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[theme music playing]
2
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[Vicki] We're here! We're here!
[chuckles]
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[Ken] Took you long enough.
4
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Oh, you know, your dad. [laughs]
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Well, Kelly and I set up everything.
We did the tables and chairs.
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So, y'all can relax.
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You should've told us, we could've helped.
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-I told him to, but he--
-No! It's our pleasure. Who's this guy?
9
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-Oh, wait. Is that Li'l Andy?
-Yeah, yeah.
10
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-Li'l Drew-Drew-Bear, what's up?
-I'm here finally. What's up?
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Didn't get dressed up? That's okay.
12
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All righty then.
Oh, look, this is perfect. [chuckles]
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You get the tripod I gave you guys?
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-Did you bring it?
-Oh, where's my brain?
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-That's okay. I have one in the truck.
-Oh, okay.
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-I'll take the photo.
-No, no, no.
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No, I got it.
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-Yep.
-Oh, no.
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No, you're not gonna want a photo
in a couple of years
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with some random girl Gus was dating.
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-All right.
-Yeah, we do.
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I mean, not in that way,
but we want you, too.
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Let her take it.
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All right, everybody, happy 40th!
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[all] Happy 40th!
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-[Mickey] All right, there you go.
-You got it? Okay.
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Perfect. Good, good.
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-[Ken] I'm gonna put the music on, Mom.
-Oh, thank you.
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-Now, is this what they call a disco ball?
-Yeah.
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-[Vicki] Where did you get that?
-[Ken] This is called a 40-50.
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When we went into the party store...
They got 30-40. I went 40-50.
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-Yeah. I, oh, wow. Thank you.
-Yeah.
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-Hey.
-Jesus!
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Sorry, I knew that was gonna happen.
35
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I was, like,
"I'm gonna scare her right here, so..."
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-What? What do you want?
-Um...
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I just wanted to apologize
about last night,
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-the stuff that was said.
-I'm gonna go back to LA.
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What?
40
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I'm looking for flights
on my phone right now.
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-I'm gonna fly out in a few hours.
-Come on...
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-I hope they have that good potato salad.
-Oh, they always have potato salad.
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-Gus-man! That you?
-Hey. Hi.
44
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We've been watching your Witchita show.
45
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Spooky stuff! Spooky, spooky stuff.
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[chuckles] Well, I'm glad you like it.
Um... Uh...
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-Sorry, this is my girlfriend Mickey.
-[man] Hello!
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-This is my...
-Hi, there.
49
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...Uncle Pat and Aunt Jo right there.
Yeah.
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So, yeah... Everybody's in there,
and I'll be in there soon.
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All right, okay...
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-We'll see you soon.
-See you soon. Okay, bye.
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-[Jo] Bye.
-Bye.
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[sighs] So this is what you're doing?
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You're just threatening to break up
and leave now,
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because of what?
Because of a stupid fight?
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See, you still don't get it.
It wasn't stupid.
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You said I was unstable,
and you didn't see a future for us.
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Okay, look... When I heard you say that right now,
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I think maybe there has been
some sort of misunderstanding
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-or misinterpretation of what I said--
-No.
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It wasn't a fucking TS Eliot poem, Gus.
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It didn't need interpretation.
I knew what you meant.
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Look, this is very--
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This is insane, okay?
We haven't ever talked about this before.
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I don't even know my...
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God damn it! Fucking shit! Hey! -Hey, Gus!
-Hi.
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-Hello.
-Who's this now?
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Oh, this is my girlfriend Mickey.
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And this is my cousin Lisa
and her family. Hi, guys.
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I've already seen her all over Facebook,
so I feel like I know her already.
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-Oh, yeah, sure.
-Gus, is there a TV in there?
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No, I don't think there's a TV. Sorry.
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-Mom, you said there'd be a TV!
-You lied!
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No, nobody lied. Let's go.
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[Lisa] Hey!
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I gotta get outta here, 'cause I cannot
be the welcoming committee, okay?
