1 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:10,051 ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW, OOH 2 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,220 ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW 3 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:18,143 IT'S THE LATE LATE SHOW ♪ >> JAMES: GOOD EVENING LADIES 4 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,145 AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE SHOW. 5 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:21,104 HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL DAY. 6 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:26,776 THANK YOU FOR ENDING IT WITH US, RIGHT HERE. 7 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,154 WE'RE SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. 8 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:31,072 NOW AS YOU'LL HAVE SEEN LAST NIGHT, FOR SAFETY REASONS, WE'RE 9 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,533 NOT ALLOWED INTO OUR REGULAR STUDIO RIGHT NOW. 10 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:37,120 SO WE'RE HERE IN MY GARAGE. 11 00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,247 BASICALLY, WE'RE ABOUT TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM GETTING DOWNGRADED TO 12 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:41,124 A PODCAST. 13 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,585 THAT'S WHERE WE'RE AT. 14 00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:45,128 ( LAUGHTER ) I'M HERE, YOU'RE HERE, REGGIE'S 15 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:51,092 HERE, THE BAND ARE HERE, IAN'S HERE, THEY'RE ALL IN THEIR 16 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:51,718 HOUSES. 17 00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:55,263 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 18 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,639 IT'S WEIRD. 19 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:57,640 I DON'T LIKE THIS. 20 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,977 I PREFER HAVING THE BAND IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME. 21 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:05,106 I FEED OFF THEIR "CASUAL DISINTEREST." 22 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,193 TONIGHT, WE'LL BE CHATTING WITH THE DASHING JAMES MARSDEN, AND 23 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,278 LATER WE HAVE A PERFORMANCE FROM TIM MINCHIN, STICK AROUND FOR 24 00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:13,281 THAT. 25 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:17,660 I WILL SAY THIS, I DO LIKE SEEING THE INSIDE OF 26 00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:18,828 THE BAND'S HOMES, SEEING HOW I'VE NEVER BEEN INVITED TO ANY 27 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:24,167 OF THEM. 28 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,710 I REALLY THOUGHT WHEN I FINALLY GOT TO SEE THE INSIDE OF 29 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,212 GUILLERMO'S HOUSE, IT WOULD INVOLVE ME PUTTING MY KEYS IN A 30 00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:29,214 BOWL. 31 00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:32,342 ( LAUGHTER ) >> WOW, YOU'RE GETTING A LOT OF 32 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:35,303 MILEAGE OFF OF THIS ONE SCENARIO. 33 00:01:35,386 --> 00:01:37,639 I LOVE YOUR IMAGINATION. 34 00:01:37,722 --> 00:01:39,098 >> James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 35 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:39,974 OF COURSE WE ARE. 36 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,727 WHAT ELSE THERE TO WORK WITH, GUILLERMO? 37 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,646 THIS IS ALL WE'VE GOT! 38 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:45,396 >> NO, I'M ALL FOR IT. 39 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,691 I'M JUST COMMENTING ON THE OBVIOUS. 40 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:53,196 >> YEAH, YOU'RE ALL FOR IT -- >> James: WOULD YOU SWING WITH 41 00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,323 ME, GUILLERMO? 42 00:01:55,406 --> 00:01:56,241 WOULD YOU, GENUINELY? 43 00:01:56,324 --> 00:02:01,037 LET'S SAY WE HAVE A COUPLE OF THE DRINKS -- 44 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,288 ( LAUGHTER ) IT'S COME TO THIS. 45 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:05,416 YOU'RE THE ONLY MEMBER OF THE BAND I WOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE TO 46 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,669 BE IN THAT POSITION WITH. 47 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:08,878 ( LAUGHTER ) >> I LOVE IT. 48 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,715 >> James: IAN, WE TALKED ABOUT IT A LITTLE LAST NIGHT, BUT IS 49 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:17,220 THERE A WORSE SETUP FOR COMEDY THAN WHAT WE'RE DOING RIGHT NOW? 50 00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:21,349 >> I DID STANDUP ONCE IN A BARBECUE RESTAURANT WHERE A GANG 51 00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:24,853 OF BIKERS WERE REVVING THEIR ENGINES OUTSIDE THROUGH MY 52 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:29,399 ENTIRE SET BECAUSE THE PREVIOUS COMEDIAN HAD PISSED THEM OFF, 53 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,191 AND THIS IS WORSE THAN THAT. 54 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:33,361 SO, NO, THIS IS AS BAD AS IT GETS. 55 00:02:33,444 --> 00:02:36,072 ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: I DON'T LIKE THIS 56 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:39,200 SITUATION, I REALLY DON'T. 57 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,244 MEANWHILE, YOU KNOW JAY LENO IS LIKE, "TELLING JOKES IN A 58 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:46,249 GARAGE, THAT'S MY DREAM JOB!" ( LAUGHTER ) 59 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:51,087 THAT'S MY IMPRESSION OF JAY LENO. 60 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:56,426 >> IS THERE A JOKE WRITTEN DOWN THERE OR ARE YOU JUST RIFFING? 61 00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:57,343 WHAT'S THE RATIO. 62 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:58,303 >> James: THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT. 63 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,138 YOU WILL NEVER KNOW, G. 64 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,974 YOU WILL NEVER EVER KNOW. 65 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:03,433 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 66 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,475 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 67 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:09,105 >> I DON'T WANT TO USE MY BRAIN ENERGY LIKE THAT. 68 00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:10,106 >> YOU BRAIN ENERGY? 69 00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:15,278 >> James: FOR THE ONE HOUR A DAY YOU'RE AT WORK. 70 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,238 ( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T WANT TO USE MY BRAIN 71 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,825 WHILE I'M IN WORK HOURS! 72 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:21,451 ( LAUGHTER ) >> FOR THAT. 73 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:22,952 FOR THAT. 74 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,954 >> James: SURE. 75 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:25,622 LET'S BE SPECIFIC. 76 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,956 RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. 77 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,417 >> James: I CAN TELL YOU, IT WAS WRITTEN DOWN. 78 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,962 ( LAUGHTER ) LOOK AT TIM. 79 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,298 TIM, YOU'RE GOING TO BURN QUITE A FEW CALORIES THIS WEEK. 80 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,174 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 81 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,384 YEAH, YESTERDAY, I DID A LITTLE SUMMARY. 82 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:43,598 IT WAS A 468 CALORIES. 83 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,099 >> James: THAT'S A LOT. 84 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,269 YEAH, I'M JUST GOING NOWHERE, JUST LIKE ALWAYS, BUT NOW I'M IN 85 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,189 MY GARAGE GOING NOWHERE. 86 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,440 >> IT'S ALL RELATIVE. 