MALIK: Izzy, you were my first self-tape.
You gave me hope.
You allowed me to dream.
[sighs]
Showed me that I could work any position
I put my mind to. Ooh.
And you, Marsha...
and you, Tianna, girl... Lord, have mercy.
Oh, Bella, especially you, Bella.
Ooh, rest in paradise, Bella.
♪ At the pearly gates
♪ Every thought...
The first step in your No-Nut November journey
is to rid yourself of all temptation.
Amen.
Look, I know this is hard,
but this cremation is the right move.
Don't say cream, damn it!
- This is some bullshit. - Just think about this.
In 30 days, you'll still have the internet.
Dawg, my collection is better than the damn internet.
Over 750 hours of dedication, bruh!
No, I can't do this shit. Mm-mm.
Nope, can't do it. No, no, no, no!
- Damn it! My babies. - I'm sorry, I had to.
Hey, just-- just think about why you're doing this.
This is the plan, focus. The owners will take you
seriously if you take this seriously.
Who the hell are you, my magical no-nut negro?
Oh, that reminds me.
[sighs] Here, man, think about this.
WOMAN: If sperm has the power to create life,
imagine what happens when you keep that life force within.
Now, let's recite the mantra together.
- Okay. - ALL: Get through today.
Tomorrow will take care of itself.
- [inhales and exhales deeply] - Okay, also,
got something for you, a little token of my appreciation.
If you haven't bust one when that clock strikes midnight,
you've officially made it through day one.
Now I'm horny for Cinderella.
- Damn it! - Malik, you got this, man.
Bro, do you know what the white party means to me?
Blacking out and waking up to five random white women.
[sighs]
It's my own personal form of reparations.
- Yeah. Okay. - Mm-hmm.
You got this.
Don't burn that book.
♪ Now you been served
♪ I like a ... with a little bit of curve ♪
♪ Hit this ... with a uppercut
- Okay. - ♪ Call it Captain Hook♪
Okay, girlfriend.
[both humming to the song]
- You like that song? - Yes, queen.
It's all right, but it's cute.
- I like it. - I like it, too.
I'm thinking of putting it in the pile with my other likes.
I have, like, six more to try on.
Yeah, you got a lot of returns for Monday.
Also, I got something for you.
I get to go to the white party?
- Yes, girl. - I'm gonna meet Ari Lennox?
- [laughing] - [squealing]
♪ Need a Mr. Clean...♪
- Oh, my God. I love this. - Not that one.
- Mm. - That one.
Wait, a server's uniform?
You want me to work the white party?
No, I want you to work the room,
because Ari Lennox has her own personal server,
and that's gonna be you.
Brit, I just-- I thought I was done waiting tables.
Okay. Well, if you don't wanna go...
No, no. I wanna go.
I'm gonna dance the night away.
Nice, steady pace.
Does it help you stop thinking about sex?
[both panting]
Nope. It's just making me think about Stephanie.
Tammy, ooh, Tammy's mama, Kelly.
- Kelly. Keisha. Ooh! - Let's do some cardio.
- Ooh, Trina's sister. Yes, yes.
- Get the blood pumping. - Ooh! Yes.
Get the blood pumping, huh?
- Ooh! - Here we go.
Cardio. Cool, cool. [pants]
All right, guys, let's really stretch those hamstrings out.
- Oh. - Side to side.
Oh, look at that,
one of my favorite students has just joined.
Hi, Malik.
I'm so happy to have you.
That's India Baroque.
Dawg, she's my kryptonite.
She's so damn fine.
I have wet dreams about her when I'm awake.
Is it midnight yet?
Close. It's-- it's noon.
All right, I'm about to be out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're going to the white party tonight, right?
Dawg, you know I need my sponsor.
I can't, man, I got plans.
You got a date?
Something like that. Yeah.
All right, well, at least somebody's smashing around here.
You got a few hours left, stick to it.
- Yeah. - Dawg, don't rub it in.
