1 00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,594 There she comes. 2 00:00:10,595 --> 00:00:12,221 There it is, moving on down. 3 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,475 Ooh, it's good. I needed the car wash, man. Yikes! 4 00:00:18,061 --> 00:00:20,104 That was a dirty, dirty car. 5 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,899 My backseat looked like a water bottle graveyard. 6 00:00:23,817 --> 00:00:26,778 What do we got here? What about these air fresheners? 7 00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,362 You got one, like, to recommend? 8 00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:32,491 Any smells that are, like, I don't know, sexy or... 9 00:00:32,576 --> 00:00:35,453 Is that weird to ask? Is there, like, a sexy smell? 10 00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,624 I think maybe piña colada? 11 00:00:39,708 --> 00:00:43,252 Okay. Yeah, look at that. 12 00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:45,379 Yeah, it smells like suntan lotion. 13 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:50,009 Yeah, I could see how that would work. Sort of, people get associations of... 14 00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:54,472 suntan lotion, beaches, bikinis, skin... yeah. 15 00:00:54,556 --> 00:00:56,349 Yeah, no, we're just... 16 00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,977 I'm picking up a girl in the car and, you know, 17 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,395 I want my car to smell good. I don't want it to smell bad. 18 00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:03,565 -Yeah. -That's a bad first start. 19 00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:05,441 What else we got here, uh... 20 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:08,737 - Guys, Gus is coming over... - soon. 21 00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:09,946 Yay. 22 00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:13,407 - Who's Gus? - He's this guy I think I might be into... 23 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:16,077 -Do you have butterflies? -Oh, yeah, I have butterflies, 24 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,413 and I have a heart murmur, and I got the Hershey squirts. 25 00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:22,917 -But I thought you liked him. -I do. 26 00:01:23,001 --> 00:01:25,336 I do. He's different. 27 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,881 He's-- I think he might be a little bit boring. 28 00:01:27,964 --> 00:01:28,965 Yeah, I mean, we've... 29 00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:31,635 She and I have, like, talked before, you know. 30 00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:34,512 We've interacted and, like, texted and stuff, but, like, 31 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,556 I feel like that's, like, a little more workshopped? 32 00:01:37,641 --> 00:01:39,308 -Mmm. -You know, but this is like, 33 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,019 -this is real life, you know. -Yeah. 34 00:01:41,102 --> 00:01:43,229 - You can't workshop that, you know. - Yeah. 35 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,731 Yeah. Yeah. 36 00:01:49,903 --> 00:01:51,529 People seem to like pine. 37 00:01:51,613 --> 00:01:53,948 Pine! Okay, yeah. 38 00:01:54,032 --> 00:01:57,451 I like Gus. I feel like he's different. He's cool without trying. 39 00:01:57,535 --> 00:01:58,912 Or even knowing. 40 00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:00,496 He's definitely afraid to fuck me. 41 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,248 Oh, God, no. That's no good. 42 00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,125 I went through a phase where I was really loving 43 00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,419 having sex with very unattractive men. 44 00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:09,047 Oh, yeah, that was my move. All women go through that phase. 45 00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:11,174 -Really? -Yeah. 46 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,467 You know, uh, Sam Kinison? 47 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:15,219 That comedian that screamed a lot? 48 00:02:15,303 --> 00:02:17,430 -He didn't scream with me. -No! 49 00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,974 In fairness, though, he had laryngitis, I think. 50 00:02:20,058 --> 00:02:23,687 I once had sex with a guy whose dick was so small, I thought it was a clitoris. 51 00:02:23,770 --> 00:02:24,813 Hmm... Gus! 52 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:27,481 -Hey. Hi. -Oh, my God, Gus. Well, hello. 53 00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:30,694 - We were just talking about Christmas! - Oh, cool. 54 00:02:30,777 --> 00:02:33,822 - This is Syd, our neighbor/friend. - Hi, Syd. 55 00:02:33,905 --> 00:02:35,573 -Hello. -Hi. 56 00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:37,533 You guys just all hanging out? 57 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:38,617 - Mmm-hmm. - Yeah. 58 00:02:38,702 --> 00:02:42,706 I like it. It's like when, uh, my sister would have, like, a sleepover. 59 00:02:42,789 --> 00:02:44,540 A cool vibe to, like, walk into. 60 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,501 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 61 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:50,463 Do you wanna... hang out inside? 