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[students chattering]
4
00:01:14,993 --> 00:01:16,728
Hey.
Hey.
5
00:01:57,135 --> 00:01:58,536
Yes.
6
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,541
[horse whinnies]
7
00:02:03,674 --> 00:02:05,576
[college president]
My mandate is to restore
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00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:09,881
some semblance of fiscal sanity
to this institution.
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00:02:10,949 --> 00:02:13,185
And if we're all
honest with each other,
10
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:14,953
we know that for a long time,
11
00:02:15,086 --> 00:02:19,791
this festival has been
a costly exercise in nostalgia.
12
00:02:19,925 --> 00:02:24,095
So if Professors
Cleary and Wasserman
deign to show up,
13
00:02:24,229 --> 00:02:25,764
then you can pass this along.
14
00:02:25,897 --> 00:02:27,331
[door opens]
15
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,466
Sorry I'm late.
16
00:02:30,135 --> 00:02:31,569
Horse trouble.
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00:02:34,605 --> 00:02:35,740
[college president]
Dr. Wasserman,
18
00:02:35,874 --> 00:02:37,742
I've decided that the university
19
00:02:37,876 --> 00:02:39,744
must immediately
withdraw its support
20
00:02:39,878 --> 00:02:41,478
for the Annual
Literary Festival.
21
00:02:41,612 --> 00:02:43,949
I know you're all disappointed.
22
00:02:44,082 --> 00:02:45,784
But let's be
honest with ourselves.
23
00:02:45,917 --> 00:02:49,520
We can't even attract
a writer with enough stature
24
00:02:49,653 --> 00:02:52,123
to inspire
even modest attendance.
25
00:02:52,257 --> 00:02:55,760
I remember
when all the great ones
used to come here.
26
00:02:55,894 --> 00:02:56,694
Updike.
27
00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:59,231
[laughs]
That was a banner year.
28
00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:01,233
We--
We should invite him.
29
00:03:01,365 --> 00:03:03,034
He's dead, Arthur.
30
00:03:03,168 --> 00:03:05,070
[Arthur]
Oh, That's sad.
31
00:03:06,137 --> 00:03:09,107
[panting]
Wait, where are you going?
Wait, wait, wait.
32
00:03:09,241 --> 00:03:10,474
[Wasserman] You're too late.
33
00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:13,178
The axe has fallen on
our literary enterprise,
34
00:03:13,311 --> 00:03:16,948
and before you stands
the grim figure
of the executioner.
35
00:03:17,082 --> 00:03:20,517
Oh, so you're willing to
give up the literary event
of the decade.
36
00:03:20,651 --> 00:03:22,553
I'm sorry, Professor.
I've made my decision.
37
00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:26,791
Really? So what if I told you
that the man who is coming
to this year's festival
38
00:03:26,925 --> 00:03:29,627
will put us back
on the literary map?
39
00:03:29,761 --> 00:03:31,595
I can't imagine
who that might be.
40
00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:34,498
Excuse me,
isn't that sort of your job?
I just--
41
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:37,836
[Wasserman]
Okay, Simone, who is it?
42
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:42,506
Who's the writer that went MIA,
43
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:49,247
vanished, for 20 years
after the publication
of his masterpiece?
44
00:03:49,381 --> 00:03:52,217
J.D. Salinger. It's Salinger!
45
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:53,584
Dead, Arthur.
46
00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:55,754
Shriver.
47
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:56,888
Shriver.
48
00:03:57,022 --> 00:03:58,189
Shriver?
49
00:03:58,323 --> 00:04:00,524
Shriver?
I thought he was dead.
50
00:04:09,935 --> 00:04:13,905
Shriver,
it's the goddamn toilet again.
51
00:04:23,782 --> 00:04:24,983
Can you hurry up?
52
00:04:25,116 --> 00:04:27,118
I'm about to
miss my window here.
53
00:05:08,093 --> 00:05:09,127
[meows]
54
00:05:38,056 --> 00:05:39,824
[Shriver] I got this letter.
55
00:05:40,792 --> 00:05:42,193
You got a letter?
56
00:05:43,294 --> 00:05:45,196
Now, are you in trouble?
57
00:05:47,698 --> 00:05:50,068
"Dear, Mr. Shriver,
it is my pleasure
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00:05:50,201 --> 00:05:53,604
on behalf of the festival
committee of Acheron University
59
00:05:53,738 --> 00:05:58,209
to invite you to participate
in our literary festival
this year."
60
00:05:58,343 --> 00:06:01,880
Invite-- Wait a minute,
you to participate?
61
00:06:02,514 --> 00:06:03,680
"As your work..."
62
00:06:03,815 --> 00:06:06,985
[laughing]
"...your work is controversial."
63
00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:09,120
What do they mean?
I don't--
I don't know.
64
00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:12,424
I-- I think they think
I'm someone else.
I don't know.
65
00:06:12,556 --> 00:06:16,227
"The theme of which
is Truths, Fictions
and Alternative Facts.
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00:06:16,361 --> 00:06:21,166
It's al-- It's also,
auspiciously,
the 20th anniversary
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00:06:21,299 --> 00:06:25,003
of the publication
of your masterpiece,
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00:06:25,804 --> 00:06:27,038
Goat Time.
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00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,573
We are also
pleased to award you
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00:06:29,707 --> 00:06:34,012
this year's Acher--
Acheron Prize
for Literary Achievement.
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00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:37,749
Sincerely,
Professor Simone Cleary."
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00:06:41,086 --> 00:06:43,587
[Shriver] Goat Time.
What kind of title is that?
73
00:06:43,721 --> 00:06:46,191
You don't know Goat Time?
No, I don't know Goat Time.
74
00:06:46,324 --> 00:06:49,626
I mean, like,
everybody read Goat Time, man.
75
00:06:49,761 --> 00:06:51,595
That lady,
she read Goat Time.
76
00:06:51,729 --> 00:06:53,998
This dude--
Hey, did you read Goat Time?
77
00:06:54,132 --> 00:06:55,300
Goat Time?
78
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,668
What's it about?
79
00:06:57,802 --> 00:06:59,537
What?
Goat Time.
80
00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,239
I don't know.
I didn't read it.
81
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:06,845
[Shriver]
Someone's messing with me.
82
00:07:06,978 --> 00:07:08,046
Yeah?
83
00:07:08,947 --> 00:07:11,015
Maybe it's one of
my ex-wife's friends.
84
00:07:11,583 --> 00:07:13,718
Maybe.
Nah.
85
00:07:13,852 --> 00:07:16,421
Look, I know how to settle this.
86
00:07:16,554 --> 00:07:19,324
[server] Are you finished?
Oh, hey, yeah.
How are you? Yeah.
87
00:07:19,457 --> 00:07:20,691
Thank you.
88
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,863
One way
to get to the bottom of this...
89
00:07:25,597 --> 00:07:28,867
"Dear Mrs..."
90
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,504
No, that don't sound good.
91
00:07:32,636 --> 00:07:36,107
"Dear... Professor."
92
00:07:36,241 --> 00:07:37,475
Right? Right?
93
00:07:37,942 --> 00:07:39,777
No, no, no, no, no.
94
00:07:40,278 --> 00:07:44,215
"Dear Dr. Clearly,
95
00:07:44,883 --> 00:07:46,017
it would be..."
96
00:07:46,151 --> 00:07:47,619
[Simone]
"...my pleasure to attend
97
00:07:47,785 --> 00:07:50,555
your most esteemed
and prestigious festival
98
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:54,325
and to address the issues
of Truths, Fictions
and Alternative Facts,
99
00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:56,794
which is totally my thing.
100
00:07:56,928 --> 00:08:00,064
Uh, In fact, I was carrying on
to my good friend, Lenny,
101
00:08:00,198 --> 00:08:03,735
about that
aforementioned subject
just this morning.
102
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:07,105
Also, is the prize a car?
[chuckles]
103
00:08:07,972 --> 00:08:10,341
Just wondering because..."
104
00:08:12,310 --> 00:08:13,444
Okay.
105
00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:18,383
Well, he goes on
about the car and, uh...
106
00:08:18,516 --> 00:08:20,151
[chuckling]
107
00:08:22,854 --> 00:08:26,925
We're all very familiar
with Mr. Shriver's
subversive sense of humor.
108
00:08:27,058 --> 00:08:30,828
You know,
I recall reading
an article about Shriver
109
00:08:30,962 --> 00:08:34,698
several years ago in a--
in a journal--
I can't remember which one.
110
00:08:34,832 --> 00:08:36,634
It was
The Journal of
Comparative Linguistics.
111
00:08:36,768 --> 00:08:38,336
It doesn't really matter.
112
00:08:38,469 --> 00:08:41,806
But the article was
making an interesting
point of comparison
113
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:43,508
between...
I wrote the article.
114
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:46,211
...Shriver's Goat Time
and James Joyce's Ulysses.
115
00:08:46,344 --> 00:08:48,279
Now--
I wrote the fucking article, T.
116
00:08:48,413 --> 00:08:49,581
Oh, really?
117
00:08:49,714 --> 00:08:52,450
I still don't think
that this is a very good idea.
118
00:08:52,584 --> 00:08:54,686
Yeah, he sounds like a lunatic.
119
00:08:54,852 --> 00:08:57,188
[sighs]
And this the world calls frenzy.
120
00:08:57,322 --> 00:09:00,391
But the wise
have a far deeper madness,
121
00:09:00,525 --> 00:09:04,963
and the glance of melancholy
is a fearful gift.
122
00:09:05,396 --> 00:09:06,798
Byron, right?
123
00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:08,066
[Simone] Let's give up.
124
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:11,002
Just keep churning out
worthless degrees
125
00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:13,271
to anyone
who will pay the tuition.
126
00:09:13,404 --> 00:09:16,608
One year, I--
I invited Philip Roth.
127
00:09:16,741 --> 00:09:17,976
Fine.
128
00:09:18,576 --> 00:09:20,245
But this is on you, Simone.
129
00:09:21,045 --> 00:09:23,548
Bring Shriver and bring a crowd,
130
00:09:23,681 --> 00:09:27,418
because this is
the last chance
for this festival.
131
00:09:28,753 --> 00:09:30,355
He never wrote back.
132
00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:34,325
[Simone] Dear Mr. Shriver,
133
00:09:34,459 --> 00:09:36,327
I can't tell you
how delighted we all are
134
00:09:36,461 --> 00:09:38,429
that you've accepted
our invitation.
135
00:09:38,563 --> 00:09:41,566
Write her back.
Tell her I'm not coming.
You write her back.
136
00:09:41,699 --> 00:09:43,434
I'm not a writer.
137
00:09:43,568 --> 00:09:45,870
[Simone] It's so hard
to keep these festivals alive,
138
00:09:46,004 --> 00:09:47,872
so your response
has lifted our spirits.
139
00:09:48,006 --> 00:09:49,440
[Lenny]
Everyone's a writer these days.
140
00:09:49,574 --> 00:09:51,676
When was the last time
you went to Starbucks?
141
00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:55,013
[Simone] On behalf of lovers
of literature
everywhere, I thank you.
142
00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:57,348
And I hope
this is not too forward of me,
143
00:09:57,482 --> 00:09:59,250
but it would be wonderful
if you could perhaps
144
00:09:59,384 --> 00:10:01,519
share a piece
of new writing with us.
145
00:10:01,653 --> 00:10:03,955
[Shriver] I don't write.
[Lenny] Most writers
don't write.
146
00:10:04,088 --> 00:10:06,057
All they do is complain
about not writing,
147
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,159
then they write about
not writing.
148
00:10:09,294 --> 00:10:12,130
And they're depressed.
You're always depressed.
149
00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:31,249
[liquid pattering]
150
00:10:39,057 --> 00:10:42,527
[imaginary Shriver]
Looks like we're having
a crisis of inspiration.
151
00:10:43,461 --> 00:10:44,495
Mmm.
152
00:10:46,698 --> 00:10:49,834
Oh, I know,
it's that you're a drunk
153
00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:52,337
and an impostor.
154
00:10:56,775 --> 00:10:59,844
You just happen to
share a name
with the writer.
155
00:11:00,912 --> 00:11:02,447
The arrogance.
156
00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:05,483
They asked me
to write something.
157
00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:07,018
It's ridiculous.
158
00:11:07,151 --> 00:11:09,020
Put down the pencil,
159
00:11:10,388 --> 00:11:11,489
have a drink.
160
00:11:24,837 --> 00:11:28,373
[cracking, rumbling]
161
00:11:36,147 --> 00:11:38,149
[narrator] The watermark
appeared on my ceiling
162
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:41,452
on the rainy day
my wife walked out on me.
163
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,461
At first it was just a spot,
164
00:11:50,595 --> 00:11:52,930
approximately the size
of a quarter,
165
00:11:53,064 --> 00:11:56,134
directly above the bed
where I lay weeping.
166
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,169
[rain pattering]
Listening to the rain fall,
167
00:11:58,302 --> 00:11:59,805
I watched the watermark grow
168
00:11:59,937 --> 00:12:02,907
ever so slowly
to the size of...
[trailing off]
169
00:12:25,563 --> 00:12:27,465
[pilot]
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Salt Lake City.
170
00:12:27,598 --> 00:12:31,102
Those with connecting flights
to Acheron
proceed to gate 17.
171
00:12:31,936 --> 00:12:33,171
Sorry.
172
00:12:34,005 --> 00:12:36,541
Oh, my God! Sorry, honey.
173
00:12:37,074 --> 00:12:39,143
[passengers chattering]
174
00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:47,051
Yep. Okay.
175
00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:51,422
[grunts]
176
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,461
[PA dings]
177
00:12:56,594 --> 00:12:57,995
Hey.
Hi.
178
00:12:58,629 --> 00:12:59,964
Oh, my God.
179
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:20,518
[grunts]
180
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:35,466
Ma'am.
What? What? Sorry.
181
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,369
Do you need to
go to the lavatory?
No.
182
00:13:39,136 --> 00:13:40,438
Are-- Are you gonna vomit?
183
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:44,575
I was, uh, wondering
if you could do me a favor.
184
00:13:45,911 --> 00:13:47,345
Can you read this?
185
00:13:48,747 --> 00:13:50,916
What the hell?
Is this some kind of test?
186
00:13:51,048 --> 00:13:54,285
No. I mean, is it legible?
187
00:14:05,062 --> 00:14:06,732
Your penmanship is terrible.
188
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:15,673
"The watermark
appeared on my ceiling..."
189
00:14:17,943 --> 00:14:19,176
That's right.
190
00:14:21,212 --> 00:14:22,480
Are you a writer?
191
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:26,050
Nah.
192
00:14:30,254 --> 00:14:31,857
I know who you are.
193
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:34,358
You do?
Yes, I do.
194
00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:37,662
See?
195
00:14:37,796 --> 00:14:41,632
Well, I mean,
it doesn't exactly
look like you, does it?
196
00:14:41,767 --> 00:14:44,135
You-- You seem to
let yourself go a little bit,
197
00:14:44,268 --> 00:14:50,474
but this is the only picture
anyone has ever seen
of the mysterious Shriver.
198
00:14:52,778 --> 00:14:53,745
I'm Delta Jones.
199
00:14:53,879 --> 00:14:55,013
Hi.
200
00:14:55,146 --> 00:14:57,281
I-- I'm also writing
a memoir myself.
201
00:14:58,616 --> 00:15:00,384
I go to this festival
every year.
202
00:15:00,518 --> 00:15:03,120
Oh, and actually,
if you wouldn't mind...
203
00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:09,795
[exhales]
...I'd really appreciate it
if you could sign this.
204
00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:12,898
You know what's crazy?
205
00:15:13,031 --> 00:15:15,901
I wasn't even gonna go
to the festival this year.
206
00:15:16,735 --> 00:15:18,971
Then I found out
that you were coming,
207
00:15:19,103 --> 00:15:21,372
and I was like,
boom, there it is.
208
00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:25,242
That's the sign.
That's what I said. I was like,
"That is the sign," you know,
209
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:29,280
because Shriver,
he will understand my work.
Yeah.
210
00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:32,450
[sighs]
So, yeah, let me just
help you out here, um--
211
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:36,088
If you could,
just say it, "To Delta,"
like, right in that area.
212
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:40,391
And-- And, please, can you
try to make it remotely legible?
That'd be great.
213
00:15:48,399 --> 00:15:51,435
I-- I can't. Sorry. I can't.
214
00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:52,637
What?
215
00:15:53,872 --> 00:15:55,172
Maybe later?
