1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:08,441 ♪ ARE YOU READY OR NOT ♪ ♪ ON THE 45TH HOUR ♪ 2 00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:14,748 ♪ WINNING THE LOTTERY ♪ ♪ IT'S THROUGH THE SPITE ♪ 3 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:19,419 ♪ "THE LATE LATE SHOW." 4 00:00:19,419 --> 00:00:22,822 Reggie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ALL THE WAY FROM 5 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:26,226 INSIDE A TWO-WAY CRASHING DEVICE, GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR ONE, 6 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:29,829 THE ONLY, JAMES CORDEN! 7 00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:34,401 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] ♪ ♪ 8 00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:38,972 James: THANK YOU SO MUCH, I APPRECIATE IT. 9 00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:39,839 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 10 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:42,242 THANK YOU, EVERYBODY! 11 00:00:42,242 --> 00:00:44,711 HELLO, GOOD EVENING. 12 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:51,151 AND WELCOME TO "THE LATE LATE SHOW"! 13 00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:54,387 AND HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY TO DO THE WOMEN EVERYWHERE, 14 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:59,926 BLESS YOU, BLESS YOU FOR COMING. 15 00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:03,630 I THINK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AND SEE 16 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:07,066 WHO OUR GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT. 17 00:01:07,066 --> 00:01:08,701 HE IS AN EMMY AWARD-WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM 18 00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,503 "THE AMERICANS," "PERRY MASON," AND HIS BREAKOUT 19 00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:15,842 ROLE IN THE HUGE MOVIE "WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HAROLD SMITH?" 20 00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:21,681 THE DASHING, THE CHARMING, MATTHEW RHYS IS HERE TONIGHT! 21 00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:27,020 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OH, THAT WAS VERY GOOD. 22 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,855 Matthew: WE HAVE IT HERE. 23 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,523 James: THAT WAS VERY GOOD. 24 00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:33,393 Matthew: YEARS IN THE BIZ, LOVE. 25 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:36,262 SPEW NO WORRIES, I MADE THAT MYSELF. 26 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,497 YES, I MIX IT UP. 27 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:39,365 I MIX IT UP. 28 00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:42,168 TOMORROW I WILL PROBABLY DO A LITTLE TAXI. 29 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,971 Matthew: AFTERS. 30 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,574 James: IT'S HARD TO SAY TOUCH THE KEY IN A MOOD. 31 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:52,445 YOU ARE ONE OF THE BEST ACTORS ALIVE, IF IN YOUR SCRIPT YOU HAD 32 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:56,916 TO SAY I'M DONE WITH THIS TED SIDDIQUI, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? 33 00:01:56,916 --> 00:01:59,819 DO IT PROPER. 34 00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:03,556 AND ACTION. 35 00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:06,926 Matthew: I AM DONE WITH THIS-- 36 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:09,295 James: MATTHEW RHYS, EVERYBODY. 37 00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:12,932 SHE'S A TALENTED ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "THE PARENT TRAP," "SHALL 38 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:15,268 WE DANCE" AND HER BRILLIANT SHOW "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY." 39 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:19,939 THE SENSATIONAL, THE SCREEN ACTORS AWARD-WINNER, LISA ANN 40 00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:23,877 WALTER! 41 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:29,249 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] SHE IS HERE TONIGHT! 42 00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:29,782 Lisa Ann: HI. 43 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:31,084 James: HOW ARE YOU? 44 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,119 Lisa Ann: YOU UP GOOD COOKIES. 45 00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:35,622 James: WE DO, I'M GLAD YOU NOTICED. 46 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:36,956 Lisa Ann: I LOVE A HOME-BAKED GOOD, AS LONG AS IT 47 00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:39,592 IS NOT A POT COOKIE, BECAUSE THEN IT COULD BE A TOTALLY 48 00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:44,664 DIFFERENT SHOW. 49 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:45,698 SORRY. 50 00:02:45,698 --> 00:02:47,600 James: YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE NOT OKAY WITH THAT? 51 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,905 Lisa Ann: NO, IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? 52 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,973 James: LISA ANN WALTER, EVERYBODY! 53 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:56,843 AAND A TREMENDOUSLY TALENTED STAND-UP COMEDIAN, WE ARE 54 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,379 THRILLED AND OVERJOYED HE IS MAKING HIS LATE NIGHT STAND UP 55 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:00,914 DEBUT HERE ON "THE LATE LATE SHOW"! 56 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:05,852 THE INCREDIBLE GREG BARRIS IS HERE! 57 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:06,219 HEY, GREG. 58 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,754 I LOVE THIS. 59 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:08,621 I LOVE THIS, GREG. 60 00:03:08,621 --> 00:03:11,991 WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? 61 00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,394 Greg: I'M DOING MY PRESHOW SOUND BATH. 62 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:18,431 James: DO YOU WANT US TO OBSERVE THIS? 63 00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:22,001 Greg: SURE, THIS IS MY GONG DIED, CARL. 64 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,170 WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO IT, BUT THANKS. 65 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:30,176 [LAUGHTER] James: GREG BARRIS, 66 00:03:30,176 --> 00:03:32,645 EVERYBODY, ARE YOU READY? 67 00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,714 I AM JAMES CORDEN, AND THIS, THIS IS "THE LATE LATE SHOW." 68 00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:47,293 "THE LATE LATE SHOW," WOO! ♪ ♪ "THE LATE LATE SHOW," OH, OH, 69 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:56,536 "THE LATE LATE SHOW" OH-OH! ♪ ♪ IT'S "THE LATE, LATE SHOW" ♪ 70 00:03:56,536 --> 00:04:00,607 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: BLESS YOU. 71 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:01,474 BLESS YOU. 72 00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:04,177 PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE HAVE A SEAT. 73 00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:10,583 THERE IS A MAN IN THE FRONT ROW, I CANNOT WORK OUT, WERE YOU 74 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:15,221 SENDING ME A HEART, OR SOME SORT OF ILLUMINATI? 75 00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:16,889 ALL HEART. 76 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:22,328 James: ALL HEART FOR YOU, BABY, BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE. 77 00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:25,164 I FEEL BAD NOW, I FEEL BAD THAT WE ARE GOING TO PUNCTURE WITH 78 00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:33,006 WHAT IS OUT QUESTION A JOYOUS AND EUPHORIC FEELING IN THE 79 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:35,208 STUDIO, BUT I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT THAT I NEED TO 80 00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:43,383 MAKE, AS YOU KNOW, WE TAKE OUR JOB HERE AT "THE LATE LATE SHOW" 81 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,986 VERY SERIOUSLY, AND WE KNOW YOU LOOK TO US NOT ONLY FOR THE 82 00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:50,990 LATEST NEWS, BUT YOU LOOK TO US FOR THE TRUTH. 