This programme contains strong language.
PHONE RINGING
Queen's ED Resus.
Oh, God!
Resus, code alpha.
Stepped out in front of a tram.
Fractured limb. 13-year-old impaled on a fence.
That's going to be a red.
Piece of machinery has hit him in the face.
There's absolutely no space.
Oh! No pulse. Cardiac arrest.
That's it. Can we have another pulse check, please?
Yeah, I've got a pulse.
You guys are awesome.
It's all go, ain't it?
Hello, sir. Welcome to Queens.
Queen's Medical Centre, Nottingham...
Ey up, duck. I've chopped me fingers off!
..one of the busiest A&E departments in Europe...
Can we have some help?
..now under more pressure than ever.
Patients from last night are still here.
The last few years have definitely been a lot tougher.
So sorry about the wait. It's OK.
We just feel like we're battling every day,
but we have to keep going.
You're in the right place with the right people. Thank you.
A place where life...
Huh-huh-hu!
Are you all right? Hi!
..love...
I just wanted you.
..and loss...
He's going to go to intensive care.
..unfold every single day.
Your mum is here.
We can't let the bad times destroy people.
Whatever happens, you've got to fight.
It's humanity that gets people through. It's the love.
She's here. Hi, love. Hi, love.
I think we sometimes take the people we love for granted,
and we think they're going to be there forever.
But we need to hold on to those connections,
because you don't know when they're not going to be there any more.
I love you.
Probably don't say it as much as I should.
This guy has literally just turned off,
come crashing in, and gone into them.
PHONE RINGING
Queen's Resus.
20 minutes.
Multiple pedestrians have been injured after being hit by a car.
Paramedics are rushing them to Queen's Medical Centre.
PHONE RINGING
Queen's Resus. Yeah. Another pedestrian.
Hi, could I have two adult amber trauma calls to ED Resus, please?
Trauma Doctor James is on call in Resus.
Multiple pedestrians hit by
a vehicle coming in at once is an unusual scenario.
That's going to be number three. Hello, Queen's Resus.
And immediately you need to start planning about how you're going to
do deal with them.
I'm going to move ACU chap to Team Two.
Car versus person can result in catastrophic injuries.
Thoracic or heart injuries.
The spine, intra-abdominal bleeding.
And then we always worry about head injuries.
An 18-year-old woman is one of the patients being rushed to A&E.
Set the timer for ten minutes.
Her mother is on her way to the hospital.
It was a very warm evening.
She was going to a pub quiz.
The last thing I said to her was "Be careful".
She'd been out of the house about 45 minutes,
and my phone started to ring.
I thought, "What's wrong?" She usually messages.
So, I answered it and it was not my daughter.
The ambulance lady said she was unconscious.
Your stomach churns.
It's every parent's worst nightmare.
My first thought was I just wanted to be with her.
All right.
Mica was walking where a car has mounted the pavement,
knocked Mica and other pedestrians into the air.
Mica's been thrown across the front of the car,
landed,
was witnessed that she was a loss of consciousness
for approximately 30 seconds,
with a potential seizure during that time.
She has got pain to her left shoulder,
left elbow, pain to the right side of her jaw.
She's got a haematoma to the left side of her forehead,
and abrasions to the left cheek.
My jaw's killing me.
Hello, my name's James. Are you all right?
MOANS
If somebody has a seizure following a head injury,
it makes you more concerned,
because it might represent significant trauma to the brain.
We'd be very concerned about intracranial bleeding,
so bleeding on the brain.
A bleed on the brain following trauma can be really significant,
and can cause brain damage or potentially could be fatal.
Mica's amazing.
She's selfless.
She's made a lot of sacrifices to help me.
I'd be lost without her.
Will you go to Bay 3? Yeah.
Ready for your new trauma that's inbound.
The Major Trauma Team have been called
to Resus after three pedestrians were hit by
a car when it mounted the pavement.
Oh, here we go.
3. 3, please.
Yeah. Ready, steady, slide.