87 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:53,608 YEAH. 88 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:59,197 >> James: I DID 2, 5, 6, ON A BIKE THIS MORNING AND I FELT 89 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,281 HAPPY WITH THAT. 90 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,282 >> YEAH. 91 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:05,328 >> James: CAN YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THIS IS ON TV? 92 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,373 ( LAUGHTER ) >> NOW, I CAN. 93 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:11,334 >> James: WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER AND YOU WOULD WATCH, 94 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,753 LIKE, LATE NIGHT SHOWS, YOU KNOW, I IMAGINE THERE WOULD HAVE 95 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:17,340 BEEN A BIT OF YOU AT SOME POINT WOULD HAVE GONE, NO, I WONDER IF 96 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,383 I WOULD EVER GET TO WORK ON SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 97 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:24,013 DID YOU EVER THINK THAT THIS IS WHAT IT WOULD BE? 98 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:24,222 >> NO! 99 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:24,472 NO. 100 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:26,474 NO. 101 00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:27,558 >> NO. 102 00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,979 T LIKE THIS. 103 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,772 ( LAUGHTER ) I THOUGHT, LIKE, THERE WAS A 104 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,358 GOOD CHANCE I WOULD BE IN A DIAPER GETTING THROWN INTO, 105 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:39,362 LIKE, A POOL FULL OF BAKED BEANS ON CONAN OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, 106 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:40,863 BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS. 107 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:46,202 >> James: IT WOULDN'T BE AS DEGRADING AS THIS. 108 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,286 >> NO. 109 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,246 >> James: BUT, LOOK, WE'RE DOING ALL THIS, WE'RE JOKING 110 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:53,418 AROUND, BUT, YOU KNOW, SAFETY COMES FIRST, 111 00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:54,460 COMEDY COMES SECOND. 112 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,296 KEEP THAT IN MIND AS WE GET INTO TODAY'S HEADLINES. 113 00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,008 ( LAUGHTER ) AS YOU KNOW, THE STATE OF 114 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,884 GEORGIA WENT TO THE POLLS TODAY TO VOTE IN TWO RUNOFF ELECTIONS 115 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:11,728 THAT WILL ULTIMATELY DECIDE WHICH PARTY CONTROLS THE SENATE. 116 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:12,854 IF REPUBLICANS WIN EITHER RACE, THEY'LL CONTROL THE SENATE. 117 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,397 AND IF REPUBLICANS LOSE THE RACE, THEY'LL STILL SAY THEY 118 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,859 WON, AND WE'LL PRETTY MUCH BE BACK WHERE WE STARTED. 119 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:22,530 HERE'S THE THING -- I'M A SONG AND 120 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,699 DANCE MAN FROM HIGH WYCOMBE A SMALL MARKET TOWN 40 MINUTES 121 00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:26,743 OUTSIDE OF LONDON, AND I LONG FOR THE DAY WHEN I'M NOT 122 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:30,788 WHITE-KNUCKLING IT ON THE NIGHT OF A GEORGIA SENATE RUNOFF. 123 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:36,085 I'M NOT SAYING IT'S A STRESSFUL NIGHT, BUT ANYONE TRYING TO DO A 124 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:40,089 "DRY JANUARY" IS SCREWED. 125 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,550 ( LAUGHTER ) TO RALLY REPUBLICANS, PRESIDENT 126 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:43,634 TRUMP FLEW TO GEORGIA LAST NIGHT, AND ON THE FLIGHT, 127 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,094 IVANKA TRUMP TOOK THIS PHOTO. 128 00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,055 THIS LOOKS LIKE A PHOTO YOU WOULD TAKE IF THERE WAS A 129 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:51,309 CELEBRITY IN THE BOOTH NEXT TO YOU AT A RESTAURANT. 130 00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:52,560 BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER THAT'S A FATHER AND DAUGHTER AND IT'S 131 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:55,104 JUST KIND OF SAD. 132 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,483 BUT HERE'S THE THING, WHEN SHE POSTED THE PHOTO TO SOCIAL 133 00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:00,443 MEDIA, IVANKA TAGGED THE OFFICIAL G.O.P. ACCOUNT, THE TWO 134 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:04,405 GEORGIA SENATE CANDIDATES, AND THEN BIZARRELY, THE SINGER 135 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,824 MEAT LOAF. 136 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,117 I THINK I'M OUT OF THE LOOP HERE. 137 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,496 IS MEAT LOAF RUNNING FOR SENATE? 138 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,749 I FEEL BAD FOR MEAT LOAF IN ALL OF THIS. 139 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:18,336 AI DO. 140 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:19,754 HE WAS JUST MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS, WEARING A BILLOWING 141 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:23,424 LINEN SHIRT OPEN TO THE NAVEL, PLAYING TWO GRAND PIANOS AT THE 142 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,635 SAME TIME, ILLUMINATED BY A THOUSAND CANDELABRAS, AND THEN 143 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,472 ALL OF A SUDDEN, HIS TWITTER IS BLOWING UP. 144 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:35,520 NOW, WHEN THEY GOT TO THE RALLY, KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE INTRODUCED 145 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,522 HER BOYFRIEND, DONALD TRUMP JUNIOR, AND SHE GOT A LITTLE... 146 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,274 INTENSE. 147 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,485 >> I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I HAVE THE GREAT HONOR AND PRIDE TO 148 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:46,864 WORK EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH AN INCREDIBLE MAVERICK WHO LOVES 149 00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:51,452 HIS FATHER, WHO FIGHTS AND BELIEVES IN THIS COUNTRY, AND 150 00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:54,497 THAT'S DONALD TRUMP, JR., THE SON OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE 151 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,542 UNITED STATES! 152 00:06:57,625 --> 00:07:00,503 ( CHEERING ) AND HE LOVES GEORGIA! 153 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:04,132 >> JAMES: "AND HE LOVES..." 154 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,843 "GEORGIA!" WOW, THAT WAS LOUD. 155 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,052 IS SHE INTRODUCING THE PRESIDENT'S SON, OR TRYING TO 156 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:12,181 ENTER A GROCERY STORE WITHOUT A MASK ON? 157 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,475 AND HERE'S THE THING, WHEN DONALD TRUMP JUNIOR TOOK THE 158 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:20,523 STAGE, HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET EVEN LOUDER. 159 00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:24,193 >> GUYS, WHEN YOU'RE AT A DISADVANTAGE, YOU DON'T TAKE 160 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:24,861 YOUR BALL AND GO HOME! 161 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:29,073 YOU GET OUT THERE AND YOU FIGHT! 162 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,283 HARDER! 163 00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:30,741 >> JAMES: BASED ON HIS TONE, WHEN HE SAYS "BALL," I ASSUME HE 164 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:34,370 MEANS "EIGHTBALL." 165 00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:36,205 CAN YOU IMAGINE THESE TWO AT DINNER? 166 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:36,581 HOW WAS YOUR DAY?!! 167 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,374 IT WAS GOOD!! 168 00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,209 WHAT ABOUT YOU?!! 169 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,544 IT WAS ALSO GOOD!! 170 00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:42,545 SHOULD WE WATCH "THE CROWN" LATER?! 171 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:43,713 YES!! 172 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:48,217 BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO FINISH THE REST OF "MASKED SINGER" WE 173 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:53,514 DVR'D!! 174 00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:57,602 I HOPE WE CAN JUST DO COCAINE! 