62 00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:53,341 -Uh, yeah, sure. Cool. All right. -This way. 63 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,218 - Nice to meet you. Good to see you. - Good to meet you. 64 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:57,220 Have fun, you guys. 65 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:01,390 So, what do you got going on the rest of the day? 66 00:03:01,474 --> 00:03:04,018 Oh, I'm going to book club. We're reading Dianetics. 67 00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:05,686 We just want to see what it is. 68 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,272 Okay. 69 00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:33,464 - You want something to drink? - Yeah. 70 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:37,761 - Thanks. - Got water, juice, milk... 71 00:03:37,844 --> 00:03:40,554 Um, I'm good for some milk. 72 00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:42,056 -Okay. -Sure. 73 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,434 Thank you. 74 00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:49,939 My grandma used to pour a big glass of milk and make me drink the whole thing 75 00:03:50,023 --> 00:03:53,067 - 'cause she was from the Depression. - Oh. 76 00:03:53,151 --> 00:03:56,780 Ooh. I think this milk's gone bad. 77 00:03:56,863 --> 00:04:00,366 Oh, shit! That was in there to remind me to get new milk. I'm sorry. 78 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:01,492 You know what you should do? 79 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,078 You should just throw out the milk, so, like, the absence of milk 80 00:04:04,162 --> 00:04:06,580 is the thing that reminds you to get milk, you know? 81 00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:08,291 Well, that's just our system. 82 00:04:08,374 --> 00:04:10,418 I mean, this is the first time it's backfired. 83 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:13,922 Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Or you could just... empty out the milk 84 00:04:14,005 --> 00:04:17,175 and then just have an empty container in there and, you know, go... 85 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,052 "Oh, right, empty container, gotta get milk." 86 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:21,095 --Do you want some water? 87 00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:22,680 Yeah! That'd be great. 88 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:30,021 - Thank you. - I have a question. 89 00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,690 -Mmm-hmm. -Are you afraid of bugs? 90 00:04:32,774 --> 00:04:35,068 There are bugs under those cups and I can't kill 'em. 91 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,821 'Cause it's, like, inhumane or... 92 00:04:37,904 --> 00:04:40,489 Ew, no. No, because they're gross and I hate them! 93 00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:41,991 Inhumane? 94 00:04:42,075 --> 00:04:43,576 All right. 95 00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,744 All right, well, uh... 96 00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:48,164 Let's see what we're dealing with, huh? Okay. 97 00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:49,623 No! Wait, wait, wait! 98 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,585 I don't know which of those are secretly alive and which of them can fly, 99 00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,046 and what if they fly into my face and they sting me? 100 00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:57,715 What kind of bugs do you think you're dealing with here? 101 00:04:57,799 --> 00:05:02,720 Every bug can fly, is poisonous, and has Ebola until it's proven innocent. 102 00:05:02,804 --> 00:05:05,264 Okay. Hey, it's okay. You can just, um... 103 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:06,891 Can you get some tissues? 104 00:05:06,975 --> 00:05:08,434 -Yeah. -All right. 105 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,315 -Thank you. -I'll be back here. 106 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:15,649 Okay. Yeah. 107 00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,318 - I think that's a good distance. 108 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,153 -Um... -Be careful! 109 00:05:19,237 --> 00:05:22,281 - I will. All right. Ready? - Yeah. 110 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,449 Okay. 111 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:24,909 Did you get it? 112 00:05:24,993 --> 00:05:26,119 - Yeah, I got it. 113 00:05:26,202 --> 00:05:29,622 Aw. You hear that crushing sound? It's satisfying. 114 00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:30,915 You should come closer so you can... 115 00:05:30,999 --> 00:05:34,836 -Mmm-mmm. That's good. It's okay. -...hear this nice bone-crunching sound. 116 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,256 -Did you get it? Did you get it? -Yep. Yep. 117 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:39,840 -Okay. -He's dead. 118 00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:42,260 -Whew. -He's dead. This feels really good. 119 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:43,970 My heart is racing. 120 00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:46,680 My heart is racing 'cause I'm excited. 