83 00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,359 THE ACCURATE TRUTH. 84 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:56,596 AND, THE BEST THING WE CAN DO IS HOLD OUR HANDS UP AND SAY LAST 85 00:04:56,596 --> 00:04:58,765 NIGHT WE FAILED YOU. 86 00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,601 IF YOU WATCHED THE SHOW LAST NIGHT, YOU KNOW THAT WE HAD TO 87 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:06,406 HIM DATED TO BREAK THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR TRADING 88 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:07,373 JERSEYS. 89 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:13,980 THE PREVIOUS RECORD-- PLEASE, THIS IS SERIOUS. 90 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:20,687 [LAUGHTER] THE PREVIOUS RECORD WAS 4.4 91 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:29,962 SECONDS, THE RECORD WAS ATTEMPTED BY LOUIS AND ROB. 92 00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:33,733 WRITER OF THE SHOW AND PRODUCER ON THE SHOW WHO IS KNOWN AROUND 93 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:38,104 AS HOT ROB, WHICH IS VERY DIFFICLT EVERY TIME HE IS 94 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:42,775 CALLED HOT ROB FOR OUR UPPER ROB TO COMPREHEND. 95 00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:48,281 BUT LAST NIGHT, THEY BROKE THE WORLD RECORD, AND WE CELEBRATED. 96 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:51,250 HAVE A LOOK. 97 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:53,586 THREE, TWO, ONE. 98 00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:58,925 GO. 99 00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:05,498 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OH, MY GOSH! 100 00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:10,970 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] IT WAS A MASSIVE DAY. 101 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:15,174 A LOT OF US WENT OUT, WE TORE IT UP. 102 00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:17,110 WE JUST WENT NUTS ON IT. 103 00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:20,213 WE GOT FREE DRINKS EVERYWHERE WE WENT. 104 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:24,117 PEOPLE WERE SWAPPING JERSEYS EVERYWHERE WE COULD GO. 105 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:28,387 BUT IN OUR EXCITEMENT, IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION, 106 00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:32,892 THAT WE MAY HAVE JUMPED THE GUN. 107 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,094 BEN WINSTON, OUR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER IS ON THE 108 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:35,962 LINE. 109 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,831 SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED? 110 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:45,605 NO RECORD WAS BROKEN. 111 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:50,109 ROB MOVED HIS HAND TO EARLY. 112 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:51,244 TAKE THE CLIP. 113 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:55,314 HERE HE IS, PLEASE WATCH THE RIGHT-HAND MOVING BEFORE THE 114 00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:56,582 CLOCK. 115 00:06:56,582 --> 00:07:00,586 THE RIGHT HAND, KEEP GOING, ROLL IT FORWARD. 116 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,389 LOOK AT IT, THERE IT IS. 117 00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:10,496 THAT IS A DISQUALIFICATION. 118 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:12,465 WE HAVE A NEW VIDEO FOR YOU, JAMES. 119 00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:16,002 TAKE A LOOK. 120 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:23,743 THIS IS THE ACCURATE TIME. 121 00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,312 4.63. 122 00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,982 [LAUGHTER] James: WOW. 123 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:34,821 I MEAN, ROB, LOUIS, THIS MUST BE ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING. 124 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:37,757 I JUST KNOW THAT WE CAN DO IT. 125 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:40,426 I THINK WE JUST HAVE TO GET IT GOING. 126 00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:49,936 [APPLAUSE] I KNOW THAT WE ARE RECORD 127 00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:53,005 BREAKERS. 128 00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:55,675 JAMES, THEY ARE NOT RECORD BREAKERS. 129 00:07:55,675 --> 00:08:00,780 I MEANT IT SPIRITUALLY. 130 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,783 [LAUGHTER] I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT. 131 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:08,588 JUST TO CLARIFY AGAIN, NOT A RECORD BREAKER. 132 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,157 James: ROB, IS THIS SOMETHING, WHEN WERE YOU TOLD 133 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:15,361 THE NEWS THAT THE RECORD HAD NOT BEEN BROKEN? 134 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,596 WE WERE TEXTED. 135 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:19,732 James: YOU WERE TOLD BY TEXT? 136 00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:20,967 THAT'S DISGUSTING. 137 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:22,268 I'M SORRY, THAT'S DISGUSTING. 138 00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:24,937 THAT'S AWFUL. 139 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:29,175 BEND TEXTED US IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. 140 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:35,348 James: HE TEXTED YOU AT 3:12 THIS MORNING JUST SAYING 141 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,084 YOU-- JUST SAYING WHAT? 142 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:42,221 THAT THEY ARE NOT RECORD BREAKERS. 143 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:44,090 [LAUGHTER] James: I WANT TO SAY RIGHT 144 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:47,526 NOW, IF YOU WANT TO RUN WITH THIS TOMORROW, IF YOU WANT TO 145 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:52,531 RUN WITH THIS TOMORROW, MAYBE WE JUST-- 146 00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:56,335 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] MAYBE TOMORROW AFTERNOON WITHOUT 147 00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:59,171 THE PRESSURE OF THE STUDIO AUDIENCE, WE FILM IT AND SEE IF 148 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:06,279 WE CAN BREAK THE RECORD. 149 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:12,318 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THAT'S IT, THEY WILL NOT BE 150 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,486 BEATEN. 151 00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:15,521 LOOK, THAT'S IN THE PAST. 152 00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:19,158 TODAY IS ABOUT TODAY, THE NOW, AND THE FUTURE. 153 00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:21,127 BECAUSE WE HAVE "THE NEWS" FOR YOU. 154 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,561 BECAUSE IT'S THAT TIME. 155 00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:24,497 IT'S TIME FOR "THE NEWS." 156 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,532 ACCORDING TO NEWLY REVEALED DOCUMENTS FROM THE ONGOING 157 00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:30,102 DEFAMATION SUIT AGAINST FOX NEWS, COMMENTATOR TUCKER CARLSON 158 00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:33,139 PRIVATELY ADMITTED TO HATING DONALD TRUMP-- DESPITE THE 159 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:37,209 NETWORK'S PUBLIC SUPPORT OF HIM. 160 00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:43,916 WE ARE VERY, VERY CLOSE TO BEING ABLE TO IGNORE TRUMP MOST 161 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,318 NIGHTS, I CAN'T WAIT. 162 00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:49,288 I HATE HIM PASSIONATELY. 