♪ ARE YOU READY TO HAVE SOME FUP.
TO HAVE SOME FUN, ♪ ON THE SHOW TONIGHT,
DON'T YOU WORRY BABY ♪ WHERE YOU COME FROM,
IT'LL BE ALRIGHT, ♪ IT'S "THE LATE LATE SHOW!"
>> Reggie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ALL THE WAY FROM
INSIDE A GIGANTIC JAR OF MARINADE-- GIVE IT UP FOR YOUR
HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY JAMES CORDEN!
>> James: HOW ARE YOU, THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY.
CHEESIER, GUYS. HELLO, GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME
TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW." THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY.
SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE HERE, LET'S SEE, EVERYBODY-- THANK YOU.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AND SEE WHO OUR GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT. TOGETHER THEY ARE THE COMEDY
POWERHOUSE COUPLE BEHIND FILMS LIKE "TAMMY,"
SUPERINTELLIGENCE," "THE BOSS," AND SO MUCH MORE, THE ABSOLUTELY
HILARIOUS, THE LEGENDARY, MELISSA MCCARTHY AND BEN
FALCONE! ARE HERE TONIGHT.
THERE THEY ARE, HEY CHANGE. HOW ARE YOU?
>> ALL GOOD? >> YEAH, WE'RE GOOD.
>> James: HOW IS LIFE? >> YOU KNOW, JUST SIPPING SOME
JUICE. >> James: OH NO.
>> YOU LOOK JAZZY. >> James: DASHING.
>> James: YOU BOTH LOOK DASHING.
WHAT ARE WE DRINKING IN THOSE COFFEE CUPS.
>> THERE SAY 98% CHANCE THAT THERE IS FILLED WITH SCOTCH.
>> James: MELISSA SAID THAT TO ME ONCE, I WAS A PARTY, A VERY
GLAMOROUS PARTY AND SHE FINISHED A DRINK AND I WENT WHAT WAS THAT
AND SHE WENT SCOTCH! >> HE'S ON BRAND.
>> James: I'M SO HAPPY ARE YOU BOTH HERE, THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE, I AM THRILLED THAT WE GET TO TALK LATER, MELISSA
McCARTHY AN BEN FALCONE, EVERYBODY!
HE'S A GRAMMY NOMINATED SINGER, SONGWRITER AND COMPOSER, HIS
BRAND-NEW ALBUM "RUFUS DOES JUDY AT CAPITOL STUDIOS," IS OUT
RIGHT NOW. WE LOVE IT EVERY TIME HE COMES
TO VISIT, THE DASHING, THE GLORIOUS, RUFUS WAINWRIGHT!
IS HERE TONIGHT, RUFUS. >> HELLO.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU. >> I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
>> James: I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
>> I'M SO HAPPY-- I'M ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE YOU.
>> James: I LOVE THIS JACKET. TALK ME THROUGH IT.
>> WELL, I CERTAINLY CELEBRATED JUDY GARLAND'S 100th
BIRTHDAY. >> James: YES.
>> IN NEW YORK, SO IT WAS AN OPPORTUNITY TO GO OUT AND SPEND
A LOT OF MONEY ON A JACKET I CAN'T AFFORD.
SO THIS IS IT. >> James: WELL, IT WAS WORTH
EVERY SINGLE PENNY. YOU ALWAYS MIX GLAMOR WITH A
SORT OF. >> GLARYM AND POVERTY.
>> James: THAT'S IT, THAT IS THE ABSOLUTELY MIX AND I LOVE
IT. I LOVE IT ALL.
AND I LOVE YOU, RUFUS WAINWRIGHT, EVERYBODY.
ARE YOU READY? THAN LET'S, I'M JAMES CORDEN AND
THIS, THIS IS THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
ROLL THE TITLES. COME ON,
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH
THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO! ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH
THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH! ♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪
♪ IT SRNL IS, BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, HOW ARE YOU DOING,
HOW WAS THE WEEKEND KARM. >> GOOD WEEKEND.
>> James: SOLID. >> SOLID ONE, WENT TO A BABY
SHOWER. >> James: OOH, SORRY TO HEAR,
THAT MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU AT THIS TIFF TIME.
>> I'M ALL FOR THE PROGRESSION OF CIVILIZATION, OF SOCIETY IN
EVERY WAY BUT I THINK IF THERE IS ONE THING WE COULD SWITCH
BACK TO LIKE THE 1950S IT IS BABY SHOWERS.
WOMEN SHOULD GO. >> James: I COULDN'T AGREE
MORE. >> YEAH.
I SHOULDN'T BE THERE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
>> James: GAMES. >> THEY PLAY GAMED.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> James: WHAT?
WHAT EVEN IS THIS. DID YOU PLAY GAMES.
>> I PLAYED A GAME WHICH WAS LET'S NOT HAVE MY FIANCE'S
FRIENDS HATE ME. AND I-- I THINK I WON BUT I
DON'T KNOW YET. >> James: HEY, MELISSA
McQUARTY, BEN FALL CONE ON THE SHOW, THEY ARE MARRIED
THEY'RE MARRIED AND HAVE MADE SEVERAL FILMS TOGETHER.
IAN, COULD YOU GO TO WORK EVERYDAY WITH YOUR FIANCE?
