,479 --> 00:45:40,737
And kind of manipulate it
1223
00:45:40,888 --> 00:45:41,904
Into something negative...
- Yeah.
1224
00:45:42,056 --> 00:45:44,223
- And then make
a generalization about me
1225
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:47,635
That is just, for lack of
a better word, just not true.
1226
00:45:47,653 --> 00:45:50,896
- Not true.
- And some things you say
1227
00:45:50,915 --> 00:45:54,584
Make me feel like you wish
I was different in some aspect.
1228
00:45:54,811 --> 00:45:56,085
♪ ♪
1229
00:45:56,312 --> 00:45:59,422
I just don't want
to be made to feel like
1230
00:45:59,649 --> 00:46:02,091
Somebody who's with me
is ungrateful for me,
1231
00:46:02,318 --> 00:46:05,653
'cause I'm gonna start
to resent you.
1232
00:46:05,671 --> 00:46:09,156
And I just don't want that
to happen.
1233
00:46:09,250 --> 00:46:10,841
So I'm just sharing that
with you.
1234
00:46:10,994 --> 00:46:13,752
- Yeah, I think
you don't deserve that.
1235
00:46:13,846 --> 00:46:15,087
I'm gonna do my best, you know?
1236
00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:17,832
And to be honest,
I am really grateful for you.
1237
00:46:17,850 --> 00:46:20,167
And I really appreciate
us being here today
1238
00:46:20,261 --> 00:46:21,669
And that you set this all up.
1239
00:46:21,687 --> 00:46:25,597
I really appreciate it.
1240
00:46:25,617 --> 00:46:28,284
- But I just want to make sure
it's not just, like,
1241
00:46:28,511 --> 00:46:29,510
The picnic--
1242
00:46:29,529 --> 00:46:34,015
Like, overall
that you see my value
1243
00:46:34,108 --> 00:46:36,200
And that you don't
take it for granted.
1244
00:46:36,352 --> 00:46:38,277
- Okay.
1245
00:46:38,371 --> 00:46:39,203
I appreciate you.
1246
00:46:39,355 --> 00:46:40,279
- Okay.
1247
00:46:40,373 --> 00:46:42,189
Just think about
how you can verbalize it
1248
00:46:42,283 --> 00:46:43,874
And show it a little more.
1249
00:46:44,027 --> 00:46:45,635
- Okay.
Well, it's good for me to know.
1250
00:46:45,862 --> 00:46:47,211
I mean...
- Yeah.
1251
00:46:47,363 --> 00:46:50,714
- I wasn't fully aware that
you felt unappreciated, so--
1252
00:46:50,867 --> 00:46:52,550
- With the honeymoon issue
and then
1253
00:46:52,702 --> 00:46:55,719
I just saw that old
maybe mitch kind of creep up
1254
00:46:55,872 --> 00:46:59,482
Again last night, and I
just want to put him back down.
1255
00:46:59,709 --> 00:47:05,304
♪ ♪
1256
00:47:05,398 --> 00:47:07,490
- ♪ somebody save me, yeah ♪
1257
00:47:07,717 --> 00:47:11,068
♪ but baby, I'm gonna rock you
like you a stone ♪
1258
00:47:11,220 --> 00:47:12,386
- I didn't tell you this
before.
1259
00:47:12,479 --> 00:47:14,388
It's really nice
when you're here.
1260
00:47:14,481 --> 00:47:15,331
Even though I'm working...
1261
00:47:15,558 --> 00:47:16,481
- Mm-hmm.
1262
00:47:16,501 --> 00:47:17,892
- I get to catch up with you.
1263
00:47:17,910 --> 00:47:18,909
I'm not completely alone...
- Yeah.
1264
00:47:19,062 --> 00:47:20,837
- With a cat
that hates me that's...
1265
00:47:20,988 --> 00:47:22,079
- [laughs]
1266
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:22,730
- Conspiring to kill me.
1267
00:47:22,748 --> 00:47:25,249
She's like...
1268
00:47:25,401 --> 00:47:26,843
[cat meows]
1269
00:47:27,070 --> 00:47:28,586
♪ ♪
1270
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,071
- Just eyeballing you.
1271
00:47:30,089 --> 00:47:32,423
- Yeah, eyeballing, and then
she, like, moves slowly.
1272
00:47:32,517 --> 00:47:34,350
- 'cause she's afraid of you.
1273
00:47:34,577 --> 00:47:36,335
- I think it's very much
mutual at this point.
1274
00:47:36,354 --> 00:47:37,353
I don't know.
1275
00:47:37,504 --> 00:47:38,855
- Oh, god.
1276
00:47:39,006 --> 00:47:41,098
- Do you want some bubbly?
[cork pops]
1277
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:42,024
- Oh, my god.
1278
00:47:42,176 --> 00:47:43,008
[laughter]
1279
00:47:43,102 --> 00:47:44,527
Miguel, you didn't warn me.
1280
00:47:44,754 --> 00:47:45,844
Jeez.
1281
00:47:45,864 --> 00:47:49,014
Okay, sorry,
I'm a little on edge.
1282
00:47:49,108 --> 00:47:53,369
"what do you think it takes
for you to fall in love?"
1283
00:47:53,596 --> 00:47:54,445
- Time.
- Yeah.
1284
00:47:54,539 --> 00:47:55,279
- Definitely time.
1285
00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:56,372
- I was gonna say that too.
1286
00:47:56,599 --> 00:47:58,190
Like, eight month thing
I've always
1287
00:47:58,209 --> 00:48:00,692
Had in my head
where, like, you've
1288
00:48:00,712 --> 00:48:03,528
Probably seen
someone when they're
1289
00:48:03,623 --> 00:48:05,606
Tired, when they're hungry.
1290
00:48:05,625 --> 00:48:07,717
Seeing the worst part
of someone and, like,
1291
00:48:07,944 --> 00:48:12,463
Hating that part of
them but still choosing
1292
00:48:12,615 --> 00:48:15,299
And figuring out how to find
the love and the connection
1293
00:48:15,393 --> 00:48:17,635
And, like, bring it
back to the good part.
1294
00:48:17,729 --> 00:48:18,636
- Hmm.
1295
00:48:18,788 --> 00:48:19,787
So I'm the opposite.
1296
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:24,066
Like, I would not
stick around for that.
1297
00:48:24,218 --> 00:48:27,144
If I was with someone
and they were acting out,
1298
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:29,238
I perceive them to be crazy,
rude, or inconsiderate--
1299
00:48:29,465 --> 00:48:30,481
- Mm-hmm.
1300
00:48:30,633 --> 00:48:34,059
- I'm like, oh, not for me,
bye, like...
1301
00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:35,077
- But I am human,
and I would hope
1302
00:48:35,229 --> 00:48:36,579
That there would be grace.
1303
00:48:36,730 --> 00:48:38,414
- I know, but even grace
is finite, right?
1304
00:48:38,641 --> 00:48:39,990
It's not, like,
a bottomless pit of, like,
1305
00:48:40,143 --> 00:48:44,145
I'm just gonna have all
these outbursts and breakdowns,
1306
00:48:44,238 --> 00:48:47,331
And expect me to stick around.
1307
00:48:47,483 --> 00:48:50,092
♪ ♪
1308
00:48:53,839 --> 00:48:55,097
[tense music]
1309
00:48:55,324 --> 00:48:57,508
- If I was with someone
and they were acting out,
1310
00:48:57,602 --> 00:49:02,846
I perceive them to be crazy,
I'm like, oh, not for me, bye.
1311
00:49:02,999 --> 00:49:04,089
Because I've been in
relationships where
1312
00:49:04,183 --> 00:49:05,182
I've been taken for granted.
1313
00:49:05,334 --> 00:49:06,258
- Mm-hmm.
1314
00:49:06,352 --> 00:49:08,836
- I've been used
because of how easygoing
1315
00:49:08,854 --> 00:49:10,521
And forgiving I can be.
1316
00:49:10,673 --> 00:49:12,339
I try to put my foot down
a little bit more
1317
00:49:12,358 --> 00:49:15,267
And be kind of more
firm and vocal.
1318
00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:16,768
I don't want us to ever get
to that point
1319
00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:23,125
Where things become, like,
toxic, if you will, you know?
1320
00:49:23,277 --> 00:49:26,945
- I'm just hoping that you'll
support me in times
1321
00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,130
Where I am emotionally
distraught.
1322
00:49:28,282 --> 00:49:29,114
- Well, what do you think?
1323
00:49:29,133 --> 00:49:29,799
- And you're not
gonna be like,
1324
00:49:29,950 --> 00:49:31,709
Okay, here's a checkmark.
1325
00:49:31,861 --> 00:49:33,970
I only have so many
more of these in me.
1326
00:49:34,121 --> 00:49:35,954
- But there's different
designations to how--
1327
00:49:36,048 --> 00:49:38,957
Like, the severity of an issue.
1328
00:49:38,977 --> 00:49:41,310
You know, if I were to betray
you, like, how many of those
1329
00:49:41,537 --> 00:49:43,370
Would you give me grace for?
- I don't know.
1330
00:49:43,389 --> 00:49:44,480
That's the thing
is I wouldn't be like,
1331
00:49:44,631 --> 00:49:46,465
Okay, here's my book
of scores with miguel.
1332
00:49:46,559 --> 00:49:48,375
- Right.
- Like, that is not what
1333
00:49:48,469 --> 00:49:50,544
I want with our relationship.
- Mm-hmm.
1334
00:49:50,637 --> 00:49:52,546
- Because if we're keeping
score on every time
1335
00:49:52,639 --> 00:49:54,215
That we've wronged each other,
1336
00:49:54,233 --> 00:49:55,825
We're gonna crash and burn,
miguel.
1337
00:49:55,976 --> 00:49:57,994
Like, we have to--
1338
00:49:58,145 --> 00:50:02,331
If in the moment we fix
something, that's it.
1339
00:50:02,483 --> 00:50:05,559
Real love, to me, is seeing
someone at their worst
1340
00:50:05,578 --> 00:50:07,819
And then still choosing to love
them and fighting for them.
1341
00:50:07,913 --> 00:50:12,233
And if there isn't grace and
forgiveness in a relationship,
1342
00:50:12,326 --> 00:50:14,418
Then it's just not
gonna be successful,
1343
00:50:14,570 --> 00:50:16,512
Because we're human.
1344
00:50:16,663 --> 00:50:18,739
- But what if we address
something important and then
1345
00:50:18,758 --> 00:50:20,832
I, like, go back on it?
1346
00:50:20,852 --> 00:50:22,593
You would still give me grace?
- Of course.
1347
00:50:22,687 --> 00:50:23,853
It's a learning curve.
1348
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:24,520
There's gonna be so much
learning with each other.
1349
00:50:24,747 --> 00:50:25,763
- Yeah.
1350
00:50:25,915 --> 00:50:28,249
- We're not gonna get it
overnight.
1351
00:50:28,342 --> 00:50:29,174
It's gonna take a lot of work.
1352
00:50:29,193 --> 00:50:30,100
There's gotta be a lot of grace
1353
00:50:30,253 --> 00:50:33,178
Because that's gonna take
a while.
1354
00:50:33,197 --> 00:50:34,513
- Good, yeah.
1355
00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:35,680
I'm lucky, then.
1356
00:50:35,700 --> 00:50:36,940
I don't know.
1357
00:50:37,035 --> 00:50:40,185
Lindy has an infinite pool
to give someone grace.
1358
00:50:40,204 --> 00:50:42,371
I am very much the opposite.
1359
00:50:42,523 --> 00:50:44,689
There's a fine line
between, like, patience
1360
00:50:44,709 --> 00:50:48,026
And being taken advantage of.
