1 00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:04,251 {\an1}- Oh, my God, I’m so happy to finally meet you. 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:05,089 {\an1}- Me too. 3 00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:06,974 {\an1}- Ten singles took a leap 4 00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:09,679 {\an1}into the unknown in search of love. 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,050 {\an1}They married as complete strangers, 6 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,638 {\an1}and in less than a month, 7 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,563 {\an1}they will have to make the decision 8 00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:20,482 {\an1}whether they will stay married or get a divorce. 9 00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,652 {\an1}- ♪ Let’s make some waves ♪ 10 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,821 {\an1}- Last time, our couples celebrated 11 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:29,860 {\an1}their one-month anniversary. Stacia and Nate. 12 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,527 {\an1}- We’re in this forever, you know what I’m saying. 13 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:32,575 {\an1}all: Mm-hmm. 14 00:00:32,698 --> 00:00:34,409 {\an1}- I definitely am falling in love with you. 15 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,045 {\an1}And so I want my best friend next to me, 16 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,660 {\an1}and Stacia is definitely my best friend. 17 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:42,668 {\an1}- Aww. - That’s nice. 18 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,711 {\an1}- Lindy and Miguel. 19 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,425 {\an1}- I’ve been in relationships where I’ve been able 20 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,377 {\an1}to get away with murder and just like spew 21 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,625 {\an1}my [bleep], say whatever, and they’re gonna take it. 22 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,260 {\an1}It’s taking a lot of work on my end, 23 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,467 {\an1}but he’s more than worth it, so... 24 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:56,557 {\an1}- Aww. - Yeah. 25 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,430 {\an1}- Krysten and Mitch. 26 00:00:58,517 --> 00:01:01,977 {\an1}- When does Krysten stop compromising and not, 27 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,444 {\an1}oh, I don’t wanna put pressure on Mitch. 28 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:07,733 {\an1}Oh, I--I gotta make sure I do this and do this. 29 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,278 {\an1}I’m gonna snap soon. - Yeah. 30 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:11,361 {\an1}- I’m gonna snap. 31 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,486 {\an1}- Alexis and Justin. 32 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,155 {\an1}- And when you come back and apologize and you’re like, 33 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,794 {\an1}"You know what? You were right, babe." 34 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,080 {\an1}It still hurts. 35 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,701 {\an1}- Did I do something is all I’m asking. 36 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,118 {\an1}I understand. - I need a break, babe. 37 00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:25,539 {\an1}[dramatic music] 38 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,837 {\an1}- Morgan and Binh. 39 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,133 {\an1}- Definitely talked to Justin behind your back. 40 00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:32,297 {\an1}- Behind my back, you were talking [bleep] about me. 41 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:33,804 {\an1}- Not talking [bleep]. - Talking [bleep]. 42 00:01:33,926 --> 00:01:34,717 {\an1}- No way, no. 43 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,683 {\an1}- Talking [bleep]. - That’s crazy. 44 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,515 {\an1}- And you thought you weren’t gonna get caught. 45 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,979 {\an1}♪ ♪ 46 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:45,150 {\an1}- ♪ I don’t think that we should be ♪ 47 00:01:45,229 --> 00:01:46,060 {\an1}- And tonight... 48 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,818 {\an1}- Take a little trip through my life. 49 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,231 {\an1}- Our couples will have the opportunity 50 00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:50,648 {\an1}to share their roots and build 51 00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:53,906 {\an1}an even stronger bond between themselves and their partners. 52 00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,279 {\an1}- So you was really just hustling. 53 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,115 {\an1}- Yeah. - You’re the best. 54 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,160 {\an1}- You’re the best too. 55 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,794 {\an1}- You’re gonna find a total babe 56 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:03,041 {\an1}that you’re gonna fall madly in love with. 57 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,545 {\an1}- Hey. 58 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,037 {\an1}♪ ♪ 59 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:10,089 {\an1}- Straight setup. - It’s about to go down. 60 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:12,922 {\an1}- I understand that she’s hurt, but I’m trying. 61 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,048 {\an1}- What’s up with the hostility? 62 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:17,256 {\an1}- As for the one person out of everyone here 63 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,676 {\an1}who should have had my back, it should have been my husband 64 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:20,716 {\an1}and he did not. 65 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:24,689 {\an1}- I really, really wanted to make him happy, 66 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,311 {\an1}and I lost a little bit of myself in that. 67 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,567 {\an1}And I--to be honest with you, I don’t wanna do it anymore. 68 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,901 {\an1}♪ ♪ 69 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,197 {\an1}- ♪ It’s all or nothing ♪ 70 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:37,071 {\an1}- This is "Married at First Sight." 71 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,079 {\an1}- ♪ There’s no other way ♪ 72 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,031 {\an1}♪ ♪ 73 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,579 {\an1}♪ It’s all or nothing ♪ 74 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,624 {\an1}[dramatic music] 75 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,537 {\an1}♪ ♪ 76 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:49,459 {\an1}- I don’t know. 77 00:02:49,543 --> 00:02:51,754 {\an1}I don’t know what happened tonight. 78 00:02:54,883 --> 00:03:01,893 {\an1}♪ ♪ 79 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,942 {\an1}Hey, there. - Hey, baby. 80 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:13,745 {\an1}- How you feeling? Okay. 81 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,949 {\an1}[soft dramatic music] 82 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:18,201 {\an1}- I don’t get how we got here 83 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,081 {\an1}in that quick of a moment of me just not having anything 84 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,951 {\an1}to say--to say, like, I don’t you see how 85 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:23,948 {\an1}that, like, in my perspective. 86 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,659 {\an1}- I get that, and I understand that. 87 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:29,918 {\an1}I thought in a moment that I was--I was [bleep] it up. 88 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,253 {\an1}Your body language looked like it shut down. 89 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,459 {\an1}- In what ways? 90 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,588 {\an1}- I--like, babe, you was just sitting there literally. 91 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,257 {\an1}- At a dinner, at a table-- - I’m just telling you 92 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,515 {\an1}- Sitting there? 93 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:40,934 {\an1}- I’m just telling you what I-- what I saw compared to 94 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,762 {\an1}what I see you that’s constantly always bu--bubbly, 95 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,559 {\an1}most of the time you’re majority 96 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,891 {\an1}you’re--you’re positive, you know what I’m saying? 97 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,136 {\an1}So when I see my wife sitting there, like, you got nothing 98 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,940 {\an1}to say, I’m like, "Oh, what?" 99 00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:52,821 {\an1}You don’t see how, like, how that can, like, 100 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,321 {\an1}throw me a curve--out what? 101 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,442 {\an1}- I do, I do, I do. 102 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,649 {\an1}- So that’s why I thought exactly what--I was like, 103 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,069 {\an1}"oh, [bleep]" You know what I’m saying? 104 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,616 {\an1}Maybe, maybe it’s not, I’m telling you 105 00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:01,949 {\an1}exactly what my thought processed. 106 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,615 {\an1}Maybe she don’t wanna say that, you know, like, or call me out 107 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,786 {\an1}or whatever, whatever it may be. 108 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,334 {\an1}And so that’s why I was just like, "Baby, 109 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,208 {\an1}are you sure you are okay?" 110 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:12,342 {\an1}And that’s why I kept whispering. 111 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,461 {\an1}- So, baby, going forward, can you say, "Hey, babe, 112 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,589 {\an1}"are you feeling isolated or alone? 113 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,343 {\an1}I’m trying to check on you and doing my part." 114 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,297 {\an1}Because when you’re saying, 115 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,644 {\an1}"Hey, how are you?" And you’re saying 116 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,601 {\an1}things like, "Hey, you sure you don’t wanna tell ’em 117 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,759 {\an1}about my progress," that doesn’t make it seem like 118 00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:25,928 {\an1}you’re trying to check on me. 119 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,676 {\an1}That makes it seem like you want me to tell them 120 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:28,849 {\an1}about your progress. 121 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,807 {\an1}- No, no, no, don’t say my. I said our progress. 122 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,106 {\an1}- Either way, baby, but it’s saying like, 123 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,149 {\an1}you want--that doesn’t seem like you’re checking on me. 124 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,194 {\an1}You get what I’m saying? - Yeah. 125 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,237 {\an1}- That’s what it felt like in that moment. 126 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:39,859 {\an1}And it’s not that I didn’t wanna do that, I just didn’t. 127 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:43,368 {\an1}I was chilling, and I don’t want it to be a big thing. 128 00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,332 {\an1}- It’s not. 129 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,832 {\an1}We’re talking about it right now. 130 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,832 {\an1}- Okay. 131 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,335 {\an1}Truce? - Cool. 132 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,207 {\an1}We hug it out? 133 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,675 {\an1}♪ ♪ 134 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,377 {\an1}[upbeat music] 135 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,337 {\an1}- ♪ You got the sweetest sides ♪ 136 00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,087 {\an1}♪ I like the way you see me ♪ 137 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,508 {\an1}♪ You’ll always keep me laughing ♪ 138 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,059 {\an1}♪ With you, it’s always easy ♪ 139 00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,983 {\an1}- Wash ’em dishes. - Wash ’em dishes. 140 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,901 {\an1}- After reaching their one-month milestone 141 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,941 {\an1}in their marriages, our couples are 142 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,823 {\an1}settling into their everyday lives together. 143 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,570 {\an1}- You’re always so cute. 144 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:23,243 {\an1}- We are doing some Korean barbecue. 145 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:26,085 {\an1}- Pork belly. - [laughs] 146 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,081 {\an1}- As experts, we can give all the advice 147 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,084 {\an1}in the world to our married couples, 148 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,416 {\an1}but ultimately, it’s up to them to dig in 149 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,383 {\an1}to find out what they really need to know 150 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,713 {\an1}to feel good about making the decision 151 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,759 {\an1}to stay married or get a divorce. 152 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:48,773 {\an1}♪ ♪ 153 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,060 {\an1}- Hi. - Oh, wow. 154 00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:53,604 {\an1}- Oh, my gosh. - Hello. 155 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,558 {\an1}- It’s so good to see you. - I’m here. 156 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,399 {\an1}- Yo, hi. - There he is. 157 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,693 {\an1}- Hi. - How are you? 158 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,736 {\an1}- What’s up, Binh? - How are you doing? 159 00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,411 {\an1}- Good. 160 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,699 {\an1}- Morgan, tell us what’s going on. 161 00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:10,584 {\an1}- We’ve missed you. - Yeah. 162 00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,462 {\an1}- Yes, Alexis and I met up and hung out. 163 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,711 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 164 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,420 {\an1}- You know, cause I’m like, I feel like Binh is lying. 165 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,422 {\an1}- Oh. 166 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,255 {\an1}- I feel like he’s lying about something. 167 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,130 {\an1}I feel like he’s going behind my back like, 168 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,587 {\an1}something’s going on, and I just don’t know. 169 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,256 {\an1}- I mean, long story short, 170 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:28,684 {\an1}I’ve been talking to Justin behind her back 171 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,813 {\an1}and lying to her face about it, 172 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,731 {\an1}but it’s tough for me because, like, in the moment 173 00:06:32,808 --> 00:06:34,939 {\an1}when we argue, it’s like, I can’t get a word in, 174 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,021 {\an1}’cause she’s so strong, 175 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,444 {\an1}and then when I do, when I get frustrated-- 176 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,484 {\an1}- Right. 177 00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:39,437 {\an1}- I say the wrong thing, 178 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,654 {\an1}and she doesn’t-- she’s not forgiving. 179 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:42,646 {\an1}Like it--it’s tough. 180 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,447 {\an1}So, like, I try to really watch what I say, 181 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,321 {\an1}which is almost for me... - Yeah. 182 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,118 {\an1}- It’s worse because then I hold it in. 183 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,119 {\an1}- Right, no you don’t want-- 184 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,542 {\an1}- And then it becomes a ticking time bomb. 185 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,249 {\an1}I really--I really felt like I had no one to talk to. 186 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,580 {\an1}And so like I-- I made--I definitely 187 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,865 {\an1}went behind her back. 188 00:06:56,957 --> 00:06:59,338 {\an1}- Here’s the thing, like--like, the fact that you’re gonna 189 00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,421 {\an1}talk to your friends about your experience 190 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:05,684 {\an1}being married to a stranger, that’s [bleep] normal, dude. 191 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,090 {\an1}Like, she shouldn’t be, you know, 192 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:11,558 {\an1}like, she--if she can’t deal with that, that’s her [bleep]. 193 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,180 {\an1}- I know he lied, and that’s no excuse, 194 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,979 {\an1}I’m not making excuses for him, but it ain’t like 195 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,192 {\an1}bruh cheated or something. 196 00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,233 {\an1}I personally don’t think Morgan 197 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:20,404 {\an1}was ready to be married, 198 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:22,532 {\an1}I think Morgan was looking more for somebody 199 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,611 {\an1}to listen to her and watch her vent, 200 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,695 {\an1}but she didn’t really wanna reciprocate it, you know? 201 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:30,322 {\an1}I feel like it’s just all about her. 202 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,740 {\an1}I don’t think she ready for marriage, in my opinion. 203 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:34,696 {\an1}- When everything went down on the honeymoon and I’m like, 204 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,829 {\an1}you do realize that, like, I took you back 205 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,505 {\an1}the first time after you lied to me, backstabbed me, 206 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,714 {\an1}and everything. - Mm-hmm. 207 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,165 {\an1}- And that was huge. - Yeah. 208 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,883 {\an1}- Like, that was-- I don’t do that. 209 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,795 {\an1}So to find out you’re still doing it 210 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:50,053 {\an1}after you knew how I felt, I was like, 211 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,558 {\an1}"All you had to do was just come and talk to me." 212 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,271 {\an1}I’m like, you-- it’s always been about you, 213 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,429 {\an1}Binh, this entire time. 214 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,348 {\an1}The reason why you lied to me the first time 215 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,016 {\an1}was to save face for you. 216 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,056 {\an1}And you keep lying ’cause you keep trying 217 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,980 {\an1}to save face, and you keep trying to validate yourself 218 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,937 {\an1}with other people with me, and you just give people 219 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,068 {\an1}the best version of yourself, 220 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,736 {\an1}but that version changes between each person. 221 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,445 {\an1}So I don’t know who you are. 222 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,754 {\an1}- Binh is in a different place in his life. 223 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,250 {\an1}He’s figuring out himself 224 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,423 {\an1}and what he needs, and that’s just 225 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,542 {\an1}not the place you wanna be in 226 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,536 {\an1}when you’re starting a marriage with a stranger. 227 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:26,048 {\an1}I don’t--I don’t know what else to say that, like, 228 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,762 {\an1}figure it out, bro, like. 229 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,553 {\an1}- So we’re separated. - Oh, geez. 230 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,796 {\an1}- Oh, wow. - I’m sorry. 231 00:08:32,886 --> 00:08:34,506 {\an1}- I moved out. 232 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,017 {\an1}- I’m so sorry to hear that, Morgan. 233 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:37,269 {\an1}- Is he fighting for it? 234 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,022 {\an1}Or is he just like, "Okay, that’s what you want, okay." 235 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:39,942 {\an1}- I couldn’t tell you. 236 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,561 {\an1}- So he’s not reaching out to you? 237 00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:42,726 {\an1}- No. - He’s not doing anything. 238 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:43,765 {\an1}- Not talking. 239 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,438 {\an1}- No, mm-mm, nothing. 240 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,687 {\an1}It’s been to radio silence. 241 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,697 {\an1}- I mean, we gotta talk to Dr. Pepper 242 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,450 {\an1}to--together tomorrow. 243 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,414 {\an1}- Hmm, so, like, if you guys see Dr. Pepper, and Morgan 244 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,955 {\an1}starts to maybe see that, like, 245 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,080 {\an1}she’s tripping, do you think, like, 246 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:01,005 {\an1}that maybe she starts to see 247 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,882 {\an1}that she might be unfair to you, like, 248 00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:05,419 {\an1}and she’s willing to work on herself. 249 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,255 {\an1}If she gives you some grace, like, 250 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,918 {\an1}you know what I mean, for lack of a word. 251 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,009 {\an1}- I would--I would love to at least 252 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:13,593 {\an1}do the eight weeks and then make a decision 253 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,298 {\an1}from that based off that. 254 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,350 {\an1}- I’m--I’m at the point where all I have to do 255 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,982 {\an1}at this point is just defend myself. 256 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:19,810 {\an1}- Yeah. 257 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,194 {\an1}- Because he’s gonna keep lying. 258 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:24,189 {\an1}And I know he’s hanging out with the guys right now, 259 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,692 {\an1}and God knows what he’s saying. - Right. 260 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:31,365 {\an1}- I know that Morgan that I met bachelorette party, 261 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,316 {\an1}and I know that she wants to be married. 262 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,279 {\an1}I know she wants to be a wife. 263 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,447 {\an1}She has a lot to bring to the table, 264 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,656 {\an1}but I’m feeling like she’s tired 265 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,829 {\an1}and that she might just need some help. 266 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,628 {\an1}- You wanna go over to Nate’s and Stacia’s, 267 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:48,002 {\an1}I’ll come with you guys. - Whoa. 268 00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:51,919 {\an1}- We’ll all go! - Let’s go! 269 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:55,678 {\an1}- Bust right in! - Oh, my God. 270 00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,644 {\an1}If this isn’t girl power, I don’t know what is. 271 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,565 {\an1}- How do you feel, man? 272 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:01,982 {\an1}- Honestly, bro, for the last-- 273 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,062 {\an1}the first three days after that happened, 274 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,274 {\an1}I felt like [bleep]. Like, I couldn’t sleep. 275 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,655 {\an1}I was breaking out. 276 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:08,863 {\an1}I looked at the weight. Seven pounds lost. 277 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,613 {\an1}♪ ♪ 278 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,823 {\an1}- Hi, honey. - Hey. 279 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,244 {\an1}- Hey. - Oh, [bleep]. 280 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,993 {\an1}- Hey. - Looks like a setup. 281 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,488 {\an1}- Straight setup. 282 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:24,209 {\an1}- Oh, wow. - It’s about to go down. 283 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,502 {\an1}- What’s up, baby? 284 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:30,384 {\an1}Obviously, there’s still a lot of hurt and frustration 285 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,595 {\an1}with Binh and Morgan, but I can tell, like, 286 00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,264 {\an1}he truly wants this to work. 287 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:37,682 {\an1}So I hope they--they do what it takes to make it work. 288 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,512 {\an1}Binh gave me his side of the story. 289 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,139 {\an1}So I guess I just wanna ask you 290 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,895 {\an1}what was your breaking point? 291 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,018 {\an1}- He broke my trust the first time 292 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,193 {\an1}on the honeymoon. - Mm-hmm. 293 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,982 {\an1}- And it was-- it also bothered me 294 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,855 {\an1}that he was so big about lying. 295 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,744 {\an1}He was like, "We shouldn’t be starting off 296 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,941 {\an1}this marriage with any lies." 297 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,448 {\an1}Like, "I’m not about lying, even if it’s a white lie, 298 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:57,781 {\an1}I don’t like lies." 299 00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:01,036 {\an1}And then to find out he’s been lying to me this entire time. 300 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,581 {\an1}So you’re telling me you don’t wanna do lies. 301 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:06,215 {\an1}You’re telling me that lies are awful and horrible, 302 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,341 {\an1}but you’ve been lying to my face essentially daily. 303 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,749 {\an1}- Hmm, lying about what? - Yeah, what’s the lie? 304 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,420 {\an1}- Yeah, what’s the daily lie? 305 00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,838 {\an1}- He’s been going to Justin this entire time, 306 00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:18,505 {\an1}telling Justin essentially everything about our marriage 307 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,475 {\an1}and then coming to my face and saying, 308 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:21,935 {\an1}"I’d never tell him anything." 309 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:23,636 {\an1}At any point in time, he could have come to me 310 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,605 {\an1}and said, "God, today was just a really bad day. 311 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,058 {\an1}I was venting to Justin. here’s what I told him." 312 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,979 {\an1}And it would’ve been handled much better than this. 313 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:35,396 {\an1}But it wasn’t only that it was never like, "Yeah, 314 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,606 {\an1}"I’ve been lying to you. I did that. 315 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,570 {\an1}"I hurt you. I see that. 316 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:41,658 {\an1}I apologize." 317 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,743 {\an1}- Okay, so you feel like there was an overall lack 318 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,708 {\an1}of accountability on his part. - Absolutely. 319 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,868 {\an1}- Binh, do you think that’s true? Is that fair? 320 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,747 {\an1}- Yeah, that’s fair. I can see that. 321 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:51,634 {\an1}- You know, we’re all being all politically correct. 322 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,303 {\an1}Like, what’s up with the hostility? 323 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:56,631 {\an1}♪ ♪ 324 00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:57,798 {\an1}- I was-- 325 00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,296 {\an1}- Because, like, I see his temperament all the time 326 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,258 {\an1}and it’s cool, calm, and collected, 327 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,138 {\an1}you know, all-- all I’m seeing 328 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,135 {\an1}is just Morgan hella pissed off... 329 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,307 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. - All the time. 330 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:08,385 {\an1}- Yeah. 331 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:11,768 {\an1}- And I feel like everything he does is wrong. 332 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,478 {\an1}I feel like Morgan has a personality 333 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,148 {\an1}of never being satisfied, 334 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:18,356 {\an1}so, like, anything that Binh is gonna do, 335 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,316 {\an1}she’s not gonna believe it, 336 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,527 {\an1}but he needs to voice his opinion. 337 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:25,286 {\an1}He needs to be firm and not let Morgan 338 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,751 {\an1}overpower the conversation or anything in general. 339 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:32,131 {\an1}I feel like it’s very subjective for you to say, 340 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,630 {\an1}he’s doing this against you. 341 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:37,171 {\an1}We’re--we’re having an abnormal experience... 342 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,168 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 343 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,969 {\an1}- That no one in this whole entire world 344 00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,141 {\an1}is having, you know what I’m saying? 345 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,509 {\an1}- Yeah, but I feel like since this is so abnormal, 346 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,519 {\an1}I feel like I needed him on my side, 347 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:47,521 {\an1}and I needed him to have my back, 348 00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:50,852 {\an1}and he did not, not at all. - Okay. 349 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,269 {\an1}- You know, which is also where, like, 350 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,735 {\an1}the betrayals coming in, 351 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,785 {\an1}’cause for the one person out of everyone here 352 00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,529 {\an1}who should have had my back, it should have been 353 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:00,493 {\an1}my husband, and he did not. 354 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,571 {\an1}He did not when it came to the nursing career thing 355 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,697 {\an1}and did not when it came to the lies, 356 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,486 {\an1}which is why I was so upset. 357 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,199 {\an1}- No, yeah, I definitely take responsibility 358 00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,369 {\an1}for lying behind her back, 359 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,037 {\an1}and then I also came into this naive for sure. 360 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,876 {\an1}A lot of the questions are like, "Oh, 361 00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,092 {\an1}"can you handle a strong personality? 362 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,670 {\an1}Can you handle somebody that’s not within your culture?" 363 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:20,256 {\an1}And I in my mind was like, "Easy," 364 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,681 {\an1}but the truth is it’s not easy. 365 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,051 {\an1}It’s not sunshine and rainbows, 366 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,847 {\an1}and I also through this experience 367 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,182 {\an1}learned that I had past traumas that I didn’t truly heal from, 368 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,556 {\an1}so how can I make somebody else happy 369 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:31,895 {\an1}if I’m not happy myself? 370 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:35,480 {\an1}♪ ♪ 371 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,195 {\an1}And I definitely feel bad for you, Morgan, 372 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,905 {\an1}I signed up for therapy today. 373 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:42,857 {\an1}So just trying to demon slay my demons. 374 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,277 {\an1}♪ ♪ 375 00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:50,196 {\an1}- ♪ I’m so sorry for the words I’ve spoken ♪ 376 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:54,380 {\an1}♪ And I’m sorry for the things done ♪ 377 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,039 {\an1}- It’s tough, man. 378 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:59,047 {\an1}I understand that she’s hurt. She’s feels scorned. 379 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,762 {\an1}So I understand her perspective, 380 00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:04,892 {\an1}but I’m trying, I tried, I’m still trying. 381 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:14,559 {\an1}- ♪ I’m sorry ♪ 382 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,437 {\an1}- Hey. - What’s up, Dr. Pepper? 383 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:22,357 {\an1}it’s important that our couples dive deeper 384 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,535 {\an1}into their relationships and learn 385 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,414 {\an1}how to be vulnerable with one another 386 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:27,951 {\an1}before they have to make one of 387 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,156 {\an1}the biggest decisions of their lives, 388 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,914 {\an1}whether to stay married or get a divorce. 389 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,747 {\an1}- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 390 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,785 {\an1}[upbeat music] 391 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:45,890 {\an1}♪ ♪ 392 00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,652 {\an1}- [sighs] 393 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,993 {\an1}[knocks] 394 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:05,991 {\an1}- I came into this wanting to be in love 395 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,284 {\an1}and to be married so much, 396 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,948 {\an1}and, you know, I still want for this to work out, 397 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,997 {\an1}but I’m still kind of, you know, 398 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,872 {\an1}iffy about Binh, kind of uncomfortable 399 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,668 {\an1}because I don’t know where he’s at mentally, 400 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:24,174 {\an1}and if he even understands damages that he’s caused. 401 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:27,218 {\an1}You know, I was still very hurt by the whole situation. 402 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,431 {\an1}- So, look, you know, 403 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,102 {\an1}they--they keep me up to date 404 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:34,640 {\an1}about everything, and I wanna be helpful 405 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:38,187 {\an1}to you in terms of thinking about what’s going on, 406 00:15:38,312 --> 00:15:42,152 {\an1}and I hope you can show some compassion and forgiveness 407 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,235 {\an1}to each other because, and I know 408 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,818 {\an1}how much you wanted this marriage. 409 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,953 {\an1}♪ ♪ 410 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:52,700 {\an1}So Binh respond to me about why and how all this happened. 411 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,447 {\an1}- I think coming into it, 412 00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:56,207 {\an1}I didn’t think that I had expectations, 413 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,870 {\an1}but surely, I did. 414 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,039 {\an1}♪ ♪ 415 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:04,548 {\an1}I was over judgmental, insensitive. 416 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,052 {\an1}I think one thing that I struggled with 417 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:09,055 {\an1}in all this was I was scared to-- 418 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:11,297 {\an1}to convert--converse with her 419 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,507 {\an1}and so I went behind her back for sure 420 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,519 {\an1}and then lied to her face, 421 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:19,141 {\an1}but it was just less stressful and more comfortable 422 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,228 {\an1}just to go and talk to Justin, 423 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:23,566 {\an1}but I definitely made a lot of mistakes. 424 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,361 {\an1}♪ ♪ 425 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,896 {\an1}- My first thought was that you were completely overwhelmed. 426 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:33,030 {\an1}So I wonder if what you’ve seen is a more male world 427 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,909 {\an1}with a wife sort of in it, as opposed to 428 00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,957 {\an1}wife and husband being the best friends 429 00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:42,079 {\an1}and kind of having each other’s back against the world. 430 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:46,590 {\an1}And I’m not letting Morgan entirely off the hook here 431 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,594 {\an1}I do wanna talk about some stuff there too. 432 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:52,466 {\an1}But--but what you did was exclude her the possibility 433 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,893 {\an1}of knowing what you were really feeling and thinking 434 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,215 {\an1}and taking it elsewhere. - Yeah. 435 00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:00,058 {\an1}♪ ♪ 436 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,226 {\an1}- What about you? 437 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,570 {\an1}- You know, I’ve really looked back and like, 438 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,611 {\an1}could I have made a safer space for Binh? 439 00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:09,775 {\an1}You know, could I have used different tones? 440 00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:11,954 {\an1}Could I have said different things differently? 441 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,203 {\an1}Like, what-- what could I have done 442 00:17:14,282 --> 00:17:15,413 {\an1}to make him feel more comfortable 443 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,494 {\an1}coming and talking to me? 444 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,906 {\an1}But, you know, like, it’s really hard for me 445 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:22,038 {\an1}to bring someone back in when, like, my trust is gone, 446 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,594 {\an1}but I let him back in after he betrayed me the first time 447 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,170 {\an1}and, you know, slowly over time, 448 00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:29,475 {\an1}I was like gaining more trust in him. 449 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,760 {\an1}My walls were coming down. I was opening up more. 450 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:35,144 {\an1}And then this is what you did with your clean slate. 451 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,813 {\an1}It was just a lot. 452 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,391 {\an1}♪ ♪ 453 00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:42,805 {\an1}- What I want you to get is how important trust is 454 00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:47,937 {\an1}and how important working things out is with the person 455 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,525 {\an1}you’ve pledged your life to. 456 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:55,071 {\an1}And part of what we’re planning for you, 457 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,077 {\an1}which I think really would be valuable 458 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,999 {\an1}to you is we ask you to think 459 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:03,211 {\an1}about yourself at some point of your childhood 460 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,541 {\an1}and you write the letter to yourself 461 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,836 {\an1}from who you are now, 462 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:12,012 {\an1}and then we ask you to read that letter to each other 463 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:16,303 {\an1}because it gives more insight into some of the things 464 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,469 {\an1}that you had to either deal with, 465 00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:20,346 {\an1}conquer, or build upon. 466 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,734 {\an1}♪ ♪ 467 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,730 {\an1}I think that would be a good exercise. 