216
00:15:55,907 --> 00:15:57,375
O-- Okay. Yeah.
217
00:15:57,508 --> 00:15:59,711
[PA dings]
[flight attendant on PA]
Flight attendants,
218
00:15:59,845 --> 00:16:00,678
prepare for landing.
219
00:16:00,812 --> 00:16:03,782
["Na Na Na"
playing on car radio]
220
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:09,921
♪ Your head
Filling up with his words ♪
221
00:16:15,127 --> 00:16:16,661
[Delta] So, my memoir...
222
00:16:16,795 --> 00:16:19,463
if you wouldn't mind taking
a little peek at it.
[grunts]
223
00:16:19,597 --> 00:16:21,365
It's a quick read.
224
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:23,702
Uh, here you go.
225
00:16:23,835 --> 00:16:25,771
Uh-- [grunts]
226
00:16:25,904 --> 00:16:28,940
Oh, my God,
I hope you're not offended
by the graphic sex.
227
00:16:29,841 --> 00:16:31,143
Wait a minute.
What am I talking about?
228
00:16:31,275 --> 00:16:32,576
Of course you wouldn't be.
229
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:45,523
Shriver? Mr. Shriver?
230
00:16:46,357 --> 00:16:48,626
Excuse me, Miss. I gotta...
[clerk] Mm-hmm.
231
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,595
I need to get on the next flight
back to New York.
232
00:16:51,730 --> 00:16:52,731
Hmm.
233
00:16:52,864 --> 00:16:55,867
Yeah. Let me see
what I can do for you.
234
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:59,403
I can get you on a flight
about an hour from now.
Does that work?
235
00:17:13,719 --> 00:17:17,956
[Simone]
Vodka martini, slightly dirty,
three olives, please.
236
00:17:23,161 --> 00:17:24,395
[sighs]
237
00:17:27,431 --> 00:17:28,666
Kangaroo.
238
00:17:32,303 --> 00:17:33,537
Excuse me?
239
00:17:35,107 --> 00:17:39,677
Well, martinis with gin
with vodka,
it's a kangaroo.
240
00:17:41,378 --> 00:17:45,784
Well, I'm gonna enjoy
this vodka martini
241
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:50,654
and then I just might order
another vodka martini.
242
00:17:51,923 --> 00:17:52,958
Sure.
243
00:17:54,159 --> 00:17:56,828
Of course, if you go into
a bar these days
and ask for a kangaroo,
244
00:17:56,962 --> 00:18:01,499
you get some beer jockey
with a man bun looking at
you like you're insane,
245
00:18:01,632 --> 00:18:04,535
so, you probably better off
just calling it, uh...
246
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,004
Yeah.
247
00:18:06,138 --> 00:18:07,172
Oh.
248
00:18:08,472 --> 00:18:13,044
Now that I have your permission,
this whole exchange
was meaningless.
249
00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:15,312
Oh...
250
00:18:16,114 --> 00:18:17,581
I suppose it was.
251
00:18:17,716 --> 00:18:18,817
Thank you.
252
00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:21,086
Yeah, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to intrude.
253
00:18:21,219 --> 00:18:22,653
Can we not talk?
254
00:18:38,136 --> 00:18:39,370
[grunts]
255
00:18:39,938 --> 00:18:41,305
You like to read?
256
00:18:42,373 --> 00:18:43,975
No, not really.
257
00:18:44,109 --> 00:18:46,044
Oh, Okay, well, try it.
258
00:18:47,813 --> 00:18:49,915
Or just give it to someone.
259
00:19:05,864 --> 00:19:06,898
[Simone sighs]
260
00:19:23,014 --> 00:19:24,049
Hey.
261
00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:28,352
Excuse me, uh--
262
00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:32,257
Are you Professor Cleary?
263
00:19:32,389 --> 00:19:34,726
["Juno" playing
on car radio]
264
00:19:35,727 --> 00:19:39,396
♪ I miss my ride ♪
265
00:19:39,530 --> 00:19:40,698
♪ Take it all in stride... ♪
266
00:19:40,832 --> 00:19:43,567
I suppose I owe you
an apology.
267
00:19:47,205 --> 00:19:48,405
[tires screech]
268
00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:49,941
[music stops]
269
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:53,510
None of that ever happened.
270
00:19:54,411 --> 00:19:55,479
Okay.
271
00:19:55,613 --> 00:19:58,850
I need you to behave
for three days.
272
00:20:00,118 --> 00:20:01,518
Can you do that?
273
00:20:03,487 --> 00:20:04,421
Yeah.
274
00:20:04,555 --> 00:20:05,790
I need you to be
275
00:20:05,924 --> 00:20:08,492
the man who wrote
one brilliant novel.
276
00:20:10,195 --> 00:20:15,699
And then you can go back
to whatever hole that
you have been hiding in.
277
00:20:22,539 --> 00:20:23,808
[sighs]
278
00:20:26,477 --> 00:20:27,812
And there's no car.
279
00:20:31,249 --> 00:20:32,616
The prize.
280
00:20:33,285 --> 00:20:36,788
It's a shitty crystal plaque.
281
00:20:38,290 --> 00:20:39,623
[exhales]
282
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:47,498
[cheerleaders chattering]
283
00:20:51,535 --> 00:20:53,637
Let's see, Shriver.
[mouse clicking]
284
00:20:53,772 --> 00:20:57,809
Shriver. Shriver. Shriver.
285
00:21:00,345 --> 00:21:01,645
Shriver.
286
00:21:03,014 --> 00:21:03,815
[sighs]
287
00:21:03,949 --> 00:21:05,283
How long can this possibly--
Ha!
288
00:21:05,417 --> 00:21:07,551
Here you are, Mr. Shriver.
289
00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:09,120
And your room
is already paid for.
290
00:21:09,254 --> 00:21:11,856
May I just see a credit card
for incidentals?
291
00:21:13,291 --> 00:21:14,558
I don't have one.
292
00:21:16,227 --> 00:21:19,030
I'm afraid
that's not possible, sir.
293
00:21:19,931 --> 00:21:20,865
Uh,
294
00:21:20,999 --> 00:21:24,069
it is. It's-- It's possible.
295
00:21:28,505 --> 00:21:30,141
I just never got one.
296
00:21:32,978 --> 00:21:34,779
[clerk]
That will work. Thank you.
297
00:21:37,248 --> 00:21:38,283
[card machine beeps]
298
00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:40,752
Room service is until 8:00 p.m.
299
00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:44,022
The Rabbit Hole is open
from 7:00 a.m. till midnight.
300
00:21:44,155 --> 00:21:45,290
And this is your tote.
301
00:21:45,423 --> 00:21:46,623
Thank you.
302
00:21:46,758 --> 00:21:50,028
Everything you need
is in here.
303
00:21:52,897 --> 00:21:54,598
Your have your schedule.
304
00:21:58,003 --> 00:22:02,941
And, um, discount coupons
for businesses in town.
305
00:22:03,742 --> 00:22:04,843
Yeah, sure.
306
00:22:04,976 --> 00:22:07,278
I'll come get you
in the morning.
307
00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,181
Yeah.
308
00:22:11,216 --> 00:22:12,250
[Simone] Thank you.
309
00:22:16,388 --> 00:22:18,390
What are--
What are incidentals?
310
00:22:19,257 --> 00:22:23,660
For room service,
any extra costs to the room.
311
00:22:24,595 --> 00:22:25,997
Oh, right.
Mm-hmm.
312
00:22:27,065 --> 00:22:29,267
I won't do that.
I won't do that.
313
00:22:40,111 --> 00:22:41,179
[mutters]
314
00:22:46,451 --> 00:22:47,485
[lock rattles]
315
00:22:47,618 --> 00:22:48,685
What the heck?
316
00:22:48,820 --> 00:22:50,755
Come on.
[lock rattles]
317
00:22:51,423 --> 00:22:52,656
Come on.
318
00:22:53,425 --> 00:22:54,959
Jesus Christ.
319
00:22:56,027 --> 00:22:57,328
Hey, you.
320
00:22:58,430 --> 00:23:00,799
What's going on?
Do you need help with that?
321
00:23:01,698 --> 00:23:03,567
No.
You've got to be careful,
322
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:07,138
'cause with these old locks,
you've got to actually
turn it to the left.
323
00:23:08,173 --> 00:23:09,841
Ah, there you go.
324
00:23:11,142 --> 00:23:15,013
Oh, my God!
Why did they not give you
a nicer room than this?
325
00:23:15,146 --> 00:23:17,148
[Shriver]
Oh, really, I'll be fine.
326
00:23:17,282 --> 00:23:19,851
Oh, my God, you know what?
Take my room.
327
00:23:19,984 --> 00:23:23,488
Oh, my God, please, please,
just take my room.
It's way nicer than this.
328
00:23:23,620 --> 00:23:25,890
Look at that old TV.
Criminal.
329
00:23:26,024 --> 00:23:27,792
I'll be fine.
All right?
330
00:23:27,926 --> 00:23:29,761
You sure?
I'm sure. Thank you.
331
00:23:29,894 --> 00:23:32,297
Okay. Well, just let me know
if you need anything. Okay?
332
00:23:32,430 --> 00:23:33,565
I'll do that.
All right.
333
00:23:33,697 --> 00:23:37,601
[breathes deeply]
334
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,816
[imaginary Shriver]
You almost blew it with that
lovely professor back there.
335
00:23:51,950 --> 00:23:56,754
How much longer do you think
you can keep selling this farce
to everyone else?
336
00:24:02,494 --> 00:24:04,062
Not long, I imagine.
337
00:24:04,996 --> 00:24:06,131
Hmm.
338
00:24:07,031 --> 00:24:09,968
That tag around your neck,
that's a nice touch.
339
00:24:14,973 --> 00:24:17,008
I only wonder
if your little deception
340
00:24:17,142 --> 00:24:20,111
plays out as comedy
or a tragedy.
341
00:24:22,380 --> 00:24:23,982
Is there any difference?
342
00:24:39,898 --> 00:24:41,733
[narrator] The watermark
appeared on my ceiling
343
00:24:41,866 --> 00:24:46,571
on the rainy day
my wife walked out on me.
[door opens, closes]
344
00:24:46,704 --> 00:24:48,806
At first it was just a spot,
345
00:24:48,940 --> 00:24:51,709
approximately the size
of a quarter,
346
00:24:51,843 --> 00:24:54,846
directly above the bed
where I lay weeping.
347
00:24:56,181 --> 00:24:59,184
Listening to the rain fall,
I watched the watermark grow
348
00:24:59,317 --> 00:25:02,787
ever so slowly
to the size of a baseball.
349
00:25:05,857 --> 00:25:07,258
After a few hours,
350
00:25:07,392 --> 00:25:09,827
the mark was as big
as a honeydew melon.
351
00:25:12,764 --> 00:25:14,899
[phone rings]
352
00:25:16,134 --> 00:25:18,603
What?
[Simone]
Hey, I'll be there in ten.
353
00:25:18,736 --> 00:25:20,905
Who is this?
It's Simone.
354
00:25:21,039 --> 00:25:22,040
Oh.
355
00:25:22,173 --> 00:25:23,308
Yeah.
356
00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:27,011
[groans]
357
00:25:31,849 --> 00:25:33,218
Uh, Shriver?
358
00:25:33,351 --> 00:25:34,385
Shriver.
359
00:25:36,354 --> 00:25:37,322
Hey.
Hey.
360
00:25:37,455 --> 00:25:39,591
Yeah. Wasserman.
Hey.
361
00:25:39,724 --> 00:25:41,326
You can call me T.
Great.
362
00:25:41,459 --> 00:25:45,096
I'm a-- I'm a writer,
like yourself.
363
00:25:46,831 --> 00:25:48,066
Uh--
364
00:25:49,033 --> 00:25:52,003
I'll be moderating
your panel tomorrow.
[chuckles]
365
00:25:52,136 --> 00:25:55,340
Panel?
Yeah. Uh, it's listed
in your program.
366
00:25:57,475 --> 00:25:58,943
In the tote bag.
367
00:26:00,178 --> 00:26:02,981
Hey, what do you say
we go toss back a few
368
00:26:03,114 --> 00:26:05,450
and hash out
some talking points?
369
00:26:06,184 --> 00:26:07,218
I...
370
00:26:07,352 --> 00:26:09,020
[door opens]
371
00:26:09,887 --> 00:26:11,689
Well, good morning, Simone.
372
00:26:11,823 --> 00:26:17,795
You know, we all had our doubts
when Simone said
that she had landed you,
373
00:26:17,929 --> 00:26:19,397
but here you are.
374
00:26:19,530 --> 00:26:21,366
Here I am.
Here he is.
375
00:26:21,499 --> 00:26:23,067
[laughs] Unless
376
00:26:23,201 --> 00:26:27,772
the real Shriver
is still in hiding
and he sent you to prank us.
377
00:26:29,207 --> 00:26:29,974
T...
378
00:26:30,108 --> 00:26:32,143
[Shriver, T. laughing]
379
00:26:33,344 --> 00:26:36,047
Hey, remind me to send you
one of my books.
380
00:26:36,614 --> 00:26:37,915
That's generous of him.
381
00:26:38,049 --> 00:26:40,184
He can't pay people
to haul those things away.
382
00:26:40,318 --> 00:26:44,656
His last novel had
an 80-page meditation
on cutting hay, seriously.
383
00:26:44,789 --> 00:26:47,292
And this guy
belongs to him as well.
384
00:26:47,425 --> 00:26:49,794
He can't drive
for obvious reasons.
385
00:26:51,029 --> 00:26:52,430
[horse blusters]
386
00:27:00,104 --> 00:27:03,474
[Simone] Listen, I'm sorry
if I got a little testy
with you yesterday.
387
00:27:03,608 --> 00:27:06,077
I've just--
I've got a lot
riding on this festival.
388
00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:07,945
[Shriver]
Oh, no, I understand.
It's my fault.
389
00:27:08,079 --> 00:27:09,947
So you ready for this?
390
00:27:10,648 --> 00:27:11,883
No.
391
00:27:12,450 --> 00:27:13,685
Of course not.
392
00:27:13,818 --> 00:27:16,789
I'm going to try to make this
as painless as possible.
393
00:27:16,954 --> 00:27:18,589
I promise.
All right.
394
00:27:18,724 --> 00:27:20,325
Yeah, I mean that.
395
00:27:20,458 --> 00:27:24,730
I'm a writer.
I-- I understand
the solitary activity of--
396
00:27:24,862 --> 00:27:26,631
Huh. I didn't know
you were a writer.
397
00:27:26,765 --> 00:27:30,201
Well, right now, I'm a--
I'm a program administrator
398
00:27:30,335 --> 00:27:32,070
with a very
heavy teaching schedule,
399
00:27:32,203 --> 00:27:35,173
but I-- I do carve out time
every day to write.
400
00:27:35,306 --> 00:27:36,541
Yeah.
401
00:27:38,009 --> 00:27:39,745
[student]
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
Hi.
402
00:27:39,877 --> 00:27:43,782
I have Mr. Shriver's
per diem for him.
Great. Yeah, this is Teresa.
403
00:27:43,915 --> 00:27:45,016
She's a graduate TA.
404
00:27:45,149 --> 00:27:46,684
Sorry about the coins.
We use the--
405
00:27:46,819 --> 00:27:48,853
For me?
Yeah, or if you want to
just take that.
406
00:27:48,986 --> 00:27:52,056
We use the vending machines,
um, on campus
for the author expenses.
407
00:27:52,190 --> 00:27:53,792
And then also right now...
408
00:27:53,925 --> 00:27:55,193
Teresa...
...at our b--
409
00:27:55,326 --> 00:27:56,361
Yeah, nice.
410
00:27:56,494 --> 00:27:58,463
Don't care.
Okay, cool. Yeah.
411
00:27:58,596 --> 00:28:02,633
Oh, you know who I spoke to
after I dropped you off,
was your Mr. Cheadum.
412
00:28:02,768 --> 00:28:05,002
Who?
Cheadum, your agent?
413
00:28:05,370 --> 00:28:06,971
[chuckles]
414
00:28:07,105 --> 00:28:10,675
Um, anyway, I can't even
tell you how excited he is
that you're back.
415
00:28:10,809 --> 00:28:12,677
And he wanted it
to be a surprise,
416
00:28:12,811 --> 00:28:16,180
but I gotta tell you, he's gonna
arrive on time for your reading.
417
00:28:20,451 --> 00:28:22,053
[coins clattering]
418
00:28:25,824 --> 00:28:27,091
[Simone] Shriver.
Oh, shit.