1361
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:49,378
- Okay, we'll drop it, then.
1362
00:50:49,605 --> 00:50:50,604
- Well, we don't have to
drop it if you don't want to.
1363
00:50:50,697 --> 00:50:51,772
- I'd like to see
your scorebook later.
1364
00:50:51,865 --> 00:50:53,532
How many times
has lindy [bleep] up
1365
00:50:53,626 --> 00:50:55,033
In knowing you for three weeks?
1366
00:50:55,053 --> 00:50:56,627
- It's not like that.
1367
00:50:56,721 --> 00:50:57,869
Things add up.
1368
00:50:57,889 --> 00:50:59,889
- If you let them.
1369
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,057
- Okay, let me put it
this way, then.
1370
00:51:01,208 --> 00:51:04,301
How do you know someone
is right for you?
1371
00:51:04,453 --> 00:51:05,728
- To me, we've already made
the commitment.
1372
00:51:05,879 --> 00:51:07,229
We're already married.
- Yeah.
1373
00:51:07,456 --> 00:51:08,806
- Now, we figure it out
and make it work.
1374
00:51:08,958 --> 00:51:11,809
If continually, just, like,
we're losing our happiness,
1375
00:51:11,903 --> 00:51:14,219
No one's learning, fine.
1376
00:51:14,238 --> 00:51:15,053
But there's no timeline
on that.
1377
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:16,463
- Right.
1378
00:51:16,482 --> 00:51:19,149
- If 90% of the time,
miguel is making me laugh.
1379
00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:20,392
He's making me feel supported.
1380
00:51:20,486 --> 00:51:22,303
He's making me feel sexy.
1381
00:51:22,321 --> 00:51:25,306
But there's 10% of miguel
that, like, I can't stand...
1382
00:51:25,399 --> 00:51:26,565
- Pisses you the [bleep] off.
1383
00:51:26,659 --> 00:51:28,642
- I'm not gonna give up 90%
1384
00:51:28,661 --> 00:51:30,327
Of a successful marriage...
- Yeah.
1385
00:51:30,479 --> 00:51:32,830
- In hopes
that I could find 91%.
1386
00:51:32,982 --> 00:51:34,148
Like, no, thank you.
1387
00:51:34,166 --> 00:51:37,501
I'm gonna work my ass off
for as long as I can
1388
00:51:37,653 --> 00:51:39,578
And as long as you'll let me
and have me.
1389
00:51:39,672 --> 00:51:41,488
- But that's--same,
but I will say,
1390
00:51:41,507 --> 00:51:42,414
If there were no feelings
involved...
1391
00:51:42,433 --> 00:51:44,158
- You'd be counting down
the days.
1392
00:51:44,176 --> 00:51:45,826
- I would be. I would be.
1393
00:51:45,845 --> 00:51:48,829
[dramatic music]
1394
00:51:48,848 --> 00:51:52,274
♪ ♪
1395
00:51:52,426 --> 00:51:57,187
- ♪ I know we said
we'd be forever-er-er ♪
1396
00:51:57,281 --> 00:52:01,784
♪ I know we made these
plans together-er-er ♪
1397
00:52:02,011 --> 00:52:04,695
♪ ♪
1398
00:52:04,789 --> 00:52:06,347
- Look at that smile.
1399
00:52:06,365 --> 00:52:08,440
- It's so pretty, babe.
1400
00:52:08,534 --> 00:52:10,517
- Welcome to our romantic date.
1401
00:52:10,611 --> 00:52:13,520
These are for you.
- Thank you.
1402
00:52:13,614 --> 00:52:15,372
- It's intimate,
but yet it's beautiful.
1403
00:52:15,466 --> 00:52:17,358
And it's too good to be true.
1404
00:52:17,451 --> 00:52:18,801
And I feel like
if she sees that
1405
00:52:18,952 --> 00:52:20,785
And she can be comfortable
and vulnerable around me,
1406
00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:23,622
Then my wife will
fall in love with me again.
1407
00:52:23,641 --> 00:52:26,049
There's a saying,
only time will tell,
1408
00:52:26,202 --> 00:52:28,369
You know, and I
genuinely believe that.
1409
00:52:28,387 --> 00:52:32,130
- So like, when you thought
you were getting married,
1410
00:52:32,150 --> 00:52:34,966
Like, even before this
process, how did you picture
1411
00:52:34,986 --> 00:52:37,728
Yourself, like, as a husband?
1412
00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:39,396
- I only pictured just,
like, being a great husband
1413
00:52:39,548 --> 00:52:40,472
And hoping to have
a great wife.
1414
00:52:40,566 --> 00:52:41,640
- What does that look like?
1415
00:52:41,734 --> 00:52:44,994
- Being a great listener,
being supportive.
1416
00:52:45,221 --> 00:52:47,070
- That's it?
1417
00:52:47,223 --> 00:52:50,057
- Yeah, I mean, I can
make up something, but--
1418
00:52:50,150 --> 00:52:50,833
- No, no, I'm just asking.
1419
00:52:51,060 --> 00:52:53,669
I'm curious.
1420
00:52:53,896 --> 00:52:55,171
But what's the difference
between having a partner,
1421
00:52:55,322 --> 00:52:57,506
Like, somebody that you're
dating to do that role with
1422
00:52:57,658 --> 00:52:59,491
And being, like,
actually married?
1423
00:52:59,585 --> 00:53:01,735
- Because actually--being
actually married, there's--
1424
00:53:01,828 --> 00:53:03,328
I mean, there's
not an easy out.
1425
00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:04,680
You can't just say,
hey, I'm done with this.
1426
00:53:04,907 --> 00:53:06,573
There's consequences to that,
you know what I'm saying?
1427
00:53:06,667 --> 00:53:07,499
Whereas you're just
dating somebody,
1428
00:53:07,593 --> 00:53:08,926
You can say, hey,
you know what,
1429
00:53:09,078 --> 00:53:10,835
I'm not gonna deal with this.
On to the next person.
1430
00:53:10,930 --> 00:53:13,764
That I mean, I personally
think that's the difference.
1431
00:53:13,916 --> 00:53:15,858
- Okay, another question.
1432
00:53:16,085 --> 00:53:17,100
So do you feel like,
at this point with us--
1433
00:53:17,253 --> 00:53:18,268
- Mm-hmm.
1434
00:53:18,362 --> 00:53:20,345
- If we weren't married,
we were just dating,
1435
00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:23,032
That you would still
be wanting to date me?
1436
00:53:24,427 --> 00:53:24,775
- I think so, yeah.
1437
00:53:24,927 --> 00:53:27,536
I think so.
1438
00:53:27,688 --> 00:53:30,264
I'm not like--for me,
even though,
1439
00:53:30,357 --> 00:53:31,765
You know,
dating is an easy out,
1440
00:53:31,858 --> 00:53:33,024
I've never been
the type of person
1441
00:53:33,118 --> 00:53:34,117
Where I'm like,
you know, I'm done.
1442
00:53:34,270 --> 00:53:35,527
Like, if my mind
is made up that I want
1443
00:53:35,621 --> 00:53:36,861
A future with you--
- mm-hmm.
1444
00:53:36,956 --> 00:53:39,106
- Then I'm gonna do
everything I can to do that,
1445
00:53:39,199 --> 00:53:41,291
Whether that's working on me,
you know,
1446
00:53:41,444 --> 00:53:42,367
And still building
a relationship with you.
1447
00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:43,535
That just--that's
just in my nature.
1448
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,295
So I can't really speak
for anybody else,
1449
00:53:45,448 --> 00:53:48,390
But for myself, you know,
that's the route I would take.
1450
00:53:48,617 --> 00:53:51,060
- Mm.
1451
00:53:51,211 --> 00:53:51,876
- What about you?
- What about me?
1452
00:53:51,896 --> 00:53:53,044
- Same question.
1453
00:53:53,064 --> 00:53:54,879
What is making you
stay committed?
1454
00:53:54,899 --> 00:53:56,899
Because you say
you're a runner,
1455
00:53:57,126 --> 00:53:58,459
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, I'm a track star.
1456
00:53:58,477 --> 00:53:59,476
- Yeah, you're a track star.
1457
00:53:59,570 --> 00:54:01,645
So if we weren't married
and we were going
1458
00:54:01,797 --> 00:54:03,797
Through the exact same issues
that we're going through now,
1459
00:54:03,816 --> 00:54:06,467
Would you stick around?
1460
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:07,801
- I can--no,
I don't think I would.
1461
00:54:07,820 --> 00:54:12,639
[tense music]
1462
00:54:12,733 --> 00:54:14,324
The newton thing
really got to me.
1463
00:54:14,477 --> 00:54:16,735
Newton started
to throw up blood,
1464
00:54:16,829 --> 00:54:18,754
And he's like, "oh, yeah,
he did that yesterday too."
1465
00:54:18,981 --> 00:54:20,547
Why didn't you tell me that,
justin?
1466
00:54:30,935 --> 00:54:34,661
- So in the dating scenario,
I would not allow someone to--
1467
00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:36,105
What seemed like a lie.
1468
00:54:36,256 --> 00:54:38,590
Like, because I think,
for me, it's like
1469
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:40,000
I accept people by face value.
1470
00:54:40,019 --> 00:54:42,169
Whatever you show me,
whoever you show me you are,
1471
00:54:42,262 --> 00:54:43,112
I'm going to believe you,
because I have
1472
00:54:43,263 --> 00:54:44,505
No other choice.
- Yeah.
1473
00:54:44,598 --> 00:54:46,448
- And for me, it's just like
if you're telling me
1474
00:54:46,675 --> 00:54:48,692
All these things and your
actions show otherwise,
1475
00:54:48,786 --> 00:54:51,436
What am I doing here?
1476
00:54:51,455 --> 00:54:53,030
And I think that's maybe
a reason why I haven't been
1477
00:54:53,182 --> 00:54:57,684
Married in the past because
it's just like I didn't have
1478
00:54:57,703 --> 00:55:00,037
That--that push in me,
that drive in me
1479
00:55:00,189 --> 00:55:02,798
To just be like, okay, give him
some time, work it out.
1480
00:55:03,025 --> 00:55:05,301
Like, I feel like
I'm putting in more effort
1481
00:55:05,528 --> 00:55:07,361
Because we are married,
and that's what
1482
00:55:07,454 --> 00:55:10,714
I needed because I do run.
1483
00:55:10,866 --> 00:55:13,700
So now, I'm seeing other things
that I might have never seen
1484
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,645
Because we were just dating.
1485
00:55:16,872 --> 00:55:19,556
I'm being real.
- No, I get it. I get it.
1486
00:55:19,650 --> 00:55:21,892
I mean, I'm just--
I'm trying to understand.
1487
00:55:21,986 --> 00:55:23,560
- You can't--some things
you won't be able to understand
1488
00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:24,878
Because you--
we don't relate in that way.
1489
00:55:24,971 --> 00:55:26,213
You said you're not the type
to get up and go.
1490
00:55:26,306 --> 00:55:27,489
- Yeah.
- You're not,
1491
00:55:27,716 --> 00:55:28,657
So you're not gonna be able
to relate to somebody
1492
00:55:28,884 --> 00:55:30,217
Who gets up and goes every
chance they get.
1493
00:55:30,235 --> 00:55:31,552
- [laughs] that's true.
- You know what I'm saying?
1494
00:55:31,645 --> 00:55:32,644
Like it's--
- that's a good point.
1495
00:55:32,663 --> 00:55:33,645
- It's not gonna make
a connection.
1496
00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:34,721
We'll be here all day.
