1 00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:08,718 - Hi, Mickey, alcoholic. - Hi, Mickey. 2 00:00:08,802 --> 00:00:12,388 Um... I'm doing good, doing the work. 3 00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,558 This weekend was... 4 00:00:14,641 --> 00:00:16,434 weird, tough. 5 00:00:16,518 --> 00:00:18,227 My friends had this party, 6 00:00:18,311 --> 00:00:19,563 and let's just say... 7 00:00:19,646 --> 00:00:21,773 I let things get out of hand. 8 00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:24,358 I didn't drink. I'm still sober, 9 00:00:24,442 --> 00:00:27,070 but it was the first time in a super long time 10 00:00:27,153 --> 00:00:28,446 that I felt like getting fucked up, 11 00:00:28,530 --> 00:00:31,074 so I thought I should bring myself to a meeting. 12 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:43,336 -Mickey? Mickey! -Oh! Hey, Dianne! 13 00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:45,589 Yeah, I thought I saw you in there. 14 00:00:45,672 --> 00:00:47,841 Hey, beautiful. Oh, it feels like forever. 15 00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:50,802 Yeah. Uh, work and everything, yeah. 16 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:53,597 -You wanna smoke? -Uh, no. I quit. 17 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,599 - Oh, good for you! - Yeah, I know. 18 00:00:55,682 --> 00:00:57,058 So how are you? How are things with you? 19 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:58,768 - They're good? - Yeah. 20 00:00:58,852 --> 00:01:00,770 Yeah, do they not seem good? 21 00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:02,606 No, no! I just... Um... 22 00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:06,484 You know, what you said in there, and... 23 00:01:06,568 --> 00:01:07,819 and I know. 24 00:01:08,570 --> 00:01:10,572 I know. I've been there, sweetie. So, you know what? 25 00:01:10,655 --> 00:01:13,742 If you feel like picking up a drink, you pick up the phone instead, 26 00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:15,368 'cause I know you have my number. 27 00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:17,536 - Don't file it-- - Dial it. 28 00:01:17,621 --> 00:01:18,622 -Yes, I know. -Yes. 29 00:01:18,705 --> 00:01:19,914 -Okay. -You're right, you're right. I will. 30 00:01:19,998 --> 00:01:22,291 I know, I know, everybody hates making the calls, 31 00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,836 but I'd love to hear from you. I really would. 32 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,420 And I will do that. 33 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,506 You know, it's amazing how many things you can get done 34 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,300 when you take out that part of your brain that's focused on not getting high. 35 00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:32,468 Right. 36 00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:35,096 I'm just getting to know myself. 37 00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:37,724 It's the longest I've ever been single. 38 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,769 It's so nice to not be seeking all these outside things, 39 00:01:40,852 --> 00:01:43,938 you know, like drinks or guys or... 40 00:01:44,022 --> 00:01:47,483 You know, I-- I've just been so distracted by being happy. 41 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:06,169 Okay. 42 00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:07,253 Okay. 43 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,076 Mickey, you decent? 44 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:40,578 Yeah, I'm just changing my pillowcases. 45 00:02:40,662 --> 00:02:41,913 I should change my pillow. 46 00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:42,997 Do you know, after five years, 47 00:02:43,081 --> 00:02:44,999 half the weight of your pillow's, like, bugs? 48 00:02:45,083 --> 00:02:47,501 -What's up? -I just wanted to get my jacket. 49 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,045 Oh, my God. 50 00:02:49,128 --> 00:02:50,755 Bertie... 51 00:02:50,839 --> 00:02:52,006 you look fucking hot. 52 00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:54,092 -Really? -Very hot. 53 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:56,177 Thank you. Um, can I get my jacket? 54 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,971 Oh, the denim one? Yeah. 55 00:02:58,054 --> 00:03:00,264 So, uh, are you stoked for tonight? 56 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,350 -Yeah. A little nervous. -What? 57 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:05,186 No! You shouldn't be. Gus is a sweetheart. 58 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:06,562 I have a really good feeling about this. 59 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,564 Well, you know what? I've been thinking about it, 60 00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,274 and I have high hopes. 61 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,985 That's the spirit. 62 00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,778 And thank you so much for setting this up. 63 00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:16,697 It makes me feel good, 'cause I know you think he's nice, 64 00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:19,367 which means you think I'm nice, so I'm on your nice list. 65 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,660 So, it's like that thing where if someone says to you, 66 00:03:21,745 --> 00:03:24,080 "Hey, do you have someone nice you can set my friend up with?" 67 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:25,749 -That's me. -Yeah. 68 00:03:25,832 --> 00:03:27,375 I'm a very big fan of Bertie. 69 00:03:27,458 --> 00:03:29,794 And you deserve to be with a guy like Gus. 70 00:03:29,878 --> 00:03:31,212 -Here you go. -Thank you. 71 00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:34,382 So, what's going on? Are you guys going to dinner? 72 00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,217 -I think so. -Anything after? 73 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,677 I dunno. Maybe we'll hang out. Should we come back here? 74 00:03:38,762 --> 00:03:40,346 Will you be here? Or asleep? 75 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:41,848 I'll just keep my door closed, 76 00:03:41,931 --> 00:03:43,808 and text me, "Had a good night," on your way home, 77 00:03:43,892 --> 00:03:45,309 and I'll know you guys are gonna do it. 78 00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:46,978 Oh, I couldn't move that fast. 79 00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:50,356 Also, my period ended yesterday, so I really don't feel like... 80 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,191 I don't know, maybe I should just suck him off? 81 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,736 I can't tell you whether or not to blow somebody. 82 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:55,987 I can't be held responsible. 83 00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:58,740 Do you give blowjobs on a first date? 84 00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:01,325 Um, I have given blowjobs on a first date. 85 00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,995 I've only done it twice, and neither turned out ideal. 