♪ ARE YOU READY, Y'ALL TO HAVE SOME FUN
♪ AND FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT DON'T YOU WORRY WHERE IT IS
♪ YOU COME FROM IT WILL BE ALL RIGHT
♪ IT'S THE "LATE, LATE SHOW" ♪ >> Reggie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ALL THE WAY FROM...
IS OMAHA, NEBRASKA WHERE THE STEAKS COME FROM, GIF IT UP, FOR
THE ONE, THE SINGULAR, JAMES CORDEN.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH FOR COMING
OUT.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, EVERYBODY.
HEY.
HELLO.
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW" ITS GREAT FOR
YOU TO TO BE HERE.
THANKS FOR STAYING UP WITH US LET'S SEE WHO THE GUESTS ARE ON
THE SHOW TONIGHT.
SHE'S A TALENTED EMMY-NOMINATED ACTRESS AND PRODUCER YOU KNOW
FROM "THE SINNER," "THE ILLUSIONIST," "LIMETOWN," AND SO
MUCH MORE.
THE DAZZLING, JESSICA BIEL IS HERE TONIGHT!
THERE SHE IS, HEY, JESSICA, HOW ARE YOU.
>> HEY JAMES, I'M GOOD, HOW ARE YOU.
>> IT'S VERY NICE TO SIGH.
I LIKE THIS OUTFIT.
>> OH.
>> James: WHAT ARE WE HEARING SHORTS.
AND A WEIRD TOP.
>> James: IT'S A TRIUMPH.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SAYS TO ME, AND I HAVE BEEN
WAITING FOR YOU TO COME ON THE SHOW.
DEEP DOWN I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE.
>> WHAT.
>> James: YOU HAVE KICKED OFF SUMMER.
JESSICA BIEL STARTED SUMMER.
AND WE LOVE YOU.
JESSICA BIEL, EVERYBODY AND HE'S A HILARIOUS STAND-UP
COMEDIAN AND ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "GROWN UPS," "JOE DIRT," AND
"THE WRONG MISSY."
THE ALWAYS COOL DAVID SPADE IS HERE TONIGHT!
(APPLAUSE) HEY DAVID, HOW ARE YOU.
>> YEAH!
>> James: ALL GOOD.
>> WHERE IS THAT JESSICA BIEL APPLAUSE FOR ME, WHERE IS THE
CROWD.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> YEAH.
>> James: THERE IT IS.
THERE IT IS.
DO YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE?
>> NO, I WILL WAIT UNTIL I GET OUT THERE.
I WANT THEM TO REALLY AMP IT UP, I THINK THEY WITH DO 5%.
>> James: SO NO APPLAUSE.
>> NO.
>> James: SO THEN YOU HAVE TO GO NUTS WHEN HE COMES OUT.
>> YEAH.
>> James: THAT IS WHAT HE ASKED FOR, WE LOOK AFTER GUSTS
HERE.
HE WANTS NONE NOW AND BIG WHEN HE COMES OUT OF THE CURTAIN.
HEAR ME?
OKAY.
DAVID SPADE, EVERYBODY.
AND LATER IN THE SHOW, WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM BASTILLE!
YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT.
ARE YOU READY, THEN LET'S, AND THIS, THIS IS THE "LATE, LATE
SHOW," ROLL THE TITLES.
♪ THE LATE, LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE, LATE SHOW, WOO
♪ THE LATE, LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE, LATE SHOW OH-OH
♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪ >> James: IT CERTAINLY IS.
I'M SO EXKIELT-- EXCITED JESSICA BIEL SHEER, BIG FAN.
DID YOU WATCH HER NEW SHOARKS "CANDY" SO THEY ARE SPREADING IT
OUT ACROSS THE WEEK, LIKE AN EVENTS, IT WILL BE EVERY NIGHT
ON HULU ANG TO ME I WATCH ANY SHOW THAT IS CALLED "CANDY" SO
IT TOOK ME A MINUTE TO REAL IDENTIFY THAT IT ISN'T ABOUT
CANDY.
>> IT IS DISAPPOINTING AT FIRST AND THEN ARE YOU LIKE OH WAIT T
IS STILL GOOD.
>> James: YOU CAN'T MAKE A SHOW IN AMERICA ABOUT CANDY,
BECAUSE ALL OF THE CANDY HERE SUCKS.
>> THAT IS THE REASON.
>> YOU KNOW I LOVE CANDY IN THE U.K., I CELEBRATE IT, IT IS
FANTASTIC.
WE STILL HAVE GOOD CANDY.
>> James: I DISAGREE.
>> IT'S WONDERFUL.
>> James: I DISAGREE.
GIVE ME FIVE GOOD ONES CONDITIONS SKITELS.
>> KIT KAT, BUTTER FINGERS.
>> James: OKAY, EVERYBODY CALM DOWN.
>> SNICKERS.
>> James: THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ME AND IAN.
>> KIT KAT.
>> James: DON'T THROW OUT A BUTTER FINGER.
>> KIT KAT.
>> James: I WILL COME TO YOU.
LOOK, I BELIEVE A KITT CAT IS-- CAN I TALK, A BELIEVE A KIT
KAT IS AN EXCEPTIONAL TREAT, OKAY.
EXCEPTION-- EXCEPTION HERE IN AMERICA THE CHOCOLATE SUCKS.
WHEREAS IN THE U.K. DID IS EXCEPTIONAL.
THANK YOU.
>> IT'S CRAZY THAT YOU ARE FROM ENGLAND BUT STILL SOUND LIKE YOU
STUDY ADD BROAD THERE.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
IN WHAT WAY, I DON'T.
>> JUST A VERY STUDY ADD BROAD IN ENGLAND, YOU CONDITION GET
GOOD CANDY HERE IN THE STATE, YOU KNOW, AND THEY'RE FROM
TUCSON.