1497
00:55:34,740 --> 00:55:35,831
You just won't get it
because you
1498
00:55:36,058 --> 00:55:37,407
Don't have that perspective.
- That's fine.
1499
00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:39,484
- Whereas somebody else, who
is just like, no, she right.
1500
00:55:39,578 --> 00:55:41,078
Get on.
Leave that man.
1501
00:55:41,172 --> 00:55:42,171
You know, like, it's--
1502
00:55:42,322 --> 00:55:42,987
Different perspective
is everything.
1503
00:55:43,007 --> 00:55:45,341
So it's like I don't--
1504
00:55:45,568 --> 00:55:47,734
I don't need you
to empathize with me.
1505
00:55:47,753 --> 00:55:48,902
I need you to sympathize.
1506
00:55:48,921 --> 00:55:49,845
I need you to not put yourself
in my shoes
1507
00:55:49,996 --> 00:55:51,421
'cause you won't be able
to fit them
1508
00:55:51,515 --> 00:55:53,515
Because you wouldn't do that
in those circumstances.
1509
00:55:53,742 --> 00:55:54,833
I just need you
to understand me.
1510
00:55:54,852 --> 00:55:57,077
Like, okay, that's her truth.
1511
00:55:57,096 --> 00:56:01,582
- ♪ silly of me to be a fool
because you ain't really ♪
1512
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:03,934
♪ love me
like you say you do ♪
1513
00:56:04,028 --> 00:56:05,694
♪ you ain't really love me
like you say you do ♪
1514
00:56:09,533 --> 00:56:11,925
- ♪ I got that honey ♪
1515
00:56:11,944 --> 00:56:13,518
♪ sugar and sweet ♪
1516
00:56:13,537 --> 00:56:15,929
♪ you know I got that honey ♪
1517
00:56:15,948 --> 00:56:17,039
♪ get loud ♪
1518
00:56:17,190 --> 00:56:18,189
♪ no, we don't care ♪
1519
00:56:18,209 --> 00:56:19,266
♪ so close ♪
1520
00:56:19,284 --> 00:56:20,209
♪ hey, we don't care ♪
1521
00:56:20,360 --> 00:56:21,210
♪ don't sprint ♪
1522
00:56:21,361 --> 00:56:22,786
♪ no, we double dare ♪
1523
00:56:22,938 --> 00:56:24,271
♪ celebrate,
both hands in the air ♪
1524
00:56:24,289 --> 00:56:26,456
♪ hey ♪
1525
00:56:26,609 --> 00:56:28,199
- Oh, hello.
- Hey.
1526
00:56:28,219 --> 00:56:28,884
How you doing?
- I'm good.
1527
00:56:29,035 --> 00:56:30,869
- Good.
- I'm tired.
1528
00:56:30,888 --> 00:56:31,720
- You ready for this?
- No.
1529
00:56:31,872 --> 00:56:33,371
- Look.
- Oh, what is this?
1530
00:56:33,391 --> 00:56:35,206
Korean barbecue thing?
- That's the korean barbecue.
1531
00:56:35,300 --> 00:56:36,708
- Damn.
- Yeah.
1532
00:56:36,802 --> 00:56:37,784
- Lychee martini or soju?
1533
00:56:37,803 --> 00:56:39,620
- Whatever you have.
I had the--
1534
00:56:39,638 --> 00:56:40,804
- We have both.
1535
00:56:40,956 --> 00:56:41,955
- I had the worst day
at work today, so like--
1536
00:56:42,048 --> 00:56:43,640
- Okay, so we'll do--
we'll bring both.
1537
00:56:43,792 --> 00:56:46,460
We'll bring both.
- Just bring both of them.
1538
00:56:46,478 --> 00:56:47,644
- Okay.
1539
00:56:47,796 --> 00:56:49,238
- This is nice.
- Yeah.
1540
00:56:49,465 --> 00:56:50,313
Yeah.
1541
00:56:50,408 --> 00:56:51,465
- Let's put it in there.
1542
00:56:51,558 --> 00:56:52,482
- We got all the premiums.
1543
00:56:52,576 --> 00:56:53,409
- That's actually
pretty comfortable.
1544
00:56:53,636 --> 00:56:53,892
- Remember when
you got premium?
1545
00:56:53,986 --> 00:56:54,818
- Yeah.
1546
00:56:54,970 --> 00:56:56,578
- We got all the premium meats.
1547
00:56:56,805 --> 00:56:57,654
- Okay.
1548
00:56:57,806 --> 00:57:00,398
- Oh, yeah, that's good.
1549
00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:02,734
- I mean, like, this is,
like, some professional stuff
1550
00:57:02,828 --> 00:57:04,068
You got going on.
1551
00:57:04,163 --> 00:57:05,921
- Oh, you know.
1552
00:57:06,148 --> 00:57:07,330
Back in the day,
they used to call me--
1553
00:57:07,483 --> 00:57:08,498
- Did they--what did they--
1554
00:57:08,651 --> 00:57:10,167
- Korean barbecue papi.
- Oh, did they?
1555
00:57:10,261 --> 00:57:11,485
[laughs]
1556
00:57:11,503 --> 00:57:12,669
- Like champagne papi
but korean barbecue.
1557
00:57:12,763 --> 00:57:15,580
- [laughs] I can't deal
with you right now.
1558
00:57:15,599 --> 00:57:17,157
I had a really bad day today.
1559
00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:18,767
You know what
the best part was?
1560
00:57:18,919 --> 00:57:21,753
I have an ethiopian coworker,
and she brought in
1561
00:57:21,847 --> 00:57:22,754
All of her home-cooked food.
1562
00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:24,831
[alarm blaring]
1563
00:57:24,925 --> 00:57:25,999
I don't think this
is gonna work.
1564
00:57:26,018 --> 00:57:27,834
- Of course. Of course.
1565
00:57:27,853 --> 00:57:29,111
Of course.
1566
00:57:29,338 --> 00:57:30,671
- Okay, we gotta open
the windows.
1567
00:57:30,764 --> 00:57:33,097
I kind of expected that,
though, where you're literally
1568
00:57:33,192 --> 00:57:35,617
Grilling meat indoors, so...
1569
00:57:35,769 --> 00:57:37,286
Hold on. It's okay.
1570
00:57:37,513 --> 00:57:41,031
We just gotta open
all the windows.
1571
00:57:41,125 --> 00:57:42,032
Open this one.
1572
00:57:42,184 --> 00:57:43,125
I'll open this one.
1573
00:57:43,276 --> 00:57:47,204
Hopefully, the neighbors
won't complain.
1574
00:57:47,298 --> 00:57:48,371
Oh, that's good.
1575
00:57:48,524 --> 00:57:50,040
- It's good?
- Mm-hmm.
1576
00:57:50,192 --> 00:57:53,043
- I really like
being vulnerable with you.
1577
00:57:53,137 --> 00:57:55,362
- No, I thought it was great,
you finally opening up.
1578
00:57:55,380 --> 00:57:57,622
- I would love to do it more.
- Mm-hmm.
1579
00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:58,882
- Do you have anything
to open up about,
1580
00:57:59,034 --> 00:58:02,293
Or do you want me to go again?
1581
00:58:02,387 --> 00:58:03,220
- I don't think--
1582
00:58:03,314 --> 00:58:04,313
I mean,
not that I can think of.
1583
00:58:04,540 --> 00:58:05,889
- Okay.
1584
00:58:06,041 --> 00:58:09,318
- I mean, unless you want
to, like, talk about something.
1585
00:58:09,469 --> 00:58:10,894
- You know how you always
call me people pleaser?
1586
00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,470
- Uh-huh.
1587
00:58:12,490 --> 00:58:14,064
- I wanted to go
in depth of why I
1588
00:58:14,216 --> 00:58:15,716
Think the root cause of it is.
1589
00:58:15,734 --> 00:58:17,551
- Okay.
1590
00:58:17,569 --> 00:58:19,978
- Basically, my parents
were immigrants,
1591
00:58:19,997 --> 00:58:21,830
So we lived in areas
where we could afford.
1592
00:58:21,982 --> 00:58:22,981
- Mm-hmm.
- And because of that,
1593
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:26,335
I was the only asian kid
on the block,
1594
00:58:26,486 --> 00:58:28,653
In the school, wherever.
- Mm-hmm.
1595
00:58:28,672 --> 00:58:30,063
- And with that came
a lot of, like,
1596
00:58:30,082 --> 00:58:31,489
Racist jokes.
- Mm-hmm.
1597
00:58:31,509 --> 00:58:32,657
- Doing, like,
the squinting thing...
1598
00:58:32,676 --> 00:58:33,734
- Mm-hmm.
- And things of that magnitude.
1599
00:58:33,752 --> 00:58:34,751
- Mm-hmm.
1600
00:58:34,845 --> 00:58:37,513
- So the only way
that I could combat that
1601
00:58:37,664 --> 00:58:41,165
Was to, one, overachieve
in school and things like that,
1602
00:58:41,260 --> 00:58:43,410
But also to be kind.
- Mm-hmm.
1603
00:58:43,428 --> 00:58:46,263
- And there's times
where I sacrifice my happiness.
1604
00:58:46,415 --> 00:58:47,764
- Yeah.
- And that's a struggle
1605
00:58:47,916 --> 00:58:49,691
For me to figure out.
1606
00:58:49,843 --> 00:58:51,585
- Yeah, I feel that.
1607
00:58:51,603 --> 00:58:53,529
I mean, I grew up
the same exact way...
1608
00:58:53,756 --> 00:58:56,089
- Mm-hmm.
- Being a people pleaser.
1609
00:58:56,182 --> 00:58:57,774
It took me a long time
to do this.
1610
00:58:57,926 --> 00:59:01,611
- What was the--
what was the breakthrough?
1611
00:59:01,764 --> 00:59:03,430
- Cutting my dad off.
1612
00:59:03,523 --> 00:59:05,374
- Mm-hmm.
- That was it.
1613
00:59:05,601 --> 00:59:07,025
All my life,
I was a people pleaser
1614
00:59:07,119 --> 00:59:07,709
Because I wanted to please him.
1615
00:59:07,936 --> 00:59:10,103
But I wasn't good enough.
1616
00:59:10,122 --> 00:59:13,623
No matter what I did,
no matter what my grades were,
1617
00:59:13,776 --> 00:59:16,868
No matter what sports he wanted
me to do, like, anything,
1618
00:59:16,962 --> 00:59:18,278
It was not good enough.
1619
00:59:18,371 --> 00:59:21,039
And it's such a shame
that the little child in me
1620
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:24,284
Thought that I had to change
for him.
1621
00:59:24,377 --> 00:59:25,710
And then finally,
I stood up for myself.
1622
00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:28,138
I was like, I'm done because
obviously, no matter what
1623
00:59:28,290 --> 00:59:30,381
I do, it's not good enough.
1624
00:59:30,401 --> 00:59:32,959
Well, then I just cut him off.
1625
00:59:33,053 --> 00:59:33,735
- Just out of your
own willpower?
1626
00:59:33,962 --> 00:59:35,053
- Mm-hmm.
1627
00:59:35,147 --> 00:59:36,387
And the little girl in me
would be very proud,
1628
00:59:36,481 --> 00:59:37,739
You know, my little child.
1629
00:59:37,966 --> 00:59:41,484
- Can I ask if
you have genuinely
1630
00:59:41,637 --> 00:59:43,061
Healed from everything?
1631
00:59:43,080 --> 00:59:45,063
- Oh, yeah.
- How did that happen?
1632
00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,973
- I just work on myself.
- Work on yourself?