175 00:07:57,685 --> 00:07:59,896 ( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN, CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT 176 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,399 THESE TWO ARE LIKE IN BED? 177 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:04,901 >> Reggie: AH! 178 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,110 NO, PLEASE. 179 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:10,531 >> James: IT MUST BE A CONTEST TO SHOW EACH OTHER WHO'S HAVING 180 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:12,617 A BETTER TIME. 181 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:18,664 LATER IN THE RALLY, PRESIDENT TRUMP SPOKE, AND HE TALKED ABOUT 182 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:21,626 THE GALLUP POLL THAT NAMED HIM -- 183 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:25,463 >> WE HAVE MADE AMERICA POWERFUL AGAIN, THE MILITARY. 184 00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:28,883 WE HAVE MADE AMERICA WEALTHY AGAIN, OUR STOCK MARKET. 185 00:08:28,966 --> 00:08:32,470 WE HAVE MADE AMERICA STRONG AGAIN, LOOK AT THAT ARM. 186 00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:34,764 LOOK AT THAT ARM. 187 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:38,517 ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: THAT MUST BE HIS 188 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,769 TWEETING ARM. 189 00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:43,481 THIS IS HOW WE END UP WITH TRUMP IN A BOXING RING HAVING A FIGHT 190 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:44,941 WITH LOGAN PAUL. 191 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,275 I'M ALL FOR IT. 192 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,235 I AM. 193 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,570 ( LAUGHTER ) AS USUAL, TRUMP ENDED THE RALLY 194 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:53,908 BY, ONCE AGAIN, DANCING TOO THE YMCA. 195 00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:57,954 >> GO GET 'EM DAVID, GO GET 'EM, KELLY! 196 00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:10,800 GO GET 'EM TOMORROW! 197 00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,094 ♪♪♪ >> OH! 198 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,595 I JUST -- >> James: LOOK AT THEM ARMS! 199 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:19,016 IT'S ACTUALLY DISTURBING. 200 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:27,733 HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S PULLING A LEAVE ON TWO FROYO MACHINES AT 201 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:28,985 THE SAME TIME. 202 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:33,322 WHEN I SAW THAT LAST NIGHT, I GOT SAD BECAUSE I REALIZED THIS 203 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,617 WAS PROBABLY TRUMP'S LAST RALLY AS PRESIDENT, WHICH MEANS WE'VE 204 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:44,166 JUST WATCHED HIM DANCE TO THE YMCA FOR THE LAST TIME. 205 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,793 BUT WE'LL NEVER FORGET. 206 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:49,046 AND TO COMMEMORATE THIS MOMENT, WE'VE PUT TOGETHER A LITTLE 207 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,840 VIDEO, ENJOY. 208 00:09:50,923 --> 00:10:00,891 ♪♪♪ ( YMCA ) 209 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:10,860 ♪♪♪ ( YMCA ) 210 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:19,368 ♪♪♪ >> JAMES: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK 211 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,453 WITH MORE "LATE LATE SHOW!" ♪♪♪ 212 00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,551 >>> THANKS A LOT FOR COMING BACK. 213 00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,094 HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS SEGMENT. 214 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,764 IT'S CALLED SEGMENT TWO. 215 00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,141 >> James: WELCOME BACK. 216 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:45,353 NOW, YOU MAY BE WONDERING WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHY WE SUDDENLY 217 00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:47,772 LOOK SO FABULOUS. 218 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:52,401 IT'S BECAUSE TODAY IS A VERY SPECIAL AND MOST AUSPICIOUS DAY. 219 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,779 A DAY OF WONDER, A DAY OF EXCITEMENT, A DAY OF FEDORAS, 220 00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:59,408 CELEBRATION, AND MORE FEDORAS. 221 00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,912 TODAY WE CELEBRATE THE BIRTHDAY OF OUR FAVORITE FASHION ICON. 222 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:08,918 I AM, OF COURSE, TALKING ABOUT DIANE KEATON. 223 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,878 IT WILL COME AS NO SURPRISE THAT DIANE'S BIRTHDAY IS ALWAYS THE 224 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:17,134 BIGGEST DAY OF THE YEAR AT THE SHOW. 225 00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,762 EVERY YEAR WE DO SOMETHING GREAT. 226 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,723 AND WITH THIS YEAR BEING HER 75TH BIRTHDAY, WE PULLED OUT ALL 227 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:23,974 THE STOPS. 228 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,769 NOW, UNFORTUNATELY, WE'VE SINCE HAD TO SCALE BACK ON THIS EVENT. 229 00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:31,315 NONE OF US ARE TOGETHER, BUT WE STILL WANTED TO DO A 230 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,525 LITTLE SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE. 231 00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,819 AND, IT SEEMED ONLY FITTING WE HONOR THIS PANTSUIT GODDESS BY 232 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:38,989 HOSTING OUR VERY OWN DRESS LIKE YOUR FAVORITE DIANE KEATON STAFF 233 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:41,826 CHALLENGE. 234 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:46,914 >> DIANE KEATON STAFF CHALLENGE... 235 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:51,043 >> Announcer: NOW, IAN AND REGGIE HAVE GRACIOUSLY 236 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:55,464 OFFERED TO HELP ME JUDGE TODAY'S STAFFER LOOKS. 237 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,966 BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT, LET'S DISCUSS THE GORGEOUS DIANE 238 00:11:57,049 --> 00:12:00,678 KEATON MOMENT WE'RE ALL HAVING. 239 00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:06,851 WE'RE ALL DIANE KEATON IN "THE FIRST WIVES CLUB." 240 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,644 LOOK AT US. 241 00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,146 HOW ARE WE FEELING? 242 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:10,604 >> ME? 243 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:11,313 HOW AM I FEELING? 244 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:14,984 ( LAUGHTER ) OH, I DON'T KNOW. 245 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:19,780 ( LAUGHTER ) >> James: LOOK AT THIS. 246 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,825 IMAGINE IF SOMEONE JUST TUNED IN AT THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW. 247 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:28,747 NOW, LOOK, IT'S GOING TO BE DIFFICULT FOR ANYONE TO BEAT OUR 248 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:32,501 DIANE KEATON VIBE, BUT WE'RE NOT IN THE COMPETITION. 249 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,669 SO WE'LL LET THEM TRY. 250 00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:36,672 JOINING US FROM HOME ARE SIX "THE LATE LATE SHOW" STAFFERS, 251 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:41,343 ALL OF WHOM ARE ADORNED IN THEIR FAVORITE DIANE KEATON FIT. 252 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,555 OKAY, THERE WERE NO REAL PRARMINGTS WHEN CHOOSING WHICH 253 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,808 DIANE KEATON WE WERE GOING TO BE, ONLY THAT EACH PERSON'S LOOK 254 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:51,061 BE INSPIRED BY ONE OF DIANE'S OWN, OKAY. 255 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:55,316 SO JOINING US FIRST IS LOUIE, WHO IS A WRITER ON THE SHOW, AND 256 00:12:55,399 --> 00:13:01,697 HE WILL BE RE-CREATING THIS ICONIC LOOK FROM ANNIE HALL. 257 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,283 SO LET'S SEE HOW LOUIE DID. 258 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,202 OH, IT'S GOOD. 259 00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:09,038 OH, IT'S VERY GOOD LOUIE. 260 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,539 HOW DO YOU FEEL? 261 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:11,040 >> I FEEL GREAT. 262 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:13,876 THIS IS 2021 LOUIE. 263 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:18,255 >> I'D LIKE TO SEE HIM CHASING A LOBSTER AROUND THE KITCHEN. 