163 00:09:49,288 --> 00:09:55,561 IMAGINE BEING LIKE I HATE HIM PASSIONATELY, AND THEN BEING 164 00:09:55,561 --> 00:10:00,666 LIKE "HERE HE IS CALLING LIVE FROM MAR-A-LAGO." 165 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:03,502 THIS HAD TO BE BRUTAL ON TUCKER CARLSON. 166 00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:04,270 HE WORKS FOR FOX NEWS. 167 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,338 THIS WOULD BE LIKE ME PASSIONATELY 168 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,572 HATING YOUNG SHELDON. 169 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:07,606 AND HERE'S CARLSON ON THE AFTERMATH OF THE CAPITOL 170 00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:08,374 RIOTS. 171 00:10:08,374 --> 00:10:12,845 "HE'S A DEMONIC FORCE, A DESTROYER. 172 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:15,147 BUT HE'S NOT GOING TO DESTROY US. 173 00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:16,816 I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS EVERY DAY FOR FOUR YEARS." 174 00:10:16,816 --> 00:10:18,718 TO BE FAIR, HE ALSO SAID THE SAME EXACT THING WHEN 175 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:23,322 THEY MADE THE GREEN M&M LESS SEXY. 176 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:24,557 [LAUGHTER] MOVING ON. 177 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,726 ACCORDING TO REPORTS, PRESIDENT BIDEN IS CLOSE TO KICKING OFF 178 00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,828 HIS REELECTION CAMPAIGN, BECAUSE HE'S NOW PLANNING TO TRAVEL TO 179 00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:31,664 THE WEST COAST TO DO SOME FUNDRAISING EARLY NEXT WEEK. 180 00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:36,836 BIDEN IS EXCITED TO SEE HOW MUCH CALIFORNIA HAS CHANGED SINCE HIS 181 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:43,275 FIRST VISIT DURING THE GOLD RUSH OF 1848. 182 00:10:43,275 --> 00:10:48,014 AND WE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS. 183 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:52,118 SCIENTISTS MADE A HORMONE INJECTION ABOUT THE TIME THAT IT 184 00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:57,957 TAKES TO SOBER UP FROM A DRUNKEN STUPOR, IT CUTS THE TIME IN HA 185 00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,191 HALF. 186 00:10:59,191 --> 00:11:01,827 I DON'T LIKE THIS, I PREFER THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY, A KEBAB AT 187 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:05,297 3:00 A.M., THAT'LL DO IT. 188 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,198 OH, DON'T EVEN. 189 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:13,039 [APPLAUSE] I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK, I KNOW 190 00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:16,008 THAT YOU ARE FROM ENGLAND. 191 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:24,583 YOU HEAR THE WORD "3:00 A.M. AND KEBAB" AND YOU INSTINCTIVELY GO 192 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:27,119 "ENGLAND." 193 00:11:27,119 --> 00:11:30,489 I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE A GREAT IDEA UNTIL YOU REALIZE THE 194 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:33,893 ENTIRE THING IS BASED ON TRUSTING DRUNK PEOPLE WITH 195 00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:34,527 NEEDLES. 196 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:37,930 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 197 00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:41,233 "I GOT IT. 198 00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:50,876 I GOT IT." 199 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,044 OH, [BLEEP]. 200 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:55,681 AND HERE IS A STORY FOR YOU, A COUPLE HAS BEEN SENTENCED TO 201 00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:59,585 JAIL FOR STEALING $1.7 MILLION WORTH OF WINE FROM A MICHELIN 202 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:00,986 STARRED RESTAURANT IN SPAIN. 203 00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:02,688 THEY STOLE A KEY TO THE RESTAURANT'S WINE CELLAR WHILE 204 00:12:02,688 --> 00:12:07,059 STAYING IN THE ADJACENT HOTEL, THEY THEN FLED WITH 45 BOTTLES 205 00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:12,998 IN THEIR LUGGAGE. 206 00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:18,237 [LAUGHTER] THEY HAVE GONE TO JAIL. 207 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:24,210 BUT POLICE DESCRIBED THE THEFT AS BRAZEN... 208 00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:25,911 WITH OAK NOTES, A HINT OF CHERRY, AND A FRESH, JUICY 209 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:26,946 FINISH." 210 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,748 45 BOTTLES FOR $1.7 MILLION. 211 00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:33,953 CAN I BE HONEST, I'D BE MORE IMPRESSED IF 212 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:34,954 THEY'D STOLEN $1.7 MILLION WORTH OF 213 00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:35,754 TWO BUCK CHUCK FROM TRADER JOE'S. 214 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,857 NOW THAT WOULD TAKE REAL COMMITMENT. 215 00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:42,962 THEY TRIED TO STEAL 1.7 MILLION DOLLARS' WORTH OF RARE WINE. 216 00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:46,999 SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE GOT PINOT GREED-IO. 217 00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:47,967 HIT ME! 218 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:52,972 AND FINALLY, WE HAD TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS. 219 00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:54,640 THE CITY OF NEWARK, NEW JERSEY HAS JUST ADMITTED THAT THEY 220 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,475 ACCIDENTALLY ENTERED INTO A SISTER CITY AGREEMENT WITH A 221 00:12:56,475 --> 00:13:02,915 FAKE CITY. 222 00:13:02,915 --> 00:13:05,718 IT'S TRUE, THEY THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE ENTERING INTO A 223 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:08,621 CULTURAL AND TRADE DEAL WITH THE "UNITED STATES OF 224 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:09,989 KAILASA," AN EMERGING NATION IN INDIA. 225 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:13,392 HOWEVER, NO SUCH COUNTRY ACTUALLY EXISTS. 226 00:13:13,392 --> 00:13:17,029 THE FIRST SUSPICIOUS THING? 227 00:13:17,029 --> 00:13:21,734 THIS PLACE WANTED TO BE SISTER CITIES WITH NEWARK, NEW JERSEY. 228 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:25,771 [LAUGHTER] THE BIGGEST CITY IN NEW JERSEY 229 00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:26,539 GOT SCAMMED? 230 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:30,943 I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE. 231 00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:33,646 NEW JERSEY IS THE ONE THAT IS MEANT TO DO THE SCAMMING. 232 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,247 APPARENTLY, IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME NEWARK HAS GOTTEN CONFUSED. 233 00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,382 HERE THEY ARE ENTERING INTO A SISTER CITY AGREEMENT WITH 234 00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:39,185 PANDORA... 235 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:40,319 [LAUGHTER] THEN THERE WAS THIS TIME, WHEN 236 00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:41,921 NEWARK GOT MIXED UP AND SIGNED A TRADE AGREEMENT 237 00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,056 WITH LEGO LAND. 238 00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:45,257 EASY MISTAKE. 239 00:13:45,257 --> 00:13:52,965 AND, OF COURSE, WHO COULD FORGET THE TIME WHEN NEWARK THOUGHT 240 00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:53,966 THERE REALLY WAS A PLACE CALLED FLAVORED TOWN. 241 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,034 AND THAT'S "THE NEWS!" WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK. 242 00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:22,928 James: WELCOME BACK, LET'S MEET OUR GUEST TONIGHT! 