1 00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:40,527 * Will you search through the lonely earth for me? 2 00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:45,227 * Climb through the briar and bramble? 3 00:00:45,267 --> 00:00:50,527 * I'll be your treasure 4 00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:53,467 * I'm waiting for you 5 00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:58,173 * I'm waiting for you 6 00:01:09,133 --> 00:01:11,373 Morning. You sleep at all? 7 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,170 No, I needed a wee most of the night, but I was too scared. 8 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,530 - Of what? - I don't know. 9 00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:20,727 Ghosts, I think, or a wolf. 10 00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:23,267 - Did you check the spot? - Yeah. 11 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,500 - Anything? - Nah. There's definitely more. 12 00:01:26,533 --> 00:01:30,403 That's why they were watching. I figured it out. 13 00:01:30,433 --> 00:01:34,433 - Who's watching what? - I figured it out in the night. 14 00:01:34,467 --> 00:01:38,127 The magpies have been watching this spot for centuries, 15 00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:41,027 successive generations of them. 16 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:44,027 The magpies know there's more down there. 17 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:47,327 You're sounding a bit mystical. 18 00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:51,627 No, makes sense. Magpies love shiny things. 19 00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:53,297 Yeah, but they don't pass stories 20 00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,503 - to their kids and grandkids. - How do you know? 21 00:01:55,533 --> 00:01:58,803 Might be some sort of collective genetic memory. 22 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:00,273 Do you want a cup of tea? 23 00:02:08,367 --> 00:02:10,497 How do I catch a magpie? 24 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:13,697 - Alive? - Yeah. 25 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,503 - With utmost difficulty, mate. - You reckon? 26 00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:19,373 Are you joking? What are your ideas? 27 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,470 What's top of your list of ways to catch a live magpie? 28 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,500 - Net. - What kind of net? 29 00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:29,333 - A big one, like a landing net. - What, and just creep up on it? 30 00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:31,727 Sit in a hide? 31 00:02:31,767 --> 00:02:36,067 - Put bait out. - Good luck with that. 32 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:39,330 What you gonna do once you've caught it? Interrogate it? 33 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,827 I reckon that they're hoarding it all in one place - 34 00:02:42,867 --> 00:02:44,327 the gold coins. 35 00:02:44,367 --> 00:02:46,467 So if we could catch a magpie 36 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,300 and attach a tracking device or a camera, 37 00:02:49,333 --> 00:02:53,173 get it to take another coin, we could watch where it goes. 38 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,400 I think you might have a urine infection, mate. 39 00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:57,303 You held on to it for too long. 40 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,373 Ah, well... 41 00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:03,173 ..I have to try. 42 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,070 - You going up the club Monday? - What's happening? 43 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:09,470 Varde's giving a talk on the NCP hoard. 44 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,130 - What's NCP stand for? - I don't know. 45 00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:16,097 National Car Parks, isn't it? I might be late, I'm working. 46 00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:17,433 You told me you quit your job. 47 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:20,567 I did. I've signed up again with a temping agency: 48 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,800 weed-killing on the A414. 49 00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:25,473 Nice! 50 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:29,430 I'm not in till Tuesday, so I... I thought I might stay here, 51 00:03:29,467 --> 00:03:32,197 guard the place. 52 00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:34,173 Are you avoiding your flat? 53 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:38,800 No. 54 00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:56,603 Hello. Have you come about the boiler? 55 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,273 I'm looking for Lance. Is he here? 56 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,100 - No. Is it about the boiler? - What? 57 00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:06,503 - No, sorry. Who are you? - I'm Maggie, Lance's ex. 58 00:04:06,533 --> 00:04:12,073 - Who are you? - I'm Toni, Lance's current. 59 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,700 "Currant?" What, like a sultana? 60 00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:16,533 No, current as in... 61 00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:20,467 Oh, my God! Oh, are you Lance's girlfriend? 62 00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:22,070 Oh! 63 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:26,370 Oh, I'm so sorry, I thought you meant like a raisin. 