264 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,717 I'D LIKE TO SEE HIM GETTING FLUSTERED IN THE STREETS OF 265 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:22,384 NEW YORK. 266 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:22,885 I THINK HE LOOKS FANTASTIC. 267 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,888 .>> James: REGGIE? 268 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:29,934 >> Reggie: YEAH, I THINK IT'S SHOCKINGLY ACCURATE. 269 00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:35,189 I WOULD SAY THAT I AM MISSING THAT HIGH WAISTLINE, YOU KNOW, 270 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,983 THAT REALLY HIGH WAIST WITH A BELT, WITH A SMALL BELT. 271 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,487 I THINK THAT WOULD REALLY KIND OF FINISH OFF THE OUTFIT. 272 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:45,741 >> James: WELL, LOOK, IT'S TIME TO AT THE SIDE WHAT WE GIVE 273 00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:46,992 THIS LOOK. 274 00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,411 EACH JUDGE HAS TWO CARDS WITH THEM THAT HAVE BEEN SENT TO YOUR 275 00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:50,329 HOME. 276 00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,081 SO WE HAVE A GLAD KEATON AND A MAD KEATON. 277 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:57,127 SINCE WE KNOW THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A MAD DIANE KEATON, 278 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,922 INSTEAD, WE WILL BE USING A PHOTO OF MICHAEL KEATON AT THE 279 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:04,802 POINT THAT HE REALIZED HE DID NOT WIN BEST ACTOR AT THE OSCARS 280 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,054 AND EDDIE REDMAYNE WON. 281 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,806 SO YOU'VE GOT A GLAD AND MAD KEATON. 282 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,933 REGGIE, LET'S VIEW FIRST. 283 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,851 ARE YOU MAD KEATON OR GLAD KEATON? 284 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,105 >> Reggie: I'M GOING TO GO GLAD. 285 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:16,939 IT'S A REALLY GOOD EFFORT. 286 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,608 >> James: IAN? 287 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:25,155 >> Ian: MY GRANNY HALL ALWAYS TOLD ME TO GIVE LOUIE A GLAD 288 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:25,948 KEATON. 289 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:27,283 >> James: IT'S THREE GLAD KEATONS. 290 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,744 WELL DONE, LOUIE, YOU CAN'T GET BETTER THAN THAT. 291 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:31,870 NEXT WE'RE GOING TO SUSAN. 292 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:36,792 SUSAN, IN MANY WAYS, IS "THE LATE LATE SHOW"'S OWN DIANE 293 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:41,422 KEATON AND SHE'S DONE WITH -- GONE WITH THIS CHIC KEATON OUT 294 00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:42,673 IN THE WILD LOOK. 295 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:43,090 LET'S SEE HOW SHE DID. 296 00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:45,175 OH, SUSAN! 297 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,302 >> Reggie: DAMN! 298 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:47,970 >> James: I CAN'T EVEN TELL THE DIFFERENCE THERE, SUSAN. 299 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:52,891 I REALLY REALLY CAN'T. 300 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:57,229 HOW DID YOU FEEL IN THIS LEVEL OF FLAIR, SUSAN? 301 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,063 >> I FEEL FANTASTIC. 302 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,317 I FEEL I'M A NATURAL KEATON BY NATURE. 303 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,318 IT JUST COMES NATURAL TO ME. 304 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:07,781 >> James: REGGIE, ARE WE GLAD OR ARE WE MAD? 305 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:08,949 >> I'M PRETTY GLAD. 306 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,494 AGAIN, I'M MISSING THE HIGH WASTEDNESS WHERE THERE'S A LOT 307 00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:14,163 OF LOW 90s WAIST GOING OBSERVE. 308 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,165 BUT I'M GOING TO GIVE A GLAD BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY SHOCKING. 309 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,834 >> James: IT'S A GLAD KEATON. 310 00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:19,418 IAN? 311 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:20,210 >> I'VE GOT TO BE HONEST. 312 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,837 I'M MISSING THE BELT. 313 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:27,301 I'M MISSING THE BIG BELT, YOU KNOW. 314 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,970 BELT WAS A LITTLE BIT BIGGER. 315 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:34,308 IT'S BIG, BUT I WISH IT WAS A LITTLE BIT BIGGER HOLDING 316 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:39,647 TOGETHER THE PARTS THAT ARE EQUAL ZINNIA AND CLASSY THAT 317 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,524 MAKES DIANE KEATON SO I HAVE TO GIVE IT A MAD KEATON. 318 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:43,400 I'M SORRY. 319 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:46,195 >> James: WOW, I DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING. 320 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,238 SUSAN,IVE GIVEN YOU A GLAD KEATON. 321 00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:48,572 TWO OUT OF THREE. 322 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,325 WELL DONE. 323 00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:58,499 NEXT UP, WE HAVE CECE ALSO RECREATING THE ICONIC 324 00:15:58,582 --> 00:15:59,166 ANNIE HALL. 325 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:01,418 LET'S SEE HOW SHE DID. 326 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:02,586 JUDGES ANY COMMENTS? 327 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:12,179 >> I THINK IT WOULD BE CECE24-7, 364. 328 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:17,559 >> Reggie: IN MY CECE PERSPECTIVE I ALWAYS GO FOR 329 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:21,313 DEVILLE, BUT IN THIS CASE I THINK WE'RE DOING REALLY NEW 330 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,692 CECE TERRITORY. 331 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,111 >> James: WE'VE GOT TWO ANNIE HALLS. 332 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:31,115 SO THIS CALLS FOR A HAUL-OFF, AND ONLY ONE CAN MAKE IT 333 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:33,075 THROUGH. 334 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:37,871 CAN WE SEE IT SIDE BY SIDE? 335 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:38,414 >> LA TI DA. 336 00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:38,914 LA TI DA. 337 00:16:38,997 --> 00:16:39,623 OKAY, I'M GOING TO GO. 338 00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:40,082 I'M GOING TO GO. 339 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:40,624 OKAY. 340 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,209 >> I'M GOING WITH LOUIE. 341 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,128 THE LA TI DA SOLD ME. 342 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:47,464 >> James: I'M GOING WITH CECE. 343 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,091 REGGIE, IT'S UP TO YOU. 344 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:52,761 >> Reggie: LOUIE, ONLY BECAUSE TO HAVE THE VEST CUT -- ONLY 345 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:57,266 BECAUSE OF THE VEST CUT, THE ROUNDED PART, THAT'S WHAT DOES 346 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:57,933 IT. 347 00:16:58,016 --> 00:16:59,560 >> James: LOUIE, YOU'RE DONE. 348 00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:00,936 CECE, YOU'RE OUT. 349 00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:05,441 NEXT TO JOEL WHO RECREATES THE CLASSIC KEATON POWER SUIT. 350 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,109 THAT'S WHAT IT SHOULD LOOK LIKE. 351 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:11,113 LET'S SEEO JOEL'S. 352 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:17,244 WOW, YOU LOOK LIKE JULIAN ASSANGE. 353 00:17:17,327 --> 00:17:19,121 ( LAUGHTER ) THIS COULD BE MICHAEL KEATON IN 354 00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:25,544 BATMAN. 355 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,171 I'M GOING TO SAY, JOEL, I APPRECIATE THE EFFORT. 356 00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:30,966 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A MAD KEATON. 357 00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:31,467 >> I'M GOING MAD, TOO. 358 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,343 THE SUIT ISN'T FITTED. 