So, this is James. James is a 59-year-old male.
We've got another pedestrian.
So were you just walking past?
Are you happy? Ready, steady, roll.
And lower.
18 year old Mica, the most seriously injured patient,
is having an urgent CT scan.
Doctors are concerned she may have a significant brain injury.
Just stay nice and still. That's all you have to do.
Mica was a lovely, smiley, happy baby and toddler.
But mischievous.
I'd find her down the bottom of the garden
covered in glue and glitter.
She'd draw on walls and under the table.
The Silent Assassin was her nickname.
Being a mum means everything.
You don't know what love is until you have a child of your own.
I've got three children - Mica's older brother, Scott.
She's got a younger sister, AmyMae.
I never imagined I'd be a single parent.
I don't suppose anybody does when they first have children.
Mica's father left me the week before her first Christmas.
She was about six months old.
So, it really was cutting.
I've not got many photos of her first Christmas,
cos I was a bit of a mess.
Very difficult on your own,
but I knew I could do it for them.
I took myself on holiday abroad for the first time on my own with them.
Mica couldn't walk at the time,
and I'm like walking around the airport
with one under my arm, one running around like a lunatic.
I was on my own for nine, ten months when I got with Matt.
I can remember the first time I met him,
and he popped his bald head around the door,
and a big grin on his face.
This big, bouncy party animal.
He fitted in with the family instantly.
He was a good father.
He used to work away Monday to Friday in construction.
So, Friday nights there would be
music on, dancing around - "Dad's home!"
Mica and Matt got along great.
He was the one that got her into football.
She wanted to be a footballer when she was growing up,
but she realised that it's a bit tougher for girls to be
a footballer.
So, she focused on wanting to be a sports journalist instead.
She wanted to go to university to do media.
Life was very good. Everything was fantastic.
But then we'd be out for walks and Matt, his leg'd go dead.
And it was often a standing joke that,
"Oh, Dad's leg's gone again!"
And he wouldn't be able to move it for a few minutes.
Then just over five years ago he had
a massive seizure at home.
I didn't understand what was happening.
We called an ambulance.
I'm going to slide you down, and then back to the bed.
I never imagined I'd be a single parent twice over.
But life definitely changed for both me and Mica.
Hello, are you all right?
Are you OK?
This isn't alcohol, Chan, this is lost of blood, Chan.
That's fine. I'm not really, I don't really mind what it is,
but as long as it goes in the bowl, please.
Yeah, yeah, I will.
Hell...
..oh! Me talking to the answer phone.
I'm good.
These hats are cool, though. I like them.
Maybe keep it in your hand.
Yeah. It's in my hand.
You're annoying when you're drunk.
God almighty!
Hello, it's Chyna on reception in ED,
can I just let you know about a patient?
He's in UTU in ED, he's just literally walked in.
He's trying to speak and he's just not coming out right.
61-year-old Crispin has come to A&E with his partner Stella,
after he started struggling to speak.
Thank you, bye.
When working on reception,
you're always wondering what story you're going to get next.
If someone's unable to speak properly or they're confused,
my first question I would ask would be, "Is it a stroke?"
You're going to be all right.
I was downstairs and I heard this kind of noise upstairs,
and Cris shouted out "Help!"
So, I went running upstairs,
and when I got up there he was lying on the floor.
I was pretty unsure what was going on.
is body was OK
and he was just talking complete gobbledygook,
like "bli-blur-blue-blah",
kind of making proper sounds but just not words.
So, I spoke to the Stroke Team, they're going to come and see you.
We will book a scan of your head in the meantime regardless,
because this is one of the things that we prioritise - strokes.
There's two types of strokes.
There's an ischemic stroke, which is
a blood clot or plaque that's blocked
the blood supply off to the brain.
Or there's a haemorrhagic stroke, which is a bleed in the brain.
Stroke, it's this guy, just there.
If it's not treated quickly, then you're at risk of permanent damage...
..brain death or dying.