>> James: I STAND BY IT.
>> MAYBE WE WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO WORK ON CANDY IF WE WEREN'T
SAVING YOUR BUTTS IN WORLD WAR TWO.
>> James: I GET T YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT,
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
GIVEN THE CHOICE, I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH, YEAH, I WILL TAKE YOU
SAVING US, YOU KNOW, IN WORLD WAR II IF YOU WOULD HOLD YOUR
HANDS UP AND GO BECAUSE OF THAT OUR CANDY SUCKS.
>> YEAH.
>> James: LOOK, WE CAN DO THIS ALL DAY, WE CAN SIT AROUND
BASKING IN WHAT'S BE HONEST IN WHAT IS WITTY REPARTEE BUT WE
CAN'T WE HAVE WORK TO DO.
THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S TIME FOR...
S S S THE NEWS.
>> James: GOOD EVENING.
GASOLINE PRICES HAVE HIT YET ANOTHER ALL-TIME HIGH.
THE NATIONAL AVERAGE PRICE FOR A GALLON OF GAS IS NOW $4.40 OR AS
WE IN LOS ANGELES CALL THAT, THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
THIS ACTUALLY WON'T AFFECT ME T DOESN'T AFFECT ME, I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU KNOW, THIS I STARTED RIDING A HORSE TO WORK, YEAH.
ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT.
YOU HAVE TO ADMIT THE TIMING IS PRETTY GOOD RIGHT AS THE
PANDEMIC RESTRICTIONS STARTED TO EASE UP, I LOVE THIS WE GOT A
BRAND NEW EXCUSE FOR NOT GOING OUT, OH, I WOULD LOVE TO IT IS
ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN AND AT THESE PRICES, YOU KNOW, AN
HERE'S SOME NEWS FROM RIGHT HERE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, LOS
ANGELES RESIDENTS ARE NOW BEING ASKED TO HELP WITH THE LOCAL
WATER SHORTAGE BY CUTTING THEIR SHOWER TIME BY FOUR MINUTES I
KNOW EVERY TIME I'M IN THE SHOWER I TIME IT FOR A MINUTE
CUT IT BY FOUR-- HOW LONG ARE PEOPLE SPENDING IN THE SHOWER.
>> THEY SAY AVERAGE TEN MINUTES.
>> STOP, NO.
>> YEAH.
>> YOU'RE JOKING ME.
>> ME NO JOKE.
>> WHAT?
>> THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.
I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
>> IF THAT IS THE AVERAGE, THAT MEANS THAT PEOPLE ARE IN THERE
FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES.
>> PROBABLY.
>> OH MY GOD.
I'M IN AND OUT I THINK IN A SOLID THREE OR FOUR.
>> IF I CUT FOUR MINUTES OFF MY SHOWER I WILL BE IN THE SHOWER
FOR NEGATIVE THREE MINUTES.
>> SO YOU ARE RIGHT, I DON'T-- HOW LONG DO YOU, I BET
CRABS ARE LONG SHOWER WITH, I BET YOU GET IN THERE I BET YOU
LATHER UP.
>> OH MAN.
>> I BET YOU GET A SOLID LATHER GOING.
>> THERE SAY REAL SYSTEM, ABOUT 125 MINUTES.
>> NO, YOU DON'T, NO, YOU DON'T.
>> NO, NOT THAT LONG.
>> FOR HOW LONGK I BET A SOLID TEN, I BET YOU DO EVERY TOE, A
BIT OF YOUR OCD COMING OUT.
>> 150 TO-- 10 TO 12, KIND OF A CARWASH APPROACH, TOP DOWN.
>> WINNIE, HOW LONG ARE YOU SHOWERING, HOW LONG IS YOUR
SHOWER.
>> SO IF I DON'T WASH MY HAIR 10 MINUTES, IF I WASH MY HAIR, IT'S
15.
>> STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR TEN-- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOUR
THREE MINUTE SHOWER IS INSANE, THAT MEANS ARE YOU NOT
SHOWERING, COME ON.
>> James: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE.
>> WHO DO YOU MEAN.
>> James: I'M TRYING TO THINK WHAT I DO IN THERE FOR TEN
MINUTES.
>> IF YOU PRIDE YOURSELF ON NOT USING SOAP.
>> SHAMPOO.
>> James: I USE SOAP, I DONE WASH MY HAIR, I WASH IT ABOUT
EVERY TWO MONTHS.
>> YEAH.
>> THAT'S NOT TRUE, YOU GUYS ARE DIRTY.
>> NO, WE NASTY.
>> James: I DON'T THINK WE ARE NASTY.
>> YOU ARE NASTY.
>> James: I DON'T THINK WE'RE NASTY.
WHO HERE, SHOW OF HANDS, WHEN YOU SHOWER, ARE SHOWERING FOR
OVER 9 MINUTES.
SEE, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.
WE ARE TROYING TO PROTECT THE PLANET, WINNIE, YOU KNOW WHAT,
THERE IS NO PLANET FEE, YEAH.
>> I WILL BE READY FOR T DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT.
>> AND DID EVERYONE HEAR ABOUT THIS, ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT
EARLY ON IN HIS PRESIDENCY, DONALD TRUMP REPEATEDLY ASKED
NATIONAL SECURITY AIDS IF CHINA HAD A SECRET QUOTE HURRICANE GUN
TO LAUNCH MANMADE HURRICANES AT THE UNITED STATES.
YOU HATE TO SEE T YOU HATE TO SEE STORIES LIKE THIS.
LEAK OUT AND TARNISH AN OTHERWISE IMPECCABLE RECORD.
TRUMP ASKED IF CHINA HAD A SECRET HURRICANE GUN, WHICH IS
RIDICULOUS F IT WERE A SECRET HE AIDES WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT T
THINK IT THROUGH.
