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NETFLIXOVA SERIJA
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SLOBODAN DAN
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Bee?
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Bee?
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Gdje je ta… žena?
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Zapeo sam!
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Nisam zapeo.
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Izradit ću uređaj za praćenje
i natjerati je da ga pojede!
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TRGOVINA
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Ponekad je lijepo
podsjetiti nekoga da ti je važan.
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Dakle…
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Kupuješ im paket
jaja za mikrovalnu? Shvaćam.
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Umjesto jedne lijepe stvari,
kupuješ im puno jeftinih.
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Aha.
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Aha? Jer će ti tako
možda vratiti neke od tih stvari?
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Aha.
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Aha.
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Voliš riječ aha, ha?
Nitko ne voli nositi puno stvari.
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Ovo je dobro. Ali taj čips?
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Čujem da je i to dobro.
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Aha. Baš lijepo.
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Vidiš ove ručnike? Lijepi su.
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Aha, mekani su.
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Vidiš taj sir?
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Čujem da je grozan. Pusti ga. Spusti ga.
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Ne želiš to. Nitko to ne želi.
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Od toga miševi dobivaju infarkt.
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I vi ste ga imali?
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Rekao sam da miševi dobivaju infarkt.
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Ja jedem samo ovo.
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Oho!
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I ja bih to.
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Ovo će ti se svidjeti.
Da ovo stavim u mikrovalnu?
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To radi. Siđi.
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Molim? Siđi!
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Opet.
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Već?
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Psumačko.
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Psumačko!
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Ovdje je neuredno. Mislim, neurednije.
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A ti si zadihan.
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Jesi li uneredio stan u potrazi za mnom?
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Nisam.
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Zabrinuo si se za mene.
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Nije me briga! Radi što želiš!
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Voliš me.
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Ne!
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Nešto sam ti donijela.
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MIKROVALNO JAJE
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Ništa ne želim.
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To je bila vrećica s mikrovalnim jajetom.
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Ne! Upomoć!
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Pusti me na miru.
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Mrzovoljan si
jer si mislio da se neću vratiti?
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Uvijek sam ovdje. Moram imati
vrlo jak razlog da bih izašla.
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Mogu se sam izvući. Hvala najljepša.
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Dobro.
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Mrzovoljan si jer me voliš.
Idem obaviti neke poslove.
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Posljednja prilika.
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Dobro, onda ćeš na trbuhu imati
urezanu crtu od kauča.
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Danas imaš slobodan dan.
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Danas imaš slobodan dan.
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Danas imaš slobodan dan.
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To!
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Što se dog…
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Cas?
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Ne.
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Cas, ne nosi deku na zahod.
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Ako mi ikad opet kažeš
što da radim kad imam slobodan dan,
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ubit ću te.
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BLAGOSLOVI OVAJ NERED
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Fuj! Deka na zahodu?
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Danas ima slobodan dan.
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A ja odlazim odavde.
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Ne. Ako sad odeš, znat će da smo čuli
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i da zato bježimo.
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Otići ću na vršcima prstiju.
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Moramo nastaviti razgovarati
kao da ništa nismo čuli.
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Ne pada mi na pamet nijedna tema.
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Želiš li razgovarati o tepisima?
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Tepisi bi ublažili zvuk koraka.
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Gubite se!
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Napokon!
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Upotrijebit ću
ove maske za lice koje gomilam.
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MOLIM VAS, UPOTRIJEBITE OVO
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Ružu si pretvorio u gadariju.
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Oho! Lijepo je!
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Ovo mi se ne sviđa.
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Zdravo, Cardamone. Što radiš u grmu
prije nego što se razdanilo?
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To je Stickyn zahod.
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Sticky ima lijeni mjehur.
Moram je stisnuti da bi to obavila.
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Nosim je onamo da joj se ne bi rugali.
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Stcky, nemoj!
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Udana si.
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Što bi Pasmačka pomislio?
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Na sve te vlažne poljupce?
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Gdje je Pasmačka?
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Nisam ga vidio od vjenčanja.
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Nezadovoljan je? Želi razvod?