>> I COULD. I DON'T KNOW THAT SHE WOULD BE
THAT INTO IT. >> James: YOU WOULD BE IN TO
WORK WITH HER ALL DAY. >> YEAH, SHE'S GREAT.
>> NO. >> YOU WOULDN'T DO IT.
>> James: NOT A CHANCE. >> YOU COULDN'T WORK WITH YOUR
WIFE ALL DAY. >> NOT A CHANCE.
I WOULD RATHER PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE FOR AN HOUR.
AND IT WOULD BE THE SAME EXPERIENCE.
BECAUSE SHE WEANED UP PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE FOR AN HOUR.
>> WELL, I GUESS WE JUST HAVE A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. >> I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD GRET A
PROWRESTLING CROWD. I THOUGHT THAT WOULD READ IN THE
JOKE IN THE SPIRIT IN WHICH IT WAS INTENDED AND THEY ARE ACTING
LIKE I JUST PULLED OUT A CHAIR. >> James: THEY ABSOLUTELY KNOW
THAT THAT IS BULL [BLEEP]. THEY KNOW THAT ONE OF US IS
TELLING THE TRUTH AND THE OTHER IS LYING BECAUSE HE'S GETTING
MARRIED IN SEPTEMBER. THAT'S WHAT I THINK.
>> ASK ME AGAIN IN OCTOBER. I WILL TELL YOU.
>> James: I WANT TO YOU-- THEN COME BACK, LET'S SEE THEN.
LOOK, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY BUT WE CAN'T,
IT'S TIME FOR, THE NEWS. AT THE JANUARY SIXTH HEARINGS
TODAY, IT WAS REVEALED THAT ON ELECTION NIGHT 2020, PRESIDENT
TRUMP WAS GUIDED BY AN, "INEBRIATED" RUDY GIULIANI.
HAVE A LOOK: PRESIDENT TRUMP REJECTED THE
ADVICE OF HIS CAMPAIGN EXPERTS ON ELECTION NIGHT AND INSTEAD
FOLLOWED THE COURSE RECOMMENDED BY AN APPARENTLY INEBRIATED RUDY
GIULIANI. TO JUST CLAIM HE WON AND INSIST
THAT THE VOTE COUNTING STOP. >> James: SO WE'RE JUST GOING
TO BLAME THIS ENTIRE THING WE'RE GOING TO BLAME THIS ENTIRE
THING, ON THE ALCOHOL. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
A DRUNK RUDY GIULIANNI TOLD TRUMP TO CLAIM HE WON THE
ELECTION. THEN HE SAID I LOVE YOU, MAN,
SIX TIMES, AND DROPPED HIS PHONE IN THE TOILET.
I'VE HAD SOME HANGOVERS IN MY DAY, I HAVE.
BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE, DO YOU THINK THE NEXT DAY HE JUST SATIS
THERE CRUSHING A BURRITO DRINKING A PEDIALYTE LIKE DUDE,
I CANNOT BLEECH I CALLED THE INTEGRITIES OF THE AMERICAN
ELECTION SYSTEM INTO QUESTION. I HAVE GOT TO STOP DRINKING
FIREBALL. I HAVE GROT TO STOP.
IN OTHER POLITICAL NEWS, REMEMBER WHEN DONALD TRUMP
STARTED HIS TWITTER ALTERNATIVE TRUTH SOCIAL AND PROMOTED IT AS
A PLACE FREE FROM POLITICAL DISCRIMINATION?
WELL, GUESS WHAT? TRUTH SOCIAL IS NOW BANNING
USERS WHO POST ABOUT THE JANUARY SIXTH HEARINGS.
THAT'S IT. I'M DELETING MY TRUTH SOCIAL
ACCOUNT. HONESTLY, I'M PRETTY SURE TRUMP
THINKS THAT TRUTH IS JUST A FUN, SILICON VALLEY NONSENSE WORD
LIKE GOOGLE OR YAHOO. S WHAT A IT GOING TO BE FOR.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THE JANUARY SIXTH
HEARINGS? WHAT ELSE ARE MEMBERS OF TRUTH
SOCIAL POSTING ABOUT? HOW FABULOUS PATTI LUPONE WAS AT
THE TONY'S LAST NIGHT? AMAZING, BY THE WAY.
FLAWLESS, FLAWLESS. DID YOU WATCH, DID YOU WATCH THE
TORN EAST LAST NIGHT. >> I DIDN'T WATCH THE TON EAST.
>> James: WHAT? >> I KNOW, I KNOW.
JAMES, IT WAS PRIDE WEEKEND SO I WAS REALLY TORN BETWEEN PRIDE
PARTIES AND THE TON EAST. >> James: YOU DIDN'T WATCH THE
TONY AWARDS. >> NO.
>> James: I DID THE WHOLE THING, I DID THE CBS BIT THEN I
ALSO WATCHED THE PARAMOUNT PLUS BIT AND ITS ENTIRE SHOW WAS
SENSATIONAL. I HAVE TO SAIRKS A BRILLIANT
SHOW, IT WAS AMAZING. LAWS PLAWS IT REALLY, REALLY
WAS. IS.
>> I'M A HEATIO SHALL-- HETEROSEXUAL MAN, I
CAN'T CLAIM TO KNOW MUCH ABOUT PRIDE BUT I FEEL YOU COULD FIND
A PRIDE PARTY THAT HAD THE TONYS ON.