243 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:28,500 HE STARS IN "PERRY MASON," PLEASE WELCOME HIM MATTHEW RHYS! 244 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:30,569 ♪ IT'S MY FAVORITE MATTHEW RHYS ♪ 245 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,510 James: THIS GUY. 246 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:43,949 SHE STARS IN "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY," LISA ANN WALTER! 247 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:49,221 ♪ IT IS LISA ANN WALTER ♪ ♪ ♪ 248 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:53,626 James: IT'S FANTASTIC TO SEE YOU. 249 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:58,197 HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE. 250 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,299 Lisa Ann: HI! 251 00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:01,467 HI! 252 00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,001 HEY! 253 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,235 James: HOW ARE YOU? 254 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,470 THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 255 00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:07,072 I'M SO THRILLED YOU COULD BOTH FIND THE TIME FOR US. 256 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:15,914 AND I WANT TO SAY THIS, MATTHEW, I AM LOVING THIS LITTLE 257 00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:16,548 MUSTACHE. 258 00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:19,652 IS IT FOR A ROLE I IMAGINE? 259 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:25,457 Matthew: YES, I WILL PLAY EN IN A BIOPI OF HIS LIFE. 260 00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:29,828 NO, SADLY, I LIVE IN BROOKLYN HAS ONE OF THE HIGHER 261 00:15:29,828 --> 00:15:31,830 CONCENTRATION OF SUCCESSFUL ACTORS HAVE STUMBLED ACROSS, 262 00:15:31,830 --> 00:15:34,700 HAVING NOT WORKED IN A VERY LONG TIME I AM SEEING A LOT OF THESE 263 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:39,571 DADS AT SCHOOL, AND I THOUGHT I WOULD GROW A MUSTACHE, SO THAT 264 00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:42,908 IF THEY SAW ME PASSING IN THE STREET THEY WOULD THINK I WAS 265 00:15:42,908 --> 00:15:45,911 WORKING, BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER REASON WHY YOU WOULD HAVE 266 00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:48,914 A BURT REYNOLDS, A TOM SELLECK. 267 00:15:48,914 --> 00:15:51,984 James: IT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA. 268 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:53,852 Matthew: IT WORKED THE OTHER DAY. 269 00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:54,853 YES, IS THIS SOMETHING? 270 00:15:54,853 --> 00:15:57,823 AND I SAID YES, YES, I DID NOT SAY WHAT. 271 00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,458 HE SAID IS IT FOR SOMETHING? 272 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,326 AND I SAID YES. 273 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,960 IT IS FOR SOMETHING. 274 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,897 Lisa Ann: IT IS LIKE '70s DIVORCED DAD DRIVING AND 275 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:05,698 EL CAMINO. 276 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:11,904 Matthew: WE CAN DO IT RIGHT HERE. 277 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,972 Lisa Ann: I'M THE FLOOZY THAT YOU SLEEP WITH ON THE 278 00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:14,606 BLOCK. 279 00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:17,242 I WANT TO GET IN ON IT. 280 00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:19,445 Matthew: IT IS WRITING ITSELF. 281 00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:24,149 James: WHO ARE THE ACTORS THAT LIVE IN THIS CONCENTRATION? 282 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,552 Matthew: I CANNOT POSSIBLY-- 283 00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:30,923 James: JOHN KRASINSKI, REESE. 284 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:36,195 Matthew: I LIKE TO INCLUDE MYSELF, PAUL BETHANY, PAUL RUDD, 285 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,831 CRAIG. 286 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:44,937 YES, SHOWBIZ TOWN. 287 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:47,506 James: J.J. REDDICK, THE BASKETBALL PLAYER. 288 00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:50,376 HE IS THERE. 289 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,945 Matthew: YES, THE THREE-POINTER. 290 00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:55,948 James: THIS IS MAKING US FEEL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. 291 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,783 I'M AT SHERMAN OAKS, NOBODY IS HANGING OUT THERE. 292 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:00,919 IT'S ME AND A BUNCH OF MY CHILDREN. 293 00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:02,321 James: I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 294 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:05,023 I AM THRILLED THAT YOU ARE HERE, LISA. 295 00:17:05,023 --> 00:17:08,894 YOU HAVE BEEN DOING STAND UP SINCE HE '80s. 296 00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,496 Lisa Ann: I WAS TEN. 297 00:17:10,496 --> 00:17:13,232 James: YOU DO IT BRILLIANTLY! 298 00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:14,400 Lisa Ann: THANK YOU. 299 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,937 James: I AM INTERESTED TO KNOW, WHAT WAS IT LIKE BEING A 300 00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:22,841 FEMALE COMEDIAN AT THAT TIME IN CLUBS AND WORKING AND ALL OF 301 00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:25,511 THOSE THINGS WHEN YOU BROKE THROUGH? 302 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:27,780 Lisa Ann: JAMES, IT WAS DELIGHTFUL. 303 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,515 EVERY MOMENT WAS GLORIOUS. 304 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:32,384 THERE WAS A LOT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT, THAT'S WHAT I 305 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,420 REMEMBER. 306 00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:37,589 THERE WAS MAYBE IN THE COUNTRY, 25 OF US. 307 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:40,726 EVEN NOW IT'S A STRUGGLE FOR WOMEN COMPARED TO MEN, BUT BACK 308 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,694 THEN THERE WAS NOT A WHOLE LOT. 309 00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:45,964 AND BARELY ANYBODY WAS A MOM AND MARRIED LIKE I WAS. 310 00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:47,232 SO IT WAS WEIRD. 311 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:50,135 HE WOULD GO TO THE CLUB, I WOULD DO MY SHOW AND AT THE END OF THE 312 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:54,072 NIGHT TO GET THE CASH TO PAY YOU, BECAUSE LITTLE KNOWN FACT, 313 00:17:54,072 --> 00:18:00,112 EVERY COMEDY CLUB WAS LIKE A MOB LAUNDERING OPERATION, FYI. 314 00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:03,415 THEY HUNG THE MEAT AND THEIR VICTIMS IN THE WALK-IN IN THE 315 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:04,416 BACK. 316 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:07,252 James: AND JUST A ROGUE MICROPHONE ON A STAND. 317 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:10,656 Lisa Ann: I WILL ROLL IT IN THE BRICK WALL FOR YOU. 318 00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:14,593 AND THEY GO TO PAY YOU, AND HERE'S SOME MONEY IN FRONT OF ME 319 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:17,596 IN THE CLOAKROOM, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN THERE WILL BE ONE HAND UP 320 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:21,533 MY DRESS, ANOTHER DOWN MY SHIRT, AND I'M LIKE WHERE DID THE MONEY 321 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:22,234 GO? 322 00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:24,970 I AM PRETTY SURE NOT KEEPING IT. 323 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,572 James: OH, MAN. 324 00:18:26,572 --> 00:18:29,308 MATTHEW, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS. 325 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,943 LAST WEEK WAS SAINT DAVID'S DAY. 326 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:37,282 A BIG DAY AS A WELSHMAN, EXPLAINED TO WHAT I LIKE TO 327 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:41,887 CALL, OUR AMERICAN AUDIENCE, WHAT IS SAINT DAVID'S DAY ABOUT? 