359 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,138 I WANT TO SEE IT HUG IN THE CURVES. 360 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:41,310 DIANE KEATON WOULDN'T EVER STEP OUT IN SOMETHING THAT DIDN'T FIT 361 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:47,274 HER FORM UNLESS SHE DELIBERATELY HEADED OUT IN A BAGGY KHAKI 362 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:51,320 ENSEMBLE IN "SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE," SO I'VE GOT TO GIVE IT A 363 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,155 BAD KEATON. 364 00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:53,530 >> James: REGGIE? 365 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,156 MAD ABOUT YOU. 366 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,867 >> James: IT'S A MAD KEATON. 367 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:57,951 SORRY, JOEL. 368 00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:08,212 NEXT UP, WIN ANY, WHO IS RE-CREATING THIS LESSEN BUT 369 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:12,674 EXTREMELY GREAT KEATON. 370 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:13,675 VERY GOOD. 371 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,720 I SHOULD ALSO SAY IT'S WINNIE'S BIRTHDAY TODAY. 372 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:20,516 WINNIE, DID YOU ALWAYS KNOW THAT YOU SHARED A BIRTHDAY WITH DIANE 373 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:21,350 KEATON? 374 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:22,017 >> OH, YEAH. 375 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:25,521 YEAH, SHE'S THE CAPRICORN QUEEN. 376 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,522 SHE'S MY BIRTHDAY TWIN. 377 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,648 OF COURSE, I DID. 378 00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:29,316 >> James: IS THIS HOW YOU IMAGINED YOU WOULD BE SPENDING 379 00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,151 THIS BIRTHDAY, WINNIE. 380 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,194 >> THIS IS ACTUALLY BETTER. 381 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:35,239 I THINK THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO SPEND MY BIRTHDAY. 382 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,199 >> James: OKAY. 383 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:41,036 I'M GOING TO DUCK POINTS HERE BECAUSE WINNIE'S KEPT HER 384 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,122 ORIGINAL HAIR WHICH DOES DETRACT SOMEWHAT BUT IT IS WINNIE'S 385 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:48,085 BIRTHDAY, SO I'M GIVING YOU A GLAD KEATON. 386 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,878 OKAY. 387 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,046 IAN. 388 00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:55,592 >> THE HOLD ON THE CHICO'S IS PERFECT, THE BERET IS PERFECT. 389 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,095 SHE'S NOT WEARING LINEN, BUT IT'S STILL SCREAMING LINEN TO 390 00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:58,720 ME. 391 00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,722 I'M GIVING IT A GLAD KEATON. 392 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,974 >> James: REG. 393 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:05,352 >> Reggie: I'M GOING TO GIVE A NICE ONE, NOT BECAUSE IT'S YOUR 394 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:09,731 BIRTHDAY BUT BECAUSE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. 395 00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:12,901 >> James: THAT'S THREE GLAD CEETENS. 396 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:16,738 FINALLY, CARTER RE-CREATING THIS STUNNING PLAID MOMENT FROM THE 397 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:17,281 ACADEMY AWARDS. 398 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:21,368 LET'S SEE HOW HE DID. 399 00:19:21,451 --> 00:19:23,745 CRTER, LOOK AT THIS! 400 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:24,246 IT'S STUNNING! 401 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:25,414 >> THANK YOU, JAMES. 402 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,291 >> James: SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE AND WHAT'S GOT TO GIVE IS 403 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:32,421 ME GIVING YOU A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE! 404 00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:35,132 ( APPLAUSE ) IAN, ANY THOUGHTS? 405 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:35,757 >> Ian: I LOVE IT. 406 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,301 I THINK CARTER NAILED IT. 407 00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:42,639 I CAN SEE CARTER ON STAGE CALLING NANCY MEYERS A SISTER, A 408 00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:44,099 POETENNED A QUEEN. 409 00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:45,267 I GIVE THE PLAQUE TO YOU. 410 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,476 >> James: REGGIE? 411 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:50,147 >> Reggie: IN THE PICTURE, YOU DON'T SEE HER WEARING AIR PODS, 412 00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,859 SO THAT'S SOMETHING --IO REALLY LIKE THAT, BUT I WILL GO WITH 413 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,319 THE POSITIVE JUST BECAUSE OF THE DOUBLE JACKET AND THE BELT. 414 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,446 I MEAN, COME ON. 415 00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,114 >> James: THIS IS INCREDIBLE. 416 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:00,991 I'M ALSO GOING TO GO WITH A GLAD KEATON. 417 00:20:01,074 --> 00:20:02,743 SO THERE WE GO, GUYS. 418 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:05,162 THE TIME HAS COME, IAN AND REGGIE, ON THE COUNT OF THREE, 419 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:08,040 WE WILL SAY WHO HAS WON. 420 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:10,417 THE WINNER OF THE DRESS LIKE YOUR FAVORITE DIANE KEATON STAFF 421 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:15,297 CHALLENGE IS -- ONE, TWO, THREE -- CARTER! 422 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:15,797 >> CARTER. 423 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,425 >> Reggie: CARTER! 424 00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:19,927 >> James: WELL DONE, CARTER. 425 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:23,263 EVERYONE'S A WINNER TODAY, AND WE WANT TO THANK ALL OF TODAY'S 426 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:27,434 CONTESTANTS AND MOST ESPECIALLY WE WANT TO THANK DIANE KEATON 427 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:28,101 HERSELF. 428 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,438 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DIANE KEATON. 429 00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:38,195 BACK WITH JAMES MARSDEN, EVERYBODY. 430 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:39,655 ♪♪♪ 431 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,500 >> Reggie: ONE IN A LIFETIME EXERCISE VIDEO RIGHT HERE. 432 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:55,379 BACK TO THE SHOW. 433 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:58,382 >> James: WELCOME BACK. 434 00:20:58,465 --> 00:21:00,509 HE'S THE HANDSOME STAR OF 'WESTWORLD', 'DEAD TO ME' AND 435 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:06,390 'MRS. AMERICA,' THE CHARMING THE TALENTED, JAMES MARSDEN! 436 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:07,307 THERE HE IS! 437 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,559 LOOK AT THIS GUY! 438 00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,228 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A CLAP. 439 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,355 HANG ON, LOOK! 440 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:14,481 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LOOK AT THAT. 441 00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:16,400 HOW ARE YOU, JAMES? 442 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:16,817 ARE YOU WELL? 443 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,026 >> I'M GREAT. 444 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:21,863 YOU KNOW, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, IT'S THE UNSPOKEN ALL THINGS 445 00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,491 CONSIDERED WE ALWAYS HAVE TO SAY, RIGHT? 446 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:25,367 I CAN'T COMPLAIN. 447 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:25,909 I'M DOING WELL. 448 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,327 HOW ARE YOU? 449 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,372 >> James: YOU'VE HAD QUITE THE YEAR BECAUSE YOU'VE MOVED TO 450 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,540 AUSTIN, TEXAS. 