121 00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,433 Uh... 122 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,352 -Okay. -Oh, shit! I saw that one. 123 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:52,853 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw it too. 124 00:05:52,937 --> 00:05:54,898 --And it's gross. Okay. 125 00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:58,526 All right. So I'm gonna bring these guys all together. 126 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,653 That's it? You got 'em all? 127 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:02,571 All right. 128 00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:05,574 Okay. I'm gonna, like, flush these. 129 00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:07,743 - Okay. 130 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,999 --Took care of 'em. 131 00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:14,542 That was kinda hot. 132 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:18,712 -Yeah? You think so? -Yeah. You handled those fuckers. 133 00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:41,860 -Wow. -Wow. 134 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:02,798 You had your eyes open. 135 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,467 -I know. -I did, too. 136 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,427 -So what? -Yeah, well, that's okay. 137 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:09,638 -Okay. -I just want you to not be in pain. 138 00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:11,682 - I'm not in pain. - Okay, okay. 139 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:42,421 I should've never set you up with Bertie. 140 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,757 - Oh, it's totally cool. - Okay. 141 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:56,019 - Yeah, let's do it. - Yeah? You want to? 142 00:07:56,102 --> 00:07:59,230 -Yes. It's okay. -Okay, okay. 143 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,776 - Let me just... Okay. - Okay. 144 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,903 --Okay. 145 00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:07,696 --Okay. 146 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:24,130 There's a high school around the block. Marching band practice. 147 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,298 Mmm. 148 00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,426 I like it. 149 00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:31,179 Me, too. 150 00:08:31,262 --> 00:08:32,846 So, hey, you wanna... 151 00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:35,599 get something to eat? You hungry? 152 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:39,645 -I'm starving. -Yeah... Let's go out. 153 00:08:39,728 --> 00:08:42,981 Don't you just want to stay in and order a pizza? 154 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:50,281 No, I... think I might have some plans for us. 155 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,158 Oh, that's right. 156 00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,368 -You had a whole date planned. -Yeah. 157 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:57,080 Can I guess? 158 00:08:57,163 --> 00:08:58,664 -Uh, where we're going? -Yeah. 159 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,959 -Okay. -Hollywood Bowl. 160 00:09:03,086 --> 00:09:04,378 No. 161 00:09:04,462 --> 00:09:06,547 That would've been good, but no. 162 00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:11,969 Actually, the place I'm taking you to has a dress code. 163 00:09:12,053 --> 00:09:15,473 --So, I gotta get my suit out of the car. 164 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,932 -Oh. -So... 165 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:20,269 I think I know where it is. Can I guess? Okay. Um... 166 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,399 Suit, eh? You're wearing a suit? 167 00:09:25,483 --> 00:09:28,152 Is it Disneyland's Club 33? 168 00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:29,612 What's that? 169 00:09:29,695 --> 00:09:32,740 A private club at Disneyland where Walt used to... 170 00:09:32,823 --> 00:09:34,575 ladies. 171 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:38,912 Oh. Yeah. It's, like, that restaurant at the park, right? 172 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:42,458 Yeah, I don't think Walt Disney, like... ladies. 173 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:47,171 - Really? - Oh, yeah, all the time. 174 00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:49,673 Wow! Okay. Well, that's cool. 175 00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:51,217 -Mmm-hmm. -All right. 176 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,718 You wanna get dressed? 177 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:55,263 I don't know what the dress code is. You pick out my outfit. 178 00:09:55,346 --> 00:09:58,391 -You want me to pick out your clothes? -Dealer's choice. 179 00:09:59,225 --> 00:10:00,976 -You look great. -Aw, thanks. 180 00:10:03,104 --> 00:10:06,982 - Kinda chilly. - Yeah, right? Chilly beans. 181 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:08,567 That's what my dad used to say all the time. 182 00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:12,405 - He'd go... - "Chilly beans." Uh. 183 00:10:12,488 --> 00:10:13,572 -Oh. -Let me get that. 184 00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,200 -All right. -Let me be chivalrous, huh? 185 00:10:16,284 --> 00:10:18,494 Let me have old, weird, gender stuff. 