1
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:19,444
♪ Whatever happened to predictability?♪

2
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:23,399
♪ The milkman, the paper boy
The evening TV ♪

3
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,494
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go♪

4
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:30,991
♪ There's a heart
There's a heart♪

5
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,202
♪ A hand to hold onto♪

6
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,410
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go♪

7
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,334
♪ There's a face
There's a face♪

8
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:41,173
- ♪ Somebody who needs you♪
- ♪ There's a heart♪

9
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:44,169
♪ Everywhere you look, yeah♪

10
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:48,172
♪ When you're lost out there
And you're all alone♪

11
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:53,256
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home♪

12
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,224
♪ Everywhere you look♪

13
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,345
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪

14
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,435
Danielle, are you excited for tonight?

15
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:08,033
Mama's making
her first Thanksgiving dinner.

16
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,651
"Yes, Mama, I'm very eager."

17
00:01:12,822 --> 00:01:16,372
Aw. Enjoy this now,
because when she starts talking,

18
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:18,161
she'll never say what you want.

19
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,079
That's why I have a dog. Right, Cosmo?

20
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:23,960
"That's right, Mom."

21
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,587
That's not what Cosmo sounds like.

22
00:01:27,670 --> 00:01:29,130
Cosmo sounds like...

23
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,125
"You're hot stuff, Stephanie."

24
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,098
Steph, are you sure
that you don't need any help

25
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,221
cooking your first Thanksgiving dinner?

26
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:40,766
No, no, Deej, I appreciate the offer,

27
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:44,020
but tonight is going to be
Danielle's first bite of solid food,

28
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,904
and I want to be the one
to cook it for her.

29
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:48,320
Aw. That's really sweet, Steph.

30
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,191
I have full confidence in you.

31
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:53,991
Now, just follow this recipe book exactly.

32
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:58,491
Oh, no, not the book.

33
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,405
I'd rather read
Max's Blue Blood fan fiction.

34
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:07,924
What? It is the traditional
Tanner-Fuller Thanksgiving Recipe Book

35
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,512
that's been passed down
from generation to generation.

36
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,592
I'm just going to need you
to sign here, initial here,

37
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,175
and I'm going to need two forms of ID.

38
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,102
Deej, as much as I love the book,

39
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,635
I went online
and I found some new recipes

40
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:23,935
for Thanksgiving this year.

41
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,820
New... recipes?

42
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,276
From online strangers?

43
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,865
Yes, yes, I actually found

44
00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,910
a really great recipe
for a watercress and persimmon salad.

45
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,745
It's kind of a contemporary spin.

46
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:48,004
Oh. Like the way our ancestors
are spinning in their graves?

47
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,756
I am sorry, book.
You should not have to listen to this.

48
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:57,717
Guys, guys, stop fighting.
It's just Thanksgiving dinner.

49
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,143
Kimmy, nobody's fighting.

50
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:04,021
But Stephanie's cooking
Thanksgiving dinner.

51
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,230
You should be furious.

52
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:09,443
That's what Stephanie said
when she told me to run in here

53
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,862
and say, "Guys, stop fighting."

54
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:16,244
Yeah, I also told you to read the room,
but I forgot who I was talking to.

55
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,411
Sorry,
I just don't want any fighting today

56
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:24,041
because we're celebrating
Fernando's new American citizenship.

57
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,170
And if there's one thing
America's not about,

58
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:29,129
it's fighting.

59
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,632
I am totally cool
with Stephanie cooking,

60
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,512
bordering Zen.

61
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,885
What, did those knuckleheads
park on my lawn?

62
00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:55,145
Joey, my back is killing me.

63
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,278
What, did you refurbish these seats
with marbles and nails?

64
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,490
Your back is killing you 'cause
you're 90. Don't blame the clunker.

65
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:11,002
Clunker? She is a classic
with a million more miles of love to give.

66
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,125
Don't talk about her like that.

67
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,341
Guys, guys, stop fighting.

68
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:16,971
It's just Thanksgiving dinner.

69
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:19,546
Who's fighting?

70
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,304
-Let me see my granddaughter.
-Yeah.

71
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,757
Aw. Hey, cutie.

72
00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,643
Hi.

73
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,480
Are you living up
to the Danny Tanner name?

74
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,727
You mean talking nonsense and gassy?
Yes, she is.

75
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:36,191
Hey, back off, Jess.

76
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,986
The last thing she needs to inhale
are the fumes from your black hair dye.

77
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:45,328
Hey, Joey. Wow.

78
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,330
Old Rosie's looking pretty good.

79
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:50,792
Well, actually, this is my newest project,
Rosie Two.

80
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,923
Oh, right. Yeah.

81
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,461
Last time I saw original Rosie,

82
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,804
I was eight
and drove her right through the kitchen.

83
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,879
Ah, ah, ah!

84
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,514
Oh, we don't talk of such things.

85
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:07,721
I told her that Rosie One is living
with a nice Chevy on a farm upstate.

86
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,396
Whoa, it is windy
at the Thanksgiving parade.

87
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,951
The Snoopy balloon almost flew
into SpongeBob's butt. Look.

88
00:05:23,489 --> 00:05:26,619
Quiet. Check out this next performance.
It's a bonus Jonas, Lizzo,

89
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,751
and a snowman playing guitar.

90
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,415
That's not a snowman, that's Ed Sheeran.

91
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,254
That boy has got to get some sun.

92
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:38,502
Will you guys be quiet?

93
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:41,088
If your name's not Hoda,
I don't want to hear your voice.

94
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,552
Hey, Deej,
what time's dinner gonna be ready?

95
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,635
I've been fasting since 10:00 a.m.

96
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,348
It's only 10:30.

97
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,063
Didn't ask the time, I just want to know
when dinner's gonna be ready.

98
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:58,321
Well, actually, Dad,
DJ's not cooking dinner this year. I am.

99
00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,529
What?!

100
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,281
I mean, "That's great, Steph."

101
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,568
You do know where the stove is, right?

102
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,542
Yeah, I had Max draw me
a map of the kitchen.

103
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:15,173
As long as I get
cheesy potatoes in my belly!

104
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:20,003
Well, actually, there are not going to be
cheesy potatoes this year.

105
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,972
No cheesy potatoes?

106
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,762
No, I found new recipes online.

107
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,807
From strangers?

108
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:36,353
Yes, yes, I know that this family
loves their holiday traditions,

109
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,689
but this year,
I'm excited to try something new.

110
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,525
Yeah, it's gonna be great.

111
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,148
Without cheesy potatoes?

112
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:47,823
How about
instead of complaining about side dishes,

113
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,699
you three go down to Uncle Monty's
and get the turkey out of the smoker?

114
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,865
One turkey doesn't seem like
a three-man job.

115
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,754
And I am counting Joey as a full man.

116
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:57,997
You know, I could be wrong,

117
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,804
but it sounds like
you're trying to get rid of us.

118
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,168
Oh, does it just sound that way?

119
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:16,558
Oyez, oyez!

120
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:22,017
Introducing the newest citizen
of these United States,

121
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,358
Fernando, and his tribute to America.

122
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:38,119
We begin with a detailed history
of the Electoral College.

123
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,125
On second thought, I think
getting one turkey is a three-man job.

124
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,051
Let's go.

125
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,884
Where are you going?
You're going to miss my performance.

126
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,340
Exactly.

127
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,846
All right, I got the turkey. Let's go.

128
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,142
-Where's Joey?
-Hey, I'm in here.

129
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,230
Guys, check this out

130
00:08:04,108 --> 00:08:06,818
"Yo, Adrian, I did it!"

131
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,356
That's the worst Rocky I've ever seen.

132
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,026
And I saw Rocky on Ice.

133
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:14,871
All right, come on.
Let's get out of here.

134
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,420
Guys, we're locked in.

135
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,339
Very funny, Joey.  Move aside.

136
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,589
We're not locked in.

137
00:08:26,797 --> 00:08:27,917
Guys, we're locked in.

138
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,644
Oh, man, it is so cold in here.

139
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,849
Just relax. I'm gonna call the girls,

140
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,811
they'll come down here and get us out,

141
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,521
and... I have no reception!

142
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,903
And I have no reception either.

143
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,276
What took you so long?

144
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,824
I came as fast as I could.

145
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,277
And I brought my microwave.

146
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,744
It has a pizza button.

147
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,834
Okay. Were you followed?

148
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:02,384
By who?
What exactly did you get me involved with?

149
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,706
Only the most important mission
of the year: saving Thanksgiving.

150
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,050
Idea for Hallmark movie:
Saving Thanksgiving.

151
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,055
Honey, I love you, but I'm scared.

152
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,773
Stephanie has gone rogue.

153
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:26,444
She is not using
our traditional family recipe book.

154
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,784
Yeah, but she's still making
cheesy potatoes, right?

155
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,989
You may want to sit down for this.

156
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,030
No cheesy potatoes?

157
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,235
Wait, then how come
I smell cheesy potatoes?

158
00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:40,084
Because I have set up
an alternate pirate kitchen to cook 'em.

159
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,170
Yeah, she calls it a pirate kitchen,
but she won't let us wear eye patches.

160
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:50,464
No, Deej, it looks like you're cooking
a lot more than just cheesy potatoes.

161
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,590
Well, it started as cheesy potatoes,
but then...

162
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,846
Jackson, he wanted
the green bean casserole

163
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,388
and Max wanted
brown sugar sweet potatoes.

164
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:01,522
And of course, I had to make
Mom's picture-perfect pumpkin pie.

165
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,521
We've even got a ham
marinating in the bathtub.

166
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,652
Yeah. And I'm making a green salad,

167
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,531
because Stephanie is making
some watercress persimmon thing.

168
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,569
Oh, I love watercress persimmon thing.

169
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:14,406
You are on shaky ground, Steven Hale.

170
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,695
Okay, it's my turn
for the warm-lap turkey.

171
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,460
All right.

172
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:26,289
But if you take one nibble of that turkey,
I'm gonna bite your hand off.

173
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,667
Why haven't the girls noticed
that we're missing yet?

174
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,505
Because they don't care about us anymore.
We're old news.

175
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,761
Maybe you guys are old news,
but I'm still hot in Japan.

176
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,929
First, they try to get rid of us,
then they don't come and rescue us.

177
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:43,430
You know how many
Honeybee troop meetings

178
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:44,767
I went to when they were little?

179
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,686
It's unsettling
how the tables have turned.

180
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,022
They used to rely on us

181
00:10:49,106 --> 00:10:50,936
and now we're sitting here
relying on them.

182
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,525
Man, time is going by way too fast.

183
00:10:54,528 --> 00:10:56,778
Yeah, but the years
have been good to us.

184
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,873
I mean us, not Joey.

185
00:11:01,285 --> 00:11:03,195
Just think about it, guys.
When I moved in,

186
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,037
I was a handsome exterminator, and now...

187
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,535
I'm not an exterminator.

188
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:14,418
I was so single and poor back then,
I was willing to move into the alcove.

189
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,341
Oh...

190
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,511
That day that I moved
that hockey mannequin

191
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,805
from the alcove into the garage
was one of the happiest days of my life.

192
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,560
And now I got Ginger and the kids
and I'm headlining in Vegas.

193
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,942
Well, Vegas-adjacent.
Phoenix, but it's close.

194
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:36,200
You know, when you guys moved in,
I was just the looking for love host

195
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:37,948
of Wake Up, San Francisco.

196
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,196
And now, I wear glasses.

197
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,787
Yeah, boys,
we've come a long way together.

198
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,665
And to think the three of us
almost didn't happen.

199
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,792
-What does that mean?
-Nothing!

200
00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:55,511
No, no, no. Jesse just said
the three of us almost didn't happen.

201
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,469
Well, Danny didn't want you to move in
at first,

202
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,010
so it would have just been the two of us,
that's all I'm saying.

203
00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:01,509
-Really, Danny?
-No.

204
00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:03,385
You didn't want me to move in.

205
00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:07,392
Okay, my entire adult life
has been one big lie.

206
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:12,819
Look what you've done.

207
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:25,582
♪ And now I'm looking at you
Cooking back at me♪

208
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,576
Mmm, perfect.
Now all I need is the turkey.

209
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,747
Good morrow.

210
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:39,842
Wrong turkey.

211
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,976
We presenteth thee
A Thanksgiving Pageant, in one part,

212
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,901
by Fernando and the Gibbler Players.

213
00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:59,779
Look, before you guys get too deep into
The Handmaid's Tale, or whatever this is--

214
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,282
Blessed be the fruit.

215
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:08,162
Okay, have you seen
or heard from Dad and the guys?

216
00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,538
The question and answer period
will begin after the performance,

217
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,416
so please hold all questions
for the next 45 minutes.

218
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:21,761
-Don't forget about the puppet show.
-Right. The next hour and 45 minutes.

219
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:27,851
The year is 1620.

220
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,643
It's the first Thanksgiving

221
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:34,265
and light snow is falling
upon Plymouth Rock.

222
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:41,197
Don't mind me, I'm just going to plug in
this really loud blender.

223
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,079
She blocked the sun.

224
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,083
She's a witch.

225
00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:55,496
I tripped the breaker, okay?
I'm going to go upstairs.

226
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,746
Egad!

227
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,550
The witch is escaping.

228
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,474
Husband, fetch the musket.

229
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,681
Hey, Deej?

230
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,679
Where's the circuit breaker again?

231
00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:11,307
Hey!

232
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:12,482
What's going on?

233
00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:13,980
It's so weird.

234
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:16,311
I plugged in one appliance
and the lights went out.

235
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:18,937
That usually only happens
when there's a bunch of stuff plugged in.

236
00:14:20,651 --> 00:14:22,401
That is weird.

237
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:25,316
So very weird.

238
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,026
Hmm.

239
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,237
It smells so good up here.

240
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:30,910
Yeah, it's your food.

241
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:32,621
It's wafting.

242
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,378
It's so weird, though. I didn't smell it
all the way up the stairs.

243
00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:39,924
Well, it travels in pockets. It...

244
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:43,128
It finds the nose.
That's how wafting works.

245
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,761
-What was that?
-No, I wouldn't go in there.

246
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,934
Max can't find his holiday vest.

247
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,015
He's a wreck.

248
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,228
Oh, let me go talk to him.
I know how to get through to the kid.

249
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,730
No, no, no, no. No.

250
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:01,233
There's also a problem with the bow tie.
He's out of control.

251
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,195
Yeah, I will take care
of the circuit breaker.

252
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,529
I'll fix it in a jiffy...

253
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:09,124
...but I smell
something burning downstairs.

254
00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:12,035
You do?
That's weird, I don't smell anything.

255
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:13,499
That's the wafting. You better go.

256
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:14,959
Go, get! Get!

257
00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,835
Oh, Joey, please don't be sad.

258
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,459
Here, I made a scarf out of sausage
for you.

259
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:27,471
It may not keep you warm but it does
add a pop of color to your outfit.

260
00:15:28,886 --> 00:15:31,756
Sure you don't want to keep 'em
for just you two?

261
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:33,678
Come on, Joey.

262
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,599
It doesn't matter how or when
you joined this family.

263
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,765
All that matters is
you're an incredibly important part of it.

264
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:44,782
Joey, you've been a good, loyal friend
for 30 years

265
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,200
and we appreciate you.

266
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,316
Go on.

267
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,328
Joey, it's nothing personal.
I've always loved you.

268
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,038
It's just after losing Pam...

269
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:58,254
it just felt strange
to have a comic move into the house.

270
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,422
I had young kids.

271
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,460
You had crazy hours.

272
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,300
You know,
we might not get out of here tonight,

273
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:09,551
and I may not be able to tell you this
at the Thanksgiving table:

274
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,217
how thankful I am

275
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,560
that I get to spend my life
with both of you.

276
00:16:18,102 --> 00:16:21,812
Dang it. You two made my eyes water
and now they're frozen shut.

277
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,320
Come on, breathe on me.

278
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,242
I've awoken from my slumber.

279
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,454
I don't know which handsome prince
to marry.

280
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,793
Guys, we're gonna be okay.

281
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:41,170
Yeah.

282
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,214
Hey, Jess?

283
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,633
I think your hair turned to ice.

284
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,716
My gel must have froze.
Is it just that one spot?

285
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:49,969
Let's go with yes.

286
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,719
Without my hair, I'm nothing.

287
00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:56,967
We gotta get out of this place. Move!

288
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,270
The only thing worse than death
is going bald.

289
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,492
I got this, guys. I got this.

290
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:14,242
Got it, guys! I got it!

291
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,865
This is great. We're free!

292
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,116
- All right, way to go.
- Let's get out of here.

293
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:21,365
Yeah, way to go, Jess!

294
00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:22,542
All right!

295
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:24,789
Guys?

296
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,460
- A little help, huh?
- Oh, sorry.

297
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,546
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that.

298
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,509
Hey, Deej, I need you!

299
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,261
Don't worry, I'm coming.

300
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:38,677
I have got you covered.

301
00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:39,886
I knew you would...

302
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:41,772
pull it off.

303
00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:47,274
Wow. Steph, it's beautiful.

304
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,073
Thanks. It is beautiful, isn't it?

305
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,779
I'm sorry that I ever doubted you.

306
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,527
And that's all I did.

307
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,160
Doubt you, nothing else.

308
00:17:58,619 --> 00:17:59,749
Thanks, Deej.

309
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:01,618
If the guys would just get here with
my turkey,

310
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:02,915
everything would be perfect.

311
00:18:03,373 --> 00:18:05,043
Guys, guys, stop fighting!

312
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,665
It's just Thanksgiving dinner!

313
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,009
Once again, nobody is fighting.

314
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,968
Oh, hey, Tommy. You got something
on your face there, buddy.

315
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,513
Cheesy potatoes.

316
00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,098
Cheesy potatoes.

317
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,403
I didn't make any cheesy potatoes.

318
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:28,821
Oh, he probably heard that
in a rap song somewhere.

319
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,744
You made cheesy potatoes, didn't you?

320
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,316
Did you make anything else?

321
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:37,615
How could you even ask me that?

322
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,707
A green bean casserole?

323
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,001
"DJ didn't make that.

324
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,261
That was my green bean casserole."

325
00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:54,546
That's what you think Cosmo sounds like?

326
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,013
-No, it's more like--
-Kimmy, not now!

327
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,519
Come on, Cosmo. Let's get out of here.

328
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,555
"Yes, I agree, Kimberlina."

329
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,978
You made a whole meal, didn't you?

330
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,152
Not a whole meal.

331
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,855
I didn't even try a turkey.

332
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:18,492
What happened to believing in me?

333
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,911
Well, I do believe in you.

334
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,786
It's just those crazy persimmon recipes
I have a problem with.

335
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:29,377
No, your problem is that you always want
everything your way.

336
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:31,342
You know,
why don't you go upstairs

337
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:34,760
to what I'm sure is a tiny Williams-Sonoma
up in the boys' room

338
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,470
and go eat your cheesy potatoes, okay?

339
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,760
'Cause I'm going to go to Uncle Monty's
and get my turkey.

340
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:41,138
Steph, I'm sorry.

341
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:42,761
You know, I don't want to hear it, Deej.

342
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,056
Where are your keys?
I need your car.

343
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:47,557
Dad took them.

344
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,018
Fine, Joey's car it is.

345
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:56,736
Cheesy potatoes.

346
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:58,280
Her head is a cheesy potato.

347
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,178
I'm in the house...

348
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,260
and I'm still in the car.

349
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:25,927
Again.

350
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,347
Oh, no.

351
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:48,959
Maybe no one will notice.

352
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:03,849
Hi, Tommy.

353
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,274
There's a car in the kitchen.

354
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,063
There is?

355
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:17,108
Oh, my flashback!

356
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,856
Stephanie, are you hurt?

357
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:22,656
No, no, I'm okay.

358
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:25,912
I can't believe I did this again.

359
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,450
And I ruined Thanksgiving.

360
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,709
No, no, no, as long as you're okay.

361
00:21:32,332 --> 00:21:35,592
I am until Dad sees his house
and Joey sees his car.

362
00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,047
No, this is all my fault.

363
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:41,676
I should have trusted you
in the first place.

364
00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:44,798
Then you never would have gotten mad
and you never would have driven the car.

365
00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,059
So, you'll tell Dad you did this?

366
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:51,894
Oh, he'll never believe that.

367
00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:56,649
Well,
I'm just glad you're such a control freak

368
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,732
that you made an entire back-up dinner,

369
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:00,744
which we're actually going to need.

370
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,986
I must have hit my head
because I hear music.

371
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:08,414
So do I.

372
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:18,550
♪ Far♪

373
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:22,009
♪ We've been traveling far♪

374
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,052
♪ Without a home♪

375
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:29,852
♪ Not without a star♪

376
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:34,484
- ♪ Free♪
- ♪ Free, free, free♪

377
00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:38,441
- ♪ Only want to be free ♪
- ♪ Free, free, free♪

378
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:41,033
♪ We huddle close ♪

379
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:45,029
- ♪ Hang on to a dream♪
- ♪ Dream♪

380
00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:49,485
♪ On the boats and on the planes♪

381
00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:53,117
♪ We're coming to America♪

382
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,712
♪ Today♪

383
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,923
We should have stayed in the freezer.

