1 00:00:08,034 --> 00:00:10,000 ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW-OH-OH THE LATE LATE SHOW WOO! 2 00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:23,827 ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW-OH-HO THE LATE LATE SHOW-OH-OH! 3 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:35,241 James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO 4 00:00:35,275 --> 00:00:37,931 "THE LATE LATE SHOW." HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY. 5 00:00:37,965 --> 00:00:40,965 THANKS FOR BEING HERE. LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS ON THE 6 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:45,000 SHOW TONIGHT. HE'S A TALENTED ACTOR YOU KNOW 7 00:00:45,034 --> 00:00:48,241 FROM "BIG LITTLE LIES," "PARKS AND RECREATION," AND "PARTY 8 00:00:48,275 --> 00:00:52,482 DOWN," THE ALWAYS HANDSOME, ADAM SCOTT! 9 00:00:52,517 --> 00:00:54,310 THERE HE IS. >> HEY JAMES. 10 00:00:54,344 --> 00:00:56,965 >> James: HOW ARE YOU, FRIEND. >> I'M DOING WELL, HOW ABOUT 11 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:57,896 YOU. >> James: YOU LOOK WELL, YOU 12 00:00:57,931 --> 00:01:01,172 LOOK WELL. I ENJOY THIS COLOR PALETTE ON 13 00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:02,137 ADAM SCOTT. >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 14 00:01:02,172 --> 00:01:04,206 >> James: THERE IS A GOOD ADAM SCOTT PALETTE. 15 00:01:04,241 --> 00:01:06,965 >> OKAY, I WILL WRITE THAT DOWN. >> James: YOU SHOULD. 16 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,620 WRITE IT DUN RIGHT NOW, WE'LL SEE YOU BACK OUT HERE. 17 00:01:09,655 --> 00:01:14,413 ADAM SCOTT, EVERYBODY. HE'S A WRITER AND DIRECTOR FROM 18 00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:18,413 NORWAY WHO IS NOMINATED FOR TWO ACADEMY AWARDS FOR HIS 19 00:01:18,448 --> 00:01:22,413 INCREDIBLE FILM "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD," MAKING HIS 20 00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:30,931 AMERICAN TALK SHOW DEBUT, THE FANTASTIC, JOACHIM TRIER! 21 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,413 >> HEY, JOACHIM, HOW ARE YOU. >> I'M VERY GOOD, HOW ARE YOU. 22 00:01:33,448 --> 00:01:36,793 >> James: I'M SO WELL, SO HONORED TO MEET YOU. 23 00:01:36,827 --> 00:01:40,206 >> LIKEWISE, IT IS A BLAST. I'M FROM NORWAY, IT IS SNOWING 24 00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:42,448 AND I'M OUT IN L.A. DOING THIS. I'M NOT COMPLAINING. 25 00:01:42,482 --> 00:01:44,413 >> James: WELL, NEITHER ARE WE. 26 00:01:44,448 --> 00:01:49,172 WE ARE THRILLED THAT YOU ARE HERE, JOACHIM TRIER, EVERYBODY. 27 00:01:49,206 --> 00:01:52,586 AND YOU LUCKY DEVIL, SHE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST COMEDIANS YOU 28 00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:55,896 WILL EVER GET TO SEE, YOU KNW HER FROM ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT 29 00:01:55,931 --> 00:01:59,000 AND LADY DYNAMITE, LATER SHE WILL BE PERFORMING HERE FOR ALL 30 00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:04,241 OF US TONIGHT, THE ABSOLUTELY EXCEPTIONAL MARIA BAMFORD IS ON 31 00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:09,033 THE SHOW TONIGHT. MARIA, HOW ARE YOU? 32 00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:14,793 >> OH, HELLO. >> HI ARE THESE FREE. 33 00:02:14,827 --> 00:02:20,103 >> James: ST ALL FREE, TAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THERE, 34 00:02:20,137 --> 00:02:26,034 MARIA. MARIA BAM FORD, EVERYBODY. 35 00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:29,241 HEY, GUYS, LONGER DAYS ARE COMING, GUYS. 36 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:31,206 WE'RE "SPRINGING FORWARD" THIS WEEKEND, SO DON'T FORGET TO SET 37 00:02:31,241 --> 00:02:32,172 YOUR CLOCKS AHEAD. WAIT, DO WE EVEN HAVE TO SAY 38 00:02:32,206 --> 00:02:38,379 THAT ANYMORE? WHAT'S THE POINT. 39 00:02:38,413 --> 00:02:42,034 OUR PHONES AUTOMATICALLY CHANGE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 40 00:02:42,067 --> 00:02:44,758 FOLKS AUTOMATICALLY DP THERE, IT'S NOT LIKE EVERYONE'S 41 00:02:44,793 --> 00:02:49,551 APARTMENT HAS A WALL OF CUCKOO CLOCKS. 42 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:53,827 A LOT OF PEOPLE HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME. 43 00:02:53,862 --> 00:02:57,551 WHERE GO YOU FALL ON IT. >> WHATEVER, IT IS A LITTLE 44 00:02:57,586 --> 00:03:00,655 SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE OF MARCH WHERE YOU ARE LIKE OH, ALL 45 00:03:00,689 --> 00:03:02,034 RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, IT'S FINE. 46 00:03:02,068 --> 00:03:05,068 >> James: I WILL MISS THE HOUR, BUT I DO LIKE IF A LITTLE 47 00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,758 LEITNER THE EVENING. >> IT'S GREAT. 48 00:03:06,793 --> 00:03:11,724 >> James: THAT IS THE TRUTH, I JUST NOTICED T-SHIRTS. AND IT 49 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:15,034 HAS TAKEN MOVE THE WIRE THERE, PETE T SAYS I THINK, THEREFORE 50 00:03:15,068 --> 00:03:27,758 I'M HORNY. [APPLAUSE]. 51 00:03:27,793 --> 00:03:33,000 >> James: SEE WHAT HE IS DOING FOR THE CREW, SCOTTY, STILL 52 00:03:33,034 --> 00:03:35,827 NOTHING. LOOK, SPEAKING OF TIME, WE CAN 53 00:03:35,862 --> 00:03:39,034 DELAY TIME NO LONGER BECAUSE IT'S THAT TIME. 54 00:03:39,067 --> 00:03:43,896 IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS. HIGH-LEVEL TALKS BETWEEN RUSSIA 55 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:46,379 AND UKRAINE TOOK PLACE TODAY BUT ACCORDING TO REPORTS, THEY 56 00:03:46,413 --> 00:03:50,379 ENDED WITH NO BREAKTHROUGHS. THEY MET IN TURKEY. IT'S JUST 57 00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:54,344 NICE TO SEE RUSSIA GOING SOMEWHERE THEY'RE ACTUALLY 58 00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:59,758 INVITED. I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW STRANGE 59 00:03:59,793 --> 00:04:02,448 THESE MEETINGS MUST BE. IT'D BE LIKE TRYING TO HAVE A 60 00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:03,689 CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE WHO'S ACTIVELY SETTING YOUR HOUSE ON 61 00:04:03,724 --> 00:04:12,862 FIRE. DO THEY GET THERE AND THERE IS 62 00:04:12,896 --> 00:04:16,034 SMALL TALK, THAT RUSSELL WILSON TRADE IS 63 00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:18,413 CRAZY. ANYWAYS, WOULD LOVE IT IF WE COULD PUMP THE BRAKES ON THE 64 00:04:18,447 --> 00:04:21,034 WHOLE 'INVASION THINGY.'" MOVING ON, NEW LABOR DEPARTMENT 65 00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:26,413 NUMBERS RELEASED THIS MORNING SHOW THAT INFLATION INCREASED 66 00:04:26,448 --> 00:04:33,034 NEARLY 8% OVER THE PAST YEAR, THE SHARPEST SPIKE SINCE 1982. 67 00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:38,241 I CAME TO AMERICA TO TELL JOKES AND DANCE. 68 00:04:38,275 --> 00:04:41,862 SING IN SING IN A CAR. NOBODY TOLD ME I'D HAVE TO 69 00:04:41,896 --> 00:04:44,862 BECOME AN EXPERT ON KEY MACRO-ECONOMIC INDICATORS. 