186 00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:20,454 --Okay? 187 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,298 I cried in front of Natalie, like, a million times, 188 00:10:30,381 --> 00:10:31,882 and she cried in front of me, like, zero times. 189 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,384 Damn it. 190 00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,262 I, uh... 191 00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:38,972 I record my therapy sessions. 192 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:48,065 - Do you smell piña colada? - Yeah. 193 00:10:48,149 --> 00:10:50,818 Yeah, I got an air freshener at the car wash. 194 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,445 This is taking me back. 195 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,198 I feel like I'm in my math teacher's car, Mr. Eldi. 196 00:10:55,281 --> 00:10:58,742 Yeah, totally. I mean, uh... Wait. 197 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:01,245 You would ride around in a car with your math teacher? 198 00:11:01,329 --> 00:11:04,290 Yeah, we would go shopping or whatever after school. 199 00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:08,169 Shopping? What... 200 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:11,255 What sort of stuff would you go shopping for with your math teacher? 201 00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:12,423 I don't know. 202 00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:16,051 -Uh, what? -Oh, my God, that is weird. 203 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,720 -Yeah. -No, he was great! 204 00:11:17,803 --> 00:11:19,513 He was, like, my favorite teacher. 205 00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:20,931 -He was a good guy. -Mmm-hmm. 206 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,433 We were... friends, right? 207 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:26,019 I guess. I mean, he didn't, like, try anything-- 208 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,522 -No! No, we were buddies. -No? Okay. Okay. 209 00:11:28,606 --> 00:11:31,317 Yeah, and your parents were okay with it, too? Like-- 210 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,027 No, they loved him. They thought he was great. 211 00:11:34,111 --> 00:11:35,238 Oh. 212 00:11:35,321 --> 00:11:39,325 God. Should I call my mom right now and ask her if I was molested? 213 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:40,701 No. 214 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,455 Unless you think you should or... 215 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,539 Nah. 216 00:11:58,636 --> 00:12:01,680 - Are you cold? - I'm always cold. 217 00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:04,975 What do your parents do for a living? 218 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,685 Um... 219 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,229 My dad's a non-practicing dentist and my mom is-- 220 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:12,358 Non-practicing? What do you mean? What's that? 221 00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,694 Ugh. You know, it's a long story. I'll tell you some other time. 222 00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:19,197 - Um, my mom's an interior designer. - Ah. 223 00:12:19,282 --> 00:12:23,201 Is she a, um, what's it called... uh, a tetrachromat? 224 00:12:23,286 --> 00:12:24,287 What? 225 00:12:24,370 --> 00:12:28,165 They're, like, people who can see, like, more colors than normal people. 226 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,876 Like, you know, more than just ROYGBIV. 227 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,628 Well, who's Roy G. Biv? 228 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:35,255 Oh, he's not a person. ROYGBIV is, like... 229 00:12:35,339 --> 00:12:37,132 I don't know, like, an acronym. 230 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:40,844 ROYGBIV. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo-- 231 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:42,137 Are you making this up? 232 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:43,806 No. 233 00:12:43,889 --> 00:12:45,349 Why, you've never heard of that before? 234 00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,892 I remember learning that as a kid in school. 235 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,311 Must be a South Dakota thing. 236 00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:52,731 In Jersey, all we got to learn was FBI stands for "Female Body Inspector." 237 00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,983 Yeah. I think I've seen that shirt before. 238 00:12:55,859 --> 00:13:00,656 But yeah, anyway, tetrachromats, you know, are, a lot of times, um, women. 239 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,950 -Mmm. -And artists. 240 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,160 That's why I thought with your mom, maybe she, uh... 241 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,705 Yeah, I don't think she has that ability. 242 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,207 Oh, oh. Okay. 243 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:14,294 So, what're you looking at? What sounds good? 244 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:19,299 I think I'm gonna get this avocado wrap but with the ponzu sauce. 