Don't say, "rub it in," Malik. [sighs]
As far as I'm concerned, my offer is final.
And I don't appreciate Garret demanding more money.
Oh, look at you, Colonel, you're getting all red.
Your blood pressure just rising. [chuckles]
Well, that is because of you, pretty lady.
Aw. Look, I'll handle Garret, okay?
He's whip-smart and stubborn, but he'll sign.
Meanwhile, I need you to take another look
at my new client, Jamison Fields.
He's a public relations nightmare.
No, he is a redemption story waiting to be written.
I gotta say, Tash, there aren't many things
- I wouldn't do for you. - [laughs]
But this is one of them.
I just hope you save a dance for this old cowboy,
unless Mr. Mack's the jealous type.
Oh. Mr. Mack ain't coming.
This is gonna be the first white party he's ever missed.
Well, that is a crying shame.
No, what's shameful is that this party is important.
I'm raising money for a sports academy
that our daughter wants to go to,
so I figure if I raise lots of cash,
it's gonna give them lots of reasons to accept my baby.
Well, I look forward to getting jiggy
and watching you raise millions.
Yes! Do that thing again.
Ha!
Ugh.
♪
This sushi was not flown in this morning.
- Sorry, ma'am. - Ugh.
- Hey, new school. - Yes.
Let's walk and talk, baby.
I need you to be on point tonight.
Now, I want my white party to make the royal wedding
look like a backyard barbecue.
Okay, well, Harry and Megan couldn't make it.
- Damn. - But the caterer is bomb,
and Ari just finished her sound check.
Ooh, that's what I'm talking 'bout.
- Boom, boom, clap. - Boom, boom, clap.
Oh, and I did some research, and apparently
Oprah, she raised two million for Oakmont last year.
Oh, so we gonna raise two million and one.
- Close the quote on that. - Okay, two million point one.
- Mm-hmm. - Quote closed.
- Auntie Tasha? - What?
I just wanted you to know that I could be more
than just an assistant.
If you just give me the chance, I mean,
I really wanna be you one day.
I can't even be me, okay?
I can't get a white man that has a Black girl fetish
to let her Black line into training camp, okay?
Okay, so what if I could solve your Jamison problem?
I just need you to solve my white party problems, okay?
Because that is the only concern you have right now.
Okay.
All right, ladies.
We're gonna start with some hip thrusts.
All right, get up in it.
- Mm! - There we go.
Thrust. Who y'all thinking about?
- Mm. - You, baby, you.
[laughter]
All right, we're gonna do some splits now.
- Mm-hmm. - Splits, so split it out.
Push the booty back, and drop it down.
Come on, Miss Gladys, you got it?
- Mm-mm. - Hush up, boy.
Remember, outside, I'm Gladys.
- In here, I'm Cinnamon. - Ooh, okay!
Yes.
- First, hand me my cane. - I got you, I got you.
Excuse me, sir, is there any hobby
you have that doesn't include stripping?
Ladies, let's get some sexy fireman spins, please.
- All right. - Uh-huh.
Miss Pitts, how can I help you?
Well, you are going to the white party.
- Oh, I am? - Mm-hmm.
Oh. I'm pretty sure Natasha said...
[clears throat] "Boy, stay out the limelight
"till I get you in somebody's training camp.
Tasha Miggity-Mac gonna make it happen!"
- Tasha Miggity-Mac. - Tasha Miggity-Mac.
[laughter]
Well, we called an audible,
and you're just gonna have some face time with the Colonel,
and once he gets to know you, Jamison,
- camp's a done deal. - Really?
Who the hell is this Jezebel?
[clears throat] Brittany,
welcome to Poles and Pasta, my weekly exercise class
for the sexy silver ladies.
WOMEN: Hey! - Hi, ladies.
It was my community service when I got out of prison,
but we liked it so much, we just kept going, right?
Mm-hmm, yes! [overlapping agreement]
Oh, okay, well, I see the poles. Now, where's the pasta?