AND I GOT TO TELL YOU THIS, AN ERA HAS OFFICIALLY COME TO AN
END AFTER NEARLY 22 YEAR, APPLE IS DISCONTINUING PRODUCTION.
iPOD.
I HOPE APPLE CAN RECOVER FROM THIS.
FOR ANY YOUNG PEOPLE WATCHING, AN iPOD IS BAISM LIKE A PHONE
THAT CAN'T PHONE ANYONE T IT ONLY PLAYS MUSIC.
BUT YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT MUSIC FIRST, OKAY.
OR YOU CAN USE NAPSTER BUT NOT THE NAPSTER THEY GOT NOW, IT SAY
DIFFERENT NAPSTER THAT WAS ILLEGAL, BASICALLY IT IS FREE
SPOTIFY, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW HARD IT IS TO DESCRIBE AN
IPOD.
BUT NOW THAT IT'S FULLY DISCONNED THAT MEANS WE ARE
ABOUT THREE YEARS AWAY FROM GEN Z HIPSTERS ONLY LISTENING TO
MUSIC ON iPODS.
I CAN REMEMBER VIVIDLY THE FIRST TIME I SAW AN iPOD.
ROB BRIDEEN, SHOWED ME HIS IPOD.
AND IT BLEW MY MIND.
CUZ I STOOD THERE WITH A-- AND A CASE LOGIC THAT WAS LIKE THIS
BIG WITH 50CD'S IN ITER AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT I WAS LIKE
WAIT, ALL OF THIS IS IN THERE.
YEAH A THOUSAND SONGS.
>> IT WAS AMAZING.
I HAD THE WEIRDEST STUFF ON MINE BECAUSE WHEN NAPSTER FIRST CAME
OUT AND IT WAS A FREE FOR ALL, I DOWNLOADED LIKE FEATURES, I WAS
LIKE DO YOU WANT TO HERE-- GIVE A SPEECH, I HAVE HAD.
>> I NEVER USED NAPSTER, NAPSTER NEVER REALLY BECAME A KID, NOT
FOR ME AT HOME BUT I DID SPEND HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS
PUTTING EVERY CD I OWNED ON THERE WHICH WAS POINTLESS CUZ I
WOULD JUST LISTEN THE SAME THREE ALL THE TIME.
I WAS NEVER LISTENING TO THAT.
>> DOES 98 DEGREES ONLY HAVE THREE CD'S?
(LAUGHTER) I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAS GOT INTO
YOU TODAY BUT YOU KNOW AND I KNOW IT WAS O-TOWN AND THEY HAD
TWO ALBUMS AND THEY-- THANK YOU, MADAME.
AND FINALLY WE ABSOLUTELY HAD TO SHOW I THIS, AN ORDER OF FISH
AND CHIPS IN THE U.K. IS GOING VIRAL YVMENT WOULD AN ORDER OF
FISH AND CHIPS GO VIRAL, I HEAR YOU ASK, SEE IF YOU CAN FIGURE
IT OUT.
>> LOOK AT THAT.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MINE LOOKS LIKE INCLUDING A BED OF CHIPS.
IT'S TRUE THE FISH AND CHIPS WENTS VIRAL, LUCKILY THERE'S
MEDICINE FOR THAT.
CAN WE SEE THE PLATE AGAIN?
I LIKE THAT HE REALLY MIXED IT UP.
CHIP, MEDIUM SIZE, CARD, CIRCUMCISED, THAT'S THE NEWS,
WE'LL BE BACK.
>> James: LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS TONIGHT, SHE STARS IN
CANDY.
PLEASE WELCOME THE PHENOMENAL JESSICA BIEL.
>> IT'S JESSICA BIEL, FOR REAL.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU, SO NICE TO SEE YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE, HAVE A SEAT.
HIS NETFLIX COMEDY SPECIAL IS CALLED "NOTHING PERSONAL."
PLEASE WELCOME DAVID SPADE!
>> Reggie: DAVID SPADE.
>> HEY.
>> James: HAVE A SEAT.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU, THANKS FOR COME OG UP.
I LOVE YOU BOTH, VERY, VERY MUCH, I'M THRILLED THAT YOU ARE
BOTH HERE, JESSICA, LET'S STARTS HERE, YOU AND INJURE HUSBAND,
WHAT DAY DID YOU GET MARRIED.
>> OCTOBER 19th.
>> James: SO WE WERE IN SEPTEMBER, BUT WE ARE BOTH
COMING UP ON TEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE.
>> OKAY, YEAH.
>> James: TALK TO ME, I DON'T THINK I KNOW THIS STORY, HOW DID
HE PROPOSE TO YOU?
>> IT WAS SO NICE AND SO SWEET AND SO UNEXPECTED, HI NO IDEA.
WE WERE IN MONTANA ON A PIECE OF PROPERTY THAT WE OWNED AT THE
TIME.
WE HAD SNOWBOARDED ALL DAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WINTER.
WASTE HIGH SNEE,-- SNOW, HEAD TO TOE SNOWBOARDING OUT, HATS,
GLOVES EVERYTHING AND WE GO UP TO THE TOP TO CHECK OUT HOW THE
FOUNDATION SLOOKING AND ALL THIS STUFF.
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN HE GETS DOWN ON TO HIS KNEES AND JUST SINKS
INTO THE SNOW.
AND THEN HE-- PULLS OUT THIS RING AND IT WAS THE MOST LOVELY
SURPRISING-- .
>> James: YOU HAD NO IDEA IT WAS COMING.
>> HILARIOUS, NO, NO.
>> James: BOLD TO GO SKIING WITH A RING IN YOUR POCKET.
THAT IS NOT A DECISION I WOULD MAKE.
THAT CAN ONLY BACK FIRE.
>> I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
>> James: THAT IS ONLY IF YOU ARE SOME KIND OF MAVERICK.
>> WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.
>> James: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YOU KNOW.
>> I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I HAD THIS HUGE
GLOVE ON, SO I WAS RIPPING A GLOVE OFF.
>> James: FOR THE FIRST TIME I'M QUESTIONING JUSTIN
TIMBERLAKE, NOW I THINK ABOUT T I THINK IT SAY NUT WAY TO
PROPOSE.
>> THAT IS JUST CONFIDENCE, I GUESS.
>> James: WELL, HE IS NOT LACKING IN CONFIDENCE, THAT IS
WHY WE LOVE THE CHAP.
NOW DAVID, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS, YOU POSTED THIS
PHOTO, YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER, HARPER, AT A PARTY.
I'M GUESSING BECAUSE OF THE OPENNESS OF YOUR SHIRT IT WAS
LIKE A 70S THEMED PARTY?
WOULD THAT BE RIGHT?
WOULD THAT BE ACCURATE?
>> NO, I'M 70.
>> James: OKAY.
>> BUT THIS SHIRT SITUATION IS, WE WERE GOING FROM THE DAY TIME
BAR-- BAR MITZVAH TO THE NIGHT TIME RAGER AND I TOOK OFF MY
COAT AND MY MOM GOES WHERE'S THE PICTURE.
AND SO I GO HARPER, WE HAVE STO DO IT AGAIN, BUT I PUT THE COAT
ON AND STARTED TO TAKE THE SHIRT OFF, SO IT WASN'T REALLY ON
PURPOSE, AND BELIEVE ME I GOT A LOT OF SLACK ON INSTAGRAM ABOUT
IT.
>> James: THERE WAS A FANCY BAR MISS HAVE.
>> SANDLER.
>> James: ADAM SANDLER DAUGHTER'S BAR MITZVAH.
>> ADAM'S DAUGHTER BAR MITZVAH, I WENT TO THE OTHER ONE, I TOOK
MY DAUGHTER HARPER, SHE LIVES IN THE MIDWEST, SHE WAS TEN AT THE
LAST ONE, IS NOW SHE IS 134.
BY ALL THE OTHER GIRLS ARE LIKE BETWEEN 13 AND 16.
AND SHE IS LIKE, YOU KNOW, JUST FROM MIDWEST AND THEY ARE ALL
LIKE FROM EUPHORIA, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> OH MY GOD.
>> THEY LOOK 28, THEY'RE ALL LIKE RUNNING AROUND LIKE-- ARE
THESE THE KIDS?
AND SO THEY'RE RUNNING AROUND AND THERE IS SOME CELEB TYPES
AND THEN SHE, YOU KNOW, SHE KIND OF IS PRETTY COOL ABOUT IT AND
GOES SHE DOESN'T CARE.
AND THEN SHE SAW JENNIFER AN ISES TON AND SHE FREAKED OUT IT
WAS VERY CUTE TO SEE HER GET EXCITED ABOUT SOMEONE.
SO SHE GOES JENNIFER ANISTON, SHE GOT A PICTURE, WHAT SO NICE
TO HER.
AND I SAID I'M A PRETTY BIG DEAL, AND SHE GOES WHAT DO YOU
DO, SHE KIND OF FLAT LINE, I WAS IN GROWNUPS AND SHE GOES YEAH,
AND I GO WELL THAT'S A PRETTY BIG ONE, SHE GOES YEAH, IF YOU
SAY SO.
OKAY.
IT'S ON PBS ALL THE TIME SHE GOES OOH.
>> THAT IS THE RIGHT RESPONSE.
THAT IS THE RIGHT RESPONSE IF YOU ARE SAY STG ON TBS ALL THE
TIME.
>> I KNOW, I REALIZE THAT.
>> James: THAT IS THE RIGHT RESPONSE.
>> BUT THEN I TRIED TO SHE HER CLIPS OF HER STUFF BUT SHE WAS
FINE-- SO YEAH, IT WAS REALLY FUN JUST THE WHOLE SHIN DIG AND
YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE HALSEY AND CHARLEY PLUTZ.
>> James: THIS IS WHY HAVE I TO GO TO LOSS ANGLOS ANG LESS MY
KIDS ARE GOING TO LIKE, WE'RE STILL LIKE YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO
NORTHBOUND THE PARK WITH A PIZZA.
>> YOUR KIDS ARE GOING TO FIGURE OUT YOU'RE RICH.
IF NOT I'M TELLING THEM.
BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE WHY IS HARRY STYLES AT OUR HOUSE EVERY
DAY AND MEGAN MARKLE AND YOU ARE LIKE.
>> YOU DO NEED TO GET OUT OF L.A HE IS GOING TO OUT YOU.
>> James: YOU HAVE GOT TWO SONS.
ARE YOU STRICTER WITH YOUR CHILDREN THAN YOUR PARENTS WERE
WITH YOU?
>> WERE YOU YOUR PARENTS STRICT?
DID THEY KEEP YOU ON A TIGHT LEASH?
>> I MEAN IN SOME WAYS, YES.
AND IN SOME WAYS NO.
I GREW UP WITH, I GREW UP WITH AN INDOOR TRAMPOLINE IN MY
LIVING ROOM.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> SO NOT REALLY ON SOME LEVEL AND THEN YOU KNOW LIKE A BEER AT
A PARTY WAS A HARD NO.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> SO I DIDN'T GET IN TROUBLE FOR JUMPING FROM THE SECOND
STORY ON TO THE TRAMPOLINE AND SWAN DIVING TOO THE HOUSE BUT I
DID GET IN TROUBLE WHEN I ROLLED IN AT HOME AND TRIED TO GUP THE
STAIR WAS SAYING I HAD TO YOUR MOM, GOOD NIGHT, AND AS FAST AS
YOU CAN, BREATHE IN, BREATHE.