Can you have numbruk, mumber from migraine?
Yes, you can.
Well, you can have speech as well, but...
Comes and goes at the moment.
Moment lucidia-ish.
So, Crispin, we'll wheel you around to Resus, OK?
Thank you.
Rum, rum.
What's wrong?
Gone. You can't feel it? Nmm...
Numb? Mm, now, gone. OK, OK.
Would it be OK if I do a quick neurological test with you?
Can you help me? Yeah.
What month are we in?
8-3, January, February, sart...
It's going to... Madrial sun duranary. Is that right?
Cris was always my solid ground at home,
and it's where my heart feels safe.
What's this?
It's a staired. Right.
OK. And these?
Diets. Right.
It was really hard to know what was
going to go on from here.
It was really, really scary.
And this?
A diet, er, rayar, erm...
You know, is this the day that completely changes our lives?
What's your name, sir?
Rispin.
Resp...
It's been almost an hour since 61-year-old Crispin arrived in A&E.
Did you have any headache?
Yes.
Doctors suspect he may be having a stroke.
Before the speech loss. Yes.
10, 20, 30, 40, 50. 50?
50 minutes? 30. 30 minutes?
38, nine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Specialist stroke consultant Ash is on call in Resus.
A stroke is a race against time.
It can progress very quickly.
Every minute you delay, 1.9 million neurons will be dead.
You're going down for a scan, yeah? Good.
If there is no bleed in the brain... Yes.
..it's most likely to be a clot.
Thank you for help me.
That's OK, that's what we're here for.
You'll be all right, matey. Yeah. Don't panic. Don't panic.
Want to try, must trart, try-an...
So hard.
Head first, please. Thank you.
Crispin's always been passionate about his music,
and music's always been a big part of both of our lives.
I believe music talks to people's hearts
and lets people actually feel what they feel about things.
I'm going to flush your cannula with a bit of water.
Shush, shuh-a help. Yes.
He was a drummer.
He played music with lots of different musicians,
trying out new styles and creating music in his own studio.
Working with young musicians as well,
and keeping his finger on the pulse of
the kind of music that's happening now.
Just a strap, OK?
Thank you.
And keep your head nice and still now, OK? Sure.
I grew up in South Manchester.
I came to Nottingham when I was 18,
and I started playing in a band.
We got very involved in the Women's Peace Movement,
and played at Greenham Common,
and I really enjoyed playing music in those political situations,
bringing some joy and celebration and pulling people together.
I played music professionally, and really enjoyed playing at gigs.
I did a few theatre tours.
I first met Cris in a band practice around 1989.
We had a nine piece dance band,
and we were needing a new drummer.
This guy turned up with long dark hair
and a big leather jacket.
Cris rang me up and asked to come round and see me.
So, I said, yeah, and he came round and kind of made a proclamation
and said that he thought I was really gorgeous!
As we got to know each other, we drew closer together
and I remember a romantic evening around
a little open fire,
which was the first time we spent time, the pair of us.
Cris was always an intriguing person.
He was very good looking to my eyes,
and fun to be with,
and great to have conversations with.
So for this scan, we need to give you an injection,
that we used to highlight your blood vessels. Hi, hi.
Highlight. Light E, E. Highlight, yes. Yeah.
So like mu-jay, ru-jay.
You have words and things. Love them.
I remember telling a friend that I was having a bit of a fling.
So, I obviously wasn't taking it very seriously.
But over the next few years,
I just got to the point where I knew I wanted
to have children with him.
And we've got two kids, Lorenzo and Bertie.
Cris really enjoyed having the kids.
He'd have fun with them - sometimes do a little bit of music
with them when they were in the mood.
Are you OK, Crispin? Yes.
How, was it?
Fine. Yeah? All done.
Having kids certainly does change your life.
It becomes the life,
and it was at that point that I had decided
to make music my hobby.
We played in lots of gigs, all around the country,
and I felt like having two musicians in
the family wasn't really going to work.