64 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,070 Oh! 65 00:04:28,867 --> 00:04:30,667 Did he not tell you? 66 00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:33,470 Oh, my God, this must look awful, 67 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,630 me standing here in my slippers. 68 00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:38,367 No, he's just letting me stay in his daughter's room 69 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,200 while she's away. 70 00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:42,533 Come in. Come in! 71 00:04:43,467 --> 00:04:45,227 Oh! 72 00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:48,703 - Kate's gone away? - Yeah. 73 00:04:48,733 --> 00:04:51,533 She borrowed his car, his little yellow TVR, 74 00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:55,097 while he's off camping or something. 75 00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:58,173 So...you're his girlfriend. 76 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,273 Let's have a look at you. 77 00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:07,273 Ah... You're not how I thought you'd be. 78 00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:09,600 I thought you'd be more, like, you know... 79 00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:10,733 Like what? 80 00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,367 Well, he used to be married to me, 81 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,470 so someone more like, you know, nice clothes, bit of makeup, 82 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,770 not so...tomboy-ish. 83 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,530 What's your name again? 84 00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:22,027 - Trevor? - Toni. 85 00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:24,427 Oh. Oh, how funny. 86 00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:27,797 No, you look cute in that. 87 00:05:27,833 --> 00:05:29,473 I mean, it wouldn't suit me. 88 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:33,830 People expect me to have nice clean nails in my line of work. 89 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,127 - What's your line of work? - I'm an author. 90 00:05:36,167 --> 00:05:37,397 - Are you? - Yeah. 91 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:45,170 Yeah, I've had a bit of a tidy up. Place was in a right state. 92 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,630 He needs someone looking after him, that man. 93 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:53,000 - Are you a Scorpio? - No. 94 00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:57,703 Do you want me to tell him you were here? 95 00:05:57,733 --> 00:05:59,573 If you want. 96 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:07,500 See you. 97 00:06:12,133 --> 00:06:14,403 All right, Steve. These the new spares, are they? 98 00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:17,303 Yeah, they're the new ones. You fill the tanks with water? 99 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,173 - Yes, just water in there. - OK, well, 100 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,430 put half a bottle of that in each tank. 101 00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:23,627 Don't get it on your hands and don't breathe it in. 102 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,333 - All right? - Yeah, that's all done, yeah. 103 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,200 - Don't forget your... - Ah. 104 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:44,200 - You need filling up? - Yeah. 105 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:46,033 - Give it here, I'll do it. - Cheers. 106 00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:30,127 Thank you, Varde. 107 00:10:30,167 --> 00:10:33,627 Very interesting talk on a fascinating hoard. 108 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,567 And, as ever with these things, 109 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,630 it throws up more questions than it answers. 110 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:41,497 Why were so many national cycling proficiency badges 111 00:10:41,533 --> 00:10:43,233 buried together? 112 00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:46,027 - And by whom? - Hell's Angels. 113 00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:47,397 Lance Armstrong. 114 00:10:47,433 --> 00:10:49,433 Any other questions for Varde 115 00:10:49,467 --> 00:10:51,267 before she rests her voice? 116 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,730 You must be quiet hoarse after that marathon. 117 00:10:54,867 --> 00:10:56,367 No questions? 118 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,800 OK, moving on. 119 00:10:57,833 --> 00:11:01,803 Lance, you got any further tracing your stolen coin? 120 00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,703 Oh, I've given up with that, Teriyaki. 121 00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:06,233 I've been chasing magpies for the last two days. 122 00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:07,727 That's good. 123 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:11,827 Birdwatching's very good for the soul, it's calming. 124 00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:14,397 Yeah, not this type of birdwatching, Sheila. 125 00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:17,573 This is angry birdwatching for monetary gain. 126 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,470 He wanted to catch one and strap a camera to it. 127 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,730 I left a coin there, 128 00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:24,267 but they didn't touch it, cos they knew it wasn't gold. 129 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,230 They didn't touch it, cos you was next to it with a net. 130 00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:29,827 Actually, Varde had an idea about that, didn't you? 131 00:11:29,867 --> 00:11:32,227 Varde was saying that magpies, you know, 132 00:11:32,267 --> 00:11:34,827 being part of the corvid family, are highly-intelligent. 