419
00:28:27,225 --> 00:28:28,626
[Teresa] No, no, no. It's--
[Shriver] Sorry.
420
00:28:28,761 --> 00:28:30,495
[Teresa] That's okay.
Shriver, this is unnecessary.
421
00:28:30,628 --> 00:28:32,530
She's got this.
This is what she's here for.
Okay.
422
00:28:32,663 --> 00:28:33,732
[Shriver] Sorry.
423
00:28:33,866 --> 00:28:35,600
Teresa,
you can pick those up.
424
00:28:38,970 --> 00:28:41,506
[students chattering]
425
00:28:49,614 --> 00:28:50,648
Hi.
426
00:29:40,331 --> 00:29:42,099
Mr. Shriver, Mr. Shriver.
[writer] Shriver.
427
00:29:42,233 --> 00:29:44,803
If you could just
read my manuscript...
I know you're gonna love it.
428
00:29:44,937 --> 00:29:47,806
You don't have to read it.
You could just write something
in support.
429
00:29:47,940 --> 00:29:51,008
I could even write it for you.
It'd be very simple.
430
00:29:51,476 --> 00:29:53,478
[clamoring]
431
00:29:53,611 --> 00:29:55,546
[no audible dialogue]
432
00:30:00,685 --> 00:30:01,753
Shriver.
433
00:30:02,987 --> 00:30:04,155
Hey, hey.
434
00:30:04,288 --> 00:30:05,256
[writer] ...talk about it?
435
00:30:05,389 --> 00:30:06,959
I really appreciate this.
436
00:30:07,091 --> 00:30:08,659
Thank you very much.
[writer] Yeah.
437
00:30:08,794 --> 00:30:09,994
Thank you.
Sure.
438
00:30:10,127 --> 00:30:11,964
[Shriver] Jesus.
Sorry about that.
439
00:30:12,096 --> 00:30:13,932
It was a little overwhelming.
Yeah.
440
00:30:14,065 --> 00:30:15,366
[ukulele music playing]
441
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:19,570
♪ Shriver
Are you dead or alive? ♪
442
00:30:19,705 --> 00:30:24,609
♪ Are you underground somewhere
Writing a novel? ♪
443
00:30:25,409 --> 00:30:26,879
♪ Oh, Mr. Shriver ♪
444
00:30:27,011 --> 00:30:28,847
That's really nice,
but...
445
00:30:28,981 --> 00:30:30,414
♪ ...alive, sir? ♪
446
00:30:30,548 --> 00:30:32,784
♪ Or just a-- ♪
Stop.
447
00:30:38,356 --> 00:30:40,792
[Simone] Are you familiar
with Blythe Brown's work?
448
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,995
[Shriver] Oh, no.
I'm not familiar with that.
449
00:30:43,127 --> 00:30:46,965
Oh, well, I'll make sure you--
Teresa, make sure
he gets a copy of this book.
450
00:30:47,098 --> 00:30:49,300
It's okay.
You can hold on to it.
451
00:30:49,433 --> 00:30:50,468
Thanks.
452
00:30:51,335 --> 00:30:52,738
[Brown] "She came to you.
453
00:30:52,871 --> 00:30:57,642
You, Black man, cock daddy,
protector of the oppressor,
454
00:30:57,776 --> 00:31:02,179
your gun, your stick,
you took her hand,
455
00:31:02,313 --> 00:31:03,715
pressed her throat,
456
00:31:03,849 --> 00:31:05,349
inhaled her face
457
00:31:05,483 --> 00:31:11,723
and took her and took her
until she could take no more."
458
00:31:11,857 --> 00:31:14,559
[applause]
459
00:31:22,333 --> 00:31:23,769
What a powerful reading.
460
00:31:23,902 --> 00:31:26,738
I'm sure you have
a lot of questions
for Ms. Brown,
461
00:31:26,872 --> 00:31:31,075
so, uh, if you please,
line up behind these two
microphones so we can begin.
462
00:31:35,646 --> 00:31:36,681
Anyone?
463
00:31:39,216 --> 00:31:41,552
[audience member coughs]
464
00:31:47,191 --> 00:31:48,426
Don't be shy.
465
00:31:53,097 --> 00:31:55,132
Anybody? Um--
466
00:31:57,568 --> 00:31:59,604
Mr. Shriver has a question.
467
00:32:03,107 --> 00:32:04,675
What is it?
468
00:32:04,810 --> 00:32:06,812
[sparse applause]
469
00:32:11,783 --> 00:32:12,751
Um--
470
00:32:23,962 --> 00:32:25,329
Have you ever...
471
00:32:27,131 --> 00:32:28,399
Uh--
472
00:32:28,532 --> 00:32:31,636
Have you ever considered
writing from a...
473
00:32:32,370 --> 00:32:33,671
male point of view?
474
00:32:33,805 --> 00:32:36,574
[audience exclaims]
Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
475
00:32:36,708 --> 00:32:38,910
[audience member]
What did he say?
[audience chattering]
476
00:32:40,544 --> 00:32:41,747
Hmm.
477
00:32:44,382 --> 00:32:46,885
You know, Mr. Shriver,
478
00:32:47,886 --> 00:32:49,121
I suppose your question
479
00:32:49,253 --> 00:32:51,322
is precisely
what I should have expected
480
00:32:51,455 --> 00:32:54,425
from the man who wrote
that overhyped,
481
00:32:54,558 --> 00:32:58,329
adolescent, macho wet dream
you call a novel.
482
00:32:58,462 --> 00:33:01,133
Oh, how it
scandalized housewives...
Well, all right.
483
00:33:01,265 --> 00:33:03,001
...and enthralled
undergraduates.
484
00:33:03,135 --> 00:33:04,635
But let's face it, folks.
485
00:33:04,770 --> 00:33:07,505
The only reason
we're even talking
about Mr. Shriver
486
00:33:07,638 --> 00:33:10,374
is for his famous
vanishing act.
[audience laughs]
487
00:33:10,508 --> 00:33:13,344
Oh, and to answer your question,
488
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:17,281
why the fuck should I?
489
00:33:17,415 --> 00:33:20,217
[audience exclaims, claps]
490
00:33:21,552 --> 00:33:23,287
[audience member]
All right.
491
00:33:25,389 --> 00:33:28,994
Never mind. I'm sure
you're right. Thank you
for sharing your poetry.
492
00:33:29,127 --> 00:33:31,562
[chattering, applause]
493
00:33:33,131 --> 00:33:35,967
[Simone]
There's another question
over there and then over here.
494
00:33:38,502 --> 00:33:41,238
[journalist]
Shriver, you old devil.
495
00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:43,942
Still causing trouble?
496
00:33:46,277 --> 00:33:47,411
Jack Blunt.
497
00:33:47,545 --> 00:33:48,747
I interviewed you
for Rolling Stone
498
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,183
back when Goat Time
was published.
499
00:33:51,315 --> 00:33:52,683
Hey, Blunt.
500
00:33:52,818 --> 00:33:55,419
That's a long time ago.
I hardly recognize you.
501
00:33:55,553 --> 00:33:57,488
Yeah, but we only
talked on the phone.
502
00:33:57,621 --> 00:34:00,726
Oh, of course.
Sorry. Forgot.
No, that's no problem.
503
00:34:00,859 --> 00:34:04,196
Hey, listen, do you have,
like, a few seconds
to chat real quick?
504
00:34:04,328 --> 00:34:06,732
I just need a few words
about why you decided
505
00:34:06,865 --> 00:34:09,533
to reemerge
onto the literary scene?
506
00:34:09,667 --> 00:34:10,836
I'm not doing interviews.
507
00:34:10,969 --> 00:34:13,304
Perfect.
You can give me an exclusive.
508
00:34:13,437 --> 00:34:14,840
[breathes deeply]
509
00:34:15,473 --> 00:34:17,943
I don't have anything to say.
510
00:34:19,077 --> 00:34:22,313
Come here for a second.
I'm-- I'm gonna level
with you. Um--
511
00:34:22,446 --> 00:34:26,617
When I first interviewed you,
I was on staff at Rolling Stone.
512
00:34:26,752 --> 00:34:28,787
Do you wanna know
what I'm doing now?
513
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,222
Hmm.
514
00:34:30,354 --> 00:34:33,591
I'm working for some fucking
online magazine doing profiles
515
00:34:33,725 --> 00:34:36,527
of twentysomething
shit bag scribblers
516
00:34:36,660 --> 00:34:39,563
who aren't fit
to lick the sweat
from your balls.
517
00:34:39,697 --> 00:34:41,800
Do you feel what I'm saying?
518
00:34:41,933 --> 00:34:45,269
I see that you've reconnected
with an old friend.
519
00:34:46,071 --> 00:34:47,404
Him?
520
00:34:48,774 --> 00:34:51,609
You-- You don't mind
doing this interview,
do you?
521
00:34:52,944 --> 00:34:54,578
Besides, you owe me one.
522
00:34:56,347 --> 00:34:57,615
I'll see you at dinner.
523
00:34:58,482 --> 00:34:59,918
I need a drink.
524
00:35:00,618 --> 00:35:02,020
[Blunt] Well, I'm the guy.
525
00:35:05,223 --> 00:35:10,095
Twenty years ago,
you burst onto the scene
with this huge fucking novel.
526
00:35:10,228 --> 00:35:11,362
You're everywhere.
527
00:35:11,495 --> 00:35:14,766
Front page reviews,
Time, Newsweek.
528
00:35:14,900 --> 00:35:15,967
No pictures.
529
00:35:16,101 --> 00:35:17,836
The more you hide,
the more they write about you,
530
00:35:17,969 --> 00:35:20,371
the more the book sells.
But who is this guy?
531
00:35:20,504 --> 00:35:23,607
Then you win
the National Book Award.
You don't show up to get it.
532
00:35:23,742 --> 00:35:26,410
Then it's the National Prize
for the Humanities.
533
00:35:26,544 --> 00:35:32,250
President Bill Clinton himself
is going to hang a medal
around your neck.
534
00:35:32,383 --> 00:35:34,618
Surely, you'll emerge for this.
535
00:35:34,753 --> 00:35:36,988
I rented a freaking tux.
536
00:35:37,122 --> 00:35:38,389
And then...
537
00:35:39,456 --> 00:35:40,826
And then?
538
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,461
And then nothing. You're gone.
539
00:35:44,595 --> 00:35:46,463
No Shriver. Poof!
540
00:35:46,597 --> 00:35:48,699
Like Keyser fucking Söze.
541
00:35:48,834 --> 00:35:50,268
I looked everywhere for you.
542
00:35:50,401 --> 00:35:53,905
Where have you been
all this time?
What you been doing?
543
00:35:54,039 --> 00:35:55,807
This and that.
Writing?
544
00:35:55,941 --> 00:35:57,675
Some.
What do you got? Books?
545
00:35:57,809 --> 00:36:01,913
Novel, memoir, stories? What?
546
00:36:03,414 --> 00:36:07,551
Now, you show up
at this amateur-hour, shit show,
poor excuse for a festival?
547
00:36:07,685 --> 00:36:09,620
Come on. What is this?
548
00:36:09,754 --> 00:36:11,655
Doesn't make any sense.
549
00:36:15,126 --> 00:36:16,862
I'm on to you.
550
00:36:23,601 --> 00:36:25,103
I'm not Shriver.
551
00:36:25,837 --> 00:36:27,772
That's cute. That's--
552
00:36:27,906 --> 00:36:31,743
No. I mean, I'm a Shriver.
553
00:36:32,643 --> 00:36:35,780
But I'm not the Shriver
who wrote the book.
554
00:36:36,314 --> 00:36:37,716
I'm not that Shriver.
555
00:36:38,216 --> 00:36:39,351
Of course not.
556
00:36:40,352 --> 00:36:43,621
You're Shriver the shape-shifter
in Goat Time
557
00:36:43,755 --> 00:36:47,859
who weaves a cocoon
around himself
and then emerges...
558
00:36:47,993 --> 00:36:49,526
I'm not that Shriver.
...unchanged.
559
00:36:49,660 --> 00:36:51,329
You're reenacting
the non-reinvention...
560
00:36:51,462 --> 00:36:53,631
I'm not Shriver!
...of your protagonist!
561
00:36:53,765 --> 00:36:55,267
I'm not Shriver!
562
00:36:55,967 --> 00:36:59,137
Come on. Hey.
All right. Fine. Go.
563
00:36:59,271 --> 00:37:02,340
But I'm gonna
tell you something,
this goes up tonight.
564
00:37:03,174 --> 00:37:05,343
Up? What--
What goes up?
This story.
565
00:37:05,476 --> 00:37:07,045
But I haven't told you anything.
566
00:37:07,178 --> 00:37:10,547
You don't know the beauty
of Internet journalism.
567
00:37:10,681 --> 00:37:13,852
Absolutely nothing
is more than enough.
568
00:37:13,985 --> 00:37:17,055
And I just had drinks
with Shriver.
569
00:37:17,188 --> 00:37:18,323
That's the story.
570
00:37:18,455 --> 00:37:20,926
Everything else is just filler.
571
00:37:21,059 --> 00:37:22,526
But you didn't.
572
00:37:22,660 --> 00:37:24,029
I didn't what?
573
00:37:25,130 --> 00:37:26,630
Have drinks with Shriver.
574
00:37:26,765 --> 00:37:28,465
Don't fuck with me, Shriver.
575
00:37:44,716 --> 00:37:46,583
[no audible dialogue]
576
00:38:04,269 --> 00:38:05,502
All right.
577
00:38:10,241 --> 00:38:11,242
All right.
578
00:38:11,776 --> 00:38:13,178
I got it. I got it.
579
00:38:13,311 --> 00:38:16,214
What, are you following me?
And you can keep the change.
580
00:38:27,392 --> 00:38:30,594
[Simone] Uh, may I present
Victor Shastri Bennet,
the playwright.
581
00:38:30,729 --> 00:38:33,530
Ah, no need for formalities.
Call me VSB, please.
582
00:38:33,664 --> 00:38:36,134
We're discussing Fugard, Soyinka
583
00:38:36,267 --> 00:38:39,437
and intertextuality
as it relates to my work.
584
00:38:39,570 --> 00:38:41,139
Oh, please.
585
00:38:41,973 --> 00:38:42,707
Continue.
586
00:38:42,841 --> 00:38:45,010
This man needs a whiskey.
587
00:38:46,211 --> 00:38:49,881
Can I get a-- a kangaroo?
[server] Excuse me?
588
00:38:50,647 --> 00:38:52,250
The bartender will know.
589
00:38:52,384 --> 00:38:54,786
I don't know
if you've officially met
Blythe Brown,
590
00:38:54,919 --> 00:38:57,389
and this is
her companion, Layla.
591
00:38:58,490 --> 00:39:00,859
So, Shriver, tell me,
are you a big fan
of the theater?
592
00:39:00,992 --> 00:39:03,161
Have you seen anything
worth writing home about lately?
593
00:39:03,294 --> 00:39:06,831
Mmm.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, a lot.
I've seen a lot.
594
00:39:06,965 --> 00:39:08,867
What's that?
[Layla] Like what?
595
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,737
Yeah, I--
I've seen some things.
596
00:39:12,871 --> 00:39:15,073
[Victor] All right.
Anything of late, you know?
597
00:39:16,274 --> 00:39:20,812
Any works that you've
sort of been taken by?
Tell me.
598
00:39:21,578 --> 00:39:24,983
Uh, yes. So, uh...
599
00:39:25,116 --> 00:39:26,151
Oh, here it is.
600
00:39:27,185 --> 00:39:29,686
[Simone]
So, what do you do, Ms. Layla?
601
00:39:30,889 --> 00:39:32,357
I'm a sculptor.
602
00:39:32,957 --> 00:39:34,658
And what is your medium?
603
00:39:34,793 --> 00:39:35,960
Pipe cleaners?
604
00:39:36,094 --> 00:39:37,529
Play-Doh?
605
00:39:37,661 --> 00:39:39,297
Uh, cake.
606
00:39:39,431 --> 00:39:40,597
Did you say cake?
Mm-hmm.
607
00:39:40,732 --> 00:39:43,535
Cake.
Sometimes we eat them.
608
00:39:43,667 --> 00:39:46,037
[T.] She said cake,
Shriver. Did you hear?
609
00:39:46,171 --> 00:39:47,038
Yeah.
610
00:39:47,172 --> 00:39:49,040
[Layla] Yeah.
That's odd.
611
00:39:51,242 --> 00:39:52,277
Odd?