70 00:04:44,896 --> 00:04:46,379 INFLATION IS A REAL PROBLEM. AND THE WORST THING ABOUT IT IS 71 00:04:46,413 --> 00:04:52,034 THAT, UNLIKE COVID, IT WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF A DINNER PARTY. 72 00:04:52,068 --> 00:04:56,275 THAT'S THE PROBLEM. LIKE OH, FRIDAY, INFLATION. 73 00:04:56,310 --> 00:05:05,344 I HAVE GOT TO-- AN ABUNDANCE OF INFLATION, I WILL HAVE TO CAN 74 00:05:05,379 --> 00:05:06,689 EL. THE T.S.A. ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT 75 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:09,034 THEY ARE EXTENDING ITS MASK MANDATE FOR PLANES AND PUBLIC 76 00:05:09,068 --> 00:05:13,827 TRANSPORTATION UNTIL APRIL EIGHTEENTH, WHICH IS A MONTH 77 00:05:13,862 --> 00:05:15,034 LONGER THAN PLANNED. ALTHOUGH SPIRIT AIRLINES 78 00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:18,413 CONTINUES TO STAND FIRM ON ITS POLICY OF "NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, 79 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:29,793 NO PROBLEM." THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THE 80 00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:32,931 I KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN, IT WILL END UP WITH AIRLINES CHARGES US 81 00:05:32,965 --> 00:05:39,103 A FEE TO GO MASKLESS. THAT IS WHAT THEY WILL DO. 82 00:05:39,137 --> 00:05:41,241 AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF BITTER IN-FIGHTING WITHIN THE 83 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:44,758 DEMOCRATIC PARTY LATELY, SO FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS, HOUSE 84 00:05:44,793 --> 00:05:47,551 DEMOCRATS WILL BE AT A TEAM-BUILDING RETREAT IN 85 00:05:47,586 --> 00:05:51,931 PHILADELPHIA. SPRING BREAK, WOOOOOO! 86 00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:54,379 PROGRESSIVES AND MODERATES ARE AT ODDS OVER FUNDAMENTAL 87 00:05:54,413 --> 00:05:57,034 DIFFERENCES. BUT HOPEFULLY THEY CAN SMOOTH THIS WHOLE THING OUT 88 00:05:57,068 --> 00:06:02,448 WITH A GOOD KARAOKE DUET OF "DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'." 89 00:06:02,482 --> 00:06:05,586 THEY'RE IN PHILLY. PERSONALLY, I THINK THIS IS 90 00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:09,034 GREAT. I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER PLACE 91 00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:14,448 TO FOSTER UNITY THAN IN THE CITY WHOSE FOOTBALL FANS FAMOUSLY 92 00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:23,068 BOOED SANTA CLAUS AS THEY PELTED HIM WITH SNOWBALLS. 93 00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:25,241 NOT ON TOPIC DID YOU DO SOMETHING NEW TO YOUR HAIR. 94 00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:27,793 >> James: YEAH, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 95 00:06:27,827 --> 00:06:29,965 >> IT LOOKS FANTASTIC, IT LOOKS GREAT. 96 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,896 >> Reggie: YOU LOOK GREAT. >> James: FROM THE FRONT. 97 00:06:32,931 --> 00:06:33,827 >> YEAH. >> Reggie: YOU LOOK GOOD WITH 98 00:06:33,862 --> 00:06:35,517 A BOLO. >> James: WITH A BOLO, I 99 00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:39,034 SHOULD HAVE A BOLO TIE. >> Reggie: YEAH, WITH THAT 100 00:06:39,068 --> 00:06:40,172 HAIR. >> James: LET'S GO ONE STEP AT 101 00:06:40,206 --> 00:06:44,862 A TIME, SHALL WE? IS IT HIGHER THAN NORMAL. 102 00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:46,551 >> YOUNG PATRICK SWAZY VIBES OVER HERE. 103 00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:52,034 >> James: LOTS OF PEOPLE SAYING THAT. 104 00:06:52,068 --> 00:06:53,034 >> YEAH >> James: AND DID EVERYBODY HEAR 105 00:06:53,068 --> 00:06:54,827 ABOUT THIS? SHORTLY AFTER DONALD TRUMP'S 106 00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:57,034 PRIVATE JET WAS FORCED TO LAND THE OTHER DAY DUE TO ENGINE 107 00:06:57,068 --> 00:07:00,551 FAILURE, HIS POLITICAL ACTION COMMITTEE SENT OUT AN EMAIL 108 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:04,310 ASKING FOR CASH TO FUND A NEW AIRPLANE. 109 00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:09,068 AN AIRPLANE TRUMP IS CALLING "TRUMP FORCE ONE." 110 00:07:09,103 --> 00:07:12,413 HE'S BEGGING PEOPLE FOR CASH SO HE CAN GET A NEW AIRPLANE. 111 00:07:12,448 --> 00:07:14,448 YOU KNOW, JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER LEGITIMATE BILLIONAIRES 112 00:07:14,482 --> 00:07:23,896 DO. WHO WOULD SEND MONEY, LIKE IF 113 00:07:23,931 --> 00:07:27,034 YOU DEN-- IF YOU GET SCAMMED BY DONALD TRUMP AT THIS POINT, 114 00:07:27,068 --> 00:07:32,827 THAT'S ON YOU, RIGHT? YOU KNOW, THIS IS GOING TO TURN 115 00:07:32,862 --> 00:07:33,862 OUT, TRUMP FORCE ONE IS GOING TO BE A 116 00:07:33,896 --> 00:07:38,413 HONDA ACCORD, WITH CARDBOARD WINGS GLUED TO IT. 117 00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:42,413 AND THIS IS EXCITING, SPRING BREAK IS BACK! 118 00:07:42,448 --> 00:07:45,034 WITH MASK RESTRICTIONS LIFTED AND COVID NUMBERS WAY DOWN, OVER 119 00:07:45,068 --> 00:07:48,931 HALF A MILLION SPRING BREAKERS ARE EXPECTED TO HEAD TO FLORIDA 120 00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:50,379 STARTING THIS WEEK. ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR, IT'S 121 00:07:50,413 --> 00:07:54,448 FLORIDA. THERE WERE NEVER ANY COVID RULES 122 00:07:54,482 --> 00:07:57,034 THERE ANYWAY. BUT THIS IS GREAT, SPRING BREAK 123 00:07:57,068 --> 00:08:00,206 IS BACK, COVID IS DOWN! NOW THE ONLY THINGS TO WORRY 124 00:08:00,241 --> 00:08:02,517 ABOUT ARE SUNBURN, ALCOHOL POISONING, FOOD POISONING, 125 00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:08,793 FALLING OFF A PONTOON BOAT, AND GONORRHEA. 126 00:08:08,827 --> 00:08:12,862 DID YOU GO TO FLORIDA ON SPRING BREAK, ANYONE HERE GO TO FLORIDA 127 00:08:12,896 --> 00:08:26,482 ON SPRING BREAK? >> WHOOO! 128 00:08:26,517 --> 00:08:29,655 [APPLAUSE]. >> James: I FEEL LIKE YOU 129 00:08:29,689 --> 00:08:38,895 WENT, PETE, AND EMOTIONALLY YOU NEVER RETURNED. 130 00:08:38,931 --> 00:08:40,136 >> James: AND THERE'S AN UNUSUAL DEBATE CAPTIVATING THE 131 00:08:40,172 --> 00:08:42,068 INTERNET'S ATTENTION RIGHT NOW. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS? 132 00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:45,034 PEOPLE ARE SPLIT ON A PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION POSED IN 133 00:08:45,068 --> 00:08:50,034 A VIRAL TWITTER POLL, ARE THERE MORE DOORS OR WHEELS IN THE 134 00:08:50,068 --> 00:08:54,413 WORLD? ARE WE SURE REGGIE DIDN'T ASK 135 00:08:54,448 --> 00:09:00,965 THIS ON SHOW 649? 46% VOTED FOR DOORS, WHILE 54% 136 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,068 VOTED FOR WHEELS. I DON'T WANT TO CONFUSE THINGS 137 00:09:03,103 --> 00:09:06,448 ANY MORE THAN THEY ALREADY ARE BUT, CAN A REVOLVING DOOR COUNT 138 00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:14,241 AS BOTH? WHAT DO WE THINK ABOUT THIS, WE 139 00:09:14,275 --> 00:09:15,862 STARTED TALKING ABOUT THIS ON A ZOOM EARLIER. 140 00:09:15,896 --> 00:09:20,103 AND I WOULD SAY IT RAMPED WITHIN FOUR SECONDS. 