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-I'm going back to LA.
-You can't do this.
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-You can't do this to me.
-Why the fuck not?
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Because this is gonna be
fuckin' hell, okay?
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Being trapped here with my family
and pretending everything's okay,
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while you and me are falling apart?
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Please?
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Fine, I will stay for this party,
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but then I am leaving afterwards,
and you can stay here until the--
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[sighs] Oh, my God.
87
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Can we just go in there?
'Cause I can't say hi to another person.
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[Mickey sighs]
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-[whispers] They gone?
-No.
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-Go.
-Okay. They make you use their caterer
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-when you rent this place, though.
-Oh, yeah.
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It's a real sweet print, isn't it?
93
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-Isn't it sweet!
-This is just so tender.
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The beams on Tower 7
were demolished diagonally, okay?
95
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-When you do a regular demolition...
-Okay.
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-Shall we enter the abyss?
-Mm-hmm.
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-Hello.
-Hi.
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[woman] I watched your witch show.
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What'd you think?
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I mean, I could do without
the devil worshiping and the paganism.
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And then one morning, we wake up,
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and our entire world is being run
by one government.
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-Really? You think so?
-Mm-hmm
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The only real obstacle
to selling recreational vehicles
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is that people consider it a luxury.
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That's partly a problem with the name.
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"Recreational." So what you do is,
you convince people,
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and I was telling you this earlier,
that it's a necessary luxury.
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That's how you hook 'em,
and then that's how you bring 'em in.
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All right, excuse me.
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I am just so proud of all my children.
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The dealerships
and the charities and the art shows
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and the teaching...
No, Gussie, your movie.
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Don't forget. That, too. [chuckles]
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I'm for the creative stuff, for sure,
but there's nobility in education.
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Teachers are heroes,
like a firefighter or a soldier, I think.
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Hmm.
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[Ken] Okay, everybody, listen up!
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First of all, let's give it up for
Mr. and Mrs. Victoria and Mark Cruikshank.
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[all cheering]
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I mean, come on. Forty years!
[chuckles] I mean, seriously, folks?
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[Vicki and Mark chuckle]
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But, you know, a lot of people
probably don't know this...
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Mom and Dad, when they first got hitched,
did not have a honeymoon.
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-[crowd] Aww.
-Yeah. No honeymoon.
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-Sorry.
-They wanted to go to Hawaii,
127
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but instead, like they always did,
they sacrificed and pinched pennies,
128
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so they could provide a better life
for their family and their children.
129
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Well, Mom and Dad,
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I believe you've sacrificed enough.
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[Hawaiian music playing]
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-[all] Aww!
-So, as an anniversary gift from me,
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Kelly, Nina and your future grandson,
of course,
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I think it is finally time
for you two to say aloha to Hawaii.
135
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-Oh!
-Yeah, you're going to Hawaii.
136
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-Oh!
-What?
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-[all cheering]
-Mom, Dad, get your butts up here!
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-We have a whole lei thing we want to do.
-[Mark] You're kidding, right?
139
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-[Ken] No.
-[Vicki shouts, laughs]
140
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-What's happening?
-He's sending them to Hawaii?
141
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[Andrew] Was there an e-mail chain
I missed?
142
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-[Caroline] No.
-No?
143
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Oh, honey. Oh, thank you.
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[all] Aw!
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-What the fuck?
-Are you okay?
146
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It's just this is a surprise to me, too.
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Wait. He didn't tell you?
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It's fine. I mean,
we can barely pay our mortgage.
149
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-But it's fine.
-Oh.
150
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-[Vicki laughing]
-Kelly! Kelly, come here.
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[chuckles]
152
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I'm sorry.
153
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-Come on, honey. Come on, honey. Let's...
-[Ken chuckles]
154
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-[Ken] Does anyone have a camera?
-His stupid shoes.
155
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What a pig in shit.
156
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-This is too much. It's too much, Ken.