1633
00:59:47,067 --> 00:59:48,083
- Mm-hmm. You need to speak
1634
00:59:48,310 --> 00:59:50,143
To the little child
inside of you and say,
1635
00:59:50,236 --> 00:59:51,478
It's okay that you
weren't good enough.
1636
00:59:51,496 --> 00:59:52,570
- Mm-hmm.
1637
00:59:52,590 --> 00:59:54,572
- You know,
because you are enough.
1638
00:59:54,592 --> 00:59:55,816
You need to take a step back
and look
1639
00:59:55,909 --> 00:59:58,668
At everything that you've
done with your life.
1640
00:59:58,821 --> 01:00:01,430
How can you not say you're not
proud of yourself, you know?
1641
01:00:01,581 --> 01:00:03,414
You have achieved a lot.
1642
01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:03,990
How is that not enough for you?
1643
01:00:04,084 --> 01:00:05,008
And it should be.
1644
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:07,769
You just have to start
loving yourself.
1645
01:00:07,996 --> 01:00:11,164
You have to start
accepting yourself.
1646
01:00:11,183 --> 01:00:12,274
That's it.
1647
01:00:12,501 --> 01:00:14,184
But it's hard because
you don't like yourself.
1648
01:00:14,336 --> 01:00:16,336
I didn't like myself.
1649
01:00:16,429 --> 01:00:19,448
For years, I hated myself.
1650
01:00:19,599 --> 01:00:20,690
Now, I don't care.
1651
01:00:20,843 --> 01:00:22,525
- That's honestly awesome.
- I don't care.
1652
01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:23,619
- I love that.
1653
01:00:23,770 --> 01:00:26,121
And I don't know
at what point in my life
1654
01:00:26,272 --> 01:00:28,457
That I'll get there, but I hope
to get there, for sure.
1655
01:00:28,608 --> 01:00:30,016
- You will.
I'll help you out.
1656
01:00:30,035 --> 01:00:31,034
It's okay.
1657
01:00:31,186 --> 01:00:34,037
- ♪ light my fire ♪
1658
01:00:34,189 --> 01:00:37,207
♪ hold me up, I wanna... ♪
1659
01:00:37,301 --> 01:00:41,136
♪ ♪
1660
01:00:41,363 --> 01:00:43,530
- ♪ oh, they smile
in your face ♪
1661
01:00:43,548 --> 01:00:44,698
♪ that what they do,
that what they do ♪
1662
01:00:44,791 --> 01:00:45,641
♪ that what they do ♪
1663
01:00:45,792 --> 01:00:47,200
♪ they may lie ♪
1664
01:00:47,219 --> 01:00:49,035
♪ it's okay,
that what they do ♪
1665
01:00:49,054 --> 01:00:50,387
♪ that what they do,
that what they do ♪
1666
01:00:50,539 --> 01:00:51,647
- You ready to go meet
the other couples?
1667
01:00:51,874 --> 01:00:52,797
- Yeah.
1668
01:00:52,891 --> 01:00:54,316
- See how everybody's doing?
1669
01:00:54,543 --> 01:00:55,299
- Yeah.
1670
01:00:55,319 --> 01:00:55,725
- Here. Come here real quick.
1671
01:00:55,819 --> 01:00:59,321
- What's up?
1672
01:00:59,472 --> 01:01:00,822
- I bought this for you.
1673
01:01:01,049 --> 01:01:01,990
- Wow.
1674
01:01:02,217 --> 01:01:04,551
- I think it would be nice
to wear today.
1675
01:01:04,569 --> 01:01:05,735
You want to wear it today?
1676
01:01:05,888 --> 01:01:07,496
- I will wear it today.
1677
01:01:07,723 --> 01:01:08,497
- I like your shirt.
- This shirt is awesome.
1678
01:01:08,648 --> 01:01:09,389
Thank you so much, yeah.
- Yeah?
1679
01:01:09,482 --> 01:01:10,573
- This is such a nice gift.
1680
01:01:10,726 --> 01:01:12,559
- You got me something to wear?
- Yeah.
1681
01:01:12,577 --> 01:01:15,729
♪ ♪
1682
01:01:15,747 --> 01:01:16,396
- Good job on the size.
1683
01:01:16,415 --> 01:01:18,173
Fits me really good.
1684
01:01:18,324 --> 01:01:20,083
- Does it?
- Yeah.
1685
01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:21,492
- Nice shirt.
1686
01:01:21,512 --> 01:01:22,827
- Thank you.
- It fits good.
1687
01:01:22,846 --> 01:01:23,845
- Yeah? It fits good?
- Yeah.
1688
01:01:23,997 --> 01:01:25,906
- Okay, yeah,
I'm glad I found that,
1689
01:01:25,924 --> 01:01:27,349
Because I thought
it would look good.
1690
01:01:27,576 --> 01:01:28,758
♪ ♪
1691
01:01:28,852 --> 01:01:31,094
- What?
1692
01:01:31,188 --> 01:01:35,098
- I really appreciate
you buying this for me.
1693
01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:36,841
I don't think
I'm gonna wear it, though.
1694
01:01:36,860 --> 01:01:38,418
- Why?
1695
01:01:38,437 --> 01:01:39,769
- It's just not something
I would wear.
1696
01:01:39,863 --> 01:01:42,605
♪ ♪
1697
01:01:42,700 --> 01:01:44,941
- Okay.
1698
01:01:45,093 --> 01:01:48,870
Why don't you,
for this one time,
1699
01:01:49,022 --> 01:01:51,540
Just trust me and wear it?
1700
01:01:51,691 --> 01:01:52,708
- Sorry, babe.
1701
01:01:52,859 --> 01:01:54,525
I don't really want
to wear this shirt.
1702
01:01:54,619 --> 01:01:55,769
- Are you serious?
1703
01:01:55,787 --> 01:01:56,937
- Yeah.
1704
01:01:56,955 --> 01:02:01,274
♪ ♪
1705
01:02:01,293 --> 01:02:02,718
- Can I talk to you
in the bathroom real quick?
1706
01:02:02,945 --> 01:02:04,052
- Sure.
1707
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:18,734
So if you don't wear it,
1708
01:02:18,961 --> 01:02:19,793
You'll be the only one
not in it.
1709
01:02:19,811 --> 01:02:21,403
It's fine if you don't want to.
1710
01:02:21,630 --> 01:02:23,463
- It's just--no,
there's no [bleep] way--
1711
01:02:23,482 --> 01:02:25,073
There's no chance in hell
1712
01:02:25,300 --> 01:02:26,649
Mitch would ever wear
this shirt,
1713
01:02:26,744 --> 01:02:27,801
I'm sorry.
1714
01:02:27,894 --> 01:02:30,061
Like, the [bleep]
little buttons and--
1715
01:02:30,080 --> 01:02:31,229
- The buttons?
1716
01:02:31,248 --> 01:02:33,206
- I'm sorry,
I'm not wearing this shirt.
1717
01:02:37,162 --> 01:02:37,902
- I guess we're waiting
for everyone else, right?
1718
01:02:37,996 --> 01:02:39,403
- Yeah.
- It's just us.
1719
01:02:39,498 --> 01:02:40,255
- I honestly thought we were
gonna be the last ones again
1720
01:02:40,406 --> 01:02:41,998
Like last time.
[laughter]
1721
01:02:42,150 --> 01:02:43,316
- Seriously last.
- And we're the first ones.
1722
01:02:43,335 --> 01:02:44,242
- To literally everything.
1723
01:02:44,261 --> 01:02:45,318
- Hi.
1724
01:02:45,337 --> 01:02:48,671
- Oh, hello.
1725
01:02:48,824 --> 01:02:53,935
- What is happening today, man?
1726
01:02:54,087 --> 01:02:56,087
- You guys look so cute.
1727
01:02:56,181 --> 01:02:57,272
- What, is this intentional,
or is this not intentional?
1728
01:02:57,423 --> 01:03:00,016
- Oh, wow.
1729
01:03:00,110 --> 01:03:01,092
[laughter]
1730
01:03:01,186 --> 01:03:03,019
- Okay, there's no--
1731
01:03:03,113 --> 01:03:04,337
There's no way.
1732
01:03:04,356 --> 01:03:06,615
Just--our wives
planned this [bleep], bro.
1733
01:03:06,842 --> 01:03:10,010
- I got mitch to agree
to wear the shirt,
1734
01:03:10,028 --> 01:03:12,028
Not without a disclaimer.
1735
01:03:12,180 --> 01:03:13,530
- I'm not gonna be wearing it
for long, sorry.
1736
01:03:13,624 --> 01:03:16,366
- He tells me that he'll
wear it for a little bit,
1737
01:03:16,518 --> 01:03:17,867
And then the shirt's
coming off.
1738
01:03:18,020 --> 01:03:21,445
- You guys look good.
[laughter]
1739
01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:24,282
- I'm now referring
it as shirtgate 2022.
1740
01:03:24,301 --> 01:03:24,966
- Ah!
1741
01:03:25,118 --> 01:03:25,525
Here comes another one.
1742
01:03:25,618 --> 01:03:29,304
- Hi, guys.
1743
01:03:29,455 --> 01:03:30,806
- He still hasn't noticed.
1744
01:03:30,957 --> 01:03:32,290
- How you doing, man?
1745
01:03:32,309 --> 01:03:33,366
- Oh.
1746
01:03:33,385 --> 01:03:35,051
[laughter]
1747
01:03:35,203 --> 01:03:37,646
It took me a second.
- Hi.
1748
01:03:37,873 --> 01:03:38,705
- Why do we all
have the same shirt?
1749
01:03:38,723 --> 01:03:39,722
[laughter]
1750
01:03:39,817 --> 01:03:40,874
What the hell
is happening right now?
1751
01:03:40,967 --> 01:03:42,818
- They planned this [bleep],
bro.
1752
01:03:43,045 --> 01:03:46,822
- They did this on purpose.
[laughs]
1753
01:03:46,973 --> 01:03:48,657
We definitely gotta get
you know what I'm saying?
1754
01:03:48,808 --> 01:03:49,658
I don't know what it is,
1755
01:03:49,885 --> 01:03:51,159
But we gotta get 'em back,
for sure.
1756
01:03:51,311 --> 01:03:52,810
- All right, I'm changing.
1757
01:03:52,830 --> 01:03:55,388
[laughs]
1758
01:03:55,407 --> 01:03:56,739
- Yeah, yeah, no.
1759
01:03:56,892 --> 01:03:58,166
- Mitch!
1760
01:03:58,318 --> 01:03:59,409
- Why did you change
your shirt?
1761
01:03:59,561 --> 01:04:00,651
- That's the better option?
1762
01:04:00,671 --> 01:04:02,062
- I was just getting
a little cold, you know?
1763
01:04:02,155 --> 01:04:03,229
- Oh.
- I'm just gonna leave it
1764
01:04:03,323 --> 01:04:04,673
At that.
- Lies, lies, lies.
1765
01:04:04,900 --> 01:04:06,466
- So why did you bring
another shirt?
1766
01:04:07,736 --> 01:04:08,918
- So it's gonna be a thing?
1767
01:04:09,071 --> 01:04:10,828
- This was a thing,
and you went and changed it.
1768
01:04:10,922 --> 01:04:11,921
- Speak your truth.
1769
01:04:12,074 --> 01:04:13,014
- You know, to me, it's--
1770
01:04:13,166 --> 01:04:14,349
I just look at it
a little differently.
1771
01:04:14,500 --> 01:04:16,910
I know it's not the way
most people look at it.
1772
01:04:16,928 --> 01:04:19,579
But I think when you buy
someone a physical thing,
1773
01:04:19,598 --> 01:04:21,505
It's kind of like you're
putting that on them.
1774
01:04:21,525 --> 01:04:22,840
And it's a responsibility
that they have to take on.
