1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:02,670
[ Birds chirping ]

2
00:00:11,870 --> 00:00:13,830
Describe it to me again.

3
00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:15,700
It´s the, um, you know --

4
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:17,070
It´s the big, chunky chain

5
00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:19,170
that the mayor wears
on special occasions.

6
00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,430
It lets everyone know
he´s the mayor.

7
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,800
-And this is where he lost it?
-So he says.

8
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,400
Why would he wear it here?

9
00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,630
Your guess is as good as mine.

10
00:00:28,630 --> 00:00:31,300
It´s probably best not to think
too much about it.

11
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,800
[ Mid-tempo folk music plays ]

12
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,400
[ Indistinct talking ]

13
00:01:24,370 --> 00:01:27,270
Do you think that´s what
the mayor was doing?

14
00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:28,870
Which one?

15
00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:33,170
That one.

16
00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:34,670
Possibly.

17
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:39,800
Maybe not exactly that,
but certainly along those lines.

18
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,970
Do you think he was wearing
his chain when he was doing it?

19
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,500
I suppose so.

20
00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:47,070
What for?

21
00:01:47,070 --> 00:01:49,200
Probably gives him
a sense of power.

22
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,170
[ Man grunting softly ]

23
00:01:51,170 --> 00:01:53,100
[ Vehicle doors closing ]

24
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:55,700
-Can we go home now?
-Yeah.

25
00:01:56,770 --> 00:01:59,900
Don´t want to stick around here
any longer than we have to.

26
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,270
[ Vehicle door opens ]

27
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,830
[ Woman laughs ]

28
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:11,770
She´s gonna catch her death.

29
00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:14,000
[ "Detectorists" plays ]

30
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:25,500
♫ Will you search through
the lonely earth for me ♫

31
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:30,170
♫ Climb through
the briar and bramble? ♫

32
00:02:30,170 --> 00:02:35,230
♫ I´ll be your treasure ♫

33
00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:39,630
♫ I´m waiting for you ♫

34
00:02:39,670 --> 00:02:43,200
♫ I´m waiting for you ♫

35
00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,070
[ Spritzes ]

36
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,270
Oh, Lance, hello.

37
00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:20,200
Sophie.

38
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,630
[ Sniffs ] Hello.

39
00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:23,870
-What are you up to?
-I was just, uh...

40
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,770
Oh, I was just, um...

41
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,630
...picking up a few things.

42
00:03:28,630 --> 00:03:30,000
Nice flowers.

43
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:33,500
Yeah, yeah.
Brighten the place up a bit.

44
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,270
What kind of --

45
00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:36,370
Freesias, I think.

46
00:03:36,370 --> 00:03:38,300
And chocolates?

47
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,670
Yeah.
Give myself a little treat.

48
00:03:41,670 --> 00:03:43,100
Why not?

49
00:03:43,100 --> 00:03:45,170
Exactly.
[ Chuckles ]

50
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:48,300
[ Sniffing ]

51
00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:50,100
Can you smell
the early ´90s?

52
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,170
No.

53
00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:57,100
Anyway, good to see you.

54
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,100
Yeah, you too.

55
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:01,800
Enjoy the chocolates.

56
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:04,830
Sorry?

57
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:06,300
Chocolates?

58
00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:10,770
Yeah. Yeah.

59
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,070
[ Vibrating ]

60
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:26,200
BECKY:
Your phone´s ringing.

61
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,770
It´s Sophie.

62
00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:30,800
ANDY: Can you answer it?
I´m up to my elbows.

63
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,200
Hi, Sophie.
It´s Becky.

64
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,630
Yes, he´s changing a nappy.

65
00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:36,870
All right.

66
00:04:38,630 --> 00:04:39,970
Hang on.

67
00:04:39,970 --> 00:04:42,070
Sophie´s just bumped into Lance,

68
00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:44,500
and she thinks
something´s about to go down.

69
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,670
-ANDY: Like what?
-Like what?

70
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:50,900
She saw him in the supermarket

71
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,200
buying all
the materials required

72
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,630
to make a romantic evening.

73
00:04:55,630 --> 00:04:57,630
Oh, God, he must have got the
instructions off the Internet.