612
00:39:53,411 --> 00:39:55,513
No, that's not-- Oh, shit.
613
00:39:55,646 --> 00:39:57,148
That came out wrong. Uh--
614
00:39:57,282 --> 00:39:59,084
Uh, no offense.
615
00:39:59,217 --> 00:40:01,453
I don't know what
I find more offensive,
616
00:40:01,585 --> 00:40:05,990
your insistence on seeing
the world through the prism
of the sexist patriarchy
617
00:40:06,124 --> 00:40:13,198
or your belligerent refusal
to take seriously the work
of committed women artists.
618
00:40:15,934 --> 00:40:18,903
Yeah, I suppose
you could find them
equally offensive.
619
00:40:20,171 --> 00:40:21,206
Yeah.
620
00:40:21,806 --> 00:40:23,174
[chuckles]
621
00:40:24,342 --> 00:40:25,609
Cheers!
622
00:40:25,743 --> 00:40:29,147
[all] Cheers!
[laughing, chattering]
623
00:40:30,614 --> 00:40:32,750
[acoustic music playing]
624
00:40:32,884 --> 00:40:34,986
♪ And come what may ♪
625
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,057
♪ I've always seen ♪
626
00:40:39,190 --> 00:40:43,495
♪ Remember that
Whole worlds were made... ♪
627
00:40:43,627 --> 00:40:44,863
Are you okay?
628
00:40:45,629 --> 00:40:47,031
Yeah. Fine.
629
00:40:48,032 --> 00:40:49,601
Uh--
630
00:40:49,734 --> 00:40:54,906
Do you happen to recall
when exactly, uh, this agent
is arriving? My agent?
631
00:40:55,039 --> 00:40:55,874
Oh.
632
00:40:56,007 --> 00:40:58,176
He didn't specify.
633
00:40:58,309 --> 00:41:00,912
Okay.
He made his own
arrangements.
634
00:41:02,614 --> 00:41:03,948
Oh, shit.
635
00:41:04,082 --> 00:41:05,216
Time.
636
00:41:05,717 --> 00:41:07,051
Back to campus
637
00:41:07,185 --> 00:41:10,488
for a play
from our very own
Victor Bennet.
638
00:41:10,622 --> 00:41:12,090
Ah...
639
00:41:12,223 --> 00:41:12,957
Really?
640
00:41:13,091 --> 00:41:15,727
[Simone chuckles]
Hold up.
641
00:41:37,215 --> 00:41:39,317
[Shriver]
Are you sure this is okay?
642
00:41:39,450 --> 00:41:44,289
[T.] As long as Simone--
Professor Cleary
doesn't catch us. [chuckles]
643
00:41:44,422 --> 00:41:46,891
Yeah, I don't want
to make her angry.
644
00:41:49,827 --> 00:41:51,095
[sighs]
645
00:41:52,096 --> 00:41:54,698
You're sweet on her,
aren't you, Shriver?
646
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:56,734
No.
647
00:41:56,868 --> 00:41:58,369
[chuckles]
648
00:41:58,503 --> 00:41:59,837
Be gentle with her.
649
00:42:00,738 --> 00:42:02,073
She's been hurt.
650
00:42:03,007 --> 00:42:05,410
Betrayed by the man she loved.
651
00:42:06,477 --> 00:42:07,946
Some years ago...
652
00:42:09,747 --> 00:42:11,716
fresh off of her wounds,
653
00:42:11,849 --> 00:42:14,185
Simone fell for a...
654
00:42:15,687 --> 00:42:17,956
decidedly third-rate poet.
655
00:42:23,895 --> 00:42:25,763
A traveler came by
656
00:42:27,332 --> 00:42:28,933
and silently,
657
00:42:29,767 --> 00:42:31,236
invisibly...
658
00:42:33,638 --> 00:42:35,373
took her with a sigh.
659
00:42:39,811 --> 00:42:41,145
[exhales]
660
00:42:41,279 --> 00:42:43,514
He was maddeningly handsome,
though.
661
00:42:46,117 --> 00:42:49,187
[applause, cheering in distance]
662
00:42:51,022 --> 00:42:53,524
You better, uh,
get on up there.
663
00:42:53,658 --> 00:42:55,159
They'll miss you.
664
00:42:58,296 --> 00:42:59,397
All right.
665
00:43:09,107 --> 00:43:11,342
It's an hour of my life
I'm never gonna get back.
666
00:43:11,476 --> 00:43:13,111
Yeah. Yeah.
667
00:43:13,244 --> 00:43:16,914
Oh! Shriver! So, tell me,
what did you think?
668
00:43:19,150 --> 00:43:20,418
Uh--
669
00:43:21,219 --> 00:43:22,987
I'm sorry, I missed it.
670
00:43:24,922 --> 00:43:29,360
But perhaps
you would do me the honor
of allowing me to read it?
671
00:43:30,662 --> 00:43:32,096
[Victor] Thank you.
672
00:43:33,298 --> 00:43:35,333
That-- That would mean
a lot to me, actually.
673
00:43:35,466 --> 00:43:36,834
My pleasure.
674
00:43:36,968 --> 00:43:39,637
Well, my public awaits.
675
00:43:39,772 --> 00:43:40,773
Yes.
676
00:43:40,905 --> 00:43:42,073
I'll see you later.
Bye now.
677
00:43:42,206 --> 00:43:44,509
Congratulations.
Thank you. Appreciate you.
678
00:43:59,424 --> 00:44:00,491
[sighs]
679
00:44:03,729 --> 00:44:05,096
Thank you
680
00:44:05,731 --> 00:44:07,165
for Victor Bennet.
681
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:12,170
I hope you know how much
it means to the university
that you're here.
682
00:44:13,638 --> 00:44:14,972
And to me.
683
00:44:18,176 --> 00:44:24,048
For years, I've been torn
between fighting to make this
a better place
684
00:44:24,182 --> 00:44:29,253
or just to putting 100%
of my energies into making it
as a writer, finally.
685
00:44:30,288 --> 00:44:34,058
Either way, I'm just
tilting at windmills,
you know?
686
00:44:35,693 --> 00:44:38,596
Well, it's better
than running into 'em.
[chuckles]
687
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,148
Oh, Mr. Shriver.
688
00:45:15,066 --> 00:45:17,034
[elevator dings]
[person chuckles]
689
00:45:17,168 --> 00:45:18,837
Jacuzzi time.
Yeah.
690
00:45:18,970 --> 00:45:20,706
What?
Just text him.
691
00:45:20,839 --> 00:45:22,073
No.
692
00:45:27,111 --> 00:45:29,147
I've got your number, buddy.
693
00:45:29,914 --> 00:45:31,215
Why?
694
00:45:31,349 --> 00:45:33,518
Something about you
just doesn't smell right.
695
00:45:36,954 --> 00:45:38,189
[elevator dings]
696
00:45:41,492 --> 00:45:42,393
[sniffs]
697
00:45:55,540 --> 00:45:58,109
[imaginary Shriver]
Well, you conned your way
through day one.
698
00:45:59,210 --> 00:46:01,512
But it's gonna get
more difficult after this.
699
00:46:02,447 --> 00:46:03,981
I don't know what to do.
700
00:46:04,115 --> 00:46:07,719
I'd keep an eye
on that cake lady.
She could be trouble.
701
00:46:07,853 --> 00:46:09,020
And her girlfriend poet.
702
00:46:09,822 --> 00:46:12,457
Well, she hates my book,
that's for sure.
703
00:46:12,590 --> 00:46:16,260
Your book? Listen to you,
starting to believe
your own bullshit.
704
00:46:16,394 --> 00:46:19,297
You can lie to them,
but not me.
705
00:46:21,098 --> 00:46:22,366
[knocks on door]
706
00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:23,735
Open up. Police.
707
00:46:25,636 --> 00:46:26,705
What?
708
00:46:28,707 --> 00:46:30,308
What's the problem?
709
00:46:36,013 --> 00:46:38,082
[laughs]
710
00:46:38,216 --> 00:46:41,352
There's no sleeping, Shriver.
[chuckles]
711
00:46:43,221 --> 00:46:45,858
[Teresa] Okay.
[T.] Let's have one
of those cups, thank you.
712
00:46:46,023 --> 00:46:47,592
Are you avoiding me?
713
00:46:47,726 --> 00:46:48,760
Yes.
714
00:46:48,894 --> 00:46:50,495
Can't say I blame you.
715
00:46:51,128 --> 00:46:52,630
Where's Layla?
716
00:46:52,764 --> 00:46:55,566
In our room,
sulking as per usual.
You spilled a lot of it.
717
00:46:56,234 --> 00:46:57,368
[Teresa] Cheers.
718
00:46:57,502 --> 00:46:59,270
How dare you?
719
00:46:59,403 --> 00:47:01,840
Have a party
and not even invite me, Shriver.
720
00:47:01,974 --> 00:47:03,040
Come on!
721
00:47:03,174 --> 00:47:04,442
You're rude.
722
00:47:04,575 --> 00:47:07,478
Ah, hey, now.
Have a look at that.
723
00:47:07,612 --> 00:47:09,680
[rap music playing]
[chuckles]
724
00:47:09,815 --> 00:47:12,350
Whoo! Party!
Whoo.
725
00:47:14,685 --> 00:47:15,821
Come down!
726
00:47:16,955 --> 00:47:21,492
I believe that we would be fools
to pass up such an invitation.
727
00:47:22,059 --> 00:47:23,494
I'm kind of tired.
728
00:47:23,896 --> 00:47:24,863
Shriver.
729
00:47:24,997 --> 00:47:27,298
Where's that bon vivant esprit
730
00:47:27,431 --> 00:47:30,401
that I would expect from the man
that wrote Goat Time?
731
00:47:30,535 --> 00:47:31,970
[Teresa] T., it's disgusting.
732
00:47:32,103 --> 00:47:33,371
You're too old and decrepit
733
00:47:33,504 --> 00:47:36,374
to be talking about that.
Bite thy tongue, lass.
734
00:47:37,575 --> 00:47:40,879
I may be old,
but I have poetry on my side.
735
00:47:41,013 --> 00:47:42,680
I'm in.
736
00:47:44,215 --> 00:47:46,083
I'm gonna call it a night.
737
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,422
I'm very disappointed
in you, Shriver.
738
00:47:54,525 --> 00:47:56,360
Come on, Teresa.
O-- Okay.
739
00:47:56,494 --> 00:47:59,230
I guess my work here is done.
740
00:47:59,363 --> 00:48:01,232
I'll see you in the morning.
741
00:48:01,767 --> 00:48:03,134
Where is everyone going?
742
00:48:03,267 --> 00:48:04,468
[door closes]
743
00:48:05,202 --> 00:48:08,239
Well, that broke up fast. Yeah?
744
00:48:08,372 --> 00:48:10,842
So, you know what? All good.
745
00:48:11,810 --> 00:48:13,511
You know where to find me.
746
00:48:16,447 --> 00:48:19,317
[door opens, closes]
747
00:48:22,286 --> 00:48:25,222
[music continues outside]
[person whooping]
748
00:48:28,192 --> 00:48:30,194
[chattering]
749
00:48:44,241 --> 00:48:46,812
[train chugging]
750
00:48:49,047 --> 00:48:51,215
[train whistle blowing]
751
00:49:03,829 --> 00:49:07,365
[narrator]
All night long I lay there,
wide awake,
752
00:49:07,498 --> 00:49:09,101
wondering what the watermark
would look like
753
00:49:09,233 --> 00:49:12,403
when daylight
started creeping in
the next morning.
754
00:49:12,536 --> 00:49:14,906
[Shriver]
Good night, Mr. Bojangles.
755
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:18,810
[narrator] As dawn broke,
I saw the spot had grown
even more...
756
00:49:18,944 --> 00:49:21,713
[purring]
[Shriver]
Good night, Mr. Bojangles.
757
00:49:21,847 --> 00:49:26,018
[narrator]
...now to the general size
and shape of an adult person.
758
00:49:26,150 --> 00:49:27,819
[Shriver]
Good night, Mr. Bojangles.
759
00:49:27,953 --> 00:49:31,489
[narrator]
A woman with long flowing hair.
760
00:49:31,622 --> 00:49:33,792
[Shriver]
Good night, Mr. Bojangles.
761
00:49:41,265 --> 00:49:43,769
[gasps, panting]
[phone ringing]
762
00:49:44,803 --> 00:49:45,837
Wha--
763
00:49:49,775 --> 00:49:51,342
[groans] Hello.
764
00:49:51,475 --> 00:49:53,745
Hi. It's Teresa.
I'm in the lobby.
765
00:49:54,112 --> 00:49:55,781
Who? What?
766
00:49:55,914 --> 00:49:58,717
You're talking to
my creative writing workshop
this morning.
767
00:50:00,152 --> 00:50:03,320
Mmm. No, that's a mistake.
768
00:50:03,454 --> 00:50:05,356
No, it's not a mistake.
It's in the program.
769
00:50:05,489 --> 00:50:07,258
Didn't you get a program?
770
00:50:08,126 --> 00:50:10,028
Uh, no, I never got a program.
771
00:50:11,063 --> 00:50:13,932
Okay. Well, um,
class starts in 20 minutes.
[sighs]
772
00:50:18,870 --> 00:50:20,839
[students chattering]
773
00:50:21,907 --> 00:50:23,842
[cheerleader]
You guys grab breakfast?
Oh, crap.
774
00:50:27,813 --> 00:50:29,181
[cheerleader 2]
Never stop planning.
775
00:50:29,313 --> 00:50:31,415
[cheerleader]
You're overthinking it.
776
00:50:34,886 --> 00:50:37,288
She was at the bar,
and then she would've
come back upstairs.
777
00:50:37,421 --> 00:50:39,925
So, if you were here last night,
I'm asking if you saw anything?
778
00:50:40,058 --> 00:50:41,159
I don't know.
Excuse me.
779
00:50:41,292 --> 00:50:42,693
Shriver!
Oh, Shriver, we gotta go.
780
00:50:42,828 --> 00:50:45,496
Good morning, Shriver.
Uh, I locked my key in my room.
781
00:50:45,629 --> 00:50:46,932
Blythe never came back
last night.
782
00:50:47,065 --> 00:50:48,934
You know that?
She's gone. She just vanished.
783
00:50:49,067 --> 00:50:51,368
We have to go.
The class is waiting.
That's unfortunate.
784
00:50:51,502 --> 00:50:54,039
Maybe she just went for a walk.
[Layla] Just a walk?
785
00:50:54,172 --> 00:51:00,112
Where would she have walked to?
Well, a walk doesn't imply
some specific destination.
786
00:51:00,244 --> 00:51:03,681
"I am he that walks with
the tender and growing night."
787
00:51:03,815 --> 00:51:04,750
Whitman.
788
00:51:05,683 --> 00:51:07,418
Okay. We have to go.
Oh, my God.
789
00:51:07,551 --> 00:51:09,855
Wasn't she
in your room last night?
790
00:51:11,923 --> 00:51:13,225
Yeah, but she left.
791
00:51:13,390 --> 00:51:14,726
What time was that?
792
00:51:15,659 --> 00:51:17,361
I have no idea.
How do you not know?
793
00:51:17,495 --> 00:51:19,865
The man doesn't know.
He has more important things
to think about.
794
00:51:19,998 --> 00:51:21,599
You don't know?
I'm gonna call the police!
795
00:51:21,733 --> 00:51:24,335
[Teresa] We have to go.
That's not good.
796
00:51:24,468 --> 00:51:26,537
What do they expect from me?
Your students.
797
00:51:26,670 --> 00:51:28,472
Um, like, nothing.
I told them you're a genius.
798
00:51:28,606 --> 00:51:30,274
Whatever you say,
they're gonna eat it up.
799
00:51:30,407 --> 00:51:33,577
I had them read the book.
I think some of them
actually did read it.
800
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:38,516
Also, they all want to be
writers and none of them
like to read.
801
00:51:58,203 --> 00:51:59,938
Why is your book
so misogynistic?
802
00:52:00,071 --> 00:52:01,206
I think it's erotic.
803
00:52:01,338 --> 00:52:03,208
It's just dirty.
804
00:52:03,340 --> 00:52:05,576
So? Life is dirty.
805
00:52:05,710 --> 00:52:08,246
And I wanna ask,
why did you choose
806
00:52:08,379 --> 00:52:12,316
to name your main character
after yourself?
807
00:52:12,449 --> 00:52:16,487
Uh, I couldn't think of
another name
and mine was handy.
808
00:52:17,155 --> 00:52:18,522
Well, what happened to the wife?