-Say aloha.
157
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-Wow, very thoughtful, Ken.
-Well, they deserve it.
158
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Dude, what's wrong with you?
159
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What? No, I mean,
I wanted it to be a surprise, so...
160
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You made us look like losers.
161
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We could've pitched in
and given that together.
162
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But you guys spend your money
and travel here. That's your gift.
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I live here, so this is my gift.
I didn't want to burden you.
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[Caroline] It's too big.
165
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We should've done one of those
gift-from-the-kids kind of things.
166
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Yeah. Like, when we got them TiVos.
It was, like, $13 each.
167
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Okay... Gus, back me up here.
168
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You know what I'm doing here.
It's just a nice gesture.
169
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Yeah. No, it's very nice.
170
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It's good,
but I see where they're coming from.
171
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-Really?
-A little bit, yeah.
172
00:08:00,943 --> 00:08:04,743
I thought you guys would be happy that
Mom and Dad finally get to go to Hawaii,
173
00:08:04,822 --> 00:08:06,452
but, all right,
just make it about yourselves.
174
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-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my God.
175
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You're such a dick, do you know that?
176
00:08:09,452 --> 00:08:11,202
Oh, Andrew, we don't talk like that.
177
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-Okay, Drew, cut it.
-But he is a dick.
178
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He didn't even tell us about this gift.
179
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We couldn't pitch in if we wanted to.
180
00:08:17,418 --> 00:08:19,798
I didn't want to make you feel stupid.
I was doing it as a surprise.
181
00:08:19,879 --> 00:08:21,049
Don't do this to me again. Stop it!
182
00:08:30,932 --> 00:08:34,852
Well, uh, don't worry, Mom and Dad.
The three of us,
183
00:08:34,936 --> 00:08:37,056
we actually chipped in for a present, too,
and um... we're gonna pay for your magazines
on the flight to Hawaii.
184
00:08:41,108 --> 00:08:44,358
But just on the flight there, okay,
not the flight back. We can't afford that.
185
00:08:46,781 --> 00:08:48,951
-Oh! And we also got you this napkin.
-[Vicki] Oh.
186
00:08:49,450 --> 00:08:52,250
It's the paper napkin year, right?
Forty years, yeah?
187
00:08:52,328 --> 00:08:53,498
Oh, who's this now?
188
00:08:54,914 --> 00:08:58,754
Hey, I'm an old man with my white hair.
[chuckles]
189
00:08:59,418 --> 00:09:02,378
Hey, stop all this fightin' and fussin'.
190
00:09:02,463 --> 00:09:06,683
Y'all sound like me and Hillary
after she found out about Monica.
191
00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:11,469
I did not know
Ken was going to give that present.
192
00:09:11,556 --> 00:09:13,016
[all laughing]
193
00:09:22,441 --> 00:09:25,031
-So was I right or what?
-What?
194
00:09:25,111 --> 00:09:27,491
-My family, I told you they're insane.
-[clicks tongue]
195
00:09:27,572 --> 00:09:29,202
God. Did you see what Gus did?
196
00:09:29,282 --> 00:09:34,252
Like, every time shit gets weird,
he fuckin' turns into Jerry Seinfeld.
197
00:09:35,121 --> 00:09:39,581
Oh, he's really gotten super neurotic
since the whole Ridley Scott thing.
198
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:42,376
You guys talking about Ken's insane gift?
199
00:09:42,461 --> 00:09:44,801
No, I was telling Mickey
about Ridley Scott.
200
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,970
-Don't.
-What? It's not that big of a deal.
201
00:09:47,049 --> 00:09:49,679
Okay, I don't know
how much Gus has told you,
202
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,260
but when he first got to LA,
he was hot shit.
203
00:09:53,014 --> 00:09:53,854
-What?
-[Andrew] Yeah.
204
00:09:53,931 --> 00:09:55,271
-Really?
-Yeah. Totally.