>> AND I'M LIKE-- SHE'S LIKE YOU'RE OUT.
AND THEN SHE DOES THE THING OF LIKE WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER GETS
HOME THEN I'M IN MY ROOM IN A PUDDLE BECAUSE THE
DISAPPOINTMENT IS WORSE THAN ANYTHING.
>> James: YEAH, IT IS, YEAH T IS.
WHEN MY MOM SAID WAIT TILL YOUR DAD GETS HOME, I WENT UPSTAIRS
AND SAT IN MY ROOM FOR AN HOUR SO TERRIFIED AND I HEARD THE
DOOR GO, SHUT, AND IT WENT AND I GOT THE BIBLE.
I GOT A CHILDREN'S BIBLE AND I OPENED IT ON THE BED AND I LAY
ON THE BED AND DAD CAME IN AND I WENT OH HEY, DAD.
>> SO GOOD.
I DIDN'T HAVE A BIBLE AROUND.
>> James: WHAT ABOUT YOU, WERE YOUR PARENTS VERY HANDS ON WHAT
WAS IT LIKE IN YOUR HOUSE?
>> NO, WHEN MY MOM SAID WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD GETS HOME, WE
WAITED ABOUT 12 YEARS.
I SAID I'VE GOT SOME TIME.
BUT MY DAD SORT OF SPLIT WHEN I WAS FOUR.
BUT I NEVER-- IT'S HARD TO BE A SINGLE MOM BECAUSE THERE WERE
THREE BOYS AND WE WERE ALL LIKE IN ARIZONA.
AND SHE'S WORKING ALL THE TIME.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
BACK THEN IT WAS A LITTLE LOOSER.
AND SOMETIMES IF SHE COULDN'T FIND THE NEIGHBOR OR A SITTER WE
WOULD, IT SOUNDS BAD NOW BUT SHE WOULD DROP US AT THE END OF THE
DESERT WITH OUR GUNS AND THEN PICK US UP SEVEN MILES AWAY AT A
CHEVRON WHEN.
>> James: SEVEN MILES AWAY WELL A CHEVRON.
>> SO WE WOULD HAVE A LUNCH, EACH HAD A GUN, BULLETS AND BACK
TEEN IN CASE EVERYTHING WENT WRONG.
>> SOUNDS LIKE ITS GOOD OLD DAYS.
>> AND BY THE WAY, WHEN IT WORKED, IT'S GREAT.
>> James: ABSOLUTELY.
>> NEVER HAD A PROBLEM.
SO IT WAS LIKE SHOOT RATTLESNAKE, DO WHATEVER.
AND THEN LOOKING BACK, THEY WOULDN'T DO THAT TODAY.
I MEAN THE WAY-- YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A HELICOPTER PARENT STRKS
JUST PROBABLY NOT A GREAT IDEA.
>> James: NOW JESSICA, WE GOT TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR
BRILLIANT SNU SHOW CANDY, BASE ODD BE A TRUE STORY.
FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T CAUGHT T TELL US WHAT IT IS ABOUT AND WHO
YOU PLAY.
>> OKAY, SO I PLAY THIS WOMAN NAMED CANDY MONTH GOM REE SET IN
1980, WILEY TEXAS, SHE IS A SUBURBAN HOUSEWIFE GOD FEARING
PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY, BELOVED BY EVERYONE, COUPLE KIDS, GREAT
MARRIAGE OR SEEMINGLY SO, NORMAL PERSON AND ONE MORNING AT 10
A.M. ON A FRIDAY SHE COMMITS A HORRIFIC ACT OF VIOLENCE AGAINST
ONE OF HER GOOD FRIENDS.
AND THEN GOES THROUGH THE WHOLE SITUATION IN THE COURTS AND HAS
A CRAZY OUTCOME.
SO IT IS A FASCINATING TRUE STORY WITH COMPLEX FEMALE
CHARACTERS AND IT WAS EXCITING.
I REALLY LOVED SHOW.
>> IS IT A FIVE PART SNER.
>> YEAH, A FIVE EPISODES.
>> I'M SORRY, LOOK WHAT I KNOW.
>> LIMITEDDED.
>> FANCY PANTS.
>> James: A FIVE PARTER THAT IS STRIPPED ACROSS THE WEEK,
EACH EPISODE DROPS ON THE DAY WHICH I REALLY, REALLY LOVE THAT
THEY HAVE DONE T THIS SLOW IS BRILLIANT, LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP
FROM CANDY STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON HULU.
>> IT'S BEEN A LARD WEEK.
>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
>> WAY.
>> OKAY.
>> James: STICK AROUND, MORE WITH THESE TWO WHEN WE COME
BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> WELCOME BACK, JESSICA BIEL AND DAVID SPADE ARE HERE, DAVID
YOU'RE BRILLIANT NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL IS CALLED NOTHING
PERSONAL.
>> YEAH.
>> James: WE THOUGHT WE WOULD PLAY A LITTLE GAME CALLED
SOMETHING PERSONAL OKAY, THE WAY THIS WORKS IS
SIMPLE.
THESE THREE FINE PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
PERSONAL ABOUT THEMSELVES.
TWO OF THEM ARE LYING, AND ONE OF THEM IS TELLING THE TRUTH.
HAVING BRIEFLY CROSS-EXAMINED THEM, IT'S GOING TO BE YOUR JOB
TO WORK OUT WHO IS TELLING THE TRUTH.
LET'S' HEAR WHAT EACH OF THEM HAVE HAS TO TELL YOU.
LET'S START WITH YOU, MOLLY.
>> HI, I'M MOLLY, AND I ONCE DURING A JOB INTERVIEW PEED
MYSELF JESS ONCE DURING A YB CERTIFICATE INTERVIEW PEE DD HER
SCEF.