86 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:05,621 I mean, I don't want to be the kind of person 87 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,165 who doesn't give blowjobs, 88 00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,917 but if they're not any good... 89 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:12,045 Who cares? I should give more. I deserve to have fun. 90 00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:13,629 Fuck, yeah. 91 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:15,757 I mean, I don't know why I make such a big deal out of it. 92 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,218 Everyone says that blowjobs are, like, the new making out. 93 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,304 Look, there are risks either way. 94 00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:23,639 I gave a guy an amazing blowjob on a first date, 95 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,433 and he wouldn't stop calling me for three years. 96 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:28,937 I couldn't shake him. So there are pros to giving a bad blowjob. 97 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:33,441 What? 98 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,693 You look so pretty. 99 00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:43,993 Oh, he's almost here. 100 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,538 -Um... -You know what? Don't worry about it. 101 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:48,706 Just finish getting ready. 102 00:04:48,790 --> 00:04:50,541 -I will answer the door. -Thank you. 103 00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:55,379 -Oh, hey, Gus. Come on in. -Hey. 104 00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:56,672 Bertie's still getting ready. 105 00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:58,674 Okay. Sure. 106 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,676 Yeah, sorry, I'm a little early. 107 00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:01,928 You always are. 108 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,513 Yes. It's my trademark. 109 00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:07,016 So, you gonna take Bertie out to dinner? 110 00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,018 Yeah. Yeah, we're going to this place... 111 00:05:09,102 --> 00:05:11,479 uh, Tucker's, it's called. 112 00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:13,356 Tucker's. I never heard of it. 113 00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,648 Yeah, I hadn't either. 114 00:05:14,732 --> 00:05:17,610 But a foodie friend of mine, she usually knows what's up, 115 00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:18,903 and she told me to go, so... 116 00:05:18,987 --> 00:05:21,865 -Ugh. -What? What are you reading? 117 00:05:21,948 --> 00:05:23,992 I'm not reading a good review on Yelp. 118 00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:28,037 Oh. Oh. "The calamari seemed frozen." 119 00:05:28,121 --> 00:05:31,749 --Shit. That's not good, hmm? 120 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:33,042 Mmm, you know what? 121 00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:35,794 Fuck it, 'cause this is usually just one pissed off dude 122 00:05:35,879 --> 00:05:39,090 who had a bad experience and then wrote, like, 50 bad reviews. 123 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,799 Oh, that's nice of you to say, 124 00:05:40,884 --> 00:05:42,760 but I don't think Yelp allows you to do that. 125 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,137 Oh, you'd be surprised. 126 00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:45,679 This dry cleaner fucked up my jacket, 127 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,681 and I created all these fake email addresses, 128 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,017 and wrote all these bad reviews. 129 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:50,977 It took all day, but it felt great. 130 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:54,688 Oh. Well, do me a favor. 131 00:05:54,772 --> 00:05:56,732 Go on to Yelp and, uh, write some good reviews 132 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,026 for this fucking dump we're going to. 133 00:05:58,109 --> 00:05:59,818 - Can do. - All right. Good. 134 00:05:59,903 --> 00:06:01,695 What are you two giggling about? 135 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,781 Oh, uh, nothing. 136 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:09,078 Uh, Mickey was saying that the place we're going to is, uh, not so good. 137 00:06:09,162 --> 00:06:12,999 So, uh, I guess there's some bad Yelp reviews. 138 00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:15,126 But maybe we should go somewhere else then? 139 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,710 -I don't know. -No, I think that's good. 140 00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:18,754 Let's go and let's just see what it's like. 141 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,965 And even if it's bad, we should write a good review 142 00:06:21,049 --> 00:06:22,050 because we're nice. 143 00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:24,468 Yes, I agree. Perfect. 144 00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,387 Well, should we, uh... 145 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,763 should we hit the road? 146 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,015 - Let's do it. - All right. 147 00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:31,935 --Oh, my God. You're so cute. Look at this. 148 00:06:32,018 --> 00:06:35,229 In a year, I'm gonna be bragging that I introduced you at your wedding. 149 00:06:35,313 --> 00:06:37,941 -Oh, well I... -Oh. 150 00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,109 Oh, did I make it weird? I made it weird. 151 00:06:40,193 --> 00:06:42,695 -No. -No. No. 152 00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:44,613 -Let's go. -Okay, cool. 153 00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:47,366 Just a heads up, my car sort of smells like McDonald's. 154 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:48,534 Oh, great! 155 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,331 Sorry, I slammed that door harder than I meant to. 156 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,374 - It's fine. It's just a door. - Right. 157 00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:58,962 -Here's your table. -Thank you. 158 00:06:59,045 --> 00:07:00,129 Thank you. 159 00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:03,466 -Thank you. -Mmm-hmm. 160 00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:06,052 -Thank you. -And your waiter will be right with you. 161 00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:07,845 -Oh, great. Thank you. -Awesome. Thank you. 162 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,055 -Thank you. -Thanks. 163 00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,223 Thanks a lot. 164 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,475 Wow. 165 00:07:13,977 --> 00:07:16,104 -Nice place. -I know, right? 166 00:07:16,187 --> 00:07:17,771 -Fancy. -Yeah. 167 00:07:19,023 --> 00:07:22,110 And, um, you look great, by the way. 168 00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:25,238 Aw, thank you. You look really nice, too. 169 00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:27,073 Aw, thanks. 170 00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:29,867 We both clean up good. We should be proud. 171 00:07:29,951 --> 00:07:34,913 So I lend this bag of dicks $5,000, okay? 172 00:07:34,998 --> 00:07:37,416 Says, "Can I pay you back in three months?" 173 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,961 I don't even think about it. I keep my mouth shut. 174 00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:42,713 Three months go past, I don't have any money in my pocket, 175 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,049 and the motherfucker comes up to me 176 00:07:45,133 --> 00:07:46,592 and he asked me for another two grand. 