We had quite a rich and varied life through having kids
and we're both sociable people who enjoy sharing time
and food and music with other people.
But then Cris started to have lots of health issues
and we all had to fit around that.
How will you know if stroken?
The stroke consultant is already looking at the pictures.
Brilliant. And they will let you know what's going on.
If I see a calcified artery,
then there is a high suspicion that this might be
a stroke due to a clot.
Calcification can cause a narrowing of the arteries
in the neck.
A clot can be thrown up from THIS artery into the brain,
blocks one of the major arteries in the brain.
Bye-bye Crispin. Thanking you.
If there is no bleed in the scan,
and there are some indicators it is a clot,
the only hope for improvement is by bursting that clot.
Yeah. Four MT. Thank you. Thank you.
But any intervention does not come without a risk.
I'm going to pull the sticker. Are you ready? Yeah.
Free waxing on the NHS.
I shaved yesterday.
That's a good job, isn't it?
Look at that. It's swollen.
I don't like having a broken arm.
Aw, mate! You know what that means though, don't you? What?
No PS5.
Shite!
Don't swear.
I said "shite".
Oh, how do you spell coccyx?
A "cox-it"?
Cox-it, is that how you spell it? I don't know.
I think you spell it with "YX".
That's how you spell it. Yeah.
God, I'd have failed in the spelling bit.
I'm sorry to bring this up,
but I'm literally like leaking into my bandages. That's not good.
That's gross.
Shall I tell them that?
No, I'm pretty sure they'll be aware of it.
Sorry to bother you.
Jodes, what's up?
Jodie? Jodes, there. Oh, that's me. Yeah.
Good timing.
Tell me what happened? So, I was at PRYZM, right?
Yeah. And one of my friends,
she for some reason tackled me into the wall, against the wall.
OK. Which is where everyone leaves their bottles.
OK, fine, so you fell to the floor, you cut your leg on some glass?
Yes, leg and arm.
And it broke when you landed on it?
Yeah, it was broken when I got tackled into it,
and there was just blood dripping down my leg.
It's kind of gross.
Feels like a shark bit me.
That's what you can tell people.
Just need to put some fluids up for you. OK.
In Resus, Mica is awaiting her CT scan results
after she was hit by a car.
Doctors are concerned she has a bleed on her brain.
Mica's mum Lyndsey has arrived at A&E.
Mica? Who's that? It's Mum. Oh, hello.
I don't even remember what happened.
You don't remember these things
to save you from remembering the trauma.
It's a good thing.
Hello. So one of your scan results has just come back.
So, I don't think there's any injuries below her shoulder
basically down. OK. There are injuries on it, right?
You've broken your jaw.
We'll talk to the jaw max-fax people who are the specialists for that.
OK. OK? Mm-hm.
She's obviously bumped her head,
but she might have had a seizure at the time, OK?
Sometimes with a bit of a trauma, or a faint or that sort of thing,
you can have kind of twitching and like things that look like
seizures that aren't necessarily real seizures,
but, without being there, it's very difficult to say.
The whole seizure thing and being at this hospital is stressing me.
Oh, is it? Oh, dear. Because we've spent a lot of time in this hospital. OK, all right.
Just over five years ago,
Mica's step father had a massive seizure at home.
And he was taken to the hospital,
where they gave him a scan, and they found a mass.
OK. Thank you.
He had a brain tumour that they tried to remove.
They couldn't remove it.
First few weeks was crazy.
Lots of seizures - daily, all through the night.
He lost two stone in a week or two,
with the amount of seizures he had.
Then the doctors told us it was terminal.
He was only 42.
Oh...
It's the cruellest cancer I've seen.
So, every day's a blessing.
Matt and I decided to get married, because he wanted to make
an honest woman out of me before he died.
Mica was 13.
She was the bridesmaid with her sister.
Scott was his best man.
Calm down. Calm down.
I just want to sit up. Calm down.
You can't.
You've got this thing on your head.
We went on holiday to Tenerife a lot.