451 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:36,503 SO YOU DID THAT SORT OF, I THINK, JUST INTO -- I THINK WHEN 452 00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:37,254 QUARANTINE JUST STARTED. 453 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:38,380 WHAT MADE YOU WANTED TO MOVE THERE? 454 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:40,215 HOW IS IT GOING? 455 00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:43,385 ARE YOU ENJOYING LIFE THERE? 456 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,220 >> I'M -- I AM ENJOYING IT HERE. 457 00:21:45,303 --> 00:21:49,599 I GREW UP IN OKLAHOMA CLOSE BY, SO I'M BACK IN THE REGION, AND 458 00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:52,894 I'VE ALWAYS VISITED AUSTIN THE LAST 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE, ALWAYS 459 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:56,523 TAKEN MY KIDS DOWN HERE, ALWAYS WANTED TO GET A RAMP, BUILD ON 460 00:21:56,606 --> 00:22:01,903 SOME LAND, AND NOW I'M KIND OF -- THIS LAST YEAR HAS MADE ME 461 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:05,073 REALIZE THAT MAYBE NOW IS TIME FOR A LITTLE CHANGE AND, HEY, GO 462 00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:05,949 DO IT. 463 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,368 SO I'M DIVING IN HEAD FIRST. 464 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:09,369 NOTHING IS IRREVERSIBLE. 465 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:10,454 IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT, I CAN ALWAYS COME BACK. 466 00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:11,663 BUT I'M ENJOYING IT. 467 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:18,462 >> James: YOU'VE HAD SUCH AN INCREDIBLE CAREER TO THIS POINT. 468 00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:22,758 YOU'VE MADE SO MANY INTERESTING AND BRILLIANT CHOICES. 469 00:22:22,841 --> 00:22:24,509 WHEN YOU FIRST GOT TO LOS ANGELES, WHAT WERE THOSE 470 00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:27,929 FIRST YEARS IN L.A. LIKE FOR YOU? 471 00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,097 >> I LOVED IT. 472 00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,265 I LOVED IT. 473 00:22:30,348 --> 00:22:36,271 LIKE I SAID, I GREW UP IN OKLAHOMA, I LEFT WHEN I WAS 19. 474 00:22:36,354 --> 00:22:37,481 MY PARENTS SUPPORTED MY FINANCIALLY. 475 00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:41,401 THEY SUPPORTED MY DECISION TO MOVE TO L.A. TO BE AN ACTOR FOR 476 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:42,569 A YEAR. 477 00:22:42,652 --> 00:22:46,156 IF IT DIDN'T WORK OUT AND I WASN'T ABLE TO SUPPORT MYSELF, 478 00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:47,449 THEY WOULD SAY COME BACK AND FINISH SCHOOL. 479 00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:50,994 IT WAS AWESOME, IT WAS THRILLING. 480 00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:51,495 IT WASN'T SCARY TO ME. 481 00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:53,789 I ENJOYED ALL OF IT. 482 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:57,959 I GOT REALLY LUCKY EARLY ON. 483 00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:04,007 I GOT OFFERED TO BE ON "DAYS OF OUR LIVES," SIGNED A THREE-YEAR 484 00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:08,136 CONTRACT ON "DAYS OF OUR LIVES" TO WHICH MY MANAGER SAID AT THE 485 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:12,808 TIME WE GOT A LOT OF GOOD FEEDBACK FROM OTHER PROJECTS, 486 00:23:12,891 --> 00:23:15,310 MAYBE JUST DON'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW. 487 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:18,563 I CAME FROM MOWING LAWNS IN OKLAHOMA AND GOING WHY AM I 488 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:22,359 IT WAS BASICALLY YOU DON'T WANT TO GET LOCKED IN AND KEEP YOUR 489 00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:23,193 OPTIONS OPEN AND BE SMART. 490 00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:26,321 SOMETIMES SAYING NO IS A BETTER THING. 491 00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:30,575 THERE ARE A FEW THINGS IN MY PAST I WAS HAPPY TO SAY NO TO, 492 00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:34,413 AND A FEW OTHER THINGS I MAYBE WOULD HAVE DONE IT OVER. 493 00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:36,623 >> James: WHAT HAVE YOU PASSED ON THAT YOU WISHED YOU WOULD 494 00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,708 HAVE DONE? 495 00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:43,004 >> NOW THAT HE'S SAYING THAT, I'M BLANKING. 496 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:46,133 I WAS OFFERED A ROLE IN "MAGIC MIKE." 497 00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:49,010 >> James: REALLY? 498 00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,680 YEAH, I HAD THE FEAR THAT I WOULD BE EDIT OUT OF THE MOVIE 499 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:55,517 AND I WOULD JUST -- ALL MY LINES WOULD BE CUT OUT AND I WOULD BE 500 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,395 AN EXTRA RUNNING AROUND IN A G-STRING. 501 00:23:58,478 --> 00:24:03,024 SO I THINK IT WAS A LACK OF COURAGE ON MY PART. 502 00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,652 BUT THEN I WAS, LIKE, WHAT AM I DOING? 503 00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:06,862 I JUST SHOULD HAVE DONE IT. 504 00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:12,075 BUT I STILL HAVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS WHO THINK IT WAS A NICE 505 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:17,205 THING NOT TO DO IT BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE ME LIKE THAT. 506 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:21,418 I COULD HAVE JUMPED IN AND HAD FUN WITH THAT. 507 00:24:21,501 --> 00:24:31,678 BUT MORE LIKELY THAN NOT I AVOIDED PITFALLS. 508 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:32,721 ER. 509 00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:36,433 >> James: IN "THE STAND," TELL EVERYONE WHO YOU PLAY. 510 00:24:36,516 --> 00:24:41,521 >> ONE OF HIS MASTER PIECES FROM THE LATE '70s, I PLAY STU 511 00:24:41,605 --> 00:24:47,194 REDMAN, A GUY FROM EAST TEXAS, SMAWFL-TOWN, BLUE-COLLAR WORKER 512 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:51,781 WHO IS IMMUNE TO THE VIRUS WIPING OUTT 9% OF THE POPULATION 513 00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:55,076 IN TWO WEEKS CALLED CAPTAIN TRIPS, AND THERE ARE A HANDFUL 514 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:59,289 OF PEOPLE WHO ARE IMMUNE TO THE VIRUS AND THEY START TO 515 00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:01,541 CONGREGATE TOGETHER IN THESE CAMPS, ONE IN BOULDER, ONE IN 516 00:25:01,625 --> 00:25:09,424 LAS VEGAS, AND ALEXANDER SCARSGUARD IS THE EPITOME OF 517 00:25:09,507 --> 00:25:13,762 EVIL AND COMES TO PEOPLE IN THEIR DREAMS. 518 00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:20,519 MOTHER ABIGAIL PLAYED BY WHOOPI GOLDBERG IS THE MOTHER OF DREAMS 519 00:25:20,602 --> 00:25:21,728 WHO IS GOOD. 520 00:25:21,811 --> 00:25:28,652 SO WHILE IT'S ABOUT A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, IT'S A STORY MECHANISM 521 00:25:28,735 --> 00:25:31,738 OF TELLING THE BIGGER STORY OF GOOD VERSUS EVIL. 522 00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:36,785 >> James: YOU RAPPED PRODUCTION IN MARCH LAST YEAR, 523 00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:38,495 JUST AS SHUTDOWNS WERE STARTING FROM COVID. 524 00:25:38,578 --> 00:25:44,459 GIVEN THE SUBJECT MATERIAL, HOW PARANOID WERE YOU WHEN, YOU 525 00:25:44,542 --> 00:25:47,796 KNOW, COVID STARTED TO JUST ENTER ALL OF OUR LIVES? 526 00:25:47,879 --> 00:25:51,007 >> RIGHT, YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, WE WERE SHOOTING IN VANCOUVER, 527 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:53,927 AND YOU STARTED TO HEAR ABOUT IT LATE DECEMBER AND THEN INTO 528 00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:58,515 JANUARY, AND WE SHOT UP UNTIL MARCH, AND IN FEBRUARY YOU'D 529 00:25:58,598 --> 00:26:02,852 START TO SEE A MASK OR TWO ON SET AND, YOU KNOW, SOME HAND 530 00:26:02,936 --> 00:26:06,481 SANITIZER COME OUT, AND THEN THERE WERE STRICTER MEASUREMENTS 531 00:26:06,564 --> 00:26:07,732 TAKEN. 532 00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,985 BUT IT WAS JUST STRANGE, HAVING FINISHED SIX MONTHS OF DOING A 533 00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:13,863 SHOW ABOUT A PERCHING AND NOW THIS IS ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, 534 00:26:13,947 --> 00:26:15,156 HAPPENING. 535 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,158 OBVIOUSLY, MARCH IS WHEN IT SORT OF WENT, YOU KNOW, REALLY REALLY 536 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,703 HEAVY WITH THE LOCKDOWNS AND EVERYTHING, BUT WE WERE ABLE TO 537 00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:24,291 WRAP UP THE 15th OF MARCH, FLEW BACK TO LOS ANGELES AND, 538 00:26:24,374 --> 00:26:27,043 YOU KNOW, GO INTO LOCKDOWN IMMEDIATELY. 