141 00:09:20,137 --> 00:09:24,379 WHERE DO YOU STAND. >> DOORS, IT'S DOORS AND IT'S 142 00:09:24,413 --> 00:09:26,034 NOT EVEN CLOSE. >> James: I AGREE. 143 00:09:26,068 --> 00:09:30,275 >> 100 PERCENT DOOR Z. >> James: I THINK. 144 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,931 >> HUNDRED PERCENT WHEELS. >> James: EVERYONE IN THE ROOM 145 00:09:31,965 --> 00:09:35,241 WHO THINK THERE ARE MORE DOORS IN THE WORLD? 146 00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,448 OKAY. AND WHO THINKS THERE ARE PLOR 147 00:09:38,482 --> 00:09:40,241 WHEELS? >> YEAH. 148 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,448 >> James: OKAY. THERE'S NO WAY THERE IS MORE 149 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:45,206 WHEELS, THERE IS NO WAY THERE IS MORE WHEELS, WHY IS THERE MORE 150 00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:47,655 WHEELS. >> WHAT IS YOUR DEFINITION OF A 151 00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:49,206 WHEEL. >> James: A WHEEL, THINGS THAT 152 00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:53,034 ARE WHEELED, THAT ARE DRIVEN ON, JARED, HIT ME, YOU LOOK 153 00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:56,172 PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS. >> FOR EVERY DOOR, A DOOR 154 00:09:56,206 --> 00:09:59,344 CONSTITUTES THAT THERE HAS TO BE A ROOM, SO FOR EVERY ROOM THAT 155 00:09:59,379 --> 00:10:03,275 MEAN THERE SAY CEILING, I FLOOR AND FOUR WALLS WHEREAS WHEEL INS 156 00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:06,034 ARE THREE WHEELS RIGHT THERE FOUR WHEELS RIGHT THERE, THERE 157 00:10:06,068 --> 00:10:10,413 HAS TO BE MORE WHEELS. >> Reggie: AGREED. 158 00:10:10,448 --> 00:10:12,724 >> THANK YOU. >> AGREED. 159 00:10:12,758 --> 00:10:15,034 >> James. >> I LIKE THAT. 160 00:10:15,068 --> 00:10:18,000 >> James:-- JUST WENT. EVERY. 161 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:23,068 >> EVERY CUP BOARD HAS A DOOR. >> James: THAT'S A DOOR. 162 00:10:23,103 --> 00:10:26,000 >> EVERY CLOSET HAS A DOOR. >> James: CLOSET DOOR. 163 00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:29,931 >> WE'RE IN A WHEEL RICH VIMENT. >> NOT EVERY CLOSET, NOT EVERY 164 00:10:29,965 --> 00:10:33,965 CLOSET, THEY HAVE WHEELS, SOME ROLL ON WHEELS. 165 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:38,965 >> MOST CLOSETS. MOSES CLOSETS. 166 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,793 >> James: AVA WHAT DO YOU THINK? 167 00:10:41,827 --> 00:10:45,586 >> EVERY HUMAN HAS TO-- LIKE LIVE WITH DOORS, AND YOU DO NOT 168 00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:49,068 HAVE TO LIVE WITH WHEELS, SO JUST FROM A HUMAN PERSPECTIVE WE 169 00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:51,965 RELY ON DOORS WAY MORE THAN WHEELS. 170 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,793 >> James: BUT THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION, ARE THERE MORE DOORS. 171 00:10:54,827 --> 00:10:56,931 >> OUR DISTANCE REQUIRES MORE DOORS THAN WHEELS. 172 00:10:56,965 --> 00:11:00,758 >> James: BECAUSE YOU COULD SAY, SOMEONE WOULD SAY A CAR HAS 173 00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:04,551 GOT FOUR WHEELS YEAH, BUT A CAR HAS ALSO GOT FOUR DOORS. 174 00:11:04,586 --> 00:11:07,517 >> NOT ALL OF THEM. >> YEAH, BUT NOT ALL. 175 00:11:07,551 --> 00:11:13,724 >> SOME CARPS HAVE SPARE WHEELS. >> BUT WHEN YOU GO INTO A 176 00:11:13,758 --> 00:11:16,000 BUILDING AND THERE'S LIKE 700 DOOR INS IT. 177 00:11:16,034 --> 00:11:17,620 >> THERE ARE NO WHEELS IN THAT BUILDING. 178 00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:20,000 >> BUT THERE IS A PARKING DAR AGE OUTSIDE OF IT WITH A TON OF 179 00:11:20,034 --> 00:11:25,862 CARS WITH A LOT OF WHEELS ON IT. >> GUESS WHAT, ROB, I WALKED 180 00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:28,896 THERE, HOW DID I WALK THERE, I LEFT THE HOUSE OUT OF A DOOR, 181 00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:32,275 WENT OUT MY BEDROOM INTO MY BATHROOM OUT THE FRONT DOOR, 182 00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:34,689 WALKED DOWN, I WILL PICK UP A NEWSPAPER, I WILL GO THROUGH 183 00:11:34,724 --> 00:11:38,551 THIS DOOR, GET A NEWSPAPER, I ONE SIDE I WILL GO THROUGH THAT 184 00:11:38,586 --> 00:11:43,379 DOOR GET TO THE BUILDING AND GO TO ANOTHER 85 DOORS TO GET TO MY 185 00:11:43,413 --> 00:11:49,068 OFFICE. HAVE I NOT TOUCH AID WHEEL! 186 00:11:49,103 --> 00:11:53,931 >> WHAT DID YOU SAY, PETE? >> YOU'RE SITTING ON FIVE 187 00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:56,137 WHEELS. >> ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY EACH LEG 188 00:11:56,172 --> 00:12:03,034 HAS TWO WHEELS, IT IS A TWO WHEEL CONFIGURATION PER LEG. 189 00:12:03,068 --> 00:12:09,827 >> James: ALL RIGHT, FORGET IT. 190 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:13,931 LOOK AT ALL THE DOORS IN HERE, ROB. 191 00:12:13,965 --> 00:12:17,344 LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT. 192 00:12:17,379 --> 00:12:20,862 LOOK AT THAT. LOOK AT THAT. 193 00:12:20,896 --> 00:12:24,344 ONE, TWO, THREE, THAT'S-- THERE'S NOT A WHEEL 194 00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:28,310 THIS THERE. THAT'S CHOCKED FULL OF DOORS. 195 00:12:28,344 --> 00:12:31,827 OH, WHAT IS THAT, GOING TO CHINESE THEATER, HOW DO I GET IN 196 00:12:31,862 --> 00:12:37,931 THERE THROUGH THESE WHEELS, NO THAT DOOR RIGHT THERE. 197 00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:41,931 DOORS. DOORS,. 198 00:12:41,965 --> 00:12:55,103 LOOK AT THAT. IT'S DOORS IN THERE, ROB. 199 00:12:55,137 --> 00:13:00,482 I'M DONE WITH A A LOT OF YOU. >> Reggie: WHAT ABOUT MOTOR 200 00:13:00,517 --> 00:13:02,344 HOMES, THEY'RE HOMES BUT THEY ALSO HAVE WHEELS. 201 00:13:02,379 --> 00:13:05,551 >> James: YEAH, AND THOSE MOTORS HAVE GOT DOORS. 202 00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:08,000 >> Reggie: YEAH, BUT MORE WHEELS THAN DOORS. 203 00:13:08,034 --> 00:13:10,758 >> James: RIGHT. >> ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT 204 00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:12,448 HAS-- . >> James: HANG ON A MINUTE, 205 00:13:12,482 --> 00:13:17,758 GET OUT OF THE WAY, WATCH OUT. >> Reggie: OH, DAMN. 206 00:13:17,793 --> 00:13:22,758 >> James: HANG ON, HANG ON, EXECUTIVE PRODUCER OF THE JOE 207 00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:28,724 BEN WINSTON, FIRST TIME ON THE STUDIO FLOOR IN SIX YEARS. 208 00:13:28,758 --> 00:13:33,310 >> NO, NO, NO, NO. HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE. 209 00:13:33,344 --> 00:13:35,965 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS EVEN A DISCUSSION. 210 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,965 IN THE WORLD THERE ARE 4.5 BILLION BUILDING. 211 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,758 THERE ARE ONLY 1.5 BILLION CARS. AND OF THOSE 1.5 BILLION CARS, 212 00:13:44,793 --> 00:13:49,344 THE MAJORITY OF THEM HAVE FOUR DOORS, THIS IS ABSURD. 