1
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,765
This is so sick!
2
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,268
- Knock-knock.
3
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,646
Whoa, amazing!
4
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,690
- It's a hovering surfboard--
all the fun of surfing
5
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:25,901
without any of the chafing
from a sand-filled bathing suit.
6
00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,152
- No, what's amazing is,
7
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:30,698
I finally got that poppy seed
out of my teeth.
8
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,073
- Congrats, Dad.
9
00:00:32,157 --> 00:00:34,660
If it's okay with you
and the poppy seed,
10
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,036
I'm gonna go back to surfing.
11
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:39,915
- Is there room up on that thing
for Sand Doggy?
12
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,375
I always wanted that
to be my nickname
13
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,793
in case I got into surfing.
14
00:00:42,877 --> 00:00:44,419
- Sorry,
but this can't hold
15
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,254
both of us, Dad.
16
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:49,257
Sand Doggy.
17
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,509
- Live a little!
18
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:53,052
Here I come.
19
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:55,263
- I can't control this thing
with both of us on here!
20
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,849
- [crash]
- [grunts]
21
00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:59,309
Oh, bummer.
22
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,811
- It's all right.
23
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,521
I can buy another one-of-a-kind
24
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,314
hovering surfboard.
25
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,234
My name is Richie Rich,
26
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,110
and I'm just a normal kid--
27
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,154
except that I have
a trillion dollars.
28
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,114
You see, I used
all the vegetables I never ate
29
00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,075
to create a new energy source
30
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,118
and sold it
for a lot of money.
31
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,622
Now I live in a huge mansion
with my own amusement park,
32
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,250
race car,
and personal robot maid.
33
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,335
And I have my family and
the best friends in the world
34
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,670
to share my fortune with:
35
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,339
My dad,
my jealous sister, Harper,
36
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:33,176
my money manager, Murray,
and my money spender, Darcy.
37
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:36,055
I guess you could say,
by not eating my vegetables,
38
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,849
I became the richest
and luckiest kid in the world.
39
00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,981
What are you doing?
40
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,566
- Redecorating...
41
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,568
my purse.
42
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,278
- Well, we have a problem.
43
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:52,905
Now that Richie 's
a trillionaire,
44
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,448
he could be a target
for criminals
45
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,533
after his money.
46
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:59,119
Other than you.
47
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,122
I think Richie needs
a security team.
48
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,000
They're not going to be, like,
checking people's bags
49
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:07,168
when they leave the house,
are they?
50
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:10,213
Maybe Richie doesn't need
a security team.
51
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,549
He's already throwing away
a lot of money
52
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,135
at unnecessary hangers-on.
53
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:16,177
Other than you.
54
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,514
Is there a point
to your babbling?
55
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,266
It occurs to me,
56
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,226
since you and I
are always by his side,
57
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,021
we would make
the perfect bodyguards.
58
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:28,148
Yes, criminals will surely
run and hide
59
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:32,193
after laying eyes
on your rippling rib bones.
60
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,613
- That is a medical condition.
61
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:37,032
- Called "scrawny."
62
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,369
- I'm aware
we'll require some training,
63
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,622
but we can hire
a tough military guy
64
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,206
to whip us into shape.
65
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,207
- Well, I'm in.
66
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:47,751
And I'm taking an advance
67
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,211
on my first paycheck.
68
00:02:58,303 --> 00:02:59,220
- Hey, Harp.
69
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,222
Sand Doggy isn't in here,
70
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,349
is he?
71
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,225
- No.
Now run along.
72
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,560
Trying to have some fun.
73
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,521
- You're studying.
74
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,188
- [laughs]
This isn't homework.
75
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,859
I find grammatical errors
in textbooks for kicks.
76
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,068
Like right here?
77
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:15,278
Boom!
Dangling participle!
78
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,950
- What up, offspring?
79
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,869
I found
this awesome online quiz
80
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,245
called
"Which online quiz are you?"
81
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:26,456
I got "Which Hunger Games
sequel are you?"
82
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,582
It nailed me.
83
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,250
I am so that quiz.
84
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,420
- I'm kind of busy,
but Richie just mentioned
85
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,798
he had nothing to do, so...