Jamison makes lunch after class.
It's the best alfredo sauce in town.
- Oh, stop. - We love his cooking,
- and we love him. - Okay, girls, and I love y'all.
- Aw, they love you! - I love y'all too.
Let's get back to work, please.
- Less talking, more dropping. - Okay.
Miss Gladys, how would you like
to go to a white party with Jamison?
A whites only party? Uh-uh, I'll pass.
I might have to cut somebody.
[laughing] No, it's a party
with only white clothing
put on by a very, very Black woman.
We're gonna convince the team owner
to let Jamison play football.
I could really use your help.
Well, all right, anything for my future grandson.
Stop. [laughing]
Listen, God's gonna bless you, baby,
even if you can't see it yet.
And he has just blessed you, sir,
with a new suit.
Okay. [chuckles]
I mean, ladies, what y'all think?
- What y'all think? It's okay? - [women whooping]
Somebody 'bout to get baptized.
- Okay, I'm in. - Hot damn!
I'll be right back.
I got to go out in the van and get my switchblade.
[laughter]
- [music playing] - Whoo!
♪ Pressure
- Ooh. - Hold up.
- Hold up, hey, hey. BOTH: Pressure.
- Ha. BOTH: Pressure!
- Ay! - Ay!
♪ Keep your eyes on me, eyes on me ♪
♪ Apply that [pressure] ♪
♪ Get it, don't be timid, when you in it ♪
♪ Apply that [pressure]
♪ Love up on it, nibble on it, leave it [pressure] ♪
♪ I don't want no drip, baby, spray it like you mean it ♪
♪ So fine and spicy, baby, jump up on this [pressure] ♪
♪ I guess that's why you like it, baby ♪
♪ Come and get this [pressure] ♪
♪ Takes a lot to excite me, baby, give it all you got ♪
♪ I'm a tough cookie, baby, hit the right spot ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah [pressure]
♪ Hit it, babe, mm [pressure] ♪
♪ Hit it, babe
Girls, thanks so much for assigning me to Ari.
I just met her, she's so dope!
See? See, I told you.
So now, you just gotta make it pay off.
- Right. - You know, like, you should--
oh, you should sing her the menu!
- I'm not doing that. - Okay, so you're a writer.
So, I don't know, write something
and you know, sing it when she least expect it.
Hold on, hold on. I gotta go, I gotta go.
What?
♪ Said you better hit it, bae ♪
♪ Fish and grits, lobster tail ♪
♪ Filet mignon, medium-well ♪
I'm not doing that.
♪ Yeah, said you better ♪
[cheers and applause]
All right, y'all, ladies and gentlemen,
give it up for the incredibly talented
and extremely beautiful Ari Lennox, whoo!
[cheers and applause, Malik laughing]
Girl, I'm feeling some pressure.
Whoo!
Anyway, uh... [chuckles]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the eighth annual
- Tasha Mack white party! - Miss Mack.
- Oh! - Miss Gardner, let me know
- if you need anything. - Thank you.
- Simone! Oh! - Tash.
BOTH: Mwah! Mwah!
Girl, I'm so glad you made it.
Tasha, this is just fabulous.
- Thank you. - Tasha Mack!
- Ari, oh, girl! - Oh my goodness, hi, love!
You were fabulous, honey.
Thank you so much for doing this,
I know your schedule is packed.
Oh, no, it's all love. It's all love.
Oh, thank you. Oh, I'm sorry.
This is Simone Gardner.
She's the headmistress at Oakmont.
I just love your music, I am a huge fan.
Thank you so much, and I'm a huge fan
- of this lady right here. - [clicks tongue] Mm!
Everything she touches, I support.
- Oh. - So, here's a little something
- to back that up. - Oh, thank you!
- Wonderful! - Oh, sorry.
No, no, no, it's all good.
You know, we're raising over two million dollars
for my girls' empowerment fund.
Oh, I think you mean endowment fund.
No, honey, I mean my girl's empow-pow-powerment fund!