213 00:13:49,379 --> 00:14:02,965 AND ROB, I'M ASHAMED OF YOU. >> James: ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 214 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:03,931 NEXT. >> OKAY. 215 00:14:03,965 --> 00:14:08,586 >> James: ARE THERE MORE LIZARDS OR BIRDS. 216 00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:09,551 GO. >> BIRDS. 217 00:14:09,586 --> 00:14:12,620 >> IT'S LIZARD YOU [BLEEP] MORON. 218 00:14:12,655 --> 00:14:14,275 DAM IT. >> BIRDS, MAN. 219 00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:20,000 >> James: AND FINALLY >> James: AND FINALLY, HIDDEN 220 00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:21,068 VALLEY HAS CREATED A DIAMOND FROM THEIR RANCH DRESSING 221 00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:25,413 SEASONING. IT'S TRUE, THEY HEATED THE RANCH 222 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:29,379 SEASONING TO OVER TWO THOUSAND DEGREES, THEN CRUSHED IT BENEATH 223 00:14:29,413 --> 00:14:32,034 FOUR HUNDRED TONS OF PRESSURE, AND THEN FIVE MONTHS LATER THEY 224 00:14:32,068 --> 00:14:37,551 GOT THIS: I MEAN, THAT'S ONE WAY TO MAKE 225 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:41,379 SURE YOUR FIANCEEEÉ CRIES WHEN YU PROPOSE. 226 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:44,344 ISN'T IT? THEY MADE AN ACTUAL DIAMOND OUT 227 00:14:44,379 --> 00:14:49,344 OF HIDDEN VALLEY RANCH. WHICH REALLY MAKES YOU WONDER, 228 00:14:49,379 --> 00:14:56,000 WHAT IS RANCH DRESSING? THEY EVEN MOUNTED THE DIAMOND ON 229 00:14:56,034 --> 00:14:57,896 A BEAUTIFUL BAND, SO YOU COULD GIVE IT AS AN ENGAGEMENT RING. 230 00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,000 IT'S THE PERFECT WAY TO SAY "I DO, 231 00:15:00,034 --> 00:15:04,000 NOT EXPECT THIS RELATIONSHIP TO LAST." 232 00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:06,000 AND THAT'S THE NEWS! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 233 00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:30,000 >> THESE ARE GREAT SEATS, ALMOST COURT SIERD. 234 00:15:30,034 --> 00:15:32,827 >> RIGHT BEHIND THE OPPOSING TEAM. 235 00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:35,241 >> SINCE THEY WIPED THE FLOOR WITH US LAST TIME, ONLY TWO 236 00:15:35,275 --> 00:15:39,517 MINUTES LEFT, WE GOT TO LET THEM KNOW WE'RE HERE. 237 00:15:39,551 --> 00:15:42,586 >> HEY YOU GUYS. >> YOU GUYS PLAYING BASKETBALL, 238 00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:46,620 YOU PLAYING. >> DID YOU GUYS EVEN STUFF YOUR 239 00:15:46,655 --> 00:15:49,310 INJURIES HE IS STARCH YOUR JERSEY BEFORE THE GAME BECAUSE 240 00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:55,034 THEY LOOK A LITTLE WRINKLED ASK YOU ASK ME. 241 00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:59,482 >> NUMBER 26, RIGHT ON HIS FACE, HE IS THE BEST PLAY ARER, WE 242 00:15:59,517 --> 00:16:02,275 HAVE TO GET IN HIS HEAD. >> NUMBER 26, HOW DOES THE FLOOR 243 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,379 TASTE. >> NUMBER 26, YOU CALL THAT A 244 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:08,241 JUMP SHOT, LOOKS MORE LIKE A CHUMP SHOT. 245 00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:10,551 >> HEY, NUMBER 26, IF I WAS HOSTING A DINNER 246 00:16:10,586 --> 00:16:11,793 >> James: HEY NUMBER 26, IF I WERE HOSTING A DINNER PARTY, 247 00:16:11,827 --> 00:16:13,137 LET'S JUST SAY YOUR INVITATION MIGHT GET LOST IN THE MAIL! 248 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,172 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? >> James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 249 00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:17,620 I'M TRASH TALKING. >> YOU GOTTA BE HARSHER. 250 00:16:17,655 --> 00:16:22,000 LIKE, I ASKED 26 HOW THE FLOOR TASTED. 251 00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:28,000 AND THEN SHE CALLED HIM A CHUMP. >> YEAH, AND THEN YOU LOOSELY 252 00:16:28,034 --> 00:16:32,413 IMPLIED YOU MIGHT NOT INVITE HIM TO A PARTY? 253 00:16:32,448 --> 00:16:33,103 THAT'S NOT REALLY TRASH TALK. >> James: YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN TO 254 00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:36,000 MY PARTIES. THEY'RE EPIC. 255 00:16:36,034 --> 00:16:38,034 >> NO, THEY ARE BUT MAYBE TRY SAYING SOMETHING THAT IS MORE 256 00:16:38,068 --> 00:16:40,620 AGGRESSIVE AND PERSONAL TO THROW HIM OFF. 257 00:16:40,655 --> 00:16:41,482 >> James: MORE AGGRESSIVE AND PERSONAL. 258 00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:44,068 GOT IT. >> HERE WATCH. 259 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:52,482 HEY 26, I'VE SEEN BETTER BALL HANDLING ON ONLY-FANS! 260 00:16:52,517 --> 00:16:54,379 >> HEY 26, THAT LAST PLAY WAS THE SADDEST THING I'VE SEEN ALL 261 00:16:54,413 --> 00:17:00,172 WEEK AND I JUST WATCHED THE FINALE OF "THIS IS US!" 262 00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:04,103 >> HEY NUMBER 26, I'M GONNA KILL YOU AND STEAL YOUR DOG. 263 00:17:04,137 --> 00:17:06,275 >> DUDE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 264 00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:08,068 >> James: WHAT? YOU SAID GET MORE AGGRESSIVE AND 265 00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:12,827 PERSONAL. >> YOU CAN'T MAKE A PUBLIC 266 00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:13,896 THREAT ON SOMEONE'S LIFE. >> James: I FEEL LIKE YOU 267 00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:15,448 GUYS ARE GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS. 268 00:17:15,482 --> 00:17:19,205 >> NOT THAT PERSONAL, OKAY? DIAL IT BACK. 269 00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:21,068 >> James: FINE. 270 00:17:21,103 --> 00:17:23,689 HEY NUMBER 26, I HOPE YOU LOSE... 271 00:17:23,723 --> 00:17:25,413 >> WELL NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR THE OTHER-— 272 00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:31,000 >> James: ...YOUR HOUSE IN A BRUSH FIRE! UP TOP! 273 00:17:31,034 --> 00:17:32,034 >> THAT IS NOT COOL, MAN. >> James: YOU SAID LESS 274 00:17:32,068 --> 00:17:36,758 PERSONAL! FIRE DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE. 275 00:17:36,793 --> 00:17:39,689 [ WHISTLE ] I THINK HIS TRASH TALK IS 276 00:17:39,724 --> 00:17:40,896 WORKING. >> James: SEE? 277 00:17:40,931 --> 00:17:43,758 AND THERE'S ONLY TEN SECONDS LEFT IN THE GAME. 278 00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:45,827 >> LET'S GO EXTRA HARD. HEY 26, WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING THE 279 00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:50,068 UGLIEST PERSON IN NORTH AMERICA?! 280 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:55,862 >> IS 26 YOUR JERSEY NUMBER OR YOUR MOM'S HOURLY RATE?! 281 00:17:55,896 --> 00:18:01,448 >> James: HEY 26, YOU ARE A BURDEN TO EVERYONE YOU LOVE! 282 00:18:01,482 --> 00:18:08,103 [ BUZZER ] THEY WON! 283 00:18:08,137 --> 00:18:09,448 >> James: LOOK, HE'S WALKING BACK TO THE LOCKER ROOM IN 284 00:18:09,482 --> 00:18:11,172 SHAME. >> YEAH, YOU BETTER KEEP 285 00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:19,724 WALKING, LOSER. >> James: GREAT GAME! 286 00:18:19,758 --> 00:18:20,896 WE ARE SO PROUD TO BE YOUR PARENTS. 