74
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,370
I got to wash my hands.
What was he buying?

75
00:04:59,430 --> 00:05:02,300
What was he buying?

76
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,370
Flowers, chocolates, aftershave.

77
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,970
ANDY: What kind?

78
00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:08,370
Freesias, Ferrero Rocher,
Fahrenheit.

79
00:05:08,370 --> 00:05:09,830
Christ.

80
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:11,170
Hello?

81
00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:13,630
You still got the suspect
in your sights?

82
00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:16,270
All right, follow at a discreet
distance and report back.

83
00:05:16,270 --> 00:05:19,770
Oh, and Sophie?
Be safe.

84
00:05:19,770 --> 00:05:21,630
You are a bunch of kids.

85
00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:22,800
We´re just concerned about him.

86
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,230
We don´t want him
to make a fool of himself.

87
00:05:24,230 --> 00:05:27,430
Mm, because you´re an expert
in that field?

88
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:28,630
[ Chuckles ]

89
00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:31,430
Listen, tomorrow night,
shall we go out?

90
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:32,400
Just the two of us.

91
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,100
Yeah, okay.
What´s brought this on?

92
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,770
Nothing´s brought this on.

93
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,630
I´m only suggesting
going to a restaurant.

94
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:40,000
Cool.
Who´ll babysit?

95
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,000
-Well, let´s face it.
-Your mum.

96
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:42,800
She´s free.

97
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,630
Course she is.
She doesn´t have any friends.

98
00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:46,630
I meant
she doesn´t cost anything.

99
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:48,900
Oh, yeah, sorry.

100
00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:50,830
She is his grandmother.

101
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:53,200
I just wish we didn´t have to
rely on her so much.

102
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:57,400
Well, I think I´ve got a plan
to deal with her.

103
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,830
Murder? Really?
Okay.

104
00:05:59,830 --> 00:06:01,170
Not murder.

105
00:06:01,170 --> 00:06:02,970
I know someone.
I can make a phone call.

106
00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:05,470
Not murder.

107
00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:07,230
[ Birds chirping ]

108
00:06:24,370 --> 00:06:26,030
[ Flies buzzing ]

109
00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:53,270
WOMAN:
Oh, look, it´s Forrest Gump.

110
00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:55,470
-MAN: Oh, yeah.
-WOMAN: [ Laughs ]

111
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:21,830
Hello.

112
00:07:21,830 --> 00:07:23,770
Uh, we were
just looking for something.

113
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:25,670
Yeah, I-I --
I lost something.

114
00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:27,170
Don´t think we´ll ever find it.
Do you?

115
00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:28,870
No, no, I don´t.

116
00:07:28,870 --> 00:07:31,630
-Was it valuable?
-What?

117
00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:33,000
The thing you lost.

118
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,630
N-No.
V-Very cheap.

119
00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:36,070
SOPHIE: Oh, well,
we should just call it a day.

120
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:37,870
I think we´re just gonna
call it a day.

121
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,670
Who was that?

122
00:07:45,670 --> 00:07:48,770
Uh, I don´t know.
But they were spying on you.

123
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,630
Oh. Hello.

124
00:07:52,630 --> 00:07:54,770
Hello.

125
00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:55,700
How are you?

126
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,770
Yeah, not bad.
Good.

127
00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:58,630
Yourself?

128
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:02,070
Good.

129
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,970
-Should we...
-Yeah, okay.

130
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,370
RUSSELL:
It´s quite reasonable.

131
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,470
TERRY:
No, i-it´s horrible.

132
00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:32,300
RUSSELL: It´s not horrible.
It can be -- Imagine --

133
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,670
TERRY:
It looks like a white hearse.

134
00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:36,370
[ Indistinct conversation ]

135
00:08:36,370 --> 00:08:38,630
About 22, 23.
Blond.

136
00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:40,270
Yeah, that´s her.
Did he see you?

137
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,470
No, but she did.
I´m shit at spying.

138
00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:44,170
Well, that´s already
been established.

139
00:08:44,170 --> 00:08:46,070
But he dumped the chocolates
and the flowers?

140
00:08:46,070 --> 00:08:50,200
Yep. But the smell of aftershave
was very much still in the air.

