1 00:00:02,367 --> 00:00:04,000 (Cheeps) 2 00:00:17,067 --> 00:00:19,233 What's this? Metal detecting, are you? 3 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,133 - Pardon? - Metal detecting? 4 00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:28,600 - That's right. - Found anything? 5 00:00:28,633 --> 00:00:30,633 Er...bits and bobs. 6 00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:32,733 Good luck. Maybe you'll strike gold. 7 00:00:32,767 --> 00:00:34,700 Yes! See ya. 8 00:00:44,433 --> 00:00:45,433 Hello. 9 00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:49,633 Looking for treasure? 10 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:52,267 - Something like that. - What have you found? 11 00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:54,300 - Bits and pieces. - No gold? 12 00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:57,433 - Nope. - Fingers crossed. 13 00:00:57,467 --> 00:00:59,400 Yeah. See ya. 14 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,433 - All right? - This is a problem. 15 00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:08,033 It's a public footpath. Bloody ramblers coming by 16 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,800 asking the same questions all the time. 17 00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,233 Here come some more. 18 00:01:12,633 --> 00:01:14,533 Ah, metal detectors. 19 00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:17,467 We had a metal detector once, didn't we, Rosemary? 20 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,133 That's still in the garage. 21 00:01:19,167 --> 00:01:21,500 Is that so? 22 00:01:21,533 --> 00:01:23,600 - Have you found any gold? - Oh, Jesus. 23 00:01:23,633 --> 00:01:25,200 - Pardon? - No, no. No gold. 24 00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:26,400 No, no. No, no. 25 00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:29,600 - Fingers crossed. - Yeah. 26 00:01:29,633 --> 00:01:33,633 Er...tell me, how many more of you are coming through? 27 00:01:33,667 --> 00:01:36,633 Of us? About 50 today, I think. 28 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,400 (Buzz of chatter) 29 00:01:43,733 --> 00:01:45,667 - Call it a day? - Probably best. 30 00:01:57,133 --> 00:02:01,733 * Will you search through the lonely earth for me? 31 00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:06,433 * Climb through the briar and bramble 32 00:02:06,467 --> 00:02:09,467 * I'll be your treasure... 33 00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:11,500 That was a good couple of hours. 34 00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:13,533 You getting good stuff? 35 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,067 Me too. 36 00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,300 Bloody ramblers notwithstanding. 37 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:20,333 All Roman. Nothing spectacular but... 38 00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:22,833 Five of these bronzes and that's part of something. 39 00:02:22,867 --> 00:02:25,033 Not sure what. 40 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:29,033 Same here. Roman grots. Four or five of 'em. 41 00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:32,233 How many times have we searched this field 42 00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:35,333 and only now it starts throwing up its treasure? 43 00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:36,700 In six weeks' time, 44 00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:39,300 this'll be solar panels as far as the eye can see. 45 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,767 Less than six weeks. 46 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,400 Doesn't exactly make your heart sing, does it? 47 00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:47,633 Oh, well. Set biscitus deteriatum. 48 00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:51,433 - See University Challenge? - Yeah. 49 00:02:52,867 --> 00:02:54,800 What three-letter generic name 50 00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:56,833 is given to the bird family Paridae? 51 00:02:56,867 --> 00:02:58,833 - Bzzz. - Balliol, Potts. 52 00:02:58,867 --> 00:03:01,233 - Tit. - Tit is correct! Yes! 53 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,100 BOTH: Classic. 54 00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:07,133 MAN: Hello, there! 55 00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:09,000 Ah, speaking of tits. 56 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:14,333 Heeeello, there. 57 00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:16,267 What are you doing here? 58 00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,767 Just er...passing by. 59 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,467 You're always just passing by. 60 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,500 You must come miles out of your way to pass by. 61 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:24,033 (Chuckles) 62 00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:26,067 It must seem like that, yes. 63 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:30,333 No, er...we haven't seen you since your amazing find. 64 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:34,267 Your golden aestel. Wanted to congratulate you, actually. 65 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:35,667 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 66 00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,700 Really fantastic. 