>> IS THE WHOLE SHOW ON PARAMOUNT PLUS OR JUST THE FIRST
HOUR, NICK, DO YOU KNOW. >> IT SHOULD ALL BE ON THERE BUT
I WOULD HAVE TO DOUBLE CHECK TO CONFIRM.
I'M SURE WE CAN GET IT FOR YOU. >> James: DOUBLE CHECK.
>> YEAH, WE'LL CHECK THAT. HANG ON.
SORRY, I OPENED UP MY 401(K). >> James: OKAY, YOU LET ME
KNOW, CHIME IN, THE WHOLE TONY AWARDS, CANNOT RECOMMEND IT
ENOUGH. A WONDERFUL PERFORMANCES.
>> 75th RIGHT? >> James: YEAH, ALL RIGHT,
NICK, I'M TRYING TO CARRY ON WITH THE SHOW.
ACCORDING TO A "NEW YORK TIMES" REPORT OVER THE WEEKEND,
DEMOCRATS ARE WEIGHING WHETHER PRESIDENT BIDEN SHOULD DECLINE
TO RUN FOR REELECTION IN 2024. RIGHT.
GO OUT ON A HIGH NOTE. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO
ACCOMPLISH? MEANWHILE, THINGS ARE A LITTLE
AWKWARD AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE. JOE BIDEN IS LIKE, "WHAT DID YOU
GUYS TALK ABOUT AT BRUNCH?" AND DEMOCRATS ARE LIKE, "OH, YOU
KNOW, STUFF." PARTY OFFICIALS ARE FRUSTRATED
BY LAGGING ENTHUSIASM HEADING INTO THE 2022 MIDTERM ELECTIONS.
THE DEMOCRATS NEED EXCITEMENT, THEY NEED A SHOT OF ENERGY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? TOM CRUISE/MILES TELLER TICKET?
STRAIGHT OFF THE BACK MUCH TOP GUN PAF RICK WHAT WHAT THEIR BE.
>> FLY FAST, PUNCH HARD AND DON'T ASK US ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT
OUR PENNAL LIVES. (LAUGHTER)
>> OR PARAMOUNT, THE WHOLE SHOW. >> THE WHOLE SHOW.
>> >> James: MOVING ON, AS YOU MAY
REMEMBER, McDONALD'S STOPPED DOING BUSINESS IN RUSSIA
FOLLOWING THE INVASION OF UKRAINE.
SO A McDONALD'S FRANCHISE OWNER PURCHASED THE RESTAURANTS AND
HAS JUST REOPENED THEM UNDER A NEW BRAND.
THE NEW BRAND NAME TRANSLATES TO "TASTY AND THAT'S IT."
LEAVE IT TO VLADIMIR PUTIN'S RUSSIA TO MAKE BURGERS AND FRIES
SOUND LIKE SOME KIND OF IMPLIED THREAT.
TASTY AND THAT'S IT AND THAT'S NOT ALL, HERE IS THE NEW LOGO.
HERE'S THE NEW LOGO: AND HERE'S THE NEW SLOGAN,
"BA-DA-BA-BA-BA I'M LOVIN' IT. OR THE POLICE WILL DRAG ME AWAY
TO AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION." AND A PEST CONTROL COMPANY IN
NORTH CAROLINA IS OFFERING $2,000 IF YOU VOLUNTEER YOUR
HOUSE SO THEY CAN STUDY A NEW PEST-REMOVAL TECHNIQUE.
TO GET THE MONEY, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LET THEM RELEASE ONE
HUNDRED COCKROACHES INTO YOUR HOUSE.
IT SEEMS TELLING THAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR HOMES TO
TEST THIS OUT ON, INSTEAD OF, I DON'T KNOW THEIR OWN OFFICE.
THE WAY IT WORKS IS SIMPLE - THEY GIVE YOU TWO-THOUSAND
DOLLARS TO LET THEM PUT A HUNDRED COCKROACHES IN YOUR
HOME, AND THEN IF YOU WANT THEM TO FIND ALL HUNDRED COCKROACHES,
THEY CHARGE YOU $3,000. THEY'RE LOOKING FOR FIVE TO
SEVEN HOMES TO DO THIS, WHICH MEANS SOMEWHERE, THERE'S A GUY
WITH LIKE SEVEN-HUNDRED COCKROACHES, JUST WAITING.
READY? OKAY, GREAT.
WHAT PRICE WHAT PRICE WOULD YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO, THIS A HUNDRED
COCKROACHES INTO YOUR HOUSE. $2000 TO HAVE FIFTY FEWER
COCKROACHES THAN ARE ALREADY IN MY HOUSE.
>> James: HAVE YOU GOT AN ISSUE, HAVE YOU.
>> I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE COCKROACH, JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE FUNNY, I HAVE ANTS THOUGH, BOY I HAVE ANTS.