141
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,170
It´s amazing, isn´t it?

142
00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:56,100
All the information
at our fingertips these days.

143
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,630
Oh, it certainly is, Sheila.

144
00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:01,770
The things Terry gets up to
on his computer.

145
00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:05,430
Do you know where he sent
an e-mail last week?

146
00:09:05,430 --> 00:09:06,230
Where?

147
00:09:06,230 --> 00:09:07,870
New Zealand.

148
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:08,930
Yeah?

149
00:09:08,930 --> 00:09:10,230
Terry!

150
00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:12,730
Please, Terry.
Hugh´s cousin´s a mechanic.

151
00:09:12,730 --> 00:09:14,170
-No.
-Oh...

152
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:18,700
Terry, tell them where you sent
an e-mail last week.

153
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:19,700
New Zealand.

154
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:20,900
Told you.

155
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,230
Yeah.
Easy, really.

156
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:23,430
Just a click of a button.

157
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:26,370
Friends that we met in
the Peak District on holiday.

158
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:28,570
Rory and Simone.

159
00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:31,230
-And have you heard back?
-Not yet.

160
00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:35,170
So let us show you
what we´ve turned up.

161
00:09:36,730 --> 00:09:38,570
[ Door creaks ]

162
00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:41,700
Sorry I´m late.

163
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:45,730
Had to, uh, do something.

164
00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:48,470
You smell nice.

165
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:50,370
Okay, so we´re pretty sure

166
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:53,100
that this is the same view
of the round tower

167
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:56,130
because of this window here,

168
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:58,630
and the photograph would have
been taken ´round about here,

169
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,070
looking in this direction,

170
00:10:00,070 --> 00:10:01,870
pretty much where we parked
the cars the other day.

171
00:10:01,870 --> 00:10:04,370
Well, that´s just farm. That´s
actually on our permission.

172
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:05,470
We haven´t got
to that field yet,

173
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:06,670
but it´s definitely
on the same farm.

174
00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:10,870
No.
No, you´re in the wrong place.

175
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:12,870
No, we´re not.
What do you mean?

176
00:10:12,870 --> 00:10:14,300
No, you´re on the wrong side
of the church.

177
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:15,630
How do you know?

178
00:10:15,630 --> 00:10:17,370
Well, look at the motorbike.

179
00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,970
Numbers on the plate,
back to front.

180
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:22,430
Image has been reversed.

181
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:25,800
Good God, you´re right.

182
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,100
Huh.

183
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,500
LANCE: Window should be
on the other side of the tower.

184
00:10:29,500 --> 00:10:30,970
Need to be here.

185
00:10:30,970 --> 00:10:33,830
Unfortunately
we don´t have permission

186
00:10:33,830 --> 00:10:35,070
to detect in that field.

187
00:10:35,070 --> 00:10:37,170
-TERRY: Oh, dear.
-What?

188
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,870
Russell, did you
ever get a chance

189
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:42,470
to, uh, look for
the mayor´s chain of office?

190
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:44,400
We tried,
but we couldn´t stomach it.

191
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,670
It´s horrible up there.

192
00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:47,900
Well, I think you´re gonna have
to find the courage to go back,

193
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,230
because unless
I´m very much mistaken,

194
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:54,000
this land belongs to none other
than the mayor himself.

195
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:59,030
So, Russell, Hugh, your mission
is to find the chain,

196
00:10:59,030 --> 00:11:03,070
return it, and in lieu of
the aforepromised donation,

197
00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:04,700
see if you can
persuade the mayor

198
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,300
to let us detect on his farm.

199
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,270
Do we have to?
It is putrid up there.

200
00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:10,800
Hugh saw some things up there

201
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,000
that such young eyes
should never have to witness.

202
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,500
He hasn´t spoken about it since.

203
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,500
Oh, come on, man up, Russell.

204
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:17,500
You go!

205
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,070
Wouldn´t be seen dead
in those woods.

206
00:11:19,070 --> 00:11:22,630
Exactly! At least not until
you were properly decomposed.

207
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:23,470
Russ!

208
00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:24,700
I wouldn´t be surprised

209
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,430
if both Hugh and me
have caught an infection.

210
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:29,300
Well, wear protective clothing.