809
00:52:18,656 --> 00:52:20,158
How can she disappear like that?
810
00:52:20,292 --> 00:52:21,993
Well, he killed her, right?
811
00:52:22,526 --> 00:52:24,562
Nah, he didn't kill her.
812
00:52:24,695 --> 00:52:26,363
[student] What's true?
813
00:52:28,967 --> 00:52:32,403
What do you use
from your imagination
and what comes from your life?
814
00:52:39,010 --> 00:52:41,279
Well, to be honest, uh,
815
00:52:41,412 --> 00:52:45,649
I have trouble telling
the difference between
reality and imagination.
816
00:52:45,784 --> 00:52:46,852
[chuckles]
817
00:52:50,121 --> 00:52:55,927
But how do you understand
your experience
without imagination?
818
00:52:57,695 --> 00:53:00,765
Fiction or stories,
819
00:53:00,899 --> 00:53:04,836
it's a tool that humans have
that no other creatures has
820
00:53:05,636 --> 00:53:08,372
to make sense of our existence.
821
00:53:09,607 --> 00:53:12,110
We create a fictional world...
822
00:53:14,045 --> 00:53:18,950
as a laboratory to make sense
of the actual world.
823
00:53:21,853 --> 00:53:25,790
[imaginary Shriver
breathes heavily]
824
00:53:51,883 --> 00:53:52,918
[chuckles]
825
00:53:55,519 --> 00:53:56,821
Thanks.
826
00:54:15,506 --> 00:54:19,144
[Teresa]
I'm excited for the students
to meet, like, a real writer.
827
00:54:19,277 --> 00:54:21,612
[Shriver]
Well, aren't there plenty
of real writers here?
828
00:54:21,746 --> 00:54:23,181
[Teresa]
T., Simone.
829
00:54:25,183 --> 00:54:27,319
It's like the only place
you can find their books
830
00:54:27,451 --> 00:54:31,555
is in the college bookstore
in the local author section.
831
00:54:34,491 --> 00:54:36,828
[Shriver] I didn't know
Simone had published a book.
832
00:54:38,763 --> 00:54:40,899
[Teresa]
She actually published two.
833
00:54:42,133 --> 00:54:44,736
And the thing is,
she's not a bad writer.
834
00:54:45,536 --> 00:54:47,072
She's actually pretty good.
835
00:54:48,073 --> 00:54:50,308
She's just kind of like
a cautionary tale.
836
00:54:50,442 --> 00:54:52,344
[Shriver] What? How's that?
837
00:54:52,476 --> 00:54:55,113
Because, like, when I'm her age,
I want to be in Brooklyn
838
00:54:55,246 --> 00:54:57,514
with a writing career
and an editor and an agent.
839
00:54:57,648 --> 00:54:59,851
I don't want to be
in fucking Acheron.
840
00:55:24,943 --> 00:55:26,878
Oh, there you are.
Come on, we gotta go.
841
00:55:27,012 --> 00:55:29,314
What?
We're really late.
We gotta go.
842
00:55:29,447 --> 00:55:31,182
Can I--
Can I take these?
843
00:55:31,316 --> 00:55:34,285
What? Uh, yeah.
Would you put these
on my account?
844
00:55:35,253 --> 00:55:36,488
Thank you so much.
845
00:55:36,620 --> 00:55:37,856
I got it.
846
00:55:53,805 --> 00:55:55,440
[T. chuckles]
847
00:55:55,572 --> 00:56:00,311
Oh, you missed
one hell of a party
last night, Shriver. [chuckles]
848
00:56:00,445 --> 00:56:02,247
Beyond the beyond.
849
00:56:03,114 --> 00:56:07,519
But what happens at Hotel 99
stays in Hotel 99.
850
00:56:09,020 --> 00:56:12,791
But I'm gonna write
a best-selling book about
that place one of these days.
851
00:56:12,924 --> 00:56:15,894
I was hoping to have you
in one of the chapters.
852
00:56:16,861 --> 00:56:19,696
Didn't you just say
what happens there stays there?
853
00:56:21,466 --> 00:56:23,134
Well...
[Victor] Hi, guys.
854
00:56:23,768 --> 00:56:25,170
Hey, Victor.
855
00:56:25,303 --> 00:56:30,508
I see our, uh,
favorite sapphic
poet is MIA.
856
00:56:30,641 --> 00:56:32,744
I heard the authorities
have been alerted.
857
00:56:32,877 --> 00:56:35,146
Authorities? What authorities?
858
00:56:37,581 --> 00:56:39,517
You seem a little worried,
Shriver.
859
00:56:39,650 --> 00:56:41,419
Something you need to tell me?
860
00:56:41,553 --> 00:56:43,121
[chuckles]
861
00:56:44,655 --> 00:56:46,024
You read those?
862
00:56:46,157 --> 00:56:49,327
Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. Sure.
Very nice. They're, um...
863
00:56:50,862 --> 00:56:52,163
[sighs]
...domestic dramas.
864
00:56:52,297 --> 00:56:55,366
You know,
women struggling
to find their place.
865
00:56:55,500 --> 00:56:56,835
You seem dismissive.
866
00:56:56,968 --> 00:56:58,803
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
867
00:56:58,937 --> 00:57:01,106
It's just that--
Well, I mean,
868
00:57:01,873 --> 00:57:04,175
writers like you and me,
869
00:57:05,110 --> 00:57:06,377
I mean,
870
00:57:06,511 --> 00:57:08,746
we're going for
the big fish, aren't we?
871
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:13,351
Dredging the truths
from the murky depths.
872
00:57:14,085 --> 00:57:15,954
Well...
[clears throat]
873
00:57:18,223 --> 00:57:19,757
Hello. Welcome.
874
00:57:19,891 --> 00:57:23,328
I know that, uh,
we're all happy to be here.
875
00:57:23,461 --> 00:57:25,029
I certainly am.
876
00:57:25,163 --> 00:57:28,733
I'm going to start
by introducing the gentleman
on my right,
877
00:57:28,867 --> 00:57:32,804
who would need no introduction
if his face was
a little more familiar.
878
00:57:32,937 --> 00:57:34,172
[audience chuckles]
879
00:57:34,305 --> 00:57:36,708
He's the author of
but one novel--
880
00:57:36,841 --> 00:57:39,577
one great novel.
881
00:57:39,711 --> 00:57:41,479
Ladies and gentlemen, Shriver.
882
00:57:41,613 --> 00:57:44,382
[applause, cheering]
883
00:57:47,152 --> 00:57:50,421
And next, I'd like to introduce
our playwright, Victor Bennet,
884
00:57:50,555 --> 00:57:53,258
who comes to us
from somewhere across the ocean.
885
00:57:53,391 --> 00:57:57,228
We all had the pleasure
of enjoying
his hysterically funny
886
00:57:57,362 --> 00:58:02,267
and yet deeply emotional
two-hander last night,
right here.
887
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:03,334
Victor Bennet.
888
00:58:03,468 --> 00:58:04,668
[applause]
889
00:58:04,802 --> 00:58:08,940
The theme for our
panel discussion today is,
890
00:58:09,073 --> 00:58:12,710
are the words
on the page reality
891
00:58:13,677 --> 00:58:15,013
or illusion?
892
00:58:16,881 --> 00:58:18,416
Gentlemen?
893
00:58:20,684 --> 00:58:24,022
Is not reality
an illusion anyway?
894
00:58:24,155 --> 00:58:26,424
Here comes the bullshit.
[Victor]
Reality/illusion.
895
00:58:26,558 --> 00:58:29,661
That slash implies
something synonymic,
does it not?
896
00:58:29,794 --> 00:58:33,831
If I wrote fiction
like my colleagues, I would
be a playwright/novelist.
897
00:58:33,965 --> 00:58:37,669
Nobody would argue with that.
Obstetrician/gynecologist.
898
00:58:37,802 --> 00:58:40,371
AC/DC.
899
00:58:40,505 --> 00:58:41,806
[person claps] Yeah!
900
00:58:41,940 --> 00:58:43,241
I see you've been jotting down
901
00:58:43,374 --> 00:58:45,777
some of your thoughts there
on your pad, Shriver.
902
00:58:45,910 --> 00:58:49,414
Would you care to enlighten us?
903
00:58:59,357 --> 00:59:02,026
So, last night,
from my hotel room,
904
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:06,497
I saw this, um,
group of cheerleaders,
905
00:59:06,631 --> 00:59:10,935
young women
dancing and frolicking
906
00:59:11,069 --> 00:59:13,706
like children by a pool.
907
00:59:14,872 --> 00:59:21,312
And then one of these
young women
floated up through the air,
908
00:59:22,947 --> 00:59:26,284
gently,
like a feather
blown by the breeze.
909
00:59:28,052 --> 00:59:31,122
She had long blond hair
and blue eyes.
910
00:59:32,123 --> 00:59:34,892
And from my window,
I could have reached out
911
00:59:35,927 --> 00:59:38,029
and touched her face.
912
00:59:40,898 --> 00:59:43,635
And beyond
this lovely young woman,
913
00:59:45,003 --> 00:59:51,242
I would not have been able to
make out where the high desert
met the night sky,
914
00:59:52,043 --> 00:59:54,379
but for an invisible line...
915
00:59:56,214 --> 00:59:59,617
that stated
where the earth ended
916
01:00:00,218 --> 01:00:02,553
and millions of stars began.
917
01:00:04,322 --> 01:00:06,324
And as all of this was happening
918
01:00:07,258 --> 01:00:10,328
this long,
slow freight train rolled by...
919
01:00:12,597 --> 01:00:18,303
its wheels making that clacking
noise that's so reassuring.
[train chugging]
920
01:00:20,438 --> 01:00:24,909
Right in time as it is
with our own heartbeat.
[heart beating]
921
01:00:31,482 --> 01:00:34,018
Or maybe I made it all up.
[chuckles]
922
01:00:34,152 --> 01:00:36,087
[audience laughs]
923
01:00:36,220 --> 01:00:38,990
[laughing]
[applause]
924
01:00:39,123 --> 01:00:42,260
Well done. Well done.
[Victor] Brilliant.
925
01:00:43,828 --> 01:00:45,863
[person whooping]
926
01:00:52,904 --> 01:00:55,940
Hey! Just the man
I was looking for.
927
01:00:56,074 --> 01:00:57,308
Check this out.
928
01:00:57,442 --> 01:01:01,679
Over 100,000 hits,
600 comments and counting.
929
01:01:01,814 --> 01:01:04,817
I need to
go to the bathroom.
This lady from Toledo...
930
01:01:04,949 --> 01:01:06,017
Mr. Shriver,
931
01:01:06,150 --> 01:01:07,452
I'm Detective Karpas.
932
01:01:08,519 --> 01:01:11,422
Are you in some kind
of trouble, Shriver?
933
01:01:11,556 --> 01:01:12,725
I don't know.
934
01:01:12,857 --> 01:01:14,092
Please.
935
01:01:18,029 --> 01:01:20,231
[Karpas]
I'm reading your book,
Mr. Shriver.
936
01:01:20,365 --> 01:01:22,567
You have an interesting
perspective on life.
937
01:01:22,700 --> 01:01:24,302
Do I?
Yeah.
938
01:01:24,435 --> 01:01:26,971
I'd describe it as nihilistic.
Wouldn't you?
939
01:01:28,005 --> 01:01:30,508
Yeah,
I'm not fond of labels.
Mm-hmm.
940
01:01:30,641 --> 01:01:31,777
Is that a Cuban?
941
01:01:31,909 --> 01:01:33,478
Oh. Sure is.
942
01:01:34,512 --> 01:01:37,115
You know, your characters,
they have no morals, right?
943
01:01:37,248 --> 01:01:40,685
There's no goods, no evils.
There's no God.
944
01:01:40,819 --> 01:01:42,987
Just debauchery and filth
945
01:01:43,121 --> 01:01:44,689
and--
and rampant infidelity.
946
01:01:44,823 --> 01:01:47,959
And, uh, well,
murder, of course.
947
01:01:49,060 --> 01:01:50,729
Yeah.
Yeah.
948
01:01:50,863 --> 01:01:54,432
I hear you're the last person
to see Ms. Brown alive.
949
01:01:55,133 --> 01:01:56,401
Wait, she's dead?
950
01:01:56,534 --> 01:01:58,804
Oh, no,
I didn't say she was dead.
951
01:01:58,936 --> 01:02:00,773
Why? Is there something
you wanna tell me?
952
01:02:00,905 --> 01:02:03,341
Is she dead?
No. No, she's missing.
953
01:02:03,474 --> 01:02:07,378
But, uh, you know,
after 24 hours, these things
rarely turn out well.
954
01:02:08,446 --> 01:02:11,182
[clicks tongue]
The night girl at the hotel says
955
01:02:11,315 --> 01:02:14,552
Ms. Brown left you a little note
earlier in the evening.
956
01:02:16,254 --> 01:02:19,190
Yeah, she wanted to meet me
for a drink at the bar.
957
01:02:19,924 --> 01:02:21,292
That is interesting.
958
01:02:21,426 --> 01:02:22,895
Just 'cause I have, uh,
959
01:02:23,027 --> 01:02:26,697
yeah, 400 people
who witnessed you guys
arguing that night.
960
01:02:29,033 --> 01:02:31,002
So, did you join her at the bar?
961
01:02:31,135 --> 01:02:32,670
No, I was tired.
962
01:02:32,805 --> 01:02:35,106
Mm-hmm. Not too tired
to throw a shindig
in your room, right?
963
01:02:35,239 --> 01:02:38,276
Shriver,
do you need a lawyer?
I don't think so.
964
01:02:40,945 --> 01:02:42,146
Okay.
Okay.
965
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:45,416
See you at the soiree.
What soiree?
966
01:02:46,317 --> 01:02:47,585
Oh...
967
01:02:47,719 --> 01:02:48,754
He's fun.
968
01:02:49,620 --> 01:02:51,522
Listen, I--
I've been digging up your past,
969
01:02:51,656 --> 01:02:55,626
and it's just some stuff
doesn't exactly add up.
970
01:02:55,761 --> 01:02:58,463
Wouldn't happen to know
where your ex-wife is,
would you?
971
01:03:00,598 --> 01:03:03,334
No.
Okay.
972
01:03:03,468 --> 01:03:05,970
Hey, I'll let you know
if I find anything, huh?
973
01:03:09,741 --> 01:03:11,075
Fuck.
974
01:03:11,910 --> 01:03:12,977
[imaginary Shriver] Oh, boy.
975
01:03:13,110 --> 01:03:14,145
Fuck.
976
01:03:14,278 --> 01:03:15,613
He thinks you killed her.
977
01:03:15,747 --> 01:03:16,849
Killed who?
978
01:03:16,981 --> 01:03:19,517
The poet, of course.
979
01:03:19,650 --> 01:03:21,252
Maybe your wife too.
980
01:03:21,820 --> 01:03:22,921
I-- I didn't.
981
01:03:23,054 --> 01:03:24,923
You know,
it's, uh, interesting,
982
01:03:25,056 --> 01:03:27,458
the parallels between your life
983
01:03:27,592 --> 01:03:30,595
and the protagonist
in Shriver's book.
984
01:03:30,729 --> 01:03:31,696
Don't you think?
985
01:03:31,830 --> 01:03:33,297
[laughs]
Yeah, all right.
986
01:03:33,431 --> 01:03:36,234
Just leave me alone
so I can think,
all right?
987
01:03:36,634 --> 01:03:38,069
Shriver.
988
01:03:38,770 --> 01:03:40,671
Oh, sorry.
Come on.
989
01:03:40,806 --> 01:03:44,108
So, I'm gonna run some errands,
and then we'll stop by
my house and change.
990
01:03:49,413 --> 01:03:51,015
[exhales]
How about me?
I look like a bum.
991
01:03:51,148 --> 01:03:55,286
Oh, you're the writer.
You're allowed to be
who you are.
992
01:03:56,087 --> 01:03:58,222
And what about you?
You're a writer too.
993
01:03:59,323 --> 01:04:01,760
People don't see me that way
around here.
994
01:04:05,998 --> 01:04:07,331
I hate this party.
995
01:04:07,465 --> 01:04:08,967
I wish we could just skip it.
996
01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:11,035
Let's skip it.
No, we can't.
997
01:04:11,168 --> 01:04:12,637
Why not?
Because.
998
01:04:12,771 --> 01:04:15,439
Dr. Bedrosian's
the key benefactor
for the festival.
999
01:04:15,573 --> 01:04:17,910
This is the night
that we go to her house,
1000
01:04:18,042 --> 01:04:21,412
we make her feel very important.
