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NETFLIX 影集

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劇名：鳥兒朋友

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（問題，解決辦法：不適用）

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哪裡可以弄來刀子？

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嘿，你猜我剛才做了什麼

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那是什麼？

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我不知道

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我在地上找到的
地板沙拉真的都很好吃

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不是啦，我是問那是什麼？

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（小蜂日記）

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這是私密物品

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是啊，我知道，這是我的日記本

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（《不再是小蜂日記》）

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天啊，既漂亮又是偷來的

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這些是我的秘密！

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好啦

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尊重我的隱私！

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好！我懂，等等

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好噁心！

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借過

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借過

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黏黏，不可以！

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早安，梅林！

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（原味脆片）

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（能量飲料）

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看起來沒事

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不！別當機！快運作！

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別這樣！拜託！

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我需要整天待在房間裡的藉口

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凱絲！妳是我認識的最聰明的人！

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我知道

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我需要妳的幫忙！

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我正在…

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我正在處理事情

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拜託！

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我有點忙

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忙碌又聰明

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筆電壞了

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不是，是昏昏欲睡

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看到沒有？睡眠模式

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好吧，那來打鬥吧！

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什麼？

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妳沒聽見我說什麼嗎？

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需要我挺著大肚子大聲告訴妳嗎？

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（凱絲很醜）

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“凱絲很…”