177 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:47,843 - No, he didn't! - You wanna look at him? 178 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,513 I have a very strong mental image of what he looks like, 179 00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:52,306 so I really don't need to actually look at him. 180 00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:55,559 -Oh, what is it? -A flat, four-foot... 181 00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:59,063 -Mmm-hmm. -...but very big, very wide, 182 00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:00,523 but very small man. 183 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:02,316 Like, a sleeveless t-shirt, 184 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,152 and one of those, like, you know those things 185 00:08:04,235 --> 00:08:06,029 that miners wear with, like, the light on? 186 00:08:06,112 --> 00:08:08,156 -Sure. Yeah. -Yeah. No pants. 187 00:08:08,239 --> 00:08:10,699 - All to a tee. 188 00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:12,618 Good evening. My name is Ben. 189 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:13,911 - Hello, Ben. - Hello. 190 00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:15,413 Just so you know, we have a special tonight, 191 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:19,417 the steak, dry-aged 30 days, Wagyu beef, 192 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,336 mint on top, medium rare. It melts in your mouth. 193 00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:24,630 I had it last night and it knocked me out. 194 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,632 -Wow, that sounds so good. -Yeah. 195 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,841 I'll give you guys some time. 196 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,011 Can I start you with some water? Sparkling? Tap? 197 00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:32,180 - Uh... tap? - Oh, yeah, sparkling. 198 00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:36,767 Sparkling. 199 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,727 -Yeah, cool. -Okay. I'll be right back. 200 00:08:38,811 --> 00:08:41,105 -Great. Great. -Thank you. Thanks, again. 201 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:49,238 Mmm. Mmm-mmm. 202 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:56,579 This kid die or what? 203 00:09:15,223 --> 00:09:17,516 Get-- Grandpa! Stop eating yourself out. 204 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,185 Get out of here! 205 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:28,194 And now, you're just a few steps away from having your home 206 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:30,238 just the way you want it. 207 00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:32,448 Now on to design tip number 15: 208 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:36,535 maximizing living space by limiting yourself to just a few large items. 209 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:38,246 I like to use the three-day rule. 210 00:09:38,329 --> 00:09:41,124 Start by removing anything you don't use in three days. 211 00:09:41,207 --> 00:09:43,917 That will help you get rid of all unwanted clutter. 212 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:47,546 You'll find that moving only one or two items will get the job done. 213 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:49,382 And that's all there is to it. 214 00:09:49,465 --> 00:09:52,510 Following these steps will give you the living room of your dreams. 215 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:54,470 -Oh, thank you. -Thank you. 216 00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:56,722 And can I get you guys started with some drinks? 217 00:09:56,805 --> 00:10:00,643 Yeah. I'd love to get a glass of red wine, if there's anything you could recommend. 218 00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:03,729 Yeah, yeah. We have a NorCal Malbec that I'm quite fond of, 219 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,148 -right there. -Oh, great. 220 00:10:05,231 --> 00:10:09,152 -And for you, sir? -Um, yeah, could I just get a sea breeze? 221 00:10:09,235 --> 00:10:10,694 -Sea breeze. -Yeah. 222 00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,863 -I can hook you up. -Cool. 223 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,742 - Great. Nice guy. - Very cool. Very cool. 224 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:20,204 - A little cold in here. - Yeah. 225 00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,039 I just noticed there's, like, an air conditioning vent, 226 00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:23,166 like, right above you. 227 00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:25,418 It's just blasting cold air on you. Are you okay? 228 00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:26,752 Yeah, no, I'm fine. 229 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,754 -Do you wanna switch seats or-- -No, no, please. I'm fine. 230 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,048 -You want my jacket? -I'm absolutely fine, but thank you. 231 00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:32,508 Okay. Just let me know. 232 00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,427 I mean, if you get uncomfortable or anything... 233 00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,310 Uh, so you were saying you're a tutor? 234 00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:44,603 I'm sorry, what? I didn't... Couldn't hear you. 235 00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:47,898 Oh, that's okay. People say I always mumble. Um... 236 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,067 No, no, no. I just have terrible hearing. 237 00:10:50,151 --> 00:10:51,360 That's fine. 238 00:10:51,444 --> 00:10:53,487 - Well, we're both crippled. 239 00:10:53,571 --> 00:10:55,698 Um, you were saying you're a tutor? 240 00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:57,658 A tutor, yes. Yeah. 241 00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:01,370 Uh, on-set teacher for the show, um, Witchita. 242 00:11:01,454 --> 00:11:04,122 So the kids on the show, you're like their school? 243 00:11:04,207 --> 00:11:06,917 Uh, yeah, basically. 244 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,044 What about you? What do you do? 245 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:12,631 Oh, I work for this company called Golden Coast Research and Surveys. 246 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,467 We specialize in focus groups. 247 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,219 Oh. Fun. 248 00:11:16,302 --> 00:11:19,513 And you, like... you moderate the focus groups or... 249 00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:21,390 Oh, I don't really like to think of it as moderating. 250 00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:23,309 I think it's more like interacting. 251 00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,936 So what I do is I try to get a dialogue going 252 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,187 and then I just listen. 253 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:28,814 That's what I love about my job. 254 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:31,609 It's about listening, and it's about working together, 255 00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,444 and creating a consensus, 256 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,821 and then giving that information to corporations, 257 00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,656 so that they can make better products for consumers. 