205
00:09:55,349 --> 00:09:58,059
He wrote this script that everyone saw,
206
00:09:58,144 --> 00:10:01,984
and he took all these cushy meetings
with important people.
207
00:10:02,064 --> 00:10:04,114
-Oh, okay.
-Yeah. It was nuts.
208
00:10:04,191 --> 00:10:06,901
And he got a job
as Ridley Scott's assistant,
209
00:10:06,986 --> 00:10:10,486
but also to develop stuff with him.
210
00:10:10,573 --> 00:10:11,573
-He was set.
-[chuckles]
211
00:10:11,657 --> 00:10:14,157
-Yeah, it was so promising.
-Yeah.
212
00:10:14,243 --> 00:10:16,663
Until... [chuckles softly]
213
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,916
Okay, so, I don't know what happened,
but he got in his head
214
00:10:19,999 --> 00:10:22,999
about his career not moving fast enough.
215
00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:25,665
This is, like, a few months in only.
216
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:29,375
And so he sent Ridley
an e-mail saying, like,
217
00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:33,804
"I need you to take me more seriously,"
and on and on and on.
218
00:10:33,888 --> 00:10:35,638
-Wait. Gus did that?
-Yeah.
219
00:10:35,723 --> 00:10:37,643
That's ballsy. I like it.
220
00:10:37,725 --> 00:10:43,765
But the e-mail also included
a long exchange he had with our mom,
221
00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:46,106
and it said how he should word it.
222
00:10:46,192 --> 00:10:50,072
He was asking her all these questions
about what he should say in the e-mail,
223
00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:52,624
and that was all in there,
and the e-mail was just at the top.
224
00:10:52,698 --> 00:10:54,158
-Uh-oh.
-It was... yeah.
225
00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:56,081
-Yeah. So...
-Oh.
226
00:10:56,160 --> 00:11:00,290
And, of course,
Ridley sends it to everyone he knows,
227
00:11:00,373 --> 00:11:05,213
like directors, agents, managers,
studio execs, and he's like,
228
00:11:05,294 --> 00:11:09,724
"Look what my little assistant sent me
from his mommy." [snickers]
229
00:11:10,549 --> 00:11:12,179
Did you guys see the e-mail?
230
00:11:12,259 --> 00:11:14,719
-Yeah, it's so bad. It's...
-It's awful.
231
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:17,224
At one point, he even says,
"Thanks, Mommy."
232
00:11:17,306 --> 00:11:18,386
-Like, yeah.
-No.
233
00:11:18,974 --> 00:11:20,604
[Andrew] Oh, my God. Mom's hammered.
234
00:11:20,685 --> 00:11:24,145
I'm gonna give her the rest of my tequila
and see how fucked up she gets.
235
00:11:25,481 --> 00:11:26,571
Jesus!
236
00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:29,693
What? Last time she got hammered,
237
00:11:29,777 --> 00:11:32,737
she pushed Dad in the Rasmussens' pool.
It was awesome.
238
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,532
You want to see that, right?
239
00:11:34,615 --> 00:11:36,155
I'm gonna go get some cake.
240
00:11:36,784 --> 00:11:40,754
No, I don't want to see that.
That's, like, deeply sad.
241
00:11:42,998 --> 00:11:44,078
Uh...
242
00:11:44,708 --> 00:11:47,088
-"China Doll" by David Bowie.
-Very good.
243
00:11:48,379 --> 00:11:50,009
-I'm cleaning up the cake.
-I see.
244
00:11:53,759 --> 00:11:56,299
-[Vicki] Did you want a drink, honey?
-[Mark] No. Not right now.
245
00:11:56,387 --> 00:11:57,597
Okay.
246
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,220
-Hey.
-Mmm.
247
00:11:59,306 --> 00:12:02,556
-How's it going? Everything okay?
-It's great. I'm having so much fun.
248
00:12:02,643 --> 00:12:05,483
-Why don't you come sit down?
-Oh, no, I'm good. This is my spot.
