1
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:38,430
♪ Will you search through
the lonely earth for me

2
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:42,320
♪ Climb through the briar brambles

3
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:46,640
♪ I'll be your treasure

4
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,640
♪ I'm waiting for you

5
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,120
♪ I'm waiting for you. ♪

6
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,070
~ Hey. ~ Hey.

7
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,830
~ I phoned, left a message.
~ Oh, sorry, phone's on silent.

8
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:17,230
I went to Bishop's Farm
but you weren't there.

9
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,070
Yeah, I didn't really want to go
there again without Lance.

10
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,390
~ Is that why you've fallen out?
~ Kind of, yeah.

11
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,510
Sorry, that's my fault.

12
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,320
It's all right.

13
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,590
It was nice to meet Becky
the other night. She seems nice.

14
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,070
Yeah, cheers.

15
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,830
She's left me.

16
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,830
What? Why?

17
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,590
I'm not really sure.

18
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,120
~ Well, where's she gone? ~ Her mum's.

19
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,590
Is that my fault as well, then?

20
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,360
Probably.

21
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,880
Sorry.

22
00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:06,350
~ What are you going to do?
~ About Becky or Lance? ~ Both.

23
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,750
I don't know. I'm thinking of
giving it all up.

24
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,280
What, detecting?

25
00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:12,590
We're skint.

26
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:16,070
If I sell my detector I could
afford to take Becky away somewhere.

27
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,590
I've found my gold. Think I'm done.

28
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:20,590
Lance will be gutted.

29
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,840
Becky won't though.

30
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,270
~ Did you watch University Challenge
last night? ~ No.

31
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:29,830
But you always watch
University Challenge.

32
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,590
~ I don't know how to turn the TV on.
~ What?

33
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,120
~ Becky always turns the TV on.
~ Are you serious?

34
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,310
Three remote controls.

35
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,830
It's a complicated sequence
involving all three

36
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,590
~ and I never got to grips with it.
~ You need to get her back.

37
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:50,360
Yep, or I'll never get to
watch TV again.

38
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:56,070
Do you want to do a quick
sweep of this field, then?

39
00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:58,310
No, I'm going to head off.

40
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,910
I've got to get to work.

41
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,590
See you later.

42
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,360
See you.

43
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,080
All right, Cliff?

44
00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:25,680
~ Done them sprouts? ~ Yep.

45
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,750
Done them caulies?

46
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,360
Yep.

47
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:44,320
You see University Challenge
last night?

48
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,680
~ See what? ~ University Challenge.

49
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,830
Quiz show on TV?

50
00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,120
Jeremy Paxman?

51
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,590
Done them spuds?

52
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:10,150
Yep.

53
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,670
Hello, Maggs.

54
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,070
Yeah. No, I'm at work.

55
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,640
Hang on, hang on, hang on.

56
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,270
Ted!

57
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:30,120
Is it all right if I knock off
once I've done them pomegranates?

58
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,680
Yep. OK.

59
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,120
Excuse me.

60
00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:04,080
Excuse me!

61
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,640
Oh...sorry.

62
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,230
What properties
do the amethyst ones have?

63
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,310
Erm, erm, amethyst?

64
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:17,230
Erm, well, cleanse your chakras

65
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,550
and your aura.

66
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,830
General purpose spiritual cleanser.

67
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,320
Quite strong, like Swarfega.

68
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,110
And the moonstone?

69
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,830
Moonstone puts you in touch
with the moon -

70
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,720
strengthens your spiritual
relationship with the moon.

71
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,630
And the quartz?

72
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,590
Quartz...

73
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,640
gives you a...

74
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:48,120
.. mild sense of... paranoia.

75
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,070
Have you got anything shamanic?

76
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,070
Shamanic, shamanic,
shamanic, shamanic, sham...

77
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:02,270
Well, we've got a whole shamanic
section. It's just over here.

78
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,830
Loads of it.

79
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,070
Sorry.

80
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,550
I was longer than I thought.

81
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,070
~ Kept me waiting at the bank.
~ That's all right. How did it go?

82
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,590
No good.
They won't give me any more.

83
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,310
It's all about high street chains
these days.

84
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,710
~ No room for an independent like me.
~ So what does that mean?

85
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,590
I can't afford the rent.
I'm going to have to close up.

86
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,590
That was my last hope.