86
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,092
- Not true, Harper.
87
00:03:37,176 --> 00:03:40,095
I'm reading this textbook!
88
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:44,265
Boom!
Dangling something or other!
89
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:47,310
- So you guys
are doing homework, huh?
90
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,270
Boring!
91
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,106
[laughs]
92
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:52,399
- I am out of here.
93
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,109
The two of you have taken
all the joy
94
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,903
out of proofreading
this textbook.
95
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,696
- Come on, Harper.
96
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,489
Don't go.
97
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:03,451
So looks like
it's just you and me.
98
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,286
Want to go see
what your sister's doing?
99
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,288
- How 'bout we take that quiz?
100
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,290
- Yeah!
Now you're talking.
101
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,334
All right.
Okay.
102
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,922
Which planet best reflects
your personality?
103
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,050
Mars, Jupiter,
104
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,051
or Venus?
105
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:20,886
- Dad!
106
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,345
Fine, Venus.
107
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,223
- Are we done?
- Almost.
108
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:27,142
Only 49 more questions to go.
109
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:31,730
Now, what sound
do you find most soothing?
110
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:34,691
- The sound of your footsteps
leaving my room.
111
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:35,943
[remote beeps]
112
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,527
- What can I do for you,
Master Richie?
113
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,822
- Tell my dad which sound
you find most soothing.
114
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,534
[engine revving]
115
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,495
- I would have to say
the grinding of steel machinery
116
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:52,167
forging lug nuts out of
high-grade aluminum alloy.
117
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:55,378
- I don't see a box for that.
118
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,463
Do you have another...
119
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,424
[stammering]
120
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,177
Pretty.
121
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:03,929
- Do you have any more questions
122
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:04,972
for me, Mr. Rich?
123
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,557
- I, um...
pretty!
124
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,691
- Oh.
125
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,277
Hey, Murray.
126
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,320
I was thinking more
about that security thing,
127
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,573
and I think
it's a good idea.
128
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,326
- Good, because I found a guy
capable of transforming us
129
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,787
into top-notch bodyguards.
130
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,497
- A magician?
- No.
131
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:31,581
His name is Reaper,
132
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,209
and he's a martial arts
world champion,
133
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:35,961
decorated fighter pilot,
134
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,214
and hard-core
Special Forces commando.
135
00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,716
- There are a lot of stairs
in this place.
136
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,137
I counted at least three
on my way from the elevator.
137
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,555
- Who are you?
138
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:48,807
- Reaper.
139
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,976
I'm here to...
[pants]
140
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:51,977
Train you.
141
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,521
- Sir, yes, sir!
142
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:58,233
- You're a martial arts expert
fighter pilot commando?
143
00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,526
I was picturing someone
144
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,195
whose shirt
was covered in medals,
145
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,530
not cheese puff dust.
146
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:04,781
- I happen to hold
the high score
147
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,574
in six fighting games,
148
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:07,951
three flight simulators,
149
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,495
and seven first-person shooters.
150
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,958
- Those are video games!
151
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,002
Murray, get rid of this kid.
152
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,337
- I'm not messing with him.
153
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,505
This guy's a monster.
154
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,218
- Then I'm out of here.
155
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,552
- Do you want me to tell Richie
156
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,429
about that duffel bag
full of cash?
157
00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,432
So what's our first exercise,
sensei?
158
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,563
- [sighs deeply]
Good.
159
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,232
- No Dad.
- Get lost.
160
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,441
- [yelps]
161
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,361
- This hiding spot's taken.
162
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:44,403
- We can't keep living
like this.
163
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,657
I love Dad, but I can't hang out
with him 24 hours a day.
164
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,869
- I can't believe these words
are coming out of my mouth,
165
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,997
but I agree with you.
166
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,457
I mean, I've tried to get him
interested in other things,
167
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,501
but nothing's worked.
168
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,670
- We need something
to occupy his time.
169
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,463
[gasps]
Like a job.
170
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,633
- Okay, let's be realistic.
171
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:08,011
How about a coloring book?
172
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:09,388
- What about a girlfriend?