328 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:45,858 Matthew: ST. DAVID IS THE PATRON SAINT OF WALES, AND I WAS 329 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:49,328 EXPLAINING TO SOME MEDICAL FRIENDS OF MINE, I WAS LIKE IT'S 330 00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:52,731 WALES ST. PADDY'S DAY, IT'S BASICALLY THAT. 331 00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:55,868 IT'S WHEN WE BECOME VERY TRADITIONAL AND VERY PATRIOTIC, 332 00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:58,270 AND WE DRINK TOO MUCH. 333 00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:01,440 AND MAYBE-- MAYBE THE SLIGHT DIFFERENCE IS THE WELSH WOULD 334 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,677 SING MORE POSSIBLY THAN THE IRISH IN A CLOSE BAR HARMONY. 335 00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:07,513 BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT. 336 00:19:07,513 --> 00:19:11,083 James: AND MORE OF AN INFLUENCE OF A DAFFODIL. 337 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:14,319 Matthew: WE ARE PRONE TO WEAR A DAFFODIL OR A LEAK. 338 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,587 Lisa Ann: LIKE THE VEGETABLE? 339 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,222 YOU WEAR IT LIKE A CORSAGE? 340 00:19:17,222 --> 00:19:21,093 Matthew: YOU DO. 341 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:25,531 THE COUNTRYIN THE YEARS GONE BY DID NOT HAVE MUCH BY WAY OF-- 342 00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,165 Lisa Ann: FRESH FLOWERS. 343 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,268 Matthew: SO RUDE TO VEGETABLES. 344 00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:33,171 IT'S HOT CURRENCY. 345 00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:36,108 James: SO HAPPY SAINT DAVID'S DAY. 346 00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:41,146 AND TO EVERY WELSH PERSON WATCHING, WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE YO 347 00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:45,517 YOU. 348 00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:49,488 NOW, LISA, AS YOU JUST MENTION, YOU'RE A SINGLE MOM WITH FOUR 349 00:19:49,488 --> 00:19:50,689 KIDS. 350 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:54,059 Lisa Ann: WHICH IS WHY I WANT YOU TO GO BACK TO SPEAKING 351 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,327 IN THOSE GREAT ACCENTS ACROSS FROM ME. 352 00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:59,865 James: TALK TO ME ABOUT LIFE IN THE WALTER HOUSEHOLD, 353 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:00,732 WHAT AGES ARE THEY? 354 00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:03,969 Lisa Ann: FOUR KIDS THAT I KNOW OF. 355 00:20:03,969 --> 00:20:04,803 James: YES. 356 00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:09,508 Lisa Ann: MY VAGINA IS A CLOWN CAR. 357 00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:10,108 THEY JUST COME OUT. 358 00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:13,712 IT'S THE BIG SHOES. 359 00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,881 WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? 360 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:19,718 SO IT IS DELIGHTFUL, BUT THE TWO OLDER ONES. 361 00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,988 I MADE BABIES ALMOST IMMEDIATELY WHEN I WENT TO NEW YORK TO BE AN 362 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:23,655 ACTOR. 363 00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:25,123 AND INSTEAD I GOT KNOCKED OUT. 364 00:20:25,123 --> 00:20:27,492 THAT'S WHEN I STARTED DOING STAND UP. 365 00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:28,727 SO I HAD THE TWO OLDER ONES. 366 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:29,895 THEY ARE DOING GREAT. 367 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:33,332 MY DAUGHTER IS GETTING HER PhD IN NEW YORK. 368 00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:34,266 YES, I AM BRAGGING. 369 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:35,467 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THANK YOU. 370 00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:36,168 SHE TURNED OUT OKAY. 371 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:38,203 AND THEN I HAVE THE KIDS. 372 00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:42,140 I HAVE TWIN TEENAGE BOYS, WARILY BORN ON THE SAME DAY AS THE 373 00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:45,644 TWINS IN "THE PARENT TRAP." 374 00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:47,312 IDENTICAL TWIN BOYS. 375 00:20:47,312 --> 00:20:50,649 SO NANCY MYERS PUT A SPELL ON ME. 376 00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:55,754 AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU, IF YOU KNOW YOUNG PEOPLE, IT IS WHY I 377 00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:56,955 COME HERE. 378 00:20:56,955 --> 00:21:00,559 BECAUSE IT IS JUST NICE TO BE IN FRONT OF PEOPLE WHO LIKE ME. 379 00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:02,294 THEY ARE HORRIFYING. 380 00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:05,097 AND THEY DON'T SPEAK-- THANK YOU! 381 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:09,868 TELL MY KIDS, BECAUSE THEY DON'T TALK TO ME. 382 00:21:09,868 --> 00:21:12,070 Matthew: HAVE THEY SEEN YOU DO STAND UP? 383 00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:15,641 Lisa Ann: THEY HAVE, AND THEN UNASHAMEDLY RAN AWAY. 384 00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:18,510 Matthew: THE TWINS HAVE SEEN YO DO STAND UP? 385 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:22,147 Lisa Ann: ONE OF THEM SAW A BIT I DID, AND I THINK HE WAS 386 00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:23,148 ACTUALLY QUITE PROUD. 387 00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:25,517 BUT I WAS LIKE YOU KNOW I AM TOTALLY BUSTING YOU. 388 00:21:25,517 --> 00:21:29,121 YOU DON'T TALK TO ME, WHENEVER YOU DO, IT'S TO CRITICIZE 389 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,389 SOMETHING ABOUT ME. 390 00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:35,694 IT'S LIKE I GET A LECTURE ON THE GIG ECONOMY, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO 391 00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:37,429 RETURN ANY FOOD AT A RESTAURANT. 392 00:21:37,429 --> 00:21:38,530 I AM A CARING ALL OF A SUDDEN. 393 00:21:38,530 --> 00:21:41,533 BUT THEY KEEP COMING HOME, BECAUSE I HAVE FREE FOOD AND 394 00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:42,100 WI-FI. 395 00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,469 SO THEY KEEP SHOWING UP. 396 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,072 BUT TODAY BRING THEIR GAIN OF STONER FRIENDS WITH THEM, WHICH 397 00:21:47,072 --> 00:21:51,043 I WOULD NOT MIND, BUT HOW ABOUT A FIVE MINUTE HEADS UP SO MOMMY 398 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:55,480 HAS TIME TO PUT ON A BRA. 399 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:56,948 YOU KNOW, THE LITTLE THINGS. 400 00:21:56,948 --> 00:22:02,954 BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED THESE IDIOTS POPPING A LITTLE TENT IN 401 00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:08,060 THEIR PANTS TO THE NANNY FROM "TO THE PARENT TRAP" AND WE ARE 402 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,194 ALL CONFUSED. 403 00:22:09,194 --> 00:22:12,998 James: I CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD LIKE TO GO 404 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,000 AND WATCH MY MOTHER DO STAND UP COMEDY. 405 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,070 MY MOM BEING LIKE, ALL RIGHT, HOW ARE WE DOING? 