I guess the dynamics of the family changed.
I think children are far more resilient than you think.
Are you comfy? Mm.
Yeah? I'll try and get this hair out of your scab.
Mica took it in her stride.
She tried her hardest to care for him while I was at work.
But then Matt became bed-bound.
Mica helped get him drinks and food, helped move him around.
Get up in the night when I'd not heard him as well.
Caring for someone that you love that you know you're
going to lose is hard,
but you wouldn't have it any other way,
because I don't want anyone else to look after him.
I think we do it best.
You know, it's not a job, it's family.
Just got something now. Yeah.
Doctors now have Mica's full CT report.
So, just to bring you up to speed
with what we think's been going on. Mm?
There's something on the scan that they've said could be a bleed.
Any significant injury to the head or bleed on the brain
has to be closely monitored.
And I think keep her overnight, to observe her, essentially.
OK. OK.
Bleeding on the brain can be really significant,
because the skull acts as a fixed space,
and there's not much space in there to accommodate a volume of blood,
and they can have long-standing effects on your brain function
and your qualify of life.
Oh, does he not want to go to the walk-in centre in the morning?
Oh, they need to stop coming now.
I know. I'm done.
It's all or nothing.
It's like the guy with the, you know...
The stroke that we had? I wonder what happened to him.
Doctors are awaiting the results of Crispin's CT scan,
to confirm if the symptoms are being caused by a bleed
or a clot on his brain.
I am "lile" to be OK again?
It's difficult to say, sweetheart, because sometimes it doesn't...
Is it really more likely to always be "porta-taste"?
I'm always going to some, a little bit...
..going to be something wrong with me whatever.
It's very difficult to say that at this time.
I'm trying not to be "strensible".
Streshon. Shreshon.
Stressed? Cusha.
Depressed?
No, not presteta, no, no. Erm...
Under pressure? Yeah...yeah, maybe it is right, I mean,
I don't think it's what I mean, though.
There's a lot going on, isn't it?
Yes.
When I first Crisp, he was really active.
As well as his drums, he would run and run,
and cycle many miles.
I never would have thought he wouldn't be an active person.
But Cris has had lots of health episodes over the years.
He's always had lots of back problems,
and he was often living with pain.
He's had three spinal operations
to help him with the pain.
I remember when Cris had his first operation.
I was waiting in the park with the kids,
and that real fear and dread of losing him.
I feel scramble more now. Does that make sense? Do you?
You feel more scrambled now?
Yes, more than before.
Than before. Try to relax.
Take some deep breaths. Yeah, it's just odd.
Cris' walking and stuff never really recovered,
which meant he was not able to do
a lot of physical stuff,
and I pretty much had to look after the kids on my own.
It was really, really hard for all of us,
but we always had music.
I'm losing everything. It's going.
I'm losing everything.
I don't know what I'm saying any more properly, like this.
I mean, I just want to be able to do my...
It's been two-and-a-half years since the kids left home.
We've kind of being able to re-find our relationship as the two of us.
We've both always really enjoyed being out in nature,
going to new bits of countryside,
looking out to sea and walking on the beach,
and Cris always wanted to get a camper van and go
and tour up the coast of West Scotland.
I would've loved to do that, as well,
but we had to put it all on hold.
I certainly didn't expect that I'd have to face
my own life-threatening illness.
Doctors now have Crispin's initial CT report.
Hi, Crispin. Yes.
I've done a scan. Yes.
There's no evidence of bleed there.
Great.
But it might be still a clot.
OK.
So, we are going to go ahead and give the clot-busting injection. OK.
Which would make it better.
Thrombolysis is a medication which is given intravenously to the body.
It thins the blood and busts the clot
which is blocking the artery.
But given Thrombolysis is not guaranteed to work.
So, I need to explain to you the risk and the benefit...
Yes. ..of giving this injection.
The benefit is one in seven people get completely better.
You walk out of the hospital next day. Yes.
But one in 20 people can become worse.
So, "process-ger" might... bad or good?