173
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,098
Someone who could get him
out of the house
174
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,682
but also make him happy.
175
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,518
- Okay, Dad will never agree
to go on a date.
176
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,686
- We'll just trick him
into it,
177
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:20,232
like how we get him
to brush his teeth.
178
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,525
Okay, your plan works
in theory.
179
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,445
But where would we ever find
a woman desperate enough
180
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,529
to go out with him?
181
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:27,655
- The meeting place
182
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,491
of all things
lonely and desperate:
183
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,286
The Internet.
184
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:39,126
- Okay, Harper, let's fill out
Dad's dating profile.
185
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,627
I'll post Irona
at the door
186
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,670
to keep an eye out for him.
187
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,465
- According to my sensors,
he's currently in the pantry
188
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,009
banging on the door
trying to get out.
189
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,636
- Perfect.
190
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:52,139
I've filled out most of
the questions about Dad.
191
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,015
Now I just need to enter
his profession.
192
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,350
None.
193
00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:56,601
And his interests.
194
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:57,602
None.
195
00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:58,812
[computer buzzes]
196
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,521
No matches found.
197
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,482
- The reason you didn't get
any matches
198
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,651
is because you were too honest.
199
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,527
This is the Internet.
Everything is fake.
200
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:10,824
According to my Wiki page,
I'm 6'2", dating Peyton List.
201
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:13,534
- You haven't checked it
recently, have you?
202
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,370
- Sand Doggy is moving.
203
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,579
He's in the elevator.
204
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,539
Okay, you have a second
205
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,625
because he just hit
all of the buttons.
206
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,963
Harper? Richie?
207
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,259
[stammering]
208
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:30,760
Pretty.
209
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:35,682
- Okay, I'm gonna give Dad
a new profile.
210
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:41,146
Profession: Bull rider/
astronaut / international spy.
211
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,731
- Richie, no one's ever going to
believe any of that.
212
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,192
- [computer dinging]
- Look!
213
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,777
Fake Dad got 79 matches.
214
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:49,321
- One problem.
215
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,571
These women are all beautiful,
216
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,866
and we both know
that Dad can't speak
217
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,951
around beautiful women.
218
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,995
Or beautiful robots.
219
00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:57,996
- Aw.
220
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,206
I would be blushing
221
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,541
if I had
a cardiovascular system.
222
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:02,667
- Dad's a fun guy.
223
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,585
We'll find him
an unattractive woman
224
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,629
who he can be comfortable
around.
225
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:11,801
Too pretty.
Too pretty.
226
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,389
Ooh, is that an unsightly mole
on her forehead?
227
00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,558
- That is just dust
on the screen.
228
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,809
- Oh.
229
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,395
Then too pretty.
230
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,604
- What about this Aura woman?
231
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,440
She's hideous, and not only
did she list purple
232
00:09:25,524 --> 00:09:28,693
as an interest,
but she misspelled it.
233
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,487
Perfect.
234
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:35,742
- There, I just set up
a date for tomorrow night.
235
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:36,993
Now what are you doing?
236
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,746
- Correcting my Wiki page.
237
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,748
"Mistreats his help"?
238
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,458
Harper,
why would you write that?
239
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,001
- Yes, Harper.
240
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,711
Why?
241
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,342
- Okay, you pigs.
242
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,843
It's fitness test time.
243
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,220
- This is humiliating.
244
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,348
I can't believe
I'm wearing a poly-cotton blend.
245
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,058
- No more squealing, honey!
246
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,060
- Understood, sir!
247
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,645
- In order to train you, I need
to know what I'm working with,
248
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,441
so do your best
to dodge these birds.
249
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,984
- Oh, I get it now.
250
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:13,780
You have us dressed up
in pig costumes because--
251
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:14,781
[grunts]
252
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,032
Man down.
253
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,494
- [laughs]
A man.
254
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,703
- Look alive!
255
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,914
You guys make me sick.
256
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,042
[groans]
257
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,294
Seriously, my stomach's
258
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,421
really queasy.
259
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,922
- [grunts]
260
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,636
- How is this supposed to
help us?
261
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,054
- Are you questioning
my methods?
262
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,681
- I am questioning
everything about you.