>> HI, I'M ANDREW AND ONCE I MADE A MOWLD MUCH MY PENIS AS A
GIFT.
>> THANK YOU, ANDREW AND FINALLY MELVIN.
>> HI, I'M MELVIN AND I ONCE LOST MY UNCLE'S ASHES.
YOU LOST YOUR UNCLE'S ASHES, OKAY.
DAVID, YOUR FIRST THOUGHT, DAVID WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, IS
THERE ANYONE YOU WANT TO QUESTION PARTICULARLY?
>> YOUNG MAN IN THE MIDDLE S THAT TURQUOISE?
>> TELL US THE WHOLE STORY.
>> I WAS IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP AND I WANTED TO GET
HER A GIFT SO THAT, TO TAKE CARE OF HER NEEDS OR WHATEVER.
SO I BOUGHT A KIT THAT YOU COULD MOWLD TO MAKE OF YOURSELF THAT
WAS LIKE A USABLE TOY.
AND SO WHEN-- THE INSTRUCTIONS SAY THAT YOU NEEDED TO BE
AROUSED FOR 25 MINUTES.
>> YOU ARE SERIOUS.
>> FOR 25 MINUTES.
>> IS THAT POSSIBLE?
>> NOT FOR ME, LIKE I'M GOOD BUT NOT THAT GOOD.
>> CERAMIC, CLAY.
>> NO.
>> WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT.
>> IT WAS LIKE A COMPANY WHERE YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN BLEEP
BLEEP.
>> OKAY.
>> >> James: HOW MUCH DOES THIS
COST?
>> IT WAS-- I GOT THE MORE EXPENSIVE ONE THERE ARE
DIFFERENT MODELS.
(LAUGHTER) >> WHAT IS.
>> I GOT THE ONE THE EXPENSIVE ONES BECAUSE IT WAS BIGGER.
>> I GOT THE MORE EXPENSIVE ONE BECAUSE I GUESS IT HAD BETTER
MATERIALS LIKE COULD YOU MAKE IT IN DIFFERENT WAYS LIKE YOU COULD
ADD SPARKLES OR LIKE.
>> SO ST USABLE.
>> SO IT IS USABLE.
>> James: SO IT IS A USABLE.
>> USABLE.
>> James: DID IT GET USED?
>> IT ACTUALLY DIDN'T BECAUSE WE DIDN'T DOT INSTRUCTIONS
CORRECTLY IT KIND OF FELL APART.
>> IT CRUMBLES.
>> YOUR WEINER DID OR-- TOO MUCH ON THIS GUY, WE HAVE TO SPREAD
IT AROUND.
>> TELL US YOUR STORY, TELL US ABOUT YOUR JOB INTERVIEW AND YOU
PEEED YOUR PANTS.
>> IT WAS THE SUMMER AFTER I JUST MOVED HOME FROM COLLEGE AND
I WAS LOOKING FOR A JOB AND I WASN'T HAVING A LOT OF LUCK AND
MY MOM HAD MENTIONED TO SOME LADIES AT MY CHURCH GROUP, HE
SAID OKAY I SET UP AN INFORMATIONAL MEETING WITH YOU,
FOR YOU TO GO HAVE LUNCH WITH THIS LADY TO I WENT TO
FRIENDLIES, LIKE A DINER.
AND WE'RE HAVING OUR INTERVIEW AND CHATS AND CHATS AND I'M LIKE
POUNDING WATERS POUNDING WATERS AND AT SOME POINT I WAS LIKE I
REALLY HAVE TO PEE.
THIS LADY SAID SOMETHING FUNNY, AND WAY LAUGHING AND YOU KNOW
WHEN YOU LAUGH AND LET A LITTLE BIT OF PEE OUT, AND I JUST
LAUGHED AND LET A LOT OF A BIT OF PEE OUT AND WAS SITTING
LIKE-- .
>> James: WHAT WERE YOU WEARING.
>> WELL, I WAS GOING TO WEAR JEANS BECAUSE IT WAS JUST
INFORMATIONAL AND MY MOM IS LIKE YOU CAN'T GO OUT OF THE HOUSE IN
JEANS.
SO I WAS WEARING CHAKIES AND SITTING LIKE ON AN ACRYLIC, LIKE
A DINER BENCH SO IT IS NOT LIKE A FABRIC THAT MAYBE WOULD
HELP-- LIKE-- .
>> AND.
>> DID YOU GET IT.
>> I GOT AND TOOK THE JOB.
>> James: OH, WOW, ALL RIGHT.
>> CHURCH LADY FOR YOU.
>> James: MELVIN, TELL US ABOUT LOSING THE ASHES.
>> SO A FEW YEARS AGO MY UNCLE PASSED AWAY T WAS A LARD TIME
FOR THE FAMILY.
AND WE HAD A SERVICE, AND FOR SOME REASON I WAS GIVEN THE TASK
TO HOLD THE ASHES.
NOT SURE WHY BUT HI THE ASHES AND THE WHOLE SERVICE VERY HAPPY
ABOUT THAT, AND MY MOTHER HAD A PARTY FOR THE POST SERVICE PARTY
AT HER HOUSE.
I SAID LET ME GET THERE FIRST AND MAKE SURE ALL IS WELL AND
GET THRERLEE.
SO I GO TO THE HOUSE, GET THERE ITS EARN IS IN-- UNIS IN MY
HANDS, GOING DOWN THE GARDEN, I'M CLUMSY, YOU KNOW, SO I
TRIPPED, LOST MY BALANCE, AND THE ASHES JUST SPILLED
EVERYWHERE.
ALL OVER THE GROUND, THEN THE WIND STARTED BLOWING, THE ASHES
ROSE UP.
GOT IN MY FACE, GOT IN MY MOUTH, I AM LIKE OH LORD.
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
WHAT DO I DO.