67 00:03:37,733 --> 00:03:39,467 How does it feel? 68 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:43,300 To have a piece with my name under it in the British Museum? 69 00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:46,233 Er...it feels good. 70 00:03:47,567 --> 00:03:49,567 I imagine it does. 71 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,433 Well, congratulations. Here's to you. 72 00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:53,833 Mrs Robinson. 73 00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,267 - Pardon? - Nothing. 74 00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:57,467 Is that all you came to say? 75 00:03:57,500 --> 00:04:00,833 That, and to er... 76 00:04:00,867 --> 00:04:04,633 ..wave a white flag... so to speak. 77 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:08,267 Don't you think it's time we put our differences behind us? 78 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:10,067 Maybe pool resources. 79 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,300 What resources? 80 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:13,267 Well...our permissions. 81 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,533 We've got more than enough land to detect on. 82 00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:20,667 And this farm here, it's...far too big for just the two of you. 83 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,300 If you've got more than enough land, why come here? 84 00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:26,433 - Sometimes it's good... - I wasn't talking to you, Paul. 85 00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:31,300 More choice. Different topography. 86 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,733 You don't have any permissions, do you? 87 00:04:33,767 --> 00:04:36,667 - We do. - Oh, yeah? Where? 88 00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:40,100 I'm not gonna tell you, am I? Unless you agree to share. 89 00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,067 Oh, right. 90 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,600 We have some prime locations. 91 00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,567 Oh, do you? 92 00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:53,567 I know what you're doing. 93 00:04:54,533 --> 00:04:55,800 What am I doing? 94 00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:58,233 - A Jimmy Waffle-on. - No, I'm not. 95 00:04:58,267 --> 00:05:00,367 I've just got an itchy chin, that's all. 96 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,467 I've got a bit of an itchy chin, as well. 97 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:06,233 - Tell us about the permissions. - And now you're both doing it. 98 00:05:06,267 --> 00:05:09,233 You're both doing a Jimmy Waffle-on. 99 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,267 Aren't they? Chinny reckon? 100 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,367 - Yeah. - Mm-hm. 101 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:16,733 - No, we're not. - We've got itchy chins is all. 102 00:05:16,767 --> 00:05:18,767 Really? 103 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:20,800 Pathetic. 104 00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:22,767 Come on, Paul. 105 00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:31,767 Spanners. 106 00:05:47,733 --> 00:05:49,667 (Glass clinking) 107 00:05:53,733 --> 00:05:55,667 Kate? Are you here? 108 00:05:58,133 --> 00:06:00,100 Kate, can I have a word? 109 00:06:00,133 --> 00:06:02,067 KATE: Just a minute. 110 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,367 Hello, Dad. Sorry, I'm running late again. 111 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,667 - Kate, we need to have a chat. - Can we take this poster down? 112 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:15,833 The tennis lady? Why? 113 00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,433 Don't you think it's tacky? 114 00:06:17,467 --> 00:06:19,300 Tacky? No. 115 00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:22,533 And a bit... Well... degrading to women. 116 00:06:22,567 --> 00:06:25,067 Kate, she's scratching her bottom. 117 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,367 Dad, she's got no knickers on. 118 00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:30,333 Hasn't she? 119 00:06:30,367 --> 00:06:32,300 I'm late. I'll talk to you later. 120 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:37,600 - Oh, Dad? - Hm? 121 00:06:37,633 --> 00:06:40,567 I think there's a squirrel in the flat. 122 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,533 See ya. 123 00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,600 Heurrggh! 124 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,167 Yargh! 125 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,033 Oyoh! 126 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:29,800 Yargh! 127 00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,033 Ahhh! 128 00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:40,067 Argh! Argh! 129 00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:42,533 Oohhhh! 130 00:07:42,567 --> 00:07:46,167 Oh, bloody hell! Oh, bloody, bloody hell! 131 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,200 It was terrible. 132 00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:50,233 I was going from room to room 133 00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:53,033 with a saucepan and a mop handle, 134 00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:55,667 poking under the furniture, shaking curtains. 