87
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:28,990
~ Tony has been offered a transfer
to another restaurant. ~ Pizza Hut?

88
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,310
Another Pizza Hut, yeah.
We'll move up north.

89
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,190
What about all your friends?
Your mum?

90
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,590
She'll have to come with.

91
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,070
Oh...

92
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,590
If only I could find
someone who'd give me a loan

93
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,830
just for a couple of months.

94
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,190
Well, I suppose...

95
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,590
~ Oh, Lance, really?
~ Well, no, I don't know if I can.

96
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,870
I mean, I'd have to run some numbers,
see what I can spare.

97
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,830
That would be so good of you.

98
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,070
It would only be for a couple of
months while I sort this all out.

99
00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:02,310
The shop's starting to pick up.
It's been going really well.

100
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,070
~ Yeah? ~ Yeah, really well.

101
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,390
Have you sold much
while I've been gone?

102
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,120
Erm, just a green sky otter.

103
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,070
What about Tony?
Has he not got any savings?

104
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,720
Nah, not that he's told me about.
He spends it all on his skin.

105
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,910
Right.

106
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,310
You'd really save me
if you could, Lance,

107
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,830
and it would mean we could stay here
and I'd get to see you more often.

108
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:29,070
~ Well, I don't know if I can yet,
Maggs. I'll have a look. ~ Course.

109
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,880
I haven't got that much time
though, Lance.

110
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,710
Fancy a cuppa?

111
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,640
Go on, then.

112
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,710
Do you take sugar?
I can't remember.

113
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,590
Do I take sugar? You know I do. One!

114
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,640
Tea without sugar is vegetable soup.

115
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:52,950
That's right! I won't be a sec.

116
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,830
What does this do?

117
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,150
Oh, God. Hmm?

118
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,830
Oh, it's a...

119
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:00,590
spirit stick.

120
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:01,830
Yeah.

121
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,360
You...

122
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,560
.. hit spirits with it.

123
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,310
Come on, Becky. Please.

124
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,960
I feel like I'm in
a Richard Curtis film.

125
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,950
I told you not to come here.
I told you I'd phone you.

126
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,030
I lost my phone. I thought you
might have been trying to call.

127
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,590
That's bollocks.
I can see your phone.

128
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,470
~ I found it again.
~ Were there any messages from me?

129
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,710
~ No. ~ Right, well, I guess
I didn't phone you, then.

130
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,830
~ I sold my metal detector. ~ Really?

131
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,990
No, not yet, but I'm going to sell
it tomorrow. I got a quote from the

132
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,990
bloke in the shop and I'm definitely
going to sell it tomorrow.

133
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,070
And this is your big gesture -
your big romantic gesture?

134
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,790
I suppose it is. I thought
we could go away somewhere.

135
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,590
It's not about the detecting, Andy.

136
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,710
~ What's it about, then?
~ You really don't know!

137
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,400
No, I don't think I do.

138
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,230
~ This isn't what it looks like.
~ Really?

139
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,230
Because it looks like you
kissing Sophie in a field.

140
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,070
It's not. She kissed me.

141
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,110
Right. Like she was holding your
hand the other night in the pub.

142
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,310
Yes.
This... this isn't a romantic kiss.

143
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,510
~ This is a congratulations kiss.
~ Well, congratulations.

144
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,110
There's no tongues.

145
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,830
Uh! Please spare me.

146
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,070
Where did...? Did you take this?

147
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,590
No, I didn't.

148
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,950
I've got better things to do
than sneak around spying on you.

149
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,550
It was left on the doorstep.

150
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,430
I'm not sleeping with Sophie.

151
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,830
I didn't say you were sleeping
with Sophie.

152
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,230
I think you're getting
nice and friendly with Sophie

153
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,030
with a view to hopefully sleeping
with her in the near future.

154
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,790
~ No, that's not what I want.
~ What do you want?

155
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,640
You, Becks. I want you.

156
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,680
I don't know if I want you any more.

157
00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,830
I've got to think. I need some time.

158
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,160
Please don't come round here
and don't phone me.

159
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,830
~ Do you...?
~ No. I'm all right, thanks.

160
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,800
I'm good for photos of you
kissing other women.

161
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,950
Going to keep it, are you?
Put it in your scrapbook?

162
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,080
No, I just... I didn't...

163
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,550
~ I don't want it in there, thanks.
~ Pardon?

164
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:31,960
I don't want it in my mum's bin.