258 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,493 That's a cool perspective, 'cause I feel like a lot of times, 259 00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:43,036 the way people talk about focus groups, is, like... 260 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,580 They rag on 'em, you know, 'cause it's like, 261 00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:47,708 "Oh, they dumb things down," or "They water things down," or... 262 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,127 That came out rude. I didn't mean it. 263 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,838 No, I understand. I mean, I disagree, but, um... 264 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,299 I disagree, too. I don't feel that way. It's just, like, other-- 265 00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:57,968 You know what? I'm gonna have a quick look at the menu 266 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,220 'cause I really wanna decide what I'm gonna order, 267 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:02,681 and it's hard for me to concentrate if we-- 268 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,099 -We keep talking. Yeah, no. -Yeah. 269 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:06,352 I know. I always think about that, like, at a restaurant. 270 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:07,478 I'm always like, 271 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:11,189 "Hey, when do we just stop talking, and focus on the... the menu?" 272 00:12:11,274 --> 00:12:13,817 - So, um. Yeah. - The shower head started to leak. 273 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:16,612 Bam! The shower head blast off! 274 00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:18,656 - It did? - Yeah. 275 00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:20,783 And I'm sorry, but, uh, a shower head 276 00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:22,576 is the last thing I want coming at me when I'm naked. 277 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:25,037 --No doubt! 278 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,665 - Boom! Ahh! 279 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,669 All right, here we are. 280 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:34,630 Red wine for you, sir, and a sea breeze for the lady. 281 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:36,256 Oh, thank you, but actually, it's... 282 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,050 -Yeah. -What happened? Oh! Oh, man-- 283 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,343 Oh, no, how did I mess that up? 284 00:12:39,427 --> 00:12:41,512 -No, it's okay. -Oh, I feel terrible. 285 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,597 You know what? Those drinks are on the house. 286 00:12:43,681 --> 00:12:44,932 -Oh, seriously? -Yeah. 287 00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:47,142 From me to you, on the house, just because. 288 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:50,813 -That's nice. Thank you. -Wow. That is very generous. Thank you. 289 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,940 -And I think we might be ready to order. -Sounds great. 290 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:55,275 Give me just one moment. I'll be right back. 291 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,527 -Oh. -Okay. 292 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,323 Nice. Free drinks. 293 00:13:00,406 --> 00:13:03,617 Yeah, it's a bit of a move, though, on his end. 294 00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,661 You know, waiters do that. They give you free drinks, 295 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:08,956 so you give 'em a bigger tip and order more food. 296 00:13:09,039 --> 00:13:10,958 I mean, he doesn't lose anything by giving us free drinks. 297 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,418 It's all gain for him. 298 00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:15,504 It's cool. I'm just saying he's not that nice of a guy. 299 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,466 You wanna toast? 300 00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,008 -Yeah? Let's toast. -Sure. 301 00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:22,302 -To what? -Uh, well, 302 00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:23,596 Frank Sinatra used to say, 303 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,848 "May you all live to be 100 years old. 304 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:31,019 And me, 100 years old minus one day so I don't have to see you die." 305 00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,396 Huh. Did he really say that? 306 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,522 I think so. 307 00:13:33,606 --> 00:13:35,232 -Cheers. -Cheers. 308 00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,487 You know what? I don't care what Yelp says. 309 00:13:39,570 --> 00:13:40,779 I'm liking this place. 310 00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:43,198 Yeah, me, too. It's not so bad. 311 00:13:43,281 --> 00:13:45,283 Mickey said you can't trust that anyway. 312 00:13:45,368 --> 00:13:47,495 Like, usually it's just, like, one angry guy who has, 313 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:50,122 like, a bunch of different accounts, who writes a bunch of bad reviews. 314 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:52,666 She did that to a Thai place once. 315 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,543 She told me she did it with the dry cleaners. 316 00:13:54,627 --> 00:13:57,421 Oh, she did both. Mickey's a badass. I love her. 317 00:13:57,505 --> 00:14:00,173 Aw. Such a badass. Yeah, she's awesome. 318 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:01,384 She keeps me cool. 319 00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:02,510 -Yeah. -Both of us. 320 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:04,302 I think maybe that's why she set us up. 321 00:14:04,387 --> 00:14:07,180 Oh, yeah. Like... like, what do you mean? 322 00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,350 Oh, you know, just, like, she's a lot cooler than me 323 00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:13,396 and you're, like, a really nice guy, but... 324 00:14:13,479 --> 00:14:14,605 -Right. -Uh, never mind. 325 00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:16,189 -I don't think I said that right. -Oh. 326 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:20,152 Yeah, like, Mickey just hangs out with the cool kids. 327 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,362 Like, I'm not a cool kid. 328 00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:23,030 Oh, I wouldn't put it that way. 329 00:14:23,113 --> 00:14:25,240 What? I mean, come on. 330 00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,493 Yeah. Yeah. 331 00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:30,996 No, it's cool. I just... I didn't know she was such a puppeteer. 332 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,040 -I don't think that's what's... No. -Okay. 333 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,458 Okay. No, it's cool. 334 00:14:34,542 --> 00:14:36,126 I didn't... 335 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,586 It's fine. Um... 336 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,714 -Ugh. -You're still cold? 337 00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:42,257 I've adjusted to it. I like it. 338 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:45,260 Don't suffer just so other people are comfortable. 339 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,054 I used to be that person. You know, I used to be 340 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,890 somebody who was, like, afraid to ask for things because 341 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,017 - out of fear or whatever. Just tell me. 342 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,769 If you're uncomfortable, just say you're uncomfortable. 