539 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,795 SO IT WAS A STRANGE, STRANGE THING FOR SURE. 540 00:26:28,878 --> 00:26:34,968 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IT'S -- IT'S -- IT'S PROBABLY NOT THE 541 00:26:35,051 --> 00:26:36,553 BEST TIMING, BUT -- >>James: I THINK IT IS, 542 00:26:36,636 --> 00:26:41,641 THOUGH, I DO, BECAUSE I THINK WATCHING A SHOW LIKE THAT, QUITE 543 00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:43,685 OFTEN YOU THROUGH THOSE THINGS AREN'T GOING TO HAPPEN, AND I 544 00:26:43,768 --> 00:26:48,356 FEEL LIKE IT ROOTS IT, IT GROUNDS IT SOMEHOW, I REALLY DO, 545 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,400 AND I THINK YOU ARE FANTASTIC IN THE SHOW. 546 00:26:50,483 --> 00:26:53,903 AND LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP FROM "THE STAND," WHICH DROPS 547 00:26:53,987 --> 00:27:01,369 NEW EPISODES EVERY THURSDAY EXCLUSIVELY ON CBS ALL ACCESS. 548 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,538 >> MOTHER ABIGAIL ASKED THESE FIVE PEOPLE UP HERE ON THIS 549 00:27:03,621 --> 00:27:06,583 STAGE TO HELP US TAKE THE LEAD AND GET THIS PLACE UP AND 550 00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:08,710 RUNNING ON ITS FEET. 551 00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:12,922 AS I LOOK AROUND THIS ROOM, IT SEEMS TO ME WE'RE ON OUR FEET 552 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:13,631 NOW. 553 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:25,560 ( APPLAUSE ) >> WHAT HAPPENED? 554 00:27:25,643 --> 00:27:28,438 AND THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR YOU ALL TO TAKE A VOTE ON WHO 555 00:27:28,521 --> 00:27:30,899 YOU WANT IN CHARGE. 556 00:27:30,982 --> 00:27:34,903 >> James: OH, THAT'S GOOD. 557 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,988 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE JAMES MARSDEN, EVERYBODY. 558 00:27:56,883 --> 00:27:58,426 >> Reggie: OKAY. 559 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,428 IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BACK. 560 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:06,434 GET READY FOR SOME MORE -- MARSDEN! 561 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:09,813 >> James: WE ARE BACK WITH SOME MORE MARSDEN! 562 00:28:09,896 --> 00:28:11,940 REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUESTS THIS EVENING? 563 00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:12,857 >> Reggie: YES, I DO. 564 00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:18,113 TONIGHT'S QUESTION GOES TO -- ( DRUM ROLL ) 565 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:20,407 -- LET'S MAKE IT FOR MR. MARSDEN. 566 00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:21,783 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, BY THE WAY. 567 00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:23,743 >> GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO. 568 00:28:23,827 --> 00:28:25,954 >> Reggie: THANKS, MAN. 569 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:30,125 SO MY QUESTION IS DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY THAT'S HAD LASIK EYE 570 00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:35,797 SURGERY AND ARE THEY HAPPY WITH IT? 571 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:40,218 >> I DO. 572 00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:43,179 MY EX-WIFE HAD LASIK EYE SURGERY, AND SHE WAS UNHAPPY 573 00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:47,809 WITH IT FOR A SOLID YEAR BECAUSE I THINK IT WORSENED HER EYESIGHT 574 00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:53,273 WAS LASIK, IT WAS SOME SORT OF LASER EYE SURGERY SO I DON'T 575 00:28:53,356 --> 00:28:56,025 WANT TO TAKE DOWN A COMPANY BY SAYING THAT. 576 00:28:56,109 --> 00:28:58,486 IS LASIK A COMPANY OR A PROCEDURE? 577 00:28:58,570 --> 00:28:58,862 >> Reggie: I DON'T KNOW. 578 00:28:58,945 --> 00:28:59,821 I DON'T KNOW. 579 00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:05,076 SHE, UH -- YEAH, NOW SHE'S HAPPY SHE DID IT. 580 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,077 GREAT QUESTION. 581 00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:07,162 >> Reggie: THAT'S -- THAT'S THE CORRECT ANSWER. 582 00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:08,830 >> James: IT'S COMPLETELY CORRECT. 583 00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:12,208 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE THANK THE ONE, THE ONLY JAMES 584 00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:13,042 MARSDEN. 585 00:29:13,126 --> 00:29:14,377 WHEN WE COME BACK, TIM MINCHIN IS HERE. 586 00:29:14,461 --> 00:29:15,879 YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT. 587 00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:17,005 COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY. 588 00:29:44,991 --> 00:29:45,909 >> James: WELCOME BACK. 589 00:29:45,992 --> 00:29:48,203 OUR NEXT GUEST IS AN UNBELIEVABLY TALENTED ACTOR, 590 00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:51,915 MUSICIAN, COMPOSER, AND WRITER WHO IS JOINING US FROM SOMEWHERE 591 00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:59,714 IN THE MIDDLE OF AUSTRALIA, THE AMAZING TIM MINCHIN! 592 00:29:59,797 --> 00:30:00,715 HE'S HERE ON THE SHOW. 593 00:30:00,798 --> 00:30:01,883 HOW ARE YOU, TIM? 594 00:30:01,966 --> 00:30:03,718 >> HI, JAMES. 595 00:30:03,801 --> 00:30:04,844 I'M PRETTY GOOD, REALLY. 596 00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:06,054 YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT. 597 00:30:06,137 --> 00:30:08,765 I'M HERE IN THE HOUSE -- >> James: WHERE ARE YOU IN THE 598 00:30:08,848 --> 00:30:09,182 WORLD RIGHT NOW? 599 00:30:09,265 --> 00:30:10,391 WHERE ARE YOU? 600 00:30:10,475 --> 00:30:16,898 >> I'M IN A LITTLE VALLEY A COUPLE OF HOURS SOUTH OF S SYDNE 601 00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:19,901 BELOW THE SOUTHERN HIGHLANDS AND I'M HERE, BASICALLY, I'M IN THE 602 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:23,905 MIDDLE OF 12 ACRES OF RAIN FOREST AND KIND OF IN A HOUSE 603 00:30:23,988 --> 00:30:28,576 BUILT IN, CLEARLY, 1981, AND, YEAH, IT'S NICE. 604 00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:36,042 CAN YOU HEAR THE CECADAS? 605 00:30:36,125 --> 00:30:36,960 >> James: I CANNOT. 606 00:30:37,043 --> 00:30:40,797 WE ARE SURROUNDED BY SCREAMING CECADAS. 607 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,590 >> James: I DON'T. 608 00:30:42,674 --> 00:30:46,052 YOU SHOULD, JAMES. 609 00:30:46,135 --> 00:30:49,013 THEIR LIFE CYCLE -- >> James: IS SHORT, I KNOW 610 00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:54,018 >> THEY SPEND SEVEN YEARS UNDERGROUND AS NYMPHS AND FEED 611 00:30:54,102 --> 00:30:57,730 ON ROOT MATTER FOR SEVEN YEARS. 612 00:30:57,814 --> 00:31:00,608 THEY COME OUT OF THE GROUND. 613 00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:04,237 THEY HAVE BEAUTIFUL WINGS, LITTLE PLATES ON THEIR ABDOMEN 614 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,989 WHICH VIBRATE AND THEY SCREAM AND THERE ARE THOUSANDS 615 00:31:06,072 --> 00:31:12,078 SCREAMING AT THE SAME TIME AND IF YOU SPEAK CECADA, WHICH I DO, 616 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:17,875 IS THEY'RE SAYING SOMEONE COME AND SHAG ME, I HAVE BEEN 617 00:31:17,959 --> 00:31:21,462 UNDERGROUND SEVEN YEARS, I'M DESPERATE FOR A SHAG! 618 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:24,132 I'M UP HERE ON A TREE! 619 00:31:24,215 --> 00:31:28,970 AND IT'S BASICALLY TINDER, AND SOMEBODY SHAGS THEM AND THEN 620 00:31:29,053 --> 00:31:30,847 THEY DIE. 621 00:31:30,930 --> 00:31:33,141 SO IT'S TOUGHER THAN BEING IN LOCKDOWN. 622 00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:36,477 >> James: ALTHOUGH I THINK THAT'S HOW A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL 623 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:37,854 LEAVE LOCKDOWN WHEN IT COMES. 624 00:31:37,937 --> 00:31:45,069 >> I THINK 2022 IS, LIKE, I WANT SOMEBODY SHAG ME! 625 00:31:45,153 --> 00:31:46,154 DEFINITELY. 626 00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:48,489 >> James: THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON THE SHOW, YOU JUST 627 00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:54,787 RELEASED YOUR AL ALBUM, "APART TOGETHER," AND IT'S BEEN THE 628 00:31:54,871 --> 00:31:56,331 MOST PHENOMENAL SUCCESS. 629 00:31:56,414 --> 00:32:00,668 IT WENT STRAIGHT TO NUMBER THREE IN THE AUSTRALIAN ALBUM CHARTS. 630 00:32:00,752 --> 00:32:02,962 DID YOU EXPECT THE ALBUM WOULD DO SO WELL COMMERCIALLY? 631 00:32:03,046 --> 00:32:04,213 >> YEAH, I DID. 632 00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:16,643 I THOUGHT, WHEN THIS COMES OUT, IT'S GOING TO BE AC/DC, BTS AND 633 00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:19,646 ME DOING THIS. 634 00:32:19,729 --> 00:32:23,816 I DON'T SEE MYSELF AS THAT SORT OF ARTIST. 