165
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,390
~ Have you got a recycling bin?
~ Just take it with you.

166
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,800
Yeah, right, sorry.

167
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,800
Hello.

168
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,640
Hello.

169
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,310
How's it going?

170
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,640
Yeah, brilliant, yeah.

171
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,230
~ Have you spoken to Andy? ~ Who?

172
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,310
Oh, come on, Lance. What's going on?

173
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,590
Why aren't you two speaking?

174
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,640
~ Why do you think?
~ Because of the gold?

175
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,590
Look...

176
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,070
it used to be me and Andy, right.

177
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:41,640
This was our escape from the rude
world, from the madding crowd.

178
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:47,070
You know, we were quite happy
finding junk and talking bollocks

179
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,360
and then you come along
and throw a shoe in the works.

180
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,070
Do you know how often we find gold?

181
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,590
Never!

182
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,360
We never find it.

183
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,590
And that's what we're looking for.
We don't say that.

184
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,070
We don't say we're looking for gold.

185
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:08,590
We pretend we're happy, you know,
finding buckles and buttons

186
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,070
and crap,
but what we're hoping for...

187
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,670
is gold.

188
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,950
Find one piece of gold.

189
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,590
Something that's
been held by Saxon or...

190
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,880
Roman.

191
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:26,070
One of the other ancient peoples
that once roamed this land before us.

192
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:30,790
Me and Andy, well,
we've been detecting along time.

193
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,550
We must have been pulled a couple
of tons of metal out of this county.

194
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,310
Lead, bronze, copper, iron,

195
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,360
occasionally silver.

196
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,240
Never gold.

197
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,310
So when you buy a second-hand
metal detector

198
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,310
and go out for the first time
and find gold with my best friend,

199
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,310
yeah, yeah, I'll admit it,

200
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,470
I'm a bit jealous
because I wish I'd been there.

201
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,190
I didn't find it. Andy did.

202
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,590
~ You were his lucky charm, were you?
~ I don't know.

203
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,760
I didn't find it, I didn't plant it.
He found it on his own.

204
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,360
Yeah, I know.

205
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,190
I don't believe in lucky charms.

206
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,640
You wouldn't say that if you saw me
in Maggie's shop yesterday.

207
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,280
~ Yeah?
~ Quite the new age salesman, I was.

208
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,310
I didn't get to meet Maggie
the other day in the pub.

209
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,590
No, probably lucky.

210
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,590
She'd have fleeced you.

211
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,720
~ Yeah? ~ Yeah.

212
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:40,590
She's after a loan from me to pay
her rent and keep her shop open.

213
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,070
~ Did you give it to her? ~ No.

214
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,120
Well, didn't say I would,
didn't say I wouldn't.

215
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:52,310
If I don't, she'll move up north
and I'll never see her again.

216
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,150
What's her new bloke doing?
Why can't he bail her out?

217
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,720
~ Cause he's a cunt. ~ Gotcha.

218
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,830
Don't do it, Lance.

219
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,830
Don't lend her anything.

220
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,120
That's none of your business.

221
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,360
I know. Sorry.

222
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,640
Listen...

223
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,640
.. I've never admitted
this to anyone, but...

224
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,590
.. I really won the lottery
the day Maggie left me.

225
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,880
Right.

226
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,310
You mean, what,
you didn't realise at the time

227
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,510
but actually it was the best thing
that could have happened?

228
00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,790
Pardon?

229
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,590
You mean that... it was a good thing.

230
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,120
What was?

231
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,310
~ Maggie leaving you? ~ Eh?

232
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,590
What did you mean then,
"I won the lottery?"

233
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,790
~ I won the lottery the day Maggie
left me. ~ Sorry, what do you mean?

234
00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:56,110
What part of, "I won the lottery",
don't not understand?

235
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,310
~ You won the lottery? ~ Yes.

236
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,590
~ The National Lottery? ~ Yes.

237
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,070
~ How much? ~ Three hundred grand.

238
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,480
~ Shut up! ~ True.

239
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,310
November the fifth.

240
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:13,120
She said she was leaving, that
she'd met this bloke, and she left.

241
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:19,640
I was reeling. I didn't know what
to do so I went out for a walk...

242
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,590
.. and everywhere was lit up.

243
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,360
You know, firework night.