YOU KNOW, AND IF DNED ON ME HIGH THA MY DAD SAY COOK, SO I GO
INSIDE THE HOUSE,K THE BACK OF THE HOUSE BY HIS GRILL, I OPENED
THE GRILL, AND I POURED THE CARCOAL AND DIRT INTO THE UN.
I KNOW, DON'T JUDGE ME, DON'T JUDGE ME.
>> James: SO WHEN THEY SCATTERED THE ASHES, IT WAS JUST
CHARCOAL FROM YOUR DAD'S GRILL.
>> THAT IS CORRECT.
>> James: WOW.
OKAY.
ANY FOLLOWUP QUESTIONS YOU WANT TO KNOW HERE?
>> YOU HAVE EVER TOLD THAT STORY BEFORE?
>> MY COUSINS, ONLY HE KNOWS.
>> UNTIL TODAY.
>> IF IT'S TRUE.
>> IT'S TRUE, YES.
>> WELL, ALL THESE SOUND TRUE.
>> James: THEY ALL SOUND TRUE.
>> THESE GUYS ARE GOOD.
>> James: VERY, VERY GOOD.
>> I WOULD HIRE ALL OF YOU IN A SHOW, ABSOLUTELY.
>> James: IT IS TIME TO MAKE A CHOICE, SO ONE OF THESE THREE IS
TELLING THE TRUTH.
IS IT MOLLY, IS IT ANDREW, OR IS IT MELVIN, WHAT DO YOU THINK.
>> I DON'T KNOW, OUR FIRST INSTINCT WAS THE WEINER BUT I
GUESS THAT WAS THE FIRST THING WE HEARD.
I MEAN THE ASHES STORY IS ALSO, I JUST DON'T KNOW-- I
JUST-- WOULD YOU TELL IT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION BECAUSE YOUR
WHOLE FAMILY IS GOING TO COME DOWN ON YOU.
>> THEY DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW SO--
(LAUGHTER) >> WE HAVE TO MAKE A CALL.
>> WE HAVE TO PICK.
>> James: NO, YOU'VE GOT TO PICK, IT IS UP TO YOU TWO, WHO
IS TELLINGS THE TRUTH S IT MOLLY, ANDREW OR MELVIN, WHO IS
GOING GOING TO BE.
>> ANDREW, RIGHT.
>> DO YOU THINK ANDREW.
>> WE'RE GOING ANDREW.
>> WILL THE PERSON TELLING THE TRUTH PLEASE STEP FORWARD.
>> James: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY INCEDABLE. THEY WERE GOOD.
>> WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RELATIONSHIP?
>> ACTUALLY WE'RE MARRIED NOW SO-- .
>> James: OH MY GOSH THAT WAS SOMETHING PERSONAL, WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> I FLEW HERE ON A, I'M GOING TO SAY SOUTHWEST.
>> SOUTHWEST IS KIND OF A CRUMBY AIRLINE, THEY, FIRST OF ALL, I
HAVE FLOWN THEM FOR YEARS, YOU KNOW.
BUT WHEN I GO IN THE TERMINAL, I'M NOT EVEN A QUARTER MILE AWAY
AND THEY ARE LIKE WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
BEFORE YOU GET ON BOARD WE HAVE TO CLEAN THE AIRCRAFT.
IT A LITTLE ONE, FEBRUARY REZ, THEY GO-- ALL RIGHT, BRING THEM
OPK BRING ON THE CATTLE AND IT IS LITERALLY EVERYONE, NUMBER 1
THROUGH 1,000, THAT'S ME, YOU KNOW, LIKE ELECTRIC FOOTBALL,
EVERYONE JUST SMASHING INTO EACH OTHER.
THAT WAS A CLIP FROM DAVID SPADE NOTHING PENNAL, ON RIGHT NOW
CONGRATS, DAVID, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE
SPECIAL.
IN THE CLIP, YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT AIRPLANE TRAVEL.
YOU'VE BEEN FLYING A LOT FOR THE TOUR-- DO PEOPLE LEAVE YOU ALONE
AT THE AIRPORT?
THEY PRETTY MUCH LEAVE ME ALONE, THE MASKS HELPED A LITTLE BIT,
IN THAT SPECIAL EVERYONE HAD A MASK, N95 SO IT WAS A LITTLE
TOUGH BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY ARE LAUGHING EXCEPT
NOW AND THEN WHEN THEY ARE TRYING TO GET AIR THEY GO-- AND
I GO OH THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE BACK, USE THOO.
BUT WHEN WE GOT ON THE PLANE, AND GOES ON THE ROAD, YOU KNOW
WHAT IN IS, SOMETHING YOU MIGHT RUN INTO THIS, SOMETIMES PEOPLE,
THERE IS OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE WANT SELFIES AND ALL THIS STUFF, THAT
IS FINE, FANS ARE GREAT, BUT THE ONES THAT AREN'T FANS, THEY GET
INTO SOME AIRPORTS, I DIDN'T KNOW THIS.
SO YOU ARE JUST WALKING BY STARBUCKSS DAVID, DAVID.
OH NO, INSIDE?
>> AND I DON'T LIKE THAT THEY HAVE MY ITINERARY, YOU KNOW WHAT
I MEAN STAWCIALTION AWKWARD WHERE I GO ALL RIGHT, I WILL
SIGN ONE, BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT FANS, THEY JUST-- BIG FAN, NO,
AND ALL THESE THINGS STAP ELED AND THEY HAVE THEIR OWN PEN FOR
EACH ONE, THEY ARE ALL PRO, THEY DON'T WANT THEIR NAME ON IT I
START DOING IT AND THEY SCREAM TO DO MORE, I GO GUISE, THESE
ARE WHAT, $7 EACH ON eBAY, LET'S HE BE HONEST T IS 12 IN
GAS TO THE GET TO THE AIRPORT, WHAT ARE WE DOING.