CAREFUL, JUST KEEP EVERYTHING CLEAN, MAN, KEEP IT CLEAN, I HAD
PROBLEMS AND I JUST HAD TO WASH OUT EVERY CONTAINER, PUT IT IN
THE GARBAGE, MAKE SURE IT IS SEALED AND PUT VINEGAR AND
CINNAMON ON ITS WINDOW SILLS. >> James: NO OTHER LATE NIGHT
SHOW IS GIVING YOU THIS. >> James: THAT'S THE TRUTH OF
IT, THAT IS THE TRUTH OF IT. COT-- COLBERT SPENT 20 MINUTES
ON RUDY GIULIANI, THAT IS GREAT, THAT IS THE BIG STUFF, US, WE'RE
HELP HADDING YOU IN YOUR HOME. >> James: AND FINALLY, CHRIS
EVANS WENT TO DISNEYLAND OVER THE WEEKEND TO CELEBRATE THE
RELEASE OF HIS NEW FILM, "LIGHTYEAR," AND THE PHOTOS WERE
SO AWKWARD, HE ACTUALLY HAD TO GO ON TWITTER TO EXPLAIN THAT HE
WASN'T PHOTOSHOPPED INTO THEM. HERE HE IS HERE.
AND HERE. HE LOOKS LIKE MICKEY'S ADULT SON
FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE. IT'S AN IMPORTANT LESSON TO ALL
MEN OVER FORTY, THOUGH. IF CHRIS EVANS CAN'T PULL OFF
GOING TO DISNEYLAND BY HIMSELF, YOU CERTAINLY CAN'T.
BUT THE PICTURES WEREN'T PHOTOSHOPPED.
CHRIS EVANS WAS REALLY THERE JUST LIKE HE WAS AT, FRIDAY'S
WARRIORS/CELTICS GAME. AND, AT THE JANUARY 6 HEARINGS.
AND OF COURSE, HERE HE IS IN LONDON.
AND THAT'S THE NEWS! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> James: WELCOME BACK. >> James: LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS
TONIGHT HE PLAYS "CLARK THOMPSON' IN "GOD'S FAVORITE
IDIOT," BEN FALCONE! >> Reggie: IT'S BEN FALL CONE
OF THE FALL QUOAN-- FALL CONE DYNASTY.
>> James: HAV A SEAT, PLEASE. SHE PLAYS "AMILY," IN "GOD'S
FAVORITE IDIOT," MELISSA MCCARTHY!
>> Reggie: IT'S MELISSA McCARTHY OF THE McCARTHY
FOUNDATION. >> James: LOOK AT US, LOOK AT
US. NOW I'M SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE,
I'M THRILLED THAT YOU ARE HERE TOGETHER.
YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS,OKAY, IN SHOW BUSINESS,
THAT IS A HUNDRED YEARS N SHOW BUSINESS YEARS.
LET'S GO BACK TO THE START. >> OKAY.
>> James: WHO ASKED WHO OUT. THEN WHO MADE THE FIRST MOVE?
WHAT HATCHED? >> WELL, WE WERE AT GROUNDLINGS
A THEATRE HERE IN L.A AND WE WOULD GO OUT FOR BEERS AT
THIS LITTLE DIVE BAR AFTER EVERY REHEARSAL.
>> CALLED MAKE TIPS ON. >> MELROSE SOUTH SIDE AND WE
REALIZED THAT WE WERE STAYING FAR LATER THAN EVERYONE ELSE
BECAUSE WE WANTED AN EXCUSE TO HANG OUT TOGETHER.
>> EVERYBODY WAS GOING AND WELL, IF YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE
ANOTHER ONE CUZ YOU'RE NOT GOING TO, IF YOU WOULD, I WOULD, AND
BASICALLY BAY MONTH AND A HALF IN WE'RE LIKE SO WE'RE JUST
RAGING INTO ALCOHOLISM, WE SHOULD JUST DATE BECAUSE
OTHERWISE-- . >> JUST HANGING OUT.
>> James: DID THAT CONVERSATION EVER COME UP, WERE
YOU LIKE HE'S EITHER INTO ME OR HE JUST WANTS SOMEONE SO HE
DOESN'T DRINK ALONE, IS THAT RIGHT?
>> I KNEW I WAS PRETTY SWEET ON HIM FOR SURE, FROM DAY ONE.
LIKE HE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHERE I LIKE YOU, THAT IS IT, I'M
DONE. I'M DONE SHOPPING.
>> IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME. >> James: NOW FATHER'S DAY
COMING UP THIS WEEKEND. ARE YOU SORTED, MELISSA FOR THE
WEEKEND. I HAVE HEARD YOU TALK BEFORE,
YOU SAID IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO SHOP FOR.
>> IMPOSSIBLE. >> James: SO WHAT IS THE PLAN.
>> IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. THE OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT TOO.
>> James: YOU HAVE FIGURED OUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO.
>> SURE. >> HOW OLD ARE YOUR DAUGHTERS.
>> 15 AND 12. >> James: SO.
>> NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU NOW, NOT MY FATHER, CORRECT.
>> James: CORRECT. BUT YOU COULD GET HIM SOMETHING
FOR HIS NEW HOBBY. BECAUSE YOU DO HAVE A NEW HOBBY,
BEN FALL CONE. >> I DO HAVE A NEW HOBBY.
>> James: YOU ARE WOULD INTO CYCLING, I'M WORRIED WHEN I HEAR
THIS? >> WHY.
>> James: WHEN SOMEONE SAYS I'VE GOT INTO SIEBLGING, I AM
LIKE OKAY, CUZ I LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING INTO RIDING A BIKE.
AS SOON AS SOMEONE SAYS THEY'RE INTO CYCLING I AM AW NOW
IMAGINING YOU IN BEING ONE OF THOSE DUDES I AVOID IN A COFFEE
SHOP WHO IS FULL OF LIKE RA, HELMET STILL ON, CLIP CLOPPING
AROUND, LOOKING FOR OAT MILK LIKE ON THE HANDS FREE AND LIKE
BRO, YOU'RE NOT IN THE TOUR DE FRANCE.