135 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,367 It took me an hour and a half to search the flat. 136 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,467 - And no squirrel? - Didn't find one. 137 00:08:00,500 --> 00:08:02,433 She was winding you up. 138 00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,633 - Think she was winding me up? - Sounds like a wind-up. 139 00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:12,633 That's what it's like. Chaos. 140 00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:16,100 And she never sticks to a plan so I never know if she's in. 141 00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:20,500 Where does that leave us if you can't stay with me on my boat? 142 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:23,333 I've been looking into remedies for sea-sickness. 143 00:08:23,367 --> 00:08:26,533 So have I. I think you should try hypnotherapy. 144 00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:31,233 I've always tried to steer clear of the mystical. 145 00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:32,567 It's not mystical. 146 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,600 It is a bit mystical. 147 00:08:34,633 --> 00:08:37,300 I'm not afraid of boats. 148 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:39,333 It's the movement. 149 00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:41,433 Hypnotists can't stop the boat from moving. 150 00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:43,733 Maybe you can. In your head. 151 00:08:43,767 --> 00:08:45,800 Let me get you an appointment. 152 00:08:45,833 --> 00:08:47,367 (Chuckles) 153 00:08:48,433 --> 00:08:50,200 Wow... 154 00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:53,033 Take a brave man to go poking around in here. 155 00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,100 Who knows what might be unleashed? 156 00:09:06,533 --> 00:09:09,567 MAN: I don't understand what we're doing here. 157 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,800 Tim. There's nothing down here. 158 00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:15,500 Give it another hour. 159 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,067 ANDY: Tim. 160 00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:23,733 Tim. I think you'd better come see this. 161 00:09:23,767 --> 00:09:25,700 - Where's this? - Just over here. 162 00:09:39,167 --> 00:09:40,600 Amazing. 163 00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:43,700 See the flagstones protecting it? 164 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,400 As if it was preserved on purpose. 165 00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:47,133 A layer of sand, then stones on top. 166 00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:48,633 Do we know how far it extends? 167 00:09:48,667 --> 00:09:52,133 At least four foot in that direction but maybe further. 168 00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:54,800 - Cover it up. - Huh? 169 00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:56,600 Get a tarp or something. 170 00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,467 Cover it up. 171 00:10:02,667 --> 00:10:04,167 Hello. 172 00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:08,133 Hello. 173 00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:10,167 Over here. How are you? 174 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,133 Good to see you. 175 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,733 It's all there, Becks. It has to be. 176 00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:23,400 I reckon the stones were put down to protect the mosaic. 177 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,167 I can see you. 178 00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,167 I think the whole floor might be complete. 179 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,700 I took off the edge stone and the mosaic was right there. 180 00:10:51,733 --> 00:10:53,667 It's so beautiful, look. 181 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,733 - Oh, weird. - What? 182 00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,433 I took at least five photos. They're not here. 183 00:11:04,467 --> 00:11:07,100 - Are you sure you saved them? - Balls. Where are they? 184 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:10,467 Doesn't matter. I'll take some more when we lift the stones. 185 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,500 - Brilliant. Congratulations. - Thank you. 186 00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:15,667 And you know what? I saw, at last, some enthusiasm in Tim. 187 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:19,033 Usually nothing stirs him. But he got quite emotional. 188 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,733 (Chuckles) Well, good. Sounds like it's working out. 189 00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:23,500 Yeah. Yeah. 190 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,233 I think it's working out. 191 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:33,333 He can't make me do anything against my will? 192 00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:36,667 You're always fully conscious. Just in a very relaxed state. 193 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:38,700 So... 194 00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:41,467 He can't make me say anything I'll regret later? 195 00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:42,600 No. 196 00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:45,400 Ah. Nothing specific. 197 00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:49,333 Not hiding anything... 