1775
01:04:22,860 --> 01:04:25,861
And it's not--
so I just try to say--
1776
01:04:26,088 --> 01:04:27,587
I don't really like
to buy people stuff
1777
01:04:27,606 --> 01:04:29,531
That they might not
want or didn't ask for,
1778
01:04:29,682 --> 01:04:30,848
You know what I mean?
1779
01:04:30,868 --> 01:04:32,367
It's just--to me, it's
kind of materialistic,
1780
01:04:32,518 --> 01:04:34,611
So we made a compromise
that okay,
1781
01:04:34,763 --> 01:04:36,279
I'd go with it, I'd wear it up.
1782
01:04:36,373 --> 01:04:37,947
And it was funny.
1783
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:39,265
I mean, okay.
1784
01:04:39,359 --> 01:04:40,617
- If I may respond.
- You may.
1785
01:04:40,769 --> 01:04:43,211
[laughter]
- um, I--I think
1786
01:04:43,438 --> 01:04:45,455
It's weird to not wear a shirt
your wife gets you.
1787
01:04:45,607 --> 01:04:47,457
And then, in order to get you
to wear the shirt,
1788
01:04:47,551 --> 01:04:49,867
I actually had to reveal
the surprise and say,
1789
01:04:49,887 --> 01:04:51,219
"you're going to be the only
guy not wearing a shirt
1790
01:04:51,446 --> 01:04:52,703
If you don't wear the shirt."
- oh.
1791
01:04:52,723 --> 01:04:54,205
- That's the only way
I got you to wear the shirt.
1792
01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:56,449
So it was a thing.
1793
01:04:56,468 --> 01:04:58,209
So it can't not be a thing
'cause it is a thing.
1794
01:04:58,303 --> 01:05:00,044
- Okay, fair enough.
1795
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:02,046
I mean, to be honest, it's
not even that big of a deal.
1796
01:05:02,065 --> 01:05:05,291
It's just like, I don't want
to be forced to do things,
1797
01:05:05,310 --> 01:05:06,309
You know what I mean?
Like, it just doesn't--
1798
01:05:06,403 --> 01:05:07,810
That's always rubbed me
the wrong way,
1799
01:05:07,963 --> 01:05:10,130
Like, my whole life,
and I've always felt
1800
01:05:10,148 --> 01:05:11,131
Like I've been forced
to do things.
1801
01:05:11,149 --> 01:05:13,133
So it was more triggering.
1802
01:05:13,226 --> 01:05:14,225
It was definitely
more triggering
1803
01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:15,744
Than she thought it would be.
1804
01:05:15,895 --> 01:05:17,804
And it was even more triggering
than I thought it would be.
1805
01:05:17,822 --> 01:05:18,488
- Hi.
- Hi, everybody.
1806
01:05:18,640 --> 01:05:21,157
Hello.
1807
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:22,642
I am dr. Pia.
1808
01:05:22,735 --> 01:05:23,993
Nice to meet all of you all.
1809
01:05:24,146 --> 01:05:25,645
- Dr. Pia.
- Dr. Pia.
1810
01:05:25,664 --> 01:05:26,646
- Wonderful.
- Okay.
1811
01:05:26,739 --> 01:05:28,815
- All right,
so I'm a psychologist.
1812
01:05:28,908 --> 01:05:30,091
I specialize in couples
and sex therapy.
1813
01:05:30,243 --> 01:05:33,319
And the experts have
brought me in today to help
1814
01:05:33,338 --> 01:05:34,745
Strengthen the relationship.
1815
01:05:34,765 --> 01:05:37,415
And I've been put up to speed
to everything that's been
1816
01:05:37,509 --> 01:05:38,841
Going on amongst y'all.
1817
01:05:38,936 --> 01:05:41,161
So we're gonna be doing
some pseudo group therapy work
1818
01:05:41,179 --> 01:05:42,328
Today, all right?
1819
01:05:42,347 --> 01:05:43,271
- Okay.
1820
01:05:43,423 --> 01:05:45,999
- Trust and intimacy
is the bedrock
1821
01:05:46,017 --> 01:05:47,850
Of any healthy relationship.
1822
01:05:47,945 --> 01:05:50,019
So we've brought in dr. Pia
because she's
1823
01:05:50,113 --> 01:05:53,523
An expert, as a clinical
psychologist, in that area.
1824
01:05:53,675 --> 01:05:55,692
And we believe she'll
be able to guide
1825
01:05:55,786 --> 01:05:58,102
Our couples
into a better understanding
1826
01:05:58,121 --> 01:05:59,454
Of vulnerability.
1827
01:05:59,605 --> 01:06:00,847
- We went to school.
We learned math.
1828
01:06:00,940 --> 01:06:02,273
We learned science.
We learned all these things.
1829
01:06:02,367 --> 01:06:03,683
We didn't learn about emotions.
1830
01:06:03,702 --> 01:06:05,518
We certainly didn't learn
how to talk about them.
1831
01:06:05,537 --> 01:06:07,036
But that's at the
core of facilitating
1832
01:06:07,189 --> 01:06:08,371
A great relationship.
- Mm.
1833
01:06:08,523 --> 01:06:10,799
- Okay.
- Okay?
1834
01:06:11,026 --> 01:06:12,859
And so you've got
these little emotion
1835
01:06:12,877 --> 01:06:14,469
Wheels on your table, okay?
1836
01:06:14,620 --> 01:06:15,637
A lot of times,
what we talk about
1837
01:06:15,864 --> 01:06:18,715
Are some of, like,
the primary emotions.
1838
01:06:18,809 --> 01:06:20,717
We all know what anger
looks like or, you know,
1839
01:06:20,811 --> 01:06:22,793
Happiness, excitement.
1840
01:06:22,887 --> 01:06:23,961
But a lot of times, when
we're saying that we're angry,
1841
01:06:23,981 --> 01:06:25,722
You know--
- it's a secondary emotion.
1842
01:06:25,874 --> 01:06:29,392
- It's a--ah, 100%,
it's a secondary emotion,
1843
01:06:29,544 --> 01:06:30,652
Oftentimes to hurt.
1844
01:06:30,803 --> 01:06:33,062
And I want you to share
what has it felt like
1845
01:06:33,156 --> 01:06:34,656
When you've been hurt?
1846
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:39,494
- You know, like, when I'm
hurt, I feel--you know,
1847
01:06:39,721 --> 01:06:41,237
I feel betrayed,
whether it's friendship,
1848
01:06:41,389 --> 01:06:42,163
Whether it's a relationship.
1849
01:06:42,390 --> 01:06:43,981
But I know how
to protect myself,
1850
01:06:44,075 --> 01:06:45,166
You know what I'm saying?
1851
01:06:45,318 --> 01:06:46,668
So it's almost like
my body has naturally
1852
01:06:46,895 --> 01:06:50,246
Shaped into, like, not
necessarily bullet--
1853
01:06:50,398 --> 01:06:52,749
Bulletproof, but close enough.
1854
01:06:52,843 --> 01:06:56,085
You know, I'm not cold,
but I can become cold.
1855
01:06:56,179 --> 01:06:58,254
And I don't--I don't really
know where it comes from.
1856
01:06:58,406 --> 01:06:59,347
- Mm-hmm.
- Maybe it's, like,
1857
01:06:59,499 --> 01:07:01,407
From my past or, you know,
1858
01:07:01,501 --> 01:07:02,925
The consistency of being hurt,
1859
01:07:03,020 --> 01:07:04,927
And then I've just developed
this tough skin
1860
01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:06,929
That like, hey, you know,
like, I'm prepared.
1861
01:07:07,082 --> 01:07:08,081
And maybe
I'm contradicting myself,
1862
01:07:08,174 --> 01:07:09,524
And I don't realize it.
- That's okay.
1863
01:07:09,675 --> 01:07:11,509
- But maybe that hurt
1864
01:07:11,528 --> 01:07:12,919
Is the reason
why I'm so protected.
1865
01:07:12,937 --> 01:07:14,270
- Sure.
- You know,
1866
01:07:14,422 --> 01:07:15,697
But also, like,
I'm not bringing,
1867
01:07:15,848 --> 01:07:20,535
Like, any of my past traumas
into my next relationship.
1868
01:07:20,762 --> 01:07:22,037
It's almost like
when you're a child
1869
01:07:22,188 --> 01:07:23,446
And over time, you just grow,
and your body develops.
1870
01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:24,706
- Mm-hmm.
1871
01:07:24,933 --> 01:07:26,541
- You know, and over
that time from being hurt,
1872
01:07:26,692 --> 01:07:27,934
It's just like,
all right, cool,
1873
01:07:28,027 --> 01:07:29,544
I ain't gonna let nobody else
hurt me, you know?
1874
01:07:29,695 --> 01:07:30,211
But I'm still gonna
be vulnerable,
1875
01:07:30,363 --> 01:07:31,287
If that makes sense.
1876
01:07:31,381 --> 01:07:32,939
- So right--
- it makes sense to me.
1877
01:07:32,957 --> 01:07:34,031
- So can I--
1878
01:07:34,051 --> 01:07:35,199
I'm gonna challenge you
a bit on that,
1879
01:07:35,218 --> 01:07:36,718
Because you said
you're not bringing
1880
01:07:36,869 --> 01:07:39,537
Your trauma into--past trauma
into the current relationship.
1881
01:07:39,631 --> 01:07:41,281
And what you just described
was you bringing your trauma
1882
01:07:41,299 --> 01:07:42,390
Into this relationship.
1883
01:07:42,542 --> 01:07:43,466
It's a trauma response, right?
- Yes, okay.
1884
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,451
- So here's the thing
about trauma,
1885
01:07:45,545 --> 01:07:47,044
We have something
bad happen to us.
1886
01:07:47,064 --> 01:07:48,638
We now become
hypervigilant, right?
1887
01:07:48,790 --> 01:07:50,790
Anything that looks,
smells remotely like what
1888
01:07:50,809 --> 01:07:51,900
Has happened in our past,
we're like, oh, hell no,
1889
01:07:52,051 --> 01:07:53,142
Let me back away
from that, right?
1890
01:07:53,236 --> 01:07:54,460
You've got that armor up
because you damn sure
1891
01:07:54,554 --> 01:07:55,478
Not gonna want
to do that again.
1892
01:07:55,630 --> 01:07:56,404
- Okay, all right,
stop right there.
1893
01:07:56,631 --> 01:07:57,739
I hear you. I hear you.
- Okay.
1894
01:07:57,890 --> 01:07:59,574
- But I guess the--
what I'm trying to get you
1895
01:07:59,801 --> 01:08:00,891
To understand
is that it doesn't stop me
1896
01:08:00,911 --> 01:08:02,226
From being vulnerable.
1897
01:08:02,245 --> 01:08:03,894
It doesn't stop me
from being open
1898
01:08:03,914 --> 01:08:05,138
'cause I'm not afraid
of being hurt.
1899
01:08:05,156 --> 01:08:06,247
I'm not at all.
1900
01:08:06,399 --> 01:08:07,398
- Alexis, do you buy that?
1901
01:08:07,417 --> 01:08:08,416
- No.
1902
01:08:08,568 --> 01:08:09,584
- Okay, tell us why.
1903
01:08:09,735 --> 01:08:11,252
- But she also doesn't
know me that well,
1904
01:08:11,404 --> 01:08:12,253
You know what I'm saying?
She only knows--
1905
01:08:12,405 --> 01:08:13,479
- So now I don't know you?
1906
01:08:13,498 --> 01:08:14,738
- Well, no time
like the present, right?
1907
01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:17,575
So, alexis, can you share
why you don't buy it?