WHERE A T-SHIRT AND SHORTS. >> HE HAS A LIKE RA SHIRT STRKS
MY FAULT, I GET HIM ALL LIKE RA, I LIKE IT KEEP IT TIME AND IT
SAYS SORRY AND ON THE BACK AS HE PASSES IT SAYS NOT SORRY.
I WAS LIKE IF YOU ACTUALLY WEAR THAT, IT SAYS SO MUCH.
>> THE ONLY ISSUE IS I DO NOT PASS ANYONE.
I GO UP THE SAME MOUNTAIN AND ALL THESE OLD GUYS PASS ME EVERY
DAY. >> James: WHAT PROMISED THIS.
ARE YOU FULL LIKE RA. >> YEAH, IN FACT, I HAVE
REALIZED THE OTHER DAY THAT ONLY MY KNEES ARE GETTING SUN
STAND-- SUNTANNED BECAUSE YOU HAVE THESE THINGS ON AND DOWN
HERE IT IS LIKE, BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE CON
TENANT-- CONSTANTLY GOING UP. I'M THIS WEIRD GUY WITH TAN
KNEES. SO YEAH, I'VE GOT IT SORT OF
HAPPENED PIECE BY PIECE BECAUSE AT FIRST ARE YOU IN SWEATPANTS
AND EVERYBODY IS GOING FASTER AND MAYBE I NEED SHORTS.
AND SO THEN YOU HAVE THESE WEIRD SHORKTS WELL, MAYBE MY SHIRT
NEEDS A POCKET. NOW I GOT THIS WEIRD SHIRT, AND
WELL, I WILL JUST GO. >> WHAT DO YOU KEEP IN YOUR
POCKET. >> I KEEP WURTHRE'S CANDY IN MY
POCKET BECAUSE WHEN I GET TO THE TOP LIKE EVERY PROFESSIONAL
ATHLETE I HAVE A WERTHERS. I HAVE A BUTTER SCOTCH CANDY.
>> James: HOW FAR ARE YOU RIDING I GO, YOU KNOW, IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD OF 15 MILES. >> James: RIGHT.
>> BUT IT'S UP. >> IT'S UP A HILL, A LOT ASK UP
A HILL. >> GOOD [BLEEP]
>> James: MEL ACA YOU HAVE ALSO BECOME OBSESSED WITH
SOMETHING. >> PROBABLY.
>> James: AND I'M INTO THIS. YOU HAVE BECOME OBSESSED WITH
COLLECTING PORTRAITS. THIS IS A WALL IN YOUR HOUSE.
>> YES. >> James: YOU CORRECT
PORTRAITS. YOU DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE.
>> NO, BUT SOMEBODY-- SOMEBODY HAS TO SAVE THEM.
ST A PICTURE OF SOMEONE I'M LIKE WHY DOES NO ONE IN THEIR FAMILY
HAVE THIS PORTRAIT, SO I'M LIKE, THEN USUALLY IT IS A FLEE MARKET
AND I'M LIKE HMMMM, I SHOULDN'T, BEN HATES THEM AND I CIRCLE BACK
AND I'M LIKE ARE YOU LONELY, CATHY, DO YOU WANT TO COME TO
THE VALLEY WITH ME AND THEN I THINK ABOUT WHO THEY ARE AND
THEN I BRING THEM HOME AND HAVE I TO HIDE THEM.
>> YES. >> James: BECAUSE NOW HE
TURNED THE GIRLS AGAINST ME, THEY'RE LIKE THEY'RE ALL
POSSESSED, THEY'RE HAUNTED. SO I LITERALLY SNEAK INTO MY OWN
HOUSE, ONE HAS A DOOLEE, A WOMAN ON A DORS.
>> THAT IS THE TIP OF THE HORRENDOUS ICE BHERG.
>> James: REALLY, HOW MANY. >> YOU HAVE TO HAVE 40,.
>> James: NO. >> MORE THAN THAT I WOULD SAY.
>> PROBABLY MORE THAN THAT, LIKE THAT GAL IN THE MIDDLE, I WAS
LIKE SHE IS SASSY, SHE PLAYS VOLLEYBALL ON THE WEEKENDS.
>> James: THAT IS WHERE IT DOES BECOME FUN, YOU CAN SORT OF
BE LIKE. >> I THINK THIS IS LIKE-- .
>> James: THIS PERSON FORMED THE SPICE GIRLS.
YOU CAN SORT OF MAKE UP. >> I HAVE STORE HES FOR ALL OF
THEM. I'M ALWAYS LIKE THE DAWN UP
THERE, SHE'S WORKING IN A BANK BUT SHE'S CREATIVE.
SHE LIKES TO PAINT ON THE WEEKEND.
I JUST LOVE THAT THERE IS A STORY.
>> THERE ISN'T A STORY, YOU MADE THE STORY UP, THAT THE THING.
>> HAVE I BEEN DOING THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE.
>> AND THE GIRLS DON'T LOOK IT. >> I DON'T KNOW THAT I TURNED
THEM AGAINST THE PORTRAITEDS AS MUCH AS I JUST SAIRD THEY COULD
BE HAUNTED. >> James: NOW YOUR OLDEST
DAUGHTER VIVIAN IS 16. >> 15.