198 00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:51,367 to my knowledge. 199 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,767 - Just chill. - I'm just saying. 200 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,733 I don't want to blurt anything out. 201 00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,833 Do people tend to blurt? 202 00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:01,500 There's very little blurting. 203 00:12:01,533 --> 00:12:03,467 Oh, good. Good. 204 00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:07,400 - Mr Stater? - Yes. 205 00:12:07,433 --> 00:12:08,800 Would you like to come through? 206 00:12:08,833 --> 00:12:10,833 - Why? - For your treatment. 207 00:12:10,867 --> 00:12:12,233 I'm Dr Hoffmann. 208 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,733 Are you? 209 00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:17,133 Is she? 210 00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:18,767 Yes! That's Dr Hoffmann. 211 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,167 Oh, yeah. Great. Good. Yeah. 212 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,000 Let's go. 213 00:12:28,467 --> 00:12:30,267 - Don't be nervous. - I'm not nervous. 214 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,233 Try to relax. 215 00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:37,300 - I want this to work. - Me too. 216 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,800 Just take a seat there and make yourself comfortable. 217 00:12:53,833 --> 00:12:55,467 Oh. 218 00:12:57,333 --> 00:13:00,667 I was expecting, you know... hangings. 219 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,000 Hangings? 220 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,533 Tie-dyed wall hangings. 221 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,467 Wind chimes. The smell of patchouli. 222 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,533 Oh, I see. Like a mystic. 223 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,333 You're not gonna have me doing Elvis, are you? 224 00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,733 No, no. Nothing like that. 225 00:13:15,767 --> 00:13:18,667 Cos that's the thing, isn't it? You know. 226 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:21,300 Someone says the word "fish and chips" 227 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,167 and I am compelled to sing and dance like Elvis. 228 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,667 I suppose so. 229 00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:30,767 - Could you do that? - I'm not a stage hypnotist. 230 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,033 - Can I call you Lance? - Please do. 231 00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:37,167 Great. So...the only way this can work 232 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:41,400 is if you are completely comfortable and relaxed. 233 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:50,767 Thank you. 234 00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,600 Sit back... 235 00:13:56,633 --> 00:14:00,733 Success depends on you being able to... 236 00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:02,267 completely switch off. 237 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,300 Trust my voice. 238 00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:06,333 And let it carry you away. 239 00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:09,600 I suppose it would be difficult if you had an annoying accent 240 00:14:09,633 --> 00:14:11,067 or a squeaky voice. 241 00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:15,400 Try and put those thoughts out of your mind for a while. 242 00:14:16,433 --> 00:14:20,033 Try to empty your mind. 243 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,333 (Monotone voice) I will do exactly as you say! 244 00:14:23,367 --> 00:14:25,833 Well done. Just close your eyes. 245 00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:29,167 And listen to the sound of my voice. 246 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,167 - Listening. - No need to tell me that. 247 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,500 Just listen. 248 00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:39,633 - Got it. - You don't have to say a thing. 249 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:43,167 Oh. But I thought you were waiting for a reply. 250 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,467 - No. - Cos you hesitated. 251 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,667 I might do that but you don't need to say anything or worry. 252 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:51,767 Just relax...and listen. 253 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:14,100 So I want you to imagine that you are lying on soft, warm sand 254 00:15:14,133 --> 00:15:15,767 on a beach. 255 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,200 And it is a beautiful summer's day. 256 00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:21,600 And the sun is on your face. 257 00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:24,367 You've not got a care in the world 258 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,567 or anything to do. 259 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:31,800 - You can enjoy the sun all day. - Sorry. Sorry. 260 00:15:31,833 --> 00:15:33,700 Sorry, I um... 261 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,567 I'm very sensitive to the sun. 262 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,100 I burn very easily. 