249
00:12:05,563 --> 00:12:09,443
I can see everybody and look at...
Oh, there's Mickey! Hey, Mickey!
250
00:12:09,525 --> 00:12:12,355
Get over here! There's my girl!
251
00:12:12,445 --> 00:12:13,695
-Come here.
-Okay.
252
00:12:13,779 --> 00:12:17,069
You're my girl.
Come on over here.
253
00:12:17,158 --> 00:12:18,618
Here she comes.
254
00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:21,450
Oh, Mickey, look at you.
255
00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:26,377
Mark and I were just talking,
and we decided that you're our favorite.
256
00:12:26,459 --> 00:12:28,249
-Oh, no.
-[Mark] That's true.
257
00:12:28,836 --> 00:12:30,046
It's very sweet of you.
258
00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:34,299
Of all the girls that Gussie brought home,
you are number one best.
259
00:12:34,383 --> 00:12:37,643
Really, so much better than that...
What's her name? Natalie.
260
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,430
-Boom. Shots fired, Natalie.
-Well, Natalie was a bitch.
261
00:12:41,515 --> 00:12:43,515
-Let's just admit it.
-Hey, oh. [chuckles]
262
00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:47,271
You know, I mean, I could tell, Gussie.
Moms always can tell.
263
00:12:47,354 --> 00:12:51,154
-Okay, Vicks, let's take it easy.
-Who else was there? Um... Uh...
264
00:12:51,233 --> 00:12:54,283
-Who else was there? Theresa. [buzzes]
-Yes.
265
00:12:54,361 --> 00:12:56,661
-Am I right? [buzzes]
-I don't know about that.
266
00:12:56,739 --> 00:12:59,069
That seems like an oversimplification.
[chuckles]
267
00:12:59,158 --> 00:13:02,748
Come on. The thing about Theresa was,
she was just boring.
268
00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:04,368
-Hmm.
-You'd say to her,
269
00:13:04,455 --> 00:13:06,865
"Oh, so, where are you from?"
270
00:13:06,957 --> 00:13:10,917
And she'd say, "Lansing."
Or wherever. And that was it.
271
00:13:11,003 --> 00:13:12,173
-[Mickey] Hmm.
-Um...
272
00:13:12,254 --> 00:13:15,054
-Excuse me, but are you an alien?
-[all laugh]
273
00:13:15,132 --> 00:13:17,092
-You know?
-Yeah, well, it's true.
274
00:13:17,176 --> 00:13:19,676
-Mickey's the very best.
-She's the number one best.
275
00:13:19,762 --> 00:13:22,222
The number one.
You have to grab on to this one.
276
00:13:22,306 --> 00:13:24,636
-This is the one to hold on to.
-I will.
277
00:13:24,725 --> 00:13:25,975
I'm not letting her go!
278
00:13:26,060 --> 00:13:27,810
[Mark] My dad is leaving.
We should probably go say goodbye.
279
00:13:27,895 --> 00:13:31,145
[Vicki] Sure, let's go say bye to Daddy.
Here we go.
280
00:13:38,656 --> 00:13:40,116
[Mickey] Excuse me. I'm sorry.
281
00:13:45,746 --> 00:13:47,706
-Fuck this.
-[Gus] Hey.
282
00:13:48,999 --> 00:13:49,829
Where you goin'?
283
00:13:49,917 --> 00:13:51,337
-Going to the airport.
-Mickey, where you going?
284
00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:53,958
-Come on.
-I'm going to the airport!
285
00:13:54,046 --> 00:13:56,966
You lie to me so much.
I know about the whole Ridley Scott thing.
286
00:13:57,550 --> 00:13:59,970
Okay, look. It was late at night,
all right?
287
00:14:00,052 --> 00:14:01,852
I wasn't keeping track
of my e-mails. It was very confusing.
288
00:14:01,929 --> 00:14:03,469
I was forwarding stuff and was confused!
289
00:14:03,556 --> 00:14:05,766
Dude! Why wouldn't you tell me that?