245 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:20,968 Ah. 246 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,345 Can I take your order? 247 00:13:22,428 --> 00:13:25,848 Uh, yeah, can I get that but with the ponzu sauce? 248 00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:28,809 Only the garlic chicken comes with the ponzu. 249 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:30,811 Chef's orders. 250 00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:34,064 Okay, then I guess I'll get it without the sauce. 251 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,608 But just so you know, that's kinda unfair. 252 00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:40,654 Uh, yeah, I'll get the, uh, the vegetable tempura, please, 253 00:13:40,738 --> 00:13:42,365 and, um... 254 00:13:42,448 --> 00:13:46,619 can I also get the garlic chicken with the ponzu sauce? 255 00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,371 -Okay. -Thank you. 256 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,833 You know, I didn't even want the garlic chicken. 257 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:54,585 I just got it for the ponzu for you. 258 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:59,798 What? Gus, that's, like, the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me. 259 00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,467 Hey, a girl's gotta have her sauce, right? 260 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,437 Hey. 261 00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:21,236 Wow. That was a long time. 262 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:24,031 It was a long pee. Shut up. Don't pay attention to that. 263 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:25,533 Okay, sorry. 264 00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:28,452 Now you got me feeling all goofy that I even... 265 00:14:28,536 --> 00:14:31,455 said anything. 266 00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:34,124 Um, hey, uh... 267 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,835 So, I wanted to ask you. 268 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,879 Have you ever been to The Magic Castle? 269 00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:42,049 No, don't you need a special invitation or something? 270 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:46,136 Lucky for you... guess what I am. 271 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:50,724 A member. 272 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,937 -I'm not really that into magic. -That's okay. 273 00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:59,357 You know... just a whole castle devoted to it. 274 00:14:59,442 --> 00:15:01,402 Why don't we just go to a bar? 275 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,529 We can just go there for the bar, you know. 276 00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:07,074 Hey, trust me, if we go there, you don't like it, 277 00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,076 just let me know, we can take off. 278 00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:12,079 Okay. That's fair. 279 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:15,499 See, the thing with Ricky Jay is, he's, like, basically at the top 280 00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:17,835 of the cool pyramid, you know, of magicians. 281 00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:22,089 Tonight, you know, what you're gonna see is, like, the real shit. 282 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:26,343 When you say "real magic," you still mean it's all fake, though. 283 00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:30,431 Right. They don't do, like, real magic. 284 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,808 It's not like they're wizards or something. 285 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,854 Ideally, you want to do a trick better than everyone else, you know, 286 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,523 make it your own, put your own personal stamp on it. 287 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,152 - Thank you. - Watch your step. 288 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,489 -Ugh, Jesus. -And it's like, if you think about it, 289 00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:48,281 in a way, you know... 290 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:51,910 magic's almost like a form of performance art, you know. 291 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:55,748 Let me ask you a question and please answer honestly. 292 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:56,832 Okay. 293 00:15:56,915 --> 00:16:00,377 Is this your way of telling... Are you a magician? 294 00:16:01,336 --> 00:16:06,049 I know it may seem that way, but rest assured, I am merely a fan. 295 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,593 Okay, phew. 296 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:15,476 -Welcome home. -Aw, thank you. 297 00:16:15,559 --> 00:16:17,019 After you. 298 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,854 Thanks, Don, Carlos. 