>> James: 15 AND HAS SHE STARTED DRIVING YET.
IS THAT GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT DOES SHE WANT FOR A BIG
SWEET 16 PARTY, HAVE WE TALKED ABOUT THAT.
>> SHE WANTS ANOTHER GECKO OR REPTILE THAT SHE IS DEEP INTO.
WE HAVE LeFOU, THIS LITTLE LEOPARD GECKO THAT I WAS
TERRIFIED OF AND NOW I FIND MYSELF IN HER ROOM AND LIKE
LEFOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE, BUT HE IS CUTE, HE IS A
CHUNKY AND HE'S CUTE. >> James: SO ANOTHER REPTILE.
>> THAT IS WHAT SHE IS GEGHT. SHE IS GETSING FISH.
>> WE HAVE DOWN SHIFTED TO SOME FISH.
>> James: YOU HAVE TO BE SCAREFUL WITH FISH.
>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? >> James: I DON'T KNOW IF MY
KIDS ARE WATCHING. >> OH.
>> James: THE MALE MAY NOT HAVE-- MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE
REPLACED SOME FISH, IN THE NIGHT WHILST MY DAUGHTER WAS ASLEEP.
AND WHEN I SAY SO LIKE A FISH DIED, RIGHT, WE ARE LIKE OH,
THAT FISH IS D, SO GETTING KIDS OUT OF SCHOOL IN THE MORNING SAY
NIGHTMARE, IT IS LIKE A WAR ZONE.
PEOPLE ARE SCREAMING, AND SHOUTING AND YOU CAN'T GET SHOES
ON AND IT'S A NIGHTMARE. WE'RE ALL DOING STUFF.
AND THEN WE WENT AND THE FISH, BLUE GREEN COLOR AND THE ONLY
FISH YOU WE COULD FIND THAT WAS REMOTELY SIMILAR WAS RED.
SO WE BOUGHT THAT FISH AND WE PUT THAT FISH IN THE TANK AND WE
JUST STRAIGHT UP LIED TO OURSELVE ENYEAR OLD AND SAID
CARRIE, COME AND LOOK, IT'S HAPPENED.
IT'S HAPPENED, IT'S HAPPENED, HE STURNED RED.
>> OH MY. >> AND SHE WAS LIKE OH MY GOD.
>> AND WE'RE LIKE THIS IS AMAZING.
THIS IS AN AMAZING DAY, CARRIE. THIS SIN CEDABLE.
AND THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER SHE IS LIKE DID IT REALLY TURN
REDnd AND WE WERE LIKE-- . >> OH MY GOD.
>> IT WAS INCREDIBLE. STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> SO YOU WANT TO GO AT IT SO IT IS CUT UP HOT DOGS THAT I BOILED
SO LONG THAT THEIR SKIP CAME OFF, IT IS OATMEAL BECAUSE I
COULDN'T FIND THE MASHED POTATOE, I THINK ONCE YOU MIX IT
ALL UP, IT WILL BE PRETTY GOOD. >> IT LOOKS A LITTLE BIT LIKE
SEVERED FINGERS IN SUCH A FUN WAY I THOUGHT SO TOO, I THOUGHT
THEY LOOKED LIKE LITTLE FAT BLOODY TOE, I THOUGHT THAT WAS
KIND OF, YOU KNOW, FUN. >> AND A PROTEIN AND A CARB,
LIKE THE CIRCLE OF LIFE ON A PLATE.
>> AND A VEGETABLE, THE KETCHUP. >> James: THAT WAS A CLIP FROM
"GOD'S FAVORITE IDIOT," WHICH PREMIERES ON NETLFIX THIS
WEDNESDAY. CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW, I
THINK IT WILL BE A HUGE SUCCESS. >> IT'S REALLY FUN.
>> Reggie: MELISSA FOR ANYONE THAT DOESN'T KNOW, WHAT IS IT
ABOUT. >> IT IS A SHOW ABOUT A VERY
SWEET, A VERY AVERAGE MAN THAT GOD CHOOSES TO BE THE MESSENGER
AND GET THE WORD OUT AND MAKE PEOPLE KNOW THAT WE'RE ALL IN IT
TOGETHER YET DOESN'T TELL HIM HOW TO DO THAT.
AND ALSO IF YOU WERE CHOSEN BY GOD AND YOU WENT TO YOUR
NEIGHBOR AND SAID HI, I'M CLARK, I'VE BEEN CHOSEN BY GOD, PEOPLE
WOULD BE LIKE HEY CRAZY. SO IT IS LIKE HOW DO YOU GET THE
WORD OUT WHEN NO ONE BELIEVES YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO
SAY, LIKE EVERYBODY IS RIGHT AND EVERYBODY IS EQUALLY WRONG AND
IT'S REALLY FUNNY T IS JUST A BUNCH OF UNBELIEVABLY FUNNY
PEOPLE DOING VERY WEIRD THINGS. >> James: THIS SAN IDEA YOU
HAD MORE THAN 20 YEARS AGO. A LONG TIME TO HOLD ON TO AN
IDEA, WHAT WAS IT ABOUT NOW, WHY DID YOU CHOOSE TO MAKE IT NOW?
>> WELL, I WROTE A BOOK WITH THE SAME TITLE IN MY 20S.