133 00:11:34,867 --> 00:11:37,167 So, you could, given time, gain its trust 134 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,500 and get it to take things from you. 135 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,173 It's all very well you saying that, Varde. 136 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,700 I haven't got the time to tame a magpie! 137 00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:47,033 We lose that land in three weeks. 138 00:11:47,067 --> 00:11:50,127 Honestly, you're all talk sometimes. 139 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,727 Are you sure you're not just using 140 00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:55,067 this temporary magpie obsession 141 00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,070 to block out the difficulties 142 00:11:57,100 --> 00:12:00,070 you're having in your private life? 143 00:12:00,100 --> 00:12:02,800 - I was just going to say that. - Me, too. 144 00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:05,833 It seems like you're focussing too much on magpies 145 00:12:05,867 --> 00:12:07,797 and not on your real problems. 146 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,667 No! 147 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,370 Anyway, I'm done with the gold coins and the magpies. 148 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,670 You were right... I'm gonna let that one go. 149 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:33,630 Pint of Stella, please, Mike. 150 00:12:38,567 --> 00:12:40,797 Hiya, Toni love, it's me. 151 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,200 You haven't been returning my calls, 152 00:12:44,233 --> 00:12:46,833 so I was just wondering if everything's all right. 153 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,327 Anyway, give us a ring when you get this message, 154 00:12:50,367 --> 00:12:53,297 otherwise I'll...I'll probably see you at work. 155 00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,667 Bye. 156 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,500 Cheers, Michael. 157 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,270 Sure I can't tempt anyone to stay? 158 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:09,030 No, no, gotta be fresh for Bollywood class in the morning. 159 00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:10,567 Terry's favourite. 160 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,170 Oh, yeah, you like the old Bollywood, do you? 161 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,670 - Oh, yes. - He's very good. 162 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:18,500 He could be in the movies. 163 00:13:18,533 --> 00:13:21,833 If he dyed his moustache and learnt to speak Hindi. 164 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,767 - Bye, all. - See you. 165 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,500 Ta-ra, night. 166 00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,833 You all right? You gonna stay on your own? 167 00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:32,367 Yeah, I've got my magazine, you know, and... 168 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,730 I'm just gonna give it another hour. 169 00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:37,197 Wait for Mags to go to bed. 170 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:39,133 Bloody hell, mate, that's no way to live. 171 00:13:39,167 --> 00:13:41,097 - Won't be for long. - I can stay for another, 172 00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:42,373 but I've gotta be up early - 173 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,300 pressure-hosing chewing gum in Chelmsford. 174 00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:45,773 - Charming. - Cheerio. 175 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,570 Cheers. 176 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,270 - Hi. - Hi. 177 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:11,100 - Mmm, beer and Scout hall. - You love it. 178 00:14:11,133 --> 00:14:14,233 - I do. How was the club? - Same. 179 00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:16,497 I can't imagine what you have to talk about. 180 00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:19,303 - Do you meet weekly? - Very weekly sometimes. 181 00:14:19,333 --> 00:14:22,133 Usually just turns into a therapy session, if I'm honest. 182 00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:23,727 I would love to be a fly on the wall. 183 00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:26,397 You don't have to be a fly on the wall. You can come along. 184 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,373 No. Ooh, I found a couple more flats I want to see. 185 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,800 - Are you working tomorrow? - Afraid so, in Colchester. 186 00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,773 - Oh. - Where were you today? 187 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,800 - Colchester, the same. - All day? 188 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,333 Till four, yeah. 189 00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:38,597 Andy uncovered a portion 190 00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:40,633 of Roman mosaic last week, didn't you? 191 00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:43,027 I did, yeah. We were hoping there was gonna be more, 192 00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:45,327 but we only turned up medieval stuff today. 