263 00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:41,533 I wouldn't just sunbathe. Um... 264 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:43,667 Is carpet the same as sand? 265 00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:46,100 Could I lie in my flat? 266 00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:48,300 Yes. 267 00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:51,400 So you are lying on the carpet... 268 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,500 - ..in your flat. - Hm. 269 00:15:54,533 --> 00:15:58,700 You are very comfortable and warm. Just right. 270 00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:02,567 And you can feel yourself sinking into the carpet. 271 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,433 Sinking down through the carpet, 272 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:12,133 down, down...and the carpet... 273 00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:13,667 No, no. The problem is... 274 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:17,400 - You live on the first floor? - On the first floor. Exactly. 275 00:16:17,433 --> 00:16:20,267 So I'm sinking down now into Mrs Morris's flat. 276 00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:21,833 She's gonna be terrified. 277 00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:24,433 It works best on a beach, you can just keep on sinking. 278 00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:28,233 Er...have you got one of those sunshades? 279 00:16:28,267 --> 00:16:32,000 Maybe I could sit under one of those big umbrellas. 280 00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,400 Yes, do that. 281 00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:38,500 Right, here we go. Back on the beach. 282 00:16:38,533 --> 00:16:40,467 Carry on. 283 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,167 Carry on-ez-vous. 284 00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:57,433 You were very quick. 285 00:16:57,467 --> 00:16:59,267 I was out like a light, yeah. 286 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:01,467 - Like that. Spark-o. - Really? 287 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,567 Yeah. I feel different. 288 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,833 Like I don't suffer from sea-sickness any more. 289 00:17:06,867 --> 00:17:08,800 Why did she have her head in her hands? 290 00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:10,833 Did she? 291 00:17:10,867 --> 00:17:13,200 Oh, I think she had a migraine coming on. 292 00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,167 Can children get migraines? 293 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,600 She wasn't that young. 294 00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:19,700 She didn't know who Yuri Geller was. 295 00:17:19,733 --> 00:17:22,133 Why were you talking about Yuri Geller? 296 00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:24,567 I was talking about fraudsters in general. 297 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:28,067 Not her. I was just saying there must be some out there. 298 00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:30,100 But, no, yeah. 299 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,067 I think it's done some good. 300 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,467 What's this? 301 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,800 That's for being brave. 302 00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:42,067 Aw, cheers. 303 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,200 Well, better get off to the scout hut. 304 00:17:44,233 --> 00:17:46,433 Wanna stay tomorrow night, see if it worked? 305 00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:49,700 - Yeah. Go on, then. - We can get a takeaway. 306 00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:53,033 - Treat you to fish and chips. - Thank you very much. 307 00:18:01,867 --> 00:18:03,833 Very nice. 308 00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:08,100 House of Constantine, circa 224-330AD. 309 00:18:08,133 --> 00:18:11,667 - That's what I said. - And this one is third century, 310 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,700 possibly Claudius II. 311 00:18:13,733 --> 00:18:16,333 - I said that as well. - All this from the same field? 312 00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:19,700 There's something good going on down there, Terry. We're close. 313 00:18:22,367 --> 00:18:24,767 TERRY: What's Russell doing? Russell? 314 00:18:27,167 --> 00:18:28,467 Russ! 315 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,333 - What you doing? - I'm on my new app. 316 00:18:32,367 --> 00:18:35,333 - Your what? - It's my new app. On my phone. 317 00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:38,167 It's a metal-detecting app. It's great. 318 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,400 You can go on different historical sites to detect. 319 00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,500 I'm currently on Hadrian's Wall. 320 00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:46,733 Well, now I've seen everything. 321 00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:49,633 Here we go. Good signal, 12.5. 322 00:18:58,667 --> 00:19:00,600 It's deep. 323 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,533 Ahh. 324 00:19:06,567 --> 00:19:08,600 Roman centurion's helmet. 325 00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:10,567 Good condition. 326 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,800 I'm keeping it. 327 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:23,533 So did Andy tell you who's been snooping around? 