- Oh! - Okay?
We gotta keep our girls empowered.
- Come on, let's party. - [laughing] Okay.
Hey, so Ari said she wants something tart,
but sweet, but not sweet-tart.
Did you just call me sweetheart?
If it'll get me a drink.
Just take a list of the specialty cocktails,
have her scan this.
Thank you, sweet-tart. Mwah!
Okay, now look, the lobster tails
are too close to the heat lamps, okay?
And make sure that all of the bars
have plenty of ice.
I'm talking big cubes, small cubes,
square cubes, round cubes.
That ice gotta be right.
Okay, I got it, Tasha. Who are you, Dr. Seuss?
Ooh, I'm gonna put your cat in my hat.
All right, now all my ladies
with the real hair, scream!
[man coughing]
- Hm. - Ugh.
- Okay, my bad, wrong crowd. - [laughter]
So, ladies and gentlemen, on a serious note,
tonight we are gonna give...
What the hell is he doing here,
and who's that bag lady on his arm?
She better have some cash.
Small cubes-- you definitely need some small cubes.
All right, now we take Venmo, PayPal, Ass-App.
- [laughter] - I'm sorry, I mean Cash App.
Damnit, Malik.
We gonna raise some money and have some fun.
[cheers and applause]
Okay, Malik, just make it through the night,
make it through the night. [muttering]
Let's give it up for my son, who just does not know
when to leave the stage.
[laughing] Yes!
Welcome, welcome, everybody.
You know, we are so grateful
for all of your generous donations.
Take a look at this board.
- [scattered "oohs"] - Oh, yes, honey.
We are at 600,000, and rising!
- Yes! - [cheers and applause]
And now, as a little token of our appreciation,
I need each and every one of you to look under your seats
for a very special, special surprise.
Oh, that's right, yes.
See, you get an envelope! You get an envelope!
Everybody gets an envelope!
- Uh-huh. - 'Cause you gonna put
some money in it.
Oh, and ladies, tonight, you all get an opportunity
to bid on two of Sin City's most eligible bachelors.
- [women swooning] - Let's give it up
for all-pro safety, Garret Evans!
- [chuckles] - Yes!
And my son, starting QB, Malik Wright!
Aw, hell no, man.
Look at you, you are sweating,
eyes are twitching. [chuckles]
- Classic VWS. - The hell is VWS, dawg?
Vaginal Withdrawal Symptoms.
You're doing No-Nut November, aren't you?
What? I ain't doing that.
Shit, at the white party? You out your mind, dawg.
Yo, Malik, only three more hours
before you got your first No-Nut day in the books, bro.
[chuckles] Malik, Malik, Malik.
This honest lion cannot lead the pack.
Good luck on your first day in abstinence, brother.
You're certainly gonna need it.
[chuckles]
Sorry, didn't mean to.
Aw, hell no!
Damnit, my mama know everybody!
Just stay focused, man. You know, think about--
think about the ownership, don't even look at her.
I'm focused on India Baroque.
I'm telling you, she's as flexible
as a rubber band, dawg, them thighs is calling me!
- Dawg, get me out of here, bro. - Come on.
Yeah.
Excuse me, I'll take a scotch, neat.
[chuckles] Got it.
Excuse me, he'll take a scotch, neat.
You're Raquel, Brittany's friend.
- I'm sorry. - And you're the guy
all the girls will be bidding big money on later.
- [chuckles] - If I could win you for $24,
I'd bid on you myself.
Oh, unfortunately, you can't afford me.
I plan to go for at least $28.
[laughing]
Right, so here's the game plan, all right?
I'm gonna get the Colonel's attention,
and then you, you're gonna jump in
- and say a few things. - Mm-hmm.
All right, and then Miss Gladys,
I want you to come in, and you just lay on
- the Southern charm. - Will do, baby.
- Thank you. - Oh.
I think we already got his attention.
- Young Mr. Fields. - Colonel.
Well, I gotta say, your golf acumen is outstanding.