1001
01:04:24,248 --> 01:04:25,583
More precisely,
1002
01:04:25,717 --> 01:04:30,555
you are going
to make her feel
really important.
1003
01:04:31,389 --> 01:04:33,792
It's called singing
for your supper.
1004
01:04:34,625 --> 01:04:36,160
I see.
1005
01:04:36,294 --> 01:04:39,330
I mean, to be clear,
you don't have to sing
1006
01:04:39,463 --> 01:04:43,835
every tune
Dr. Bedrosian asks you to sing.
1007
01:04:43,969 --> 01:04:45,102
You know what I mean.
1008
01:04:45,236 --> 01:04:47,839
What does Dr. Bedrosian teach?
1009
01:04:47,973 --> 01:04:49,942
Oh, she's not at the university.
1010
01:04:50,074 --> 01:04:52,543
She's a local gynecologist.
1011
01:04:53,045 --> 01:04:54,145
Huh.
1012
01:05:00,451 --> 01:05:04,088
[chuckles]
You did not buy those.
1013
01:05:05,423 --> 01:05:07,158
I wanna get you
to sign 'em for me.
1014
01:05:07,291 --> 01:05:10,829
I could have given you a copy.
I have boxes of them.
1015
01:05:10,963 --> 01:05:12,530
Really?
[softly] Yeah.
1016
01:05:12,663 --> 01:05:14,432
Your books,
they should be out in the world,
1017
01:05:14,565 --> 01:05:16,868
because what I've read
so far is, uh--
1018
01:05:18,202 --> 01:05:20,404
it's truly extraordinary.
1019
01:05:21,039 --> 01:05:22,673
I had lots of dreams.
1020
01:05:24,342 --> 01:05:27,178
But then I, you know,
1021
01:05:27,879 --> 01:05:29,715
had to deal with reality.
1022
01:05:31,315 --> 01:05:32,918
People try to give me advice:
1023
01:05:33,051 --> 01:05:35,553
get online, get a website,
1024
01:05:36,187 --> 01:05:37,688
build a platform.
1025
01:05:38,890 --> 01:05:41,093
They say it's more important
than the actual writing.
1026
01:05:41,258 --> 01:05:43,028
How cynical is that?
1027
01:05:43,160 --> 01:05:46,230
You know, then there's... you.
1028
01:05:46,364 --> 01:05:48,232
You're nowhere to be found.
1029
01:05:48,366 --> 01:05:51,903
You practically deny
that you're the author
of your own book.
1030
01:05:52,037 --> 01:05:56,008
You play little mind games
every time someone asks you
a straight question.
1031
01:05:56,140 --> 01:06:01,445
And you, more than anyone,
have let your work
speak for itself.
1032
01:06:01,579 --> 01:06:06,617
I let my work speak for itself
and no one listens.
1033
01:06:09,955 --> 01:06:12,590
I, uh, should finish.
We're gonna be late.
1034
01:06:17,129 --> 01:06:18,562
I'll make you a deal.
1035
01:06:19,798 --> 01:06:23,534
You read me some of Goat Time --
my own private reading,
1036
01:06:23,668 --> 01:06:26,637
and I'll sign your books.
1037
01:06:29,607 --> 01:06:30,675
Hmm.
1038
01:06:33,377 --> 01:06:35,346
Well,
what do you want me to read?
1039
01:06:35,479 --> 01:06:37,581
Just any of the pages
that I dog-eared.
1040
01:06:37,716 --> 01:06:38,817
Out loud?
1041
01:06:38,950 --> 01:06:40,786
No, silently.
1042
01:06:40,919 --> 01:06:42,453
Yes, out loud.
1043
01:06:57,668 --> 01:06:59,570
"In the days, then weeks,
1044
01:06:59,705 --> 01:07:02,974
then months
following my wife's departure,
1045
01:07:04,442 --> 01:07:06,878
I kept expecting
to feel something.
1046
01:07:09,047 --> 01:07:10,381
Yet I felt nothing.
1047
01:07:10,514 --> 01:07:13,284
No grief, no loss, no sadness.
1048
01:07:14,518 --> 01:07:17,354
I experienced only weariness
1049
01:07:17,488 --> 01:07:23,294
as if I were hoisting
a heavy bucket
from a well of infinite depth.
1050
01:07:24,328 --> 01:07:25,463
[sniffs]
1051
01:07:25,596 --> 01:07:28,934
Then one day,
as I was taking the bus,
1052
01:07:29,067 --> 01:07:33,105
heading downtown
to meet Franz for lunch,
I saw a man.
1053
01:07:34,206 --> 01:07:38,844
He was about my age, my height,
wearing a long tweed overcoat
1054
01:07:39,845 --> 01:07:42,513
exactly like the one
1055
01:07:42,646 --> 01:07:46,250
I had left behind
at a rail station
many years ago.
1056
01:07:48,452 --> 01:07:51,422
That long-ago day had begun
with a wintry chill
1057
01:07:51,555 --> 01:07:56,161
that blossomed into warmth
as the noon hour approached.
1058
01:07:56,293 --> 01:07:59,965
I removed the coat
and folded it
on the bench beside me.
1059
01:08:00,766 --> 01:08:04,602
Then I dozed, dreaming, I think,
1060
01:08:04,736 --> 01:08:07,706
and woke to the final call
for my train.
1061
01:08:07,839 --> 01:08:10,541
I stood and ran,
leaving the coat behind.
1062
01:08:10,674 --> 01:08:15,679
It was over a year,
the following winter, before
I realized it was missing.
1063
01:08:17,348 --> 01:08:20,218
The more I examined
the man's coat,
1064
01:08:21,153 --> 01:08:24,790
the more convinced I became
that it had been mine.
1065
01:08:26,290 --> 01:08:28,727
Why was he wearing it?
It was April.
1066
01:08:28,860 --> 01:08:31,629
I, myself, was wearing
only a light jacket.
1067
01:08:32,931 --> 01:08:36,300
When the bus came to my stop,
he got off.
1068
01:08:36,433 --> 01:08:37,969
I decided to follow him.
1069
01:08:38,103 --> 01:08:41,907
He crossed Seventh Avenue
and began walking
on 21st Street.
1070
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:45,543
He stopped for a moment
at a newsstand
1071
01:08:45,676 --> 01:08:48,379
and read the headlines
on some of the tabloids.
1072
01:08:48,512 --> 01:08:50,015
He checked his watch.
1073
01:08:50,148 --> 01:08:51,549
I checked mine.
1074
01:08:51,682 --> 01:08:53,852
I followed the man
for a few hundred feet
1075
01:08:53,985 --> 01:08:56,755
and saw him enter
the very same café
1076
01:08:56,888 --> 01:08:59,891
where I had arranged
to meet Franz.
1077
01:09:00,025 --> 01:09:05,362
I watched him through the window
as he squeezed between
several tables
1078
01:09:05,496 --> 01:09:08,033
and then,
to my shock and amazement,
1079
01:09:08,733 --> 01:09:11,335
stopped and greeted Franz.
1080
01:09:12,469 --> 01:09:14,672
The two men hugged,
1081
01:09:14,806 --> 01:09:17,008
and then he sat
across from Franz
1082
01:09:17,142 --> 01:09:20,846
as if he had been the one
with the lunch date.
1083
01:09:20,979 --> 01:09:22,848
I stood watching them
consume their meal.
1084
01:09:22,981 --> 01:09:26,483
The man had an omelet
while Franz chose
the salad Niçoise,
1085
01:09:26,617 --> 01:09:29,486
along with a bottle
of my favorite Sancerre.
1086
01:09:32,958 --> 01:09:36,527
I hated this stranger
out in the world,
1087
01:09:38,063 --> 01:09:39,597
living my life,
1088
01:09:40,664 --> 01:09:43,768
eating my lunch,
breathing my oxygen.
1089
01:09:46,370 --> 01:09:51,408
A time would come
when circumstances
would force me to confront him.
1090
01:09:52,643 --> 01:09:55,446
I walked all the way home."
1091
01:10:15,834 --> 01:10:16,868
Mmm.
1092
01:10:17,335 --> 01:10:19,938
[mouthing words]
1093
01:10:20,071 --> 01:10:21,438
Sorry. I just...
1094
01:10:26,211 --> 01:10:27,444
You look nice.
1095
01:10:29,180 --> 01:10:31,582
Nice? That--
That's all you-- you got?
1096
01:10:31,716 --> 01:10:33,450
Oh, no, no.
I meant, uh, great.
1097
01:10:33,584 --> 01:10:37,789
Thank you. [chuckles]
And, you know,
spectacular. Uh, stellar.
1098
01:10:37,923 --> 01:10:38,890
Yeah?
1099
01:10:39,024 --> 01:10:41,558
Do we really have to
go to this party?
1100
01:10:42,160 --> 01:10:43,929
Yes.
Okay.
1101
01:10:44,495 --> 01:10:45,730
Oh, my purse.
1102
01:10:50,434 --> 01:10:53,204
Oh, hey. Yeah, you promised.
1103
01:10:53,338 --> 01:10:55,572
You gotta sign the book.
1104
01:10:57,709 --> 01:11:01,713
Um, why don't we do that
after the party?
1105
01:11:03,647 --> 01:11:06,117
Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
Yeah.
1106
01:11:06,718 --> 01:11:08,920
[guests chattering]
1107
01:11:17,729 --> 01:11:18,863
[Simone] Okay.
1108
01:11:18,997 --> 01:11:21,733
[sighs]
Bourbon, if you don't mind.
1109
01:11:24,568 --> 01:11:25,904
Can we go now?
1110
01:11:26,037 --> 01:11:29,174
Okay, here she comes.
Just humor her.
1111
01:11:29,307 --> 01:11:31,575
Hello, Simone.
Hi.
1112
01:11:32,177 --> 01:11:34,611
Ah. Mr. Shriver.
1113
01:11:34,746 --> 01:11:37,215
It's quite an honor
to have you here
1114
01:11:37,349 --> 01:11:39,250
in my not-so-humble abode.
1115
01:11:39,384 --> 01:11:40,719
Thank you.
1116
01:11:40,852 --> 01:11:43,121
I do hope you'll be
comfortable here.
1117
01:11:43,254 --> 01:11:46,657
You know, I try to maintain
a level of urban sophistication
1118
01:11:46,791 --> 01:11:48,659
in this cultural wasteland.
1119
01:11:48,793 --> 01:11:50,362
Yeah, I can see that.
1120
01:11:50,494 --> 01:11:53,664
You know, I just think
it's important to--
to set an example.
1121
01:11:53,798 --> 01:11:57,435
And having you here
is a big part of that.
1122
01:11:57,568 --> 01:12:00,238
It's worth every penny
of my donation.
1123
01:12:00,839 --> 01:12:02,173
Now, you see, I'm... [sighs]
1124
01:12:02,307 --> 01:12:05,010
...I don't know,
kind of a nut for literature.
1125
01:12:05,609 --> 01:12:06,745
Who's that guy?
1126
01:12:06,878 --> 01:12:09,580
I have no idea.
Come and see my library.
1127
01:12:18,790 --> 01:12:21,159
This does not
appear to be a library.
1128
01:12:21,292 --> 01:12:24,095
Yes, but this is
where I do my best work.
1129
01:12:26,164 --> 01:12:27,598
Here it is.
1130
01:12:27,732 --> 01:12:30,201
First edition,
mint condition.
1131
01:12:31,169 --> 01:12:34,472
I don't have to tell you,
I paid a fortune for this.
1132
01:12:34,605 --> 01:12:38,910
Is there anything
that I could do
to get you to sign it for me?
1133
01:12:39,044 --> 01:12:40,577
[Delta] Are you a writer?
1134
01:12:42,914 --> 01:12:44,482
I know who you are.
1135
01:12:44,615 --> 01:12:45,950
[grunts]
1136
01:12:47,752 --> 01:12:49,220
Anything at all?
1137
01:12:51,523 --> 01:12:52,757
A pen.
1138
01:12:53,590 --> 01:12:54,691
Pen.
1139
01:12:54,826 --> 01:12:56,693
I think I need to
go to the bathroom.
1140
01:12:57,495 --> 01:12:58,730
Jesus.
1141
01:13:11,076 --> 01:13:12,977
[phone rings]
1142
01:13:13,111 --> 01:13:14,645
Hey, hey.
1143
01:13:15,780 --> 01:13:18,383
Shriver residence. Jeeves here.
1144
01:13:18,516 --> 01:13:19,616
[Shriver] Lenny, it's me.
1145
01:13:19,751 --> 01:13:21,419
What's the prize?
1146
01:13:21,553 --> 01:13:23,687
I think I'm Shriver.
Yeah, you're Shriver.
What? So?
1147
01:13:23,822 --> 01:13:27,459
No, the Shriver.
It's nuts, but it all fits.
1148
01:13:27,591 --> 01:13:30,028
I'm remembering his life.
My life.
1149
01:13:30,161 --> 01:13:35,233
I-- What have you been
smoking out there?
I mean, that is crazy.
1150
01:13:36,401 --> 01:13:38,036
Is everything okay in there?
1151
01:13:38,635 --> 01:13:40,338
Yeah, I'm fine.
1152
01:13:41,206 --> 01:13:43,007
[Lenny] What?
It all makes sense now.
1153
01:13:43,141 --> 01:13:45,710
I'm not an impostor.
I wrote Goat Time.
1154
01:13:45,844 --> 01:13:47,545
It's all inside me.
1155
01:13:47,678 --> 01:13:50,882
Forgetting that you
wrote a book
and being a famous person?
1156
01:13:51,015 --> 01:13:53,218
I don't know. Really?
1157
01:13:53,351 --> 01:13:55,753
Writing that book
cost me everything.
1158
01:13:55,887 --> 01:13:57,654
And I--
If I could forget that,
1159
01:13:57,789 --> 01:14:01,860
do you think it's possible
I could forget
committing a murder?
1160
01:14:02,961 --> 01:14:05,830
Uh, you're just
talking hypothetical, right?
1161
01:14:05,964 --> 01:14:09,767
I-- I don't know.
All I know is I'm Shriver.
1162
01:14:10,535 --> 01:14:12,237
And I might be in trouble.
1163
01:14:13,872 --> 01:14:16,441
Okay. [chuckles]
Sure.
1164
01:14:16,574 --> 01:14:19,144
No, I'm Shriver.
1165
01:14:22,313 --> 01:14:24,115
I am the Shriver.
1166
01:14:25,216 --> 01:14:26,518
[gasps]
1167
01:14:26,650 --> 01:14:28,786
All right, all right.
Take a pill, man.
1168
01:14:28,920 --> 01:14:30,421
I'm Shriver!
1169
01:14:31,322 --> 01:14:32,357
Hello?
1170
01:14:33,725 --> 01:14:36,794
Oh, I was beginning
to worry about you.
1171
01:14:38,662 --> 01:14:40,098
Sorry.
1172
01:14:54,312 --> 01:14:55,513
[grunts]
1173
01:14:55,647 --> 01:14:58,816
So, uh, what about dinner?
1174
01:14:58,950 --> 01:15:01,619
Dinner can wait.
But I'm famished now.
1175
01:15:01,753 --> 01:15:04,088
Oh, please,
talk to me about literature.
1176
01:15:04,222 --> 01:15:05,089
[grunts]
1177
01:15:05,223 --> 01:15:07,625
I had this bed
shipped from Positano.
1178
01:15:07,759 --> 01:15:10,628
Oh, she weighs so much,
we had to reinforce
the floor underneath her.
1179
01:15:10,762 --> 01:15:14,232
I want you to read my novel.
It's a guaranteed bestseller.
1180
01:15:14,365 --> 01:15:17,235
Oh, it's got everything.
Violence and sex.
1181
01:15:17,368 --> 01:15:18,303
Yeah.
1182
01:15:18,436 --> 01:15:20,705
It's about
a beautiful gynecologist
1183
01:15:20,838 --> 01:15:22,574
who has a deep, dark secret.
1184
01:15:22,707 --> 01:15:25,043
Yeah, I know. It's about me.
1185
01:15:25,176 --> 01:15:26,878
You know what they say,
"Write what you know."
1186
01:15:27,011 --> 01:15:29,414
I want you to be hard on me,
okay?
1187
01:15:30,348 --> 01:15:33,718
Yes, yes, come on,
you literary lion!
You!
1188
01:15:33,851 --> 01:15:34,886
What?
1189
01:15:35,019 --> 01:15:36,287
Trust me doctor,
1190
01:15:36,421 --> 01:15:40,158
this is one face
not worthy of your wall of fame.