290
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:09,726
'Cause it's not a great seduction story,
Mickey, okay?
291
00:14:09,812 --> 00:14:11,312
On our first date, I'm not gonna go,
292
00:14:11,397 --> 00:14:14,067
"Hey. Just so you know,
I embarrassed myself in front of
293
00:14:14,149 --> 00:14:16,149
-half of--"
-Give me the keys.
294
00:14:17,319 --> 00:14:19,149
-Wait. You're just going to take the...
-Yeah.
295
00:14:19,238 --> 00:14:20,488
Give me the keys.
296
00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:23,873
-Thank--
-No.
297
00:14:23,951 --> 00:14:25,041
What? Are you serious?
298
00:14:25,119 --> 00:14:26,619
-Give me the keys.
-I don't want to--
299
00:14:26,704 --> 00:14:28,874
-[stammers] Give me the key!
-Stop it.
300
00:14:28,956 --> 00:14:30,916
[hisses] Gus.
301
00:14:31,959 --> 00:14:34,459
You think that I'm not ready
to be a mother,
302
00:14:34,545 --> 00:14:36,755
but you behave like a little baby.
303
00:14:36,839 --> 00:14:38,089
You've got all these lies,
304
00:14:38,173 --> 00:14:40,433
and you run and you hide,
and you keep secrets.
305
00:14:40,509 --> 00:14:43,139
You were engaged.
The whole Ridley Scott thing.
306
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:45,350
And you tell your parents
you go to church?
307
00:14:45,431 --> 00:14:47,021
You're making it sound worse than it is.
308
00:14:47,099 --> 00:14:50,229
I'm just trying
to make people happy. Okay?
309
00:14:50,311 --> 00:14:52,101
So I lie and hide a little bit.
310
00:14:52,187 --> 00:14:55,267
I don't think there's anything super wrong
with that, Mickey.
311
00:14:56,317 --> 00:14:58,067
It's your whole family.
312
00:14:58,152 --> 00:15:00,572
Yeah, my family's nuts,
but we put it all out there.
313
00:15:00,654 --> 00:15:04,124
You don't even know my family, okay?
They're way deeper than that.
314
00:15:04,199 --> 00:15:08,869
You can't just come in and, like, "Oh,
two days, I sum up your whole family."
315
00:15:08,954 --> 00:15:10,374
Maybe I didn't want you to come with me,
316
00:15:10,456 --> 00:15:12,706
and it had nothing to do
with me and my family, okay?
317
00:15:15,127 --> 00:15:17,127
-It's me? Is that what you're saying?
-Yeah, maybe.
318
00:15:17,212 --> 00:15:19,422
Maybe it was you. Maybe I didn't want
to bring you because you,
319
00:15:19,506 --> 00:15:21,426
not because of me,
not because of my family,
320
00:15:21,508 --> 00:15:23,388
not because we're keeping secrets.
321
00:15:23,469 --> 00:15:27,349
Or whatever Eugene O'Neill drama
you have in your head right now.
322
00:15:27,431 --> 00:15:29,601
All right. Cool.
323
00:15:31,185 --> 00:15:32,515
Yeah, I'm gonna go.
324
00:15:37,316 --> 00:15:38,526
Go. I don't care.
325
00:15:40,444 --> 00:15:44,704
Can you just go in and say goodbye
to everybody?
326
00:15:44,782 --> 00:15:47,912
Just make up an excuse or something,
so I don't have to feel stupid.
327
00:15:48,535 --> 00:15:50,905
Yeah, I can do that.
328
00:15:59,797 --> 00:16:01,377
I just need a minute, okay?
329
00:16:17,022 --> 00:16:18,982
Uh... Hey, everybody...
330
00:16:19,066 --> 00:16:22,736
Sorry, bad news,
but Mickey's gotta leave town
331
00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:24,360
and go to the airport now.
332
00:16:24,989 --> 00:16:25,909
[Caroline] Wait, what?