343 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,104 -It's fine. -Sue me, I don't like shrimp! 344 00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:57,565 I love shrimp! 345 00:14:57,648 --> 00:15:01,068 Are you kidding? They're horrible! They're all veiny. They look like insects! 346 00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:03,195 Hey, let me ask you this. Hey, buddy, let me ask you this. 347 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:05,989 Uh, between a horse and... 348 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,534 and a ferret and, um, a shrimp, 349 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:10,035 which one looks more like an insect? 350 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:13,246 Hey, glasses! Come on. Shrimp, thumbs up, thumbs down? 351 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:14,957 -Which? -I don't know. 352 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,417 - Thumbs up? - Wrong! 353 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,168 Why don't we just switch tables? 354 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,421 'Cause they're being loud, and I can tell they're annoying you, 355 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:21,964 -and you're cold... -Oh, really... 356 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,049 ...and I think it'd just be better if we-- Just let me ask. 357 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,968 -Okay. -Let's just see if it's possible, okay? 358 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,052 Sure. 359 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:30,055 Excuse me? Hi, um, could I... 360 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,057 Okay. So... 361 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:33,976 Excuse me? 362 00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:37,688 Who am I, fucking Invisible Man? 363 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:38,981 Oh, no. 364 00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,484 Nothing more emasculating than, like, not being noticed. 365 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,027 I might as well just take this knife, you know, 366 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:45,320 just come in here and cut my dick off. 367 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,741 -Oh, God. -Um... excuse me. 368 00:15:48,824 --> 00:15:51,577 Our waiter's not seeing me. I'm just gonna talk to him. 369 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:53,454 -I really don't need to-- -No, no, no. It's cool. 370 00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,248 -It's gonna be fine. It's good, it's good. -Okay. 371 00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,834 Uh, excuse me? 372 00:15:58,917 --> 00:15:59,960 I'm sorry. 373 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:01,253 Excuse me? 374 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,338 Excuse me? 375 00:16:04,507 --> 00:16:06,258 - Can we switch tables? - What's the problem? 376 00:16:12,598 --> 00:16:15,225 I am so sorry about the air conditioner. 377 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,686 Let's get you somewhere else before you freeze, huh? 378 00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,021 -Uh, sure. Thanks. -Okay. 379 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:21,398 Cool. Yeah, she's just not having a good time, so... 380 00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:22,941 No problem. No, it happens all the time. 381 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,568 -And I guess-- -No, you don't have to bring-- 382 00:16:24,652 --> 00:16:25,819 -You sure? -You can bring it if you want. 383 00:16:25,903 --> 00:16:27,029 Someone else will get that. That's okay. 384 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,740 -Okay. I'll put that there. -All right. 385 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,867 -And, uh, the drinks, too, or should-- -Nope. 386 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,744 -Oh. Okay, cool. -Yeah. 387 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,170 Ow! Fuck! 388 00:16:51,554 --> 00:16:54,515 Hey, it's Dianne. Leave a message. 389 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:57,225 Hey, Dianne. It's Mickey from AA. 390 00:16:57,309 --> 00:17:00,395 I'm picking up the phone instead of picking up a drink. 391 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:04,149 Currently arranging my books by color, so looking for something to do. 392 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:06,944 If you could give me a call, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks. 393 00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:12,991 So that'll be two steaks. One medium-well, one rare. 394 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,785 And I'll get those appetizers out to you right away. 395 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,328 -Thank you. -Aw, great. Thank you. 396 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,997 And thank you so much for letting us switch tables. Appreciate it. 397 00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:20,457 Of course. 398 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,961 I hope I wasn't too much of a dick to that guy. 399 00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,880 Did I seem like a dick, with the switching tables and everything? 400 00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:30,508 I'm just having a hard time getting a read on him, right? 401 00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:31,677 Yeah? Don't you think? 402 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,637 He seems fine. 403 00:17:33,721 --> 00:17:35,889 I just don't want him to be, like, pissed off at me and then, like, 404 00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:37,766 get revenge on me with the food, or whatever. 405 00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:40,018 How? By poisoning you? 406 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,938 No, just, like, by... I don't know, messing with my food. 407 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:45,858 You know, like, not washing his hands and touching it. 408 00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:49,612 Or, like, rubbing a booger on my steak, or putting a booger in my drink. 409 00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:50,904 Oh, I can't hear that. I'll be sick. 410 00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:52,447 I'm sorry. That's not me. 411 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,742 I'm not like the gross guy. 412 00:17:55,743 --> 00:17:58,871 I was just trying to make you laugh or... 413 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:01,414 Is this weird? Should we have moved? 414 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,458 I feel like we fucked up, and we shouldn't have moved. 415 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,378 'Cause now we're next to the, like, this hostess stand here 416 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:10,716 and that waiter station where people keep coming by and being noisy. 417 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:14,136 Smells like bleach, right? Do you smell bleach? 418 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,013 Maybe we should ask if we can get our old table back. 419 00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,890 Okay, yeah, let's do that. 420 00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:19,600 I'm kidding. 