299 00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:24,902 No way. Uh-uh. Oh, no, how'd you do that? 300 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,114 What? 301 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,575 Where's it gone? 302 00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,119 Oh, Lord. 303 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,412 You're good! 304 00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:37,540 - Gus. - Uh-huh? 305 00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:39,625 You have to check out this woman. She's amazing. 306 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,712 - There it is! What? - Easy come, easy go! 307 00:16:43,796 --> 00:16:47,675 -She's, like, amazed by everything. -Uh-huh. She's into it, huh? 308 00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:51,637 I want to follow her around all night and see magic through her eyes. 309 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,473 How's that happening? No! 310 00:16:55,558 --> 00:16:56,975 Follow me. I want to show you something cool. 311 00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:59,144 -Okay. All right. -Come here, come here, come here. Yeah. 312 00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,355 You coming? 313 00:17:09,446 --> 00:17:11,990 -Ooh! -Ooh, cool! A player piano. 314 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:14,743 Oh, no, no, no. That's playing on its own. 315 00:17:14,827 --> 00:17:16,620 What do you mean? 316 00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:20,165 That's Irma. She's, like, the resident piano-playing ghost. 317 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,585 -Cool! -Uh-huh. 318 00:17:22,668 --> 00:17:25,337 Hey, let's go stalk that, uh, super excited lady. 319 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,923 No, you should ask her to play a song. 320 00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,759 -She does anything. It's cool, any song. -Anything? 321 00:17:30,843 --> 00:17:32,595 Give it a try. 322 00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:33,929 Request something, come on. 323 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,641 -Oh, I got one. I got it. Yeah. -You got it? Okay. 324 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:42,312 Hey, uh, ghost piano, play, uh, "Blister in the Sun." 325 00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:47,150 It doesn't know "Blister In The Sun"? 326 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,653 That's, like, the one Violent Femmes song everybody knows. 327 00:17:49,737 --> 00:17:53,281 Um... I don't think her name's Ghost Piano Lady. 328 00:17:53,365 --> 00:17:54,700 --So just try it again. 329 00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,577 Just, like, ask politely. 330 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,790 - Miss Irma, would you please play-- 331 00:18:01,874 --> 00:18:04,668 See? Yeah. 332 00:18:06,003 --> 00:18:09,882 ♪ When I'm out walkin' I strut my stuff and I'm so strung out ♪ 333 00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:14,469 ♪ I'm high as a kite I just might stop to check you out ♪ 334 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:19,391 ♪ Let me go on Like a blister in the sun ♪ 335 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,727 ♪ Let me go on ♪ 336 00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:25,230 ♪ Big hands, I know you're the one ♪ 337 00:18:26,649 --> 00:18:28,901 All right, the balloon trick. Can I borrow a phone? 338 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:33,697 Okay, so, balloon, ordinary balloon, and ordinary phone. 339 00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:38,827 --Check it out. 340 00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:41,038 - It's how I practice safe text. 341 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,749 All right, I'll do a card trick now, if you guys wanna see a card trick. 342 00:18:43,832 --> 00:18:45,208 Do you mind picking a card? 343 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,501 -Sure. -Take one. 344 00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:47,670 Okay. 345 00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:49,713 -Look at it. -Okay. 346 00:18:49,797 --> 00:18:52,090 Place it back in the deck anywhere. Good spot. 347 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,968 Okay. So, this trick doesn't use sleight of hand like most magicians here. 348 00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:56,970 This trick uses sleight of mouth. 349 00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:00,265 Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. 350 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:07,397 A-ha! One card folded in my esophagus, once, twice, three times. 351 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,191 Was that your card? 352 00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:12,360 Uh... 353 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:15,072 I don't know. Was I supposed to memorize it? 354 00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:16,865 Yeah. 355 00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:18,075 It was the nine of clubs! 356 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,327 That was her card, guys. The nine of clubs. 357 00:19:21,704 --> 00:19:23,997 Trust me, it was the nine of clubs. 358 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,168 He just said to look at it. 359 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:32,380 Oh, yeah, in magic, "look" means "memorize." 360 00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,758 It's rare that you would look and not memorize. 