406 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:20,872 ALL GOOD. 407 00:22:20,872 --> 00:22:23,709 LET'S LOOK AT A LITTLE SOMET SOMETHING. 408 00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:26,111 I MEAN WHAT IS HAPPENING? 409 00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:28,413 Lisa Ann: THE BEFORE AND AFTER WITH THE DOWNSTAIRS WITH 410 00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:30,582 THESE LOTS. 411 00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:37,589 James: CAN WE TALK ABOUT "PERRY MASON," WHICH HUGE SMASH! 412 00:22:37,589 --> 00:22:39,024 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Lisa Ann: IT IS! 413 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:42,194 James: WHERE DO WE FIND THE SHOW IN SEASON 2. 414 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:46,865 Matthew: ON HBO MAX, MONDAY NIGHTS AT 8:30. 415 00:22:46,865 --> 00:22:51,737 WE LEFT HIM IN SEASON ONE, HE HAD BECOME A LAWYER, AND WE 416 00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:55,607 THINK WE ARE GOING TO DIE BACK IN AND FIND HIM WINNING CASES, 417 00:22:55,607 --> 00:23:00,545 BUT NO, HAVING A SMALL CRISIS OF FAITH IN HIS CAREER AND NOT ALL 418 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:03,949 IN THE GARDEN IS ROSY AFTER ALL. 419 00:23:03,949 --> 00:23:10,655 James: YOU RIDE HORSES IN THE SHOW, AND IS THIS TRUE THAT 420 00:23:10,655 --> 00:23:13,558 YOU VISITED A HORSE PSYCHIC? 421 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,760 FOR YOUR HORSE? 422 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,897 NOW KNOWING YOU AS I DO, YOU DON'T STRIKE ME AS SOMEONE THAT 423 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:23,835 GOES, I THINK I NEED TO SEE A HORSE. 424 00:23:23,835 --> 00:23:25,804 GET ME A HORSE PSYCHIC NOW! 425 00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:28,440 Matthew: BECAUSE ANYWHERE YOU COULD, IT WOULD BE 426 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,674 HOLLYWOOD. 427 00:23:29,674 --> 00:23:32,711 BUT THE REAL STORY IS I USED TO OWN HORSES HERE IN L.A. AND TO 428 00:23:32,711 --> 00:23:36,915 KEEP THEM IN GRIFFIN PARK, HOLLYWOOD HILLS, AND A FRIEND OF 429 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:40,685 MINE WAS A PROFESSIONAL RODEO COWBOY, AND HE SAID I USE THIS 430 00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:44,289 HORSE, NOW I THOUGHT IF A PROFESSIONAL RODEO COWBOY IS 431 00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:49,127 TELLING ME THAT THE HORSE PSYCHIC WORKS, AND HE WOULD NOT 432 00:23:49,127 --> 00:23:51,830 BELIEVE, I WILL BELIEVE FAR MORE THAN HE. 433 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:54,099 James: IT'S NOT LIKE MANY RODEO GUYS ARE LIKE LET'S SEE 434 00:23:54,099 --> 00:23:56,668 WHAT THE TAROT CARDS SAY. 435 00:23:56,668 --> 00:23:59,171 Lisa Ann: I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT. 436 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:03,175 Matthew: BECAUSE THEY DO IT OVER ZUMA AND WITHIN SECONDS SHE 437 00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:09,080 TOLD ME, THE HORSE TOLD HER NOT ONLY WHAT I WEAR-- 438 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,683 James: HANG ON, THE HORSE IS ON ZOOM. 439 00:24:11,683 --> 00:24:18,690 YOU HAVE OPENED UP THE LAPTOP-- Matthew: THAT IS EXACTLY 440 00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:19,691 WHAT HE SAYS. 441 00:24:19,691 --> 00:24:22,527 James: THAT IS THE FILTER! 442 00:24:22,527 --> 00:24:23,028 OKAY. 443 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:26,898 GO ON. 444 00:24:26,898 --> 00:24:29,935 Matthew: SO I THINK SHE WAS PROVING TO ME IMMEDIATELY THAT 445 00:24:29,935 --> 00:24:32,904 SHE WAS NT SOME KIND OF GREAT FAKE AND THIS WAS LEGIT. 446 00:24:32,904 --> 00:24:36,308 AND SHE SAID YOU OFTEN WEAR THESE TYPE OF CLOTHES WHEN YOU 447 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:39,845 WEAR AND THIS HAD, AND YOUR HORSE IS TRAUMATIZED BY SOMEONE 448 00:24:39,845 --> 00:24:42,781 WHO WORE THOSE SUMMER CLOTHES IN THE PAST, AND THAT'S WHY HE WILL 449 00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:44,482 BACK AWAY FROM YOU. 450 00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:47,986 AND ALL OF THESE OTHER FACTS STARTED POURING OUT, AND FROM 451 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:51,356 THAT DAY FORWARD, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HORSE WAS 452 00:24:51,356 --> 00:24:52,490 INCREDIBLE. 453 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,826 James: SO YOU CHANGED YOUR CLOTHES, AND THE HORSE-- 454 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:58,930 Matthew: I CAME BACK IN A TUXEDO. 455 00:24:58,930 --> 00:24:59,631 WELCOME, LET'S GO! 456 00:24:59,631 --> 00:25:02,100 AND OFF WE RODE INTO THE SUNSET. 457 00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:06,071 Lisa Ann: DOES SHE DO DATING IN LOS ANGELES? 458 00:25:06,071 --> 00:25:07,672 James: ARE YOU INTERESTED IN DATING A HORSE? 459 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:11,877 THAT IS THE PROBLEM. 460 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:12,611 Lisa Ann: CATHERINE THE GREAT. 461 00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:13,945 IT'S FINE. 462 00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:16,915 James: CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING, MATTHEW RHYS, THIS IS 463 00:25:16,915 --> 00:25:19,084 ONLY COME TO MY MIND NOW. 464 00:25:19,084 --> 00:25:21,720 THE FIRST TIME I EVER CAME TO LOS ANGELES, WE HAD WORKED 465 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,590 TOGETHER YEARS AGO AND WE VAGUELY KNEW EACH OTHER AND WERE 466 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:27,893 AT A BARBECUE, LOTS OF BRITISH PEOPLE THAT DON'T KNOW ANYBODY 467 00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:31,830 ELSE JUST TURN UP WITH LIKE A STEAK AND A SIX PACK AND GO, 468 00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:32,297 HELLO, BRITISH PERSON. 469 00:25:32,297 --> 00:25:34,466 HOW ARE YOU? 470 00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:40,705 AND IT DID NOT HAVE A CAR, THIS WAS PREUBER, AND HE SAID, I WILL 471 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:44,542 DRIVE YOU BACK TO YOUR HOTEL, AND WE GOT LOST FOR LIKE HALF AN 472 00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:45,710 HOUR. 473 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:49,714 YOU WERE IN A PREVIOUS, AND I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY TIME I 474 00:25:49,714 --> 00:25:50,916 DRIVE DOWN THAT ROAD. 475 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:52,050 Matthew: GOD BLESS YOU. 476 00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:55,620 James: AND I THINK ABOUT HOW KIND YOU WERE TO ME ALL 477 00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:56,621 THOSE YEARS AGO. 478 00:25:56,621 --> 00:25:58,790 YOU ARE THE LOVELIEST MAN. 479 00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:03,128 Matthew: OUT IS NOT LOST, I WAS JUST ENJOYING OUR CHAT. 480 00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:06,031 James: YOU JUST WERE LIKE MAYBE WE CAN SING A SONG. 481 00:26:06,031 --> 00:26:08,266 THIS IS AN IDEA. 482 00:26:08,266 --> 00:26:13,071 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE CLIP FROM "PERRY MASON" THAT ERRORS 483 00:26:13,071 --> 00:26:16,942 MONDAYS AT 9:00 ON HBO AND HBO MAX. 484 00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:18,977 AFTER TALKING WITH THE BROTHERS. 485 00:26:18,977 --> 00:26:20,445 IT'S BECAUSE YOU WENT TO SEE THEM. 486 00:26:20,445 --> 00:26:23,481 AND WHERE THEY ARE BEING HELD. 487 00:26:23,481 --> 00:26:25,517 AND I'M SURE THAT THEY INVITED YOU RIGHT IN WRITE IN. 488 00:26:25,517 --> 00:26:28,019 I DON'T THINK THEY DID IT. 489 00:26:28,019 --> 00:26:33,391 MILLIGAN'S CASE HAS HOLES AND I HAVE EVIDENCE THAT WE CAN 490 00:26:33,391 --> 00:26:34,626 SUGGEST AGAINST THEM. 491 00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:38,063 IF YOU ARE HOPING TO SECURE A PLEA DEAL FOR THEM, I ALREADY 492 00:26:38,063 --> 00:26:39,698 TRIED, BURGER SHOT ME DOWN. 493 00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:41,666 YOU'RE NOT THERE LAWYER. 