211
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,230
Come on, chaps.
Steel yourselves!

212
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:33,500
This one´s for the club.

213
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:37,670
I mean, you could even
pop ´round there now.

214
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,630
We´ll go in the morning.

215
00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:42,700
Oh.

216
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:49,630
What, where are all the cars go
and park up after dark,

217
00:11:49,630 --> 00:11:50,500
and they go...

218
00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:53,070
Exactly.

219
00:11:53,070 --> 00:11:55,270
Well, what was
the mayor doing up there

220
00:11:55,270 --> 00:11:56,400
in his chains of office?

221
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,730
Well, maybe that´s how
he gets his kicks.

222
00:11:58,730 --> 00:12:01,030
Takes all sorts.

223
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:02,470
Terry likes to wear his --

224
00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:05,500
TERRY: Lance doesn´t need to --
Nobody needs to...

225
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,270
Ah, here we are!
[ Laughs ]

226
00:12:07,270 --> 00:12:08,670
I´ll pay for these.
[ Clears throat ]

227
00:12:08,670 --> 00:12:10,970
Now, so we got a J.D. and C,

228
00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,200
G and slimline T,

229
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,170
three pints of numbers,
and a Dubonnet and lemonade.

230
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:18,800
-How much is that?
-MAN: £24.50.

231
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,770
TERRY: You can keep that.
Cheers.

232
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,030
So, Sheila, do you get
out there in the fields

233
00:12:25,030 --> 00:12:26,170
with a metal detector?

234
00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:28,030
Oh, gosh, no, Peter.

235
00:12:28,030 --> 00:12:31,170
I couldn´t think of anything
more tedious.

236
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,300
Even so, you have
a great percentage

237
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:37,470
of female club members.

238
00:12:37,470 --> 00:12:40,630
Well, I should say we´ve
probably got above average.

239
00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:43,770
And we also got
two lesbians and an Asian.

240
00:12:43,770 --> 00:12:45,500
Very proud.

241
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,070
Louise and Varde
are also women, Terry.

242
00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:50,100
They´re not just lesbians.

243
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,370
Yeah, but you know what I mean.

244
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:52,900
We´ve got
all the minorities covered.

245
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:55,270
Are women a minority?

246
00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:57,430
Well, you know what I mean.

247
00:12:57,430 --> 00:12:59,800
I don´t know if we do,
Terry.

248
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:04,430
Oh, God, it´s a minefield.
I´m just gonna shut up.

249
00:13:04,430 --> 00:13:06,370
Hey, look, it´s these guys.

250
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,900
SOPHIE: Oh, shit.

251
00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:12,070
Ah.
Evening, ladies.

252
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:14,900
Ha.
Yes, your catchphrase.

253
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,230
It´s really good.
It´s very amusing.

254
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:18,870
Here they are --
the Dirt Sharks.

255
00:13:18,870 --> 00:13:20,670
-The what?
-You heard me.

256
00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:22,300
Yes, we have re-formed.

257
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:24,900
We are now known
as the Dirt Sharks.

258
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,000
Yuck.

259
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,230
Don´t know why everyone has
such a problem with that name.

260
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:32,770
It was unanimously chosen from
a very attractive short list.

261
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,630
Mm.
What were some of the others?

262
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:35,870
Dirt Surfers.

263
00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:36,770
[ Laughter ]

264
00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:40,900
It´s Peter, isn´t it?

265
00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,400
That´s right.

266
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:46,470
We wondered if we might have a
word with you about your quest.

267
00:13:46,470 --> 00:13:47,770
Plane crash?

268
00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:50,170
-Certainly.
-In private, please.

269
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:55,700
These guys are all helping
to find the plane.

270
00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:57,700
Any information you have
is very welcome,

271
00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,600
and we´d all like to hear.

272
00:14:01,030 --> 00:14:03,100
You do realize that you will
have to have a license

273
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,970
from the Ministry of Defence
to dig the site,

274
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,430
even if you do find it,
don´t you?

275
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,670
It´s all in hand.
Thank you.

276
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:12,100
And you´ll have to have
a finds liaison officer present

277
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:14,370
to record any items of value.