244
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,070
It was like everyone was
celebrating my misfortune

245
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,310
so I went into this offie
to buy a can,

246
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:35,070
but I only had a quid
so I bought a lottery ticket.

247
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,070
First one I've ever bought.

248
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,590
And, bam,

249
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,950
300K, thank you very much.

250
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,590
No way!

251
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:44,120
Yes way.

252
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,880
Never told anyone that before.

253
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,600
~ Can I borrow a tenner? ~ No.

254
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,070
Oh, God.

255
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,310
What?

256
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,800
It's them. The Everly Brothers.

257
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,110
Simon and Garfunkel.

258
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,640
Hello, there!

259
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,070
Ah...

260
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,270
We have good news!

261
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,870
Go on.

262
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,310
This land is now a site of
special archaeological interest.

263
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,070
Under the jurisdiction
of Colchester Museum.

264
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,310
And we, the Antique Researchers,
have been given sole permission

265
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,910
to detect on this land
as official affiliators of

266
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,070
and in accordance with the
North Essex Portable Antiquities...

267
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,310
All right, mate.
Jesus. Listen to yourself.

268
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,830
You sound like a dickhead.
Speak normally.

269
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,310
You no longer have permission
to detect on this land

270
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,590
under the Ancient Monuments and
Archaeological Areas Act 1979.

271
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,390
Still sound like a dickhead.
Look like a dickhead as well.

272
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,230
~ Immature as usual. ~ Dickhead.

273
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,640
All right. Let's go.

274
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,150
Too late, mate.
They're pushing us out.

275
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,830
~ They've got sole permission.
~ Did you take this photo?

276
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,390
No.

277
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,840
~ Well, you haven't even seen it yet
so obviously you did. ~ What is it?

278
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,080
Phil, you bastard.

279
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,310
~ Phil? ~ Phil? ~ Is your name Phil?

280
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,430
~ How did you know his name was Phil?
~ I thought it was Art. ~ Why Art?

281
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,360
~ Shut the fuck up, Paul.
~ What's going on?

282
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,950
~ Do you want to tell them?
~ Not really.

283
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,150
Wait, are you an Antique Researcher?

284
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,310
~ Was. ~ Was?

285
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,430
They asked me to keep an eye on you.

286
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,110
Jesus, this is like the worst ever
episode of Scooby-Doo.

287
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,070
~ Hello, there! ~ Oh, here we go.

288
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,830
I see you've met.

289
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,710
Exciting news, eh?

290
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,830
The MoD have finished their survey

291
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:45,070
and the archaeology bods
are arriving at the weekend,

292
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:49,150
opening up a couple of trenches,
having a look see what they find.

293
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,470
Super.

294
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,030
And I understand you chaps
are helping them out.

295
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,030
No, these chaps are.
We've been pushed out.

296
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:58,830
~ What? Why? ~ Do you remember
I told you about the rogues?

297
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,990
Well, these are they.

298
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,830
And she was the mole.

299
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:06,760
~ Andy. ~ She spied on us and passed
the information on to these chaps.

300
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,590
Oh, come on.

301
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,830
You're all metal detectors.

302
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,920
Detectorists!

303
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,000
~ Pub? ~ Go on, then.

304
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,270
Andy!

305
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,360
I'm sorry.

306
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,070
Did you see Fifteen To One?

307
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,640
No. I can't turn on the telly.

308
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,640
~ Not the same. ~ I know.

309
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,360
~ I miss William G Stewart. ~ Yeah.

310
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:54,590
Yeah, I like Toksvig, but, you know,

311
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,070
she's always cracking jokes.

312
00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,310
William G never cracked jokes.

313
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:00,830
Very rarely.

314
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,590
And when he did they weren't funny.

315
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,880
Yeah, there's no room for humour
on Fifteen To One.

316
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,590
You know, I knew there was
something I didn't like about her.

317
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,640
Sold us down the river.

318
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,640
~ It's that new detector she bought.
~ Had it for years probably.

319
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,590
~ And Bishop's Farm? ~ Gone.

320
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,070
Bugger.

321
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,830
Well, personally, I'm withdrawing
my bid to become Club President.

322
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,470
Yeah, likewise.

323
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,550
So who's going to lead us, then?
I'm not bloody doing it.

324
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,910
To be honest, Russ, I think the days
of the DMDC are numbered.

325
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,550
~ But we've still got half a jar
of coffee left. ~ You take it.

326
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,880
We're... we're not going
to disband, are we?