494 00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:49,374 AND YOU ARE? 495 00:26:49,374 --> 00:26:50,442 James: STICK AROUND, MORE WITH THESE TWO WHEN WE COME 496 00:26:57,782 --> 00:26:58,950 ♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT ♪ ♪ YOU BETTER NOT CRY ♪ 497 00:26:58,950 --> 00:27:06,891 ♪ YOU BETTER BE READY TO SAY THAT YOU AIN'T, NOW I I GOT YOA 498 00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:10,428 PRESENT-- IT'S YOUR COURTSIDE SEATS TO THE 499 00:27:10,428 --> 00:27:11,363 76ers. 500 00:27:11,363 --> 00:27:17,902 IT'S A TEACHER APPRECIATION WEEK MIRACLE. 501 00:27:17,902 --> 00:27:21,673 THANK YOU, YOU CAME THROUGH AGAIN! 502 00:27:21,673 --> 00:27:27,012 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] James: THAT WAS A CLIP FROM 503 00:27:27,012 --> 00:27:29,914 "ABBOTT ELEMENTARY"! 504 00:27:29,914 --> 00:27:33,852 IT AIRS WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 9:00 ON ABC. 505 00:27:33,852 --> 00:27:34,586 CONGRATS ON THE SHOW. 506 00:27:34,586 --> 00:27:37,789 IT IS AN ABSOLUTE TRIUMPH! 507 00:27:37,789 --> 00:27:42,694 ONE OF THE FUNNIEST PARTS IN THE ENTIRE SHOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP 508 00:27:42,694 --> 00:27:45,830 WITH SHERYL LEE RALPH WHO WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE HERE ON THE 509 00:27:45,830 --> 00:27:48,500 SHOW, AND YOU ARE FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE. 510 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:52,103 Lisa Ann: WE ARE WORK FRIENDS ON THE SHOW, AND IN LIFE 511 00:27:52,103 --> 00:27:53,405 WE ARE RUNNING BUDDIES. 512 00:27:53,405 --> 00:28:02,280 AND I CAN THINK OF NOTHING BETTER THAN HANGING WITH YOU AND 513 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:06,551 AND, HOW DO WE GET INVITED, AND WHAT WE DO? 514 00:28:06,551 --> 00:28:09,554 Lisa Ann: GUARANTEED IT WOULD INVOLVE SHOPPING, AND WE 515 00:28:09,554 --> 00:28:13,358 SHOP LIKE SINGLE MOTHERS WHO LIVE IN LOS ANGELES WHO MAKE A 516 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:14,893 DOLLAR STRETCH FOR A LOT OF YEARS. 517 00:28:14,893 --> 00:28:17,796 HONEST TO GOD, YOU THINK ABOUT SHOPPING AND WE ARE ON A HIT TV 518 00:28:17,796 --> 00:28:23,334 SHOW, WE ARE GOING TO A RODEO DRIVE AND WE ARE GETTING THIS, 519 00:28:23,334 --> 00:28:28,840 THAT, NO, WE ARE LOOKING ONLINE TO BUY VERSE ASHI FOR CUT RATE 520 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,075 PRICES. 521 00:28:30,075 --> 00:28:34,712 WE GO TO A MALL LIKE THE OUTLET MALLS, AND WE START AT ONE END 522 00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:38,249 AND RUN IN AND OUT, AND BOTH OF US GO TO THE BACK WHERE THE 523 00:28:38,249 --> 00:28:41,519 CLEARANCE RACK IS AND IF IT COMES OUT, AND LIKE NO, THAT'S 524 00:28:41,519 --> 00:28:44,355 NOT 75% OFF, IT GOES BACK ON THE RACK. 525 00:28:44,355 --> 00:28:47,992 WE GET A BARGAIN AND IT GIVES US A THRILL. 526 00:28:47,992 --> 00:28:51,663 James: AS IT SHOULD. 527 00:28:51,663 --> 00:28:56,367 AND ONE THING, YOU ABSOLUTELY NAILED THE PHILLY ACCENT ON THE 528 00:28:56,367 --> 00:28:57,235 SHOW. 529 00:28:57,235 --> 00:28:59,804 WHAT IS THE TRICK TO THE PHILLY ACCENT. 530 00:28:59,804 --> 00:29:03,541 IS IT HALF AND THE VOICE AND HALF WITH THE HANDS? 531 00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:05,610 Lisa Ann: IT'S BRINGING ALL OF THE WORDS TO THE FRONT OF 532 00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:07,879 YOUR MOUTH. 533 00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:12,951 SO DO A LITTLE BIT AT THIS. 534 00:29:12,951 --> 00:29:16,754 BRING IT TO THE FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH. 535 00:29:16,754 --> 00:29:20,825 SO FIRST OF ALL, DON'T ENUNCIATE ANYTHING. 536 00:29:20,825 --> 00:29:31,102 SO IT'S LIKE BRITISH, YOU DON'T SAY O, YOU SAY EH. 537 00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:35,173 - James: ♪ ALL THE SMART 538 00:29:35,173 --> 00:29:39,711 THINGS ♪ Lisa Ann: WANT TO FIND OUT, 539 00:29:39,711 --> 00:29:46,851 YOU CAME TO MY HOUSE AND I HAVE TO FEED YOU, BECAUSE I AM 540 00:29:46,851 --> 00:29:49,787 ITALIAN, YEAH-- Matthew: DID I EAT? 541 00:29:49,787 --> 00:29:50,688 NO. 542 00:29:50,688 --> 00:29:59,364 Lisa Ann: NO, I HAD A-- WATER ICE. 543 00:29:59,364 --> 00:30:05,637 YET, BECAUSE I HAD A WATER ICE. 544 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,840 - Matthew: I HAD A WATER ICE. 545 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:13,945 Lisa Ann: I HAD A SLICE ON THE PLANE AND A WATER ICE. 546 00:30:13,945 --> 00:30:17,148 Matthew: I'M WORRIED THAT I CAN ONLY DO A CHARACTER LIKE 547 00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:19,083 THIS. 548 00:30:19,083 --> 00:30:24,756 BECAUSE I CAN IMAGINE DOING THIS ACCENT AND BEING LIKE-- 549 00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:29,127 IT'S FINE IF I GOT A WATER ICE AND A PIZZA. 550 00:30:29,127 --> 00:30:35,433 Matthew: I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT THE SHOW ENDING. 551 00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:36,834 THIS IS THE EAGLE CALL. 552 00:30:36,834 --> 00:30:39,871 James: I NEED A WATER ICE AND A SLICE. 553 00:30:39,871 --> 00:30:41,973 THAT'S IT. 554 00:30:41,973 --> 00:30:47,478 WELL, IF WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT SIDE HUSTLES, LET'S TALK, 555 00:30:47,478 --> 00:30:50,915 MATTHEW, LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU TALKED ABOUT THE FACT 556 00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:53,451 THAT YOU HAD FINISHED RESTORING YOUR WOODEN BOAT IN NEW YORK 557 00:30:53,451 --> 00:30:57,822 HARBOR, WE HAVE A PICTURE OF IT HERE. 558 00:30:57,822 --> 00:30:59,857 LOOK AT THIS BEAST OUT ON THE CDs! 559 00:30:59,857 --> 00:31:00,391 HOW'S IT GOING? 560 00:31:00,391 --> 00:31:04,028 IS IT STILL SEAWORTHY? 561 00:31:04,028 --> 00:31:08,166 Matthew: IT WAS AN ACT OF MADNESS, BUT SHE IS AN ACTIVE 562 00:31:08,166 --> 00:31:13,137 CHARTER BOATS, AND I DO HAVE THIS INCREDIBLE CAPTAIN WHO RUNS 563 00:31:13,137 --> 00:31:19,177 IT, BUT SHE TAKES IT OUT, AND I EXPECT HER TO CALL AND SAY "WE 564 00:31:19,177 --> 00:31:25,950 ARE GOING DOWN, IT'S WHAT YOU DID!" 565 00:31:25,950 --> 00:31:27,986 BUT IT IS STILL RUNNING AND OPERATIONAL. 566 00:31:27,986 --> 00:31:29,020 STILL RUNNING. 567 00:31:29,020 --> 00:31:31,756 James: DO YOU EVER TAKE IT OUT ON THE WEEKEND? 568 00:31:31,756 --> 00:31:35,727 Matthew: NO, I HAD THEM INTO GLASSES, AND THE KIDS WOULD 569 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:39,664 LOVE IT AND WE WOULD SPEND TIME ON THE WATER. 570 00:31:39,664 --> 00:31:44,135 THEY ARE LIKE, ARE WE GOING TO SEE THAT WOMAN AGAIN? 571 00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:47,405 IF BY THAT WOMAN, DO YOU MEAN THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? 572 00:31:47,405 --> 00:31:50,975 YES, WE CAN COME AND NO I DON'T HAVE WI-FI FOR YOU YET. 573 00:31:50,975 --> 00:31:53,978 SO IT DID NOT QUITE WORK OUT. 574 00:31:53,978 --> 00:31:57,148 Lisa Ann: MAYBE YOU NEED A BOAT PSYCHIC. 575 00:31:57,148 --> 00:32:00,285 Matthew: OH, THAT'S GOOD. 576 00:32:00,285 --> 00:32:01,352 James: WE WILL BE BACK AFTER THE BREAK! 577 00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:18,102 James: WELCOME BACK. 578 00:32:18,102 --> 00:32:23,541 REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUESTS THIS EVENING? 579 00:32:23,541 --> 00:32:25,176 Reggie: YES, I DO, JAMES. 580 00:32:25,176 --> 00:32:27,612 TONIGHT'S QUESTION GOES LIKE THIS... 581 00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:32,950 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLACE WHERE YOU ARE LIKE WHAT, WHY? 582 00:32:32,950 --> 00:32:38,990 WHAT DOES IT DO WHEN THAT HAPPENS? 583 00:32:38,990 --> 00:32:45,563 Lisa Ann: DO ONE OF YOU BRITS WANT TO ANSWER THAT. 584 00:32:45,563 --> 00:32:50,134 James: HE IS LIKE HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A PLACE WHERE YOU 585 00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:51,803 ARE LIKE WHAT WYATT? 586 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:53,638 AND WHAT DID YOU DO? 587 00:32:53,638 --> 00:32:57,775 Lisa Ann: SO AT LEAST ONE OF MY MARRIAGE IS-- 588 00:32:57,775 --> 00:33:02,080 [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 589 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:07,952 TWO EX-HUSBANDS AND YES, ONE WAS A LOVELY JEWISH MAN, AND TURNED 590 00:33:07,952 --> 00:33:10,855 OUT TO ALSO LIKE MEN, BECAUSE THAT HAPPENS, AND THE SECOND ONE 591 00:33:10,855 --> 00:33:14,926 WAS A CHEATER WHICH IS NOT TECHNICALLY A RELIGION, BUT HE 592 00:33:14,926 --> 00:33:16,494 PRACTICED LIKE IT WAS. 593 00:33:16,494 --> 00:33:18,963 HIT ME. 594 00:33:18,963 --> 00:33:21,933 James: IS THAT CORRECT? 