278
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:17,170
Well, we´re not expecting
to find any items of value.

279
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:18,800
-Oh, aren´t you?
-No.

280
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,100
What are you getting at?

281
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:24,300
According to the Protection
of Military Remains Act 1986,

282
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:25,970
any crash site
suspected of having --

283
00:14:25,970 --> 00:14:27,670
Everything is done
by the book.

284
00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:28,800
You don´t need to worry.

285
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,370
Thank you for your help.

286
00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:33,500
Good night.

287
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,870
Night.

288
00:14:39,070 --> 00:14:40,830
[ Coughing ] Wankers.

289
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:43,270
Those two
give me the willies.

290
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:44,400
Rival club?

291
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,170
Sophie used to spy for them.

292
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:48,070
Really?
You didn´t tell me about that.

293
00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:50,000
Yes, and they won´t let me
forget it.

294
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,200
Their methods are unsound.

295
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,800
Nighthawks.

296
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,270
You were a nighthawk?

297
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:58,730
No, I was duped.

298
00:14:58,730 --> 00:15:00,700
We rescued her
from the dark side.

299
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,270
That´s hilarious.

300
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:04,630
I knew there was something
I didn´t trust about you.

301
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:07,230
Shut up.

302
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,830
They´re getting on well.

303
00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:11,700
What, Sophie and Peter?
That´ll never work.

304
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:13,200
Why not?

305
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,800
He´s too old for her.

306
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,070
Is he?

307
00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:18,900
ANDY: I don´t know. What´s a
reasonable age difference?

308
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,700
Well, sometimes 10 years.

309
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,170
What about 20?

310
00:15:23,170 --> 00:15:24,430
But he´s not
20 years older than her.

311
00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:27,300
No, no.
But would 20 be too much?

312
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,500
Yeah, probably.
What are you talking about?

313
00:15:30,670 --> 00:15:32,070
Nothing.

314
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,270
You walking home?

315
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:44,230
Um, Peter´s giving me a lift.

316
00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:45,830
You only live down the road.

317
00:15:45,830 --> 00:15:47,630
Y-Yeah.

318
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:52,630
Oh, it --
Yeah, no, I-I know, yeah.

319
00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:53,630
See you later, then.

320
00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:56,370
-Yeah, see ya.
-Bye, Andy.

321
00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:00,500
[ Vehicle doors close ]

322
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,800
[ Engine starts ]

323
00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:23,970
[ Sighs ]

324
00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:26,200
Better get this
over and done with.

325
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,400
[ Mid-tempo folk music plays ]

326
00:17:14,830 --> 00:17:16,000
[ Metal detector beeping ]

327
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:19,230
Russ?

328
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,470
Ugh!

329
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:28,370
What is it?

330
00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:31,270
Look.

331
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,170
Oh, yeah.

332
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:35,830
I´ve seen a few of those
scattered about.

333
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:38,400
All different colors.

334
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,470
Has that one been used?

335
00:17:41,430 --> 00:17:44,630
It looks like it.
It´s got a knot in it.

336
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,230
Oh, yeah.

337
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,670
Well, I´m not touching it.

338
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:51,200
Neither am I.

339
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:56,230
Flick it off with a stick.

340
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:07,800
Can you get me a stick?

341
00:18:15,270 --> 00:18:17,400
It was in his hair.

342
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,070
Seriously, it came out
with such force,

343
00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:21,630
it shot out the back
of his nappy,

344
00:18:21,630 --> 00:18:24,670
up his back, and it was
all matted in his hair.

345
00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:27,630
Had to tease it out
with a comb.

346
00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:30,970
Is this really
an after-dinner story?

347
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:33,000
I´ve just had
sticky toffee pudding.

348
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,000
Do you want another drink?

349
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,300
Uh, maybe.

350
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:43,230
Let´s have another drink.

351
00:18:43,230 --> 00:18:45,430
Do you remember what we used to
talk about before Stan?

352
00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:46,700
[ Chuckles ]

353
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,800
You mean we didn´t used to
talk about poo all the time?

354
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,170
[ Chuckles ] Hardly ever.

355
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:55,630
We used to talk about the future
and what we wanted to do.

356
00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:58,070
About our hopes and dreams.