361 00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:37,594 Oh, well, he didn't explain the rules. 362 00:19:37,678 --> 00:19:43,433 No, I know, I know, but, I mean, you've... you've seen magic before, right? 363 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,768 I don't know. I saw that show on Fox 364 00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:46,812 where they explained how they did the tricks. 365 00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:48,981 Yeah, well, it's okay if you're not into it. 366 00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:52,317 No! No! I'm having a great time. This is awesome. 367 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,944 I swear to you, the next time... 368 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,946 I will fuckin' memorize that card. 369 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,365 Yeah, okay, whatever. I don't care. 370 00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,658 I mean, it's between... you and your magician. 371 00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,412 -All right. Here we go. -All right. 372 00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:05,538 Sorry about that. 373 00:20:14,965 --> 00:20:17,843 -Chilly beans in here. -Yeah, it's kinda cold, huh? 374 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,470 Can I borrow your jacket? 375 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:25,142 Uh, I don't mean to sound like super-crazy or annoying or anything, 376 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,771 but it's just, like, they're really strict here about the dress code, so... 377 00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:33,859 Well, maybe since we fucked earlier, you know... 378 00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:36,361 it wouldn't be that big of a deal. 379 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:38,321 Okay. Makes sense. 380 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:41,199 -Yeah -Okay. But just, um... Just, um... 381 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:46,413 Ladies and gentlemen, William the Wonder! 382 00:20:56,965 --> 00:20:58,091 Whoo! 383 00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:04,932 --Wow! 384 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:06,391 Isn't that amazing? 385 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:09,770 Yeah, but I just feel like there's a trick to it. 386 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:12,981 Well, yeah... That's what magic is, you know. 387 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:15,150 -Mmm. -Tricks. 388 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,037 Whoo! 389 00:21:35,838 --> 00:21:39,967 Yeah, this guy's a real clothes horse, huh? What? 390 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:44,471 Why are all the women just assistants? 391 00:21:44,554 --> 00:21:47,557 Like, why aren't there any female magicians at this place? 392 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,309 Everyone we've seen is a dude. 393 00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:55,607 So, the man reads the paper while the woman does all the work? 394 00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,609 How much longer is this gonna be? 395 00:21:57,692 --> 00:21:59,694 About 40, 45 minutes. 396 00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:09,579 That shit's all wires. It's always wires. 397 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:13,500 - Wires and magnets. 398 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:18,005 -I feel like half of it is like... -Right. 399 00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:19,882 -It's showmanship. -Yeah. 400 00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:22,550 I still don't know how he's doing this shit, 401 00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:25,012 but I know I'm not looking in the right places. 402 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:30,600 Oh! 403 00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:39,526 You're gonna need to put your coat back on. 404 00:22:39,609 --> 00:22:41,278 Gus, your buddy's talking to you. 405 00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,155 Oh, hey, what's up? 406 00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,115 I'm sorry, but if you don't put your jacket back on, 407 00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:47,075 - I'm gonna need to ask you to leave. 408 00:22:47,159 --> 00:22:50,495 I'm sorry, she's just really cold and-- 409 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,330 You know the rules? Come on. 410 00:22:52,414 --> 00:22:55,542 What happened to "Welcome home"? Fuck this shit. 411 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:59,379 Oh! Um, sorry, Don. The thing is, she's freezing. 412 00:22:59,462 --> 00:23:01,714 -Don't make me get Carlos. -Carlos? 413 00:23:01,798 --> 00:23:05,677 Dude, don't be a fucking asshole. I'm cold. Fuck this. 414 00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:08,096 What... 415 00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:13,351 Ma'am, we believe you've had enough entertainment for the evening. 416 00:23:13,435 --> 00:23:14,852 What? 417 00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:16,521 - That's enough lip. 418 00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:18,815 Come with me so I can escort you out of the Castle. 