193 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:50,197 Didn't I see you on the A414, outside Mornam? 194 00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:53,503 Pardon? No. No, I was in Colchester. 195 00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:56,103 Looked like you, lunch time, 196 00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:58,603 spraying the weeds on the hard shoulder. 197 00:14:58,633 --> 00:15:02,373 No. No. I don't know who that could have been. 198 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,100 Well, if it wasn't you, why would you know who it was? 199 00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:06,603 Exactly, could've been anyone. 200 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,503 I'm gonna hit the sack. Are you coming up? 201 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,473 - Yeah, I won't be long. - Good night. 202 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,500 What was that for? 203 00:15:21,533 --> 00:15:23,603 For lying about Kate not taking your car. 204 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:26,373 Oh. How'd you find out? 205 00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,627 I came by your flat. 206 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,467 - And the car wasn't there? - No. 207 00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,230 Was anyone else there? 208 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,597 Yeah, your ex-wife Maggie was there. 209 00:15:36,633 --> 00:15:38,773 Oh, right, yeah, listen, I've made a mess... 210 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:42,600 Look, could you stop throwing potatoes just for a minute? 211 00:15:42,633 --> 00:15:44,233 I've made a mess of things. 212 00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,167 I should've told you, but I panicked. 213 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,600 You lied. 214 00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:50,203 I know, but I thought I was doing it... 215 00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:53,273 Ohh! Please stop throwing potatoes at me. 216 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,570 I know I deserve to have potatoes thrown at me, 217 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,370 but it's very hard to concentrate. 218 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,500 There's going nothing on between us. We're not back together. 219 00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:03,833 I never suggested there was anything going on. 220 00:16:03,867 --> 00:16:06,527 If there's one thing I know you're not, Lance, it's a cheat. 221 00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,767 Oh, well, thanks. 222 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,530 But you're a liar and a coward. 223 00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:15,167 And those are two of my least favourite character traits. 224 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,330 I don't usually lie. 225 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:19,097 You just thought you'd try it out on me? You bastard. 226 00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:21,603 Lying is what breaks couples up, didn't you know that? 227 00:16:21,633 --> 00:16:22,773 I didn't think. 228 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,270 Another character trait I don't like. That's three. 229 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,600 - I'm an idiot. - Four. 230 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,600 For months now, whenever I suggest staying at yours, 231 00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:37,373 you say Kate's there and the place isn't your own 232 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:38,830 and you don't feel comfortable. 233 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,227 I've never said I felt uncomfortable. 234 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,297 I just wanted to spend some time with you. 235 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:46,103 But the moment your ex turns up, you give Kate your car key, 236 00:16:46,133 --> 00:16:48,833 say, "Make yourself scarce," and the ex gets invited to stay. 237 00:16:48,867 --> 00:16:50,497 I couldn't turn her away, could I? 238 00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:53,373 You turn me away on a regular basis. 239 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,130 Right, I'm gonna tell her, she has to go. 240 00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:58,097 - Do what you want. - Mags! 241 00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:00,997 My name's Toni, for fuck's sake! 242 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,430 How long have you been waiting there? 243 00:18:30,467 --> 00:18:33,067 - Two days? - No, I heard you coming. 244 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,500 You don't need to rev so hard when you're changing up. 245 00:18:35,533 --> 00:18:37,773 Shut up, Dad. 246 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,470 I wasn't expecting you back today. 247 00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:43,200 Came home early. That's OK, isn't it? 248 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:50,300 - So, how was she? - She was grand. I love her. 249 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:52,803 She smells of the '70s. 250 00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:55,673 Although I did back her into a post and broke a light. 251 00:18:58,733 --> 00:19:00,473 - I'm kidding! - Oh! 252 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:02,700 - You got me going... - Actually, I'm not kidding. 