1191
01:15:40,291 --> 01:15:41,626
Simone. [grunts]
1192
01:15:41,759 --> 01:15:42,627
I gotta go.
1193
01:15:42,794 --> 01:15:45,063
Geez! But-- [scoffs]
1194
01:15:45,997 --> 01:15:47,732
You forgot my novel.
1195
01:15:50,568 --> 01:15:52,904
Simone. Simone!
1196
01:15:55,406 --> 01:15:57,308
[sighs]
1197
01:16:15,159 --> 01:16:16,894
[Simone]
There has to be something.
1198
01:16:17,028 --> 01:16:19,063
Just like, any room.
1199
01:16:20,498 --> 01:16:22,066
Simone?
1200
01:16:22,200 --> 01:16:23,768
Oh. [chuckles]
That's me.
1201
01:16:23,901 --> 01:16:25,370
Who the fuck are you?
1202
01:16:26,237 --> 01:16:27,905
I'm Shriver.
You know,
I've been wondering
1203
01:16:28,039 --> 01:16:30,475
why you've been acting
so evasive since you arrived,
1204
01:16:30,608 --> 01:16:32,977
and someone just showed up
and gave me the answer.
1205
01:16:33,111 --> 01:16:35,680
So, you're not mad
about the gynecologist?
1206
01:16:35,813 --> 01:16:36,914
Oh, please.
1207
01:16:37,048 --> 01:16:39,183
That's a relief.
But, Simone--
1208
01:16:39,317 --> 01:16:42,086
No, no, no, no.
Don't "Simone" me,
whoever you are.
1209
01:16:42,220 --> 01:16:47,292
I mean, can you honestly tell me
that you haven't been lying
to me since you got here?
1210
01:16:49,894 --> 01:16:52,230
Well, that's
a complicated question.
1211
01:16:52,363 --> 01:16:54,465
Well, technically,
I've been lying.
1212
01:16:54,599 --> 01:16:55,633
[door opens]
1213
01:16:55,768 --> 01:16:58,102
But it turns out
the lies are true.
1214
01:16:59,003 --> 01:17:00,204
Oh, my God.
1215
01:17:00,338 --> 01:17:02,240
This place is disgusting,
Simone.
1216
01:17:02,373 --> 01:17:04,208
There's not even
paper towels in there.
1217
01:17:04,342 --> 01:17:05,576
Who is this guy?
1218
01:17:05,711 --> 01:17:06,745
I'm Shriver.
1219
01:17:06,878 --> 01:17:08,446
Oh! There he is.
1220
01:17:08,579 --> 01:17:11,149
The man of the hour.
My doppelgänger.
1221
01:17:11,282 --> 01:17:13,685
You, sir,
have caused me quite a headache.
1222
01:17:13,818 --> 01:17:15,386
I was at a beautiful ashram,
1223
01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:20,325
and I was about this close
to achieving
pure bliss and happiness
1224
01:17:20,458 --> 01:17:21,993
when I got a phone call.
Look, buddy,
1225
01:17:22,126 --> 01:17:23,461
I don't know
who you think you are,
1226
01:17:23,594 --> 01:17:24,797
but Mr. Shriver is over here.
1227
01:17:24,929 --> 01:17:26,597
No, he definitely isn't.
1228
01:17:26,732 --> 01:17:28,966
And I think you need to crawl
back to wherever you came from
1229
01:17:29,100 --> 01:17:32,303
because you're upsetting this
particularly beautiful lady
right here.
1230
01:17:32,437 --> 01:17:35,073
You stay away from her,
you impostor.
1231
01:17:35,206 --> 01:17:37,308
Impostor?
You, my friend,
are the impostor.
1232
01:17:37,442 --> 01:17:40,845
Yeah, how can you prove
that you're the real Shriver?
1233
01:17:40,978 --> 01:17:44,750
Why don't you look at
my driver's license
or any of my credit cards?
1234
01:17:44,882 --> 01:17:47,085
Here is my National Book Award.
1235
01:17:47,218 --> 01:17:49,520
This is, uh,
an invitation from the Clintons
1236
01:17:49,654 --> 01:17:52,725
to get
the National Prize
for Humanitarianism.
1237
01:17:52,857 --> 01:17:54,592
Bill's a personal friend.
1238
01:17:58,029 --> 01:18:00,531
Okay.
Yeah, it's pretty convincing.
1239
01:18:00,665 --> 01:18:03,501
You just carry this around
with you?
Yes, I do.
1240
01:18:05,103 --> 01:18:08,473
To think
I was actually beginning...
1241
01:18:13,277 --> 01:18:14,011
Simone.
1242
01:18:14,145 --> 01:18:15,513
[real Shriver] Thank you.
1243
01:18:15,947 --> 01:18:17,281
Hmm.
1244
01:18:17,415 --> 01:18:19,183
You're welcome to
come hear me read
1245
01:18:19,317 --> 01:18:22,186
if you can
stomach the humiliation.
1246
01:18:22,320 --> 01:18:24,555
[Simone] Excuse me.
Where are you going?
1247
01:18:26,557 --> 01:18:27,592
[scoffs]
1248
01:18:31,864 --> 01:18:33,498
Shriver, who is that guy?
1249
01:18:36,067 --> 01:18:38,169
He's me, I guess.
1250
01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:44,509
It's okay.
1251
01:18:55,620 --> 01:18:58,656
That other Shriver
is probably
with her right now.
1252
01:19:01,025 --> 01:19:04,095
She's kissing him,
saying, "Oh, Shriver."
1253
01:19:04,228 --> 01:19:06,130
[chuckles]
Shut up. She's not.
1254
01:19:06,264 --> 01:19:09,267
I think she has
a weakness for writers.
1255
01:19:09,902 --> 01:19:10,968
Yeah.
1256
01:19:11,102 --> 01:19:13,304
I mean, who wouldn't?
Of course.
1257
01:19:13,438 --> 01:19:16,340
You forget, Mr. Shriver,
that I knew Ms. Cleary
1258
01:19:16,474 --> 01:19:20,211
way back
when she was Simone Wasserman.
1259
01:19:22,513 --> 01:19:24,949
Oh, wow.
1260
01:19:25,082 --> 01:19:26,684
You didn't know.
1261
01:19:34,025 --> 01:19:36,427
So, he's the one
who broke her heart.
1262
01:19:36,561 --> 01:19:41,566
No. She chucked him
like a stinky old shoe
years ago.
1263
01:19:41,699 --> 01:19:43,000
Ah...
1264
01:19:43,134 --> 01:19:44,502
[sighs]
1265
01:19:44,635 --> 01:19:47,338
He wasn't always
the pickled poet
you see today.
1266
01:19:47,472 --> 01:19:49,741
He was her teacher.
Well, her mentor.
1267
01:19:49,875 --> 01:19:53,377
That was until
she clearly surpassed him
in every way.
1268
01:19:54,378 --> 01:19:58,082
People started paying attention,
and he couldn't deal.
1269
01:19:58,216 --> 01:20:00,017
He undermined her confidence
1270
01:20:00,151 --> 01:20:03,287
and dragged her down
every chance he got.
1271
01:20:03,421 --> 01:20:05,757
It's crazy because
I recognized her
1272
01:20:05,891 --> 01:20:10,394
in this article that I was
reading about impostor syndrome
in high-achieving women.
1273
01:20:10,528 --> 01:20:13,164
Now, you wouldn't get this
'cause you're a man,
1274
01:20:14,298 --> 01:20:16,234
but, basically,
she believed his bullshit,
1275
01:20:16,367 --> 01:20:18,002
and she lost her confidence.
1276
01:20:18,135 --> 01:20:22,774
But eventually,
she got the courage
to give him the old heave-ho.
1277
01:20:25,844 --> 01:20:28,112
And he has been spending
the last five years
1278
01:20:28,246 --> 01:20:30,816
desperately
trying to make amends.
1279
01:20:30,949 --> 01:20:32,851
And that and drinking.
1280
01:20:32,985 --> 01:20:34,853
[Karpas] There you are.
Oh, Jesus.
1281
01:20:34,987 --> 01:20:36,287
What?
1282
01:20:36,420 --> 01:20:39,023
I have been looking
all over for you,
Shriver.
1283
01:20:41,092 --> 01:20:42,861
What's new, Detective?
1284
01:20:42,995 --> 01:20:47,031
Well, I had a nice chat
with, uh,
one of the cheerleaders
1285
01:20:47,164 --> 01:20:49,267
in town for the competition
earlier tonight.
1286
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:52,403
Uh, Sophie something.
She's a lovely girl.
1287
01:20:52,537 --> 01:20:54,372
Beautiful young lady.
Yeah.
1288
01:20:54,505 --> 01:20:56,607
You know,
if I ever have a daughter,
1289
01:20:56,742 --> 01:21:00,044
she's exactly what I imagined
she'd be like at that age.
1290
01:21:00,177 --> 01:21:03,581
Anyway,
she said she saw Ms. Brown
in your room late that night.
1291
01:21:05,449 --> 01:21:07,786
She said she saw Ms. Brown?
1292
01:21:09,220 --> 01:21:10,688
She was, uh--
1293
01:21:10,822 --> 01:21:13,224
Yeah, she was--
she was performing
an aerial flip.
1294
01:21:13,357 --> 01:21:16,294
Pretty much
as you described it
earlier today.
1295
01:21:16,427 --> 01:21:19,297
She said Ms. Brown
was passed out on your bed.
1296
01:21:20,565 --> 01:21:22,968
I have no recollection of that.
1297
01:21:23,835 --> 01:21:26,604
You're the last known
sighting of our poet.
1298
01:21:27,806 --> 01:21:29,173
Excuse me. I'm sorry,
1299
01:21:29,307 --> 01:21:31,175
are you trying to insinuate
that Mr. Shriver had any--
1300
01:21:31,309 --> 01:21:33,144
Everyone's a suspect.
1301
01:21:33,712 --> 01:21:34,746
Everyone.
1302
01:21:35,479 --> 01:21:36,480
Okay.
1303
01:21:36,614 --> 01:21:38,717
Well, then are you
investigating the impostor
1304
01:21:38,850 --> 01:21:41,954
that is running around here
pretending to be our Shriver?
1305
01:21:42,086 --> 01:21:44,856
Impostor?
Okay.
Yeah.
1306
01:21:44,990 --> 01:21:47,025
And while you're in
your little notebook...
Uh-huh.
1307
01:21:47,158 --> 01:21:52,263
...also take note
that Ms. Brown had left the room
while I was in there.
1308
01:21:55,067 --> 01:21:56,500
[inhales]
1309
01:21:57,301 --> 01:21:59,071
Sophie didn't mention
seeing you there.
1310
01:21:59,203 --> 01:22:01,639
Yeah, well,
I must have been in the can.
1311
01:22:04,776 --> 01:22:05,811
I see.
1312
01:22:09,213 --> 01:22:10,882
[Karpas] Hmm.
Hey, Detective.
1313
01:22:11,016 --> 01:22:13,986
Didn't you say you were trying
to track down my ex-wife?
1314
01:22:14,118 --> 01:22:15,653
Yeah. Yeah,
that is an interesting case.
1315
01:22:15,787 --> 01:22:18,757
But I believe
the answers are out there.
1316
01:22:18,890 --> 01:22:20,859
Hey, some might be in here.
1317
01:22:29,233 --> 01:22:30,534
[exhales sharply]
1318
01:22:31,669 --> 01:22:32,804
[chuckles]
1319
01:22:33,972 --> 01:22:35,439
Wow.
1320
01:22:35,573 --> 01:22:41,278
This is probably
the best festival
I've ever been to.
1321
01:22:41,412 --> 01:22:43,214
This shit is wild!
1322
01:23:10,274 --> 01:23:11,475
Hi.
1323
01:23:11,609 --> 01:23:12,778
Hi.
1324
01:23:14,612 --> 01:23:18,182
Uh, I locked my key
in my room, so...
1325
01:23:18,649 --> 01:23:19,751
Oh.
1326
01:23:19,885 --> 01:23:20,886
Sorry.
1327
01:23:21,385 --> 01:23:22,921
You look stressed.
1328
01:23:23,055 --> 01:23:26,290
Things are going poorly for me.
1329
01:23:26,424 --> 01:23:28,727
They say you're a famous writer
named Shriver.
1330
01:23:29,961 --> 01:23:32,964
There seems to be
some disagreement about that.
1331
01:23:34,398 --> 01:23:35,801
I'm gonna cheer for you.
1332
01:23:37,903 --> 01:23:40,038
♪ Shriver, Shriver
Ready to write ♪
1333
01:23:40,172 --> 01:23:42,040
♪ Get on out there
Fight, fight, fight ♪
1334
01:23:42,174 --> 01:23:44,442
♪ The pen is mightier
Than the sword, they say ♪
1335
01:23:44,575 --> 01:23:46,978
♪ So you can crush them
Any day ♪
1336
01:23:50,448 --> 01:23:51,883
Does that help people?
1337
01:23:52,017 --> 01:23:53,417
Seems to.
1338
01:23:56,722 --> 01:23:58,924
Finals are today.
Good luck.
1339
01:23:59,057 --> 01:24:00,658
Don't need it.
1340
01:24:03,594 --> 01:24:05,262
Hey, excuse me. I, uh--
1341
01:24:05,396 --> 01:24:08,767
I need a key for my room.
I got locked out of my room
yesterday.
1342
01:24:08,900 --> 01:24:10,367
Um...
1343
01:24:11,368 --> 01:24:12,904
I don't seem to have one.
1344
01:24:14,371 --> 01:24:16,742
What about the maid?
Does the maid have one?
1345
01:24:16,875 --> 01:24:19,778
Why don't you go
grab some breakfast
while I go find her?
1346
01:24:20,277 --> 01:24:21,345
Hmm.
1347
01:24:21,479 --> 01:24:24,281
Oh, wait.
She's out sick today.
1348
01:24:24,415 --> 01:24:26,383
She-- You--
1349
01:24:26,517 --> 01:24:28,352
What do you mean?
What kind of hotel is this?
1350
01:24:28,486 --> 01:24:30,122
You got one maid
for the whole place?
1351
01:24:30,254 --> 01:24:32,690
Yeah. She's really fast.
1352
01:24:32,824 --> 01:24:34,926
Who is this guy?
1353
01:24:35,060 --> 01:24:37,328
He's me, apparently.
1354
01:24:38,163 --> 01:24:39,530
What? Okay,
1355
01:24:39,663 --> 01:24:44,301
I heard that you explored
Dr. Bedrosian's library.
1356
01:24:45,336 --> 01:24:46,872
I swear to God,
I didn't do anything.
1357
01:24:47,005 --> 01:24:49,607
Really? You'd be the first.
Yeah.
1358
01:24:52,210 --> 01:24:53,712
Uh-oh.
1359
01:24:53,845 --> 01:24:55,814
Oh, don't--
don't say I'm here.
1360
01:24:57,983 --> 01:25:00,584
Teresa. Have you seen him?
1361
01:25:00,719 --> 01:25:02,453
Seen who?
[Simone] You know who.
1362
01:25:02,586 --> 01:25:04,655
I'll bet you
that's his porridge.
1363
01:25:05,924 --> 01:25:07,926
Well, is-- is it his?
1364
01:25:08,059 --> 01:25:09,426
He left.
1365
01:25:12,663 --> 01:25:16,268
The lady from the college
says you have to be out of
your room by checkout time.
1366
01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:17,836
When's checkout time?
1367
01:25:17,969 --> 01:25:19,104
Half an hour ago.
1368
01:25:19,237 --> 01:25:21,239
We're gonna have to
charge you for an extra day.
1369
01:25:21,372 --> 01:25:22,774
May I have a credit card?
1370
01:25:23,674 --> 01:25:25,442
[door opens]
[Teresa] All right,
1371
01:25:25,576 --> 01:25:28,546
you can stay
at my place
just until we find the key.
1372
01:25:28,679 --> 01:25:30,782
Oh, damn.
It's not that bad.
1373
01:25:30,916 --> 01:25:32,017
Not that.
1374
01:25:32,150 --> 01:25:34,920
You made my month, friend.
1375
01:25:35,053 --> 01:25:38,957
You have given me
the literary story of the year.
1376
01:25:39,090 --> 01:25:44,095
An impostor shows up
pretending to be
the reclusive author.
1377
01:25:44,229 --> 01:25:47,899
My story forces
the real author
out of hiding.
1378
01:25:48,033 --> 01:25:51,368
I mean,
this is just
unbelievably ironic.