357
00:18:59,770 --> 00:19:02,270
Can I tell you what Gay Martin
said about VSO?

358
00:19:02,270 --> 00:19:03,070
Uh...

359
00:19:03,070 --> 00:19:06,270
Please, Andy, don´t just
close your mind to this.

360
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,930
And don´t just clam up.

361
00:19:07,930 --> 00:19:10,370
If you are really against this,
I need to know why.

362
00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:12,700
I´ve told you.
I think Stan´s too young.

363
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:15,530
How can we look after a
three-month-old baby in Africa?

364
00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,230
-Africans manage it.
-You know what I mean.

365
00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:20,930
I´m so scared, Andy, that now
we´ve had a baby, that´s it,

366
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:23,730
we´re never gonna do anything
brave or exciting ever again

367
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:26,970
because we´re too nervous
about changing anything.

368
00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:30,530
I don´t get to see
enough of Stan.

369
00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:37,270
If we don´t do this now,
we might never do it.

370
00:19:37,270 --> 00:19:40,770
We need to be brave,
both of us.

371
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:44,270
We both need to say,
"Fuck it, let´s do this."

372
00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:47,770
-Yeah.
-Yeah?

373
00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:51,330
Something to finish off?

374
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:54,030
Yes, please. I´d like
a Scotch, double, no ice.

375
00:19:54,030 --> 00:19:54,700
Sir?

376
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:57,700
Um, just a decaffeinated coffee,
please.

377
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,630
Quite weak.

378
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,270
Plenty of milk, but cold milk
so it´s not too hot.

379
00:20:01,270 --> 00:20:02,230
Just tepid.

380
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,970
Would you like a marshmallow
with it?

381
00:20:05,970 --> 00:20:07,470
Oh, yes, please.

382
00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:13,630
Let me show you what I found.

383
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,500
Toutswemogala Hill in Botswana.

384
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:27,670
They´ve been excavating
an Iron Age civilization there

385
00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:29,100
for the past five years.

386
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,230
They´ve just received funding
for a further year,

387
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,670
and they´re recruiting
new graduates

388
00:20:32,670 --> 00:20:34,630
as field archaeologists.

389
00:20:34,630 --> 00:20:36,200
And look.

390
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,370
The nearest town
is 50 kilometers away,

391
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:41,200
so they´ve begun building
a village

392
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,400
close to the excavation site
for the workers.

393
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,400
And they´ve set up a school
for the children,

394
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,630
and the school
needs volunteers.

395
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:50,300
Well?

396
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,300
Yeah, it´s -- I don´t know.

397
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:57,170
Look at it, Andy.
It´s almost too good to be true.

398
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:58,500
Who´d look after Stan?

399
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:00,630
We would.
Both of us.

400
00:21:00,630 --> 00:21:02,800
Be difficult
without your mum about.

401
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,700
You always moan
when he goes to my mum´s.

402
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:05,630
She helps a lot.

403
00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:07,430
Oh, you are
such a hypocrite.

404
00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:09,630
It´s -- It´s not just that.

405
00:21:09,630 --> 00:21:11,300
I mean, wouldn´t we be mad
to risk it

406
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,270
while you´ve got a job
and a steady income?

407
00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:16,400
It´s the only security
we´ve got.

408
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,670
I gave in my notice.

409
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:20,200
What? When?

410
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:25,070
When I went back to work, I gave
in my notice at the same time.

411
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:29,770
I told them I was only gonna
be there for one more term.

412
00:21:29,770 --> 00:21:31,400
When were you gonna tell me?

413
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:36,630
I -- I didn´t want to put
pressure on you finding a job.

414
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,470
I was gonna tell you
as soon as you got work.

415
00:21:38,470 --> 00:21:40,470
But the weeks and months
are passing by,

416
00:21:40,470 --> 00:21:42,470
and you´re still signing on.

417
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:48,030
Oh, no, wait.
Oh, we´re too late.

418
00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,630
Applications closed yesterday.

419
00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:54,030
I know.
I´ve already applied for you.

420
00:21:54,030 --> 00:21:56,230
You´ve got an interview
on Tuesday.

421
00:21:56,230 --> 00:21:58,000
Jeez.
Any more revelations?