287 00:18:20,931 --> 00:18:21,862 >> WHO WANTS TO GO GET SOME 288 00:18:21,896 --> 00:18:26,724 ICE CREAM?! >> James: JENNIFER GARNER AND 289 00:18:26,758 --> 00:18:28,758 GREG KINNEAR EVERYBODY! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 290 00:18:41,034 --> 00:18:43,000 WELCOME BACK, LET'S MEET OUR GUEST, HE STARS IN SEVERANCE, 291 00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:57,931 PLEASE WE COME ADAM SCOTT. AN IS DIRECT THE WORSE PERSON IN 292 00:18:57,965 --> 00:18:59,068 PLEASE WE COME ADAM SCOTT. AN IS DIRECT THE WORSE PERSON IN 293 00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:01,103 THE WORLD, PLEASE WELCOME JOACHIM TRIER. 294 00:19:14,965 --> 00:19:17,034 >> Reggie: HEAR WE G IT STARTS NOW. 295 00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:23,103 >> James: AND HERE WE ARE, LOOK AT US, JOACHIM, FIRST 296 00:19:23,137 --> 00:19:24,931 AMERICAN LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW, HOW IS THE EXPERIENCE SO FAR, 297 00:19:24,965 --> 00:19:27,793 ARE YOU ENJOYING IT. >> SO FAR, SO GOOD, THERE WAS A 298 00:19:27,827 --> 00:19:30,448 GREEN ROOM, EVERYTHING WAS TIDDY, CAN I REPORT. 299 00:19:30,482 --> 00:19:33,896 VERY IMPRESSED, COMING FROM NORWAY, AND I LIKE THINGS CLEAN, 300 00:19:33,931 --> 00:19:35,896 VERY IMPRESSED SO FAR. >> James: WE TRIED OUR BEST, 301 00:19:35,931 --> 00:19:39,586 WE REALLY DID YOU A FULL, WE WERE HERE UNTIL MIDNIGHT, ALL OF 302 00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,206 US, THE BAND, CLEANING ESPECIALLY FOR YOU. 303 00:19:41,241 --> 00:19:44,413 >> THANK YOU. >> James: NOW IT'S AWARD SEE 304 00:19:44,448 --> 00:19:46,551 SORNTION ARE YOU NOMINATED, CON GRATED LATES FOR TWO OSCARS, 305 00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:49,310 BEST INTERNATIONAL FEATURE, BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY. 306 00:19:49,344 --> 00:19:52,413 NOW YOU WENT TO THE OSCARS LUNCHEON THE OTHER DAY WHERE ALL 307 00:19:52,448 --> 00:19:56,793 OF THE NOMINEES, ANYONE NOMINATED GOES FOR LUNCH. 308 00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:58,000 HOW WAS THAT GROUP, WHO DID YOU MEET? 309 00:19:58,034 --> 00:20:01,517 >> IT WAS AWESOME. I MEAN YOU KNOW, I GREW UP IN 310 00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:06,413 NORWAY, A BIT OF A NORTHERN SUBURBS OF EUROPE AND THERE I 311 00:20:06,448 --> 00:20:12,206 WAS AND I MEET PEOPLE LIKE-- AND ESCHSON, ADMIRED FOR YEARS, I 312 00:20:12,241 --> 00:20:15,551 TALKED TO HIM, HE SAID LISTEN, YOU HAVE TO MEET SOMEONE AND HE 313 00:20:15,586 --> 00:20:19,517 STAKE TAKES ME OVER TO STEVEN SPIELBERG WITH HIS FAMILY, HAS 314 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,379 SEEN OUR FIM AND SAID HE ENJOYED IT, COULDN'T BE BETTER. 315 00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:26,034 >> James: CONGRATULATIONS, WHAT A GREAT EXPERIENCE TO BE 316 00:20:26,068 --> 00:20:27,206 HAVING. >> THANK YOU. 317 00:20:27,241 --> 00:20:29,034 >> James: ADD AND, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN HERE ON THE SHOW IN 318 00:20:29,068 --> 00:20:31,551 AWHILE. WE HAVE MISSED YOU. BUT I DO, 319 00:20:31,586 --> 00:20:36,137 LUCKILY FOR ME GET TO DRIVE PASSED YOU EVERY DAY. 320 00:20:36,172 --> 00:20:42,000 I DRIVE PASS THIS EVERY DAY. >> SORRY ABOUT THAT. 321 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:47,310 >> James: HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SEE YOURSELF, I MEAN IT IS 322 00:20:47,344 --> 00:20:51,034 REALLY ONLY YOU, HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SEE YOURSELF ON A 323 00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:53,000 BILLBOARD. >> IT'S WEIRD. 324 00:20:53,034 --> 00:20:58,034 AND YOU KNOW, RECENTLY I BRUT MY SON TO GET A HAIRCUT AND IT WAS 325 00:20:58,068 --> 00:21:01,137 TIME, WHEN WE FINISHED IT WAS TIME TO GO HOME. 326 00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:06,448 AND I TOOK THE LONG WAY AROUND, I WENT DOWN FAIR TAX FAX AND 327 00:21:06,482 --> 00:21:10,000 WENT UP TO THE EDGE, RIGHT BY US, HE IS 15 YEARS OLD AND I 328 00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:12,482 WANT ANY VALIDATION WHATSOEVER FROM HIM. 329 00:21:12,517 --> 00:21:16,241 >> James: ANYTHING AT ALL. >> IT'S TOUGH. 330 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:19,034 >> AND WE DRIVE, WE START APPROACHING THE BILLBOARD, I'M 331 00:21:19,068 --> 00:21:24,000 LIKE OH MY GOSH, LOOK, CHECK IT OUT, THIS IS CRAZY. 332 00:21:24,034 --> 00:21:28,379 AND HE IS ON HIS PHONE AND NO JOKE, HE JUST GOES, THAT IS 333 00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:34,034 WEIRD, YOU ARE UP THERE AND YOU ARE RIGHT THERE. 334 00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:35,689 >> THAT WAS IT. >> James: I WOULD TAKE THAT. 335 00:21:35,724 --> 00:21:41,137 >> I TOOK IT, I TOOK IT HAPPILY. >> James: BIG FOR 15 YEAR OLD, 336 00:21:41,172 --> 00:21:44,344 JOACHIM THAT IS THE FIRST TIME ON AN AMERICAN TALK SHOW, YOU 337 00:21:44,379 --> 00:21:48,931 STARTED OUT, YOU WERE ON THE CAMERA CREW FOR NORWEGIAN 338 00:21:48,965 --> 00:21:51,103 ENTERTAINMENT SHOWS, WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? 339 00:21:51,137 --> 00:21:56,000 WHAT WAS THAT EXPERIENCE? >> YEAH, NO, THAT IS WHERE I MET 340 00:21:56,034 --> 00:22:00,137 MY COWRITING THAT I AM NOW CONOMINATED WITH FOR THE 341 00:22:00,172 --> 00:22:02,931 ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY, WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS MY JOB. 342 00:22:02,965 --> 00:22:07,103 I WAS A CABLE BASHER WHICH MEANS YOU KNOW I WALKED OUT OF LATE 343 00:22:07,137 --> 00:22:10,793 NIGHT SHOWS, SO THE KASM RASS WOULDN'T DRIVE ACROSS THE CORD 344 00:22:10,827 --> 00:22:14,000 AND GET STUCK. CRAZY TIMES BEING BEHIND THE 345 00:22:14,034 --> 00:22:17,172 CAMERA ON LIVE TV. >> James: IT WAS LIVE. 346 00:22:17,206 --> 00:22:23,137 >> YEAH, NO, LIVE ON SATURDAY NIGHT, USUALLY, THERE WAS A SHOW 347 00:22:23,172 --> 00:22:26,275 WHERE THEY WOULD CALL UP WITH NORWAY T IS A SMALL COUNTRY SO 348 00:22:26,310 --> 00:22:29,689 THEY WOULD DO THIS THING ABOUT PEOPLE COMING IN, SHOWING 349 00:22:29,724 --> 00:22:32,689 INVENTIONS, AND MAYBE THE GOVERNMENT WOULD INVEST IN THOSE 350 00:22:32,724 --> 00:22:36,344 INVENTIONS, BECAUSE SOMEONE HAD MADE, VERY SIM PATHETIC, YOU 351 00:22:36,379 --> 00:22:40,000 KNOW, CERTAIN KEY SYSTEM FOR BLIND PEOPLE SO THEY REQUEST FIT 352 00:22:40,034 --> 00:22:43,000 INTO, NICE THINGS, SUDDENLY ONE NIGHT THERE WAS THIS GIERKS THAT 353 00:22:43,034 --> 00:22:46,758 CAME AROUND AND WE SWRAI PROBLEM IN NORWAY THAT ALONG THE TRAIN 354 00:22:46,793 --> 00:22:50,965 TRACKS AROUND THE KRIRKS MOOSE GET STUCK AND GET RUN OVER BY 355 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,965 TRAINS, SO THIS GENTLEMAN CAME IN, I REMEMBER. 