1908
01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:18,651
- So you remember
that one time where
1909
01:08:18,744 --> 01:08:20,336
You were like, when
you're emotional,
1910
01:08:20,488 --> 01:08:22,097
You just say things?
- Go ahead, say it.
1911
01:08:22,324 --> 01:08:23,581
- I feel like this is one
of those moments.
1912
01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:24,766
- It's not one
of those moments.
1913
01:08:24,993 --> 01:08:26,159
Baby reads into a lot of stuff
and sometimes--
1914
01:08:26,177 --> 01:08:28,511
- Do I really?
So now you're speaking for me?
1915
01:08:28,605 --> 01:08:33,108
♪ ♪
1916
01:08:33,335 --> 01:08:34,684
- I feel completely
misunderstood.
1917
01:08:34,836 --> 01:08:36,778
And it's frustrating because
I feel like it's exhausting.
1918
01:08:36,929 --> 01:08:38,671
[bleep] frustrating.
1919
01:08:38,690 --> 01:08:39,856
It's exhausting, trying
to get you to understand.
1920
01:08:40,008 --> 01:08:42,024
Like, that's why I shut down,
1921
01:08:42,119 --> 01:08:43,434
Because it's like,
you not gonna understand me,
1922
01:08:43,528 --> 01:08:45,603
Even if I try to break it down
like a third-grader.
1923
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:46,863
It's like, oh, okay, you know?
1924
01:08:46,957 --> 01:08:49,682
I'm--one, I'm not good at
explaining myself anyway.
1925
01:08:49,701 --> 01:08:52,368
And two, if I have to
constantly go in circle three
1926
01:08:52,462 --> 01:08:53,777
Different times and
you still don't get it,
1927
01:08:53,797 --> 01:08:54,704
I'm like, [bleep] it.
It makes sense in my head.
1928
01:08:54,798 --> 01:08:57,707
[dramatic music]
1929
01:08:57,859 --> 01:09:01,469
♪ ♪
1930
01:09:05,216 --> 01:09:06,307
[tense music]
1931
01:09:06,534 --> 01:09:07,458
- I shut down
because it's like you're not
1932
01:09:07,477 --> 01:09:09,144
Gonna understand me,
even if I try to
1933
01:09:09,371 --> 01:09:11,204
Break it down
like a third-grader.
1934
01:09:11,297 --> 01:09:12,796
It's like, oh, okay, you know?
1935
01:09:12,816 --> 01:09:14,891
If I have to constantly go in
a circle three different times
1936
01:09:14,985 --> 01:09:16,151
And you still don't get it,
I'm like, okay,
1937
01:09:16,302 --> 01:09:18,969
It makes sense in my head.
1938
01:09:18,989 --> 01:09:20,822
- But I feel like that's a--
it brings up a controversy
1939
01:09:20,973 --> 01:09:22,991
In our relationship because
I respect what you're saying,
1940
01:09:23,218 --> 01:09:24,384
And I want to understand you
because it's not
1941
01:09:24,402 --> 01:09:25,885
About being right or wrong.
1942
01:09:25,978 --> 01:09:28,404
It's about understanding you,
because if I understand you,
1943
01:09:28,498 --> 01:09:29,998
I know how your characteristics
are gonna carry on
1944
01:09:30,149 --> 01:09:31,908
For many other situations.
1945
01:09:32,060 --> 01:09:35,244
So I need to understand you.
1946
01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:38,155
♪ ♪
1947
01:09:38,175 --> 01:09:40,249
And when you give up on me
and when you shut down,
1948
01:09:40,402 --> 01:09:41,901
You're not helping me
help you, help us.
1949
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:43,753
- Ooh.
- And I hear that.
1950
01:09:43,905 --> 01:09:44,995
I hear that.
- Damn.
1951
01:09:45,089 --> 01:09:46,088
- But--
- I'm sorry.
1952
01:09:46,183 --> 01:09:48,257
[laughter]
1953
01:09:48,410 --> 01:09:49,517
- I love what you said, alexis.
1954
01:09:49,744 --> 01:09:51,260
But I also really hear you,
justin.
1955
01:09:51,413 --> 01:09:52,595
You--you need
to feel understood
1956
01:09:52,747 --> 01:09:53,746
Because if you don't,
that means
1957
01:09:53,765 --> 01:09:55,172
We don't feel safe, right?
1958
01:09:55,192 --> 01:09:56,524
'cause you're shutting down.
You're like, oh, screw it.
1959
01:09:56,676 --> 01:09:57,750
Like, I said this
a million times.
1960
01:09:57,769 --> 01:09:59,009
They're not gonna get it.
1961
01:09:59,029 --> 01:09:59,677
- Facts.
- Okay?
1962
01:09:59,771 --> 01:10:01,196
But here's the thing:
1963
01:10:01,347 --> 01:10:03,013
You do that,
it's gonna come up again
1964
01:10:03,033 --> 01:10:03,940
And again and again and again
1965
01:10:04,092 --> 01:10:05,942
Because it hasn't
been resolved.
1966
01:10:06,036 --> 01:10:08,536
We need to keep talking
until we are understood.
1967
01:10:08,688 --> 01:10:09,537
And you might get spent.
1968
01:10:09,689 --> 01:10:10,930
It might be frustrating.
1969
01:10:10,949 --> 01:10:12,540
You might have to say,
"you know what? Time out.
1970
01:10:12,692 --> 01:10:14,024
We'll revisit this
another time."
1971
01:10:14,044 --> 01:10:15,526
And let's set a date
and time and then
1972
01:10:15,620 --> 01:10:16,694
Revisit the conversation.
1973
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:18,529
- I can agree to do that.
- I like that.
1974
01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:19,714
- But just be honest
with each other.
1975
01:10:19,941 --> 01:10:22,032
Like, if you need
it, say it, please.
1976
01:10:22,126 --> 01:10:23,960
- Good. All right.
1977
01:10:24,054 --> 01:10:25,962
So, mitch and krysten,
what's--what's coming up
1978
01:10:26,114 --> 01:10:29,949
For you guys' relationship
with the emotions?
1979
01:10:29,968 --> 01:10:32,969
- I'm giggling to myself
looking at the wheel and just
1980
01:10:33,063 --> 01:10:36,898
Kind of living a little more
in the surprised area,
1981
01:10:37,049 --> 01:10:38,808
Sometimes astonished.
1982
01:10:38,902 --> 01:10:41,310
I was astonished earlier today
during shirtgate 2022.
1983
01:10:41,463 --> 01:10:44,647
With the guys, we wanted
to do something fun
1984
01:10:44,799 --> 01:10:45,723
And get them all a shirt.
1985
01:10:45,742 --> 01:10:46,890
Mitch didn't want
to wear the shirt.
1986
01:10:46,985 --> 01:10:47,316
He wore the shirt.
1987
01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:48,301
Thank you.
1988
01:10:48,394 --> 01:10:51,137
- I temporarily wore the shirt.
1989
01:10:51,230 --> 01:10:52,805
- What is it about the shirt?
1990
01:10:52,824 --> 01:10:54,323
Was that a control thing?
1991
01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:56,400
- I don't really want
other people deciding
1992
01:10:56,419 --> 01:10:58,494
What I'm gonna wear
or what I need to have
1993
01:10:58,588 --> 01:10:59,645
Or what I need to own,
1994
01:10:59,664 --> 01:11:00,496
Especially
in a materialistic way.
1995
01:11:00,648 --> 01:11:02,482
I'm, like, an environmentalist.
1996
01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:04,092
Like, I'm a sustainability guy.
1997
01:11:04,243 --> 01:11:06,152
So like, I don't
really want [bleep].
1998
01:11:06,245 --> 01:11:07,262
I don't want anyone's [bleep].
1999
01:11:07,413 --> 01:11:08,412
Like, that's just me.
2000
01:11:08,431 --> 01:11:11,432
So that's the baggage
I'm bringing in,
2001
01:11:11,659 --> 01:11:13,509
And I'm fully
self-aware about it.
2002
01:11:13,661 --> 01:11:15,845
So yeah, the shirt thing just--
2003
01:11:15,997 --> 01:11:17,997
That's not what I want.
- Okay.
2004
01:11:18,016 --> 01:11:19,999
We could all argue,
like it's simple.
2005
01:11:20,018 --> 01:11:21,425
Just put on
the [bleep] shirt, right?
2006
01:11:21,444 --> 01:11:22,668
Like, you know,
like, there wouldn't
2007
01:11:22,687 --> 01:11:24,687
Have been an argument,
no big deal, right?
2008
01:11:24,781 --> 01:11:26,781
And I also understand wanting
to be true to yourself
2009
01:11:27,008 --> 01:11:27,949
And not wanting
to, like, say, well,
2010
01:11:28,176 --> 01:11:29,933
Then I'm signing up
to be disrespected.
2011
01:11:29,953 --> 01:11:31,953
So how do we compromise then?
2012
01:11:32,104 --> 01:11:34,196
Because we are in a union.
2013
01:11:34,291 --> 01:11:35,515
- There's a point where
if you compromise too much,
2014
01:11:35,533 --> 01:11:36,774
You're not being
true to yourself
2015
01:11:36,793 --> 01:11:38,851
And you're being a pushover,
and that's not me.
2016
01:11:38,870 --> 01:11:42,297
[tense music]
2017
01:11:42,524 --> 01:11:43,539
Because I've been there
in the past.
2018
01:11:43,691 --> 01:11:45,041
I've lost myself in the past.
2019
01:11:45,193 --> 01:11:47,969
♪ ♪
2020
01:11:48,196 --> 01:11:48,636
- Do you feel like
you're losing yourself
2021
01:11:48,863 --> 01:11:50,713
In the relationship?
2022
01:11:50,807 --> 01:11:53,457
- I do.
2023
01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:56,811
I do feel like sometimes
I'm getting a little
2024
01:11:57,038 --> 01:12:00,297
Lost in trying to please you
and maybe
2025
01:12:00,391 --> 01:12:02,817
Be a version of myself that I
think mitch would really like.
2026
01:12:02,968 --> 01:12:04,727
But sometimes I fall back.
2027
01:12:04,879 --> 01:12:06,637
I'm like, wait a second,
what am I doing here?
2028
01:12:06,731 --> 01:12:07,655
You know, I love--
2029
01:12:07,807 --> 01:12:08,806
I love nice things.
2030
01:12:08,825 --> 01:12:10,066
I worked hard
for these nice things.
2031
01:12:10,218 --> 01:12:13,219
And I--I don't know.
2032
01:12:13,237 --> 01:12:14,829
It is a struggle.
- Okay.
2033
01:12:14,980 --> 01:12:16,055
So part of the struggle,
it sounds
2034
01:12:16,074 --> 01:12:17,832
Like there's a disconnect.
2035
01:12:17,983 --> 01:12:20,393
In order to validate,
you don't have to agree, right?
2036
01:12:20,411 --> 01:12:22,653
There's just, like,
this level of understanding
2037
01:12:22,672 --> 01:12:24,005
Because you gotta take mitch,
and you gotta take krysten.
2038
01:12:24,232 --> 01:12:25,414
Y'all were, you know,
individual people.
2039
01:12:25,567 --> 01:12:27,066
But how do you come together
as a union?
2040
01:12:27,159 --> 01:12:29,235
What balance needs
to take place?
2041
01:12:29,253 --> 01:12:31,512
- Yeah.
2042
01:12:31,739 --> 01:12:33,923
- I want to move on
to morgan and binh.
2043
01:12:34,017 --> 01:12:36,759
What's--what's been going on
for you guys emotionally?