328 00:19:23,567 --> 00:19:26,100 - Who? - Simon and Garfunkel. 329 00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:27,267 The Antiqui-searchers? 330 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,700 Didn't they change their name to something ridiculous? 331 00:19:30,733 --> 00:19:33,767 The Dirt Sharks. 332 00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:41,800 Right, well. There you go, then. 333 00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:43,833 It's decided. 334 00:19:43,867 --> 00:19:46,300 We are no longer the Dirt Sharks. 335 00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:47,767 What are we? 336 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,233 Terra Firma. 337 00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:51,100 Yes! 338 00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:53,767 But we're spelling "terra" the proper Latin way. 339 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,800 Not the way you want to spell it. 340 00:19:55,833 --> 00:19:57,833 It's scarier my way. 341 00:19:57,867 --> 00:20:00,467 Right, then. New name, new start. 342 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,167 This year, I am determined, will be the year 343 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,300 we are finally accepted onto a proper organised rally. 344 00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:09,800 And when we are, I want us to be prepared. 345 00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:14,333 - I wanna see the Dirt Sharks... - Terra Firma. 346 00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:18,433 I want Terra Firma to get the best finds in every category. 347 00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,700 Gavin, what are you gonna find? 348 00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,433 James I, hammered groat. 349 00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:29,300 - Is it real? - I think so. I got it on eBay. 350 00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,033 How deep will it be? 351 00:20:31,067 --> 00:20:32,367 Four, five inches. 352 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,267 - Reading? - 53. 353 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:37,267 - A bit scratchy. - Nice. 354 00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:38,767 Michael? 355 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:46,033 Be realistic. 356 00:20:46,067 --> 00:20:49,400 So I said, "If that turns out to be the case, 357 00:20:49,433 --> 00:20:53,500 I will change my name by deed poll 358 00:20:53,533 --> 00:20:55,433 to Belinda Carlisle." 359 00:20:55,467 --> 00:20:57,400 (Laughter) 360 00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:02,500 What a wonderful story! 361 00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:05,667 True as I'm sitting here now. 362 00:21:05,700 --> 00:21:08,600 That restores your faith in humanity, doesn't it? 363 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,333 Another cup of tea, Belinda? 364 00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:14,300 (Guffaws of laughter) 365 00:21:15,133 --> 00:21:16,667 There she goes. 366 00:21:16,700 --> 00:21:19,033 You know... 367 00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:21,567 She's got the timing of Ken Dodd, that one. 368 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,533 I'll give you that one, Sheila! 369 00:21:25,467 --> 00:21:27,133 We have a laugh, don't we? 370 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,467 You idiot! 371 00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,500 How could you get it so wrong? 372 00:21:46,533 --> 00:21:49,100 - I just thought... - What? 373 00:21:50,067 --> 00:21:51,100 It doesn't matter. 374 00:21:53,700 --> 00:21:56,267 Why don't you think before you open your mouth? 375 00:21:56,300 --> 00:21:57,733 Knobhead. 376 00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:05,533 Well...we've had a very busy week. 377 00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,633 After a typically infuriating encounter 378 00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:12,567 with those two goons from the DMDC, 379 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:16,133 Paul and I decided to drop in on their landowner. 380 00:22:16,167 --> 00:22:18,233 - See if we couldn't... - Butter him up. 381 00:22:18,267 --> 00:22:21,500 ..curry favour, I was going to say. 382 00:22:24,833 --> 00:22:26,667 And the information he gave us was... 383 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:29,000 - Weapons-grade. - Can you stop interrupting? 384 00:22:31,167 --> 00:22:33,833 Turns out the church farm has been acquired by 385 00:22:33,867 --> 00:22:36,033 a solar energy company. 386 00:22:36,067 --> 00:22:39,200 They're due to start converting the land in five weeks. 387 00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:41,067 So did he give you permission? 388 00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,033 He didn't, no. 389 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,000 But Photon Harvest Solar Electricity did. 390 00:22:51,267 --> 00:22:53,100 Paul's idea. 391 00:22:53,133 --> 00:22:55,233 Cut out the middle man. Go straight to the top. 392 00:22:55,267 --> 00:22:57,567 Offer them a service they can't live without. 393 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:58,733 What service? 394 00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:00,767 Obstruction clearance. 395 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,033 Farm machinery, unexploded bombs. 