Thank you, sir.
But we both know that 90% of the game
happens between the ears, right?
Mm-hmm.
Colonel, I am Brittany Pitts, Tasha's associate.
- Pleasure to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
And I'm Gladys Whitaker, of the Savannah Whitakers.
Do you know, Gladys here,
she won a Savannah cobbler bakeoff.
- You don't say. - Mm, that's right.
I love cobbler.
The next time I have a good cobbler in Vegas
will be my first time. [laughter]
Well, that's 'cause you, my dear Colonel,
don't know where to look.
Well, Miss Gladys, you point me in the right direction.
Will do.
There's a nice place up in North Vegas.
Thank you so much, honey. Ah!
["We Got the Beat" by The Go-Go's playing]
Oh, hell no.
Ain't no white music at the white party.
Tasha, this is Brett Morris.
He's one of Oakmont's most dedicated donors.
- Ooh! - Mrs. Mack, what a great event.
I am so inspired by what you're doing.
Well, you know, it's easy to open your heart
when it's for a good cause,
and it's also easy when you know a lot of rich folk.
All right! Thank you! [laughter]
- Ah! - Well, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go find myself a dance partner,
because I love this song.
- BOTH: Oh! - Very nice meeting you.
- Turn it up. - Oh, Tasha.
- Yeah. - I know you are gonna be
such a great addition to the Oakmont family.
[gasps] In fact,
our big scrub is coming up.
See, our dedicated parents
bond by getting their hands dirty
- scrubbing down that academy. - Ooh.
Oh, I know you are just gonna love
that scrub-a-dub-dub.
Ooh!
- Okay! - [laughing]
I ain't scrubbing shit.
But turn that up, baby!
-♪ We, we got the beat -Oh, yes! White them checks--
I mean, write them checks! Ah!
You know, I haven't been to an event like this
since my husband passed.
Oh, my condolences.
Oh, it's all right, honey.
I'm feeling light again. [chuckles]
You know, that young man Jamison,
he's blessed my life in so many ways.
I figure the Colonel will do whatever it takes to sign me,
including inviting Jamison to camp.
That's what I thought. Okay, but he's a tough nut,
'cause he's not even budging on Jamison.
I appreciate your effort, though.
How do you know Mr. Fields?
Stripping.
S-strip-- stripping?
[laughing]
I joined an exercise class for seniors.
- He's our instructor. - Oh.
Now, look, I'm gonna close your deal tomorrow, all right?
And I'm gonna get a few extra mil just for our trouble.
So, I'm thinking, four years, 75 mil?
About that, I think our current course of action is best.
He opened his wallet for Malik, he'll do the same for me.
Okay, wait, wait. You're joking, right?
- No. - Okay, 'cause look,
if he don't pay and your ass get hurt,
you're gonna lose so much damn money
they gonna do a documentary about you
called "Broke-Ass Bloke."
I'll honor my contract,
but I won't re-up unless the Colonel
meets every single dollar of my demand.
Never met a young man so caring,
selfless, and dedicated.
Whoo, well, I wish he'd marry my granddaughter.
[chuckles]
You know, it's a shame
he's not on somebody's football team.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's get this bidding started.
- Yeah. - We've got Malik.
He is 6'2" and he is in prime physical condition.
- Yes, he is. - As you can see,
he's a fine specimen. He's healthy.
- Whoo! - He's sturdy,
and he's strong on the field.
Bro, turn that shit around.
My name ain't Kunta and this ain't no damn slave auction.
[scattered laughter]
Let's start the bidding at $5,000, shall we?
I got $5,000 to the lady with the braids right here.
Can I get $6,000?
$6,000 right there down front.
Can I get $8,000?
- $8,000. - $8,000.
Can I get $9,000?
$9,000.
Can I get 10? Ten-thous--
10,000.
I got 10,000 to India Baroque.
I love your glute ex, sweet girl.
Can I get 11,000? 11,000?
I got 11,000 right here.