635 00:32:23,900 --> 00:32:27,862 I HAVE BEEN WRITING SONGS FOR 30 YEARS AND I'VE ALWAYS BEEN 636 00:32:27,945 --> 00:32:30,990 DOWNIT'S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT MY LIVE SHOWS, YOU KNOW HOW IT 637 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:34,202 WENT, AND I WASN'T SOMEBODY THAT GOT RADIO PLAY IN THE SOUTH 638 00:32:34,285 --> 00:32:36,079 BECAUSE TO HAVE THE CONTENT IN MY SONGS AND BECAUSE THEY'RE 639 00:32:36,162 --> 00:32:40,625 STUPID AND, YES, ALTHOUGH I REALLY WANTED THIS RECORD TO BE 640 00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:46,923 OUT OF REACH OF A NEW AUDIENCE, CHARTS. 641 00:32:47,006 --> 00:32:50,426 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT CHARTS MEAN THESE DAYS, BUT THE RESPONSE HAS 642 00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:51,386 BEEN SO GORGEOUS. 643 00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:55,223 AND PEOPLE ARE BUYING THE VINYL AND STUFF. 644 00:32:55,306 --> 00:32:58,017 HOW GREAT'S THAT, THERE'S VINYL BACK IN THE WORLD? 645 00:32:58,101 --> 00:33:02,897 >> James: IT'S RICHLY DESERVED BECAUSE I THINK THE ALBUM IS 646 00:33:02,980 --> 00:33:04,190 COMPLETELY BRILLIANT. 647 00:33:04,273 --> 00:33:07,568 THE SONG YOU WILL PERFORM IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONG TITLES MAYBE 648 00:33:07,652 --> 00:33:10,071 EVER BUT CERTAINLY THAT YOU'VE COME UP WITH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT 649 00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:16,369 A FAN I AM, BUT THE SONG IS CALLED "TALKED TOO MUCH, STAYED 650 00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:16,828 TOO LONG." 651 00:33:16,911 --> 00:33:19,122 >> YEAH. 652 00:33:19,205 --> 00:33:21,749 DOES THAT RING A BELL. 653 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:25,420 >> James: TELL US WHAT THE SONG IS ABOUT AND WHERE IT CAME 654 00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:26,629 FROM. 655 00:33:26,713 --> 00:33:30,133 >> QUITE OFTEN, I FIND MYSELF WAKING UP IN THE MORNING HAVING 656 00:33:30,216 --> 00:33:32,552 BEEN OUT WITH FRIENDS OR AT A DINNER PARTY. 657 00:33:32,635 --> 00:33:34,971 I LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN DRINKING WINE WITH FRIENDS 658 00:33:35,054 --> 00:33:38,099 AROUND A DINNER PARTY AND HAVING A GOOD CHAT. 659 00:33:38,182 --> 00:33:43,104 AS YOU KNOW, I DON'T MIND A WRESTLE OVER IDEAS AND I LOVE A 660 00:33:43,187 --> 00:33:46,607 GENTLE ARGUMENT, BUT I QUITE OFTEN WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND 661 00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:53,239 SAY TO SARAH, DID I -- DO WE -- I THINK I MIGHT HAVE -- DID WE 662 00:33:53,322 --> 00:33:55,450 TALK TOO MUCH AND STAY TOO LONG? 663 00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:57,201 AND IT'S THE REFRAIN THAT MY REMORSE IN THE MORNING IS I 664 00:33:57,285 --> 00:34:00,246 SHOULD HAVE LEFT EARLIER AND JUST SHUT UP. 665 00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:02,165 AND I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GOOD EPITAPH, I SHOULD HAVE IT 666 00:34:02,248 --> 00:34:07,587 ON MY TOMBSTONE, "TALKED TOO MUCH, STAYED TOO LONG." 667 00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:11,758 AND IF I'M GOING TO HAVE IT ON MY TOMBSTONE I SHOULD TRACK ALL 668 00:34:11,841 --> 00:34:12,967 THE TIMES I'VE NOT SHUT UP. 669 00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:19,265 >> James: COMPLETELY BRILLIANT AND WE'RE SO THRILLED ANYTIME 670 00:34:19,348 --> 00:34:20,475 YOU'RE ON THE SHOW. 671 00:34:20,558 --> 00:34:21,142 PERFORMING 'TALKED TOO MUCH, STAYED TOO LONG,' THE WONDERFUL 672 00:34:21,225 --> 00:34:24,520 TIM MINCHIN! 673 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,023 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 674 00:34:27,106 --> 00:34:32,278 ♪ ♪ ♪ >> ♪ DON'T WANNA BE IN YOUR CLUB 675 00:34:32,361 --> 00:34:33,988 IF YOU'D TAKE ME AS A MEMBER ♪ I'M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY 676 00:34:34,071 --> 00:34:38,701 INTERESTED IN WHETHER ♪ I'M REMEMBERED 677 00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:42,622 I SAY ASHES TO ASHES, ♪ DUST TO DUST 678 00:34:42,705 --> 00:34:46,000 GIMME A TOMBSTONE ♪ IF YOU FEEL YOU MUST 679 00:34:46,083 --> 00:34:50,171 SAYING "HERE LIES A CLOWN ♪ WHO WROTE SOME SONGS 680 00:34:50,254 --> 00:34:55,176 HE TALKED TOO MUCH ♪ AND STAYED TOO LONG" 681 00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:57,136 BACK HOME IN PERTH I PLAYED ♪ PIANO DOWN AT CAFÉ PIAZZA 682 00:34:57,220 --> 00:35:00,640 SWALLOWING SECOND-HAND SMOKE ♪ AND SINGING STANDARDS 683 00:35:00,723 --> 00:35:03,142 BY THE MASTERS ♪ LEARNED THAT EVERY LYRIC'S 684 00:35:03,226 --> 00:35:06,562 SACRED ♪ THAT LOVE'S EVERYTHING 685 00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:08,648 AND THAT THREE DRINKS ♪ MAKE YOU STRAIGHTEN UP 686 00:35:08,731 --> 00:35:11,234 AND FOUR GET YOU SWINGIN' ♪ 'TIL MY CROWDS SCARED THE 687 00:35:11,317 --> 00:35:15,071 SUITS AWAY AND I'D ♪ PLAY MY OWN SONGS 688 00:35:15,154 --> 00:35:20,660 AND THEN WE'D TALK TOO MUCH ♪ AND STAY TOO LONG 689 00:35:20,743 --> 00:35:26,624 TALK TOO MUCH AND STAY TOO LONG ♪ DON'T WANNA BE IN YOUR CLUB IF 690 00:35:26,707 --> 00:35:28,000 TOOK MY EYELINER TO EDINBURGH ♪ IN TWENTY-OH-FIVE 691 00:35:28,084 --> 00:35:29,043 PLAYED TO 45 PAYING PUNTERS ♪ ON THE OPENING NIGHT 692 00:35:29,126 --> 00:35:32,338 BUT TO MY SURPRISE ♪ THERE WAS A RISING DEMAND 693 00:35:32,421 --> 00:35:36,592 FOR A LOVECHILD OF LIBERACE ♪ AND EDWARD SCISSORHANDS 694 00:35:36,676 --> 00:35:40,054 DUDE FROM THE PAPERS SAID ♪ THAT DIGGING ME WAS WRONG 695 00:35:40,137 --> 00:35:43,266 HE SAID I TALKED TOO MUCH ♪ AND STAYED TOO LONG 696 00:35:43,349 --> 00:35:46,060 I'VE PLAYED THE ALBERT HALL ♪ AND WEMBLEY, I'VE PLAYED 697 00:35:46,143 --> 00:35:49,105 BASEMENTS AND BARS ♪ I'VE BEEN TO HOLLYWOOD AND 698 00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:51,357 BROADWAY, MET THOSE ♪ A-LISTER STARS 699 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:55,736 I'VE SHARED CIGARETTES WITH ♪ KNIGHTS, SHOT TEQUILA WITH 700 00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,196 DAMES ♪ FOUND I'M MORE INTERESTED IN 701 00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,741 LAUGHTER THAN IN ♪ HOTNESS AND FAME 702 00:36:00,825 --> 00:36:04,704 SO LONG AS YOU GOT IRONY ♪ HONEY WE'LL GET ALONG 703 00:36:04,787 --> 00:36:09,208 WE CAN TALK TOO MUCH ♪ AND STAY WAY, WAY TOO LONG 704 00:36:09,292 --> 00:36:12,295 DON'T WANNA BE IN YOUR CLUB IF ♪ YOU'D TAKE ME AS A MEMBER 705 00:36:12,378 --> 00:36:16,716 I'M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY INTERESTED ♪ IN WHETHER I'M REMEMBERED 706 00:36:16,799 --> 00:36:20,803 I SAY ASHES TO ASHES, ♪ DUST TO DUST 707 00:36:20,887 --> 00:36:27,018 GIMME A TOMBSTONE ♪ IF YOU FEEL YOU MUST 708 00:36:27,101 --> 00:36:29,145 SAYING "HERE LIES A CLOWN ♪ WHO WROTE SOME SONGS 709 00:36:29,228 --> 00:36:39,155 HE TALKED TOO MUCH ♪ AND STAYED TOO LONG" 710 00:36:39,238 --> 00:36:48,664 ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ 711 00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:57,256 ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ 712 00:36:57,340 --> 00:37:03,137 ♪♪♪ ♪ BUT THAT "LIVE FAST DIE YOUNG" 713 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:07,642 I PLAN ON GETTING RICKETY ♪ BABY I INTEND TO STICK AROUND 714 00:37:07,725 --> 00:37:09,810 TIL' ALL YOU ARE SICK OF ME ♪ AND WHEN THEY COME TO WASH MY 715 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:12,813 OLD MAN AND FEED ME ♪ MASHED BANANA 716 00:37:12,897 --> 00:37:15,858 THEY'LL FIND ME IN THE COMMON ♪ ROOM PLAYING BLUES ON THE 717 00:37:15,942 --> 00:37:19,278 PIANO ♪ SAME OLD THREE CHORDS AND 718 00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:21,197 CLICHED IN' RUNS ♪ AND I'LL TALK TOO MUCH AND 719 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:24,784 STAY TOO LONG ♪ AND I'LL TALK TOO MUCH 720 00:37:24,867 --> 00:37:28,537 DON'T WANNA BE IN YOUR CLUB ♪ IF YOU'D TAKE ME AS A MEMBER 721 00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:32,708 I'M NOT EVEN SLIGHTLY INTERESTED ♪ IN WHETHER I'M REMEMBERED 722 00:37:32,792 --> 00:37:36,712 I SAY ASHES TO ASHES, ♪ DUST TO DUST 723 00:37:36,796 --> 00:37:40,758 GIMME A TOMBSTONE ♪ IF YOU FEEL YOU MUST 724 00:37:40,841 --> 00:37:45,012 SAYING "HERE LIES A CLOWN ♪ WHO WROTE SOME SONGS 725 00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:52,853 HE TALKED TOO MUCH ♪ AND STAYED TOO LONG" 726 00:37:52,937 --> 00:37:54,397 ANOTHER WHITE MOTHERER ♪ RAMBLING ON 727 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:55,523 HE TALKED TOO MUCH ♪ AND STAYED TOO LONG 728 00:38:12,498 --> 00:38:16,419 ♪♪♪ >> JAMES: THANK YOU SO MUCH! 729 00:38:16,502 --> 00:38:19,046 AND TIM'S ALBUM 'APART TOGETHER' IS OUT NOW. 730 00:38:19,130 --> 00:38:21,173 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK! 731 00:38:37,523 --> 00:38:38,524 >> James: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING. 732 00:38:38,607 --> 00:38:42,445 TOMORROW NIGHT -- HAILEE STEINFELD, JIM GAFFIGAN, AND 733 00:38:42,528 --> 00:38:45,031 MUSIC FROM SEVENTEEN. 734 00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:47,074 WE HOPE TO SEE YOU THEN. 735 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,159 GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY.