1
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,300
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪

2
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:19,444
♪ Whatever happened to predictability? ♪

3
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:23,309
♪ The milkman, the paper boy
The evening TV♪

4
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:29,452
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go♪

5
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,869
♪ There's a heart, there's a heart
A hand to hold onto♪

6
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,620
♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go♪

7
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:40,083
♪ There's a face, there's a face
Somebody who needs you♪

8
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,325
♪ There's a heart♪

9
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:44,166
♪ Everywhere you look, yeah♪

10
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:48,212
♪ When you're lost out there
And you're all alone♪

11
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:53,298
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home♪

12
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,176
♪ Everywhere you look♪

13
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♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪

14
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So, I said to his teacher, "Mrs. Garner,

15
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:05,937
You want to move Max up a grade?
But the school year's already started."

16
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:09,194
And she said, "Max is so advanced..."

17
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:11,647
"...fifth grade is a waste of his time."

18
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:15,276
Hasn't she run out of people to brag to

19
00:01:15,366 --> 00:01:17,486
that Max is skipping a grade
and starting middle school?

20
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:23,004
Yeah, okay, Dr. Reubenstein,
I'll let you finish that root canal.

21
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,670
What? Can't a mom be proud?

22
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:31,134
Well, there's proud
and then there's whatever you're doing.

23
00:01:33,676 --> 00:01:36,466
But Max does seem pretty excited
to hang out with the older kids.

24
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,926
When I was his age, the only older kids
I had to hang out with were you two.

25
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:43,524
Luckily, you were very immature.

26
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,613
That is so not true.

27
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,694
Hey, look.
I spelled "booger" with my Alpha-Bits.

28
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,947
Well, Max was born a 40-year-old.

29
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,365
Try 80.

30
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:04,540
The other day he told me to...
"Enjoy these days, they pass so quickly."

31
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,459
Then he gave me a dollar.

32
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,763
Hey, what are you guys doing up on time?

33
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:16,261
Trust me, I didn't want to be.
Max was up at dawn, exfoliating.

34
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:20,889
Yeah, and then he came to my room
to borrow my moisturizer

35
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,564
and kept calling it "drug store trash."

36
00:02:24,435 --> 00:02:27,105
Good morning,
Aunt, Brother, Mother, and Gibblers.

37
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Said in no particular order or bias.

38
00:02:32,443 --> 00:02:34,613
Ah, you went with the three-piece suit.

39
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,071
I'm in a new school with new kids.

40
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,372
Never get a second chance to make
a first impression.

41
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,289
My first impression in middle school
was...

42
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:44,371
Barack Obama.

43
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,165
Good luck beating that.

44
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,297
Wow, the back door is always open, too.

45
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,894
Hey, Ethan.
Thanks for driving us to school today.

46
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,598
I couldn't wait to see you.

47
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,058
Aw!

48
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,677
Ew, guys. Come on. It's way too early
in the morning for that.

49
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,557
-Bye, Mom.
-Bye!

50
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,358
You're probably wondering
why I called you here.

51
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,068
No, I am not.

52
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:18,025
You called us here?

53
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,164
I just came for a free sandwich.

54
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,365
We have a problem.

55
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,623
Oh, no.

56
00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,959
Are there possums in the kitchen again?

57
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,840
-There were possums in the kitchen?
-Shh!

58
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:35,717
Steve is talking.

59
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,547
Okay, so, you know how every year,

60
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,635
Uncle Monty's holds
a sandwich-eating contest,

61
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,310
where we compete against a customer
for free sandwiches?

62
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:48,595
I am co-owner of the Sandwich Emporium
and I have never heard of this contest.

63
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,783
Wow, you guys really need
to read my deli/podiatry blog,

64
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,069
Meat and Feet.

65
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,323
For years, Uncle Monty was unbeatable...

66
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,158
until a customer came along
with an appetite

67
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,454
even bigger than Uncle Monty himself.

68
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:11,583
Who could match the legendary
sandwich capacity of Uncle Monty?

69
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,043
Berkowitz.

70
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:16,841
Now that we own the store,

71
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,343
one of us has to take him on

72
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:21,644
to try to reclaim the coveted
Golden Submarine trophy.

73
00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,762
He's even eating a sandwich
in the picture.

74
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,926
We couldn't find one where he wasn't.

75
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,978
♪ Hey, hey, ooh♪

76
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:34,609
How was your day, honey?