468 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,522 {\an1}I think it’s a powerful one, 469 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:30,817 {\an1}and I hope you guys can progress. 470 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,281 {\an1}♪ ♪ 471 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:35,781 {\an1}- ♪ Tell me, tell me you love ♪ 472 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,415 {\an1}♪ Who I am I now ♪ 473 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:46,042 {\an1}♪ Sorry, is this enough? ♪ 474 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,551 {\an1}♪ Come on, love me crazy ♪ 475 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,380 {\an1}♪ Na, na, n 476 00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:54,876 {\an1}[upbeat music] 477 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:57,339 {\an1}- Hey, what’s up? - Hi, Dr. Pepper. 478 00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,888 {\an1}- Look at that. - Come in. 479 00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:02,024 {\an1}- I haven’t seen you since you came over 480 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,931 {\an1}to my studio. I was single. 481 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:06,018 {\an1}- That’s some big changes. 482 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,273 {\an1}I do know about those changes. 483 00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:11,356 {\an1}A couple of things here today, 484 00:19:11,442 --> 00:19:15,862 {\an1}I wanna make you guys happy with how you resolve things 485 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,408 {\an1}and how you’re feeling about each other 486 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,492 {\an1}and that you can solve some problems 487 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,616 {\an1}or at least figure out some approaches 488 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:23,833 {\an1}to things while I’m here. 489 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,293 {\an1}What are the things that have been 490 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,924 {\an1}getting in your way in terms of feeling 491 00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:32,383 {\an1}that you’re getting everything you need out of this marriage? 492 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,975 {\an1}- I think the things that we struggled with in our marriage 493 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,800 {\an1}were I like to move quickly, so I’m like, 494 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,057 {\an1}I know exactly who I am, I know exactly what I want, 495 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:45,019 {\an1}and I’m all-in, like, show me that you’re all-in, 496 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,851 {\an1}and I’m doing everything to show you, 497 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:50,606 {\an1}but I feel like he was a little bit slower. 498 00:19:50,731 --> 00:19:53,071 {\an1}- So first let me make one statement 499 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,900 {\an1}that I think is really important for you 500 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:58,695 {\an1}to think about. You didn’t marry you. 501 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:02,781 {\an1}♪ ♪ 502 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:04,830 {\an1}You’re fully entitled to want that 503 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,582 {\an1}because you like it, that’s who you are, 504 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,374 {\an1}that’s how you give, 505 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,747 {\an1}but I think if you ask a man to give it the same way 506 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:15,207 {\an1}and in the same style that you require, 507 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,927 {\an1}that you’re gonna be disappointed. 508 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:22,349 {\an1}- We do have, you know, stimulating conversations 509 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,510 {\an1}for the most part, but sometimes 510 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:28,688 {\an1}I can be very just concise 511 00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:32,769 {\an1}and just very, you know, very matter of fact. 512 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:37,107 {\an1}- He’s never really been in a--in a household where, 513 00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:40,574 {\an1}you know, the way women talk, the way we discuss things, 514 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:44,196 {\an1}the way we overanalyze things, 515 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:46,755 {\an1}but I think what everybody needs 516 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,919 {\an1}is active--active listening. - Right. 517 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,459 {\an1}- I think one of the things, you correct me if I’m wrong, 518 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,635 {\an1}that would help her a lot is the kind 519 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,714 {\an1}of questions where you’re-- you’re getting 520 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:57,967 {\an1}to learn more. 521 00:20:58,048 --> 00:21:00,088 {\an1}She’s talking, you’re-- she’ll know you’re listening. 522 00:21:00,176 --> 00:21:02,006 {\an1}She’ll know you’re thinking about it. 523 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:02,836 {\an1}- Yep, understood. 524 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,850 {\an1}Do you feel like I’m reciprocating 525 00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:07,643 {\an1}and asking inquisitive questions? 526 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:10,105 {\an1}- Now you are, yeah. - Okay. 527 00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:12,936 {\an1}- The other thing is I know you guys have had some fights. 528 00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:15,862 {\an1}- I mean, I think when we have our disagreements, 529 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:18,493 {\an1}like, I was looking at him with, like, so much concern 530 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:21,239 {\an1}because I had never seen him like that. 531 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,822 {\an1}- You’re not patient enough for me to actually grow 532 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,579 {\an1}and get deep with you. 533 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,449 {\an1}That’s what I think it is. 534 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,286 {\an1}- I’m not saying it’s not enough. 535 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,621 {\an1}That’s what I think you’re not understanding. 536 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,377 {\an1}- Well, that’s how it’s coming out-- 537 00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,461 {\an1}- I’m just saying that I want an emotional connection 538 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,304 {\an1}as well. That’s all I’m saying. 539 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:41,009 {\an1}- We got emotion now. You happy? 540 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:43,141 {\an1}- I understand that, 541 00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:45,849 {\an1}and I think one way to help her with that 542 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:50,270 {\an1}is to say, "I’m angry, but I’m not going anywhere." 543 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:53,401 {\an1}Give you one other hint that I truly love. 544 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:57,401 {\an1}I think if you’re gonna have a tough discussion, hold hands. 545 00:21:57,525 --> 00:22:01,575 {\an1}- Oh, my God. My mom told me the same thing. 546 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,695 {\an1}- Love your mom. It’s true. 547 00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:04,953 {\an1}Hold your hands now. 548 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,082 {\an1}Let me-- a little tiny experiment. 549 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:09,621 {\an1}Do you not instantly feel more connected? 550 00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:10,873 {\an1}- Of course. - Yeah. 551 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:12,835 {\an1}- Okay, so when you are having 552 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:16,085 {\an1}a tough discussion, if you hold hands, 553 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,340 {\an1}it will modify how you talk. 554 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,960 {\an1}You will remember that you’re the team 555 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,178 {\an1}addressing the question. - Mm-hmm. 556 00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:25,589 {\an1}- You’re not the problem. You’re not the problem. 557 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,219 {\an1}The problem is the problem, 558 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:30,474 {\an1}and the team is going to address it. 559 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,518 {\an1}- Yeah, there you go. I like that, yeah. 560 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:35,901 {\an1}- Where are you on physical intimacy? 561 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,401 {\an1}I know you hold hands so there you go. 562 00:22:38,524 --> 00:22:40,114 {\an1}- I know what you’re trying to ask. 563 00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:42,534 {\an1}- Good. 564 00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:44,031 {\an1}- Yes, we consummated the marriage. 565 00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:45,863 {\an1}Yeah. - Okay. 566 00:22:45,948 --> 00:22:48,658 {\an1}So that should make you feel more married, right? 567 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:49,832 {\an1}- Yeah, yeah. 568 00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:53,830 {\an1}- And does that make you feel more secure or less? 569 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:55,584 {\an1}- More secure. - Okay. 570 00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,168 {\an1}I think sex can be great without love, 571 00:22:58,252 --> 00:23:00,252 {\an1}but I think it’s just amazing with love. 572 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,259 {\an1}- I agree. 573 00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:03,549 {\an1}[laughter] 574 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:10,602 {\an1}♪ ♪ 575 00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,769 {\an1}- First of all, I wanna catch up 576 00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,313 {\an1}and see what’s been going on. 577 00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,596 {\an1}I do understand there’s been some frictions, 578 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:21,938 {\an1}so I wanna know kind of how you managed it or not. 579 00:23:22,067 --> 00:23:25,567 {\an1}So you--you fill me in about what you experienced 580 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:27,114 {\an1}during this time and what else has gone on 581 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,909 {\an1}in the last couple days. 582 00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:31,081 {\an1}- We started off very rocky, 583 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:35,960 {\an1}and he has been vocal 584 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,540 {\an1}about the beginning, 585 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:40,005 {\an1}about you not-- I’m so sorry-- 586 00:23:40,127 --> 00:23:41,837 {\an1}about you not feeling it, 587 00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:45,472 {\an1}and I was trying to overcompensate. 588 00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:48,759 {\an1}I wanted to be the best wife I could be to make-- 589 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,434 {\an1}not give him any reason to continue to feel 590 00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:53,892 {\an1}the way he was feeling. I like Mitch. 591 00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:56,644 {\an1}We have fun together. I think he’s a good person. 592 00:23:56,769 --> 00:24:00,149 {\an1}I think my issue is that I really, really 593 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:01,610 {\an1}wanted to make him happy, 594 00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:04,110 {\an1}and I lost a little bit of myself in that, 595 00:24:04,193 --> 00:24:07,613 {\an1}and I, to be honest with you, I don’t wanna do it anymore. 596 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,906 {\an1}♪ ♪ 597 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:13,700 {\an1}I am just done with walking on eggshells. 598 00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:18,254 {\an1}- Well, I think it’s good that you’re not walking 599 00:24:18,332 --> 00:24:21,132 {\an1}on eggshells, but let’s differentiate that 600 00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,630 {\an1}from just being your own good self 601 00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:26,842 {\an1}and seeking to support the marriage 602 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,336 {\an1}without being on eggshells. - Yeah. 603 00:24:29,426 --> 00:24:31,006 {\an1}- That’s not a marriage. 604 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:32,636 {\an1}That’s not good for a marriage. 605 00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:35,681 {\an1}It’s not good for the individuals. 606 00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:38,516 {\an1}What would it take for you to feel more 607 00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:41,314 {\an1}like he’s really working 608 00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:43,477 {\an1}and putting in what you are putting in? 609 00:24:43,565 --> 00:24:46,145 {\an1}- Yeah, I guess, like, what I would need 610 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:48,285 {\an1}is some questions answered. 611 00:24:48,362 --> 00:24:50,822 {\an1}Do you still feel the way 612 00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:53,526 {\an1}that you felt day two of the honeymoon? 613 00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:56,037 {\an1}Are you completely over that or do you still wish 614 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,500 {\an1}that you got a different wife? 615 00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,869 {\an1}That’s my main question. 616 00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:01,917 {\an1}The second question would be, 617 00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:03,962 {\an1}I don’t necessarily, like, need, 618 00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:05,674 {\an1}a "I’m in love with you." 619 00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:08,264 {\an1}But I do need, like, "I could. 620 00:25:08,382 --> 00:25:10,512 {\an1}I could fall in love with you." 621 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:11,932 {\an1}- So there’s a lot of demand in that. 622 00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:13,092 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 623 00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:15,600 {\an1}- This is a guy who doesn’t do well with demands. 624 00:25:15,723 --> 00:25:18,313 {\an1}- Then he shouldn’t have gotten married. 625 00:25:18,392 --> 00:25:21,852 {\an1}- Well, I think he can be a good husband, 626 00:25:21,937 --> 00:25:25,187 {\an1}but you have to figure out each other’s language 627 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:28,194 {\an1}and each other’s feelings and see the feeling 628 00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,197 {\an1}underneath the question. 629 00:25:30,279 --> 00:25:31,739 {\an1}You’re good at being directive... 630 00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:32,702 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 631 00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,071 {\an1}- But that’s not showing your feelings. 632 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,029 {\an1}- Correct. 633 00:25:35,117 --> 00:25:36,197 {\an1}- You’re not telling him what to do. 634 00:25:36,285 --> 00:25:38,375 {\an1}- Right. - You’re saying what you need. 635 00:25:38,454 --> 00:25:39,754 {\an1}- Yeah. 636 00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:42,790 {\an1}- I need some show of affection. 637 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:46,456 {\an1}I wanna know that I make you happy sometimes. 638 00:25:46,587 --> 00:25:47,547 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 639 00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:48,799 {\an1}- I need to hear it, 640 00:25:48,922 --> 00:25:53,052 {\an1}and I think that when somebody says their true feelings, 641 00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:54,805 {\an1}that you’re more likely to get the response 642 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,218 {\an1}you want from him. 643 00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:57,815 {\an1}♪ ♪ 644 00:25:57,931 --> 00:25:59,391 {\an1}Do you admire her? 645 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:01,275 {\an1}- Yeah. 646 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:04,403 {\an1}- Do you feel affectionate towards her? 647 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,690 {\an1}- I do. 648 00:26:05,773 --> 00:26:08,023 {\an1}- Do you say that to her? 649 00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:10,278 {\an1}- Pro--I mean-- 650 00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:13,032 {\an1}- I want you to just do a string of nice words 651 00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:14,243 {\an1}that you truly feel about her... 652 00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:15,243 {\an1}- Okay. 653 00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:17,244 {\an1}- To her. 654 00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,406 {\an1}- I do admire you. 655 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:20,955 {\an1}I think you’re really strong. 656 00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,538 {\an1}You know, I am grateful for you and just the way 657 00:26:23,624 --> 00:26:27,924 {\an1}that you’ve approached this whole, I guess, marriage. 658 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:30,923 {\an1}It’s a lot more courageous. 659 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:34,586 {\an1}I feel like I’ve gone into it where I kind of-- 660 00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,506 {\an1}♪ ♪ 661 00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:38,757 {\an1}I sort of just got, like, skeptical, 662 00:26:38,847 --> 00:26:39,677 {\an1}you know what I mean? 663 00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,217 {\an1}I just---I was doing a lot of things 664 00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:42,098 {\an1}that were just protecting myself 665 00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:44,484 {\an1}’cause I was afraid. - Mm-hmm. 666 00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:48,401 {\an1}- And you--you were much more brave. 667 00:26:48,482 --> 00:26:52,442 {\an1}- I mean, one of your roadblocks is fear, 668 00:26:52,528 --> 00:26:57,068 {\an1}and I think you get critical and even self-righteous 669 00:26:57,157 --> 00:27:00,117 {\an1}when you feel threatened. 670 00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:03,462 {\an1}So I think you could work on that and still be you. 671 00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,119 {\an1}- Yeah. 672 00:27:05,207 --> 00:27:07,207 {\an1}- What do you need? 673 00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:11,504 {\an1}- Wanting to feel more validated than I do. 674 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:15,260 {\an1}- She’s asking you if you will take on that fear 675 00:27:15,342 --> 00:27:18,142 {\an1}and will want to love her. 676 00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:19,970 {\an1}Do you want to do everything 677 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:22,635 {\an1}you can to see if you can love her 678 00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,564 {\an1}in the way that you both need? 679 00:27:24,685 --> 00:27:26,025 {\an1}♪ ♪ 680 00:27:26,103 --> 00:27:27,353 {\an1}- Yeah, I do. 681 00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:29,517 {\an1}♪ ♪ 682 00:27:29,606 --> 00:27:31,976 {\an1}- If you truly take the commitment 683 00:27:32,067 --> 00:27:34,527 {\an1}and work through your fears, your fears 684 00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,863 {\an1}of not being loved enough, your fears 685 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,779 {\an1}of this not being perfect in some fantastical way, 686 00:27:39,867 --> 00:27:41,867 {\an1}that spark will be there. 687 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:48,174 {\an1}- ♪ ’Cause all we gotta do is be fearless ♪ 688 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:53,880 {\an1}♪ ♪ 689 00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:01,932 {\an1}[upbeat music] 690 00:28:02,055 --> 00:28:04,425 {\an1}- I’m down here. - Hello there. 691 00:28:04,558 --> 00:28:05,888 {\an1}Hello, stranger. How are you? 692 00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:06,886 {\an1}- Nice to see you. 693 00:28:07,019 --> 00:28:08,559 {\an1}- It’s good to see you too. - Likewise. 694 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,057 {\an1}- Come on in. - You’re so tall. 695 00:28:10,189 --> 00:28:12,439 {\an1}- It’s the shoes I got on. 696 00:28:12,566 --> 00:28:14,026 {\an1}- Okay. 697 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:15,399 {\an1}This is more--you know, you’re so big. 698 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,277 {\an1}Like I don’t know how to handle it. 699 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,164 {\an1}Well, nice to be in your place. - Yes. 700 00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:21,279 {\an1}- I’m forward to talking to you guys. 701 00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:22,408 {\an1}- Welcome. 702 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,294 {\an1}- You guys sit on the couch and catch me up here. 703 00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:27,041 {\an1}♪ ♪ 704 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:31,252 {\an1}So my purpose here today is to help you out, 705 00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:33,036 {\an1}you know, to see how you’re doing. 706 00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:36,418 {\an1}So tell me what’s happening right now. 707 00:28:36,548 --> 00:28:38,968 {\an1}- Ah, it’s been an emotional day. 708 00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:40,302 {\an1}- I see. 709 00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:42,637 {\an1}Tell me about it. 710 00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:43,893 {\an1}- Can you tell her? 711 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:48,642 {\an1}- Oh, so his dog, Maya, when we moved in the apartment 712 00:28:48,769 --> 00:28:49,939 {\an1}had attacked Newton. 