327
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,590
Well, I'm going to go independent.

328
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,590
Go it alone.

329
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,640
Like the Lone Ranger?

330
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,310
A bit like the Lone Ranger,
Hugh, yeah.

331
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:06,830
~ What about you, Andy? ~ I'll probably
go it alone as well, with Lance.

332
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,360
~ Like Tonto?
~ No, Hugh. Not like Tonto.

333
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,550
~ Terry, you're back!
~ Can't keep a good man down, Russell.

334
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,590
~ How's the leg?
~ Oh, a bit stiff, but on the mend.

335
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,550
The doctors said he will back
at Flamenco in a month.

336
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,070
Well, we'll see, love.
Don't want to rush things.

337
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,110
Hang on, where's the finds table?

338
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,830
~ We couldn't find it.
~ Oh, well, that's just great.

339
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,790
That is indicative of the whole
attitude of this club, isn't it?

340
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:40,030
I'm away for a week
and everything falls apart.

341
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:43,430
I mean, why couldn't you use
that table or that one?

342
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,950
~ We always use the same table.
~ Nothing to put on it anyway, Tel.

343
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:50,070
Nothing?
Nobody's found anything this week?

344
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:53,830
~ We were telling everyone.
We've lost Bishop's Farm. ~ Who to?

345
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,830
The Essex Archaeological Society,
Ministry of Defence,

346
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,590
the Antique Researchers,
you name them.

347
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:03,350
We're the only people in the county
that aren't allowed on the land.

348
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,990
~ And where's Sophie?
~ Gone to the other side.

349
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,830
~ Dead? ~ No, she has defected.

350
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,830
Or rather it turns out she was
always on their side. She was a spy.

351
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:14,640
Bitch!

352
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:20,550
Well, I hope that teaches you not
to make decision with your dicks!

353
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,990
You let her join.

354
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:25,670
~ I wasn't talking about you, Louise.
You haven't got a dick. ~ Huh. Sexist.

355
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:29,550
You should see him
in his Flamenco outfit. Oh!

356
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,350
Sexist, Sheila. Not sexy.

357
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,750
So, have you decided
on a new president?

358
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,070
Sort of lost the enthusiasm really,
Terry.

359
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,630
Sorry, Telly.

360
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:43,280
Well, that's it, then. The end of
the Danebury Metal Detecting Club.

361
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,070
~ Is this the metal detecting club?
~ You're too late, mate.

362
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,830
We're not accepting any new members.
In fact, we're disbanding the club.

363
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,910
But thank you for your interest.

364
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,070
Delivery for Lance Stater.

365
00:21:57,120 --> 00:22:00,030
Oh, I ordered those fleeces,
didn't I?

366
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:03,590
~ What fleeces? ~ As part of my bid
to become Club President,

367
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,590
I ordered fleeces with the DMDC logo
embroidered on them.

368
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,590
~ Shall I bring the rest in, then?
~ There's more?

369
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,320
Four more boxes.

370
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,830
Yeah, I had to get 150
to get the discount on them.

371
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,590
Hey, they're all right, these.

372
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,120
Camouflage! What else?

373
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,590
So, what are you going to do
with them?

374
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,030
Erm... we could share them.

375
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,790
21 each?

376
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,310
No.

377
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:37,430
Come on. We can't disband this club.
Not now we got fleeces.

378
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,430
I am withdrawing my resignation,

379
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,270
taking back the Presidency.

380
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,590
Let's breathe some new life
into this club.

381
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:49,310
We'll have an open day, fundraiser,

382
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,030
recruitment drive.

383
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,910
We'll get new members,
put them in club fleeces

384
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,590
and get out there

385
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,590
looking for the history that
is buried underneath our feet.

386
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,920
What do you say?

387
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,760
I can't hear you!

388
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,710
~ OK. ~ Yeah, all right.

389
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,470
That's more like it.

390
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,470
Would you like us to lift you
onto our shoulders now?

391
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,640
Oh, not with my leg, no.

392
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,400
Give him a week.

393
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,590
Becky, it's me.

394
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,590
I know you told me not to phone
but I couldn't help it.

395
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,350
I need you back.

396
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,070
I can't turn on the telly.

397
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,070
That's not the reason.

398
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:28,590
I was saying that to be cute.

399
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,830
I'll learn how to turn on the telly.