333
00:16:26,532 --> 00:16:29,702
Yeah, something just came up at work,
and I gotta go.
334
00:16:30,285 --> 00:16:34,575
Actually, Mickey,
you don't have to do that. Uh...
335
00:16:35,416 --> 00:16:36,916
She's just being polite.
336
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,880
She's upset with me
because I've been lying to her
337
00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:44,934
and hiding things from her and all of you.
338
00:16:45,009 --> 00:16:50,099
Really, just things that I'm super
embarrassed about or ashamed of.
339
00:16:50,681 --> 00:16:53,641
You know that movie I've been making
with Arya?
340
00:16:54,476 --> 00:16:56,186
Uh, she dropped out.
341
00:16:56,937 --> 00:17:02,647
She dropped out of the whole thing.
So now I'm just super in debt,
342
00:17:02,735 --> 00:17:05,565
and the only thing I have to show for it
343
00:17:05,654 --> 00:17:09,584
is a two-minute sizzle reel.
344
00:17:11,493 --> 00:17:14,123
-What's a sizzle reel?
-It's...
345
00:17:15,205 --> 00:17:16,285
nothing.
346
00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:18,211
It's...
347
00:17:18,709 --> 00:17:20,089
it's really...
348
00:17:20,878 --> 00:17:22,758
uh, nothing.
349
00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:27,219
Look,
my point was I just blew it with Arya.
350
00:17:28,802 --> 00:17:33,562
Honestly, I think I blow every
work opportunity I've ever been given. I blew it with Ridley Scott
and the director of Liberty Down...
351
00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:42,270
and I'll never be a writer on Witchita
352
00:17:42,357 --> 00:17:45,277
because the one time
I was invited in the writers' room,
353
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:49,660
I flipped out and threw
a woman's computer across the desk. So...
354
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:51,700
-Whoa, I didn't know that.
-Yeah. Me neither.
355
00:17:51,784 --> 00:17:54,204
Oh, yeah. No, I mean, it's nothing new.
356
00:17:54,286 --> 00:17:58,326
I mean,
I have serious anger control problems.
357
00:17:59,124 --> 00:18:04,514
Last month, I was driving my car,
and I had a serious case of road rage,
358
00:18:04,588 --> 00:18:09,838
and I lost control of my car.
I spun around, and I hit some cars and...
359
00:18:11,178 --> 00:18:13,468
I didn't tell anybody about it.
[chuckles]
360
00:18:13,555 --> 00:18:16,265
You threw a woman's computer?
361
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,310
Mom, you gotta keep up with me
362
00:18:18,393 --> 00:18:21,153
'cause I'm just gonna
roll right through these, okay?
363
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:23,820
Uh, I don't think I believe in God.
364
00:18:24,399 --> 00:18:27,529
When I was nine,
I threw up in Mom's purse.
365
00:18:28,737 --> 00:18:32,157
You guys remember Natalie, right,
my ex-girlfriend?
366
00:18:32,699 --> 00:18:37,619
She pretended to cheat on me
so that I would break up with her.
367
00:18:37,704 --> 00:18:40,334
But I didn't,
so she just had to break up with me.
368
00:18:40,415 --> 00:18:41,995
Hmm...
369
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:44,094
Dad, I don't like sports.
370
00:18:44,169 --> 00:18:49,549
I just pretend to like sports so that
you and me have something to connect over.
371
00:18:50,551 --> 00:18:56,181
Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess
what I'm just saying is that...
372
00:18:57,057 --> 00:19:01,397
You know, I try.
I try to pull a fast one on all of you
373
00:19:01,478 --> 00:19:04,938
and make you think I'm the perfect son
374
00:19:05,023 --> 00:19:09,283
or the perfect brother, but, uh...
375
00:19:10,863 --> 00:19:12,613
I'm a... I'm a fuck-up.
376
00:19:14,867 --> 00:19:19,157
And the only thing I really got going
for me is Mickey.