422
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,100
Just go along
and do the interview.

423
00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:01,470
It´ll be good practice.

424
00:22:01,470 --> 00:22:05,500
And -- And if you don´t get it,
nothing lost.

425
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:06,970
And if I do?

426
00:22:06,970 --> 00:22:09,030
Then we´ll discuss it
some more.

427
00:22:09,030 --> 00:22:11,700
Please.

428
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:13,800
Please be brave.

429
00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:18,970
Madame, double scotch, no ice.

430
00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:19,900
Thank you.

431
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:21,000
And for you, sir,

432
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:28,400
weak, mild, tepid, sweet,
decaffeinated coffee.

433
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,270
-Enjoy.
-Thank you.

434
00:22:36,070 --> 00:22:38,470
What, you don´t think
I should have the marshmallow?

435
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,100
You think it´ll keep me awake?

436
00:22:59,030 --> 00:23:01,070
LANCE:
Africa Botswana?

437
00:23:01,070 --> 00:23:03,700
ANDY:
No, Botswana-upon-Thames.

438
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,630
LANCE:
Bloody hell.

439
00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:08,230
ANDY:
Ridiculous, right?

440
00:23:08,230 --> 00:23:10,630
You can´t take a baby
to Botswana.

441
00:23:10,630 --> 00:23:12,770
-LANCE: How long for?
-A year.

442
00:23:12,770 --> 00:23:14,300
It´s completely the wrong time.

443
00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:16,400
We need to wait
until Stanley´s older.

444
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,870
Sounds brilliant.

445
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:21,200
What?
Not you as well.

446
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,830
Well, sounds right up
your strasse.

447
00:23:23,830 --> 00:23:26,270
Brushing the dirt
with little brushes.

448
00:23:26,270 --> 00:23:28,830
Why wouldn´t you want to go
for that?

449
00:23:28,830 --> 00:23:31,500
You can´t wait
to get rid of me.

450
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:33,470
Who would
you go detecting with?

451
00:23:33,470 --> 00:23:35,900
Oh, don´t worry about me.

452
00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:38,630
Anyway, I might not have
quite so much time

453
00:23:38,630 --> 00:23:41,500
to go detecting from now on.

454
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,300
Why´s that?

455
00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:47,870
Oh, nothing.
You know, just things.

456
00:23:47,870 --> 00:23:50,170
Other things going on.

457
00:23:51,370 --> 00:23:53,030
Other people.

458
00:23:53,030 --> 00:23:54,800
[ Slow folk music plays ]

459
00:24:30,170 --> 00:24:33,300
Here.
You remember old Mick Wiffin?

460
00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,000
[ Laughs ]

461
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,400
He used to wear period costumes
when he was detecting.

462
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:38,800
That´s it.

463
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:43,070
Swore he found more from the era
of the clothes he was wearing.

464
00:24:43,070 --> 00:24:48,970
Frock coat and periwig, he´d
find Georgian buckles and coins.

465
00:24:48,970 --> 00:24:51,400
Pops on a toga -- Roman stuff.

466
00:24:52,870 --> 00:24:54,170
You didn´t want to see him

467
00:24:54,170 --> 00:24:56,770
when he was searching for
prehistoric artifacts, though.

468
00:24:56,770 --> 00:24:58,970
Tiny strip of rabbit fur.

469
00:24:58,970 --> 00:25:02,230
-And he was a big bloke.
-[ Chuckles ]

470
00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:03,970
You see "Celebrity Mastermind"?

471
00:25:03,970 --> 00:25:06,300
Yeah, general-knowledge
questions were a joke.

472
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:09,170
Oh.
I didn´t. I was out.

473
00:25:09,170 --> 00:25:10,700
Like children´s questions.

474
00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:13,630
Didn´t see it.
Went out with someone.

475
00:25:13,630 --> 00:25:15,430
General-knowledge questions
on normal "Mastermind"

476
00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:16,870
are well difficult.

477
00:25:16,870 --> 00:25:18,170
Nobody you´d know.

478
00:25:18,170 --> 00:25:20,700
Why do celebrities
get easier questions?

479
00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:23,100
Mm?