356 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000 >> HUGE PROBLEM. >> YEAH, OF COURSE, TERRIBLE 357 00:22:56,034 --> 00:23:02,793 PROBLEM. AND SO THIS GENTLEMEN CAME IN, AND HE HAD PUT WOLF ME 358 00:23:02,827 --> 00:23:07,758 ON A SPRAY CAN AND CON DENSZED IT SO HE WOULD SPRAY ALONG THE 359 00:23:07,793 --> 00:23:11,931 TRAIN TRACKS AND THE ELK, THE MOOSE WOULD STAY AWAY. 360 00:23:11,965 --> 00:23:16,344 THE HOST OF THE SHOW TRIED TO BE FUNNY SOW JUST OH, LET'S SMELL 361 00:23:16,379 --> 00:23:19,000 THIS THING. I WOULD WAS BEHIND THE CAM RAND 362 00:23:19,034 --> 00:23:23,034 AT FIRST WAVE OF SMELL HIT ME AND I ALMOST VOMITED. 363 00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:26,034 ALL THE CAMERA PEOPLE, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THEIR EYES, 364 00:23:26,068 --> 00:23:29,586 THEY HAD TO SMUGGLE ALL OF THE AUDIENCE OUT, OLD PEOPLE WERE 365 00:23:29,620 --> 00:23:35,517 FALLING DOWN WITH HEART ATTACKS AND WE WERE TRYING TO PICK THEM 366 00:23:35,551 --> 00:23:36,793 UP. >> 367 00:23:36,827 --> 00:23:38,482 >> James: SO WHEN YOU WORKED AND A CREW WAS THERE EVER A TIME 368 00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:42,241 WHEN YOU FELT COMFORTABLE ENOUGH IN THE ENVIRONMENT YOU WERE 369 00:23:42,275 --> 00:23:48,551 WORKINGS TO WEAR A T-SHIRT THAT SAID, I THINK THEREFORE I'M 370 00:23:48,586 --> 00:23:52,310 HORNEE? BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE 371 00:23:52,344 --> 00:23:54,793 SEEN PETE HERE. >> YEAH. 372 00:23:54,827 --> 00:23:59,310 NOW ADAM, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BRILLIANT SHOW SEVERANCE, 373 00:23:59,344 --> 00:24:02,034 INKRIDDABLE REVIEWS, PEOPLE ARE ABSOLUTELY LOVING THE SLOW. 374 00:24:02,068 --> 00:24:05,103 FOR ANYONE O WHO HASN'T CAUGHT IT YET, EXPLAIN WHAT IT IS ABOUT 375 00:24:05,137 --> 00:24:08,620 AND WHO YOU PLAY. >> SURE, THE SHOW TAKES PLACE IN 376 00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:11,448 A WORLD WHERE IN IS A PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY THAT YOU CAN GET 377 00:24:11,482 --> 00:24:16,793 INSERTED INTO YOUR BRAIN. WHERE AFTER YOU GET THIS 378 00:24:16,827 --> 00:24:20,275 PROCEDURE DONE WHEN YOU GO TO WORK, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU 379 00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:24,758 ARE IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. ONCE YOU CROSS THE THRESHHOLD OF 380 00:24:24,793 --> 00:24:28,344 YOUR JOB, AUTOMATICALLY YOU FORGET ALL OF YOUR MEMORIES IN 381 00:24:28,379 --> 00:24:31,034 THE OUTSIDE WORLD. WHEN YOU LEAVE WORK AND GO HOME, 382 00:24:31,068 --> 00:24:34,482 CROSS THAT THRESHHOLD AGAIN, IT'S ACTIVATEDDED, YOU HAVE NO 383 00:24:34,517 --> 00:24:36,103 MEMORIES OF WHAT YOU DID AT WORK. 384 00:24:36,137 --> 00:24:38,068 YOU ARE ONLY IN YOUR OUTSIDE WORLD. 385 00:24:38,103 --> 00:24:42,379 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR JOB IS. SO YOU HAVE THESE TWO SEPARATE 386 00:24:42,413 --> 00:24:45,724 LIVES SO YOU CAN FOCUS ON YOUR PERSONAL LIFE, ENJOY YOUR LIFE, 387 00:24:45,758 --> 00:24:49,068 YOU CAN FOCUS ON YOUR JOB COMPLETELY AND JUST DO YOUR JOB 388 00:24:49,103 --> 00:24:54,310 AS WELL AS POSSIBLE AND SO MY CHARACTER MARK HAS HAD THIS DONG 389 00:24:54,344 --> 00:24:58,137 AND BECAUSE HE LOST HIS WIFE IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD AND HE IS JUST 390 00:24:58,172 --> 00:25:03,758 TRYING TO ESCAPE THE PAIN OF THAT, BY SWITCHING OFF FOR TEN 391 00:25:03,793 --> 00:25:06,655 HOURS A DAY OR WHATEVER, THAT IS KIND EVERYWHERE THE STORY 392 00:25:06,689 --> 00:25:09,517 STARTS. >> IT IS A BILL YANT SHOW WITH 393 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:13,413 AN EXTRAORDINARY CAST, DIRECTED BY BEN STILLER, YOU WORKED WITH 394 00:25:13,448 --> 00:25:16,620 CHRISTOPHER WALKER AND JOHN TURTURRO WHO ARE TWO OF 395 00:25:16,655 --> 00:25:19,103 ANYBODY'S ABSOLUTE GREATS. WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH 396 00:25:19,137 --> 00:25:20,379 THEM? WHAT IS IT LIKE YOUR FIRST DAY? 397 00:25:20,413 --> 00:25:23,862 ARE YOU NERVOUS? ARE YOU NERVOUS AROUND ACTORS 398 00:25:23,896 --> 00:25:26,931 LIKE THAT? >> I WAS, CUZ YOU KNOW, WE HAD 399 00:25:26,965 --> 00:25:29,241 BEEN WAITING MONTHS AND MONTHS TO START AND FINALLY MY FIRST 400 00:25:29,275 --> 00:25:34,034 DAY WITH JOHN TURTURRO AND CHRISTOPHER WALKEN WAS IN FRONT 401 00:25:34,068 --> 00:25:36,344 OF ME. IT WAS THE NEXT DAY. 402 00:25:36,379 --> 00:25:38,862 AND I WAS-- I MEAN THESE ARE PROFOUND HEROES OF MINE. 403 00:25:38,896 --> 00:25:43,310 >> James: YEAH. >> AND I'M SO EXCITED, I CAN'T 404 00:25:43,344 --> 00:25:46,551 REALLY GET TO SLEEP. I FINALLY GET TO SLEEP AROUND 2 405 00:25:46,586 --> 00:25:52,068 A.M., GETTING PICKED UP AT 5:30. NOT GOING TO GET MUCH SLEEP BUT 406 00:25:52,103 --> 00:25:54,413 WHATEVER, IT IS GOING TO BE AN EXCITING DAY. 407 00:25:54,448 --> 00:25:58,965 I NEED TO WAKE UP AT LET'S SAY 4:45 TO GET PICKED UP AT 5:30, I 408 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,275 WAKE UP AND IT'S 8 A.M. >> James: STOP. 409 00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:04,758 >> I WAKE UP BECAUSE THEY'RE POUNDING ON MY DOOR. 410 00:26:04,793 --> 00:26:08,344 SOMEONE HAS HAD THE TIME TO DRIVE FROM THE SET WHICH IS 40 411 00:26:08,379 --> 00:26:13,931 MINUTE AS WAY TO COME DOWN TO MANUALLY WAKE ME UP. AND I'M 412 00:26:13,965 --> 00:26:16,379 RUNNING AROUND MY APARTMENT, LIKE A NIGHTMARE. 413 00:26:16,413 --> 00:26:19,689 >> James: YES. >> RUNNING AROUND MY APARTMENT, 414 00:26:19,724 --> 00:26:22,827 GETTING STUFF, GETTING DRESSED, CRYING. 415 00:26:22,862 --> 00:26:26,172 LIKE I AM TEN YEARS OLD AND I'M IN TROUBLE. 416 00:26:26,206 --> 00:26:32,103 IT WAS THE WORST, THANKS. SERIOUSLY CUZ IT STILL GIVES 417 00:26:32,137 --> 00:26:34,275 ME-- DPSH I'M STARTING TO SWEAT RIGHT NOW THINK BEING IT. 418 00:26:34,310 --> 00:26:38,241 SO I GOT TO WORK. AND THIS BIG DAY I WAS EXCITED 419 00:26:38,275 --> 00:26:41,103 FOR, THE FIRST THING I HAD TO DO WAS GO AND PERSONALLY APOLOGIZE 420 00:26:41,137 --> 00:26:46,034 TO JOHN TURTURRO AND CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AND BEG THEIR-- THEY WERE 421 00:26:46,068 --> 00:26:48,655 COOL AND EVERYTHING. >> James: YOUR FIRST DAY, YOU 422 00:26:48,689 --> 00:26:52,379 ARE THREE WEEKS IN, PEOPLE KNOW IT IS NOT YOUR NATURE, THE FIRST 423 00:26:52,413 --> 00:26:54,448 DAY. >> THIS GUY IS LIKE-- . 424 00:26:54,482 --> 00:26:59,965 >> James: OH GOD, I WAS IN A PLAY IN NEW YORK ONCE WITH 425 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:05,034 THE-- BOYS AND I FELL ASLEEP BEHIND THE STAGE CUZ I WASN'T IN 426 00:27:05,068 --> 00:27:06,793 THE FIRST SCENE. >> SURE. 427 00:27:06,827 --> 00:27:10,068 >> James: OF ACT TWO AND ACT TWO WOULD ALWAYS START WITH THIS 428 00:27:10,103 --> 00:27:15,275 VERY LOUD MUSIC THAT WOULD GO-- AND YOU COULD NEVER SLEEP 429 00:27:15,310 --> 00:27:16,413 THROUGH IT. >> YEAH. 430 00:27:16,448 --> 00:27:20,137 >> James: UNTIL I SLEPT THROUGH IT, AND I WOKE UP TO 431 00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:24,275 HEAR SOMEONE ELSE SAYING MY LINES ON STAGE. 