2044
01:12:36,853 --> 01:12:39,261
- It's been better because
the emotional stuff
2045
01:12:39,414 --> 01:12:40,188
Started off really bad.
2046
01:12:40,415 --> 01:12:41,597
It started off in the red,
right?
2047
01:12:41,749 --> 01:12:42,765
- Okay.
2048
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,600
- It started off humiliated,
disrespected,
2049
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:46,252
All the nasty things.
2050
01:12:46,270 --> 01:12:49,105
But I feel like we're getting
back into the yellow, right?
2051
01:12:49,257 --> 01:12:50,180
- Mm-hmm.
2052
01:12:50,274 --> 01:12:51,107
- Because like, we're--
2053
01:12:51,259 --> 01:12:52,850
We're opening up
with each other.
2054
01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:54,093
Like, we're having
fun with each other.
2055
01:12:54,112 --> 01:12:55,595
We're going and doing stuff
with each other.
2056
01:12:55,613 --> 01:12:58,614
So I feel like the emotions
were down, but, like, we're,
2057
01:12:58,766 --> 01:13:00,023
Like, back on the incline...
2058
01:13:00,043 --> 01:13:01,450
- Yeah.
- It kind of feels like.
2059
01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:03,953
- What do you think you both
need to see from one another
2060
01:13:04,105 --> 01:13:05,880
To strengthen the relationship?
2061
01:13:06,031 --> 01:13:08,791
- It's--it's the reminders
throughout the day that
2062
01:13:08,885 --> 01:13:11,944
You're thinking about me or,
you know, you see me and,
2063
01:13:12,037 --> 01:13:13,203
You know, like,
compliments too.
2064
01:13:13,223 --> 01:13:15,114
Like, he's not a very,
like, compliment person.
2065
01:13:15,133 --> 01:13:16,632
He's not like, oh, wow,
you look really good today.
2066
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:17,800
He's just kind of like--
2067
01:13:17,894 --> 01:13:18,726
- I said you look drippy today.
- Yeah.
2068
01:13:18,953 --> 01:13:20,561
- Icy--icy too.
- That's nice.
2069
01:13:20,713 --> 01:13:21,787
- Icy.
- Yes, thank you.
2070
01:13:21,806 --> 01:13:24,214
I love being called icy
by my husband.
2071
01:13:24,308 --> 01:13:25,474
That's super great.
2072
01:13:25,627 --> 01:13:26,401
- So what--hold on, hold on.
2073
01:13:26,552 --> 01:13:27,960
What just came up there,
morgan?
2074
01:13:27,979 --> 01:13:30,479
- It's not--it's a good thing,
but it's not like--
2075
01:13:30,632 --> 01:13:31,647
It's not, like, romantic.
- Okay.
2076
01:13:31,799 --> 01:13:32,723
- You know, I don't--
I don't like that.
2077
01:13:32,742 --> 01:13:33,983
- That's fair.
2078
01:13:34,077 --> 01:13:35,243
- What do you like?
- I can work on that, yeah.
2079
01:13:35,394 --> 01:13:37,412
- You know, like,
"you look beautiful today."
2080
01:13:37,563 --> 01:13:38,487
Something.
- Mm-hmm.
2081
01:13:38,640 --> 01:13:40,489
- Like make me feel
like a woman.
2082
01:13:40,642 --> 01:13:41,824
- Okay.
- I'm not your bro.
2083
01:13:41,976 --> 01:13:43,643
I'm your wife, you know?
- So it's the word choice.
2084
01:13:43,736 --> 01:13:44,568
- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's the word choice.
2085
01:13:44,662 --> 01:13:45,569
- Okay.
- Okay.
2086
01:13:45,663 --> 01:13:47,088
- Yeah.
- Okay.
2087
01:13:47,315 --> 01:13:48,923
- Thank you for sharing.
- Yeah.
2088
01:13:49,074 --> 01:13:50,258
Good.
- Thank you for listening.
2089
01:13:50,409 --> 01:13:52,576
- All right,
what about this side here?
2090
01:13:52,670 --> 01:13:55,412
What's coming up emotionally
with our other two couples?
2091
01:13:55,432 --> 01:13:57,598
- Okay, so this
is what I wanted to say.
2092
01:13:57,825 --> 01:13:59,600
- Okay.
- I was talking to the girls
2093
01:13:59,752 --> 01:14:02,753
About how I want miguel
to see my crazy side.
2094
01:14:02,772 --> 01:14:05,998
And like, he hasn't yet
because it hasn't come out.
2095
01:14:06,017 --> 01:14:07,758
- What are we talking about?
2096
01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:10,169
- The par--like,
me being overly emotional
2097
01:14:10,262 --> 01:14:11,687
And just saying
whatever's on my head.
2098
01:14:11,839 --> 01:14:13,339
- That comes from baggage
or trauma, past...
2099
01:14:13,432 --> 01:14:14,857
- That comes from, like,
an inner--
2100
01:14:15,009 --> 01:14:15,783
An angry inner child...
- Okay.
2101
01:14:16,010 --> 01:14:16,842
- That's just like,
[bleep] you,
2102
01:14:16,861 --> 01:14:18,844
La, la, la, and she goes crazy.
2103
01:14:18,863 --> 01:14:20,029
- I got a taste of it.
- He got, like, a little--
2104
01:14:20,181 --> 01:14:21,271
- And I immediately
shut that [bleep] down.
2105
01:14:21,291 --> 01:14:22,957
I was like, I do not--
I do not like this.
2106
01:14:23,108 --> 01:14:24,107
- And that's the thing
is, like,
2107
01:14:24,127 --> 01:14:26,109
Because I have so much
respect for you,
2108
01:14:26,129 --> 01:14:28,129
I feel like even when I want
to go there, you're gonna,
2109
01:14:28,280 --> 01:14:29,522
Like, help reel me in.
2110
01:14:29,615 --> 01:14:31,782
So I don't know.
- I'll try, but--
2111
01:14:31,876 --> 01:14:33,209
- And we'll see.
- Right.
2112
01:14:33,361 --> 01:14:36,045
- Lindy, do you feel like
you're holding back at all?
2113
01:14:36,139 --> 01:14:38,214
- Um...
2114
01:14:38,366 --> 01:14:40,791
The holding back comes
from a place of respect.
2115
01:14:40,810 --> 01:14:41,867
I like--
- but you feel like
2116
01:14:41,886 --> 01:14:43,536
You are holding back?
- Oh, yeah,
2117
01:14:43,554 --> 01:14:44,461
But it's because I respect you.
- Really?
2118
01:14:44,481 --> 01:14:47,297
- So I want to ask a question.
2119
01:14:47,317 --> 01:14:49,817
When you said
because you respect him--
2120
01:14:49,969 --> 01:14:51,319
I heard earlier
that you feel like
2121
01:14:51,546 --> 01:14:52,636
You sometimes have
outbursts, and you said,
2122
01:14:52,730 --> 01:14:54,380
Like, you don't like that.
2123
01:14:54,398 --> 01:14:55,381
Is that part of the reason
that you feel like
2124
01:14:55,474 --> 01:14:56,491
You're holding back,
you're afraid
2125
01:14:56,642 --> 01:14:58,718
Of how he's gonna respond?
2126
01:14:58,736 --> 01:15:00,978
- I'm not sure.
2127
01:15:01,072 --> 01:15:03,889
It's kind of this weird spot
where I'm at where I'm like,
2128
01:15:03,983 --> 01:15:05,816
Does he need to see
me in that aspect?
2129
01:15:05,910 --> 01:15:07,818
And then will he
still choose me?
2130
01:15:07,912 --> 01:15:09,987
So I--that's where I'm at,
and we've had this discussion.
2131
01:15:10,081 --> 01:15:11,005
- That's a fair question.
2132
01:15:11,232 --> 01:15:12,414
Yeah, that's a fair
question, yeah.
2133
01:15:12,567 --> 01:15:14,175
- So for you, there has
to be a space where you
2134
01:15:14,326 --> 01:15:16,344
Can be your authentic self?
- Yes.
2135
01:15:16,495 --> 01:15:17,903
- Where you can trust him?
2136
01:15:17,997 --> 01:15:21,164
- Like, at this time, I think
the thing we need is time.
2137
01:15:21,259 --> 01:15:23,592
- Okay.
- Yeah.
2138
01:15:23,686 --> 01:15:24,927
♪ ♪
2139
01:15:25,079 --> 01:15:27,413
- So what came up for you all?
2140
01:15:27,506 --> 01:15:30,173
What have we been feeling
in our marriage?
2141
01:15:30,193 --> 01:15:35,512
- I would say lonely,
vulnerable,
2142
01:15:35,606 --> 01:15:41,035
Isolated, abandoned, sad.
2143
01:15:41,262 --> 01:15:43,763
- Mm.
2144
01:15:43,856 --> 01:15:45,522
- I came into the
process kind of, like,
2145
01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:48,191
All-in, giving everything,
kind of showing
2146
01:15:48,211 --> 01:15:49,359
Everything very quickly.
2147
01:15:49,453 --> 01:15:51,937
And I feel like I'm
being very vulnerable.
2148
01:15:51,956 --> 01:15:56,959
But I also feel like
he doesn't match me.
2149
01:15:57,053 --> 01:15:58,035
- That's her opinion.
2150
01:15:58,129 --> 01:16:00,446
And I'm doing things
2151
01:16:00,464 --> 01:16:04,116
That are actionable steps
to showing my wife, stacia,
2152
01:16:04,135 --> 01:16:07,395
That I'm trying, and I'm,
you know, getting deeper.
2153
01:16:07,546 --> 01:16:11,065
For example, I've always wanted
to sign up for therapy.
2154
01:16:11,292 --> 01:16:12,733
So I'm like, all right,
[bleep] it.
2155
01:16:12,885 --> 01:16:14,402
I'm about to pull the trigger
and, like, sign up for therapy,
2156
01:16:14,553 --> 01:16:15,461
You know what I mean?
- Good.
2157
01:16:15,479 --> 01:16:16,812
- And those are
actionable steps
2158
01:16:16,964 --> 01:16:19,481
That I want to show my wife
that I'm truly into this,
2159
01:16:19,634 --> 01:16:21,300
And I really want our--
2160
01:16:21,319 --> 01:16:22,743
Our relationship to grow.
2161
01:16:22,895 --> 01:16:26,229
And so--so
for that reason, I feel
2162
01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:30,142
That when it's just a hard no,
that I'm not trying,
2163
01:16:30,161 --> 01:16:33,479
It's frustrating.
- Mm-hmm.
2164
01:16:33,497 --> 01:16:35,906
- It's just like, what more
can I, like, prove to you
2165
01:16:36,000 --> 01:16:39,835
That, like, I'm all in?
2166
01:16:39,929 --> 01:16:44,098
I need you to understand me
when I say that stuff
2167
01:16:44,325 --> 01:16:47,493
Because if you continue
to not believe me
2168
01:16:47,511 --> 01:16:50,012
And have faith in me,
I'm gonna start giving up.
2169
01:16:50,164 --> 01:16:55,759
♪ ♪
2170
01:16:55,778 --> 01:16:57,519
And that's all I need to say,
I mean,
2171
01:16:57,672 --> 01:17:00,172
'cause that's why
I'm disappointed.
2172
01:17:00,191 --> 01:17:01,841
- Oh, gosh.
2173
01:17:01,859 --> 01:17:03,008
Does anybody have a tissue?
2174
01:17:03,027 --> 01:17:03,859
- I'm sorry.
2175
01:17:03,953 --> 01:17:05,027
I mean...
2176
01:17:05,179 --> 01:17:06,436
♪ ♪
2177
01:17:06,456 --> 01:17:11,016
- Like, I don't want him
to give up in the marriage.