263
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,810
- All I ask of you
is patience.
264
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,688
Well, that and the deposit
for his pig suit.
265
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:50,733
I don't think I'm gonna
be able to return that.
266
00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,826
- [yelps]
267
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,744
- There you are,
you sneaky little bugger.
268
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,455
- Actually, Dad,
I came in here
269
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:04,747
because we need to talk.
270
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,208
I'm having problems at school.
271
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:08,460
- [laughs]
Don't sweat it.
272
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,710
I never did great in school,
273
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,921
and look how I turned out.
274
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,509
Well, my teacher
is sweating it,
275
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,552
so much so she's coming
over here right now
276
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,138
to have an emergency
parent-teacher conference.
277
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,139
- Right now?
278
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,141
But I had plans.
279
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,934
I was gonna play with you.
280
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,769
- I'm sorry, Dad.
281
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,856
School comes before play.
282
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,358
Now, I need you to impress her.
283
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,109
Go put on a suit and tie.
284
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,152
- I don't own a suit.
285
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,571
Unless you count my bear suit.
286
00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:37,780
[doorbell dings]
287
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,948
- Oh, that must be her.
288
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,908
I need you to go put on
a suit I got you.
289
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,036
It's in your closet
next to your fireman costume.
290
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,376
- So far, so good.
291
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,918
Now, time to meet Dad's date.
292
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,671
Bring in the creature!
293
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,925
- Hi.
I'm Aura.
294
00:11:58,009 --> 00:11:59,760
You're not hideous at all!
295
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,055
- Uh...
thank you?
296
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,142
- This is very disappointing.
297
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,061
You're the one person
who's actually prettier
298
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,396
than your online picture.
299
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,105
- [laughing]
Guilty!
300
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,941
I do that to weed out
superficial men only into looks.
301
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,735
- [scoffs]
Is there another kind?
302
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,321
- Excuse us.
What'll we do?
303
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,907
She's gorgeous, and it's
too late to bail on the plan.
304
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,409
- Is Cliff here,
305
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,620
or did he get called away
on a last-minute spy mission?
306
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:26,787
- Spy mission?
307
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,584
Oh, right, because he's a spy.
308
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,961
Well, I'm afraid
that's classified.
309
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,880
- Would you mind
telling your dad I'm here?
310
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,006
- Dad?
311
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,841
Agent Cliff doesn't have
any children.
312
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,968
He comes with no baggage
of any kind.
313
00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:41,969
- I'm not his son.
314
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,556
I'm his CIA handler.
315
00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,099
I'm actually a bit of a prodigy.
316
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,392
[chuckles]
317
00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,185
- That's right,
and I am--
318
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,437
- The help.
319
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,646
- What?
[chuckles]
320
00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:53,231
I'm a little too qualified to--
321
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,773
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you're way too good
322
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,192
for the job you begged for.
323
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,028
Now run along
and fetch Aura a beverage.
324
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,697
I will not.
325
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,824
- If you want Dad to like her,
326
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,827
get her a drink
and spill it on her.
327
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,913
Make her ugly.
328
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,587
I'm a prodigy
at handling spies,
329
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:18,172
but handling house hands,
not my thing.
330
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,633
[chuckles]
331
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,676
Now, because you don't have
secret clearance,
332
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,052
if you mention anything
about spying,
333
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,597
Agent Cliff will act like
he doesn't have a clue.
334
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,847
- Got it.
335
00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:28,849
- Actually,
no matter the subject,
336
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,560
there's a good chance
he'll act like
337
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,020
he doesn't have a clue.
338
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,981
- Oh.
339
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,024
[gasps]
340
00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:38,025
- Harper!
341
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,653
To your maid quarters
342
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,613
to think about what you've done.
343
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,949
I apologize for her.
344
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:49,788
There.
345
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,914
You look perfect.
346
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,294
- Hey, I'm Cliff.
347
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,045
I'd like to apologize for--
348
00:13:58,129 --> 00:13:59,297
- Harper?
349
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,839
I know.
I've already apologized.
350
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,092
- How about we go to the meal?
- Meal?
351
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,178
I didn't know
we were gonna eat.
352
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,221
It's been a while
since I've done one of these.
353
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:08,222
- [chuckles]
354
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:11,476
Your dinner awaits.
355
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,812
Wow.
356
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:14,895
For someone so rusty,
357
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,189
you sure know
what you're doing.
358
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,691
- Thanks.
- [laughs]
359
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,651
- No one's ever said that
to me before.
360
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,735
- Oh.
361
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:22,028
- I don't know about you two,
362
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,072
but I'm seeing fireworks...
363
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:28,075
right out there.
364
00:14:28,159 --> 00:14:29,869
- I can't believe you did
all that for me.
365
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,955
- [chuckles]
Neither can I.
366
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,290
- Well, get out there, kids,
367
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,543
and enjoy your 12-course meal.
368
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:38,252
- I don't think
Aura wants to spend
369
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,129
any more time than she has to.
370
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,130
- Oh, come on.
371
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,717
I've been looking forward
to this.
372
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,927
- That can't be good.
373
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,514
- I'm in serious trouble.
374
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:52,225
That's why I bought this.
375
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,685
- Thanks.
376
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,061
But I don't look good
in necklaces.
377
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,312
Ow!
378
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:57,355
- Well, in that case,
379
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,023
maybe you should give it
to her.
380
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:00,817
Oh.
381
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:04,779
- Come on, you guys.
382
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,364
I need more height
in those sit-ups.
383
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,990
Cheese.
384
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,660
Salsa.
385
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,915
Is that all you guys got?
386
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,000
- Unless you plan on
licking the bowl,
387
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,795
which I imagine you are.
388
00:15:20,879 --> 00:15:22,380
- Way to work those abs.
389
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:25,132
Okay, let's move on
to some martial arts.
390
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:27,802
I'm gonna arm you
with the most specialized moves
391
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:29,888
in existence.
392
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:32,139
- I have some karate experience.
393
00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,974
I signed up when I heard about
the free belts,
394
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,602
but I was done-zo
when I found out
395
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,187
they weren't snakeskin.
396
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:42,066
- I may have to sit this out
as I am currently dealing
397
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,694
with a serious
medical condition.
398
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:45,986
- Called "scrawny."
399
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,988
- [sighs]
Don't worry.
400
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,283
Neither of you will actually
have to do anything.
401
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,118
- That I can handle.
402
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,120
- You're gonna learn these moves
through muscle memory.
403
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:57,498
I will control your bodies
with my controllers.
404
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,542
- How's that going to work?
405
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,961
- Electro-stimulus bodysuits.
406
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,213
They send the signals
from my controllers
407
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,965
directly to your muscles,
turning you into
408
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,967
real, live video game
characters.
409
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:11,429
- Ooh, can I be
the interest rate slasher?
410
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:16,016
That's this awesome character
that pops up on my banking app.
411
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:21,063
- Listen, Reaper, there's no way
these things actually work.
412
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,942
Whoa!
413
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,446
- Stop. Stop!
414
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,739
- Are you hurt?
415
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,449
- Worse.
I'm sweating.
416
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,200
- Actually, so am I.
417
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,161
Pause.
418
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:36,162
- Whoa.
419
00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,872
How'd he do that?
420
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:40,750
- Lose his breath
tapping a controller?
421
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,126
I have no idea.
422
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,548
- Okay, stop.
- We can't.
423
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,133
You're controlling us.
424
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,885
- No, I'm not.
425
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:53,304
- Then how are we doing things
like this?
426
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,474
- Muscle memory.
427
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:57,475
I'm over here playing
428
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,853
Persian Empire Invasion,
429
00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:02,563
and it's really got me
craving falafel.
430
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,231
- So we can actually do
431
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:06,609
all the things
our bodies just did?
432
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,111
- Yep.
My work here is done.
433
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:13,073
Well, it will be
once I get down those stairs.
434
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,159
[sighs deeply]
435
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,122
- Murray,
I got to give you credit.
436
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,291
I doubted you,
but this whole plan of yours
437
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,919
actually worked.
438
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,129
You're a smart guy.
439
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,716
- Nice try, but I'm obligated
to tell Richie
440
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,175
about the duffel bag.
441
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,260
- I understand.
442
00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,264
- Darcy!
443
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,103
- I can't believe
Dad and Aura
444
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:45,940
are actually hitting it off.
445
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,274
- I believe it.
446
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,818
Did you see the size
of that diamond
447
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:50,319
I gave him to give her?
448
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739
[both laughing]
449
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,073
- You know,
I didn't expect to have
450
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,533
this much fun with you tonight.
451
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,243
I just expected
a typical guy
452
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,494
blabbing about his job.
453
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:00,162
[laughing]
454
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:03,207
- It'd be impossible for me
to talk about my job.
455
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:07,670
Aura, you're amazing.
456
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,048
And I wanted to know
457
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,718
if you would like to go out
with me tomorrow.
458
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:15,511
- I'd love to.
459
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,307
By the way, I never asked you:
460
00:18:20,391 --> 00:18:23,269
What problems are you having
with Richie in class?
461
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,270
- Richie?
462
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,147
[both] Uh-oh.
463
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,109
- Okay, Dad--
I mean, Cliff.
464
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,444
Tell Aura you'll see her
tomorrow.
465
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,695
- Have fun on your date!
466
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,947
[quietly]
Don't wear makeup.
467
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,114
- Hold on,
you're not really
468
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,992
a CIA handling prodigy,
are you?
469
00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:41,871
- I'm not at liberty
to confirm or deny that.
470
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,122
- Prodigy?
471
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,583
He's barely passing your class.
472
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,543
- What class?
473
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,336
- Okay, the truth is--
474
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,588
- Richie set you up on a date,
475
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:53,007
and I told him not to,
but he totally did it.
476
00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:55,093
- Someone tell me
what's going on.
477
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:57,595
- Dad, Harper and I
set you guys up on a date
478
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,389
because we needed some space.
479
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,266
- I mean,
we love to spend time with you,
480
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:06,228
but we do need time to ourselves
occasionally.
481
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,605
- You're an amazing dad,
482
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,024
and you deserve someone
other than us in your life
483
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,651
who sees how much fun you are.
484
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,822
- That is one of the sweetest
things I've ever heard.
485
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,156
Cliff,
you must be a great man,
486
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,784
because you raised
one great kid.
487
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,035
- Hello.
[chuckles]
488
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,536
I'm great, too.
489
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,372
- Thanks, guys.
490
00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:28,501
I guess I could give you
a little more space.
491
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:33,255
Aura, still want to
go out on that date?
492
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,257
- I'd love to.
[laughs]
493
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,426
Richie, thanks for
introducing me to your dad,
494
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,262
even if it was
in an incredibly devious way.
495
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:41,514
[laughs]
496
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,849
Come here, you.
497
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,310
- Richie's under attack!
498
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:47,979
- Get her!
499
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,023
[both grunt]
500
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,565
[thudding]
501
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:52,859
- Okay, okay, okay.
502
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,527
Darcy, Murray, stop.
503
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,528
- [exhales]
504
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,865
Threat neutralized.
505
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,616
- She isn't a threat.
506
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,451
- Not anymore.
507
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,787
You owe me one...
508
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,039
thousand dollars.
509
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:08,124
I'll go help myself.
510
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,793
- Aura.
511
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,670
- Are you okay?
- No.
512
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,463
You know, I could tell
you were all crazy people
513
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,215
the second I walked in,
but I figured
514
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,884
the chance of marrying
into this much money
515
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,969
was worth a shot.
516
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,512
It's not.
517
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,105
Well, looks like
it's just us three again.
518
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,316
Want to play?
519
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,442
How 'bout spies?
520
00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:37,111
[as Sean Connery ]
I think Agent Cliff
521
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,405
is a great spy name, huh?
522
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,366
- Good idea!
Okay, Agent Cliff.
523
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:43,993
Orders from base.
524
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,786
Foreign agents
are searching for you,
525
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,288
and you need to go
into hiding.
526
00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:49,289
- Got it.
527
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,209
They'll never find me.
528
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:57,715
Should we get him?
529
00:20:57,798 --> 00:20:59,425
- Nah.