253 00:19:02,733 --> 00:19:05,503 I did break a light. Don't know why I said I didn't. 254 00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:07,773 I felt like you wanted me to say it, so I did. 255 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,670 So you have broke a light, or you haven't? 256 00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:13,470 I have. I'm sorry, one of the back ones. 257 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,770 I'm so sorry, I will get it fixed. 258 00:19:17,467 --> 00:19:20,027 Doesn't matter, it's only a car. 259 00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:22,697 No, please, don't be heartbroken. 260 00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:24,273 I thought you'd be angry. 261 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,130 I thought I'd be saying, "It's only a car." 262 00:19:26,167 --> 00:19:28,567 Yeah, it's just one more thing, really. 263 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,830 They say bad luck comes in eights. 264 00:19:30,867 --> 00:19:33,197 Did you not have a nice time without me? 265 00:19:33,233 --> 00:19:37,533 Unforeseen circumstances. I've messed up a bit, upset Toni. 266 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:40,597 - Oh, you're kidding? - My ex-wife Maggie showed up. 267 00:19:40,633 --> 00:19:42,633 That was your ex-wife? 268 00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:44,697 Oh, my God, I let her in the flat. 269 00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:47,373 No, I had to let her stay anyway, 270 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,330 cos she split up with her partner 271 00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,197 and she was pretty cut up. 272 00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:53,303 So I let her sleep in your room. 273 00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,533 - So you didn't even see Toni? - No. 274 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,570 I'm sure you could patch it up, 275 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,330 if she really means that much to you. 276 00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:05,597 Yeah, there's a Triumph specialist in Boughton, 277 00:20:05,633 --> 00:20:07,473 he's bound to have one in stock. 278 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,330 - I meant Toni. - Anyway, there's no rush, 279 00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:12,167 as long as I get to him this afternoon, 280 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,570 before he shuts at four. 281 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,600 Actually, you know, I better get on with it. 282 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:20,097 Oh, I was thinking about what you said yesterday, 283 00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:22,373 and I think I know where you might've seen me. 284 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,830 We did stop off in the afternoon 285 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:26,497 to survey another site, in Waldon. 286 00:21:28,067 --> 00:21:29,697 Yeah, I remember now. 287 00:21:29,733 --> 00:21:31,703 Those weren't sprayers you saw us with. 288 00:21:31,733 --> 00:21:35,073 It was surveying equipment, measuring sticks. 289 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:38,530 Oh, don't tell lies. Do you think I'm stupid? 290 00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:42,797 I know what I saw, and it wasn't you being an archaeologist, 291 00:21:42,833 --> 00:21:45,573 but an agency worker... 292 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,270 ..spraying weed killer on the hard shoulder. 293 00:21:49,367 --> 00:21:51,067 What's going on, Andy? 294 00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:54,700 It's just water. I didn't put the weed killer in. 295 00:21:54,733 --> 00:21:58,133 What is going on? 296 00:22:01,267 --> 00:22:02,767 I quit my job. 297 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,170 - Quit or lost? - Quit. It was a scam. 298 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,670 I did find a mosaic, and I'm sure there was more of it, 299 00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:11,370 but it was scraped away in the night 300 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,430 before I had a chance to find out. 301 00:22:13,467 --> 00:22:15,227 Because anything interesting found 302 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:17,727 would just delay construction of this office block. 303 00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:19,997 So then you quit for the right reasons. 304 00:22:20,767 --> 00:22:22,427 Thanks. 305 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:25,627 So what makes you think my daughter wouldn't understand? 306 00:22:25,667 --> 00:22:27,497 Well, because she wants to buy a flat, 307 00:22:27,533 --> 00:22:29,603 and she's worried about Stan's schooling. 308 00:22:29,633 --> 00:22:32,573 And...I think she'd rather I just bit my tongue for a while 309 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,100 until we can afford a home. 310 00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:37,233 I think you'll find that ethics and principles 311 00:22:37,267 --> 00:22:40,367 stand pretty high on my daughter's agenda. 312 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,230 Yeah, I know, I didn't mean... 313 00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:46,367 I'm just very aware that after all those years studying, 314 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,300 I'm not making much of a success of being an archaeologist. 315 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:52,803 Well, maybe you're not an archaeologist. 