12,000, 12-- 12,000 right here.
13? 13 in the back.
- Can I get 14,000? - 14,000.
I got 14 right over here. How 'bout 15?
- 15,000! - Yes!
- [laughing] - 16,000.
- We got 16. - Come on, Granny,
- save me, save me, save me. - 25,000 cash.
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Granny got bank.
I got $25,000. Can I get 26?
25 going once. 25 going twice.
Three times, call it. Call it, call it.
- All righty, sold! GLADYS: Woo-hoo-hoo!
To that beautiful young lady with the cane!
Yeah, yeah!
All right now. Move out the way, sugar.
Let me get my stuff.
[glasses clinking]
Hey. Ready for the next drink?
Thank you, but I'm good.
Oh, it's just, you know, the bar's just really backed up,
so you should put in your order now.
All right.
Oh, wait, this one's been messing up all day.
Try this one.
[beeping]
It's my artist website.
Please, just take a listen. I hope you like it.
I'm sorry, I'm not sorry.
Just...
Looks like Miss Gladys found herself a date.
She certainly is enchanting.
Mm-hmm.
Enchanting enough to change your mind?
Miss Brittany, Jamison seems like a nice young man.
But as I told Tasha and Malik,
he's not a good fit for the Fighting Fury.
You good, girl?
- I've been better. - I heard that.
["Wobble" by V.I.C. begins]
Oh! That's my shit!
I told y'all that they'd play this.
- We gotta go. - No, no, no, no, I can't.
- I can't wobble and work. - Let go!
♪ All the shawties in the club ♪
♪ Let me see you just
♪ Back it up, drop it down, let me see you just ♪
♪ Get low, scrub the ground, let me see you just ♪
♪ Push it up, push it up, let me see you just ♪
Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it.
Y'all ready? Y'all ready? Ha! Oh!
♪ Baby, wobble, baby, wobble ♪
♪ Wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble ♪
♪ Get in there, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Get in there, yeah, yeah
♪ Get in there, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Get in there, yeah, yeah
Go, Colonel!
[overlapping shouting]
Malik! What you doing?
Why you look like a drunk turkey? [laughing]
I'm doing this No-Nut November thing, mama,
I can't bust one for a whole month.
Got me wobbling a little off.
Oh, my Wilbur tried that once.
- Uh-huh? - It was a hellish two days.
Oh, actually, this skirt is what bumped it.
- Ooh! All right now. - Whoo!
- Don't hurt nobody. - [laughing] Okay.
♪ Haters blue in the face like Gonzo ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm baking a cake, so let's bake ♪
♪ Girl, wobble it, and I'm-a gobble it ♪
♪ I see you moving your head
Malik, I don't know what is wrong with you, okay?
No matter how many problems that me and Pookie have,
he give me a variety pack of nuts, okay?
- Okay, good, okay, yeah. - I'm talking 'bout peanuts.
- Okay, got it, Mama, got it. - Almonds, cashews.
- Chocolate-covered nuts. - Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
To nut or not to nut. That is the question.
- And the answer... - Is?
Hell, yeah! [laughter]
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna make it, I'm gonna make it.
Okay.
- I'm gonna make it. - All right.
♪ I move with the lead of a pencil ♪
♪ And mine won't miss you, goodnight kiss you ♪
I'm gonna make it.
♪ Take it there and back 'cause you got pistols ♪
♪ And I don't think Donnie Vick can run these issues ♪
Oh... oh. I'm gonna make it.
He ain't gonna make it.
He is not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna make it. I ain't gonna make it.
♪ Get in there, yeah, yeah ♪
But look who made it.
Look who just beat Oprah, fam!
[cheers and applause]
- Over two million! - Oh, yes!
And look who is having a grand old time.
- Mm-hmm. - [laughing]
Where he at? Wobble, baby, unh, unh, unh.
- [chuckles] - Oh-ho-ho-ho.
- Mm-hmm. - Shit.
Ooh. Wait, wait.