AND THEN SORT OF SHOWED IT TO A FEW PEOPLE AND THEN WEIRDLY JUST
PUT THE BOOK IN A DRAWER AND WAS LIKE DID THAT.
>> SEE NEW 23 YEARS. >> AND THEN I THINK WHAT, THREE
YEARS AGO WE WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING FUN TO DO NEXT AND I
THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE EVEN SAID SHOULD.
>> I JUST ALWAYS LOVED THE IDEA THAT I READ IT WHEN WE FIRST MET
AND I LOVED THE IDEA THAT IT WAS LIKE IF YOU WOULD PICK SOMEBODY
T IS NOT THE BIGGEST, THE STRONGEST, THE LOUDEST T IS KIND
OF THE KINDEST, MOST TRUST WORTHY PERSON.
AND ST HARD FOR THAT PERSON TO ESPECIALLY TODAY, FOR THAT KIND
OF PERSON TO GET THE MICROPHONE, TO GET THE LIGHTS SO IT IS KIND
OF LIKE THE PERFECT SETUP FOR JUST TRYING TO GET THE WORD OUT
AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE YOU KNOW, ON THE STREET AND HE'S TRYING,
WHERE THIS WEIRD BAND OF IC WORKERS SO WE ALL KIND OF GET
INTO IT AND TRY TO HELP THEM. I DRINK TOO MUCH.
MY CHARACTER TAKES PILLS AND IF SHE IS AT ANY POINT TRYING TO
HELP. >> SHE'S NOT SUPER TRUST WORTHY.
>> I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. >> HARRY STYLES' MUSIC IS ALL
OVER THIS SHOW. >> YES.
>> NOW BEN, I KNOW THAT YOU ARE A HUGE FAN, MELISSA, ARE YOU AS
INTO HIM AS BEN IS? >> YES.
I THINK HE'S JUST GREAT. I THINK IT HE IS WILDLY TALENTED
AND I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING THAT HE SO, HE IS SUCH HIS OWN
PERSON. NOT JUST STYLE IN THE SENSE OF
FASHION BUT BEING LIKE THIS IS WHO I AM, THIS IS HOW I WANT TO
PRESENT MYSELF AND KIND OF MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD AND I THINK IT
IS SUCH A, IT IS SUCH A LOVELY THING TO SEE SOMEONE JUST BE
LIKE I'M OKAY WITH WHO I AM, AND THAT IS-- MAYBE IT IS NOT THAT
ROUGH TOUGH. >> HE IS INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE,
INCREDIBLY TALENTED, HE CAN SING AND DO ANYTHING, AND ACT.
>> HOW CAN HE DO THAT. >> NOW THAT I HAVE SAID IT OUT
LOUD. >> James: AND HIS OUTRAGEOUS
GLOBAL SUCCESS, IT IS AMAZING TO SEE.
>> ALL RIGHT, NOW IT SEEMS WEIRD.
>> James: WHAT WAS ITS DECISION IN PUTTING HIS MUSIC
ALL OVER. >> GEORGEIE OUR YOUNGEST WAS
LISTENING TO TONS OF HARRY STYLES AND PLAYING IT ON THE
PIANO AND I WAS GOING OVER THE TOP BY EVEN LISTENING TO MORE,
THAT IS NOT A NORMAL DAD THING TO DO LET'S PLAY IT AGAIN,
RERACK THIS. AND THEN I STARTED LISTENING TO
IT WHILE I WAS WRITING THE SHOWnd I JUST THOUGHT LET ME
ACTUALLY WRITE IN THE SONGS THAT I WOULD LIKE TO GET.
AND THEN WE GOT THEM. AND THAT WAS LIKE I COULDN'T
BELIEVE IT. IT WAS SORT OF, AND IT WAS,
IMPORTANT, LIKE IT ALL KIND OF MIXES AND MATCHES TOGETHER BUT
THEY CAME BACK, HARRY OR HIS TEAM CAME BACK SO FAST AND SAID
SURE. SO IT WAS AMAZING.
>> WE WERE COMPLETELY SHOCKED. >> I WAS SHOCKED.
>> James: I'M NOT SHOCKED AT ALL, IT SAY GREAT
SHOAVMENTnd AND HE SAY LOVELY BOY AND THE THREE OF YOU
SHOULD RUN OFF TIE COME UN TOGETHER.
REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUESTS THIS EVENING?
>> YES, I DO, JAMES. TONIGHT'S QUESTION GOES TO FOR
OUR GUEST THIS EVENING, THE QUESTION IS AS FOLLOWS.
IF YOU SUDDENLY WOKE UP ONE MORNING LIKE YOU WENT TO BED
NORMALLY LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO IN YOUR ROOM BUT WHEN YOU WOKE UP
YOU WOKE UP IN A ROOM THAT WAS FILLED PAR A KITEDS OR SOME
EQUIVALENT TYPE OF A COLORFUL BIRD AND MAYBE ABOUT 50 OF THEM,
AND THEY WEREN'T PARTICULARLY ACTIVE, JUST KIND OF LIKE
HANGING OUT, MAYBE WADDLING AROUND LIKE BIRDS DO.
AND MAYBE MAKING VERY SLIGHT NOISES, HOW WOULD YOU REACT?
>> I AM VERY TERRIFIED OF BIRDS, NOTHING AGAINST THEM, I WOULD
GAS PARAGRAPH, I'M SORRY, BIRD, NO.