419 00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,317 Gus, are you hearing this shit? 420 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,778 -On your feet. -Um! Get your hands off of me. 421 00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:27,907 Sorry. I'm sorry. 422 00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,418 Gus, I'm sorry, but this place is being a total dick. 423 00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:41,254 - So embarrassing. - Whatever! Fuck these guys. 424 00:23:41,338 --> 00:23:44,007 Don't say that! Don and Carlos are just doing their jobs, okay? 425 00:23:44,091 --> 00:23:45,925 Yeah, I guess, if their job is being a jerk. 426 00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:47,802 Look, they're right. I should've known better. 427 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:50,763 -Gus, it's a fucking Magic Castle. -But it's my fault. 428 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:52,057 -Are you serious? -Yes. 429 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:55,018 Mickey, I'm sorry I'm not some rebel who's all about "breaking all the rules" 430 00:23:55,102 --> 00:23:56,644 all the time. Okay? 431 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:04,069 Can I just say, I thought magic was all about breaking rules. 432 00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:06,821 Like, defying the laws of nature, whatnot. 433 00:24:06,904 --> 00:24:09,407 And those people... 434 00:24:10,408 --> 00:24:12,619 Oh, my God, they had such sticks up their asses. 435 00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:14,496 I just don't take it that seriously. 436 00:24:15,413 --> 00:24:18,583 Okay, well, I don't take it that seriously either, you know. 437 00:24:19,459 --> 00:24:22,587 Like, the reason I like it is because it doesn't take itself seriously. 438 00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:24,881 For me, I can just like... 439 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:26,883 turn my brain off for a few hours 440 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:30,178 and, like, watch it like I was a kid, or... 441 00:24:30,262 --> 00:24:31,888 You know? 442 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:37,269 Like, I like seeing a guy pull a necktie out of a magazine, okay? 443 00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:41,064 That sounded lame as I was saying it, 444 00:24:41,148 --> 00:24:42,690 but, like, in the moment, I thought it was cool. 445 00:24:42,774 --> 00:24:44,526 It's also not fair to take someone someplace 446 00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:47,654 and then demand that they have a specific reaction to it. 447 00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:50,657 Okay. I get that. 448 00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:54,244 I guess I was just, like, excited and I wanted you to enjoy it, too. And-- 449 00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:55,370 -No, I liked things about it. -Okay. 450 00:24:55,453 --> 00:24:56,871 I just didn't like the things about it that you like 451 00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:57,997 and that made you mad. 452 00:24:58,081 --> 00:25:00,125 Like, I thought that lady in the lobby was amazing 453 00:25:00,208 --> 00:25:02,544 and I would've happily watched her all night. 454 00:25:03,878 --> 00:25:04,879 Okay. 455 00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:07,965 We had fun singing that song with the piano, right? 456 00:25:08,050 --> 00:25:09,884 Yeah. Yeah, no, it was fun. 457 00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:12,137 It was just-- I think it was just like, you know, 458 00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:16,308 magicians are, like, sticklers for, like, rules and tradition and stuff. 459 00:25:16,391 --> 00:25:19,144 Yeah, like they all have to traditionally be men 460 00:25:19,227 --> 00:25:22,272 and the women have to traditionally wear super tight dresses. 461 00:25:22,355 --> 00:25:25,650 Okay. I'll admit, there is a problem with sexism in the magic community. 462 00:25:25,733 --> 00:25:30,447 I'm just not good with arbitrary rules and people who get off on being dicks. 463 00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:39,622 I had a really nice time tonight. I'm sorry I don't believe in magic. 464 00:26:04,356 --> 00:26:06,899 --Are you mad at me? 465 00:26:08,235 --> 00:26:09,236 No. 466 00:26:10,528 --> 00:26:12,197 Do you wanna come in? 467 00:26:13,573 --> 00:26:15,158 Uh, okay. 468 00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:27,170 Wait, wait! Can you just hold on for one second? 469 00:26:27,254 --> 00:26:28,255 -Ow. -You okay? 470 00:26:28,338 --> 00:26:29,756 Yeah, I'm just a little sore from earlier. 471 00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:30,840 -Okay. -Okay. 472 00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:31,924 -You wanna stop? -No. 473 00:26:32,008 --> 00:26:33,635 Can we just... Can we move to the bed? 474 00:26:33,718 --> 00:26:35,762 -Yeah? Yeah, okay, okay. -Uh, sure. Let's go to the bed. 475 00:26:35,845 --> 00:26:37,222 -Okay. -Okay. 476 00:26:47,774 --> 00:26:51,611 Would you mind if I use my vibrator? 477 00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:54,281 Oh. No, that, that's cool. 478 00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,616 - Yeah, yeah, go ahead. - Okay. 479 00:27:17,929 --> 00:27:19,764 -Hey. Hey. -Hi. 480 00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:37,490 - This okay? - Yes.