713 00:28:50,062 --> 00:28:53,982 {\an1}And, you know, those are both our babies, and we’re like, 714 00:28:54,107 --> 00:28:55,477 {\an1}"How can we work through this?" 715 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:57,569 {\an1}And we came to the compromise that Maya would 716 00:28:57,653 --> 00:28:59,363 {\an1}go away to this training camp. 717 00:28:59,446 --> 00:29:01,316 {\an1}And the trainer had just called yesterday 718 00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:04,578 {\an1}and said that she’s just inconsistent 719 00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:07,500 {\an1}and she attacks and she’s like, "I don’t think you should 720 00:29:07,621 --> 00:29:11,751 {\an1}even come pick her up, Justin." - Oh. 721 00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:14,463 {\an1}- So he’s decided to just-- you know, 722 00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,634 {\an1}she’s gonna be out there working on the farm, 723 00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:20,505 {\an1}but she cannot come back. 724 00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:23,514 {\an1}- Oh, Justin, I’m so sorry. 725 00:29:23,637 --> 00:29:25,387 {\an1}I know what it’s like. 726 00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:27,812 {\an1}I mean, it’s family. I get it. 727 00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:29,683 {\an1}- Yeah, Maya’s my baby. 728 00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:30,520 {\an1}She’s my first dog. 729 00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:31,774 {\an1}Had her almost seven years. 730 00:29:31,853 --> 00:29:36,863 {\an1}It needed to be done, but I just needed to trust 731 00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:39,244 {\an1}that she’s in a good place, and so-- 732 00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:40,899 {\an1}- Sounds like a great place, actually. 733 00:29:40,988 --> 00:29:41,858 {\an1}- Yeah. 734 00:29:41,989 --> 00:29:44,159 {\an1}- I know that that was a big issue 735 00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:45,533 {\an1}when your dog got hurt, 736 00:29:45,659 --> 00:29:48,199 {\an1}so I gather there’s been some, 737 00:29:48,328 --> 00:29:49,868 {\an1}um, I don’t know if it’s called healing? 738 00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,367 {\an1}Tell me about it. 739 00:29:51,498 --> 00:29:53,878 {\an1}- Like, after Sunday and the dinner, 740 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:56,671 {\an1}I heard him say comments like, 741 00:29:56,753 --> 00:29:59,463 {\an1}"I don’t feel like I-- we can overcome by the time 742 00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:00,838 {\an1}Decision Day comes." 743 00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:02,006 {\an1}And he was just kind of getting defeated, 744 00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:03,472 {\an1}and we both were kind of just getting defeated 745 00:30:03,552 --> 00:30:04,592 {\an1}of past experiences. 746 00:30:04,678 --> 00:30:07,258 {\an1}And I really was just playing everything out. 747 00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:08,767 {\an1}And I was just like, "I don’t wanna-- 748 00:30:08,849 --> 00:30:10,309 {\an1}"I don’t wanna hurt anymore. 749 00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:13,022 {\an1}"And the easiest way for me to not hurt 750 00:30:13,103 --> 00:30:13,853 {\an1}anymore is to forgive." 751 00:30:13,979 --> 00:30:16,899 {\an1}And we had, like, a fresh start. 752 00:30:17,024 --> 00:30:18,694 {\an1}- That’s wonderful and, of course, 753 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,357 {\an1}I’m very happy for you guys, but that doesn’t 754 00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:23,205 {\an1}clear up everything, right? 755 00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,870 {\an1}What are the things that you think 756 00:30:25,991 --> 00:30:31,541 {\an1}could be in the way of you moving to a successful yes 757 00:30:31,621 --> 00:30:32,831 {\an1}on Decision Day? 758 00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:35,214 {\an1}- I think what it was is for me is, 759 00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:40,214 {\an1}like, for Sunday, you know, I felt alone, you know? 760 00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:42,877 {\an1}Now I think because I felt that, 761 00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:46,216 {\an1}it gave me a reality check as to how that makes her feel, 762 00:30:46,303 --> 00:30:47,603 {\an1}you know what I’m saying? 763 00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,431 {\an1}When she feels isolated and alone. 764 00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,766 {\an1}And if I’m being honest, like, because I saw how dominant 765 00:30:52,893 --> 00:30:55,653 {\an1}she was and she had this alpha personality, 766 00:30:55,729 --> 00:30:58,109 {\an1}I sort of forgot she’s still sensitive. 767 00:30:58,231 --> 00:30:59,821 {\an1}- Oh. - She’s sensitive. 768 00:30:59,900 --> 00:31:02,070 {\an1}- I am not. - She is. 769 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:03,864 {\an1}- You don’t think you’re a sensitive person? 770 00:31:06,573 --> 00:31:08,783 {\an1}- Sensitivity is equated to vulnerability to me, 771 00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:10,289 {\an1}and that’s not a place that I like to dwell. 772 00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:12,040 {\an1}- Where does it come from? 773 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,870 {\an1}- So, Dr. Pepper, I-- 774 00:31:14,956 --> 00:31:17,286 {\an1}it’s my family. 775 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:20,627 {\an1}I’ve grown up with strong Black women, 776 00:31:20,754 --> 00:31:22,844 {\an1}and there’s just some things where you don’t let people 777 00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:24,723 {\an1}see you sweat, you know? 778 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,340 {\an1}And I know that’s something that’s sometimes not healthy, 779 00:31:28,428 --> 00:31:30,928 {\an1}and I’m trying to be more vulnerable, 780 00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,466 {\an1}but I’ve never seen my mom cry in my life. 781 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,940 {\an1}So it’s just really what I saw growing up. 782 00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:38,770 {\an1}And, for me, it’s just like I had no choice but to be 783 00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:41,107 {\an1}a strong woman, and a part of being strong 784 00:31:41,191 --> 00:31:43,821 {\an1}was not being sensitive. It was not being vulnerable. 785 00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:46,784 {\an1}It’s not letting everybody see all your cards and expose, 786 00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:49,445 {\an1}you know, like you being quote-unquote weak. 787 00:31:49,533 --> 00:31:53,663 {\an1}And I know, like, weakness isn’t affiliated with tears, 788 00:31:53,787 --> 00:31:54,867 {\an1}but that’s what I learned, you know? 789 00:31:54,955 --> 00:31:59,465 {\an1}That’s what I saw growing up, and I’m noticing it now, 790 00:31:59,584 --> 00:32:03,254 {\an1}but it’s still like vulnerability 791 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:04,208 {\an1}is to me is danger. 792 00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:06,627 {\an1}You know, like, if I show you everything 793 00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,968 {\an1}then it gives you power over me. 794 00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,014 {\an1}You can play me however you wanna play me, 795 00:32:11,138 --> 00:32:12,348 {\an1}and that terrifies me. 796 00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:14,022 {\an1}- I think that’s an important thing 797 00:32:14,141 --> 00:32:17,271 {\an1}to build up because there’s no way 798 00:32:17,352 --> 00:32:20,652 {\an1}to be in love or in a marriage 799 00:32:20,772 --> 00:32:22,732 {\an1}without being vulnerable. 800 00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:25,186 {\an1}Letting someone really know you, 801 00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:29,448 {\an1}letting somebody experience 802 00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:32,161 {\an1}the places you’re imperfect in, 803 00:32:32,242 --> 00:32:34,202 {\an1}that shouldn’t scare you. 804 00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:35,497 {\an1}That should be something 805 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:37,290 {\an1}you’re strong enough to embrace. 806 00:32:37,372 --> 00:32:40,542 {\an1}It’s our ability to be vulnerable 807 00:32:40,667 --> 00:32:42,537 {\an1}that makes us strong. 808 00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:44,379 {\an1}♪ ♪ 809 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:47,844 {\an1}I wanna help you feel that it’s okay to feel. 810 00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:49,384 {\an1}- I’m--I’m working on it. 811 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:56,559 {\an1}♪ ♪ 812 00:32:57,642 --> 00:33:00,402 {\an1}- ♪ You’re making it easy to breathe ♪ 813 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,730 {\an1}♪ You’re making it easy ♪ 814 00:33:02,856 --> 00:33:05,726 {\an1}♪ You’re making life easy for me ♪ 815 00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:07,779 {\an1}♪ You’re making it easy ♪ 816 00:33:07,861 --> 00:33:12,031 {\an1}- This is the apartments that I lived in 817 00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:15,237 {\an1}basically from first grade to 11th grade. 818 00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:20,038 {\an1}- I’d skip through that little alley 819 00:33:20,165 --> 00:33:22,295 {\an1}’cause I was too lazy to walk all the way around. 820 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:24,705 {\an1}- This week, we’ve asked our couples 821 00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:26,956 {\an1}to return to their roots and share 822 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:28,167 {\an1}some of their childhood experiences 823 00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:31,546 {\an1}with their spouse. - My dad would be really proud. 824 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:33,086 {\an1}- Aw. 825 00:33:33,220 --> 00:33:34,760 {\an1}- He was a lifelong baseball guy. 826 00:33:34,888 --> 00:33:37,178 {\an1}- We’ve also encouraged each person 827 00:33:37,265 --> 00:33:39,925 {\an1}to write a letter to their younger self 828 00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:42,730 {\an1}about a significant point in their life. 829 00:33:42,812 --> 00:33:44,732 {\an1}- I don’t know why I’m so [bleep] nervous right now. 830 00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:46,566 {\an1}- It’s adorable. 831 00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:48,780 {\an1}- Understanding a person’s past 832 00:33:48,902 --> 00:33:51,612 {\an1}can often provide valuable information 833 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:53,358 {\an1}about who they are in the present. 834 00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:55,068 {\an1}- Do you wanna go first? 835 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,030 {\an1}- You go first. 836 00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:58,617 {\an1}- Oh, you wanna put me on the spot. 837 00:33:58,745 --> 00:34:00,455 {\an1}- And learning these things about each other 838 00:34:00,580 --> 00:34:03,460 {\an1}will have a major impact on whether they decide 839 00:34:03,583 --> 00:34:06,673 {\an1}to stay married or get a divorce. 840 00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:10,303 {\an1}♪ ♪ 841 00:34:10,422 --> 00:34:12,303 {\an1}- Whoa. - I’m pumped. 842 00:34:12,425 --> 00:34:13,795 {\an1}- This is kind of intimidating. 843 00:34:13,927 --> 00:34:14,967 {\an1}- Feels great. 844 00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:18,975 {\an1}What’s your comfort level with baseball or softball? 845 00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:21,478 {\an1}- What’s the scale? - Zero to ten. 846 00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:23,481 {\an1}- Like, maybe like a two. I don’t know. 847 00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:25,443 {\an1}It’s been-- 848 00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,442 {\an1}I don’t think I’ve played softball--baseball 849 00:34:27,565 --> 00:34:29,436 {\an1}since I was, like, a kid. - Okay. 850 00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:31,148 {\an1}- And I knew that I sucked then. 851 00:34:32,779 --> 00:34:35,319 {\an1}- I wanted bring Mitch to the softball field 852 00:34:35,447 --> 00:34:39,447 {\an1}because I spent the better part of a month 853 00:34:39,536 --> 00:34:41,996 {\an1}trying to be the best wife I can be, 854 00:34:42,121 --> 00:34:46,172 {\an1}and I did start to lose myself a little bit, 855 00:34:46,293 --> 00:34:50,303 {\an1}so I want to share with him my sporty side. 856 00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:51,922 {\an1}He hasn’t really got to see a lot of that yet, 857 00:34:52,007 --> 00:34:53,717 {\an1}and be able to be at a place 858 00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,469 {\an1}where I can share the younger version of myself with him 859 00:34:56,594 --> 00:34:58,555 {\an1}and why I am the way I am. 860 00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:02,850 {\an1}- So did you play other sports besides softball? 861 00:35:02,976 --> 00:35:07,856 {\an1}- Yeah, I ran track, played volleyball. 862 00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:09,941 {\an1}That was really it. Just those. 863 00:35:10,025 --> 00:35:11,825 {\an1}So did you play any sports growing up? 864 00:35:11,901 --> 00:35:13,571 {\an1}- Ah! 865 00:35:13,653 --> 00:35:15,533 {\an1}It’s really scary, you know, when you’re not used to it. 866 00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:19,025 {\an1}- Is Mitch the next Jackie Robinson? 867 00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:20,829 {\an1}♪ ♪ 868 00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:23,200 {\an1}- Ugh. 869 00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:25,160 {\an1}- Catching is not his strong suit... 870 00:35:25,248 --> 00:35:26,168 {\an1}- Ugh. 871 00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:28,421 {\an1}- By any means. 872 00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:30,041 {\an1}He’s decent at throwing. 873 00:35:30,170 --> 00:35:32,670 {\an1}♪ ♪ 874 00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,837 {\an1}Try to just a little more here. - Okay. 875 00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,344 {\an1}♪ ♪ 876 00:35:36,468 --> 00:35:37,838 {\an1}- Oh, my God. 877 00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:39,387 {\an1}Ah! 878 00:35:39,512 --> 00:35:40,892 {\an1}Just try to get it over the plate. 879 00:35:41,014 --> 00:35:42,064 {\an1}- Okay. 880 00:35:42,182 --> 00:35:43,392 {\an1}♪ ♪ 881 00:35:43,516 --> 00:35:46,556 {\an1}Sorry--it’s ’cause I don’t have an umpire. 882 00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:47,896 {\an1}- He surprised me with hitting. 883 00:35:48,021 --> 00:35:51,571 {\an1}I thought he did a decent job hitting and running the bases. 884 00:35:51,691 --> 00:35:53,361 {\an1}Yeah! 885 00:35:53,443 --> 00:35:55,243 {\an1}Mitch is not striking out today. 886 00:35:55,362 --> 00:35:56,402 {\an1}- [laughs] 887 00:35:56,529 --> 00:36:01,199 {\an1}- Mitch is getting, like, to first or second base. 888 00:36:01,326 --> 00:36:03,116 {\an1}That was good. 889 00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:07,583 {\an1}He gets a-- he gets a B minus from me. 890 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:11,587 {\an1}This field just brings me back to my childhood, 891 00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:14,381 {\an1}almost like the entirety of my childhood. 892 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,804 {\an1}And I have not negative memories, 893 00:36:17,884 --> 00:36:19,764 {\an1}but just definitely, like, emotional memories. 894 00:36:19,886 --> 00:36:20,966 {\an1}- Yeah. - Like-- 895 00:36:21,054 --> 00:36:24,434 {\an1}- Caring about a game or feeling the pressure-- 896 00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:29,057 {\an1}- More so, my parents were really hard on me, 897 00:36:29,145 --> 00:36:30,265 {\an1}and I was not allowed to make a mistake. 898 00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:33,607 {\an1}Like, I was--I knew if I struck out that I was gonna get 899 00:36:33,733 --> 00:36:34,943 {\an1}a talking to when I got home. 900 00:36:35,068 --> 00:36:36,148 {\an1}- Wow. - Yeah. 901 00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:39,946 {\an1}Typically, it would begin right in the car ride home. 902 00:36:40,073 --> 00:36:42,123 {\an1}- Was it more your dad or more your mom or was it equal? 903 00:36:42,242 --> 00:36:43,912 {\an1}- It was actually a little more of my mom. 904 00:36:43,993 --> 00:36:47,333 {\an1}No room for error, and not only on the softball field, 905 00:36:47,414 --> 00:36:49,294 {\an1}but also with my grades. 906 00:36:49,416 --> 00:36:52,586 {\an1}And sometime in high school, I can’t remember exactly when, 907 00:36:52,669 --> 00:36:54,459 {\an1}but my parents were like, 908 00:36:54,587 --> 00:36:56,627 {\an1}"So it’s time for you to get a job." 909 00:36:56,756 --> 00:36:58,466 {\an1}So I did. 910 00:36:58,591 --> 00:37:00,801 {\an1}And it came time where I had to decide 911 00:37:00,927 --> 00:37:03,467 {\an1}if I was gonna play softball or stay at the job, 912 00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:05,806 {\an1}and I chose the job. 913 00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:07,892 {\an1}- You chose to be a badass woman of real estate? 914 00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:09,096 {\an1}- Honestly, I regret it. 915 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:10,437 {\an1}- Oh, really? - Yeah. 916 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,270 {\an1}Because, looking back, I do wish 917 00:37:13,398 --> 00:37:16,278 {\an1}I had a little bit more time to be a kid. 918 00:37:16,401 --> 00:37:21,611 {\an1}I felt like a lot of pressure to be good at everything 919 00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:24,160 {\an1}and be the best. 920 00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:27,334 {\an1}And sometimes it’s hard to turn off 921 00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:31,464 {\an1}crazy perfectionist Krysten in my relationships. 922 00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:32,963 {\an1}- Mm. 923 00:37:33,084 --> 00:37:36,134 {\an1}- So anytime you or Dr. Pepper says 924 00:37:36,212 --> 00:37:37,092 {\an1}I’m being a little bit demanding, 925 00:37:37,172 --> 00:37:39,722 {\an1}it’s triggering, and I know it’s true. 926 00:37:39,799 --> 00:37:41,679 {\an1}So I, like, try to listen to that feedback. 927 00:37:41,801 --> 00:37:45,471 {\an1}So keep letting me know if I do it 928 00:37:45,555 --> 00:37:47,105 {\an1}and know just where it comes from. 929 00:37:47,182 --> 00:37:50,022 {\an1}It just comes from growing up. 930 00:37:50,143 --> 00:37:51,693 {\an1}No room for error. 931 00:37:51,811 --> 00:37:53,811 {\an1}- That sounds hard. - It was hard. 932 00:37:53,938 --> 00:37:55,858 {\an1}- It’s so different than my upbringing. 933 00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:58,612 {\an1}Me as a kid, there was a large margin for error. 934 00:37:58,693 --> 00:38:01,203 {\an1}And I didn’t play group sports, 935 00:38:01,321 --> 00:38:04,871 {\an1}and I didn’t get great--good grades. 936 00:38:04,991 --> 00:38:06,581 {\an1}- Well, that’s so opposite-- - I didn’t play sports. 937 00:38:06,659 --> 00:38:07,539 {\an1}I had nothing. 938 00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,330 {\an1}I didn’t have a lot of structure. 939 00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:11,294 {\an1}- I mean, that’s so interesting. 940 00:38:11,372 --> 00:38:12,672 {\an1}It makes sense though 941 00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:15,879 {\an1}why sometimes when we have our disputes, 942 00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:19,052 {\an1}it’s because we had just totally different upbringings. 943 00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:22,882 {\an1}- Yeah. 944 00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:28,389 {\an1}- ♪ We can make this work ♪ 945 00:38:36,189 --> 00:38:37,519 {\an1}- Hi. - Hello. 946 00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,027 {\an1}So good to see you. - Likewise. 947 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:40,360 {\an1}Been a while. Really. 948 00:38:40,443 --> 00:38:42,653 {\an1}Fantastic to see you. - Yeah, it’s good to see you. 949 00:38:42,737 --> 00:38:44,197 {\an1}- And you as well. - Hi, Dr. Pepper. 950 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:45,910 {\an1}Welcome to our home. - Oh, my goodness, yeah. 951 00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,372 {\an1}- It’s good to see you. 952 00:38:47,492 --> 00:38:48,412 {\an1}- Oh, likewise. 953 00:38:48,535 --> 00:38:49,875 {\an1}- Is Santa coming? 954 00:38:49,953 --> 00:38:51,203 {\an1}[all laughing] 955 00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:52,867 {\an1}- Well, she had to bake cookies. 956 00:38:52,956 --> 00:38:54,366 {\an1}- We should get some milk. 957 00:38:54,499 --> 00:38:56,789 {\an1}You’re welcome to some if you’d like. 958 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,336 {\an1}- I will try them, but not right away... 959 00:38:58,419 --> 00:38:59,879 {\an1}- Okay. - ’Cause I have to... 960 00:38:59,963 --> 00:39:00,843 {\an1}- Yes. 961 00:39:00,922 --> 00:39:02,512 {\an1}- I have to be here on a mission, right? 962 00:39:02,590 --> 00:39:04,260 {\an1}- Gather your thoughts. Yes. 963 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,554 {\an1}- So my mission today... 964 00:39:05,635 --> 00:39:06,555 {\an1}- Yes. 965 00:39:06,678 --> 00:39:08,388 {\an1}- Is to be of service to your marriage. 966 00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:09,563 {\an1}- Okay. 967 00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:11,771 {\an1}- Which I understand is going pretty darn well. 968 00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:14,191 {\an1}- Yeah, I think so. - Yeah. 969 00:39:14,269 --> 00:39:15,229 {\an1}- Which is great. - Yeah. 970 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:16,403 {\an1}- I mean, I love that. 971 00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:17,611 {\an1}- Yeah. 972 00:39:17,730 --> 00:39:19,400 {\an1}- But since I wanna be useful, 973 00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:22,402 {\an1}one way is to help you go deeper 974 00:39:22,527 --> 00:39:26,357 {\an1}and to also help you with whatever the problems 975 00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:28,737 {\an1}are that you’re facing. - Yes. 976 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:33,287 {\an1}- For me, I’m still learning 977 00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:35,713 {\an1}how to not be defensive. 978 00:39:35,790 --> 00:39:37,080 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 979 00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:41,046 {\an1}- And it’s--it’s not, like, huge things. 980 00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:42,589 {\an1}Like, for example, the other day, I’m, like, 981 00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:46,594 {\an1}cooking eggs and, you know, I’m sautéing onions, 982 00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:50,886 {\an1}and Miguel walks in and he’s like, "You shouldn’t put 983 00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:53,222 {\an1}"the spinach in, like, yet. 984 00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:55,228 {\an1}You should sauté the onions more." 985 00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:56,770 {\an1}I just was immediately defensive. 986 00:39:56,895 --> 00:39:58,815 {\an1}- Yeah. - I’m insecure. 987 00:39:58,938 --> 00:40:00,148 {\an1}I’m not comfortable in the kitchen. 988 00:40:00,273 --> 00:40:02,113 {\an1}It’s just like, "How do I be a wife, 989 00:40:02,191 --> 00:40:03,441 {\an1}and how do I do it right?" 990 00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:05,608 {\an1}- I think you’re killing it for real. 991 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,527 {\an1}- Thanks. - Yeah. 992 00:40:07,614 --> 00:40:11,704 {\an1}- Which is wonderful to hear, and you need to believe it. 993 00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:12,834 {\an1}- Yes. 994 00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:14,452 {\an1}- So I see a couple of things. 995 00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,957 {\an1}First of all, judgment, but also 996 00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:19,001 {\an1}you fought very hard for control... 997 00:40:19,125 --> 00:40:20,075 {\an1}- Yes. - Over your own life 998 00:40:20,168 --> 00:40:22,288 {\an1}to be an independent adult 999 00:40:22,420 --> 00:40:25,130 {\an1}with your own values and lifestyle. 1000 00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:26,126 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 1001 00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,927 {\an1}- And so when you feel controlled at all, 1002 00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:31,300 {\an1}it’s gonna go deeper. - Yeah. 1003 00:40:31,429 --> 00:40:34,309 {\an1}- But you have to distinguish control from help. 1004 00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:35,472 {\an1}- Yeah. 1005 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:38,310 {\an1}- Nobody, least of all him, 1006 00:40:38,436 --> 00:40:40,186 {\an1}is gonna wanna put you in the position 1007 00:40:40,313 --> 00:40:42,613 {\an1}that you’ve worked so hard to get out. 1008 00:40:42,690 --> 00:40:45,030 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1009 00:40:45,151 --> 00:40:47,491 {\an1}Have you guys told each other you love each other? 1010 00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:56,164 {\an1}- No, not yet. 1011 00:40:56,287 --> 00:40:58,157 {\an1}- Well, I’ll tell you what I think about love. 1012 00:40:58,289 --> 00:40:59,169 {\an1}- Yeah. 1013 00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:02,460 {\an1}- I think you’ll be sure at some point, 1014 00:41:02,543 --> 00:41:05,673 {\an1}and then ten years from now, you’ll go like, 1015 00:41:05,797 --> 00:41:08,337 {\an1}"That wasn’t what this is." 1016 00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:11,046 {\an1}And then you’ll realize that you didn’t even know 1017 00:41:11,177 --> 00:41:13,047 {\an1}that there was that much more that could grow 1018 00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:14,349 {\an1}and it does. 1019 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:17,432 {\an1}- Aw, it’s beautiful. 1020 00:41:17,517 --> 00:41:19,517 {\an1}- We all love to hear, like, the ’I love you,’ 1021 00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:21,524 {\an1}but it’s very special to me 1022 00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:23,694 {\an1}’cause we haven’t said it to each other yet. 1023 00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:26,283 {\an1}So when I do say it, I just wanna make sure 1024 00:41:26,359 --> 00:41:29,149 {\an1}I’m not doing a disservice to her. 1025 00:41:29,237 --> 00:41:30,697 {\an1}And it’s important to me. It’s heavy. 1026 00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:32,362 {\an1}I’m a romantic at heart. 1027 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:36,040 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1028 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,080 {\an1}[upbeat music] 1029 00:41:39,205 --> 00:41:46,205 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1030 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:52,550 {\an1}- I wanted to bring you here because this area, 1031 00:41:52,677 --> 00:41:55,547 {\an1}I grew up here. My brother raised me. 1032 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:57,430 {\an1}We--we lived in some apartments over there, 1033 00:41:57,557 --> 00:41:59,677 {\an1}and my brother actually never came here. 1034 00:41:59,767 --> 00:42:01,387 {\an1}It would just be me and my friends, 1035 00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:03,479 {\an1}and we would hoop, just kinda kick it. 1036 00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:06,073 {\an1}We would be out here for like hours, 1037 00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,070 {\an1}and then I’d just walk to the house. 1038 00:42:08,151 --> 00:42:09,651 {\an1}I had to--I still had to get to the house 1039 00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:11,026 {\an1}before the street lights 1040 00:42:11,112 --> 00:42:12,572 {\an1}And so, when I would come out here 1041 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,485 {\an1}and just wanted to clear my head, 1042 00:42:13,573 --> 00:42:14,913 {\an1}and I’d just wait for my friends, 1043 00:42:15,033 --> 00:42:17,083 {\an1}I would always bring a kite here. 1044 00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:18,911 {\an1}I was big on kites. 1045 00:42:18,995 --> 00:42:22,045 {\an1}When I would fly a kite, I would kinda just zone out, 1046 00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:24,083 {\an1}and I would feel like I’m the kite. 1047 00:42:24,208 --> 00:42:26,418 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1048 00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:27,962 {\an1}- It’s a beautiful park. 1049 00:42:28,087 --> 00:42:30,587 {\an1}- Yeah, it’s--it’s nice. 1050 00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:33,055 {\an1}I feel like, you know, like this era 1051 00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:35,764 {\an1}at the time in my life, 1052 00:42:35,845 --> 00:42:37,935 {\an1}it was my first time getting exposure to the world. 1053 00:42:38,014 --> 00:42:40,604 {\an1}When I moved from Alabama, I had never left Alabama. 1054 00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:42,433 {\an1}Like I had just been in my neighborhood. 1055 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,770 {\an1}You ever hear kids be like, "I’ve never..." 1056 00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:47,064 {\an1}They go to another city that’s like 15 minutes away 1057 00:42:47,148 --> 00:42:48,148 {\an1}from their city, 1058 00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:50,114 {\an1}but they just normally stay in their own area? 1059 00:42:50,234 --> 00:42:51,494 {\an1}That was me. 1060 00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:54,281 {\an1}I remember, me and my brother slept in the same bed actually. 1061 00:42:54,363 --> 00:42:55,783 {\an1}He had this king-size bed 1062 00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:57,407 {\an1}that was way too big for the bedroom. 1063 00:42:57,492 --> 00:42:59,082 {\an1}Took up the entire bedroom. 1064 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,160 {\an1}He slept on one side, I slept on the other. 1065 00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:03,247 {\an1}- How--what’s your brother doing this time? 1066 00:43:03,331 --> 00:43:04,291 {\an1}- How old was he? 1067 00:43:04,373 --> 00:43:06,253 {\an1}He was only... 1068 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:09,504 {\an1}might have been 19. - Raising a 13 year old? 1069 00:43:09,629 --> 00:43:11,169 {\an1}- I got in trouble at school. 1070 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:14,627 {\an1}If I didn’t make good grades, if I was late, 1071 00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:19,257 {\an1}it kinda always went back to the old school spanking. 1072 00:43:19,347 --> 00:43:21,717 {\an1}It helped grow me for sure, 1073 00:43:21,808 --> 00:43:23,638 {\an1}but I would’ve totally wish he had done it 1074 00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:24,768 {\an1}a little differently, you know? 1075 00:43:24,852 --> 00:43:27,442 {\an1}- How did helped-- how did it help you grow? 1076 00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,279 {\an1}- Well, when I asked for help, my brother would be like, 1077 00:43:31,359 --> 00:43:32,649 {\an1}figure it out. - Oh. 1078 00:43:32,777 --> 00:43:33,737 {\an1}- That was his go-to, figure it out. 1079 00:43:33,820 --> 00:43:35,320 {\an1}I’m like, "Well, how do you figure it out?" 1080 00:43:35,446 --> 00:43:37,486 {\an1}"I don’t know. Figure it out." 1081 00:43:37,615 --> 00:43:42,325 {\an1}It trained my mind to get everything right, you know. 1082 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:44,043 {\an1}It’s nobody else’s responsibility 1083 00:43:44,163 --> 00:43:47,833 {\an1}to figure it out for you. Do it for you, you know? 1084 00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,497 {\an1}- Do you think that’s why you’re so hard on yourself 1085 00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:50,667 {\an1}when you don’t get things right? 1086 00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:51,843 {\an1}- Oh, hell yeah. 1087 00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:55,303 {\an1}I know for fact that’s why I’m so hard on myself. 1088 00:43:55,383 --> 00:43:57,843 {\an1}- I definitely learned why he tends to shut down 1089 00:43:57,969 --> 00:43:59,299 {\an1}and he doesn’t ask for help 1090 00:43:59,387 --> 00:44:01,177 {\an1}because he was always told to figure it out. 1091 00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:04,345 {\an1}And I think that helps me understand 1092 00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:05,675 {\an1}why we don’t think the same way 1093 00:44:05,768 --> 00:44:07,018 {\an1}and understand why some 1094 00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:08,525 {\an1}of our perspectives don’t match. 1095 00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:11,646 {\an1}I mean, it only makes sense. 1096 00:44:11,732 --> 00:44:14,032 {\an1}So you fly kites? - Yeah. 1097 00:44:14,110 --> 00:44:15,150 {\an1}- This is the thing that you do? 1098 00:44:15,236 --> 00:44:16,106 {\an1}- I did. 1099 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:18,605 {\an1}- When’s the last time you flew a kite? 1100 00:44:18,698 --> 00:44:21,448 {\an1}- It’s been over 10, probably 15 years. 1101 00:44:21,534 --> 00:44:22,994 {\an1}- ’Cause I’m about to say, you are 33. 1102 00:44:23,077 --> 00:44:26,287 {\an1}10 years, you 23 out here flying. 1103 00:44:26,372 --> 00:44:28,462 {\an1}I’m like that math not mathing. 1104 00:44:28,541 --> 00:44:30,041 {\an1}- Probably like when I was 16, maybe. 1105 00:44:30,168 --> 00:44:31,538 {\an1}- Okay. - Yeah. 1106 00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:33,209 {\an1}It--it was fun, it was fun. 1107 00:44:33,296 --> 00:44:35,046 {\an1}I did bring a kite with me today 1108 00:44:35,131 --> 00:44:37,261 {\an1}and I wanna go and get it. 1109 00:44:37,383 --> 00:44:39,593 {\an1}- Go, please. - All right. 1110 00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:41,259 {\an1}- I didn’t think I would be flying a kite 1111 00:44:41,387 --> 00:44:43,057 {\an1}in the park with my husband. 1112 00:44:43,181 --> 00:44:44,931 {\an1}I’ll tell you that much. 1113 00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:46,387 {\an1}You ready? - Yep. 1114 00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:47,557 {\an1}- All right. 1115 00:44:47,643 --> 00:44:48,733 {\an1}- Set. - Go. 1116 00:44:48,853 --> 00:44:52,153 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1117 00:44:52,231 --> 00:44:55,071 {\an1}Like it just--it’s just weird. Like, I don’t know. 1118 00:44:55,151 --> 00:44:57,241 {\an1}Like, I love that my husband’s sensitive, 1119 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,410 {\an1}but, oh, honey, all right, honey. 1120 00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:02,911 {\an1}That’s my husband. I’m like, that’s him. 1121 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:04,954 {\an1}Accept him for who he is. 1122 00:45:05,077 --> 00:45:06,577 {\an1}That’s all I gotta do. 1123 00:45:06,704 --> 00:45:08,754 {\an1}You’re doing it, great job. 1124 00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:10,503 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1125 00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:12,673 {\an1}- Think I can climb up there? 1126 00:45:12,752 --> 00:45:13,752 {\an1}- Absolutely not. 1127 00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:15,048 {\an1}- No? 1128 00:45:15,129 --> 00:45:23,219 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1129 00:45:27,099 --> 00:45:29,519 {\an1}- So I went to visit Mommy, 1130 00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:31,652 {\an1}and she-- - Mommy? 1131 00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:34,521 {\an1}- Mama has a big suitcase full of photos, 1132 00:45:34,607 --> 00:45:35,687 {\an1}so... - Wow. 1133 00:45:35,775 --> 00:45:37,535 {\an1}- Wanna take a little trip through my life? 1134 00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:39,860 {\an1}- Yeah. 1135 00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:43,116 {\an1}- This is some pictures of, this is-- 1136 00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:44,831 {\an1}- I wonder who this one is? 1137 00:45:44,951 --> 00:45:47,041 {\an1}- This is--my mom told me this is basically 1138 00:45:47,119 --> 00:45:48,369 {\an1}right after the divorce, 1139 00:45:48,454 --> 00:45:50,834 {\an1}so you can see, I look a little... 1140 00:45:50,957 --> 00:45:51,707 {\an1}- Staring off into the distance. 1141 00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:52,881 {\an1}- Look a little sad, right? 1142 00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:53,789 {\an1}Yeah. - Yeah. 1143 00:45:53,918 --> 00:45:57,248 {\an1}- That’s what I-- - What year is that? 1144 00:45:57,338 --> 00:45:59,208 {\an1}- Maybe ’83 or ’84. - Okay. 1145 00:45:59,298 --> 00:46:00,718 {\an1}- Yeah. 1146 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,970 {\an1}I hope sharing today is giving Krysten 1147 00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:04,432 {\an1}a deeper insight into who I am. 1148 00:46:04,512 --> 00:46:06,222 {\an1}I mean, luckily there’s a lot of things 1149 00:46:06,305 --> 00:46:09,215 {\an1}that she respects about me and really likes about. 1150 00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:10,728 {\an1}But there’s some stuff that she doesn’t, 1151 00:46:10,810 --> 00:46:13,060 {\an1}and I want her to have more context 1152 00:46:13,145 --> 00:46:15,395 {\an1}on why I act the way I do. 1153 00:46:15,481 --> 00:46:17,441 {\an1}And I just wanna share with her, you know. 1154 00:46:17,525 --> 00:46:19,995 {\an1}This is a picture I found from after the earthquake in-- 1155 00:46:20,111 --> 00:46:21,361 {\an1}- Oh, my God. 1156 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:24,447 {\an1}- In ’94, we lived my--me and my brother 1157 00:46:24,532 --> 00:46:28,742 {\an1}lived with my dad in a condo in Sherman Oaks, California. 1158 00:46:28,828 --> 00:46:30,158 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 1159 00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,156 {\an1}- And the Northridge earthquake of ’94 1160 00:46:32,290 --> 00:46:33,170 {\an1}ruined our house-- - Wow. 1161 00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:34,751 {\an1}- And we actually had to move out, yeah. 1162 00:46:34,834 --> 00:46:36,254 {\an1}- My God. 1163 00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:37,745 {\an1}- My brother’s bunk bed actually fell on me. 1164 00:46:37,837 --> 00:46:39,707 {\an1}Luckily, like, it only fell partly... 1165 00:46:39,839 --> 00:46:41,419 {\an1}- Yeah. - And it didn’t crush me. 1166 00:46:41,507 --> 00:46:43,927 {\an1}And I just remember being so scared. 1167 00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:46,090 {\an1}And my dad, during the earthquake, 1168 00:46:46,178 --> 00:46:47,638 {\an1}he was actually running down the hallway 1169 00:46:47,722 --> 00:46:48,932 {\an1}to try to get to us. 1170 00:46:49,015 --> 00:46:51,275 {\an1}I thought he was kinda, like, heroic. 1171 00:46:51,350 --> 00:46:53,100 {\an1}- Yeah. - Yeah. 1172 00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:56,605 {\an1}My father died in January 2014, 1173 00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:57,689 {\an1}and it’s hard for me 1174 00:46:57,815 --> 00:47:01,895 {\an1}because I feel bad that my dad isn’t here with us 1175 00:47:02,028 --> 00:47:04,528 {\an1}to have experienced this part of my life. 1176 00:47:04,655 --> 00:47:06,655 {\an1}My marriage, he would’ve ultimately 1177 00:47:06,741 --> 00:47:08,081 {\an1}really liked Krysten. 1178 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,830 {\an1}And you know, I just hope he’s proud 1179 00:47:10,911 --> 00:47:13,121 {\an1}of the decisions I’ve made. 1180 00:47:13,205 --> 00:47:15,285 {\an1}I hope he’s proud of his son. 1181 00:47:15,374 --> 00:47:17,294 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1182 00:47:17,376 --> 00:47:18,246 {\an1}- It’s nice to see your dad. 1183 00:47:18,377 --> 00:47:19,417 {\an1}I mean, you’ve talked about him, 1184 00:47:19,545 --> 00:47:21,295 {\an1}but I’ve never seen a photo of him, so... 1185 00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:22,920 {\an1}- Yeah, it’s funny ’cause, you know, 1186 00:47:23,049 --> 00:47:25,469 {\an1}you can’t help but run through memory lane. 1187 00:47:25,551 --> 00:47:27,091 {\an1}You know, I looked at me and my mom, 1188 00:47:27,219 --> 00:47:28,599 {\an1}we were looking through his photos too. 1189 00:47:28,721 --> 00:47:31,641 {\an1}And I was asking her about 1190 00:47:31,724 --> 00:47:33,774 {\an1}when I started becoming rebellious 1191 00:47:33,893 --> 00:47:35,063 {\an1}after my parents’ divorce. 1192 00:47:35,186 --> 00:47:39,106 {\an1}And she always has this story about how the day--you know, 1193 00:47:39,231 --> 00:47:41,481 {\an1}the day my dad left was like on a Saturday, 1194 00:47:41,567 --> 00:47:44,817 {\an1}and that following Monday when I went to school, 1195 00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:47,494 {\an1}that’s when I started being frustrated, 1196 00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:49,993 {\an1}and that would turn to anger. 1197 00:47:50,076 --> 00:47:52,536 {\an1}So I was definitely the troublemaker as a kid, 1198 00:47:52,620 --> 00:47:54,580 {\an1}you know, me and my latchkey friends, 1199 00:47:54,705 --> 00:47:56,495 {\an1}just running around, terrorizing the neighborhood. 1200 00:47:56,582 --> 00:47:58,882 {\an1}I almost got-- just kept back breaks. 1201 00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:02,499 {\an1}I failed my classes, you know, I didn’t have that structure. 1202 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,758 {\an1}So growing up, I didn’t have discipline. 1203 00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:07,342 {\an1}I didn’t have respect, you know, I thought I knew-- 1204 00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:09,136 {\an1}I thought I knew what was best. 1205 00:48:09,261 --> 00:48:10,511 {\an1}- Right. - And I didn’t. 1206 00:48:10,596 --> 00:48:14,176 {\an1}I probably rejected a lot of help. 1207 00:48:14,266 --> 00:48:15,636 {\an1}- Yeah. 1208 00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:17,188 {\an1}- I don’t know. 1209 00:48:17,269 --> 00:48:20,309 {\an1}- We’ve had high highs, low lows. 1210 00:48:20,439 --> 00:48:23,439 {\an1}And I wish during those low lows 1211 00:48:23,526 --> 00:48:26,486 {\an1}that I already knew where he came from 1212 00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:30,122 {\an1}and how where he came from affected him. 1213 00:48:30,199 --> 00:48:35,659 {\an1}I feel like I would have been more patient. 1214 00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:38,618 {\an1}I think it created a soft spot 1215 00:48:38,749 --> 00:48:41,379 {\an1}that wasn’t really there before. 1216 00:48:41,460 --> 00:48:47,630 {\an1}- ♪ I have finally found the one ♪ 1217 00:48:47,758 --> 00:48:54,768 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1218 00:48:56,308 --> 00:48:59,138 {\an1}- "To Stacia or Sweet Pea." 1219 00:48:59,228 --> 00:49:00,938 {\an1}That was my nickname. 1220 00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:04,862 {\an1}Why are you looking at me like that? 1221 00:49:04,984 --> 00:49:06,404 {\an1}- I’m listening. 1222 00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:10,855 {\an1}- Okay, "If I could first give advice 1223 00:49:10,990 --> 00:49:14,450 {\an1}"to Stacia as a first grader through like elementary. 1224 00:49:14,535 --> 00:49:16,165 {\an1}Changing schools will be tough. 1225 00:49:16,287 --> 00:49:18,247 {\an1}Meeting new people, knowing you are very shy, 1226 00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:19,160 {\an1}will seem difficult, 1227 00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:20,918 {\an1}but you will meet the right friends 1228 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,250 {\an1}that will last lifetime. 1229 00:49:22,334 --> 00:49:24,254 {\an1}Don’t worry about fitting in. 1230 00:49:24,336 --> 00:49:27,256 {\an1}You are made to stand out and stand on your own. 1231 00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:31,339 {\an1}It’s not about being popular. You will get picked on, 1232 00:49:31,427 --> 00:49:33,217 {\an1}it’s just part of growing up. 1233 00:49:33,345 --> 00:49:35,555 {\an1}Now, Stacia, as a high schooler, 1234 00:49:35,681 --> 00:49:38,271 {\an1}this is when you will start to grow into a woman, 1235 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:39,350 {\an1}stay strong. 1236 00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:42,025 {\an1}You’re going to start challenging authority, 1237 00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:43,564 {\an1}not in a bad way, but in a way 1238 00:49:43,689 --> 00:49:45,609 {\an1}that will allow you to live your own life. 1239 00:49:45,691 --> 00:49:47,531 {\an1}Continue to live in your truth. 1240 00:49:47,651 --> 00:49:49,191 {\an1}You are going to be surprised 1241 00:49:49,320 --> 00:49:51,030 {\an1}at what the future holds for you." 1242 00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:55,163 {\an1}- Jeez, that was nice. 1243 00:49:55,242 --> 00:49:57,452 {\an1}All right. 1244 00:49:57,536 --> 00:50:01,996 {\an1}"Nathan, this is you writing to yourself from the future. 1245 00:50:02,082 --> 00:50:04,542 {\an1}Your first year, moving back to the States 1246 00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:07,167 {\an1}will give you a feeling of feeling different. 1247 00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:09,844 {\an1}Embrace your unique talents and way of thinking, 1248 00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:12,264 {\an1}and choose your hobbies and passions. 1249 00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:15,804 {\an1}Don’t let your friends or even Dad choose them for you 1250 00:50:15,888 --> 00:50:17,758 {\an1}and learn to control your temper. 1251 00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:18,930 {\an1}It’s not healthy, 1252 00:50:19,058 --> 00:50:22,308 {\an1}and you’ll get into unnecessary trouble in school. 