2178
01:17:11,035 --> 01:17:14,703
- ♪ and I can't
shake this game ♪
2179
01:17:14,856 --> 01:17:18,540
♪ sitting here
playing with you ♪
2180
01:17:18,635 --> 01:17:21,302
- But then I also have to think
about how long
2181
01:17:21,529 --> 01:17:23,212
Am I gonna wait
for you to catch up?
2182
01:17:23,306 --> 01:17:24,639
♪ ♪
2183
01:17:24,866 --> 01:17:28,701
- ♪ and do you feel
the same? ♪
2184
01:17:28,794 --> 01:17:33,055
♪ ever feel the same
as I do? ♪
2185
01:17:33,149 --> 01:17:35,057
♪ do you? ♪
2186
01:17:35,209 --> 01:17:37,893
♪ lessons in love ♪
2187
01:17:38,045 --> 01:17:38,319
♪ ♪
2188
01:17:42,216 --> 01:17:43,807
- ♪ is this right for me? ♪
2189
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,809
♪ I don't know what to do ♪
2190
01:17:45,828 --> 01:17:50,890
♪ is this right for me? ♪
2191
01:17:50,908 --> 01:17:54,076
- Obviously, you can tell
that I'm irritated.
2192
01:17:54,228 --> 01:17:56,228
There's definitely
a disconnect happening now
2193
01:17:56,247 --> 01:17:59,748
Because I think
people are realizing
2194
01:17:59,901 --> 01:18:01,324
That I am putting in effort.
2195
01:18:01,419 --> 01:18:03,469
It's not just me.
2196
01:18:06,574 --> 01:18:08,257
And it's just, like,
really disappointing
2197
01:18:08,351 --> 01:18:10,426
That the person
that I care about the most
2198
01:18:10,578 --> 01:18:13,245
Isn't recognizing that.
2199
01:18:13,264 --> 01:18:16,357
And that hurts my feelings.
2200
01:18:16,508 --> 01:18:20,177
You know, you told me in order
for you to trust somebody,
2201
01:18:20,271 --> 01:18:22,254
You needed to see action.
2202
01:18:22,347 --> 01:18:24,423
That was, like, one of
the most important things
2203
01:18:24,442 --> 01:18:27,609
I heard from you because it was
very, very important to you.
2204
01:18:27,704 --> 01:18:30,871
And I took it seriously.
2205
01:18:31,023 --> 01:18:33,115
And I don't want to feel
like I'm proving to you
2206
01:18:33,267 --> 01:18:36,618
That I'm putting in action.
2207
01:18:36,771 --> 01:18:39,362
You said that words
don't mean nothing.
2208
01:18:39,382 --> 01:18:42,124
So what am I supposed
to do if the actions
2209
01:18:42,276 --> 01:18:46,946
Don't mean anything, either?
2210
01:18:46,964 --> 01:18:50,616
- I hear everything
that you're saying.
2211
01:18:50,634 --> 01:18:56,622
And the reason why I said
everything that I said
2212
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:59,216
Was because it wasn't
just a group activity.
2213
01:18:59,235 --> 01:19:01,643
There was a therapist
in front of us.
2214
01:19:01,796 --> 01:19:03,720
So everything that I was saying
was just to give background
2215
01:19:03,740 --> 01:19:06,799
On what we've been
through in the week
2216
01:19:06,892 --> 01:19:09,468
For her to give us
her perspective.
2217
01:19:09,487 --> 01:19:12,321
- You didn't say, no, I felt.
You said, no, I feel.
2218
01:19:12,473 --> 01:19:16,566
That's a present-tense word.
2219
01:19:16,586 --> 01:19:18,827
So right now,
what I'm feeling is,
2220
01:19:18,980 --> 01:19:21,404
Like, you don't believe me.
2221
01:19:21,499 --> 01:19:25,092
And I told you in our marriage
that one of the most important
2222
01:19:25,244 --> 01:19:29,321
Things that I needed in my wife
was for you to believe in me.
2223
01:19:29,340 --> 01:19:31,098
- Mm-hmm.
2224
01:19:31,250 --> 01:19:33,325
- I'm getting to the
want to prove myself anymore.
2225
01:19:33,418 --> 01:19:35,177
I don't care if it's past
tense, present tense.
2226
01:19:35,329 --> 01:19:38,439
I'm telling you right now
that if you keep not believing
2227
01:19:38,590 --> 01:19:39,681
In what I'm trying to do
2228
01:19:39,776 --> 01:19:41,758
And you're not gonna believe
my actions, like,
2229
01:19:41,778 --> 01:19:44,761
It's just not gonna work out.
2230
01:19:44,781 --> 01:19:47,948
- I do think that
you're making effort.
2231
01:19:48,175 --> 01:19:50,692
I do think that you saying
that you want to move
2232
01:19:50,845 --> 01:19:53,103
To a different place with me,
2233
01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:55,864
You are committed
to going to therapy,
2234
01:19:56,017 --> 01:19:57,792
Those are all
actionable things.
2235
01:19:57,943 --> 01:19:59,126
- But what?
2236
01:19:59,278 --> 01:20:05,040
- Those are future things
that I think you'll do.
2237
01:20:05,192 --> 01:20:08,135
The thing that I think you can
do right now in this moment
2238
01:20:08,362 --> 01:20:10,787
And every day after
is the communication
2239
01:20:10,807 --> 01:20:14,867
And the vulnerability with me.
2240
01:20:14,960 --> 01:20:17,219
- But you're not patient
enough for me to actually
2241
01:20:17,371 --> 01:20:20,372
Grow and get deep with you.
2242
01:20:20,465 --> 01:20:22,966
That's what I think it is.
2243
01:20:23,060 --> 01:20:25,711
- I'm not saying
it's not enough.
2244
01:20:25,729 --> 01:20:26,728
That's what I think
you're not understanding.
2245
01:20:26,881 --> 01:20:28,972
- Well, that's how
it's coming off.
2246
01:20:28,991 --> 01:20:29,898
- I'm just saying that I want
2247
01:20:30,051 --> 01:20:32,234
An emotional connection
as well.
2248
01:20:32,328 --> 01:20:34,053
That's all I'm saying.
2249
01:20:34,071 --> 01:20:35,329
- Well, you got emotion now.
2250
01:20:35,480 --> 01:20:38,390
You happy?
2251
01:20:38,409 --> 01:20:40,668
- No, because I feel like
it's, like, an attack.
2252
01:20:43,414 --> 01:20:45,064
I got married at first sight
because I thought
2253
01:20:45,082 --> 01:20:47,007
I was gonna have
this committed husband
2254
01:20:47,159 --> 01:20:49,326
Who knew exactly
what he wanted.
2255
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:51,679
I wanted to hit
the ground running.
2256
01:20:51,906 --> 01:20:56,408
So it's concerning
that he's getting so upset
2257
01:20:56,427 --> 01:20:58,853
Over something
that I don't see as big.
2258
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:01,021
I think, you know,
throughout the marriage,
2259
01:21:01,173 --> 01:21:04,692
We're gonna go through
bigger and greater issues.
2260
01:21:04,843 --> 01:21:09,512
And if this is how he's
reacting, it's scary.
2261
01:21:09,607 --> 01:21:11,198
We're always gonna have
conflict.
2262
01:21:11,350 --> 01:21:12,700
But you're basically saying,
like, I'm just gonna--
2263
01:21:12,851 --> 01:21:14,851
I'll be done.
2264
01:21:14,871 --> 01:21:18,764
That's--that's not
what a marriage is.
2265
01:21:18,782 --> 01:21:20,616
I didn't sign up for that.
2266
01:21:20,768 --> 01:21:21,709
- Right now, I don't
understand where you're
2267
01:21:21,936 --> 01:21:26,380
Coming from because
I don't believe you,
2268
01:21:26,607 --> 01:21:28,048
Because I feel like
it's just gonna happen
2269
01:21:28,200 --> 01:21:31,368
In the future again.
2270
01:21:31,387 --> 01:21:32,794
I don't think it's me anymore.
2271
01:21:32,947 --> 01:21:35,614
I think it's a you thing.
2272
01:21:35,633 --> 01:21:38,893
♪ ♪
2273
01:21:39,044 --> 01:21:40,377
- ♪ I don't want to ♪
2274
01:21:40,396 --> 01:21:43,564
♪ I don't want
to hurt anymore ♪
2275
01:21:59,990 --> 01:22:02,641
- Alexis came to me
woman to woman,
2276
01:22:02,660 --> 01:22:03,642
Friend to friend.
2277
01:22:03,661 --> 01:22:06,736
♪ ♪
2278
01:22:06,830 --> 01:22:10,315
- And essentially, binh has
been going behind my back
2279
01:22:10,409 --> 01:22:13,318
And telling lies about me
to other people.
2280
01:22:13,337 --> 01:22:14,836
♪ ♪
2281
01:22:14,989 --> 01:22:18,323
- Things are not good
right now.
2282
01:22:18,342 --> 01:22:21,827
I'll leave it up
to the imagination, but you--
2283
01:22:21,845 --> 01:22:24,846
I'm gonna have a lot to say
tomorrow to binh.
2284
01:22:24,941 --> 01:22:27,833
[dramatic music]
2285
01:22:27,851 --> 01:22:34,782
♪ ♪
2286
01:22:35,693 --> 01:22:36,933
- ♪ ah, ah ♪
2287
01:22:36,953 --> 01:22:40,287
- Next time
on "married at first sight"...
2288
01:22:40,439 --> 01:22:41,622
- Happy one month, babe.
2289
01:22:41,773 --> 01:22:44,774
- Our couples search
for ways to go deeper...
2290
01:22:44,794 --> 01:22:45,851
- Oh, my god.
- You are so dramatic.
2291
01:22:45,869 --> 01:22:48,687
- Perfect, honey!
2292
01:22:48,706 --> 01:22:50,447
- I love it.
- [grunting]
2293
01:22:50,541 --> 01:22:51,707
- Before they are faced
2294
01:22:51,859 --> 01:22:54,543
With the biggest decision
of their lives.
2295
01:22:54,695 --> 01:22:56,637
- I think we can both
find love, for sure.
2296
01:22:56,788 --> 01:22:57,879
- Here's a gift.
2297
01:22:58,032 --> 01:22:58,880
- Thanks.
2298
01:22:59,033 --> 01:23:01,533
♪ ♪
2299
01:23:01,626 --> 01:23:03,477
- When does krysten
get to do krysten?
2300
01:23:03,628 --> 01:23:04,961
I'm gonna snap soon.
2301
01:23:04,981 --> 01:23:06,371
I'm gonna snap.
2302
01:23:06,390 --> 01:23:09,208
- Behind my back, you were
talking [bleep] about me.
2303
01:23:09,226 --> 01:23:10,709
- I'm not talking [bleep].
- Talking [bleep],
2304
01:23:10,802 --> 01:23:13,320
And you are going to continue
to lie to my face
2305
01:23:13,472 --> 01:23:16,156
Until the [bleep] end.
2306
01:23:16,308 --> 01:23:17,140
- You're very emotional.
2307
01:23:17,234 --> 01:23:17,825
You call it passionate.
2308
01:23:17,976 --> 01:23:19,218
But I'm hurt.
2309
01:23:19,236 --> 01:23:21,478
And when you come back
and apologize
2310
01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:24,147
And you're like, "you know
what, you were right, babe,"
2311
01:23:24,166 --> 01:23:26,074
It still hurts.
2312
01:23:26,227 --> 01:23:27,226
- I understand.
- I need a break, babe.
2313
01:23:27,244 --> 01:23:32,089
♪ ♪