THE.
>> THE MATH OF THIS DOESN'T WORK OUT AND THEN THEY GET MAD AND
THEY FOLLOW YOU TO THE LUGGAGE AND FOLLOW YOU TO YOUR CAR AND
RACE TO THE HOT TOLL BEAT YOU.
AND I'M LIKE WHAT IS THIS, SURPRISE, SAME IDIOTS, I KNOW
WHO YOU ARE.
WHY DO YOU KNOW WHERE I AM.
SO I DON'T LIKE THAT PART.
BUT OTHER THAN THAT, THE ROAD IS FUN.
GREAT CROWDS.
BIG THEATER TOUR, AND IT HAS BEEN REALLY FUN TO GET OUT
THERE.
AND DO IT.
>> James: REGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR ANY OF OUR GUESTS.
>> Reggie: YES, I DO, JAMES, TONIGHT'S QUESTION GOES TO ALL
OF OUR GUESTS HERE THIS EVENING.
SOME OF YOU GUYS KNOW THERE SAY DIFFERENT TEMPERATURE FLUBBING
YAITION DEPENDING ON ELEVATION WHERE YOU LIVE WHAT IS YOUR
FAVORITE ELEVATION.
>> THAT SAY REALLY GOOD ONE, I'M FROM MILE HIGH STATE SO I AM ALL
ABOUT ELEVATION AND I CURRENTLY LIVE AT ABOUT 6900 FEET.
SO I LIKE THAT.
>> 69-- HAVE I A LEGAL, I'M OKAY WITH SEA LEVEL, I'M OLD SCHOOL.
>> James: GOOD AT SEA LEVEL.
>> THOSE ARE CORRECT ANSWERS.
>> James: THEY ARE BOTH ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
PLEASE THANK JESSICA BIEL, DAVID SPADE, BAS TEEL ARE HERE WHEN WE
COME-- BASTILLE ARE HERE WHEN WE COME BACK.
>> James: WELCOME BACK, HERE PERFORM
HERE PERFORMING THE TITLE TRACK FROM THEIR CHART-TOPPING ALBUM,
"GIVE ME THE FUTURE," WHICH IS OUT NOW, PLEASE WELCOME
BASTILLE!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I GOT TWO OPEN EYES NOW I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE
♪ HAPPY IN MY SECOND LIFE HEADSET ON
♪ I COULD BE ANYTHING LET ME BE YOUR MIDAS KING
♪ THINK OF ALL THE JOY I'D BRING TOUCHING EVERYTHING
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I'VE BEEN
TRYNA CATCH A FEVER DREAM ♪ IN THE DESERT
GIVE ME DEEP BLUE SEA ♪ WE AIN'T NOTHING BUT
THE THINGS WE'VE SEEN ♪ PLUG ME IN
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ SO GIVE ME THE FUTURE
IT'S GOLDEN AND BRIGHT ♪ CATCH A FEVER DREAM
IN THE FLASH OF THE LIGHTS ♪ NOW NOTHING IS CERTAIN
AND THE SONG ISN'T DONE ♪ BUT NEW MELODIES
RISE UP WITH THE SUN ♪ GIVE ME THE FUTURE
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ SUDDENLY FOUND MY FEET
DREAMING OF ELECTRIC SHEEP ♪ JUST A LITTLE SPACE TO BREATHE
FEELING JOY SERENE ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I'VE BEEN TRYNA CATCH A FEVER DREAM
♪ IN THE DESERT GIVE ME DEEP BLUE SEA
♪ WE AIN'T NOTHING BUT THE THINGS WE'VE SEEN
♪ PLUG ME IN ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ SO GIVE ME THE FUTURE IT'S GOLDEN AND BRIGHT
♪ CATCH A FEVER DREAM IN THE FLASH OF THE LIGHTS
♪ NOW NOTHING IS CERTAIN AND THE SONG ISN'T DONE
♪ BUT NEW MELODIES RISE UP WITH THE SUN
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I TASTED
ENDLESS LOVE THAT TAKES CONTROL ♪ ENDLESS LOVE AND I WANTED MORE
SO GIVE ME THE FUTURE ♪ I TASTED
ENDLESS LOVE THAT TAKES CONTROL ♪ ENDLESS LOVE AND I WANTED MORE
JUST GIVE ME THE FUTURE ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ WHY WOULD WE LEAVE?
WHY WOULD WE LEAVE?
♪ MILES AND MILES OF FAKE BEAUTY
♪ IT'S GOOD FOR YOU IT'S GOOD FOR ME
♪ WHY WOULD WE LEAVE?
WHY WOULD WE LEAVE, UH ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ SO GIVE ME THE FUTURE IT'S GOLDEN AND BRIGHT
♪ CATCH A FEVER DREAM IN THE FLASH OF THE LIGHTS
♪ NOW NOTHING IS CERTAIN AND THE SONG ISN'T DONE
♪ BUT NEW MELODIES RISE UP WITH THE SUN
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ I TASTED
ENDLESS LOVE THAT TAKES CONTROL ♪ ENDLESS LOVE AND I WANTED MORE
SO GIVE ME THE FUTURE ♪ I TASTED
ENDLESS LOVE THAT TAKES CONTROL ♪ ENDLESS LOVE AND I WANTED MORE
CATCH A FEVER DREAM ♪ IN THE FLASH OF THE LIGHTS
♪ ♪ ♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> James: BASTILLE, EVERYONE!
YOU CAN CATCH THEM ON TOUR STARTING MAY 14.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
>> James: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO FOR WATCHING.
TOMORROW NIGHT, NIECY NASH AND PAUL DOWNS WILL BE HERE, AND
WE'LL HAVE MUSIC FROM SMASHING PUMPKINS.
WE ARE HOPE TO SEE YOU THEN, REGGIE, TAKE US HOME.