1253 00:50:22,394 --> 00:50:25,274 {\an1}At age 14, you’ll be in high school. 1254 00:50:25,397 --> 00:50:27,317 {\an1}Dad will divorce Maria, 1255 00:50:27,399 --> 00:50:30,779 {\an1}and you’ll be very quiet your freshman year. 1256 00:50:30,903 --> 00:50:33,413 {\an1}You need to snap out of your introverted self 1257 00:50:33,531 --> 00:50:36,741 {\an1}and do extracurricular activities with other kids. 1258 00:50:36,825 --> 00:50:38,155 {\an1}Just do your homework. 1259 00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:39,664 {\an1}You’re smarter than the smartest kid 1260 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:40,905 {\an1}in all of the grades. 1261 00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:44,788 {\an1}You have the ability to bend the universe and command it. 1262 00:50:44,917 --> 00:50:45,997 {\an1}There’s just a time delay. 1263 00:50:46,085 --> 00:50:49,425 {\an1}Listen to your inner voice when there’s chaos, 1264 00:50:49,547 --> 00:50:50,667 {\an1}I’m already proud of you. 1265 00:50:50,756 --> 00:50:51,796 {\an1}Talk to you later." 1266 00:50:51,924 --> 00:50:53,344 {\an1}- Aww. 1267 00:50:53,425 --> 00:50:54,925 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1268 00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,762 {\an1}How was it for you, writing that? 1269 00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:00,766 {\an1}- It was interesting what I was highlighting, 1270 00:51:00,849 --> 00:51:01,809 {\an1}you know what I mean? 1271 00:51:01,934 --> 00:51:06,274 {\an1}Because I’ve always felt different since age six, 1272 00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:10,035 {\an1}because I wasn’t the typical American boy 1273 00:51:10,109 --> 00:51:11,489 {\an1}growing up in the apartment complex. 1274 00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:14,950 {\an1}I was the weird European Black kid 1275 00:51:15,072 --> 00:51:18,162 {\an1}that was wearing shorts above his kneecaps. 1276 00:51:18,284 --> 00:51:19,874 {\an1}you know what I’m saying? - Yeah. 1277 00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:22,002 {\an1}- And it’s like my freshman year in high school, 1278 00:51:22,121 --> 00:51:23,541 {\an1}like, I was very quiet. 1279 00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:26,002 {\an1}- Yeah, why? ’Cause of the divorce? 1280 00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:27,385 {\an1}- Probably the divorce. 1281 00:51:27,459 --> 00:51:29,289 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1282 00:51:29,378 --> 00:51:31,708 {\an1}And then just like me going into high school, 1283 00:51:31,797 --> 00:51:34,297 {\an1}I was kinda, like, awkward. 1284 00:51:34,383 --> 00:51:36,383 {\an1}It was like an awkward chapter for me, you know? 1285 00:51:36,468 --> 00:51:39,718 {\an1}Like I was like more introverted at that time. 1286 00:51:39,805 --> 00:51:41,635 {\an1}- I was like shy as a child. 1287 00:51:41,724 --> 00:51:43,394 {\an1}- Really? - Like, really shy. 1288 00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:44,845 {\an1}- Yeah. - Yeah. 1289 00:51:44,977 --> 00:51:47,307 {\an1}- Like eat by myself at lunch. - Really? 1290 00:51:47,438 --> 00:51:48,308 {\an1}- Yeah, just-- 1291 00:51:48,397 --> 00:51:50,147 {\an1}- You didn’t hang out with cool kids? 1292 00:51:50,274 --> 00:51:53,194 {\an1}- Mm-mm, there were times where I was like in school 1293 00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:56,029 {\an1}where I wanted to be popular or wanted to, you know, 1294 00:51:56,155 --> 00:51:58,825 {\an1}be in the in crowd, but... - Right. 1295 00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:02,117 {\an1}- It wasn’t worth it. - Yeah, same. 1296 00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,702 {\an1}- I’m actually, you know, very surprised 1297 00:52:04,830 --> 00:52:06,540 {\an1}at how deep Nate is going. 1298 00:52:06,665 --> 00:52:08,075 {\an1}He’s really sharing a lot. 1299 00:52:08,167 --> 00:52:09,747 {\an1}He’s really sharing his thoughts. 1300 00:52:09,835 --> 00:52:13,415 {\an1}And I feel like he’s communicating with me 1301 00:52:13,505 --> 00:52:16,715 {\an1}on a level of intimacy that I didn’t think 1302 00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:18,592 {\an1}was possible for him. 1303 00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:20,637 {\an1}I’ve been waiting for this moment, 1304 00:52:20,721 --> 00:52:22,431 {\an1}and I’m just really excited 1305 00:52:22,514 --> 00:52:23,934 {\an1}for what the future holds for us. 1306 00:52:24,016 --> 00:52:32,396 {\an1}- ♪ Together to the end, my darling ♪ 1307 00:52:36,403 --> 00:52:37,823 {\an1}- Oh, hey. - Hey, guys. 1308 00:52:37,905 --> 00:52:38,705 {\an1}- How’s it going? - Hello? 1309 00:52:38,822 --> 00:52:39,992 {\an1}- How are you? - We’re doing well. 1310 00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:41,204 {\an1}How are you? - I’m Megan. What’s your name? 1311 00:52:41,283 --> 00:52:43,033 {\an1}- I’m Miguel. Nice to meet you. - Miguel, 1312 00:52:43,118 --> 00:52:44,038 {\an1}- Nice to meet you. How are you guys today? 1313 00:52:44,119 --> 00:52:45,199 {\an1}- Good. Yeah. - Doing great, yeah. 1314 00:52:45,287 --> 00:52:46,577 {\an1}- Awesome, so we’re gonna be doing 1315 00:52:46,705 --> 00:52:48,665 {\an1}a little bit of swing today. It’s upbeat, fun dance. 1316 00:52:48,749 --> 00:52:50,209 {\an1}Do we have any dance experience? 1317 00:52:50,292 --> 00:52:51,212 {\an1}- I’ve gone a few times, 1318 00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:53,385 {\an1}but like, I usually just let the guy lead, 1319 00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:54,844 {\an1}so I really don’t know what I’m doing. 1320 00:52:54,922 --> 00:52:55,802 {\an1}- That’s good. 1321 00:52:55,881 --> 00:52:57,091 {\an1}Being a good follow is like half of it 1322 00:52:57,216 --> 00:52:59,756 {\an1}is most of it, and being a good lead is most of it. 1323 00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:01,715 {\an1}So we’ll definitely learn that today. 1324 00:53:01,804 --> 00:53:04,394 {\an1}- Dancing it kinda, to me, represents 1325 00:53:04,473 --> 00:53:06,563 {\an1}like freedom from being educated 1326 00:53:06,684 --> 00:53:09,564 {\an1}in such strict institutions growing up. 1327 00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:10,565 {\an1}We weren’t allowed to dance 1328 00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:12,396 {\an1}all through high school or college. 1329 00:53:12,481 --> 00:53:15,981 {\an1}So I think it’s important that Miguel appreciates 1330 00:53:16,068 --> 00:53:18,648 {\an1}the parts of me that are very free and easygoing 1331 00:53:18,737 --> 00:53:21,237 {\an1}because it--it wasn’t, it was a hard journey to get there. 1332 00:53:21,323 --> 00:53:24,413 {\an1}But the more I get to explain, I think the more 1333 00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:25,915 {\an1}he understands the depth of it. 1334 00:53:25,994 --> 00:53:29,544 {\an1}- We have rock, step, step. 1335 00:53:29,623 --> 00:53:31,963 {\an1}Step, good, rock, step. 1336 00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:33,754 {\an1}We step to the right and then the left. 1337 00:53:33,877 --> 00:53:35,247 {\an1}All right. Let’s put you guys together. 1338 00:53:35,337 --> 00:53:38,087 {\an1}[upbeat music] 1339 00:53:38,215 --> 00:53:39,585 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1340 00:53:39,675 --> 00:53:41,345 {\an1}Nice. Don’t look at your feet. 1341 00:53:41,427 --> 00:53:43,427 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1342 00:53:43,512 --> 00:53:45,602 {\an1}They’ll still be there, I promise. 1343 00:53:45,681 --> 00:53:49,771 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1344 00:53:49,852 --> 00:53:51,522 {\an1}Feels good. Not so scary once you get started. 1345 00:53:51,603 --> 00:53:53,613 {\an1}- You’re not in rhythm. 1346 00:53:53,689 --> 00:53:56,269 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1347 00:53:56,358 --> 00:53:58,108 {\an1}Perfect. 1348 00:53:58,235 --> 00:54:00,105 {\an1}Pull her back, yes. 1349 00:54:00,195 --> 00:54:05,945 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1350 00:54:06,034 --> 00:54:10,124 {\an1}- [humming] I gonna now that song stuck in my head forever. 1351 00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:11,117 {\an1}That was really fun. - That was fun. 1352 00:54:11,248 --> 00:54:12,578 {\an1}- Thank you for doing that with me. 1353 00:54:12,666 --> 00:54:13,416 {\an1}- Thank you for having me. 1354 00:54:13,500 --> 00:54:15,630 {\an1}Thank you for inviting me to this. 1355 00:54:15,711 --> 00:54:21,171 {\an1}- For me, it’s definitely, like, empowering to be dancing. 1356 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:23,470 {\an1}’Cause, like, I think I’ve told you this before. 1357 00:54:23,552 --> 00:54:25,602 {\an1}Like, our first dance literally at the wedding 1358 00:54:25,679 --> 00:54:26,969 {\an1}was like the first time 1359 00:54:27,055 --> 00:54:29,635 {\an1}I probably really like formally danced with someone else. 1360 00:54:29,767 --> 00:54:31,137 {\an1}Like in my schools growing up, 1361 00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:32,846 {\an1}we weren’t allowed to dance at all, like, 1362 00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:34,688 {\an1}any kind of dancing. 1363 00:54:34,813 --> 00:54:36,693 {\an1}I don’t really understand it. 1364 00:54:36,815 --> 00:54:39,315 {\an1}I guess it’s just, to me, it doesn’t make sense 1365 00:54:39,401 --> 00:54:40,651 {\an1}because like, there was so much dancing 1366 00:54:40,736 --> 00:54:43,486 {\an1}in the Bible and stuff, it seems like there’s dancing. 1367 00:54:43,572 --> 00:54:45,122 {\an1}- There’s partying in the Bible, yeah. 1368 00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:50,499 {\an1}- Yeah, but I guess it’s just a sexual thing maybe 1369 00:54:50,579 --> 00:54:52,459 {\an1}that they think would lead to-- - Sure-- 1370 00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:54,079 {\an1}- Or just inappropriate. I really don’t know. 1371 00:54:54,166 --> 00:54:55,456 {\an1}And I feel bad that I’m speaking 1372 00:54:55,542 --> 00:54:57,882 {\an1}for a denomination that I was raised in, 1373 00:54:58,003 --> 00:54:59,093 {\an1}but, I just, I can’t tell you, I don’t know why-- 1374 00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:00,341 {\an1}- This is your perspective-- - I really don’t know-- 1375 00:55:00,422 --> 00:55:01,632 {\an1}- Yeah, I’m listening. - I really don’t know. 1376 00:55:01,715 --> 00:55:02,875 {\an1}- I’m listening to your-- - It makes no sense to me. 1377 00:55:03,008 --> 00:55:04,878 {\an1}And that’s why I’m happy I’m able to dance 1378 00:55:05,010 --> 00:55:06,550 {\an1}and have fun and... 1379 00:55:06,678 --> 00:55:07,508 {\an1}- You’re a natural dancer. 1380 00:55:07,596 --> 00:55:08,846 {\an1}You’re tearing it up on the floor. 1381 00:55:08,972 --> 00:55:09,852 {\an1}- It was really fun. 1382 00:55:09,973 --> 00:55:11,683 {\an1}- Have you ever seen your parents dance? 1383 00:55:11,767 --> 00:55:13,347 {\an1}- No, I’ve never seen my parents dance, 1384 00:55:13,435 --> 00:55:15,015 {\an1}and I’ve never seen my parents drink. 1385 00:55:15,103 --> 00:55:16,523 {\an1}- Wow. - Yeah. 1386 00:55:16,605 --> 00:55:18,365 {\an1}Yeah, they’re just very conservative. 1387 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:23,030 {\an1}Like my--my parents have never eaten pork in front of me. 1388 00:55:23,111 --> 00:55:25,741 {\an1}- Are you allowed to eat shellfish? 1389 00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:28,204 {\an1}- No, no seafood, shellfish, yeah, no. 1390 00:55:28,283 --> 00:55:29,453 {\an1}- Man. - Yeah. 1391 00:55:29,535 --> 00:55:31,755 {\an1}- Well, cheers to different times. 1392 00:55:31,870 --> 00:55:35,710 {\an1}- Cheers to wine and sushi and dancing. 1393 00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:37,541 {\an1}- When I hear about Lindy’s childhood, 1394 00:55:37,626 --> 00:55:40,626 {\an1}it makes me feel sad for her, 1395 00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:44,722 {\an1}but she has fought to not let that control 1396 00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:46,890 {\an1}who she is and her future. 1397 00:55:46,969 --> 00:55:50,259 {\an1}Similar to me, like, we both made it a point 1398 00:55:50,389 --> 00:55:53,849 {\an1}to be in a better place and to remove ourselves 1399 00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:57,064 {\an1}from our childhood and our upbringing. 1400 00:55:57,145 --> 00:56:01,225 {\an1}- I do have something I will share it with you. 1401 00:56:01,358 --> 00:56:04,568 {\an1}You know, my parents had just divorced. 1402 00:56:04,695 --> 00:56:05,745 {\an1}I was, like, in eighth grade. 1403 00:56:05,821 --> 00:56:08,411 {\an1}It was the summer before going to boarding school. 1404 00:56:08,490 --> 00:56:13,750 {\an1}So this is set when I’m like around age 13, 14. 1405 00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:16,921 {\an1}Lindy, I know you don’t know who you are 1406 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,420 {\an1}or who you want to be. 1407 00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:20,750 {\an1}Growing up is hard on all of us. 1408 00:56:20,878 --> 00:56:23,128 {\an1}I’m not sorry. 1409 00:56:23,255 --> 00:56:25,475 {\an1}I’m not sorry you’re homesick 1410 00:56:25,591 --> 00:56:29,091 {\an1}and being raised by your other 14-year-old friends. 1411 00:56:29,177 --> 00:56:32,427 {\an1}You are out of a toxic home situation. 1412 00:56:32,514 --> 00:56:36,184 {\an1}You’re exactly where you need to be. 1413 00:56:36,268 --> 00:56:38,598 {\an1}I know it’s scary and painful to be alone 1414 00:56:38,687 --> 00:56:39,647 {\an1}in a new environment, 1415 00:56:39,771 --> 00:56:42,691 {\an1}especially when your home life just imploded 1416 00:56:42,774 --> 00:56:45,284 {\an1}and you don’t have a phone to call home. 1417 00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:47,450 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1418 00:56:47,529 --> 00:56:50,449 {\an1}Here is why I don’t feel bad for you. 1419 00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:53,282 {\an1}You are about to meet your long life friends. 1420 00:56:53,368 --> 00:56:56,118 {\an1}The pain and fear and uncertainty you’re feeling 1421 00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:58,536 {\an1}is what is going to help drive you 1422 00:56:58,624 --> 00:57:00,754 {\an1}to the most healthy outlets. 1423 00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:04,464 {\an1}Believe me, you are exactly where you need to be. 1424 00:57:04,546 --> 00:57:07,256 {\an1}Each tear that falls is helping you grow 1425 00:57:07,341 --> 00:57:09,131 {\an1}to the woman you are going to be. 1426 00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,469 {\an1}I’m so proud of you. - Mm-hmm, yeah. 1427 00:57:11,553 --> 00:57:12,973 {\an1}- I was so homesick. 1428 00:57:13,055 --> 00:57:15,975 {\an1}Like, it was so hard, like, moving out at 14, 1429 00:57:16,058 --> 00:57:18,808 {\an1}especially with such a turbulent home environment 1430 00:57:18,894 --> 00:57:19,814 {\an1}that I was leaving. 1431 00:57:19,895 --> 00:57:22,195 {\an1}It was such a-- yeah, it was a really, 1432 00:57:22,314 --> 00:57:25,324 {\an1}a really strange--strange transition, really tough time. 1433 00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:29,650 {\an1}- You know, I’m very curious and eager to see 1434 00:57:29,780 --> 00:57:32,450 {\an1}how, eventually, we start a family 1435 00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:34,332 {\an1}and how we raise our kids, 1436 00:57:34,409 --> 00:57:37,869 {\an1}because I feel like we’ve--we’ve been dealt 1437 00:57:37,996 --> 00:57:39,826 {\an1}kind of like a difficult hand early on, 1438 00:57:39,957 --> 00:57:45,167 {\an1}then coming out, hardened from those experiences, 1439 00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:48,513 {\an1}but not turned off from life. 1440 00:57:48,590 --> 00:57:51,130 {\an1}I think I’m--I’m really curious and--and excited. 1441 00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:52,838 {\an1}- ♪ I don’t want to close my eyes ♪ 1442 00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:56,760 {\an1}♪ I’m not leaving paradise without you ♪ 1443 00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:01,604 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1444 00:58:01,687 --> 00:58:05,817 {\an1}- Final stop in the tomb raider tour, 2022, 1445 00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:08,689 {\an1}is the one and the only... 1446 00:58:08,777 --> 00:58:10,777 {\an1}- Stanley Silverstein. 1447 00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:13,362 {\an1}- My dad, the man, the myth, the legend. 1448 00:58:13,448 --> 00:58:14,448 {\an1}You know, it’s been a really long time 1449 00:58:14,533 --> 00:58:16,163 {\an1}since I’ve been here, and it feels really good 1450 00:58:16,243 --> 00:58:18,043 {\an1}to--to be here, to bring you. 1451 00:58:18,161 --> 00:58:19,501 {\an1}I’m so happy that you’re here with me. 1452 00:58:19,579 --> 00:58:22,369 {\an1}- Of course. I wouldn’t miss it. 1453 00:58:22,457 --> 00:58:24,207 {\an1}- I guess if I had any regrets, 1454 00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:27,302 {\an1}I do wish I would’ve told him that I was proud of him 1455 00:58:27,379 --> 00:58:29,919 {\an1}as much as he told me that he was proud of me. 1456 00:58:30,048 --> 00:58:31,878 {\an1}It’s good to be here. 1457 00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:33,547 {\an1}- He knows you’re proud of him. 1458 00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:35,465 {\an1}- And Dad, this is my wife, Krysten. 1459 00:58:35,554 --> 00:58:37,434 {\an1}- Hi, nice to meet you. 1460 00:58:37,556 --> 00:58:39,426 {\an1}- Yeah, I think you’d like her. 1461 00:58:39,558 --> 00:58:41,058 {\an1}She’s spicy. 1462 00:58:41,143 --> 00:58:42,693 {\an1}She’s a spicy one. 1463 00:58:42,769 --> 00:58:45,439 {\an1}You know, like if anything, I wish my dad 1464 00:58:45,564 --> 00:58:47,904 {\an1}could’ve seen me get married. 1465 00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:51,403 {\an1}He would’ve definitely got a kick out of the way 1466 00:58:51,486 --> 00:58:55,066 {\an1}we got married, and that just would’ve made him so happy. 1467 00:58:55,157 --> 00:58:58,237 {\an1}Yeah, so Stan Silverstein. 1468 00:58:58,368 --> 00:59:03,748 {\an1}Love you, Dad. 1469 00:59:03,832 --> 00:59:06,672 {\an1}♪ 1470 00:59:06,752 --> 00:59:08,632 {\an1}♪ 1471 00:59:08,754 --> 00:59:11,264 {\an1}- This is it. The tree was different. 1472 00:59:11,339 --> 00:59:14,129 {\an1}And you know, my-- my best friends lived 1473 00:59:14,259 --> 00:59:15,969 {\an1}right there across the street. 1474 00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:16,974 {\an1}- How long did you live here? 1475 00:59:17,095 --> 00:59:18,635 {\an1}- We lived here for about five years. 1476 00:59:18,764 --> 00:59:21,104 {\an1}My dad got separated with Maria, 1477 00:59:21,224 --> 00:59:24,444 {\an1}so, like, we moved to an-- into an apartment complex 1478 00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:26,099 {\an1}my freshman year. 1479 00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,228 {\an1}So yeah, so 9 until, like, around 14. 1480 00:59:28,315 --> 00:59:29,945 {\an1}Yeah. You know, I want her 1481 00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,147 {\an1}to understand who I am. 1482 00:59:31,276 --> 00:59:34,896 {\an1}I want her to understand how I think and perceive life 1483 00:59:34,988 --> 00:59:36,488 {\an1}because she’s my wife, 1484 00:59:36,615 --> 00:59:38,875 {\an1}and for her not to understand me-- 1485 00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:41,450 {\an1}that would be a disservice for our future together. 1486 00:59:41,536 --> 00:59:43,326 {\an1}- What is, like, one of your best memories 1487 00:59:43,455 --> 00:59:45,005 {\an1}with you and your dad here? 1488 00:59:45,123 --> 00:59:46,423 {\an1}- My best memories. 1489 00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:49,630 {\an1}- Or one memory that you can recall. 1490 00:59:49,711 --> 00:59:53,261 {\an1}- My dad--he let me, like, you know, meet other kids. 1491 00:59:53,340 --> 00:59:54,630 {\an1}He wasn’t, like, super strict. 1492 00:59:54,758 --> 00:59:56,798 {\an1}So yeah, it was good times here. 1493 00:59:56,927 --> 00:59:58,547 {\an1}- Good times. - Yeah. 1494 00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:00,097 {\an1}This is where, like, a lot of my memories 1495 01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:01,680 {\an1}are basically playing outside. 1496 01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:04,307 {\an1}My best friend, Jeff, at the time--he was like, 1497 01:00:04,392 --> 01:00:06,142 {\an1}"I bet you can’t throw this rock over that house." 1498 01:00:06,228 --> 01:00:07,898 {\an1}And I was like, "I bet you I can." 1499 01:00:07,979 --> 01:00:10,979 {\an1}And I-I got a rock, and I threw it right into the window, 1500 01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:12,318 {\an1}broke the window. 1501 01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:13,322 {\an1}- You broke the window? 1502 01:00:13,401 --> 01:00:14,861 {\an1}- Yeah, and then I ran home, yeah. 1503 01:00:14,986 --> 01:00:15,856 {\an1}- You never got in trouble? 1504 01:00:15,987 --> 01:00:19,237 {\an1}- Nah, they didn’t catch me, so... 1505 01:00:19,324 --> 01:00:20,584 {\an1}Oh--hey, what’s up? - Hey. 1506 01:00:20,659 --> 01:00:21,739 {\an1}- Hey, Dad. 1507 01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:23,037 {\an1}How are you? - I’m good. 1508 01:00:23,161 --> 01:00:25,001 {\an1}- I’m just telling her how I, like, just picked up a rock 1509 01:00:25,122 --> 01:00:26,832 {\an1}and just threw it straight into the window. 1510 01:00:26,915 --> 01:00:28,175 {\an1}Crash. 1511 01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:29,381 {\an1}- There’s a lot of little sneaky things 1512 01:00:29,501 --> 01:00:31,341 {\an1}that I didn’t know about 1513 01:00:31,419 --> 01:00:33,549 {\an1}that I’m hearing later on. - Uh-huh. 1514 01:00:33,672 --> 01:00:35,672 {\an1}[laughter] 1515 01:00:35,757 --> 01:00:39,587 {\an1}- I’ve had some confrontations with some people over him. 1516 01:00:39,678 --> 01:00:41,098 {\an1}- Really? - Really. 1517 01:00:41,179 --> 01:00:42,969 {\an1}- Tell me about it. - ’Cause I used--I used-- 1518 01:00:43,056 --> 01:00:44,056 {\an1}- What happened? - I was playing outside. 1519 01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:46,892 {\an1}I was always like-- you know, kids fight. 1520 01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,018 {\an1}You know what I’m saying? - Well. 1521 01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:49,565 {\an1}- And then, you know, they go tell and... 1522 01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:55,438 {\an1}- What--you know, I always told him, never start a fight. 1523 01:00:55,527 --> 01:00:57,947 {\an1}And he was pretty good at doing that. 1524 01:00:58,029 --> 01:01:00,529 {\an1}- I got hands. 1525 01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:04,197 {\an1}- So, you know, "Joe" or "Dad"? 1526 01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:06,576 {\an1}- Either one’s fine with me. 1527 01:01:06,705 --> 01:01:08,715 {\an1}- Nate always talks so highly of you. 1528 01:01:08,790 --> 01:01:10,080 {\an1}And I know you were a single dad, 1529 01:01:10,208 --> 01:01:12,248 {\an1}and I know that had to have been hard. 1530 01:01:12,377 --> 01:01:14,917 {\an1}So I mean, how did you do it? 1531 01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:16,546 {\an1}How are you able to get through this? 1532 01:01:16,673 --> 01:01:21,303 {\an1}- Well, people used to-- I get teared up now. 1533 01:01:21,386 --> 01:01:22,636 {\an1}- Oh, no. 1534 01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:24,761 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1535 01:01:24,890 --> 01:01:27,930 {\an1}- People used to say, "Man, I commend you 1536 01:01:28,059 --> 01:01:30,349 {\an1}for what you you’re doing." 