421 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:20,809 Oh. 422 00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,185 Okay. Funny. 423 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,398 'Cause, yeah, that would be crazy if we switched twice. Yeah. 424 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,646 Oh, God. 425 00:19:05,729 --> 00:19:07,690 All right, time for those steaks. 426 00:19:07,773 --> 00:19:09,566 -Thank you. -Ooh. Thank you. 427 00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:10,693 -Bon appétit! -Thanks. 428 00:19:10,776 --> 00:19:11,819 Thanks. 429 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:15,823 -Looks good, huh? -Mmm. 430 00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:19,617 -It's a little bloody, isn't it? -Nope. 431 00:19:22,955 --> 00:19:25,623 -Eating, like, tiny mouse bites. -No, it's good. 432 00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:28,001 If a mouse ate that, he'd say, "Can I have more?" 433 00:19:28,085 --> 00:19:29,712 This is just how I eat. 434 00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:31,463 'Cause if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. 435 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:34,299 That is, like, really bloody. 436 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:37,135 The less you talk about the blood, it's... That's better for me. 437 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,721 I'm just gonna have them take it back. 438 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,513 -No, no, no. No! -It's really-- It's okay. 439 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:43,767 -Hey! Come on. -Hey, whoa! Jesus. Okay. 440 00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:46,186 Don't eat it fast just so I don't return it. 441 00:19:49,147 --> 00:19:51,274 I'm sorry, please excuse me. I have to use the restroom. 442 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,485 Okay. Hey. Wait, wait, wait. Are you choking? 443 00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,154 -I'm not choking. -Okay. 444 00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,073 Well... you... 445 00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,033 I really don't need you to take me to the bathroom. 446 00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:01,534 -Okay. -'Kay. 447 00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,751 Oh, excuse me. Sorry. 448 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:28,812 Fuck. 449 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,275 And how is everything here? Are you finished? 450 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,819 Uh... no. 451 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,907 I'm not... I mean, her steak is a little bloody. 452 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:42,910 So maybe we can take it back, make it well done. 453 00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:46,663 You want me to take it off the bill? 454 00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:49,499 - No. You don't have to do that. - No? Oh. 455 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,502 -Problem with yours, though? -No. 456 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,172 No, I'm just a slow eater. 457 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:56,506 Mmm-hmm. 458 00:20:57,758 --> 00:21:00,593 Hey, um... I think... 459 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,765 I think she sent me a text that she meant to send to her friend. 460 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:07,225 Is it bad? 461 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,853 Yeah, it's pretty bad. 462 00:21:09,937 --> 00:21:14,024 I'll tell you what, bro. I'm gonna take care of this steak for you. 463 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:16,193 You know what? 464 00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:18,028 -Leave her steak. -Okay. 465 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,572 It's... it's perfect. It's... 466 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,825 it's the perfect level of bloodiness. 467 00:21:24,952 --> 00:21:26,411 Okay. 468 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:33,794 -Hey. -Hey. 469 00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:35,628 Did I miss anything? 470 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,589 Nope. Don't think so. 471 00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,428 -It's good. -Mmm-hmm. 472 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:45,680 -Can I have a sip? -Of my wine? 473 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,558 Yeah. Can I have a little sip? 474 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,685 Uh, sure. 475 00:21:55,983 --> 00:21:58,735 Mmm... Mmm. 476 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:04,782 - That's good. - Yeah, it is. 477 00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:06,994 -Can I have another sip? -Yep, go... Yeah. 478 00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,248 Ugh... 479 00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,000 You ever get that thing where you don't wipe very well 480 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,251 and your asshole's all itchy? 481 00:22:16,253 --> 00:22:19,089 I don't know that I have had that. 482 00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:22,009 I know that's not the most appropriate table talk, it's just... 483 00:22:22,092 --> 00:22:23,927 -Yeah, it's a little gross. -It's what's on my mind, 484 00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:26,638 so I'm just kind of, like, dealin' with it right now. 485 00:22:26,721 --> 00:22:28,891 If I, like, kind of move it across the seat, 486 00:22:28,974 --> 00:22:30,267 I get the scratch. 487 00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:33,686 I'm just trying to get that butthole scratch, you know? 488 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,190 Fuck. I forgot to text my buddy. 489 00:22:37,274 --> 00:22:38,691 It's his birthday today. Do you mind? 490 00:22:38,775 --> 00:22:40,818 Oh, no, that's fine. 491 00:22:40,903 --> 00:22:42,988 Text this motherfucker. That fuck. 492 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:49,077 That son of a bitch. 493 00:22:49,161 --> 00:22:50,745 He's a maniac. He's a madman. 494 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,250 We used to hang out a lot in college. 495 00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:57,210 Happy birthday. 496 00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:02,882 You son of a bitch. 497 00:23:14,186 --> 00:23:16,396 Oh, my God. Poor Bertie. 498 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:49,512 Yeah, I mean, if Boston didn't just have, like, the coldest winter ever last year, 499 00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:51,306 then maybe I'd agree with you 500 00:23:51,389 --> 00:23:54,517 that there's such a thing as, uh, "global warming." 501 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:55,685 There is scientific research 502 00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,980 that says that climate change is definitely happening. 503 00:23:58,063 --> 00:23:59,189 Climate change? 504 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:01,233 Climate change is like Valentine's Day. 505 00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:04,319 It's just some fake thing a corporation made up, you know, 506 00:24:04,402 --> 00:24:05,820 in order to make money. 507 00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:09,532 It's like Santa Claus. You know who invented Santa Claus, right? 508 00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:10,908 Coca-Cola Company. 