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Ne može ga dobiti.
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Morao bih braniti Stickynu čast.
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I povisiti ti stanarinu.
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Zapeo je ispod kauča
još od doručka i ne želi pomoć.
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KANDIRANI LIMUN I ĐUMBIR
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UKLETI MJEHURASTI UGLJEN
BLATO MJESEČEVOG KRISTALA
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Znala sam da sam čula
tvoj otužni vrisak, Cas.
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Još si prevelika kukavica
da bi se borila s trudnicom.
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Ma što…
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Napokon si hormonalna.
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Netko nije oprao zube.
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Opet sam izgubila,
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a moj protivnik nijedanput me nije udario!
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Bip-bip! Sviđa mi se tvoja punđa.
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Hvala.
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Liječnik si. Smisli tabletu
od koje bih bila nepobjediva.
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Ne.
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Onda mi pomozi u demonskom ritualu
koji će mi udesetostručiti snagu.
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Dobro.
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SLASNO CRVENO
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Zdravo, Cardamone.
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Vraćam se u krevet.
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Reci Psumački da nas posjeti. Naredi mu.
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To nije zamolba.
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Evo me natrag!
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Smijem li ti sad pomoći? Psumačko?
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Gdje ti je…
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Guzica.
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Ne znam bismo li trebali
upotrijebiti ovo. Izgleda opasno.
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Dobro.
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A i Cas ovo voli.
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Naljutit će se ako ih raznesemo.
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To je jako dobro.
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Oprosti, Cas. Kupit ću ti ih još.
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Čula sam to. Nemoj.
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Prinošenjem ove žrtve Zorzoxu,
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koji mi je dao snagu nekoliko pasa,
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udvostručit ću snagu
i obećavam da ću je zlorabiti
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i cijelo vrijeme uživati u njoj.
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Zorzox!
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Zašto ste izvadili moje kobasice?
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Spalit ćemo ih.
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Kupit ću ti druge. Već dugujem Cas sokove.
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Ne duguješ.
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Ne vjeruješ valjda zbilja u ovo?
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Liječnik si.
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Pa dobro je isprazniti hladnjak.
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A ona je jaka. Ne znam…
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Fuj!
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Dušo, je li to krv?
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SLASNO CRVENO
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To su sve moje stvari!
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Moje sjedalo!
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Dobru vam zabavu želim.
Spavat ću dok se ne vrati struja.
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Ovo je novo.
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Samo se ti nadaj.
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Maske za lice su gotove.
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Ajoj.
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Jesi li dobro? Jesam li te ubio?
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Živi!
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Upalilo je!
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LOŠ SIR
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Je li ovo pri kraju?
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Nije još. Mora me pozdraviti
moj zaštitnik s drugog svijeta
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koji će se spojiti s mojim smrtnim tijelom
i privremeno mi dati svoju snagu.
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A onda?
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Onda ću srediti tu budalu
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koja me pobijedila u hodniku
i uzvratiti udarac.
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Netko je u stanu?
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Baš dobro, svi ste budni.
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Fuj! Pusti to!
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Izmlatio sam te natrag u život.
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Dolazim, dušo!
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Padni mi u ruke!
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U moje ruke!
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Želim ovo.
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Je li mrtav? Je li mi u hlačama?
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Mrtav je u mojim hlačama?
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Da.
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Samo želim potpuno razbiti nekog!
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Znam, dušo. To nije pošteno.
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Grozno!
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Pusti da se borim s njim.
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Čekaj, to je Casina deka.
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Bori se!
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Dobro.
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Ha!
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Imam prišt.
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To si ti bila u hodniku?
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Jesam. Pa što?
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Prestani!
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Nitko ne želi razgovarati
o ovom što se upravo dogodilo?
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Želiš li privremeno maženje, Sticky?
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Pogrešno dugme.
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To nije naše, Sticky.
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Ne krademo.
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Siguran sam da će ti tvoj muž Pasmačka
dati puno ljepši prsten.
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Hura, Sticky, najljepša mlada!
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KRAJ!
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Prijevod titlova: Ivan Zorić