1537 01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:32,557 {\an1}And I’m like, "Hey, those are my kids. 1538 01:01:32,647 --> 01:01:34,067 {\an1}I wouldn’t want it any other way." 1539 01:01:34,149 --> 01:01:35,609 {\an1}- Oh, can I use your shirt? 1540 01:01:35,734 --> 01:01:39,614 {\an1}- So it was easy for me. It was easy. 1541 01:01:39,738 --> 01:01:41,068 {\an1}I--I, like I said, I wouldn’t have it 1542 01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:42,278 {\an1}any other way. 1543 01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:44,487 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1544 01:01:44,576 --> 01:01:45,656 {\an1}- Appreciate you, Dad. 1545 01:01:45,744 --> 01:01:46,954 {\an1}- Yeah. 1546 01:01:47,078 --> 01:01:48,958 {\an1}- Yeah, love you. 1547 01:01:49,080 --> 01:01:51,170 {\an1}- I don’t know why I’m crying now. 1548 01:01:51,249 --> 01:01:52,919 {\an1}- Yeah, why you crying? 1549 01:01:53,001 --> 01:01:54,251 {\an1}- ’Cause he got choked up. 1550 01:01:54,377 --> 01:01:56,127 {\an1}I’m sorry, babe. 1551 01:01:56,254 --> 01:01:58,804 {\an1}- That’s the first time I’ve seen you cry, ever. 1552 01:01:58,924 --> 01:02:01,514 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1553 01:02:01,593 --> 01:02:04,723 {\an1}My dad--he grew up a certain way, you know, now. 1554 01:02:04,804 --> 01:02:06,764 {\an1}He’s from the South. 1555 01:02:06,890 --> 01:02:09,350 {\an1}You know, six, what, six, seven siblings 1556 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:10,984 {\an1}or something like that. 1557 01:02:11,102 --> 01:02:11,982 {\an1}Then he went straight to the military, 1558 01:02:12,103 --> 01:02:13,023 {\an1}like, 18 or whatever. 1559 01:02:13,104 --> 01:02:16,364 {\an1}So, you know, he’s basically like-- 1560 01:02:16,441 --> 01:02:17,821 {\an1}he was born that way. 1561 01:02:17,943 --> 01:02:19,073 {\an1}You know, he was raised a certain way. 1562 01:02:19,152 --> 01:02:22,162 {\an1}So emotions isn’t really, like, a normal thing for him. 1563 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,780 {\an1}He doesn’t show his emotions but... 1564 01:02:23,865 --> 01:02:25,315 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1565 01:02:25,450 --> 01:02:27,240 {\an1}- It’s not the first time that I’ve teared up, 1566 01:02:27,327 --> 01:02:28,447 {\an1}but I usually hide it. 1567 01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:30,158 {\an1}- You just didn’t wanna show it. 1568 01:02:30,288 --> 01:02:31,788 {\an1}- Exactly. ’Cause, you know, 1569 01:02:31,873 --> 01:02:33,883 {\an1}from what I was taught, gotta be tough, 1570 01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:36,669 {\an1}and crying was not part of being tough. 1571 01:02:36,795 --> 01:02:38,845 {\an1}- Is that what you kind of passed on to him? 1572 01:02:38,964 --> 01:02:40,474 {\an1}- That’s what I tried to pass on him. 1573 01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:42,340 {\an1}I think I did a good job. 1574 01:02:42,467 --> 01:02:46,507 {\an1}- Talking to his dad, you know, he--he’s confirming 1575 01:02:46,638 --> 01:02:48,808 {\an1}the reason why Nate is the way that he is. 1576 01:02:48,890 --> 01:02:51,310 {\an1}He was at brunch with my mom and my friend, 1577 01:02:51,434 --> 01:02:52,314 {\an1}and I think they asked... - Mm-hmm. 1578 01:02:52,435 --> 01:02:55,055 {\an1}- Like, "What are the great characteristics 1579 01:02:55,146 --> 01:02:56,146 {\an1}that you wanna take from your dad?" 1580 01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:57,191 {\an1}- Yeah. - He started 1581 01:02:57,315 --> 01:02:58,265 {\an1}tearing up a little bit. 1582 01:02:58,358 --> 01:02:59,858 {\an1}- Hmm. - Like the sacrifices. 1583 01:02:59,985 --> 01:03:00,825 {\an1}- Mm-hmm. 1584 01:03:00,944 --> 01:03:01,744 {\an1}- Wow. 1585 01:03:01,820 --> 01:03:03,910 {\an1}Never expected that from him either. 1586 01:03:03,989 --> 01:03:07,119 {\an1}- You know, I--I think Nate is doing a great job, 1587 01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:10,040 {\an1}and I really appreciate the fact that he is able 1588 01:03:10,161 --> 01:03:11,621 {\an1}to articulate his feelings, 1589 01:03:11,705 --> 01:03:13,545 {\an1}he’s able to process those emotions, 1590 01:03:13,665 --> 01:03:15,965 {\an1}and he doesn’t have to hide it, and that’s okay. 1591 01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:17,962 {\an1}I’m glad that I’m able to connect with him 1592 01:03:18,044 --> 01:03:20,054 {\an1}in a deeper way, and I think that 1593 01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:22,381 {\an1}that’s gonna be very useful for our future. 1594 01:03:22,507 --> 01:03:27,637 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1595 01:03:27,721 --> 01:03:28,931 {\an1}- I was trying hard to open-- 1596 01:03:29,014 --> 01:03:30,854 {\an1}[laughter] 1597 01:03:30,932 --> 01:03:32,182 {\an1}Ah, do not hold. 1598 01:03:32,267 --> 01:03:33,847 {\an1}- Okay, that was great. 1599 01:03:33,935 --> 01:03:35,515 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1600 01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:42,025 {\an1}- ♪ Hoping that tomorrow is better than today ♪ 1601 01:03:42,110 --> 01:03:46,910 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1602 01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:49,532 {\an1}- Dr. Pepper’s homework was writing a letter 1603 01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:52,039 {\an1}to our inner self and reading it out loud 1604 01:03:52,162 --> 01:03:54,212 {\an1}to explore the feelings in that moment, 1605 01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:57,171 {\an1}and it might be our final chance 1606 01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:01,590 {\an1}to bring us together so I can somehow win my wife back. 1607 01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:02,883 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1608 01:04:03,006 --> 01:04:04,546 {\an1}- Hey. - Hey, what’s up? 1609 01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,432 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1610 01:04:06,551 --> 01:04:08,301 {\an1}I understand the walls are still up, 1611 01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:10,426 {\an1}and that’s a tough pill to swallow, but I did hurt her, 1612 01:04:10,555 --> 01:04:13,635 {\an1}so she has every right to--to feel how she feels. 1613 01:04:13,725 --> 01:04:20,485 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1614 01:04:20,565 --> 01:04:21,975 {\an1}- Do you wanna go first? 1615 01:04:22,067 --> 01:04:24,107 {\an1}- Um... 1616 01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:25,735 {\an1}- "To my younger self. 1617 01:04:25,862 --> 01:04:31,412 {\an1}"You’re loved, even when you question it. 1618 01:04:31,493 --> 01:04:33,373 {\an1}"The strict environment you were raised in 1619 01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:35,583 {\an1}"is what your parents thought was the only way. 1620 01:04:35,663 --> 01:04:37,213 {\an1}It’ll be hard to understand and appreciate 1621 01:04:37,290 --> 01:04:38,210 {\an1}"their sacrifices for you, 1622 01:04:38,291 --> 01:04:40,671 {\an1}"but know it was outta love and loyalty. 1623 01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:42,382 {\an1}"Even so, you’re more than your grades 1624 01:04:42,462 --> 01:04:43,462 {\an1}"and your accolades. 1625 01:04:43,588 --> 01:04:45,968 {\an1}"I know how disheartening it is to never feel 1626 01:04:46,091 --> 01:04:48,721 {\an1}"like you’re quite good enough, but I promise you are. 1627 01:04:48,802 --> 01:04:50,932 {\an1}"This is something you’ll struggle with. 1628 01:04:51,054 --> 01:04:53,314 {\an1}"You’ll look to others to find your worth, 1629 01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:56,231 {\an1}"but learn to love who you are and let that be enough. 1630 01:04:56,309 --> 01:04:58,099 {\an1}"Stop worrying so much about how you’re 1631 01:04:58,186 --> 01:04:59,436 {\an1}"gonna achieve your next goal and instead love 1632 01:04:59,562 --> 01:05:02,442 {\an1}every moment that you’re alive and never take it for granted." 1633 01:05:02,524 --> 01:05:09,534 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1634 01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:15,287 {\an1}- I’m just not comfortable 1635 01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:16,660 {\an1}reading to you my letter. 1636 01:05:16,788 --> 01:05:18,788 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1637 01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:21,205 {\an1}Every time I’ve opened up 1638 01:05:21,292 --> 01:05:22,632 {\an1}and every time I’ve shared something with you, 1639 01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:23,672 {\an1}it’s been used against me 1640 01:05:23,795 --> 01:05:25,635 {\an1}or, you now, it’s--it’s been 1641 01:05:25,755 --> 01:05:27,295 {\an1}shared with someone else. 1642 01:05:27,382 --> 01:05:30,722 {\an1}So I just don’t feel comfortable, like, giving you 1643 01:05:30,802 --> 01:05:32,682 {\an1}anything personal or deep anymore. 1644 01:05:32,804 --> 01:05:39,774 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1645 01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:00,156 {\an1}♪ Turn up the beat I came in style ♪ 1646 01:06:00,248 --> 01:06:01,748 {\an1}- Wanna warm up first? 1647 01:06:01,833 --> 01:06:03,503 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1648 01:06:03,626 --> 01:06:04,536 {\an1}- ♪ Hey ♪ - ♪ Turn up the heat ♪ 1649 01:06:04,669 --> 01:06:05,709 {\an1}♪ Turn up the dial ♪ 1650 01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:08,207 {\an1}♪ Turn up the beat I came in style ♪ 1651 01:06:08,339 --> 01:06:10,509 {\an1}♪ It’s going down ♪ 1652 01:06:10,633 --> 01:06:12,473 {\an1}♪ Crazy wild ♪ 1653 01:06:12,552 --> 01:06:15,012 {\an1}- I wanted to bring Justin to the basketball court today 1654 01:06:15,138 --> 01:06:17,428 {\an1}because basketball has played an important role in my life. 1655 01:06:17,515 --> 01:06:20,015 {\an1}I hope that he really grasps that tomboy side of me 1656 01:06:20,143 --> 01:06:21,063 {\an1}’cause a lot of the times, 1657 01:06:21,186 --> 01:06:23,226 {\an1}I’ve been dressed up and makeup-ed up, 1658 01:06:23,354 --> 01:06:26,114 {\an1}and, you know, I fart and burp and stuff. 1659 01:06:27,692 --> 01:06:28,612 {\an1}Game. 1660 01:06:28,693 --> 01:06:30,493 {\an1}But there’s more to me being a tomboy 1661 01:06:30,570 --> 01:06:33,740 {\an1}than just being nasty. 1662 01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:35,375 {\an1}Good game, baby. - Yeah. 1663 01:06:35,450 --> 01:06:36,620 {\an1}- Let’s go. 1664 01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:37,951 {\an1}Got some things to show you. 1665 01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:40,706 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1666 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,210 {\an1}All righty. You have fun, baby? 1667 01:06:42,290 --> 01:06:43,620 {\an1}- I did. That was nice. 1668 01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:44,708 {\an1}You got some skills, girl. 1669 01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:46,714 {\an1}- No, I felt like a scrub, but thank you. 1670 01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:49,876 {\an1}- Yeah, that’s what I thought, too, but I gotta tell you. 1671 01:06:49,964 --> 01:06:51,724 {\an1}I’m just playing. 1672 01:06:51,841 --> 01:06:53,221 {\an1}- Scrub enough to beat your ass. 1673 01:06:53,343 --> 01:06:54,973 {\an1}- That’s all right. - All righty. 1674 01:06:55,053 --> 01:06:56,893 {\an1}So have my scrapbooks, 1675 01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:58,723 {\an1}my freshman year in high school, 1676 01:06:58,848 --> 01:07:02,728 {\an1}the one that I was on JV. 1677 01:07:03,603 --> 01:07:07,273 {\an1}- Look at this photo. Ooh! 1678 01:07:07,398 --> 01:07:09,978 {\an1}- MVP always. 1679 01:07:10,068 --> 01:07:12,648 {\an1}It’s like my honor societies and stuff. 1680 01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:14,197 {\an1}- You look like a nerd on here, baby. 1681 01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:15,660 {\an1}- Do I? - Mm-hmm. 1682 01:07:15,740 --> 01:07:17,530 {\an1}- I was--I wasn’t. I mean, I was smart. 1683 01:07:17,617 --> 01:07:19,537 {\an1}- You were a cute nerd. 1684 01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:21,159 {\an1}- And that’s me. 1685 01:07:21,246 --> 01:07:22,366 {\an1}- That’s--that’s super cool, though. 1686 01:07:22,455 --> 01:07:23,825 {\an1}- Yeah. 1687 01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:24,835 {\an1}- Like, we never had nothing like that. 1688 01:07:24,916 --> 01:07:25,666 {\an1}That’s really cool. 1689 01:07:25,750 --> 01:07:26,670 {\an1}How many games do you think 1690 01:07:26,751 --> 01:07:28,171 {\an1}you ever played in your lifetime? 1691 01:07:28,253 --> 01:07:29,673 {\an1}- Over 300 for sure. - Yeah. 1692 01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:31,014 {\an1}- I’ve been playing since I was seven. 1693 01:07:31,089 --> 01:07:32,089 {\an1}- Damn. - Yeah. 1694 01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:33,385 {\an1}Even though I don’t play basketball anymore, 1695 01:07:33,466 --> 01:07:35,426 {\an1}haven’t in years, it’s still a big part 1696 01:07:35,510 --> 01:07:37,470 {\an1}of how I became the woman I am now. 1697 01:07:37,595 --> 01:07:38,845 {\an1}Basketball really just showed me 1698 01:07:38,930 --> 01:07:40,100 {\an1}that if you put in that hard work 1699 01:07:40,223 --> 01:07:42,813 {\an1}and you put in that dedication in anything in this life, 1700 01:07:42,934 --> 01:07:46,274 {\an1}like even this marriage, the hard work will persevere, 1701 01:07:46,396 --> 01:07:48,806 {\an1}you know, and it’ll become whatever you want it to be. 1702 01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:51,320 {\an1}- I love that about you, though. 1703 01:07:51,442 --> 01:07:53,112 {\an1}- I wanted to read you a letter. 1704 01:07:53,194 --> 01:07:54,404 {\an1}- You wanna read me a letter? - Yeah. 1705 01:07:54,487 --> 01:07:56,527 {\an1}It’s called "Bag Lady," okay? 1706 01:07:56,614 --> 01:07:59,954 {\an1}I biologically inherited my mother’s lips, 1707 01:08:00,034 --> 01:08:03,834 {\an1}hips, and, inadvertently, her hyper-independence. 1708 01:08:03,955 --> 01:08:06,255 {\an1}One day as I struggled to get my groceries 1709 01:08:06,332 --> 01:08:07,292 {\an1}into my shared apartment, 1710 01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:09,885 {\an1}I noticed that my best friend, Emerald, 1711 01:08:09,961 --> 01:08:11,881 {\an1}just continued watching television. 1712 01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:15,133 {\an1}Frustrated, I yelled out, "Are you not going to help me?" 1713 01:08:15,258 --> 01:08:17,298 {\an1}To wish she replied, "You never ask for help, 1714 01:08:17,426 --> 01:08:19,637 {\an1}so I stopped offering." 1715 01:08:19,762 --> 01:08:21,812 {\an1}As I sought to understand myself, 1716 01:08:21,889 --> 01:08:24,389 {\an1}I learned that I didn’t have to do everything on my own. 1717 01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,475 {\an1}It was then that I sought out to facilitate 1718 01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:27,941 {\an1}an environment where people could openly 1719 01:08:28,021 --> 01:08:29,231 {\an1}and shamelessly ask for help, 1720 01:08:29,314 --> 01:08:32,154 {\an1}an environment that would honor the little girl in me 1721 01:08:32,274 --> 01:08:33,785 {\an1}that once yearned for a safe place 1722 01:08:33,860 --> 01:08:35,819 {\an1}as seemingly mystical as the mythical characters 1723 01:08:35,944 --> 01:08:38,104 {\an1}that comforted her to sleep. 1724 01:08:38,197 --> 01:08:39,067 {\an1}- That’s beautiful. 1725 01:08:39,157 --> 01:08:42,077 {\an1}- So I’m trying to break the cycle though. 1726 01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,160 {\an1}- Cycle to what? - Hyper independence. 1727 01:08:44,287 --> 01:08:45,907 {\an1}’Cause it’s just like, it comes from a place. 1728 01:08:45,996 --> 01:08:47,157 {\an1}It comes from, like, women in my life, family-- 1729 01:08:47,290 --> 01:08:49,670 {\an1}everybody in my life was just like hyper-independence, 1730 01:08:49,791 --> 01:08:51,502 {\an1}but it’s just what I saw. 1731 01:08:51,585 --> 01:08:55,005 {\an1}In my past relationships, I was getting in my own way, 1732 01:08:55,130 --> 01:08:56,341 {\an1}but we’re a team now. 1733 01:08:56,466 --> 01:09:00,886 {\an1}Kind of like basketball, like, yeah, you could go to the room 1734 01:09:01,012 --> 01:09:02,762 {\an1}and do everything by yourself, technically, 1735 01:09:02,846 --> 01:09:04,887 {\an1}but would you win? 1736 01:09:05,015 --> 01:09:05,976 {\an1}No. 1737 01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:08,349 {\an1}So I just gotta change my perspective. 1738 01:09:08,435 --> 01:09:11,015 {\an1}So if I could tell my childhood self anything, 1739 01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:12,857 {\an1}it would just be "Be soft." 1740 01:09:12,940 --> 01:09:16,190 {\an1}You know, "You can be soft and strong." 1741 01:09:16,318 --> 01:09:18,109 {\an1}- I like that. Thank you for sharing that. 1742 01:09:18,196 --> 01:09:24,116 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1743 01:09:24,202 --> 01:09:26,621 {\an1}- ♪ Lift me up ♪ 1744 01:09:26,703 --> 01:09:28,044 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1745 01:09:28,164 --> 01:09:32,294 {\an1}♪ We’re going higher and higher now ♪ 1746 01:09:32,377 --> 01:09:33,957 {\an1}- This is so cute. 1747 01:09:34,045 --> 01:09:36,305 {\an1}House of Puerto Rico. 1748 01:09:36,380 --> 01:09:38,421 {\an1}- Welcome to the house of Puerto Rico. 1749 01:09:38,549 --> 01:09:39,549 {\an1}- Oh, thank you. 1750 01:09:39,675 --> 01:09:45,636 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1751 01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,643 {\an1}- If you want to look around at, you know.. 1752 01:09:47,725 --> 01:09:49,975 {\an1}- Yeah, yeah. - There is a, you know... 1753 01:09:50,060 --> 01:09:50,981 {\an1}- Yes, so here is--yeah. 1754 01:09:51,062 --> 01:09:53,272 {\an1}So this is San Juan. This is the capital. 1755 01:09:53,398 --> 01:09:55,648 {\an1}El Yunque, the national forest, 1756 01:09:55,733 --> 01:09:58,153 {\an1}is the only rainforest 1757 01:09:58,236 --> 01:09:59,356 {\an1}in all of the United States. 1758 01:09:59,445 --> 01:10:02,355 {\an1}So this is my favorite beach, El Faro de Cabo Rojo. 1759 01:10:02,448 --> 01:10:04,618 {\an1}Like, you can be waist deep and see your toes. 1760 01:10:04,742 --> 01:10:06,992 {\an1}- Mm, those blue waters. - Crystal clear water, yeah. 1761 01:10:07,077 --> 01:10:09,077 {\an1}They also have bioluminescent bays. 1762 01:10:09,205 --> 01:10:10,865 {\an1}For me, it’s important to share this part of my life 1763 01:10:10,957 --> 01:10:13,496 {\an1}with Lindy because I want her to know 1764 01:10:13,584 --> 01:10:17,004 {\an1}where I grew up, my upbringing, with my culture, right? 1765 01:10:17,088 --> 01:10:19,088 {\an1}Like the culture that I grew up with as a kid. 1766 01:10:19,173 --> 01:10:20,513 {\an1}It’s an integral part of my life. 1767 01:10:20,591 --> 01:10:21,630 {\an1}It really shaped me. 1768 01:10:21,759 --> 01:10:24,549 {\an1}They have a saying, which is la isla encantada, 1769 01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:25,927 {\an1}which is like the-- 1770 01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:27,344 {\an1}both: Enchanted island. 1771 01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:28,602 {\an1}- Yeah, ’cause it really is. 1772 01:10:28,725 --> 01:10:31,855 {\an1}It is very important to me that she understands my past 1773 01:10:31,936 --> 01:10:35,476 {\an1}and she wants to continue to understand my future. 1774 01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:37,106 {\an1}And I can’t wait to take her to Puerto Rico 1775 01:10:37,233 --> 01:10:38,653 {\an1}so she can see all these things firsthand. 1776 01:10:38,776 --> 01:10:40,026 {\an1}It’s funny. It’s like a whole different 1777 01:10:40,111 --> 01:10:41,201 {\an1}chapter of my life. 1778 01:10:41,279 --> 01:10:43,409 {\an1}- Yeah. 1779 01:10:43,489 --> 01:10:45,818 {\an1}- Some good, some--like, some--some good pages, 1780 01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:48,370 {\an1}some bad pages in that chapter. - Of course, yeah. 1781 01:10:48,452 --> 01:10:52,413 {\an1}- ’Cause when I-- so when I grew up in New York, 1782 01:10:52,498 --> 01:10:55,577 {\an1}I got picked on for being Puerto Rican, 1783 01:10:55,668 --> 01:10:57,628 {\an1}like, looking like this. - Mm. 1784 01:10:57,754 --> 01:10:59,804 {\an1}- Yeah, and then, when I moved to Puerto Rico, 1785 01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:03,050 {\an1}I got picked on for not knowing Spanish. 1786 01:11:03,134 --> 01:11:04,434 {\an1}It was like either I wasn’t, like, 1787 01:11:04,510 --> 01:11:05,550 {\an1}white enough in the U. S.... 1788 01:11:05,636 --> 01:11:06,636 {\an1}- Yeah. 1789 01:11:06,721 --> 01:11:09,011 {\an1}- And I wasn’t Latino enough in Puerto Rico. 1790 01:11:09,139 --> 01:11:10,389 {\an1}Like, I was always, like, the outsider. 1791 01:11:10,475 --> 01:11:12,235 {\an1}It was always awkward. 1792 01:11:12,309 --> 01:11:14,850 {\an1}So I--I--I do this thing, and I did, I guess, 1793 01:11:14,978 --> 01:11:16,859 {\an1}a little bit going into this whole experiment 1794 01:11:16,981 --> 01:11:19,731 {\an1}of like, you know, hoping for the best... 1795 01:11:19,817 --> 01:11:20,647 {\an1}- Yeah. 1796 01:11:20,735 --> 01:11:22,405 {\an1}- But kinda expecting the worst. 1797 01:11:22,487 --> 01:11:23,607 {\an1}- Yeah. 1798 01:11:23,696 --> 01:11:27,316 {\an1}I know he’s had so many hurts in his--in his past, 1799 01:11:27,450 --> 01:11:28,830 {\an1}so it’s a hard dance to do 1800 01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:31,080 {\an1}if, like, I’m all in forever 1801 01:11:31,162 --> 01:11:34,422 {\an1}but also, like, I think he is skeptical, still, 1802 01:11:34,499 --> 01:11:36,329 {\an1}about everything that’s happening, 1803 01:11:36,459 --> 01:11:37,999 {\an1}and it’s scary. 1804 01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:39,166 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1805 01:11:39,253 --> 01:11:40,253 {\an1}Are you gonna share 1806 01:11:40,338 --> 01:11:43,418 {\an1}your letter with me? 1807 01:11:43,508 --> 01:11:44,878 {\an1}- Sure. 1808 01:11:45,009 --> 01:11:48,099 {\an1}"Dear Lil Miguel, 1809 01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:49,929 {\an1}"you’re gonna go through some [bleep], 1810 01:11:50,014 --> 01:11:51,103 {\an1}"but stay strong. 1811 01:11:51,182 --> 01:11:54,942 {\an1}"I wanna say it gets better, and in a way, it does, 1812 01:11:55,019 --> 01:11:57,478 {\an1}"but before it does, you’re gonna suffer a bit. 1813 01:11:57,563 --> 01:12:00,273 {\an1}"Maybe it breaks you, maybe it doesn’t. 1814 01:12:00,358 --> 01:12:01,688 {\an1}"I know it broke me, 1815 01:12:01,776 --> 01:12:04,646 {\an1}"but from the ashes rises the phoenix. 1816 01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:08,277 {\an1}"What didn’t kill you for sure made you stronger, 1817 01:12:08,366 --> 01:12:12,746 {\an1}"the strongest. And so this is me now, at 35, 1818 01:12:12,870 --> 01:12:16,000 {\an1}"keeping wishful and hopeful of better times, 1819 01:12:16,082 --> 01:12:19,002 {\an1}"’cause they will come, and they do. 1820 01:12:19,085 --> 01:12:22,135 {\an1}"I won’t spoil the surprise for you, 1821 01:12:22,213 --> 01:12:24,923 {\an1}"but keep on keeping on, ’cause at some point, 1822 01:12:25,049 --> 01:12:26,719 {\an1}"you’re gonna find a total babe 1823 01:12:26,843 --> 01:12:28,803 {\an1}that you’re gonna fall madly in love with." 1824 01:12:28,886 --> 01:12:30,096 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1825 01:12:30,221 --> 01:12:32,891 {\an1}- Oh. That’s beautiful. 