316 00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:55,733 Maybe you're more of a... hobbyist. 317 00:22:57,300 --> 00:22:59,370 You can't make any money from hobbies. 318 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,400 That's why they're hobbies. 319 00:23:01,433 --> 00:23:03,373 Maybe you're not a money-maker either. 320 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,170 What a guy. 321 00:23:06,733 --> 00:23:08,503 Sorry for lying. 322 00:23:19,167 --> 00:23:20,367 Ooh! 323 00:23:56,667 --> 00:23:59,327 What are you looking for? 324 00:23:59,367 --> 00:24:01,497 Oh, my God! You made me jump. 325 00:24:01,533 --> 00:24:03,203 What are you doing sitting there? 326 00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:04,303 This is my room. 327 00:24:04,333 --> 00:24:06,703 I thought you weren't coming back till tomorrow? 328 00:24:06,733 --> 00:24:08,633 Oh. 329 00:24:08,667 --> 00:24:12,227 I was just looking for Lance's... TV licence. 330 00:24:12,267 --> 00:24:14,397 Do you know where he keeps his TV licence? 331 00:24:14,433 --> 00:24:16,103 - It's not in there. - Is it not? 332 00:24:16,133 --> 00:24:17,573 No. 333 00:24:19,533 --> 00:24:21,703 - You angry? - I'm a little bit angry, yeah. 334 00:24:21,733 --> 00:24:25,403 Oh, don't be silly. Come and have a cup of tea. 335 00:24:26,467 --> 00:24:27,797 God, you made me jump! 336 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,300 Did you have a nice time? 337 00:24:30,333 --> 00:24:32,103 I can't believe he lent you his car. 338 00:24:32,133 --> 00:24:34,133 He never used to let me go near that thing, 339 00:24:34,167 --> 00:24:36,727 not to drive it anyway. 340 00:24:36,767 --> 00:24:40,227 Oh, I always hated getting in and out of that car. 341 00:24:40,267 --> 00:24:43,097 I could never do it without flashing my knickers. 342 00:24:43,133 --> 00:24:44,603 How long are you staying for? 343 00:24:44,633 --> 00:24:46,603 Not long. Just until I sort myself out. 344 00:24:46,633 --> 00:24:48,673 You do know he's got a girlfriend, don't you? 345 00:24:48,700 --> 00:24:51,330 Yeah, I met the current. 346 00:24:51,367 --> 00:24:53,197 She's a funny little thing, isn't she? 347 00:24:53,233 --> 00:24:55,573 What are you doing here, Maggie? 348 00:24:55,600 --> 00:25:00,070 Oh, dear. Are you a little bit jealous? Yeah? 349 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,400 Have I upset your cushy little number? 350 00:25:02,433 --> 00:25:05,203 Cos you must have it pretty easy here, I suppose, have you? 351 00:25:05,233 --> 00:25:06,773 Treat the place like your own? 352 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,500 Cos it was a right shit-hole when I arrived. 353 00:25:09,533 --> 00:25:12,503 - What are you after? - I'm not after anything, love. 354 00:25:12,533 --> 00:25:15,273 You're the one taking the piss. 355 00:25:15,300 --> 00:25:18,200 I don't suppose Lance has ever told you about us, has he? 356 00:25:18,233 --> 00:25:20,303 Yeah, he told me you left him for an arsehole. 357 00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:22,703 - Did he call him an arsehole? - I think he did, yeah. 358 00:25:22,733 --> 00:25:24,203 That's rude. 359 00:25:24,233 --> 00:25:26,533 So what is it I need to know about you and my dad? 360 00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:28,697 That we still have a deep connection 361 00:25:28,733 --> 00:25:30,833 and we'll always be there for one another. 362 00:25:30,867 --> 00:25:32,667 Mm, he hadn't mentioned that, no. 363 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:34,230 We have a spiritual bond 364 00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:37,227 forged at a pagan ceremony at Avebury standing stones. 365 00:25:37,267 --> 00:25:39,127 He kept that one to himself, too. 366 00:25:39,167 --> 00:25:43,427 I know what Lance wants, I know what Lance needs. 367 00:26:01,233 --> 00:26:05,333 Oi! Lollipop! Message from the Arsehole. 368 00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:12,697 I reckon about ten minutes, 15... 369 00:26:12,733 --> 00:26:16,303 for you to get your spells and your potions out of my room 370 00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:19,173 and your bony arse out of my dad's life. 371 00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:30,170 - Bony arse? - Mm, yeah, apparently. 372 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,470 That's from Working Girl. 373 00:26:32,500 --> 00:26:37,130 That's what I said, Melanie Griffiths. 374 00:26:37,167 --> 00:26:38,797 What did the text say? 375 00:26:38,833 --> 00:26:41,673 Well, she wouldn't tell me, only that it was him, you know, 376 00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:43,530 Pizza Hut manager. 377 00:26:43,567 --> 00:26:46,727 - She's gone now, Maggie? - Yeah, again. 378 00:26:49,133 --> 00:26:51,103 Just gotta patch things up with Toni. 379 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:56,230 Connect 4? Did you bring games? 380 00:26:58,133 --> 00:26:59,573 While away the hours. 381 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:09,833 - Where'd you get the KerPlunk? - A charity shop. 382 00:27:09,867 --> 00:27:13,027 Yeah. You know, there isn't a single charity shop 383 00:27:13,067 --> 00:27:15,727 that doesn't have a KerPlunk. 384 00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:18,427 Yeah, you should check it out. They can't shift them. 385 00:27:18,467 --> 00:27:20,527 There's a Sue Ryder in Colchester 386 00:27:20,567 --> 00:27:25,367 that has a sign in the window, "No KerPlunks, thank you." 387 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,130 Cos it takes too long to put the sticks back in. 388 00:27:30,233 --> 00:27:34,303 If you take the time, the rewards are obvious. 389 00:27:38,667 --> 00:27:42,267 Of course, it should really be on a level playing surface. 390 00:27:44,167 --> 00:27:46,097 Your go. 391 00:27:50,133 --> 00:27:51,733 Balls.