1379
01:25:51,502 --> 01:25:53,404
I'm gonna sell it
to The New Yorker.
1380
01:25:55,073 --> 01:25:57,075
All right, let's go.
1381
01:25:57,209 --> 01:25:58,442
Sorry.
1382
01:26:01,345 --> 01:26:03,715
[knocks on door]
Are you good in there?
1383
01:26:04,582 --> 01:26:06,218
I'm fine.
1384
01:26:06,350 --> 01:26:08,019
[doorbell rings]
1385
01:26:09,054 --> 01:26:11,555
[T.] All right, where is he?
[door closes]
1386
01:26:13,158 --> 01:26:14,759
Shriver!
[knocks on door]
1387
01:26:14,893 --> 01:26:16,161
Shriver!
1388
01:26:16,294 --> 01:26:17,796
Shriver.
1389
01:26:20,298 --> 01:26:21,599
Shriver!
[grunts]
1390
01:26:21,733 --> 01:26:24,702
Shriver! What are you
gonna do about this?
1391
01:26:25,971 --> 01:26:27,438
I need a towel.
1392
01:26:29,207 --> 01:26:33,611
This is one of
the great literary hoaxes
of all time.
1393
01:26:33,745 --> 01:26:36,781
We have a brazen impostor
in our midst.
1394
01:26:36,915 --> 01:26:38,750
Well, are you talking about
me or him?
1395
01:26:38,884 --> 01:26:42,620
When I first heard about
the charlatan,
I so wanted to believe him.
1396
01:26:43,454 --> 01:26:46,657
Okay, I--
I doubted you for a moment.
1397
01:26:48,026 --> 01:26:49,560
I was jealous.
1398
01:26:49,693 --> 01:26:52,563
I could see my ex-wife was
falling in love with you.
1399
01:26:53,198 --> 01:26:54,698
Love?
Never in my days
1400
01:26:54,833 --> 01:26:56,735
have I seen a writer,
a real writer,
1401
01:26:56,868 --> 01:27:00,739
who didn't walk around thinking
his shit didn't smell like
eau de cologne.
1402
01:27:00,872 --> 01:27:02,606
But you, Shriver...
[chuckles]
1403
01:27:02,741 --> 01:27:05,343
...you walk around like
an insecure grad student,
1404
01:27:05,476 --> 01:27:07,112
waiting for someone
to come up and say,
1405
01:27:07,245 --> 01:27:11,582
"Okay, time to hang up the pen.
Start mongering fish
for a living."
1406
01:27:13,484 --> 01:27:14,920
What happened to you?
1407
01:27:16,654 --> 01:27:18,555
I have theories.
1408
01:27:19,024 --> 01:27:20,191
Me too.
1409
01:27:20,325 --> 01:27:22,693
You're crazy. [laughs]
1410
01:27:22,827 --> 01:27:25,263
You know how I know that?
'Cause I'm crazy too.
1411
01:27:25,397 --> 01:27:27,933
I'm just not crazy enough
to believe for a moment
1412
01:27:28,066 --> 01:27:30,601
that you aren't
the author of Goat Time.
1413
01:27:30,735 --> 01:27:33,504
Now, get your ass out of there.
Come on.
1414
01:27:33,637 --> 01:27:38,143
In 15 minutes, that fraud
is gonna be feted
by the university president.
1415
01:27:38,276 --> 01:27:40,745
Then he's going to be escorted
over to the auditorium,
1416
01:27:40,879 --> 01:27:45,683
where he's gonna read
from your book
and claim your prize.
1417
01:27:45,817 --> 01:27:47,618
And, no, it's not a car.
1418
01:27:47,752 --> 01:27:50,521
It's a crappy plaque.
1419
01:28:02,533 --> 01:28:03,768
We're off.
1420
01:28:05,370 --> 01:28:07,405
Where's Teresa?
Oh. [chuckles]
1421
01:28:07,538 --> 01:28:10,442
She went over to straighten out
your situation at the hotel.
1422
01:28:10,574 --> 01:28:12,243
How we gonna get to
the university?
1423
01:28:12,711 --> 01:28:14,746
[horse whinnies]
1424
01:28:15,747 --> 01:28:17,882
[classical music playing]
1425
01:28:27,691 --> 01:28:29,861
[no audible dialogue]
1426
01:28:37,701 --> 01:28:39,004
[tapping on microphone]
1427
01:28:53,451 --> 01:28:54,551
[music ends]
1428
01:28:54,685 --> 01:28:56,054
Here you go, my good man.
1429
01:28:57,355 --> 01:29:00,291
Ah, if it isn't
Victor Lustig here
to sell us the Eiffel Tower.
1430
01:29:00,425 --> 01:29:02,060
Ladies and gentlemen,
1431
01:29:02,193 --> 01:29:04,829
I give you Shriver.
[college president]
What's going on here?
1432
01:29:04,963 --> 01:29:07,098
Okay, you got a lot of balls.
The both of you.
1433
01:29:07,232 --> 01:29:09,666
No, I--
I just wanna apologize.
That's all.
1434
01:29:09,801 --> 01:29:10,969
What the hell for?
1435
01:29:11,102 --> 01:29:13,238
Because I came here
under false pretenses.
1436
01:29:13,371 --> 01:29:14,973
Apology not accepted.
1437
01:29:17,541 --> 01:29:19,477
That man is a fraud.
Oh, come on.
1438
01:29:19,610 --> 01:29:23,915
A fake. An impostor.
Would you shut up,
you smelly old drunk?
1439
01:29:24,049 --> 01:29:26,985
Say what you need to say
and you go.
1440
01:29:28,520 --> 01:29:30,188
Go get her, Shriver.
1441
01:29:46,104 --> 01:29:50,175
Look, first of all, I, uh--
I really just wanted to say
1442
01:29:50,308 --> 01:29:54,345
what a privilege it has been
for me to be here,
1443
01:29:55,547 --> 01:29:57,449
to be amongst all of you.
1444
01:29:57,581 --> 01:30:03,388
Mr. Bennet, I am so looking
forward to finally attending
one of your performances.
1445
01:30:04,122 --> 01:30:07,358
I wish that Ms. Brown was here,
1446
01:30:07,492 --> 01:30:11,930
but I'm going to read
every single one of her poems.
1447
01:30:13,664 --> 01:30:15,834
And, uh, to Ms. Layla,
1448
01:30:15,967 --> 01:30:18,937
I hope one day
that you'll do me the privilege
1449
01:30:19,070 --> 01:30:21,973
of allowing me to eat
one of your sculptures.
1450
01:30:22,107 --> 01:30:27,678
T., Ms. Teresa, all of you,
just such extraordinary people.
1451
01:30:27,812 --> 01:30:31,615
You've treated me
with respect and courtesy,
1452
01:30:31,749 --> 01:30:33,718
and I will always remember you.
1453
01:30:34,452 --> 01:30:36,354
Very fondly.
1454
01:30:39,090 --> 01:30:41,926
But most of all, I wanted
to thank Professor Cleary
1455
01:30:42,060 --> 01:30:47,298
for allowing me the opportunity
to find myself.
1456
01:30:48,233 --> 01:30:49,200
It's a--
1457
01:30:49,334 --> 01:30:50,568
[Brown] This is wonderful.
1458
01:30:50,701 --> 01:30:52,937
This is the most
wonderful thing
I've read in ages.
1459
01:30:53,071 --> 01:30:55,206
She was hiding in your room
the whole time.
1460
01:30:55,340 --> 01:30:58,109
I fell asleep under your bed
and woke up yesterday afternoon.
1461
01:30:58,243 --> 01:31:01,212
I didn't wanna deal with Layla,
so I started writing
some new poetry,
1462
01:31:01,346 --> 01:31:05,583
and when you didn't come back
to your hotel room last night,
I figured I'd stay another day.
1463
01:31:05,717 --> 01:31:07,651
And that's-- [chuckles]
1464
01:31:07,785 --> 01:31:09,686
That's when I found this.
1465
01:31:09,821 --> 01:31:12,557
This masterpiece.
1466
01:31:13,124 --> 01:31:14,658
[Victor] What did you eat?
1467
01:31:14,792 --> 01:31:16,728
Just sort of curious, I guess.
1468
01:31:16,861 --> 01:31:18,763
His granola bars.
1469
01:31:19,764 --> 01:31:21,266
In your tote bag.
1470
01:31:21,399 --> 01:31:24,969
Okay, okay, okay. Can we please
put an end to this buffoonery?
1471
01:31:25,103 --> 01:31:26,604
I'm sorry. This is ridiculous.
I--
1472
01:31:26,738 --> 01:31:27,671
Come on, Simone.
1473
01:31:27,805 --> 01:31:29,541
Uh, who's this?
1474
01:31:29,673 --> 01:31:31,476
Well, I think Shriver--
1475
01:31:31,609 --> 01:31:32,644
Yes, I'm Shriver.
1476
01:31:32,777 --> 01:31:34,579
That's-- That's cuckoo.
1477
01:31:34,979 --> 01:31:36,447
You're cuckoo.
1478
01:31:40,151 --> 01:31:43,188
May I present Mr. Cheadum.
1479
01:31:44,022 --> 01:31:46,690
Shriver's agent.
[crowd murmuring]
1480
01:31:46,824 --> 01:31:48,526
Good to see you again, Shriver.
1481
01:31:48,660 --> 01:31:50,228
Good to see you.
Looking good.
Yes.
1482
01:31:50,361 --> 01:31:52,463
Thank you.
Well, this settles that.
So why don't you two--
1483
01:31:52,597 --> 01:31:53,731
Settles what?
1484
01:31:53,865 --> 01:31:56,901
This is the real Shriver.
1485
01:31:57,302 --> 01:31:58,403
Oh.
1486
01:31:58,536 --> 01:31:59,737
I'm sorry.
No, it's--
1487
01:31:59,871 --> 01:32:01,873
Sorry.
No. What are you sorry about?
1488
01:32:05,076 --> 01:32:07,445
You don't know your own clients?
1489
01:32:08,112 --> 01:32:09,614
Oh, well,
we've only met once,
1490
01:32:09,747 --> 01:32:11,282
and I was 15.
1491
01:32:11,416 --> 01:32:14,252
Uh, my father was
Mr. Shriver's original agent,
1492
01:32:14,385 --> 01:32:17,455
and I inherited him
with the agency.
1493
01:32:22,527 --> 01:32:23,962
Okay, nobody move.
1494
01:32:25,863 --> 01:32:30,735
Jesus fucking Christ, Simone.
What have you
brought down on us?
1495
01:32:30,868 --> 01:32:34,072
Would the, uh, real Shriver
please step forward?
1496
01:32:39,377 --> 01:32:42,180
Come on, is nobody here
the author of this book?
1497
01:32:42,313 --> 01:32:46,484
This kaleidoscopic dissection
of the human condition?
1498
01:32:46,618 --> 01:32:49,153
This phantasmagorical allegory?
1499
01:32:50,288 --> 01:32:51,689
This is Shriver.
1500
01:32:52,423 --> 01:32:54,392
And I just wanna say
I'm so sorry.
1501
01:32:54,525 --> 01:32:55,860
Not so fast, Professor.
1502
01:32:55,994 --> 01:32:57,228
That's not Shriver.
1503
01:32:57,362 --> 01:33:00,465
Ms. Brown.
I will note that you are alive.
1504
01:33:00,598 --> 01:33:03,034
So, you say you're Shriver?
1505
01:33:03,501 --> 01:33:04,969
Absolutely.
1506
01:33:10,341 --> 01:33:12,176
What is going on? Simone.
Wait. Stop it.
1507
01:33:12,310 --> 01:33:14,045
What are you doing
with Mr. Shriver?
Would you please tell him--
1508
01:33:14,178 --> 01:33:17,115
This is crazy.
That's not Mr. Shriver.
1509
01:33:19,718 --> 01:33:22,186
Why are you doing that?
I'm-- This is ridiculous.
1510
01:33:22,320 --> 01:33:24,222
Simone,
will you please tell them--
Shut up, please.
1511
01:33:24,355 --> 01:33:27,258
This man
is a professional impostor.
What?
1512
01:33:27,392 --> 01:33:29,927
Yeah. His real name:
Herbert Davies.
1513
01:33:30,061 --> 01:33:31,663
He's from Baltimore.
Never been there.
1514
01:33:31,796 --> 01:33:34,032
This guy has claimed to be
a number of important people,
1515
01:33:34,165 --> 01:33:36,034
including the Chairman
of the Federal Reserve...
1516
01:33:36,167 --> 01:33:40,371
I don't even know what that is.
...and the Archbishop
of Canterbury.
1517
01:33:41,406 --> 01:33:43,841
Yeah, just-- just do it. Do it.
[officer] Stop running!
1518
01:33:43,975 --> 01:33:45,610
[attendee] Oh, my God.
[officer] Get him!
1519
01:33:45,744 --> 01:33:47,578
[attendee 2]
Someone do something.
[attendee 3] There he goes.
1520
01:33:47,713 --> 01:33:51,015
Apparently, it's gotten him
into bed with a lot of women.
1521
01:33:51,149 --> 01:33:54,285
Several men.
[attendee 3]
They got him. They got him.
1522
01:33:57,255 --> 01:33:59,357
[officer]
Stop resisting. [grunts]
1523
01:33:59,490 --> 01:34:05,296
Byron, I think this
puts us back
on the literary map. [chuckles]
1524
01:34:07,766 --> 01:34:09,901
I'm so embarrassed.
1525
01:34:11,869 --> 01:34:13,806
I was so ready to doubt you. I--
1526
01:34:13,938 --> 01:34:15,173
No.
1527
01:34:16,240 --> 01:34:18,609
I doubted myself. I just--
1528
01:34:18,744 --> 01:34:22,413
When you said you would show up,
1529
01:34:22,547 --> 01:34:25,016
I thought it was too good
to be true.
1530
01:34:27,085 --> 01:34:28,653
I wasn't listening
to the part of myself
1531
01:34:28,787 --> 01:34:32,123
that absolutely knew
that only you
could write that book.
1532
01:34:34,525 --> 01:34:37,161
Well, how could you have known
when I didn't?
1533
01:34:43,601 --> 01:34:45,169
You knew you wrote it.
1534
01:34:46,739 --> 01:34:48,373
You didn't think you wrote it.
1535
01:34:49,273 --> 01:34:50,975
That's why you came here.
1536
01:35:00,518 --> 01:35:01,986
Can we start over?
1537
01:35:05,758 --> 01:35:06,557
What?
1538
01:35:06,691 --> 01:35:08,025
You know,
1539
01:35:09,160 --> 01:35:11,262
like, from the beginning.
1540
01:35:11,396 --> 01:35:13,866
Just start over.
None of that happened.
1541
01:35:13,998 --> 01:35:15,600
[chuckles]
1542
01:35:18,936 --> 01:35:20,171
Hi.
1543
01:35:21,707 --> 01:35:23,241
I'm Simone Cleary.
1544
01:35:27,245 --> 01:35:29,347
[applause in distance]
1545
01:35:29,480 --> 01:35:30,883
Are you ready?
1546
01:35:31,015 --> 01:35:32,383
Mmm.
1547
01:35:32,517 --> 01:35:33,918
I'm nervous.
1548
01:35:34,051 --> 01:35:35,854
[Cheadum]
I'll never forget the first time
I met Mr. Shriver.
1549
01:35:35,987 --> 01:35:39,825
My father, he said
to me, he said, "Donny,
meet Mr. Shriver,
1550
01:35:39,957 --> 01:35:41,225
the best writer
you'll ever know."
1551
01:35:41,359 --> 01:35:43,394
Some years later, my father...
1552
01:35:43,528 --> 01:35:45,096
You'll be fine.
1553
01:35:45,997 --> 01:35:47,900
...how over drinks one night,
he told me...
1554
01:35:48,032 --> 01:35:50,334
[applause]
1555
01:35:50,468 --> 01:35:51,502
Thank you.
1556
01:35:53,938 --> 01:35:56,340
[whistling, cheering]
1557
01:36:14,860 --> 01:36:16,394
And I am...
1558
01:36:18,629 --> 01:36:19,664
Shriver.
1559
01:36:24,035 --> 01:36:26,237
"The watermark
appeared on my ceiling
1560
01:36:26,370 --> 01:36:30,107
on the rainy day
my wife walked out on me.
1561
01:36:30,909 --> 01:36:33,578
At first,
it was just a small spot,
1562
01:36:33,712 --> 01:36:36,214
approximately the size
of a quarter..."