509 00:24:10,993 --> 00:24:12,702 - And are we all finished here? 510 00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:14,871 Uh, you know what? No, I'm still picking on it. 511 00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:17,915 It's just so good. I, like, wanna savor every ounce of it. 512 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,667 It's, like, the best steak I've ever had. 513 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,253 Okay. 514 00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:22,629 Miss? 515 00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:24,672 Oh, I'm done. 516 00:24:24,756 --> 00:24:27,092 Thank you. That was fantastic. 517 00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:29,886 All I'm saying is, 518 00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:33,390 if global warming's real, then I'll sign a petition to end it. 519 00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:36,643 But until then, I'm just gonna assume it's another myth the government's telling us. 520 00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:39,937 -Like 9/11. -Hmm? What? 521 00:24:40,022 --> 00:24:44,526 Yeah. No. Totally. Yeah, like 9/11. 522 00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:46,611 -You're... you're a truther, too? -Oh, yeah. 523 00:24:46,694 --> 00:24:50,573 I mean, any intelligent person can see the government was in on it. 524 00:24:50,657 --> 00:24:52,075 Why? Oil. 525 00:24:52,159 --> 00:24:53,868 -It was all about oil. -Mmm. 526 00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:55,953 The government helped the terrorists. 527 00:24:56,038 --> 00:24:58,665 If you can even consider what they did terrorism. 528 00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:00,833 -Yeah. -I mean, what is terrorism? 529 00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:03,420 It's just some people who believe in something, 530 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:04,712 and they're willing to fight for it. 531 00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:07,840 I mean, terrorism is just, like, when you can't afford a battleship. 532 00:25:07,924 --> 00:25:09,634 Yeah! And you know how everyone's always like, 533 00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:12,512 "Oh, I don't support the war, but I support the troops?" 534 00:25:12,595 --> 00:25:15,140 Fuck that. I don't support the troops. 535 00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:17,517 -Wow. Okay. -Do you not agree? 536 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:21,604 - No, I agree. Totally. Totally. - Yeah. 537 00:25:23,606 --> 00:25:24,857 I hate soldiers. 538 00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:27,902 But you know what I do like about soldiers? The guns. 539 00:25:32,824 --> 00:25:33,991 --Oh. 540 00:25:48,423 --> 00:25:52,927 When I'm on Tinder, I'm like, "Black, nope. Hispanic, nope. 541 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:55,472 -Asian, nope." -Ow! 542 00:25:55,555 --> 00:25:58,225 - What's wrong? - I think my dick fell asleep. 543 00:25:58,308 --> 00:26:01,811 I don't know if I, like, sat on it weird, or, like, pinched an artery, 544 00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:04,564 but, like... my big dick fell asleep. 545 00:26:04,647 --> 00:26:06,524 Oh, no. It fell asleep? Ouch. 546 00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:07,775 Yeah. Hey, you know what? 547 00:26:07,859 --> 00:26:11,696 I was thinking, maybe after we get out of here... 548 00:26:11,779 --> 00:26:13,281 ...we go hit up a strip club. 549 00:26:13,365 --> 00:26:14,741 Great. That sounds like so much fun. 550 00:26:14,824 --> 00:26:17,285 Maybe we can wake up that numb dick of yours. 551 00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:18,703 Perfect. Hey, let's get out of here. 552 00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:20,413 -Let's do it. -Okay. 553 00:26:22,499 --> 00:26:23,625 Hmm. 554 00:26:25,668 --> 00:26:26,919 Oh, you're choking? 555 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:29,256 Oh, no! I guess we can't go to the strip club. 556 00:26:29,339 --> 00:26:31,258 That is too bad. 557 00:26:33,385 --> 00:26:34,969 All right, let's wrap this up. 558 00:26:35,052 --> 00:26:37,972 Mickey was texting both of us. We all know. 559 00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:40,892 Look, I know you got my text, okay? 560 00:26:40,975 --> 00:26:43,019 What do you want me to say? It was embarrassing, 561 00:26:43,102 --> 00:26:44,687 for you and for me. 562 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:48,150 I'm really sorry. It was terrible, but I didn't know what to say. 563 00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:50,777 It was all just a little bit much, 564 00:26:50,860 --> 00:26:53,405 with the moving from the tables, here and there. 565 00:26:54,739 --> 00:26:56,533 Stop it. I said I'm sorry, okay? 566 00:26:59,118 --> 00:27:01,163 Oh, my God, are you really choking? Is this real? 567 00:27:01,246 --> 00:27:03,165 Oh, my God. He's choking! Fuck! 568 00:27:03,248 --> 00:27:05,041 I got you! I got you, buddy. Here we go. 569 00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:06,168 - There it is. 570 00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:07,627 Okay, there we go, buddy. Come on! Come on! 571 00:27:07,710 --> 00:27:08,753 It's not working. 572 00:27:08,836 --> 00:27:10,255 It's not working? Why is it not working? 573 00:27:10,338 --> 00:27:13,132 - There it is. 574 00:27:22,392 --> 00:27:24,143 I'm okay. 575 00:27:25,187 --> 00:27:27,772 I'm sorry, my bad. I'll clean it up. 576 00:27:31,025 --> 00:27:32,026 It's okay. 577 00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:34,028 Seriously, sorry again. 578 00:27:34,111 --> 00:27:36,072 Well, it's okay. I started it. 579 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,742 -Did you text Mickey yet? -No. You? 580 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:45,248 Don't tell her what happened. She'll enjoy it too much. 581 00:27:45,332 --> 00:27:46,499 Okay. 582 00:27:52,630 --> 00:27:56,551 -Mickey? -Hey, Syd! How are ya? 583 00:27:56,634 --> 00:27:58,928 I just put my kid to bed. 584 00:27:59,011 --> 00:28:01,431 -Uh, you want a cigarette? -Please, God, yes. 585 00:28:02,807 --> 00:28:06,644 Oh, my God. If I have to read my kid The Giving Tree one more time, 586 00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:08,020 I'm gonna blow my brains out. 587 00:28:08,104 --> 00:28:09,981 God, I can't even imagine. 588 00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:12,942 I don't even know why he likes it. It's not fun. It's depressing. 589 00:28:13,025 --> 00:28:17,280 It's like the tree is some kind of codependent, 590 00:28:17,364 --> 00:28:19,073 who loves being a martyr. 591 00:28:19,156 --> 00:28:21,075 It's like, "Tree, we know you went to Catholic school. 592 00:28:21,158 --> 00:28:23,411 - Just get in therapy." 593 00:28:24,746 --> 00:28:26,873 I was about to pour myself a glass of wine. You want one? 594 00:28:26,956 --> 00:28:29,125 Yeah. No. 595 00:28:29,834 --> 00:28:31,753 No. Uh... 596 00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:35,757 Today is my first day sober, again. 597 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,759 Really? Wow. 598 00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:40,512 Yeah. 599 00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:43,390 I was sober for about 18 months there, 600 00:28:43,473 --> 00:28:45,767 but I was kind of lying towards the end. 601 00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,519 Mostly lying to AA people. 602 00:28:48,311 --> 00:28:49,646 I was in AA for a while. 603 00:28:49,729 --> 00:28:52,690 -You were? -Yeah, for three years. 604 00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:54,651 It wasn't really for me, though. 