384
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:08,139
Yeah, my turkey is getting cold.
I'll go in the kitchen and warm it up.

385
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,850
-I'm starving, we gotta eat!
-Guys!

386
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,140
Before you go in the kitchen, you might...

387
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,475
My car!

388
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:18,061
My kitchen!

389
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:19,188
My dinner!

390
00:23:20,482 --> 00:23:22,822
My country, 'tis of thee!

391
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:24,946
♪ Today! ♪

392
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,535
That's right, Merv.
I'd like to file a claim

393
00:23:35,622 --> 00:23:38,422
because my daughter
drove through the kitchen again.

394
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:43,959
Very funny. No, she's not eight,
but she should have known better.

395
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:46,585
Bye.

396
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:49,894
Dad, Joey, I am so sorry.

397
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:53,009
I'd like to promise that this won't happen
a third time, but...

398
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:56,056
obviously, I can't guarantee that.

399
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:59,597
That's okay, sweetheart.
I'm just thankful you're not hurt.

400
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:02,902
Don't worry about it, Steph.
It's just a car.

401
00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:05,783
Plus, I've got Rosie Three back in Vegas,

402
00:24:05,902 --> 00:24:08,162
which you'll never see, by the way.

403
00:24:09,030 --> 00:24:11,240
I think
you guys are all missing the point here.

404
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:13,834
We got out of that freezer
before I went bald!

405
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:17,161
We would have come to get you,

406
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,749
but we've been
dealing with typical Thanksgiving things.

407
00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:22,593
You know, a car in the kitchen,
a kitchen in the bedroom,

408
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:27,420
and Fernando explaining America to people
who've lived here our entire lives.

409
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:30,719
That's very American of me.

410
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,849
Well, I'm thankful you're here.

411
00:24:37,934 --> 00:24:40,654
America is so much fuller
with you in it, my love.

412
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:43,731
Hey, Deej.

413
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,565
At the risk of being
on shaky ground again,

414
00:24:45,650 --> 00:24:47,610
you got to try this persimmon salad.

415
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:51,775
Yeah, my palate rarely matches
Sandwich Steve, but the kid's right.

416
00:24:57,537 --> 00:24:59,117
Think we have a new recipe for the book.

417
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:00,746
Hey! All right.

418
00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:05,205
You guys, I know I make a really big deal
about these traditions, but...

419
00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:09,174
you have to understand,
for me, things like cheesy potatoes

420
00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:11,717
aren't just about potatoes
with cheese on them.

421
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:14,852
Well, what are they?

422
00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,352
Is it people?

423
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,611
In a way, it is.

424
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,494
No! No!

425
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,949
No, I mean it's a metaphor.

426
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,275
Thanksgiving is about people.

427
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:39,330
The people you love and the people
I'm most grateful for in the world

428
00:25:39,412 --> 00:25:41,922
are sitting right here in this house.

429
00:25:42,832 --> 00:25:44,082
I just love you guys,

430
00:25:44,167 --> 00:25:47,667
and getting together every year
is the greatest tradition of all.

431
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,047
Oh, Deej.

432
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:54,425
I love how much you care
about maintaining our family traditions.

433
00:25:54,511 --> 00:25:55,351
Thank you.

434
00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:58,555
And I promise to leave room
for new ones.

435
00:25:58,974 --> 00:26:02,394
Just as long as one of them
isn't driving through the kitchen.

436
00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,361
I think somebody's hungry.

437
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:15,818
Oh.

438
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:21,203
I think it's time for Danielle's
first piece of solid food.

439
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:24,122
And I know just what it should be.

440
00:26:26,668 --> 00:26:30,208
Mom's picture perfect pumpkin pie.

441
00:26:30,297 --> 00:26:32,507
You can't feed a baby pumpkin pie.

442
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:36,045
It's just pumpkin puree,
but she doesn't have to know that.

443
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,394
That's nice, another family tradition.

444
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:42,853
Lying to babies.

445
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:52,860
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

446
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:55,534
Happy Thanksgiving.

447
00:27:00,952 --> 00:27:02,952
♪ One, two, three, four♪

448
00:27:30,982 --> 00:27:32,982
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