Please respect my boundaries.
Just relax.
I got your boundaries.
[Malik moaning]
Just make it through the day, Malik,
just make it through the day. Wait.
Don't wait. Don't, don't.
[moaning]
Oh, fuck it.
[India moaning]
[watch chiming] Oh!
Whoo!
I made it through the day.
Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Um...
Where are you going?
To celebrate.
Hey, what are you doing in 29 days?
♪ That's life, five or six remember last night... ♪
Hey, so I-- I spoke with the Colonel,
and it's not a "no."
It's just a "not right now."
But it's okay, because I'm already working on a plan B.
Yeah, I appreciate that, Brittany, but we both know
it's not gonna happen.
My God in heaven.
Jamison Fields.
- I thought that was you. - Mr. Morris.
What is it, only, um, 92 days
since you've been out of prison,
and you're already at an event like this.
How fucking fair is that?
I did my time.
As far as I'm concerned, I can go anywhere I want to.
And as far as I'm concerned,
three years is a joke for what you did to my daughter.
I didn't do anything to your daughter, Mr. Morris.
Okay. All right. Everybody-- everybody, calm down.
This criminal has no business here.
Are you serious, man?
- Jamison, Jamison. - And I want him gone, now.
- No, I need to leave. - You don't have to go anywhere.
Because if I stay here, it'll get out of hand.
What the hell is going on here?
I came here to support young girls
and ensure their future, but I am forced
to see the thug who took advantage
- of my little girl? - Okay, wait a minute.
Can we just talk about this in private?
No, no, no, no. There is nothing to discuss.
You should be ashamed to let a thug like that
- dishonor this event. - Wait, hold on.
I'm all about supporting women.
Now, I feel for what happened to you and your daughter,
but what happened to Jamison, it stinks.
'Cause if he was your son,
he would've got a slap on the wrist.
But his father was Black, so he went to jail.
That's ridiculous, and it's offensive,
- and I want my donation back. - [scoffs]
Take your damn donation, I don't need your money.
Here, take it.
You know, it's pretty obvious you don't have a daughter,
because you can't understand that kind of love.
You know what, not only do I have a daughter,
I have a Black son who could have suffered
the same fate that Jamison did.
Now, Mr. Morris, I understand your pain.
But the love that I have for both of my children
is just as strong as the love you have for yours.
[Morris scoffs]
[sighs]
See? Now, that's what happen
when Black folk throw a white party.
White folk get mad.
[laughter] Ain't that a bitch?
Whoo! All right, DJ.
[snapping] Drop that beat.
[music begins]
All right, y'all, the night is still young.
- Tasha. - [sighs]
- I am so sorry. - No, no, no.
Listen, the past few days,
Malik, Miss Brittany, and...
that nice older lady-- with a knife--
have all been asking me to give Jamison a second chance.
But what you just did... [chuckles]
...to Brett Morris? [grunts]
That was inspired.
If all these people, and you, a woman whose opinion
I've grown to respect,
see something that special in this young man,
then I guess I can risk seeing it too.
You tell him he's got a spot on training camp.
Are you serious, Colonel?
Book it.
And now, fix my Garret problem.
Okay. Ah!
Tasha! We did it!
Slow your roll, baby boss. Okay, I did it.
And it cost me 200 grand and a victory over Oprah.
You invited Jamison and that old lady, didn't you?
Yeah, I did.
That was a baller move.
Some might call it a Mack move.
Yeah, some fool would, okay?
But if that fool is fool enough
to ever pull a stunt like that again,
she could be out of a job, okay?
Okay.
Turn it up.
["Voodoo Hoodoo" by Marco Vitali playing]
What'd I miss?
I've never done anything like that in my life, you know?
But I just-- I don't even know what got into me.
I just had to shoot my shot, you know?
We're not friends, okay?
[gasps] I am so sorry.
It's okay, it's okay.
It was a stank move, but it worked.
I have a producer friend named Avery J.,
- and she thinks you're dope. - My G--
She started following you.