595 00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:26,904 Reggie: WELL, JAMES, I AM AFRAID THEY ARE ALL CORRECT! 596 00:33:26,904 --> 00:33:33,511 James: THANK YOU TO LISA ANN WALTER AND MATTHE 597 00:33:33,511 --> 00:33:34,579 MATTHEW RHYS! 598 00:33:49,026 --> 00:33:52,530 James: WELCOME BACK, OUR NEXT GUEST IS A BRILLIANT 599 00:33:52,530 --> 00:33:57,969 STAND-UP COMEDIAN, SO PROUD HE& IS MAKING HIS DEBUT HERE ON "THE 600 00:33:57,969 --> 00:34:01,906 LATE LATE SHOW," HIS NEW ALBUM IS CALLED "DEEP HEALING," AND 601 00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:08,045 PLEASE WELCOME THE ABSOLUTELY OUTSTANDING GREG BARRIS! 602 00:34:08,045 --> 00:34:10,448 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Greg: YES, YES! 603 00:34:10,448 --> 00:34:13,451 THANK YOU FOR THAT, THANKS FOR BEING HERE, THANK YOU FOR HAVING 604 00:34:13,451 --> 00:34:17,722 ME, THANK YOU FOR COMING TO THE SHOW, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 605 00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:18,890 HAVING ME! 606 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:20,291 ONE ER TWO MORE IS OKAY. 607 00:34:20,291 --> 00:34:23,594 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. 608 00:34:23,594 --> 00:34:28,833 THANK YOU FOR YOUR HEALING ENERGY! 609 00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:30,101 OH, WOW. 610 00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:33,871 I AM THE KIND OF GUY WHO IS NOT SO GREAT WITH RED FLAGS, LIKE I 611 00:34:33,871 --> 00:34:38,109 SEE A RED FLAG, I BECOME LIKE AN OLYMPIC DOWNHILL SKIER. 612 00:34:38,109 --> 00:34:43,448 I'M LIKE "YEAH [LAUGHS] " 613 00:34:43,448 --> 00:34:46,717 I LOVE RED FLAG, THE FIRST RED FLAG COULD BE A PERSON'S 614 00:34:46,717 --> 00:34:52,990 NAME, I ALWAYS STAYED PEOPLE WITH RIDICULOUS NAMES, LIKE 615 00:34:52,990 --> 00:35:01,899 PULAT, WHO HAS DATED PULAT? 616 00:35:01,899 --> 00:35:10,241 I HAVE DATED AND SHOT, I ASHI. 617 00:35:10,241 --> 00:35:12,243 MY NAME IS GREGORY, I SHOULD BE WITH PAM. 618 00:35:12,243 --> 00:35:16,414 PAM COMES UP TO YOU AND SAYS "I MAKE TACOS. 619 00:35:16,414 --> 00:35:18,649 IT'S TACO TUESDAY." 620 00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:23,721 BUT A PULAT IS LIKE "I AM AT THE WRONG AIRPORT, MY SHE WAS OPEN, 621 00:35:23,721 --> 00:35:27,959 I DON'T HAVE MY WALLET, WHERE ARE YOU." 622 00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:32,964 AND YOU ARE SO WRAPPED UP IN THAT PULAT LIFE, SO YOU'RE LIKE 623 00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:34,832 "I AM SORRY, PULAT. 624 00:35:34,832 --> 00:35:35,933 I'M SORRY, I LOVE YOU. 625 00:35:35,933 --> 00:35:37,935 MY LIFE IS YOUR LIFE. 626 00:35:37,935 --> 00:35:41,172 SOMETIMES I THINK I AM YOU, PULAT. 627 00:35:41,172 --> 00:35:41,973 HELLO." 628 00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:44,308 BUT A PAM IS LIKE, "I DID THE TAXES. 629 00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:45,510 THEY ARE DONE." 630 00:35:45,510 --> 00:35:49,180 SO THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, WHEN I WAS FIVE, MY PARENTS 631 00:35:49,180 --> 00:35:53,985 MOVED US INTO A NEW HOUSE, AND BEFORE WE MOVED IN, THEY TOLD US 632 00:35:53,985 --> 00:35:57,288 THERE WAS A MURDER SUICIDE BEFORE WE MOVED IN, THAT ROOM IS 633 00:35:57,288 --> 00:35:59,824 HAUNTED, AND WHEN WE WERE IN REAL BIG TROUBLE, THEY WOULD 634 00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:03,995 LOCK US IN THE ROOM OVERNIGHT. 635 00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:04,862 WHO ELSE? 636 00:36:04,862 --> 00:36:08,599 WHO ELSE GOT GHOST-ROOM? 637 00:36:08,599 --> 00:36:12,737 I WENT TO SCHOOL AND A SCHOLARSHIP, GHOST ROOM YOUR 638 00:36:12,737 --> 00:36:13,638 KIDS. 639 00:36:13,638 --> 00:36:17,341 [LAUGHTER] MY PARENTS, I LOVE THEM. 640 00:36:17,341 --> 00:36:20,444 THEY ARE GREAT PEOPLE, AND THEY DID A GREAT JOB RAISING ME, AND 641 00:36:20,444 --> 00:36:28,920 I KNOW I SOUND SARCASTIC, BUT I'M NOT. 642 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:30,621 [LAUGHTER] MY PARENTS, THEY LIVE IN 643 00:36:30,621 --> 00:36:32,123 FLORIDA. 644 00:36:32,123 --> 00:36:32,990 THANK YOU. 645 00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:36,561 [APPLAUSE] AND THEY ARE BOTH RETIRED, AND 646 00:36:36,561 --> 00:36:39,230 THEY ARE MUCH MORE BORED THAN THEY THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE AT 647 00:36:39,230 --> 00:36:46,938 THIS JUNCTURE IN THEIR LIFE, AND NOW MY PARENTS HAVE BECOME UBER 648 00:36:46,938 --> 00:36:48,005 DRIVERS. 649 00:36:48,005 --> 00:36:52,577 MY PARENTS ARE UBER DRIVERS, AND THEY DO IT TOGETHER. 650 00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:57,148 MY MOM DRIVES WHILE MY DAD JUST RIDES ALONG. 651 00:36:57,148 --> 00:37:00,484 [LAUGHTER] MY DAD IS 82 YEARS OLD. 652 00:37:00,484 --> 00:37:06,157 HE PICKS YOU UP A SLEEP, AND HE DROPS YOU OFF ASLEEP. 653 00:37:06,157 --> 00:37:07,291 [LAUGHTER] THERE IS ZERO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 654 00:37:07,291 --> 00:37:13,497 A SLEEPING 82-YEAR-OLD MAN AND AN OLD DEAD MAN. 655 00:37:13,497 --> 00:37:15,700 [LAUGHTER] YOU MIGHT WAKE UP FOR A SECOND 656 00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:19,136 TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE LIFE ADVICE. 657 00:37:19,136 --> 00:37:25,943 LIKE "SOMETIMES YOU ARE DYING FASTER THAN YOU ARE LIVING. 658 00:37:25,943 --> 00:37:30,548 THIS IS REALLY FUN IF YOU JUST TELL ME, I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A 659 00:37:30,548 --> 00:37:31,682 QUESTION. 660 00:37:31,682 --> 00:37:34,051 WHAT ARE SOME KINKS EVERYBODY HAS? 661 00:37:34,051 --> 00:37:35,019 ALL RIGHT, I WILL START. 662 00:37:35,019 --> 00:37:36,554 I WILL START. 663 00:37:36,554 --> 00:37:37,688 THIS IS TRUE. 664 00:37:37,688 --> 00:37:42,927 BUT FIRST LET ME SAY THAT I AM AN EXTREMELY POOR PERSON 665 00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,897 [LAUGHS] SO IF THAT IS YOUR, YOU LET ME 666 00:37:46,897 --> 00:37:47,765 KNOW. 667 00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:49,700 [LAUGHTER] BUT I WENT TO A WEDDING WHERE 668 00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:53,738 THERE WAS A BILLIONAIRE THERE, AND I WENT WITH MY EX, AND IT 669 00:37:53,738 --> 00:37:57,775 WAS ON A BOAT, AND WE WERE HAVING A REAL GOOD TIME, AND WE 670 00:37:57,775 --> 00:38:00,011 WERE GETTING A LITTLE HOT AND HEAVY AND FRISKY AND STARTED 671 00:38:00,011 --> 00:38:03,681 MAKING OUT ON THE ROOF OF THIS BOAT, AND NO ONE WAS AROUND, BUT 672 00:38:03,681 --> 00:38:09,520 THEN I NOTICED OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE, THE BILLIONAIRE JUST 673 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:10,888 WATCHING US. 674 00:38:10,888 --> 00:38:12,356 AND THAT IS MY. 675 00:38:12,356 --> 00:38:15,760 [LAUGHTER] THAT'S WHAT I NEED. 676 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:19,130 I NEED A BILLIONAIRE TO WATCH. 677 00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:21,899 OH, YOU CAN GO TO A SEX STORE AND BUY YOUR. 678 00:38:21,899 --> 00:38:23,534 YOU KNOW WHAT MONEY CAN'T BUY IT? 679 00:38:23,534 --> 00:38:25,569 A BILLIONAIRE WATCHING. 680 00:38:25,569 --> 00:38:27,805 THANK YOU SO MUCH! 681 00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:30,274 THANK YOU FOR YOUR HEALING ENERGY! 682 00:38:30,274 --> 00:38:33,210 OH, MY GOD, THANK YOU. 683 00:38:33,210 --> 00:38:37,148 James: GREG BARRIS, "DEEP HEALING" IS AVAILABLE NOW. 684 00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:39,216 COME RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY! 685 00:38:52,997 --> 00:38:55,266 James: THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. 686 00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:58,002 TOMORROW NIGHT MILO VENTIMIGLIA WILL BE HERE. 687 00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:01,238 MADELYN CLINE, AND MUSIC FROM OUR VERY OWN TIM YOUNG! 688 00:39:01,238 --> 00:39:02,873 CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! 689 00:39:02,873 --> 00:39:03,941 REGGIE, TAKE US HOME!