Yes. So, yeah. Yeah, yeah. OK, yeah.
Obviously the benefit is better than the risk.
Wh-What are the bad things that could happen?
It's a bleed into the brain.
It is scary, and can be really difficult for the patient.
They feel the pressure to make a decision,
but it is a race against time.
It needs to be given within four-and-a-half hours.
Beyond four-and-a-half hours,
it does carry a risk of significant brain bleed.
So, are you happy for me to go ahead with the injection?
Er, difficult to know.
Is diagrammed?
So, if I get a more "glud-spren"...
Blood spread? Yeah.
..then could it be, could - anything could happen?
See what I mean? So, it could...
It's not a nice sish, "sishion".
No. Then you lose the time window.
What do you think?
I'm a bit...gone a bit too difficult to decide if,
probably - properly - to make quite decision...
Time is of the essence.
I don't know. It's too much.
It wasn't my fault.
Usually it is my fault, but this time was not my fault.
I'm very accident-prone, I'm telling you.
I'm often in QMC.
Ah. I fell through a window a couple of years ago,
and I got that stitched up, so I'm OK with needles. Go for it.
Going to put a local anaesthetic.
It's a bit stingy, but... That's OK. ..once the solution is in there...
Ahh!
Erm, that is hurting me very much.
I'm so sorry. It's OK. Ah!
SHE SHOUTS That is sore! Ahh!
Have you bitten your toes yet?
Yeah. SHE LAUGHS
So weird. Oh, my God.
Yo!
THEY LAUGH
I think you've had enough of that. I think you have, as well. Yeah.
I saw unicorns!
I like this. This was funny.
We can take the blocks off.
Just cover yourself up. Get a bit cold. How's that?
OK, thank you.
Thank you.
Oh, dear.
In Resus, Mica is being closely monitored after initial scan results
showed she's broken her jaw,
and has a bleed on her brain.
I keep replaying it in my head. Aww.
Just breathe, cos you're panicking a bit, aren't you?
There are multiple different types of trauma.
There's the physical trauma,
and generally, those things are easier to sort out.
But potentially, there's ongoing,
long-term psychological trauma.
You can develop high levels of anxiety about being out
in public spaces or near roads,
and it can really significantly change the way that
you think and see the world.
I just want to go home. I know you do.
I want you to come home, too.
But you're in the best place here, and I'm not going anywhere, OK?
It's hard being a carer, never mind being a young carer.
Mica's made a lot of sacrifices to help care for Matt,
her step father,
and help me look after her younger sister.
She's had to put plans on hold.
Like university.
She's not doing that now.
Tried her hardest to do her A-levels, as well as care for him,
but her grades went down.
She doesn't have a normal teenage life
like her friends do.
Interesting pub quiz, this. Yeah.
Probably all messaging me going, "Where are you?"
But it's brought us closer together as a family.
Mica's brother and his girlfriend have arrived at A&E...
Hi, Mica-mich.
I've just been run over!
Of course they're not going to be clean.
THEY LAUGH
Hi.
..along with Mica's boyfriend, Leo.
She is OK, Leo.
Causing trouble as usual.
Do I still look pretty? Of course you do.
I wasn't drunk, by the way. I dunno if I believe.
THEY CHUCKLE
Hello. Are you all right? Hello.
There was a test that we did called your lactate, OK?
And that's the acid in your blood.
That was a little bit raised when you came in,
and we sort of watch it quite carefully in trauma,
because it can mean that you're losing blood somewhere.
We've got no evidence you're losing blood anywhere. Yeah.
And the other thing that puts it up is having a couple of cocktails.
So... That is all I've had today, as well.
So, I suspect it's because of that. It's cos of the cocktails.
Not because you're unwell. OK.
We're going to give you a bag of fluid, repeat that test,
and just make sure that comes down. All right? Mm-hm.
Have you got any questions?
No. Thank you. Cheers for that.
Life's changed completely,
but I like to think we take it in our stride now.