77
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,571
Oh, you're not Max.

78
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,486
I'm not Max but I do like
a stale cookie. Mmm.

79
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,905
They're not stale, they're biscotti.

80
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,657
Which is Italian for "stale cookies."

81
00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,164
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

82
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,786
Hands off, those are for Max and me

83
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,922
and our annual
first day of school download.

84
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,088
We chat, we snack...

85
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,173
I call it Snack Chat.

86
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,758
What's your yearly banner budget?

87
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:03,764
You don't want to know.

88
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,677
Oh, there he is.

89
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,176
Time for Snack Chat.

90
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,388
How was your day?

91
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:12,901
Fine.

92
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,523
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

93
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:17,775
Where are you going?
I've got Earl Grey, I've got biscotti...

94
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,899
Oh, and I even printed pictures
of your teachers

95
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,566
so we can play Who Teaches What?

96
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,871
Skinny mustache, skinny tie:
gotta be biology, right?

97
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,699
Whatever. Got homework.

98
00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:37,464
-That was weird, right?
-I know.

99
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,214
I've never seen him
with his shirt untucked.

100
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,893
Even as a baby,
his onesie was tucked into his diaper.

101
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,135
I know what just happened.

102
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,179
Jackson went through the same thing.

103
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:54,477
We just witnessed typical
middle school boy behavior.

104
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:57,521
"Bruh."

105
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,784
"That was low-key cringe."

106
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:04,736
"Game over."

107
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,619
"Yeet."

108
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,463
Tonight, the winner of the family eat-off
will have the honor

109
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:17,844
to represent Uncle Monty's.

110
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:23,261
From the beginning of time, great moments
have been born of great opportunities--

111
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,051
Okay, can it there, Mighty Ducks.

112
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:31,719
Now, with Jimmy out of town,
it is obvious the winner will be Jackson.

113
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,391
You guys remember how much coleslaw
he ate for his birthday?

114
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,564
I didn't know it was for everyone.

115
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,074
Jackson, it was in a serving bowl
with a giant spoon.

116
00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:48,158
Stephanie does have a point.
Who eats more than a teenage boy?

117
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:51,488
How about a 40-year-old man
who just crushed his Zumba class?

118
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:55,498
Excuse me.

119
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,748
I'm famous for eating sandwiches.

120
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,554
For two decades,
it's literally all you knew about me.

121
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,297
Wait. Hey, what about me?

122
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:07,804
What about you?

123
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,929
Uh, I have just as much of a chance to win
as any of you.

124
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:12,177
Heh.

125
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,135
Cute.

126
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,484
Now, we're gonna settle this
the old-fashioned way:

127
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,771
by speed eating hoagies.

128
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:22,070
Okay, ready, set...

129
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:23,355
go.

130
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,575
Five, four,

131
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,044
three, two...

132
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,160
Sandwiches down.

133
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:58,765
That was a nice warm-up.

134
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,732
Okay, who wants to do this for real?

135
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,228
Ramona, did you just eat six sandwiches?

136
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,240
Seven, actually, and a few pickles
just to show off.

137
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,488
Let this be a lesson to you all.

138
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:12,446
Well...

139
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,747
looks like the new Uncle Monty
is Ramona Beatrice Gibbler.

140
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:19,499
Make way for this Notorious RBG.

141
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,211
You gonna finish that?

142
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,591
♪ Ooh, la la, ooh, la la♪

143
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,971
Here's your lunch.

144
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:34,474
No, thanks.

145
00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:37,305
After last night, I can't look
at another sandwich.

146
00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:40,023
Still stuffed?

147
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,192
No.

148
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,395
A sandwich represents all my failures.

149
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,783
That's funny.

150
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:47,648
Your mother represents all of mine.

151
00:08:52,990 --> 00:08:53,950
What's up, dudes?

152
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,042
Dudes?

153
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:58,453
Did that come out of you?

154
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,831
Is it dress-up day at school?

155
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:05,126
'Cause if so,
you are nailing basic American bro.

156
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:10,012
No khakis, no vest. Ha, ha, ha.

157
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,891
Very funny, Max. Go upstairs and change.
You're gonna be late for school.

158
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,756
It's all good.
I'm rocking this today, baby.

159
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,847
Did you just call me "baby"?

160
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,024
Sure did, shawty.

161
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:25,481
Max, did something happen
at school yesterday?

162
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,935
Whoa, fall back, Mom.

163
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,649
I'm in middle school now.

164
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,907
I retired my vest and ties.
I'm not a child anymore.

165
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:40,538
Well, you look like someone I know.
I just can't put my finger on it.

166
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:42,828
Hey, everybody.

167
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:51,166
Whoa, they're bro twins.

168
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:55,679
My man, love the threads.

169
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:56,851
Dude!

170
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,771
Ready to head to the shelter
for a little volunteer work?

171
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,063
Uh, one second.

172
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,816
Max, are you sure you're okay?

173
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,225
I'm great.

174
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,531
But do you mind running to the mall
and grabbing me some sweatpants?

175
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:16,411
You always say sweatpants
are a cry for help.

176
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,584
That was the old Max.

177
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,164
Later, skater.

178
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,212
I like that kid.

179
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,669
Go wait in the car.

180
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,142
Ramona, darling, sit down.

181
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,648
It's time we told you the truth.

182
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,402
Is something wrong?

183
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:48,805
Yes.

184
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,281
You have more of our genes
than is considered safe.

185
00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:00,909
The amount of sandwiches
you ate last night

186
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,543
is not an anomaly.

187
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:08,378
You come from a long line
of competitive eaters, on both sides.

188
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,956
Okay, well, if I have this superpower,

189
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,507
then I want to use it
for the greater good.

190
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:19,175
And winning this eating contest
is gonna be the perfect opportunity

191
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,761
to show the world
that women can do anything.

192
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,394
Even beat a guy like Berkowitz.

193
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:27,194
But you must nurture and hone this gift.

194
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,649
And believe.

195
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,226
I do believe.

196
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,776
Now, make me a champion.

197
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,073
Fifty-two.

198
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,161
Fifty-three. You can do it.

199
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,741
Come on, keep going! Faster!

200
00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:42,986
Fifty-four!

201
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,746
Gibblers don't quit. Keep going!

202
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,000
-Faster!
-More!

203
00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,724
Yeah!

204
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:06,103
Good job. You've got this!
You've got this!

205
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:12,978
Ooh!

206
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:16,737
Hey, quite a turnout.

207
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:18,986
-Where's Max?
-Oh, he's right there.

208
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,371
-Ooh!
-Booyah!

209
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,657
That's Max? He's wearing cargo shorts.

210
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,203
I've never seen his knees before.

211
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,711
He told DJ this morning he dropped debate
to take wood shop.

212
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,586
And then he told me a fart joke.

213
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:36,800
Which one?

214
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,297
I mean, how is DJ handling all this?

215
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,048
She's at the mall right now
buying him sweatpants

216
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,597
and questioning
every parenting choice she's ever made.

217
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,476
Welcome, everyone,

218
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:54,231
to the annual
Uncle Monty's Sandwich Eat-Off.

219
00:12:57,359 --> 00:13:01,199
In this corner,
our returning champion, Berkowitz!

220
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,700
Yeah! Berk! Berk! Berk! Berk!
Berk! Berk! Berk! Berk!

221
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,655
And now, our challenger.

222
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:11,205
She's talented, sweet, and loves to eat.

223
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,880
Ramona Gibbler!

224
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,891
We finally meet, Berkowitz.

225
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,555
What's up, Fun Size?

226
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:30,061
Shouldn't you be eating your Lunchables?

227
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:34,266
What, you think you got
what it takes?

228
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,895
Do I look like I don't?

229
00:13:38,734 --> 00:13:42,154
You're right. I'm going to rescind
that question, but keep the attitude.

230
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,156
-Hey, Ramona.
-Ethan.

231
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,370
Hey, you're here.

232
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,831
Why are you here?

233
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:56,294
To cheer on my amazing girlfriend.
I want to support you.

234
00:13:57,461 --> 00:14:01,171
You really didn't have to do that, like,
really, really didn't have to do that.

235
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:03,547
I wouldn't have missed this for anything.

236
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,474
All right, eaters.

237
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,314
The sandwiches are ready.

238
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:09,678
Great.

239
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:10,765
Um...

240
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,353
Just excuse me one sec.

241
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:17,862
Ramona!

242
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,820
She's forfeiting, I knew it!

243
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,241
Berkowitz win!

244
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,699
Okay, not so fast, all right.

245
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,951
I'm gonna go check and see how she is.

246
00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:31,537
Chop-chop, girlfriend.
I don't wanna be late for my spin class.

247
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,787
Didn't you read the sign? Employees only.

248
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,208
Oh, come on.

249
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,756
No one actually works here.

250
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,093
What happened out there?

251
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,013
It's no big deal, it's just...

252
00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:50,181
a stomach thing
and a breathing thing, and a...

253
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,561
a sweating thing.
Am I sweating? I'm sweating, aren't I?

254
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:56,098
It's just performance anxiety.

255
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,692
I promise, once you're out there,
the nerves are gonna go away.

256
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,525
I need Ethan to go away.

257
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:05,486
Oh.

258
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,622
So that's what this is all about.

259
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,164
Ethan's gonna see me
shoving food in my face,

260
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,503
and I know I'm supposed to be
all warrior woman, but...

261
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,036
I don't want my boyfriend to see me so...

262
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,787
Unfeminine?

263
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:21,549
Yeah.

264
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:25,091
And I hate myself for caring
that he's gonna see me like that.

265
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:28,801
I didn't think I was the kind of girl
to care, the woman to care.

266
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:31,058
I'm a disgrace to my gender.

267
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:32,675
No.

268
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:34,390
No, you're not.

269
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,475
You are your gender.

270
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:40,731
Women get all these mixed signals.
We're told to act like one of the boys.

271
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,114
But... then when we do,
the boys get intimidated.

272
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,572
-It's infuriating.
-And exhausting.

273
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:50,567
Look, Ramona, one of the most liberating
things I ever did

274
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:53,041
was to stop caring what people thought
about me.

275
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:54,697
Even DJ?

276
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,077
Well, let's not get crazy.

277
00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:00,668
So...

278
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:05,705
if a guy thinks me power eating against
a 300-pound man is wrong, then...

279
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:08,511
he's wrong for me.

280
00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,473
You said it, sister.

281
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,140
Come here.

282
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:13,812
Mmm.

283
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,434
Now, go out there and eat like a girl.

284
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,190
Go, Ramona!

285
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,445
You're a Gibbler with the gift of gobble,

286
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,070
so keep gobbling, Gibbler!

287
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:35,121
You got him on the ropes.
Now finish him, Ro-Ro.

288
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:36,332
Ro-Ro?

289
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,292
Now he's using unclever nicknames?

290
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,960
What, are you tapping out there,
Little Debbie?

291
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,458
You wish, Jerkowitz.

292
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,707
You can do it, Ramona!

293
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,931
All right, three, two, one!

294
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,140
Sandwiches down.

295
00:16:55,389 --> 00:16:57,559
Berkowitz, 12 sandwiches.

296
00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:59,141
Yes! Personal best!

297
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,478
Berkowitz wins, baby! Yeah!

298
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,861
Ramona Gibbler ate 13 sandwiches.

299
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,110
Yes! Gibbler wins, baby!

300
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:13,196
Ramona Gibbler reclaims the Golden Sub
for Uncle Monty!

301
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,122
Oh!

302
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:15,909
She did it!

303
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,659
You're pretty tough.

304
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,167
Thanks, kid.

305
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,575
So was that turkey.

306
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:24,416
I'm going to be Yelping about that.

307
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:32,263
That was the most amazing thing
I've ever seen.

308
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,428
Really? It didn't gross you out
even a little bit?

309
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,466
Nothing you do could gross me out.

310
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:38,636
Aw!

311
00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,690
Attention, everyone!

312
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,740
There is not a possum in the kitchen.

313
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:53,355
But, please, exit immediately
before you get bitten

314
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,655
by not... a possum.

315
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,288
Look at this.

316
00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:07,674
Max had me buy him pants
with an elastic waistband.

317
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,049
I didn't want to tell you, but earlier,

318
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,552
I heard him burp the entire alphabet.

319
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:22,097
P through Z was a struggle,
but he muscled through it.

320
00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,114
What did I do?

321
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,568
Well, I pushed him too hard.

322
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,489
I had such high expectations for Max

323
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:35,239
and I thought if anyone could handle
this jump, it would be him.

324
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:38,656
I'm a terrible mother.

325
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,711
No, you're not.

326
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,999
You did what you thought was best.

327
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:47,750
And you thought wrong.

328
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,298
Thanks a lot, Kimmy.

329
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:56,391
Well, nobody could have predicted
that he would go in this direction.