1826 01:12:33,014 --> 01:12:34,635 {\an1}- I love you. 1827 01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:35,885 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1828 01:12:36,018 --> 01:12:38,268 {\an1}- Aww. I love you too. 1829 01:12:38,396 --> 01:12:39,646 {\an1}- That’s a first. 1830 01:12:39,730 --> 01:12:41,820 {\an1}- [laughs] 1831 01:12:41,898 --> 01:12:44,489 {\an1}So you love me! 1832 01:12:44,568 --> 01:12:46,449 {\an1}Yeah, I’m, like, elated. 1833 01:12:46,571 --> 01:12:47,651 {\an1}- So you love me? 1834 01:12:47,737 --> 01:12:51,157 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1835 01:12:51,242 --> 01:12:54,041 {\an1}[laughs] 1836 01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:56,910 {\an1}It doesn’t feel weird to love Lindy 1837 01:12:57,039 --> 01:12:59,169 {\an1}even though I’ve only known her for a month, 1838 01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:01,880 {\an1}and it’s just so, like, organic and natural. 1839 01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:04,050 {\an1}Like, it’s so--like falling in love with her 1840 01:13:04,130 --> 01:13:05,760 {\an1}was, like, possibly the easiest thing 1841 01:13:05,882 --> 01:13:08,012 {\an1}I’ve ever done in a relationship. 1842 01:13:08,092 --> 01:13:09,512 {\an1}It’s funny, though, ’cause, right, it’s like, 1843 01:13:09,594 --> 01:13:11,353 {\an1}first comes love, then comes marriage. 1844 01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:12,469 {\an1}- I know. 1845 01:13:12,597 --> 01:13:15,267 {\an1}Marriage then love, okay. 1846 01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:16,351 {\an1}- So next is? 1847 01:13:16,434 --> 01:13:18,064 {\an1}- A baby in a baby carriage. 1848 01:13:18,144 --> 01:13:22,364 {\an1}- ♪ I got love just love ♪ 1849 01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:27,650 {\an1}♪ You’ll never be alone ♪ 1850 01:13:27,653 --> 01:13:29,493 {\an1}♪ 1851 01:13:29,614 --> 01:13:30,534 {\an1}the majority of, like, my childhood, 1852 01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:33,245 {\an1}. 1853 01:13:33,326 --> 01:13:35,236 {\an1}We were kinda alone, you know, a lot. 1854 01:13:35,327 --> 01:13:37,077 {\an1}So it was just me, my brother, and my sister. 1855 01:13:37,163 --> 01:13:39,833 {\an1}But, like, we did a lot of stuff, like, on our own, 1856 01:13:39,957 --> 01:13:41,996 {\an1}and I would walk up that hill to get 1857 01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:44,496 {\an1}to elementary and to high school. 1858 01:13:44,629 --> 01:13:46,759 {\an1}And then I actually walked to middle school, 1859 01:13:46,839 --> 01:13:50,259 {\an1}and my middle school was, like, a few miles down that way. 1860 01:13:50,343 --> 01:13:51,643 {\an1}- And you walked? - And I walked. 1861 01:13:51,719 --> 01:13:53,099 {\an1}- Every day? - Yeah. 1862 01:13:53,179 --> 01:13:54,759 {\an1}- Yeah. 1863 01:13:54,847 --> 01:13:57,057 {\an1}You know, I do come from humble beginnings, 1864 01:13:57,141 --> 01:13:59,351 {\an1}and that’s where my ambitious nature comes from. 1865 01:13:59,477 --> 01:14:02,097 {\an1}You know, I wanna be able to live a comfortable life. 1866 01:14:02,188 --> 01:14:06,478 {\an1}I want to be able to have a life that I can share 1867 01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,648 {\an1}with my children, share with my husband, 1868 01:14:08,736 --> 01:14:10,526 {\an1}have the time to do so. 1869 01:14:10,655 --> 01:14:12,785 {\an1}I don’t wanna have to work 24 hours a day, 1870 01:14:12,865 --> 01:14:14,315 {\an1}seven days a week. 1871 01:14:14,407 --> 01:14:18,157 {\an1}One funny story, though: here is-- 1872 01:14:18,245 --> 01:14:20,905 {\an1}I used to make purses in high school 1873 01:14:20,998 --> 01:14:22,668 {\an1}to kinda, like, get extra money. 1874 01:14:22,791 --> 01:14:24,422 {\an1}I would, like, make purses. - Who were you selling ’em to? 1875 01:14:24,502 --> 01:14:25,462 {\an1}- To the girls at school. 1876 01:14:25,544 --> 01:14:27,964 {\an1}Like, I would make these jean purses, 1877 01:14:28,047 --> 01:14:29,547 {\an1}and I would sew them myself. 1878 01:14:29,674 --> 01:14:31,134 {\an1}And then I would go to the mall 1879 01:14:31,217 --> 01:14:33,467 {\an1}and get their name embroidered on them. 1880 01:14:33,552 --> 01:14:36,432 {\an1}- I hear trapping and [bleep]. 1881 01:14:36,514 --> 01:14:38,273 {\an1}This purse. About to flip that [bleep]. 1882 01:14:38,349 --> 01:14:39,309 {\an1}Ya. 1883 01:14:39,392 --> 01:14:40,312 {\an1}I see you. - Mm-hmm. 1884 01:14:40,393 --> 01:14:41,523 {\an1}- Girl, I see you. 1885 01:14:41,602 --> 01:14:42,442 {\an1}I see you. 1886 01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:43,900 {\an1}Well, we had something in common. 1887 01:14:44,021 --> 01:14:46,771 {\an1}- Yeah, you was a hustler, too, selling purses, slinging. 1888 01:14:46,857 --> 01:14:50,107 {\an1}- We both s--sold purses. 1889 01:14:50,193 --> 01:14:51,654 {\an1}- Fake designer. 1890 01:14:51,737 --> 01:14:53,487 {\an1}- Yeah, fake designer purses. 1891 01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:55,322 {\an1}- And then-- - I used to sell gum too. 1892 01:14:55,407 --> 01:14:56,698 {\an1}Buy, like, a little 50-pack 1893 01:14:56,826 --> 01:14:57,866 {\an1}and then sell each little stick 1894 01:14:57,952 --> 01:14:58,992 {\an1}for, like, 25 cents. 1895 01:14:59,077 --> 01:15:00,698 {\an1}- We hustlers. - Yeah. 1896 01:15:00,788 --> 01:15:02,827 {\an1}That’s dope. I love that. 1897 01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:05,915 {\an1}I feel really excited because I’ve always wanted 1898 01:15:06,043 --> 01:15:08,053 {\an1}a power couple dynamic. 1899 01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:11,050 {\an1}So learning that Stacia used to sell purses-- 1900 01:15:11,132 --> 01:15:12,552 {\an1}That’s who Stacia is. 1901 01:15:12,633 --> 01:15:15,303 {\an1}She’s--she’s very independent. She’s very strong. 1902 01:15:15,386 --> 01:15:17,755 {\an1}You know, she is an entrepreneur. 1903 01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:21,058 {\an1}- This is the Mintos house. - The Mintos. 1904 01:15:21,183 --> 01:15:22,893 {\an1}- And this is basically where I spent 1905 01:15:22,977 --> 01:15:24,897 {\an1}the last year of high school. - Okay. 1906 01:15:24,978 --> 01:15:26,898 {\an1}- And I’ve known Deanna for, like-- 1907 01:15:26,981 --> 01:15:28,861 {\an1}since the first grade. - Wow. 1908 01:15:28,941 --> 01:15:30,401 {\an1}- So we go... - That’s way back. 1909 01:15:30,484 --> 01:15:31,534 {\an1}- Way back. 1910 01:15:31,610 --> 01:15:32,530 {\an1}- Sheesh. 1911 01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:34,321 {\an1}This is a nice house. 1912 01:15:34,405 --> 01:15:35,455 {\an1}- Hi. - Hi. 1913 01:15:35,573 --> 01:15:37,373 {\an1}- Look how beautiful you are. - Good to see you. 1914 01:15:37,450 --> 01:15:39,080 {\an1}- So good to see you. 1915 01:15:39,160 --> 01:15:40,540 {\an1}So this is Robyn Minto. - I’m Nathan. 1916 01:15:40,619 --> 01:15:42,539 {\an1}- This is Mama Minto. - Nice to meet you. 1917 01:15:42,621 --> 01:15:44,001 {\an1}- Nice to meet you, Mama Minto. - Come on in. 1918 01:15:44,081 --> 01:15:45,710 {\an1}- Hey. - How are you? 1919 01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:46,541 {\an1}Lovely to see you. 1920 01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:47,995 {\an1}- Me too. This is Deanna. 1921 01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:49,875 {\an1}- Hi, Deanna. Nice to meet you. 1922 01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:51,672 {\an1}- Me too. 1923 01:15:51,755 --> 01:15:53,126 {\an1}- Come over here, babe. 1924 01:15:53,257 --> 01:15:54,757 {\an1}Sit on this side with me. 1925 01:15:54,842 --> 01:15:56,932 {\an1}- It’s a nice house, guys. - Yeah. 1926 01:15:57,053 --> 01:16:00,103 {\an1}See, the house is a little bit different than when we lived 1927 01:16:00,181 --> 01:16:01,681 {\an1}or when I lived here. - Yeah. 1928 01:16:01,766 --> 01:16:02,925 {\an1}- Yeah, they waited until we moved out, 1929 01:16:03,059 --> 01:16:04,059 {\an1}and then they remodeled. 1930 01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:07,233 {\an1}- So I was telling Nate that I’ve known Deanna 1931 01:16:07,313 --> 01:16:09,733 {\an1}since, like, first grade, when I moved to Covina. 1932 01:16:09,815 --> 01:16:11,105 {\an1}We also played volleyball together, 1933 01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:13,573 {\an1}so her and I are really close. - Mm-hmm. 1934 01:16:13,652 --> 01:16:17,242 {\an1}- I mean, volleyball is really how I got here, really, 1935 01:16:17,323 --> 01:16:19,373 {\an1}because yeah, my mom and dad bought a house 1936 01:16:19,450 --> 01:16:21,290 {\an1}out in the IE 1937 01:16:21,410 --> 01:16:23,580 {\an1}and they wanted to move out, like, my senior year 1938 01:16:23,662 --> 01:16:27,002 {\an1}and Robyn basically stepped in. 1939 01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:28,634 {\an1}- I was like, "She can’t do that. 1940 01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:31,499 {\an1}She’s been with these girls forever." 1941 01:16:31,629 --> 01:16:34,049 {\an1}And I--I turned to her and I said, 1942 01:16:34,130 --> 01:16:36,511 {\an1}"She can live at our house for the rest of the year." 1943 01:16:36,634 --> 01:16:38,054 {\an1}- Wow. 1944 01:16:38,135 --> 01:16:39,295 {\an1}- I mean, it was really meaningful 1945 01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:42,138 {\an1}because it was like somebody was looking out for me. 1946 01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:44,853 {\an1}Stacia was to us just like our daughter, 1947 01:16:44,975 --> 01:16:46,135 {\an1}Deanna, or our son, David. 1948 01:16:46,227 --> 01:16:49,477 {\an1}- Well, I can definitely feel, like, good vibes and energy 1949 01:16:49,563 --> 01:16:52,483 {\an1}in this whole place. That’s awesome. 1950 01:16:52,566 --> 01:16:55,066 {\an1}How--how was--how was Stacia in high school? 1951 01:16:55,152 --> 01:16:56,992 {\an1}- Just one great story in particular was-- 1952 01:16:57,112 --> 01:16:58,612 {\an1}I came home one evening. 1953 01:16:58,697 --> 01:17:01,237 {\an1}I think it was a Friday night and I see Stacia 1954 01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:03,155 {\an1}all looking pretty as heck and walking around here 1955 01:17:03,285 --> 01:17:04,785 {\an1}and then, "What are you doing?" 1956 01:17:04,870 --> 01:17:06,330 {\an1}"Oh, I’m going on on a date tonight." 1957 01:17:06,455 --> 01:17:07,825 {\an1}I said, "Oh, okay. Who with?" 1958 01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:09,166 {\an1}"Oh, so and so," and I said, "Really?" 1959 01:17:09,291 --> 01:17:11,460 {\an1}and about then, I heard the horn honk, 1960 01:17:11,544 --> 01:17:13,964 {\an1}and she jumps up to go to the door, and I said, 1961 01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:16,626 {\an1}"Wait a minute. No one’s gonna honk the horn 1962 01:17:16,715 --> 01:17:18,835 {\an1}and have you run down to ’em. They’re gonna come to here." 1963 01:17:18,968 --> 01:17:20,048 {\an1}- That’s right, that’s right, 1964 01:17:20,177 --> 01:17:24,007 {\an1}- So he did, and he was very--very nice polite guy. 1965 01:17:24,098 --> 01:17:26,388 {\an1}I tell you when he was here half an hour earlier 1966 01:17:26,517 --> 01:17:28,887 {\an1}than he said he’d be back... 1967 01:17:29,019 --> 01:17:30,728 {\an1}- Yeah. 1968 01:17:30,855 --> 01:17:32,695 {\an1}- Papa Minto really showed me 1969 01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:35,035 {\an1}a loving father, a loving husband, 1970 01:17:35,151 --> 01:17:37,531 {\an1}really taught me to respect myself, 1971 01:17:37,653 --> 01:17:41,373 {\an1}and you know, he--he was a protector as well. 1972 01:17:41,448 --> 01:17:44,237 {\an1}That was something that I wanted to have in my marriage. 1973 01:17:44,368 --> 01:17:46,038 {\an1}Yeah, ’cause he knew that there was 1974 01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:47,160 {\an1}somebody here waiting for me. 1975 01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:51,576 {\an1}It was also treating, you know, me with respect. 1976 01:17:51,709 --> 01:17:53,919 {\an1}I was learning to respect myself, 1977 01:17:54,044 --> 01:17:55,504 {\an1}but also, like, I had a protector 1978 01:17:55,588 --> 01:17:57,128 {\an1}that was looking out for me as well. 1979 01:17:57,214 --> 01:17:59,014 {\an1}- Cool. I mean, that’s what it’s about. 1980 01:17:59,091 --> 01:18:01,091 {\an1}That’s what dads are there for. 1981 01:18:01,218 --> 01:18:02,508 {\an1}- Right. 1982 01:18:02,594 --> 01:18:09,605 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1983 01:18:13,647 --> 01:18:14,937 {\an1}- Is this spot right here good, babe? 1984 01:18:15,065 --> 01:18:17,525 {\an1}- Yeah. - You help me roll it out? 1985 01:18:17,610 --> 01:18:19,610 {\an1}- Yeah. - Like right there. 1986 01:18:19,737 --> 01:18:25,867 {\an1}♪ ♪ 1987 01:18:25,951 --> 01:18:28,291 {\an1}How was your letter? 1988 01:18:28,412 --> 01:18:30,541 {\an1}How’s your letter going? Are you... 1989 01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:31,673 {\an1}- You mean, did I do it? 1990 01:18:31,749 --> 01:18:32,579 {\an1}- Where--did you do it? 1991 01:18:32,666 --> 01:18:34,626 {\an1}Are you ready to share it? - Yeah. 1992 01:18:34,752 --> 01:18:35,882 {\an1}- I’m excited to hear yours. 1993 01:18:35,960 --> 01:18:37,591 {\an1}I’m excited to share mine as well. 1994 01:18:37,671 --> 01:18:40,091 {\an1}So without further ado... 1995 01:18:40,174 --> 01:18:43,224 {\an1}- Drum roll, please. 1996 01:18:43,302 --> 01:18:45,392 {\an1}- "Dear younger self, 1997 01:18:45,471 --> 01:18:47,761 {\an1}"remember when you were young and always hoping to be 1998 01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:51,268 {\an1}"perfect, popular, and make your parents proud. 1999 01:18:51,352 --> 01:18:52,562 {\an1}"Remember when you were striving 2000 01:18:52,645 --> 01:18:54,695 {\an1}"to be the best at track, softball, 2001 01:18:54,772 --> 01:18:57,522 {\an1}"volleyball, yearbook, newspaper, student council, 2002 01:18:57,608 --> 01:18:59,818 {\an1}"and work every day after school. 2003 01:18:59,943 --> 01:19:03,284 {\an1}"Soon you will realize you put too much on your little plate 2004 01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:04,905 {\an1}"and grew up too fast. 2005 01:19:04,990 --> 01:19:07,740 {\an1}"Remember it’s okay to not be perfect. 2006 01:19:07,826 --> 01:19:09,446 {\an1}"Keep laughing and seeing the beauty 2007 01:19:09,577 --> 01:19:11,198 {\an1}"in yourself and others. 2008 01:19:11,288 --> 01:19:12,748 {\an1}"Hold on to your high standards, 2009 01:19:12,831 --> 01:19:15,831 {\an1}"but give grace for realistic expectations. 2010 01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,250 {\an1}Love, Krysten." 2011 01:19:17,335 --> 01:19:18,416 {\an1}That is my letter. 2012 01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:19,924 {\an1}- I like it. 2013 01:19:20,005 --> 01:19:21,625 {\an1}It feels like good advice... 2014 01:19:21,757 --> 01:19:23,797 {\an1}- Yeah. - For any time of your life. 2015 01:19:23,884 --> 01:19:24,804 {\an1}- Thank you. 2016 01:19:24,885 --> 01:19:26,255 {\an1}- All right. - It felt good to write it. 2017 01:19:26,344 --> 01:19:27,395 {\an1}- Yeah, all right. 2018 01:19:27,471 --> 01:19:28,971 {\an1}Well, hats off. 2019 01:19:29,098 --> 01:19:29,808 {\an1}I’m gonna read you mine. 2020 01:19:29,932 --> 01:19:31,432 {\an1}- Hats off without further ado. 2021 01:19:31,517 --> 01:19:32,427 {\an1}- Yeah. 2022 01:19:32,518 --> 01:19:34,978 {\an1}"Dear younger Mitch, what’s up, my man? 2023 01:19:35,062 --> 01:19:36,942 {\an1}"You’ll never believe it, but this is 2024 01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:38,572 {\an1}"a letter from your older self. 2025 01:19:38,648 --> 01:19:40,648 {\an1}"Let’s start with the good news. 2026 01:19:40,734 --> 01:19:43,034 {\an1}"I can’t give you any details because to do so 2027 01:19:43,153 --> 01:19:45,282 {\an1}"would potentially corrupt the timeline, 2028 01:19:45,364 --> 01:19:46,954 {\an1}"but I will say this. 2029 01:19:47,032 --> 01:19:48,532 {\an1}"I know if you could see me now, 2030 01:19:48,659 --> 01:19:50,699 {\an1}"you’d be proud of the person you’ve become. 2031 01:19:50,827 --> 01:19:53,748 {\an1}"You’re not a dragon slayer or a starship captain, 2032 01:19:53,831 --> 01:19:55,921 {\an1}"but you’re somebody who works extremely hard 2033 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,330 {\an1}to make the world a better place." 2034 01:19:57,418 --> 01:19:58,878 {\an1}- Aww. - "And you still get 2035 01:19:59,003 --> 01:20:00,383 {\an1}"to stick it to the Man every day. 2036 01:20:00,504 --> 01:20:01,964 {\an1}"Now comes the hard part. 2037 01:20:02,047 --> 01:20:04,217 {\an1}"You’re gonna feel like you don’t fit in a lot, 2038 01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:05,591 {\an1}"like there isn’t a group for you, 2039 01:20:05,675 --> 01:20:07,675 {\an1}"like you’re on the outside, looking in. 2040 01:20:07,761 --> 01:20:10,511 {\an1}"It can be lonely, but from where I stand now, 2041 01:20:10,597 --> 01:20:11,557 {\an1}"I don’t see any way around it. 2042 01:20:11,682 --> 01:20:14,312 {\an1}"It’s more important to be true to yourself, 2043 01:20:14,393 --> 01:20:16,393 {\an1}"just embrace who you are. 2044 01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:18,809 {\an1}"Mitch, your strength is that you chart your own path, 2045 01:20:18,897 --> 01:20:20,817 {\an1}"and is precisely this quality 2046 01:20:20,898 --> 01:20:22,568 {\an1}"that earns respect and admiration 2047 01:20:22,693 --> 01:20:24,493 {\an1}"from the people around you. 2048 01:20:24,570 --> 01:20:27,240 {\an1}"Being your own person is what makes you cool, 2049 01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:32,084 {\an1}so stay true to yourself, even when it’s difficult." 2050 01:20:32,202 --> 01:20:35,162 {\an1}I’m almost done. [laughs] 2051 01:20:35,246 --> 01:20:37,166 {\an1}"You’re gonna feel isolated a lot, 2052 01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:38,999 {\an1}"but it’s not because you’re different. 2053 01:20:39,084 --> 01:20:41,344 {\an1}"It’s because you don’t-- because you haven’t learned 2054 01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:42,500 {\an1}"how to process your feelings 2055 01:20:42,588 --> 01:20:45,338 {\an1}"and talk about them with the people you trust. 2056 01:20:45,424 --> 01:20:47,054 {\an1}"You don’t know how to admit when you’re scared 2057 01:20:47,175 --> 01:20:49,886 {\an1}"or when you’re sad. 2058 01:20:49,969 --> 01:20:52,600 {\an1}"If there’s one thing I could change about my adult life, 2059 01:20:52,723 --> 01:20:55,023 {\an1}"it’s that I would’ve found my path sooner. 2060 01:20:55,100 --> 01:20:57,520 {\an1}"You’re gonna get lost for a while, 2061 01:20:57,603 --> 01:21:00,063 {\an1}"but if you stick to your guns and remember my advice, 2062 01:21:00,147 --> 01:21:01,357 {\an1}"you’ll get there. 2063 01:21:01,440 --> 01:21:03,360 {\an1}"Ultimately, all your wrong turns, 2064 01:21:03,442 --> 01:21:05,402 {\an1}distractions, and mistakes 2065 01:21:05,486 --> 01:21:07,526 {\an1}"will lead you right back to your truth, 2066 01:21:07,612 --> 01:21:09,362 {\an1}"and thanks to all those missteps 2067 01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:11,318 {\an1}"along the way and the lessons they teach you, 2068 01:21:11,407 --> 01:21:13,368 {\an1}"you’ll recognize the path when you find it. 2069 01:21:13,452 --> 01:21:16,662 {\an1}"Have faith. Take care of yourself. 2070 01:21:16,746 --> 01:21:18,416 {\an1}Your older self." 2071 01:21:18,499 --> 01:21:19,789 {\an1}- Can I hug you? 2072 01:21:19,916 --> 01:21:21,037 {\an1}- Yeah, sorry. 2073 01:21:21,126 --> 01:21:22,916 {\an1}- Horrible crying. 2074 01:21:23,045 --> 01:21:24,755 {\an1}Oh, my God. 2075 01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:28,090 {\an1}I have never seen this side of Mitch before. 2076 01:21:28,175 --> 01:21:32,555 {\an1}And I think my biggest takeaway is that 2077 01:21:32,638 --> 01:21:36,728 {\an1}I’ve--I was harboring some anger to him 2078 01:21:36,809 --> 01:21:39,939 {\an1}about how we started, still, 2079 01:21:40,020 --> 01:21:43,270 {\an1}and I don’t--I don’t feel the anger anymore. 2080 01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:45,228 {\an1}That’s why I’m getting so emotional. 2081 01:21:45,317 --> 01:21:47,777 {\an1}I think ’cause I’m just so happy. 2082 01:21:47,861 --> 01:21:50,951 {\an1}- I feel like, you know, like the hard exterior, 2083 01:21:51,073 --> 01:21:54,913 {\an1}the chip on the shoulder, like, a lot of the anger 2084 01:21:54,993 --> 01:21:57,503 {\an1}is just sadness and fear, you know? 2085 01:21:57,621 --> 01:21:58,871 {\an1}- Yeah. 2086 01:21:58,956 --> 01:22:00,456 {\an1}- Learning how to be vulnerable-- 2087 01:22:00,541 --> 01:22:02,171 {\an1}like, that’s strength. - Yeah. 2088 01:22:02,291 --> 01:22:04,882 {\an1}- I mean, it’s just nice to be able to get-- 2089 01:22:04,962 --> 01:22:06,882 {\an1}get it out, you know? - Yeah. 2090 01:22:06,964 --> 01:22:11,724 {\an1}I can’t believe that something that started off so rocky 2091 01:22:11,802 --> 01:22:14,602 {\an1}has turned into this really incredible marriage. 2092 01:22:14,680 --> 01:22:16,930 {\an1}I’m very hopeful that it will continue this way. 2093 01:22:17,014 --> 01:22:19,475 {\an1}♪ ♪ 2094 01:22:19,559 --> 01:22:22,730 {\an1}- Anyways. [laughs] 2095 01:22:22,813 --> 01:22:25,943 {\an1}- Thank you again. You’re the best. 2096 01:22:26,023 --> 01:22:28,284 {\an1}- You’re the best too. 2097 01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:33,240 {\an1}- ♪ I know there so much more that you wanna say ♪ 2098 01:22:33,323 --> 01:22:37,123 {\an1}♪ Honey I can’t wait ♪ 2099 01:22:37,202 --> 01:22:40,332 {\an1}♪ ♪ 2100 01:22:40,456 --> 01:22:43,376 {\an1}- Next time on "Married At First Sight"... 2101 01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:45,670 {\an1}- What would you think if you caught me watching porn? 2102 01:22:45,794 --> 01:22:49,514 {\an1}- All couples must explore ways to form a foundation of trust 2103 01:22:49,630 --> 01:22:51,380 {\an1}and intimacy in their marriage 2104 01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:52,338 {\an1}before they make 2105 01:22:52,468 --> 01:22:54,798 {\an1}the biggest decision of their lives. 2106 01:22:54,887 --> 01:22:58,177 {\an1}- That really kind of is what our baby might look like. 2107 01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:03,137 {\an1}- We’ve put the brakes on sex. 2108 01:23:03,228 --> 01:23:05,108 {\an1}- So ’cause I won’t sleep with you, you don’t feel 2109 01:23:05,189 --> 01:23:06,648 {\an1}like you’re wanted. I just didn’t picture 2110 01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:08,322 {\an1}a marriage to be like this. I’m sorry. 2111 01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:09,320 {\an1}I didn’t. 2112 01:23:09,401 --> 01:23:11,071 {\an1}- You don’t trust exactly what I’m saying. 2113 01:23:11,195 --> 01:23:13,865 {\an1}That’s what’s kind of, like, bothering me. 2114 01:23:13,989 --> 01:23:16,318 {\an1}- I’ve had to defend myself multiple times 2115 01:23:16,407 --> 01:23:17,827 {\an1}because of what Binh has said. 2116 01:23:17,910 --> 01:23:20,080 {\an1}- You’re pretty vindictive, then. 2117 01:23:20,204 --> 01:23:21,454 {\an1}- Do you feel you’re ready to get married 2118 01:23:21,538 --> 01:23:22,788 {\an1}to Justin particularly? 2119 01:23:22,873 --> 01:23:24,333 {\an1}- I don’t know. I don’t think so. 2120 01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:31,416 {\an1}♪ ♪