396 00:23:03,067 --> 00:23:06,567 - That was my idea. - I just said it was your idea. 397 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,500 I gave you credit about two seconds ago. 398 00:23:09,533 --> 00:23:11,467 You don't have to repeat it. 399 00:23:13,633 --> 00:23:16,500 Well, it was when I mentioned unexploded bombs 400 00:23:16,533 --> 00:23:18,633 and what happened to that idiot Terry Seymour 401 00:23:18,667 --> 00:23:23,267 a couple of years ago, that their ears pricked right up. 402 00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:26,333 And the permission... ladies and gentlemen... 403 00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:28,800 - ..is... - ..ours. 404 00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:30,433 Oh, God! 405 00:23:41,633 --> 00:23:43,200 Are you the metal detectors? 406 00:23:43,233 --> 00:23:45,800 Are we the metal detectors? 407 00:23:45,833 --> 00:23:47,833 The bloke I spoke to on the phone. 408 00:23:47,867 --> 00:23:49,633 No. 409 00:23:49,667 --> 00:23:51,800 - Oh, right. We got some. - Some what? 410 00:23:51,833 --> 00:23:54,600 We got some metal detectors to do this so we don't need you. 411 00:23:55,867 --> 00:23:57,800 Sorry, wait. What? 412 00:23:57,833 --> 00:24:01,033 We got five weeks till this farm's converted. 413 00:24:01,067 --> 00:24:03,067 Five weeks till the panels go up. 414 00:24:03,100 --> 00:24:05,433 We need somebody to get rid of the obstructions. 415 00:24:05,467 --> 00:24:07,600 And you've got your own detectorists? 416 00:24:07,633 --> 00:24:10,500 They're freelance. They wrote to us. We've employed them. 417 00:24:10,533 --> 00:24:13,133 - What are they called? - A company called... 418 00:24:13,167 --> 00:24:14,267 Terra Firma. 419 00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:17,567 - Never heard of 'em. - When are they showing up? 420 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,767 Thought they were gonna be here. I was supposed to meet them. 421 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,167 I thought you were them. 422 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,667 You are kidding me. 423 00:24:40,567 --> 00:24:42,167 Are you the metal detectors? 424 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,600 Indeed we are. 425 00:24:43,633 --> 00:24:46,533 Terra Firma at your service, sir. 426 00:24:46,567 --> 00:24:48,467 I can see from our friends' faces 427 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:52,667 - they've heard the good news. - Sneaky bloody trick. 428 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:54,700 Quite the opposite, in fact. 429 00:24:54,733 --> 00:24:57,367 We've been through all the correct channels, 430 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,800 as can be proved with this paper trail. 431 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:02,367 We've been on this farm five years. 432 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,033 Can't you all do it? I don't care if they do it as well. 433 00:25:05,067 --> 00:25:07,067 No, no, no, no, no, no. 434 00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:11,233 You gave us the permission as stated in this email. 435 00:25:11,267 --> 00:25:13,233 We have the permission of the landowner. 436 00:25:13,267 --> 00:25:15,067 Over-ruled, actually. 437 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:17,533 Oh, come on. There's only four of you and 300 acres. 438 00:25:17,567 --> 00:25:19,033 Why can't you work together? 439 00:25:19,067 --> 00:25:22,500 We gave them the chance to share and they turned it down. 440 00:25:22,533 --> 00:25:24,133 Why should we? We got here first. 441 00:25:24,167 --> 00:25:26,067 We got here first. Why should we share it? 442 00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:27,500 - You should share. - Shut up. 443 00:25:27,533 --> 00:25:30,700 - You shut up. - It's like a school playground! 444 00:25:30,733 --> 00:25:32,200 How old are you lot? 445 00:25:32,233 --> 00:25:34,567 We'll do it first come, first served. 446 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,267 Whoever gets here first gets the choice of their field. 447 00:25:37,300 --> 00:25:39,033 Not fair. 448 00:25:39,067 --> 00:25:41,067 You can all sling your hooks! I don't care! 449 00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:43,800 Hang on, hang on, wait. I can go along with that. 450 00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:45,700 First come, first served. 451 00:25:52,300 --> 00:25:54,600 OK. 452 00:25:54,633 --> 00:25:56,467 See? We don't have to behave like kids. 453 00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:59,633 Yeah, but after we've chosen the field, 454 00:25:59,667 --> 00:26:03,567 there's an invisible force field all the way around 455 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,233 and you cannot enter it. 456 00:26:05,267 --> 00:26:07,367 What if we haven't got our detectors? 457 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,800 It's an impenetrable force field. 458 00:26:08,833 --> 00:26:11,600 Right. Now shake hands. 459 00:26:11,633 --> 00:26:13,733 - No way. - Never. 460 00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:16,567 Childish. 461 00:26:18,233 --> 00:26:20,667 I know you are. What am I? 462 00:26:26,067 --> 00:26:27,400 Huh? 463 00:27:24,433 --> 00:27:26,367 (Lance groans) 464 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,600 Feeling any better? 465 00:27:41,633 --> 00:27:43,633 Think so. 466 00:27:43,667 --> 00:27:45,600 Did it all come up? 467 00:27:46,667 --> 00:27:48,600 Mm. 468 00:27:49,767 --> 00:27:51,700 Saw some fish eating it. 469 00:27:52,633 --> 00:27:54,067 Did you? 470 00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:56,267 Yeah.