377
00:19:22,916 --> 00:19:24,706
But I'm fucking that up, too...
378
00:19:26,086 --> 00:19:29,376
'cause I told her last night that
she's not ready to have a family, but...
379
00:19:32,176 --> 00:19:33,426
I'm wrong.
380
00:19:35,053 --> 00:19:38,143
I'm the person who's not ready
to have a family and...
381
00:19:39,183 --> 00:19:41,733
it's just easier for me to go,
382
00:19:42,603 --> 00:19:45,443
"Mickey's the crazy one.
I'm the healthy one."
383
00:19:47,566 --> 00:19:48,976
But I'm the crazy one.
384
00:19:58,660 --> 00:20:03,120
All righty then. Good to know.
Can we finish cleaning up and go home?
385
00:20:05,792 --> 00:20:07,212
[sighs]
386
00:20:08,170 --> 00:20:11,340
Okay, thank you. I...
387
00:20:32,736 --> 00:20:34,946
-I'm sorry. That was awful.
-You kidding me?
388
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:37,530
That was awesome.
389
00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:40,078
-Really?
-Yes.
390
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:43,500
I mean, I've had some
intense conversations with my parents.
391
00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:48,670
I have never gotten as honest as that.
That was brave. It took guts.
392
00:20:49,753 --> 00:20:51,673
I feel so fucked up right now.
393
00:21:08,814 --> 00:21:09,944
[Mickey] Ugh.
394
00:21:12,234 --> 00:21:15,494
Ah! Feels good.
395
00:21:16,905 --> 00:21:18,945
Ah!
396
00:21:19,032 --> 00:21:20,202
[Mickey sighs]
397
00:21:20,284 --> 00:21:21,794
Home.
398
00:21:24,746 --> 00:21:28,576
Mmm. Things got
kind of heavy back there in...
399
00:21:29,876 --> 00:21:31,456
Jesus, what's it called?
400
00:21:31,545 --> 00:21:33,585
-Brookings. Yeah.
-Brookings. Yeah.
401
00:21:35,215 --> 00:21:38,505
-But we got out of there alive.
-Yeah. Big time.
402
00:21:41,138 --> 00:21:42,678
Tell me about our future.
403
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:46,060
Okay.
404
00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:50,306
Well, we move in together.
405
00:21:50,397 --> 00:21:52,107
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.
406
00:21:52,190 --> 00:21:56,700
And then we get a little doggie.
407
00:21:56,778 --> 00:22:00,818
-Oh, I like that. A beagle.
-Yeah.
408
00:22:01,575 --> 00:22:08,165
Then, we get into couples therapy.
409
00:22:08,957 --> 00:22:14,457
-Get nice and sharp and strong.
-Yeah, yeah. And then...
410
00:22:16,965 --> 00:22:23,215
then we get married
and have babies.
411
00:22:23,305 --> 00:22:27,265
Oh, yeah. Very popular these days.
412
00:22:32,856 --> 00:22:35,026
♪ When they fight, they fight ♪
413
00:22:36,860 --> 00:22:40,110
♪ And when they come home at night
They say ♪
414
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:45,450
♪ I love you, baby ♪
415
00:22:48,622 --> 00:22:50,832
[vocalizing]
416
00:23:05,222 --> 00:23:07,182
♪ Was it too much too soon? ♪
417
00:23:09,142 --> 00:23:11,732
♪ Or too little too late? ♪
418
00:23:13,105 --> 00:23:17,025
♪ He got the message
She left on his car in the rain ♪
419
00:23:21,488 --> 00:23:24,238
♪ And then the words, they come to you ♪
420
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,160
♪ Driving away ♪
421
00:23:29,329 --> 00:23:32,249
♪ You just can't let it go ♪
422
00:23:33,125 --> 00:23:35,165
♪ And when they fight, they fight ♪
423
00:23:37,129 --> 00:23:40,169
♪ And when they come home at night
They say ♪