432 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:26,344 >> NO. >> James: BUT IT WASN'T DAY 433 00:27:26,379 --> 00:27:33,344 ONE, THIS IS SHOW 420, AND I WENT LIKE THIS, I WENT-- AW 434 00:27:33,379 --> 00:27:34,517 [BLEEP]. >> IT'S FINE. 435 00:27:34,551 --> 00:27:37,034 >> James: THE SHOW IS BRILLIANT, YOU MADE IT THROUGH. 436 00:27:37,068 --> 00:27:41,103 AND YOU ARE EXCEPTIONAL IN WHAT IS A BRILLIANT PIECE OF 437 00:27:41,137 --> 00:27:45,068 TELEVISION. LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP FROM 438 00:27:45,103 --> 00:27:48,344 SEVERANCE, AVAILABLE NOW ON APRIL TV PLUS WITH NEW EPISODES 439 00:27:48,379 --> 00:27:50,896 EVERY FRIDAY. >> I JUST NOTICED YOU REMOVED 440 00:27:50,931 --> 00:27:55,034 THE GROUP PHOTOS FROM THE DESK. >> YEAH, WE WILL TAKE THE NEW 441 00:27:55,068 --> 00:28:00,344 ONES AT HAILIE'S PARTY TODAY. >> OH. 442 00:28:00,379 --> 00:28:02,862 >> OKAY, THIS IS THE SIENNA FILE. 443 00:28:02,896 --> 00:28:07,068 NOW ALL THE DATA YOU SEE FALLS INTO ONE OF FOUR ESSENTIAL 444 00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:12,413 CATEGORIES, NOW WE GROUP EACH LINE OF CODE AND THEN SORT IT. 445 00:28:12,448 --> 00:28:15,724 EVENLY BETWEEN FIVE DIGITAL BUCKETS. 446 00:28:15,758 --> 00:28:19,517 >> JUST POKE AROUND FIRST. >> I DO THINK THE OLD PHOTOS ARE 447 00:28:19,551 --> 00:28:25,655 SUPPOSED TO STAY ON THE DESK UNTIL THE NEW ONES COME IN. 448 00:28:25,689 --> 00:28:28,379 >> James: STICK AROUND, MORE WITH THESE TWO WHEN WE COME 449 00:28:28,413 --> 00:28:29,413 BACK, EVERYBODY. 450 00:29:16,034 --> 00:29:19,310 >> >> Reggie: I LOVE MY WHEELS, 451 00:29:19,344 --> 00:29:21,758 MY WHEELS. >> James: THAT WAS A CLIP FROM 452 00:29:21,793 --> 00:29:28,448 "THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD," WHICH IS OUT NOW IN THEATERS, 453 00:29:28,482 --> 00:29:31,965 CONGRATULATIONS ON THE FILM T IS SO BRILLIANT, SO MANY PEOPLE ARE 454 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,034 LOVING THE FILM. I URGE ANYBODY TO SEEK IT OUT, 455 00:29:34,068 --> 00:29:38,103 FIND IT, WATCH IT. TELL US ABOUT THE FILM AND HOW 456 00:29:38,137 --> 00:29:41,586 YOU CAME UP WITH IT. >> IT IS BASICALLY MY 457 00:29:41,620 --> 00:29:43,827 SCANDANAVIAN SLIGHTLY PERVERTEDDED VERSION OF A 458 00:29:43,862 --> 00:29:47,344 ROMANTIC COMEDY, YOU KNOW, I GREW UP LIKE ONE COUNTRY FROM 459 00:29:47,379 --> 00:29:54,344 THE SERIOUS IG MAR BERGNAN SO IT GETS RATHER MEL AN ALCOHOLIC BUT 460 00:29:54,379 --> 00:29:56,758 IT IS A FILM ABOUT A YOUNG PERSON, JULYY TRYING TO FIGURE 461 00:29:56,793 --> 00:30:01,517 OUT HER LOVE LIFE, HER IDENTITY, HER SENSE OF SELF REALLY AND IT 462 00:30:01,551 --> 00:30:04,172 IS A LONG WINDING JOURNEY WHERE SHE ENGAGES WITH SEVERAL 463 00:30:04,206 --> 00:30:10,482 CHARACTERS AND TRIES TO FIGURE OUT IN THE SCENE YOU JUST SAW 464 00:30:10,517 --> 00:30:13,448 SHE JUST CRASHED A PARTY, A WEDDING PARTY AND MEETS A GUY 465 00:30:13,482 --> 00:30:18,551 AND SAID I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP, I'M MORN OG NEWS AND SHE SAYS I 466 00:30:18,586 --> 00:30:21,758 CAN'T CHEAT AND HE SAID I AM THE SAME AND THEY START THIS WHOLE 467 00:30:21,793 --> 00:30:27,034 GAME OF LIKE WHAT COULD WE TELL EACH OTHER A DEEPLY-- WHAT IF WE 468 00:30:27,068 --> 00:30:31,034 SMELL EACH OTHER'S ARMPITS, YOU KNOW, THEY DO THESE WEIRD THINGS 469 00:30:31,068 --> 00:30:34,448 ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. >> CAN I BIETD YOU, OR DOES HE 470 00:30:34,482 --> 00:30:37,655 SAY CAN I BITE AND SHE BITES HIM. 471 00:30:37,689 --> 00:30:41,482 >> SHE JUST BITES HIM. >> IT IS SO GOOD. 472 00:30:41,517 --> 00:30:43,517 >> WELCOME TO NORWAY. BUT NOW YOU BOTH HAVE SOMETHING 473 00:30:43,551 --> 00:30:47,034 IN COMMON. YOU BOTH HAVE A LOVE FOR THE 474 00:30:47,068 --> 00:30:50,517 MOVIE BACK TO THE FUTURE. ADAM, WHAT IS IT ABOUT BACK TO 475 00:30:50,551 --> 00:30:55,793 THE FUTURE, WHY DOES THIS FILM HAVE SCUCH A SPECIAL PLACE. 476 00:30:55,827 --> 00:30:58,310 >> I FEEL LIKE AT THE SAGE TRK HIT US AT THE SAME TIME. 477 00:30:58,344 --> 00:31:02,655 FOR ME IT WAS THE SUMMER BEFORE I STARTED MIDDLE SCHOOL. 478 00:31:02,689 --> 00:31:07,103 AND I DECIDED YOU KNOW BEFORE YOU'RE STARTING A BIG STEP LIKE 479 00:31:07,137 --> 00:31:09,827 MIDDLE SCHOOL, YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT LIKE HOW YOU ARE GOING TO 480 00:31:09,862 --> 00:31:14,655 SHOW UP FOR THAT FIRST DAY. AND I DECIDED I WOULD SHAKE MY 481 00:31:14,689 --> 00:31:18,758 ENTIRE IDENTITY AROUND MARLTY McFLY AFTER I SAW THAT MOVIE. 482 00:31:18,793 --> 00:31:26,896 SO I GOT A SKATEBOARD. I GOT, HIS EXACT OUTFIT BUT LIKE 483 00:31:26,931 --> 00:31:29,724 THE BUDGET MER VINES VERSION OF THE WHOLE THING. 484 00:31:29,758 --> 00:31:33,206 AND WENT TO SCHOOL HOPING I COULD PULL, HOLD ON TO THE BACK 485 00:31:33,241 --> 00:31:37,931 OF CARS ON MY SKATEBOARD AND MAKE MY WAY TO SCHOOL BUT THAT 486 00:31:37,965 --> 00:31:40,103 IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND MY MOM SAID NO. 487 00:31:40,137 --> 00:31:43,724 AND I COULDN'T REALLY RIDE A SKATEBOARD VERY WELL, I KNOW YOU 488 00:31:43,758 --> 00:31:48,000 ARE A PROSCAILT BORDER, RIGHT. BUT I HAD TO RIDE ALL THE WAY TO 489 00:31:48,034 --> 00:31:50,896 SCHOOL ON MY KNEES ON THE SKATEBOARD SO I GOT THERE AND I 490 00:31:50,931 --> 00:31:55,206 WAS SWEATY. AND IN MY MIND I PICTURED LIKE A 491 00:31:55,241 --> 00:31:59,724 HERO'S WELCOME WHEN I WALKED ON TO CAMPUS THAT I WOULD LOOK AND 492 00:31:59,758 --> 00:32:03,275 BEHAVE LIKE MARTY McFLY AND IT DIDN'T TURN OUT THAT WAY. 493 00:32:03,310 --> 00:32:05,896 >> I HATED IT, WHENEVER-- I HATED IT. 494 00:32:05,931 --> 00:32:11,000 IS WITH THE KID WHO LAID DOWN. IT WAS AWFUL. 495 00:32:11,034 --> 00:32:14,413 >> I COULD NEVER DO IT. >> BUT IT INSPIRES YOU, YOU ARE 496 00:32:14,448 --> 00:32:17,344 A BRILLIANT SKATEBOARDER. >> NOT ANY MORE, MY FRIEND. 497 00:32:17,379 --> 00:32:20,586 >> BUT BACK TO THE FUTURE IS A BIG. 498 00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:23,862 >> ACTUALLY, IT IS A FACT, BACK TO THE FUTURE, MARTY McFLY IS 499 00:32:23,896 --> 00:32:27,931 YOU KNOW, MICHAEL J FOX CHARACTER IS LIKE SKATEBOARD TO 500 00:32:27,965 --> 00:32:31,241 SCHOOL AND CREATED WHAT IS KNOWN AS THE THIRD WAVE OF 501 00:32:31,275 --> 00:32:33,000 SKATEBOARDING. I WANTED A SKATE BOARD MORE THAN 502 00:32:33,034 --> 00:32:35,758 ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. THE PROBLEM WAS THAT THE 503 00:32:35,793 --> 00:32:39,517 NORWEGIAN GOVERNMENT HAD DECIDED TO BAN SKATE BOARDING THROUGHOUT 504 00:32:39,551 --> 00:32:42,448 THE '80S. THEY HAD THIS IDEA THAT TOYS 505 00:32:42,482 --> 00:32:45,965 THAT WERE DANGEROUS LIKE A DOLL THAT WOULD CATCH FIRE BY ITSELF, 506 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:49,034 OBVIOUSLY YOU BAN IT BUT THEY PUT SKATEBOARDING INTO THE LOT. 507 00:32:49,068 --> 00:32:54,344 SO SUDDENLY WE HAD TO SMUGGLE IT FROM SWEDEN. 