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隨便啦，我不會打孕婦的

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妳不跟我對打的話
我就揍爛妳的房間！

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因為我現在為兩人而戰！好耶！

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好吧，我選擇幫妳

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我就知道

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跟我與我的寶寶對打！

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怪了

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我從沒來過這裡，這裡聞起來…

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聞起來像妳的味道

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妳來過這裡啊

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從來沒有

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這樣啊…

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好吧

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快把他修好

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這是什麼？

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他的身體最近有點軟軟的

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但今天是超級…

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噁心

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我覺得很難為情，不要看我

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我無法忍受被觸摸
那感覺像被千針扎心

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那顆杏仁沾滿很多灰塵

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看起來像李子

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小蜂，妳做了什麼？

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我想應該是妳做了什麼怪事
把這隻貓變成這樣吧？

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我不是貓

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我…萬一是我在睡夢中
翻身把他壓扁的呢？

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人們睡著時會做出很可怕的事

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其實我很喜歡這些灰塵杏仁

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這就像是包藏了驚喜內餡的夾心糖

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我朋友會讓你好起來的

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快吐出來

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果然很怪

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我可以這樣一整天！

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那是什麼聲音？

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天啊，好酷的東西

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要不要幫他澆點水？

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離我遠一點，妳們兩個笨蛋

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梅林是醫生
但我覺得連他也幫不了這玩意兒

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我是一個人

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反正他看起來很開心嘛

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看到沒有？笑一個

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好啦，我搞定了，再見

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沒有電腦，我今天該做什麼？

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不准用妳那可惡的寶寶壓我！

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凱絲，擔心我懷孕增加的體重嗎？

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別那麼做，克里斯賓！

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我就是要這麼做

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你阻止不了我的

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不！你會毀了三明治！

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現在這樣就很完美了！

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你又不會來幫我切，對吧？

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不！

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天啊

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有益寶寶健康！

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凱絲特思佩拉
我絕對會讓妳被送進醫院的

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因為宮縮

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我之前幹嘛要留下來吃洋芋片？

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現在離開又太尷尬了

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笨蛋蠢貨克里斯賓

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笨死了！

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太好了，她們要走了

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妳那顆亂動的大肚腩不要靠近我！

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踢吧，寶貝！快踢！

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（《不再是小蜂日記》）

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幹嘛？

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我怕又再次發生嘛

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什麼會再次發生？

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怕你的身體又變了

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頭部雖然保持不變
但身體會變成其他東西

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我還是好餓

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地上還有其他東西可以吃嗎？

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那是塔可餅嗎？

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不是

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這是完全乾掉的檸檬

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是吃地上食物的關係！

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吃地上的食物會讓你的身體變奇怪！

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你必須吃盤子裡的食物

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休想

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對，休想

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起碼凱絲示範了怎麼把你修好

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對於為母則強
力氣暴增的刻板印象是否正確？

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我們不確定，凱絲

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不如讓妳的子宮說說想法？

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我們應該幫凱絲買一台新筆電

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我不確定她是否知道

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但我今天看到
她使用的那台筆電壞掉了

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但她幫了你耶

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好耶！新電腦！

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做得好！

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過來，狗貓貓，拿一點吧

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搞不好可以吃

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等等

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我忘了，我們現在只吃盤子上的食物

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來不及了，妳准許我吃了

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這些是什麼東西？

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感覺我好像吃了很多沙拉

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許多臨時工已經被指派去

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協助解決苗圃星球上的危機了

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請後退著裝

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你看，還有其他臨時工在這裡

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我想離開

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首先，我們賺點錢吧

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我們也跟著他們做吧

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-喂！
-好可愛！

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你看！

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他過來了，你看他爬上來了

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你是我的新朋友嗎？

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滾開

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你們可以識相地安靜離開
或是被攆出去

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我…什麼？

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真可愛

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應該是吧

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挪一下妳的腳，我想要…

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我還以為是樹根

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這是什麼？樹枝嗎？

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滾開，我們才不付你薪水

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並非事事都跟薪水有關

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有時候你就是得做一些自己想做的事

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或是別人想做的事

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你看史都華人多好，他都在替你做事

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我們會讀心術

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別說你在乎我們

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你滿腦子想的都是稅跟四處亂大便

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我從來都沒有想過那些事情

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我知道你有

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我之前是想找一間廁所啦

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如果我找得到的話

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你四處亂大便

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史都華！

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你剛才是不是說…

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別這麼做

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你剛才是不是說…

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感覺好噁心

180
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我知道妳在想什麼

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而且妳不會拿到薪水的

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好吧，那我們要走了

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什麼？

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喂！不乖！快放下來！

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是什麼在追我們？

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狗貓貓，你是不是…

187
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不准再吃地上的食物了！

188
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喂，你吃了什麼？

189
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沒什麼！別看我！

190
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天啊！

191
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真不敢相信我的初吻就這樣沒了

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喂，告訴我他吃了什麼？

193
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我們不會幫妳
我們甚至不希望你們來這裡

194
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我也不想待在這裡
但我的朋友必須能塞進那嘴裡

195
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否則我們就被困在這裡了

196
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清除完那堆雜草殘枝之前
誰都不准走

197
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千萬別碰，明明沒問題呀

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現在就得處理

199
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否則只會越來越大

200
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已經擴散到仲介太空了

201
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快瞧，史都華做完了，真厲害

202
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幹嘛？

203
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做得好

204
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可以借我這根桿子嗎？

205
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不夠長

206
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你的桿子可以借我嗎？

207
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等我用完之後

208
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,716
但我還要用很久

209
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我不想免費做白工

210
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所以我要慢慢來

211
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時間就是金錢

212
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而我想要錢

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-對，我們也是
-我也是！

214
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我們可不能全像史都華一樣

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我們拔除的速度比生長速度慢

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好吧

217
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好吧，我來吧

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讓開！

219
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我忘記做划船槳了

220
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是凱絲耶

221
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衛斯理，是凱絲！

222
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很好，你在打給她了

223
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凱絲！

224
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凱絲！

225
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糟糕，她又聾了

226
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凱絲！

227
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妳划好快！

228
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妳好，凱絲

229
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梅林啊

230
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,057
我剛才沒看到你

231
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衛斯理在教我釣魚

232
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:19,436
釣魚是爸爸的活動，好無聊

233
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,479
妳要一起來嗎？

234
00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:21,522
不了

235
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:24,233
我想回去工作，但被這東西擋住了

236
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,402
沒錯，我也釣到了類似東西

237
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,487
衛斯理說這些是小蜂的東西

238
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:29,905
對，我看得出來

239
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,782
這跟她房間裡的東西很配

240
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,283
再見了

241
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,327
等等！我們可以載妳一程！

242
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,665
真希望我喜歡當醫生的程度

243
00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,793
就像凱絲喜歡坐在電腦前一樣

244
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,670
別擋我的路！

245
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:26,003
快可以了，再來幾根桿子就行了

246
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,589
已經沒有了

247
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:33,802
我明明這麼努力了

248
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,306
但就算我費盡千辛萬苦，還是不夠

249
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:38,724
我們被困在這裡了

250
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:42,227
妳很小隻
可以通過仲介機器人的嘴巴

251
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:44,980
無所謂了，現在我們住在這裡了

252
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,983
讓開！

253
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,819
看看我的新殼，我們很喜歡

254
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,405
抱歉那麼麻煩妳

255
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,032
妳可以離開了

256
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,242
不，我不能走

257
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,911
可以，妳走吧！

258
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,246
快滾！

259
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,334
噁心

260
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:10,339
妳是因為妳的大塊頭朋友
所以才不能離開