605 00:28:54,734 --> 00:28:58,571 I mean, it got me through a rough patch, but I'm better now, so... 606 00:29:01,491 --> 00:29:02,909 Yeah, well... 607 00:29:05,161 --> 00:29:07,414 Today was a rough day. 608 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:11,543 You know how they say, "When you feel like picking up a drink, 609 00:29:11,626 --> 00:29:14,170 pick up a phone instead"? Well... 610 00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:15,755 that didn't really work for me, either. 611 00:29:15,838 --> 00:29:17,549 Yeah, I remember folks saying that. 612 00:29:17,632 --> 00:29:20,968 I don't know, I was always like, "If I feel like picking up a drink, 613 00:29:21,052 --> 00:29:22,929 I'm gonna pick up a drink." 614 00:29:23,012 --> 00:29:25,265 - Or a guy. - Yeah. 615 00:29:25,348 --> 00:29:27,684 I did a lot of that before I met Jeff. 616 00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:30,520 God, he would kill me if he caught me smoking this. 617 00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:32,021 He made me promise him I'd quit. 618 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:33,940 That is so sweet. 619 00:29:35,024 --> 00:29:37,193 -Or annoying. -No, that's nice. 620 00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:39,946 That's like, he wants you around. 621 00:29:40,029 --> 00:29:43,283 I've never had a guy care enough about me to want me to quit smoking. 622 00:29:44,784 --> 00:29:48,413 I had a guy try and get me to do heroin once. 623 00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:50,332 - Does that count? 624 00:29:50,415 --> 00:29:53,000 I once dated a guy who used to make me clean out his litter box 625 00:29:53,084 --> 00:29:54,294 before we could have sex. 626 00:29:55,378 --> 00:29:57,213 Wait. He shit in a litter box? 627 00:29:57,297 --> 00:29:59,090 -No, the cat. He had a cat. -Oh. 628 00:29:59,173 --> 00:30:02,760 I didn't meet Jeff until I decided I deserved someone who was nice to me. 629 00:30:07,056 --> 00:30:08,808 Thanks for the ciggy. 630 00:30:08,891 --> 00:30:10,518 I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive. 631 00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:13,730 I was basically like, "AA doesn't work." 632 00:30:13,813 --> 00:30:15,940 -But that was just for me, so... -Yeah. 633 00:30:16,023 --> 00:30:18,360 -Hang in there. -You, too. 634 00:30:21,112 --> 00:30:23,865 If my kid's still awake when I go up there, I'm coming back down. 635 00:30:24,616 --> 00:30:28,453 -Mmm, so good. -Mmm, the best. It's so good. 636 00:30:28,536 --> 00:30:30,330 And it feels so good on my throat, too. 637 00:30:30,413 --> 00:30:32,540 Oh, my God. That was so crazy, when you were choking. 638 00:30:32,624 --> 00:30:35,251 I was, like, "Wow, he's really choking." 639 00:30:35,335 --> 00:30:36,878 So ridiculous. 640 00:30:36,961 --> 00:30:38,505 That happens to me, like, all the time. 641 00:30:38,588 --> 00:30:40,548 Really? You'd be terrible at blowjobs. 642 00:30:41,341 --> 00:30:44,511 -You think? -Yeah. A very big health hazard for you. 643 00:30:44,594 --> 00:30:46,513 Well, I'll make sure never to suck a dick. 644 00:30:46,596 --> 00:30:48,848 It's a good idea. 645 00:30:48,931 --> 00:30:50,933 Hey, don't tell Mickey that I puked, by the way. 646 00:30:51,017 --> 00:30:52,769 You can tell her. 647 00:30:52,852 --> 00:30:56,230 So why do you think she, like, pawned us off on each other, huh? 648 00:30:57,189 --> 00:30:58,650 You think she thinks, like, we're real freaks? 649 00:30:58,733 --> 00:31:01,403 I think she just thinks we're both nice people. 650 00:31:01,486 --> 00:31:03,320 Well, maybe I'm not nice, you know? 651 00:31:04,113 --> 00:31:07,784 Like, sometimes, like, if a waiter's, like, really bad, 652 00:31:07,867 --> 00:31:11,162 I'll just, like, tip them, like, 30%... 653 00:31:12,414 --> 00:31:14,916 ...so they go, like, "I didn't deserve this." 654 00:31:14,999 --> 00:31:16,208 You're a scumbag. 655 00:31:16,292 --> 00:31:18,252 -Piece of shit. That's what I am. -Yeah. 656 00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:21,923 -You're a... you're a terrible guy. -Mmm-hmm. 657 00:31:22,006 --> 00:31:23,758 Well, I just think we're two nice people 658 00:31:23,841 --> 00:31:27,011 who gave it our best shot and that's the best we can do. 659 00:31:27,094 --> 00:31:28,888 Anyway, I'm into chubby guys. 660 00:31:31,683 --> 00:31:33,601 I just gotta use the bathroom, and I'll get out of your hair. 661 00:31:33,685 --> 00:31:36,646 -Oh, sure. It's just down the hall. -Okay. Thank you. Sorry. 662 00:31:39,441 --> 00:31:40,608 Oh. 663 00:31:43,152 --> 00:31:44,487 -Hey. -Hey. 664 00:31:44,571 --> 00:31:48,658 Hi. I rearranged the furniture, obviously, but I can put it back. 665 00:31:48,741 --> 00:31:49,951 No. It's cool. I like it. 666 00:31:50,034 --> 00:31:52,579 So how was the date? 667 00:31:52,662 --> 00:31:54,831 You guys stopped texting me. I felt so left out. 668 00:31:54,914 --> 00:31:57,875 I'm... I'm sorry, though, if I butted in. 669 00:31:57,959 --> 00:32:00,086 -Did I take it too far? -No, no. 670 00:32:00,169 --> 00:32:03,423 It's all good. We're cool. Me and Gus just want to be friends. 671 00:32:04,381 --> 00:32:06,050 Cool. 672 00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:07,384 Uh, is he here? 673 00:32:07,469 --> 00:32:10,012 Yeah, he's just in the bathroom, then he's gonna go. 674 00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:11,723 Cool. 675 00:32:12,264 --> 00:32:14,100 So, what was the restaurant like? 676 00:32:14,183 --> 00:32:17,228 Were the Yelp reviews right? Did the calamari taste frozen? 677 00:32:17,311 --> 00:32:19,689 Oh, I had steak, so I couldn't say. 678 00:32:19,772 --> 00:32:21,023 Hey. 679 00:32:23,693 --> 00:32:25,945 -Room's different. -Mickey rearranged. 680 00:32:26,028 --> 00:32:27,822 Ah. 681 00:32:27,905 --> 00:32:30,783 Oh, my God. I have that, like, same rug. 682 00:32:30,867 --> 00:32:32,869 Except mine's in blue, not orange. 683 00:32:32,952 --> 00:32:34,161 I wanted orange, but... 684 00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:35,455 It's Mickey's rug. 685 00:32:35,538 --> 00:32:36,873 Ah. 686 00:32:38,625 --> 00:32:40,502 Got the same rug. Cool. 687 00:32:40,585 --> 00:32:43,337 Okay, well, thank you for the good time tonight. 688 00:32:43,420 --> 00:32:45,465 -Yes. It was fun. -That was really fun. 689 00:32:45,548 --> 00:32:47,884 -Yeah, take care. -All right. You, too. 690 00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:50,052 Hey, dude, those text messages were so funny. 691 00:32:50,136 --> 00:32:52,388 -Oh, you like that? -I was laughing all night. 692 00:32:52,472 --> 00:32:54,724 Oh. Good, good, good. You know... 693 00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:56,100 I tried. 694 00:32:59,479 --> 00:33:01,438 -Are you pissed at me? -Okay... 695 00:33:02,732 --> 00:33:04,108 Mickey, you know I like you. 696 00:33:04,776 --> 00:33:06,110 I don't have a lot of dignity... 697 00:33:06,944 --> 00:33:09,363 but I have enough dignity to say, like, 698 00:33:09,446 --> 00:33:12,158 hey, I don't like being pawned off on another girl. 699 00:33:12,241 --> 00:33:16,538 I'm not just, like, some nice guy 700 00:33:16,621 --> 00:33:19,248 who's always gonna be around for you to, like, fuck with. 701 00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:21,668 What do you want me to say? 702 00:33:21,751 --> 00:33:23,210 I don't know. 703 00:33:24,295 --> 00:33:27,131 I'm not dumb. I know what this is. 704 00:33:27,214 --> 00:33:28,716 I get it. 705 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,927 You're not interested. It's cool. 706 00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:32,469 We can just say it's cool. 707 00:33:33,805 --> 00:33:35,682 Pleasure to meet ya. 708 00:33:35,765 --> 00:33:36,766 Okay. 709 00:33:59,038 --> 00:34:01,791 - Stop! 710 00:34:01,874 --> 00:34:04,794 Hey! Hello, that was, like, super dangerous! 711 00:34:13,928 --> 00:34:15,387 Fun first date, huh? 712 00:34:20,810 --> 00:34:22,770 What the fuck was that?