330
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,012
Actually...
maybe I could have predicted it.

331
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:03,680
You?

332
00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,311
I think I know what this is about.

333
00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:09,685
This is field trip to Fisherman's Wharf
all over again.

334
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,526
Of course.

335
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,779
Definitely field trip
to Fisherman's Wharf.

336
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:20,695
Come on.

337
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:30,089
You've led me astray long enough,
Calvin Klein.

338
00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:32,625
It's over.

339
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,263
Hey, Max.

340
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:44,602
I got you those sweatpants
and a... shirt with a sports logo.

341
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,648
Awesome, I was just getting rid of some of
my baby clothes to make room for them.

342
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:54,440
Uh, hey, buddy, did I ever tell you
about the field trip

343
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:56,896
Kimmy and I took to Fisherman's Wharf?

344
00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,280
We were in the third grade,

345
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,905
and Kimmy was sitting on the bus alone,

346
00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:04,372
wearing her classic bacon and egg scarf.

347
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:08,040
That's why I was alone.

348
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,330
All the kids always made fun of it.

349
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,335
Nobody wanted to sit with me
because they thought I was weird.

350
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:20,256
But then, somebody did sit next to me.
Do you know who that was?

351
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,258
Let me guess. My mom.

352
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:23,811
How did you know?

353
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,935
We're having a heart-to-heart talk
and if it wasn't my mom,

354
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,360
this would be kind of pointless.

355
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,863
Well, that bacon and egg scarf
was the reason I knew

356
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,695
I had to be friends with Kimmy.

357
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,280
I mean, someone who wore that
had to be fun and exciting.

358
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,578
I'm a very dynamic individual, Max.

359
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,004
I loved how unique Kimmy was,

360
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,288
and if she changed herself to fit in,
I would have never noticed her.

361
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,463
Well, I don't have a DJ.

362
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,304
At lunch, I heard the kids
who dress like this

363
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,717
say that I looked like an extra
from Young Sheldon.

364
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:11,522
An extra, not even the lead!

365
00:21:14,481 --> 00:21:15,771
I ate lunch alone.

366
00:21:15,899 --> 00:21:17,399
All these kids laughed at me.

367
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,608
And I could hear them the whole time.

368
00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:23,988
Oh, Max, I'm so sorry.

369
00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:29,714
I know I've always been a little different
than the other kids...

370
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,707
but I've never cared before.

371
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,172
But I guess middle school
is just different.

372
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:38,712
So I thought it'd be safer
just to blend in.

373
00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,341
That way they'd leave me alone.

374
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:46,135
I want the names of those kids
and their phone numbers

375
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,221
because I am going to tear them--

376
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:57,815
Fall back, Mama Bear.

377
00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:00,863
Look.

378
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:05,374
I know it seems like blending in
is better right now.

379
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,373
Trust me, Max,

380
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,407
kids like us were meant to stand out.

381
00:22:11,913 --> 00:22:14,333
Life might be more complicated and...

382
00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:18,002
it may take a little longer to find
our place in this world,

383
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:19,797
but once we do...

384
00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:24,505
it's filled with true support and love.

385
00:22:26,219 --> 00:22:29,509
Max, you are so special,
and we love who you are.

386
00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:32,983
And you will find people
at your school and in life

387
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:35,560
who will appreciate the authentic Max.

388
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:37,686
Just like your mom found me.

389
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:40,938
Really?

390
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:42,691
I promise.

391
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:44,912
What a relief.

392
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,160
Oh, I'm sorry, Calvin Klein.
I will never abandon you again.

393
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:56,119
Oh, my boy is back.

394
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,637
There you go, Mama.

395
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:09,052
-You've earned this.
-We all did.

396
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:14,018
You got Ramona through her issue
and you got Max and me through ours.

397
00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:16,267
Yeah, we are pretty great.

398
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:17,558
To us.

399
00:23:18,355 --> 00:23:19,395
And to our children.

400
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:22,281
May we nurture their talents,
whatever they may be.

401
00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:27,607
And may they dress however they like
and be whoever they are.

402
00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:31,197
Yeah, and may they poop once a day
and sleep through the night.

403
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:33,827
-Cheers.
-Cheers.

404
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,710
Well, so much for that.

405
00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:44,133
Thank you.

406
00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:49,431
♪ One, two, three, four ♪

407
00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,581
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la♪