508 00:32:54,379 --> 00:32:57,413 >> THAT MAKES IT EVEN COOLER. >> THAT IS THE POINT, THE 509 00:32:57,448 --> 00:33:02,586 NORWEGIAN MIDDLE CLASS LIFE, CHAISESSED BY THE COPS, BEING A 510 00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:06,689 REBEL SO THAT IS PRETTY AWESOME BUT THEN IT TURNED IN '89, 511 00:33:06,724 --> 00:33:09,758 SUDDENLY IT BECAME LEGALIZED AND THERE WEREN'T SO MANY OF US THAT 512 00:33:09,793 --> 00:33:14,068 HAD SKATED. AND SO I BECAME A CHAMPION OF SKATEBOARDING, THE 513 00:33:14,103 --> 00:33:17,551 SAME IN CALIFORNIA, I READ THRASHER MALLING, I WAS COOL, 514 00:33:17,586 --> 00:33:19,724 YOU KNOW. >> DID YOU COME TO SANTA CRUZ, 515 00:33:19,758 --> 00:33:27,241 THAT IS WHERE I CREW GREW UP. >> ABSOLUTELY. 516 00:33:27,275 --> 00:33:29,689 >> I STARTED, YOU DON'T FLOW THIS. 517 00:33:29,724 --> 00:33:37,758 >> I HAD A ROB-- THAT IS THE ONE I RODE ON MY KNEE. 518 00:33:37,793 --> 00:33:45,206 >> YOU WILL TO ROB-- . >> I DID START DOING SKATE BOARD 519 00:33:45,241 --> 00:33:48,413 VIDEOS, THAT GOT ME INTO MOVIES, IT IS A BIT A FULL CYCLE. 520 00:33:48,448 --> 00:33:51,931 >> James: AND IT IS ALL THANKS TO BACK TO THE FUTURE AND WHAT A 521 00:33:51,965 --> 00:33:58,206 GLORIOUS THING THAT IS. PLEASE THANK ADAM SCOOT, JOACHIM 522 00:33:58,241 --> 00:34:00,241 TRIER, MARIA BAMFORD IS HERE WHEN WE GET BACK, DON'T GI G 523 00:34:08,034 --> 00:34:09,447 >> James: WELCOME BACK, OUR NEXT GUEST SAY BRILLIANT STAND 524 00:34:09,482 --> 00:34:12,310 UP COMEDIAN, WE ARE THRILLED SHE ST HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU 525 00:34:12,344 --> 00:34:15,413 CAN CATCH HER NEXT ON THE NEW SHOW HUMAN RESOURCES WHICH IS 526 00:34:15,447 --> 00:34:18,137 STREAMING ON NETFLIX STARTING MARCH 18th, PLEASE WELCOME 527 00:34:18,172 --> 00:34:30,931 THE DELIGHTFUL MARIA BAMFORD. >> OH MY GOODNESS. 528 00:34:30,965 --> 00:34:36,688 HOW DELIGHTFUL. YOU GUYS, SOME PEOPLE LOVE LIFE. 529 00:34:36,724 --> 00:34:41,310 I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ON THE FENCE BTD WHOLE THING. 530 00:34:41,344 --> 00:34:45,275 I COULD GO AT ANY TIME. WHAT I WOULD REALLY LIKE IS A 531 00:34:45,310 --> 00:34:53,103 SHARP BELOW TO THE HEAD THAT THAT I DO NOT SEE COMINGK RIGHT? 532 00:34:53,137 --> 00:34:59,000 SURPRISE ME. MY MOM LOVED LIFE, MY MOM COULD 533 00:34:59,034 --> 00:35:00,068 SQUEEZE JOY OUT OF AN AT&T 534 00:35:00,310 --> 00:35:02,827 CUSTOMER SERVICE CALL. [ LAUGHTER] 535 00:35:02,862 --> 00:35:06,931 "SANDEEP, SO CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION? 536 00:35:06,965 --> 00:35:10,793 ARE YOU HINDU? WELL, I WAS JUST WONDERING 537 00:35:10,827 --> 00:35:12,965 BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN ON THE PHONE FOR OVER TWO HOURS, IS 538 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,931 YOUR PHONE HOT? BECAUSE MY PHONE IS HOT. 539 00:35:14,965 --> 00:35:19,068 SO, ARE YOU GOING THROUGH THE RIVER PILGRIMAGE, ARE YOU GOING 540 00:35:19,103 --> 00:35:22,931 TO THE KUMBH MELA? RIGHT, RIGHT, OF COUR-- 541 00:35:22,965 --> 00:35:26,724 I KNOW THAT BRIDGE COLLAPSED AND 40,000 PEOPLE GOT-- 542 00:35:26,758 --> 00:35:29,310 NO, I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE GOING, YOU'RE GOING! 543 00:35:29,344 --> 00:35:32,344 NO, YOU GOT TO HAVE FAITH. YOU DO. 544 00:35:32,379 --> 00:35:34,896 I WILL SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU. OF COURSE I'LL HOLD." 545 00:35:34,931 --> 00:35:42,620 UH... MY MOM UH, COULD TELL A VERY 546 00:35:42,655 --> 00:35:43,758 EXCITING STORY WITH NO DISCERNIBLE BEGINNING, MIDDLE OR 547 00:35:43,793 --> 00:35:46,206 END. [ OLDER WOMAN'S VOICE ] 548 00:35:46,241 --> 00:35:50,896 "SO HONEY, I WAS JUST IN THE ELEVATOR AND I SAW THIS YOUNG 549 00:35:50,931 --> 00:35:53,379 MAN AND I SAYS I KNOW YOU. AND HE SAYS WELL, I DON'T KNOW 550 00:35:53,413 --> 00:35:55,206 YOU. [ CACKLES ] 551 00:35:55,241 --> 00:36:02,275 IS MARILYN AND I AM ORIGINALLY FROM MARQUETTE, MICHIGAN AND MY 552 00:36:02,310 --> 00:36:06,137 SISTER-- AND HE INTERRUPTED ME, AND HE SAID NO, I JUST HAVE A 553 00:36:06,172 --> 00:36:09,827 FAMILIAR FACE, I GENUINELY DON'T KNOW YOU. 554 00:36:09,862 --> 00:36:14,931 AND I SAID, YOUR NAME IS GREG THE THIRSTY TURTLE AIRBNB 555 00:36:14,965 --> 00:36:21,793 IN 2004. AND HE SAID NOOO." 556 00:36:21,827 --> 00:36:30,689 [ LAUGHTER] [ LAUGHTER] 557 00:36:30,724 --> 00:36:34,206 CANCER AND UH, SHE DECIDED NOT TO HAVE ANY MORE TREATMENT, AND 558 00:36:34,241 --> 00:36:37,000 WENT ON HOSPICE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE SEEN 559 00:36:37,034 --> 00:36:38,241 HOSPICE IN ACTION. OH MY GOD, THAT IS THE BEST 560 00:36:38,275 --> 00:36:42,724 HEALTH CARE WE HAVE IN THIS COUNTRY. 561 00:36:42,758 --> 00:36:45,206 24 HOUR NURSING CARE! ALL THE MORPHINE YOU CAN EAT 562 00:36:45,241 --> 00:36:46,931 WITH NO ONE WATCHING! TREAT YOURSELF! 563 00:36:46,965 --> 00:36:54,517 GO HOSPICE! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 564 00:36:54,551 --> 00:36:57,758 [ OLDER WOMAN'S VOICE ] "YOU KNOW, THE GREAT THING ABOUT 565 00:36:57,793 --> 00:37:01,103 THIS PAST COUPLE OF YEARS, IT HAS BEEN THE FIRST TIME IN MY 566 00:37:01,137 --> 00:37:03,586 LIFEHAVE I BEEN BELOW GOAL SO MY MEMBERSHIP HAS BEEN 567 00:37:03,620 --> 00:37:09,793 GRATIS." MOM, YOU DO KNOW THAT EVEN IF A 568 00:37:09,827 --> 00:37:17,344 COFFIN IS TIGHT AROUND THE HIPS EVENTUALLY IT FITS? 569 00:37:17,379 --> 00:37:18,931 [ OLDER WOMAN'S VOICE ] "OH HONEY, DON'T DO THAT ONE, 570 00:37:18,965 --> 00:37:24,724 THAT IS NOT A GOOD ONE." BUT THE JOKE IS ON ME BECAUSE 571 00:37:24,758 --> 00:37:33,793 SHE GOT HERSELF CREMATED AND NOW SHE'S JUST A POUND! 572 00:37:33,827 --> 00:37:43,655 THE COUNTRY I TAKE HER OUT AT NORDSTROM SHOE DEPARTMENTS. 573 00:37:43,689 --> 00:37:50,896 [ LAUGHTER] [ LAUGHTER] 574 00:37:50,931 --> 00:37:55,344 WERE TOGETHER 60 YEARS, MY DAD WAS HEARTBROKEN AND HE BROUGHT 575 00:37:55,379 --> 00:37:58,862 OUT A BOX UH, FROM THEIR BEDROOM AND HE SHOWED THE CONTENTS TO 576 00:37:58,896 --> 00:38:03,827 MYSELF AND MY SISTER. INSIDE WERE A LARGE PURPLE 577 00:38:03,862 --> 00:38:08,827 PLASTIC... VIBRATOR [BLEEP] AND A BUTTERFLY STYLE VIBRATOR WITH 578 00:38:08,862 --> 00:38:14,206 A REMOTE AND HE SAID, [ OLD MAN'S SHAKY VOICE ] 579 00:38:14,241 --> 00:38:21,827 HAVE WANT YOU GIRLS-- [ LAUGHTER] 580 00:38:21,862 --> 00:38:30,689 [ LAUGHTER] "BUT YES, FATHER, I'LL TAKE 581 00:38:30,724 --> 00:38:36,482 THESE AS AN HEIRLOOM AND I WILL PASS THESE DOWN-- 582 00:38:36,517 --> 00:38:41,241 FROM GENERATION-- TO GENERATION." 583 00:38:41,275 --> 00:38:42,241 THANK YOU SO MUCH. MISS YOU, MOM. 584 00:38:42,275 --> 00:38:47,000 [APPLAUSE] [APPLAUSE]. 585 00:38:47,034 --> 00:38:50,655 >> James: OH MY WORD. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MARIA 586 00:38:50,689 --> 00:38:51,793 BAMFORD. CHECK IT OUT, "HUMAN RESOURCES" 587 00:38:51,827 --> 00:38:53,931 ON NETFLIX MARCH 18th. WE'LL BE RIGHT BAK, EVERYBODY. 588 00:38:53,965 --> 00:38:54,448 OH WOW! EVERYBODY. 589 00:39:08,034 --> 00:39:10,931 ♪ ♪ >> James: WHAT WAS THAT? 590 00:39:10,965 --> 00:39:13,827 >> Reggie: WE WERE BUILDING A SONG. 591 00:39:13,862 --> 00:39:15,862 >> James: WE CAN'T WAITTO HEAR. TAKE US HOME.