Matt certainly is a fighter, that's for sure.
He was initially given six months,
but he's still going strong after five years.
Matt and I just want Mica to get her hopes and dreams one day.
She's been a massive support.
She's a rock, along with her brother and sister.
She's amazing.
So, we're just going to get rid of these blocks now. Yes!
OK. So, just keep your head still for a second while I get them off.
So, if you just look down kind of that way...
Does that feel OK? No. Where is it sore?
Stop, stop, stop. It's just stiff. Oh...
Oh, my gosh. That's it. Just relax, relax, relax.
Look up towards me.
Kind of lift your head up like that.
That's all right. That's all right?
Does that feel all right?
Just stiff.
All right. We're going to move you around the corner now.
You might need to wait for your space on the ward, OK? OK.
Mica will be closely monitored on the neurological ward.
Specialists will also determine if she needs surgery
to fix her broken jaw.
Do I need to see anyone after this, or am I free to go?
Off you go.
You're amazing. Thank you so much.
No worries, my dear.
Alice! She's over there.
Alice!
Got it sorted, darling, OK? Yeah. Thank you.
Go home and sleep well.
I reckon we should either get Nando's or Maccies.
You get Maccies after a night out. Yeah, and Nando's is gross.
OK, so are we saying Maccies after a night out?
I'm thinking nine chicky nuggies.
Nine?
Happy Meal, I need a toy. I need to be happy right now.
I think I'm a bit...frightened.
Is that the right word? Yeah, probably.
In Resus, 61-year-old Crispin has been offered Thrombolysis,
a clot-busting drug, to prevent further damage to his brain.
The drug carries a risk of a bleed on the brain,
and for one in 40 patients, it is fatal.
OK. You need to make a decision.
OK, do it.
OK, sweetheart. So, does that stuff work straight away,
or does it take a while? So...
No, "nermal".
..we need to monitor for any sort of deterioration.
I'm all right. Are you all right, love?
Just a bit tense. Sorry, sorry. Thank you.
Blood, die. I'm going to die.
Is that the right word? Die?
We want to do what is best for you.
I'm frightened.
I think our family is quite used to supporting Cris going
through various health issues,
and generally, I have really good health, so...
..I wasn't expecting to be
diagnosed with breast cancer.
I'm so sorry, Stella.
I'm so sorry for you.
Well, and the other shit that's going on, as well,
that you've got to fucking get, as well.
I was diagnosed this year a few days before my birthday.
It came from a routine scan.
It's just bloody... rather rotten timing.
Cancer - it's such a scary word.
But Cris had said, "I'm quite looking forward
"to looking after you for a change."
Cris was going to be my solid rock this time,
but things can change so quickly.
I just wanted to keep enjoying my creativity
and also, my connection with Cris,
spending time with him and doing things that
we enjoy together, as well...
..while we're here.
Thank you.
Crispin is being transferred to the stroke ward.
Specialists will assess if the Thrombolysis has been successful.
The physical recovery, she's almost over.
But the mental recovery is a bit longer.
I'm not sure how you're supposed to get over something like that.
Hi, guys.
I think the hardest part about all of it
is gaining back my confidence.
It's left me with a lot of anxiety,
just leaving the house.
My main focus is just looking after my step dad,
looking after my family.
Like, I still want to be a football journalist.
I'm just going to take it day by day.
When the doctor phoned me,
I just felt, "Oh, no.
"This is not good."
It was really hard to know whether Cris was going to recover from it,
whether he was going to get another stroke,
and it be worse.
I'm very relieved that it doesn't seem
to have done me permanent damage,
apart from I find it hard to fetch words I want to have lately.
Er, that sort of thing.
I would be devastated if I couldn't play music any more.
It doesn't bear thinking about it.
I'm not going to think about it. HE CHUCKLES
Stella's always looked after me.
So, when her medical issues started,
it was a chance for me to repay that.
One of the hardest things for me was that I was meant to be helping her,
and I found that really difficult to do.
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