261
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,091
我不知道該怎麼辦

262
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,301
我不知道該怎麼讓他恢復正常

263
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,012
我不懂他幹嘛一直亂吃東西

264
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,098
搞得他軟糊糊又怪怪的

265
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,266
我…

266
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,184
這樣啊！

267
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:23,519
我們可以告訴妳

268
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:28,398
不！

269
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,443
別告訴我

270
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,363
他情緒性進食的原因是他的秘密

271
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,448
如果他願意，自然會告訴我

272
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:40,202
我們至少可以告訴妳
他吃掉的是一隻舊襪子

273
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:42,454
騙子！我吃的是一根麵條！

274
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,081
我們才不說謊！

275
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:47,751
我們根本沒辦法說謊

276
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,170
我經常說謊呀，很好玩

277
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,090
對我跟被我騙的對象來說都很好玩

278
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,216
我跟他們說我病了

279
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,761
然後我一聲不響地偷偷搬去別的城鎮

280
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,096
過了一陣子

281
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:01,974
以為我死掉的老朋友們
看見我上電視了

282
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:06,228
還頭戴一頂顏色超級適合我的新帽子

283
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:10,065
你們都是騙子！

284
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:14,236
狗貓貓，你不想說的話
什麼都不必告訴我

285
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:17,156
我只是擔心你的祕密
導致你情緒性進食

286
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:18,824
進而傷害你的身體

287
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,284
我只是希望你知道

288
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:24,079
無論你跟我說什麼
都不會影響我對你的看法

289
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:25,956
因為…

290
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:27,583
我有點笨

291
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,002
我說出口了，這是我唯一的秘密

292
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,296
現在你對我瞭若指掌了

293
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:37,217
其實那不算秘密

294
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,512
妳只是偶爾對於某些事情比較笨

295
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:44,016
再說了，大家都笨笨的

296
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,935
每個人的笨法不同

297
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,855
所以這不是秘密

298
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,608
而是普世真理

299
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,443
我愛你，狗貓貓

300
00:19:55,986 --> 00:20:01,950
我們有大麻煩了！

301
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:03,535
什麼？

302
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,537
我一直都深陷麻煩之中

303
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:06,788
但現在妳在我身邊

304
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:10,292
那些本來在追著我的東西
現在也對我們緊追不放

305
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:14,046
我之前不想告訴妳

306
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,173
但現在我對妳全盤托出！

307
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:17,174
天啊！

308
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:19,509
狗貓貓，你哭的時候好醜

309
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,596
妳有什麼毛病？

310
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:37,778
天啊！感覺你現在好輕盈！

311
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,031
很好，快滾吧！

312
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,083
看來他們真的不付我們薪水

313
00:20:56,171 --> 00:20:57,923
我發現了這個

314
00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,549
覺得應該拿回來給妳

315
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:01,802
我也有東西要給妳

316
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:03,971
今天妳真的幫了我們大忙

317
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:05,764
其實妳沒必要對我們這麼好

318
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,391
不用了，謝謝，我不想要…

319
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,475
等等

320
00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,482
沒錯，我超級想要這個

321
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:17,317
兩個都要嗎？

322
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,695
好的

323
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:23,240
妳過得好嗎？

324
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:25,867
我好久沒跟妳好好聊一聊了

325
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,244
對

326
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:30,247
自從妳逼戴可離開後
我就沒跟別人好好聊過了

327
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:33,959
好吧

328
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,168
再見

329
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:37,921
等等，我…

330
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,881
今天我的初吻沒了

331
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,760
跟那隻鳥嗎？

332
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:47,347
我認為那不算數，因為鳥沒有嘴唇

333
00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:49,933
沒錯

334
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:50,976
妳好聰明

335
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:52,769
再見

336
00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:57,774
黏黏，不可以！

337
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,609
喂！那是我的男朋友！

338
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:02,779
我是說，鳥兒朋友！

339
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:13,790
黏黏，妳不能一直把鳥囤積起來

340
00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,375
還把牠們關在妳的監獄裡

341
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,465
牠們大多數都是無辜的

342
00:22:23,383 --> 00:22:24,593
大多數啦

343
00:22:25,969 --> 00:22:26,887
（結局！）

344
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,917
字幕翻譯：許晨翎