You got skills. Keep working it, okay?
Oh my-- thank you. Thank you.
- Oh my God! - What? What? What?
I knew it! She said I got skills!
What, she said you got skills?
Tasha said I'm a baby boss.
[both shrieking, laughing]
Oh my God.
Stop.
- You're fired. - Sorry.
We should get wasted 828 style.
828! Okay, I would love to, I would love to,
but really, I gotta-- I gotta handle something.
But I will see you at home, maybe.
Miss Navarro, care to dance?
Dance? I, um...
I just spent my $24. [chuckles]
It's okay. I'll take credit cards.
$1,935,000!
[cheers and applause]
Yes! Yes!
Wonderful.
BOTH: Thank you so much!
[laughing]
Get that. Ah! Perfect.
- Okay. - There you go, honey.
You know, that's almost as much as Oprah raised for us.
- Really? - Yes.
I didn't know. [chuckles]
- So, Simone, listen. - Yes?
Now, my daughter Kai is eight,
but she is already beating teenagers in tennis,
and I just know that Oakmont
would take her game to the next level.
- You are clearly invested. - Mm-hmm.
So, I am gonna sign you up for the big scrub.
Oh! Okay, well, you know what?
As the check shows, I'm down with Oakmont, okay?
But I'm also CEO of my own company,
you know, which is very demanding to my schedule.
You know, women in charge like us.
Girl pow-pow-power.
Yeah, see, Tasha, parent participation
- is mandatory. - Mm-hmm.
You can miss one event per term,
but that's it, there's no exceptions.
So, either you're all in, Tasha,
or Kai won't be.
I'm sorry.
- But this is wonderful. - Yes.
- Thank you so much for this. - You're welcome.
- You know, that is $1,935,000. - Yes.
I'm gonna need to get a bigger purse.
[both laughing]
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
♪ But I genuinely feel we should be ♪
♪ So I cling to a speck of hope ♪
♪ Hope that you'll see me, please, oh please ♪
♪ And I'm reeling, there's no need to speculate ♪
♪ I'm already on my knees
♪ Severed ties, jumped hurdles to be here ♪
♪ Now, I'm frantically dousing the flames ♪
You know, um... you shouldn't drink alone.
What were you thinking inviting me to that party?
- I was humiliated out there. - I'm sorry.
I honestly had no idea who he was.
You didn't care who he was.
This was not about me, this was about you
proving yourself to Tasha.
Yes, I wanna prove myself just like you do.
But the reason I go so hard for you
is because I believe in you.
Seeing that man tonight,
that look he had in his eyes,
that brought back so many memories.
I was 18.
And cocky.
Allison was 16, rich.
Her parents did not want us together.
And then my birthday came right before prom.
She lied to them so we can go together,
and then, that night, we, um...
It was our first time.
We fell asleep right in each other's arms.
But the next morning, the cops were everywhere.
I was arrested and promised probation
if I pleaded no contest.
But the judge had other plans.
The whole thing is just so messed up.
I served three years in prison
for just making love to my girlfriend.
I just want my life back.
I know nothing can change what happened to you.
But you will get your life back, Jamison.
And it starts with following your dreams.
The Colonel...
he's invited you to training camp.
So, you, sir, are officially a pro football player.
[choking up] I'm sorry, what?
Yeah, it worked.
[laughing] Holy...
- So, it actually worked! - It worked.
It worked! [laughing]
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
I never thought I would tell anybody that story.
MALIK: Whoo!
It's the no-nut afterparty, baby!
- And now, Miss Gladys? - Uh-huh?
You know there's a big old pole upstairs
with your name on it, don't you?
GLADYS: Yeah, uh-uh-uh-uh.
Remember, I told you, my name is Cinnamon.
- Oh, Cinnamon. - Yeah.
All right, well, I guess I'm No-Nutmeg.
Ain't no party like a No-Nut party,
'cause a No-Nut party don't stop, whoo!
♪