480
00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:25,700
Oh, for Christ´s sake, mate, I
know you´ve been seeing someone.

481
00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:28,230
-I saw you, and Sophie saw you.
-When?

482
00:25:28,230 --> 00:25:30,630
In a café when you said you were
gonna be at the DIY shop,

483
00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:32,400
and in the park.

484
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:33,400
So you´ve seen her?

485
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,070
Yes, mate. So stop being
so fucking mysterious.

486
00:25:36,070 --> 00:25:37,670
She´s beautiful, isn´t she?

487
00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:41,000
I haven´t seen her close up.
I don´t know. Is she?

488
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,700
Yeah.

489
00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:43,900
What´s her name?

490
00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:45,830
Kate.

491
00:25:45,830 --> 00:25:47,500
How many times
have you seen her?

492
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:50,170
Three times.

493
00:25:50,170 --> 00:25:51,800
And how old is she?

494
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,100
22.

495
00:25:57,230 --> 00:25:58,030
What?

496
00:25:58,030 --> 00:26:00,200
What do you mean, "What?"
You know what.

497
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,100
Isn´t she a bit young for you?

498
00:26:02,100 --> 00:26:03,630
Nope.

499
00:26:03,630 --> 00:26:06,000
She´s exactly the right age.

500
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,500
Aah! Stop speaking in riddles!
Tell me what´s going on!

501
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:12,630
-She´s my daughter!
-Right! Thank you!

502
00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:20,170
-She´s --
-Dah, dah, dah!

503
00:26:20,170 --> 00:26:24,030
I just need to process.

504
00:26:24,030 --> 00:26:26,630
-Your daughter?
-Yeah.

505
00:26:26,630 --> 00:26:27,900
That you knew about?

506
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:29,200
Yes.

507
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,400
And that
you didn´t tell me about?

508
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,000
Why should I have done?

509
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,470
No reason.
It´s just a little thing.

510
00:26:35,470 --> 00:26:37,030
I only met her last week.

511
00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:40,470
[ Sighs ]
She looks just like her mother.

512
00:26:40,470 --> 00:26:42,170
Well, who´s her mother?

513
00:26:42,170 --> 00:26:44,830
I only knew her
a couple of months.

514
00:26:46,630 --> 00:26:50,630
She was about the age
Kate is now.

515
00:26:50,630 --> 00:26:53,430
I fell for her
hook, line, and sinker.

516
00:26:54,430 --> 00:26:56,070
Summer fling.

517
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,370
Met a girl,
spent the summer with her.

518
00:27:00,430 --> 00:27:03,000
Tell me more, tell me more.
Was it love at first sight?

519
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,500
Mate.
I´m trying to open up here.

520
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:08,470
-Sorry.
-Anyway...

521
00:27:08,470 --> 00:27:13,470
Come the end of the summer,
she found out she was pregnant.

522
00:27:13,470 --> 00:27:16,770
Furious.
Sawed my bed in half.

523
00:27:16,770 --> 00:27:18,030
Sawed it in half?

524
00:27:18,030 --> 00:27:19,270
Chainsaw.

525
00:27:23,370 --> 00:27:24,370
Lengthways?

526
00:27:24,370 --> 00:27:25,500
Across.

527
00:27:27,230 --> 00:27:31,170
Disappeared back to Ireland.
I never saw her again.

528
00:27:31,170 --> 00:27:32,630
And, what, Kate found you?

529
00:27:32,630 --> 00:27:36,700
Yeah.
She e-mailed me last month.

530
00:27:36,700 --> 00:27:39,830
I always hoped she would.

531
00:27:39,830 --> 00:27:44,400
Mate, it´s a brave new world.

532
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,770
It´s time to confront
past mistakes.

533
00:27:46,770 --> 00:27:50,230
And I think
you should take that job.

534
00:27:58,570 --> 00:28:00,870
So did the council
come and pick that up, then?

535
00:28:00,870 --> 00:28:01,830
The bed.

536
00:28:01,830 --> 00:28:04,430
I dismantled it in the end.

537
00:28:04,430 --> 00:28:05,800
Take it up the dump.

538
00:28:09,170 --> 00:28:11,070
Took three trips.

539
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,500
[ "Detectorists" plays ]