400
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,070
I could probably work it out
if I tried hard enough.

401
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:37,590
But I'm going to try really hard,
not with the telly,

402
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,590
you know, I'm going to try harder
with everything,

403
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,590
with us and everything.

404
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,590
I'm going to sell my detector
and I know I already said that

405
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,070
I had sold it or I was going to,
but I didn't get around to it,

406
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,150
but I'm going to sell it tomorrow
or the next day definitely.

407
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,310
You can count on me.
I'm going to change.

408
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:58,640
I really want this.

409
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,590
I want to have this...

410
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,830
chance to...

411
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,830
start again.

412
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,070
I'm going to pull my finger out
and my socks up

413
00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,640
and myself together and we can...

414
00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:16,070
I need you, Becky.

415
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:18,440
I'm nothing without you.

416
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,640
I can't even turn on the telly.

417
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,760
Brilliant. That's sorted, then.

418
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,310
There they are.

419
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:35,790
Bastards.

420
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,030
Who?

421
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,590
Simon and Garfunkel
detecting the spoil heap.

422
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,830
Damn it! Imagine what
we're missing down there.

423
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,880
My gold was only a few inches
under the surface.

424
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,640
What are you going to do with that?

425
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,310
~ I was going to give it to Becky.
~ Nice gesture.

426
00:25:54,360 --> 00:25:56,590
It would be if she was
talking to me.

427
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,640
She still not answering your calls?

428
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,310
~ Can I tell you something private?
~ Becky's pregnant. ~ What?

429
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:10,590
~ How did you know that?
~ So you finally figured it out.

430
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,590
~ Who told you?
~ No-one told me. It was obvious.

431
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,310
How is it obvious?

432
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:18,590
Well, she hasn't been drinking
and we all know Becky likes a drink.

433
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:21,830
You said she was sick every morning
even though she hadn't had a drink

434
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,590
and she went to be on her own

435
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,590
when it looked like you were
wavering your devotions to her.

436
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,470
All the signs were there, mate.
How did you figure it out?

437
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,720
I found the box from a pregnancy
test in the bathroom bin.

438
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,840
God, I'm an idiot!

439
00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,640
Got to go and get her back.

440
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:43,320
Yeah, you're right.

441
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,590
Not right now, though.

442
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,640
Rozzers have arrived.

443
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,590
What are they doing?

444
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,070
Probably just routine,
you know, police business.

445
00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,510
Oh, they're giving Simon and
Garfunkel their marching orders.

446
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:01,750
Yeah?

447
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,640
They're packing up. Homeward bound.

448
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,640
Oh. Bishop's down there.

449
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,590
Maybe we should go down there
and see what's afoot.

450
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,590
You know, grab a sneaky sweep
of the spoil heap?

451
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,830
Have you got your detector
in the car?

452
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,880
Pope shit in the woods?

453
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:23,640
Banzai.

454
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,590
~ Hello, Larry. ~ Hello, there!

455
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,070
What do you think of all this, then?
It's like the Battle of the Somme.

456
00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,910
These trenches and mud
and god knows what.

457
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,590
~ What's happening?
~ Quite exciting, really.

458
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,070
~ First trench they put down, bones.
~ Really? ~ Really.

459
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:43,310
Right there. A grave. The history
chaps say they're looking for

460
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:46,630
a Saxon - I think they may have
found him straightaway.

461
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,590
There wouldn't be any bones
left in a Saxon grave Larry.

462
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,070
Saxon bones would have rotted away
a long time ago.

463
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,070
Why are the fuzz here?

464
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:57,590
Apparently, when bones are found,
the boys in blue have to be involved

465
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,350
until it's confirmed that
the remains are historical.

466
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,440
They're coming over now.

467
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,360
~ Mr Bishop? ~ Larry.
~ Do you recognise this, sir?

468
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,230
Good God.

469
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:12,310
~ That's Justine's wedding ring.
~ Laurence Michael Bishop,

470
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:14,750
I'm arresting you
on suspicion of murder.

471
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,590
You do not have to say anything
but it may harm your defence

472
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,830
if you do not mention
when questioned something you
later rely on in court.

473
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,670
Anything you do say may be given
in evidence. Do you understand?

474
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:25,590
Perfectly, thank you.

475
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,200
There's a turn up for the books.
Wasn't expecting that. Were you?

476
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,720
Keep an eye out for the dog,
will you, while I'm gone?