SO I WOULD PROBABLY GET REAL JACKED UP, START CRYING, NOT
WANTING TO DISRUPT THEM AND TRY TO CLAW MY WAY OUT OF THAT ROOM.
>> AM I IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER? BECAUSE IF I WAS IN THE SAME
ROOM I THINK IT WOULD JUST BE DAMAGE CONTROL FOR THIS ONE.
AND IF I WAS IN MY OWN ROOM I THINK I WOULD QUIETLY LIKE SLINK
OUT OF THERE. I DON'T REALLY LOVE A BIRD BUT I
DON'T CARE EITHER WAY. >> James: REG.
>> Reggie: ACTUALLY THOSE ARE CORRECT ANSWERS.
>> James: THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.
PLEASE THANK OUR PHENOMENAL GUESTS MELISSA McCARTHY, BEN
FALL CONE, STICK AROUND. RUFUS WAINWRIGHT SHEER WHEN WE COME
BACK.
>> James: ONCE AGAIN, I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WATCHING VIDEOS ON
YOUTUBE AND LEARNING NEW THINGS. AND NOW I WILL SHARE SAID THINGS
WITH YOU. THIS IS, "TONIGHT I LEARNED."
FIRST UP, TONIGHT I LEARNED, HOW TO LET GO.
[BLEEP] BLEEP >> James: CLASSIC GOLF GOOF.
I LIKE THE GUY IN THE NEON SHIRT WHO JUST WATCHED HIM GO BY.
THEN WAS LIKE, NO I'M HELPING I WAS DEFINITELY HELPING THE WHOLE
TIME UP NEXT, TONIGHT I LEARNED, HOW TO WILD OUT.
[BLEEP]. >> WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS?
>> GETS IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME.
>> WHAT DO I DO WITH IT? WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?
>> James: WHAT DO YOU DO? DON'T GET YOUR PHONE OUT, THAT'S
NOT WHAT-- WHO HAS GOT A LIVE RACCOON ON THEIR HEAD AN
LIKE-- DO YOU WANT ME TO TAG YOU IN THIS?
JUST HOLDING IT LIKE THIS, WHAT DO I DO?
PUT IT ON THE FLOOR. WALK 40 FEET THAT WAY AND PUT IT
DOWFNLT HE'S LIKE THIS DOESN'T REALLY WORK FOR THE GROUND, OH,
THAT DOES. MOVING ON, TONIGHT I LEARNED,
HOW NOT TO TAKE OFFENSE. >> THERE IT IS.
>> KEEP IT DOWN, ONE TWO, THREE. KEEP IT ON THE GROUND, KEEP IT
ON THE GROUND SOME DAY, SOME WEEKENDS I THINK I WISH HI MORE
FRIENDS. AND THEN I SEE VIDEOS LIKE THAT
AND THINK GNAW, I'M GOOD. BOPPING RIGHT ALONG, TONIGHT I
LEANED, TO GO OUT ON A LIMB. >> JUMP OFF, I GOT TO GET ITS
ACTION SHOT, JUMP OFF. >> James: I'VE GOT TO GET THE
ACTION SHOT, NO, YOU DON'T. NO, YOU DON'T.
AND FINALLY, TONIGHT I LEARNED HOW TO PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT.
>> James: HE'S JUST EXCEPTIONAL, HE'S EXCEPTIONAL.
>> HE'S ONE OF THIS GENERATION'S GREAT ARTISTS.
>> James: AND I WILL BE HONEST THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE I WAS
LIKE I'M ONLY INTERESTED IN THE ONE, I JUST AVOID SEEING A PENI,
SO THAT IS TAKING IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL, WAS THAT A CD.
>> YEAH, LOOKS LIKE A CD. >> James: WAS IT A CD.
>> CD. >> James: WAS IT A CD.
>> LOOKED LIKE A CD. >> James: WAS IT A CD?
WAS IT A CD? >> YEAH, A CD.
>> James: CAN WE ZOOM IN, CAN WE ZOOM IN, IT FEELS LIKE A CD.
>> A COMPACT DISK. >> James: JUST A LEVEL OF
GENIUS. >> YEAH.
>> James: WE'VE ALL GOT CD'S LYING AROUND.
WE'VE ALL GOT, WE'VE ALL GOT CD'S RIGHT, THIS IS THE TRUTH OF
IT. THERE IS NOT ONE PERSON INVOLVED
IN THIS SHOW THAT DOESN'T HAVE A CD, A BALL OF STRING, SIX DISUPS
AND SOME PAPER. AND NOT ONE OF US THOUGHT
THOUGHT TO DO IT AND THAT'S WHY THE MAN IS A GENIUS.
WHEN WE COME BACK, RUFUS WAINWRIGHT IS HERE, YOU DON'T
WANT TO MISS IT. COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> James: WELCOME BACK. THESE ARE THE MOMENTSESES WHERE
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY JOB, HERE PERFORMING, "A FOGGY DAY,"
FROM HIS NEW LIVE ALBUM, "RUFUS DOES JUDY AT CAPITOL STUDIOS,"
WHICH IS OUT NOW, PLEASE WELCOME, RUFUS WAINWRIGHT!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ I WAS A STRANGER IN THE CITY.
♪ OUT OF TOWN WERE THE PEOPLE I KNEW.
♪ I HAD THAT FEELING OF SELF-PITY.
♪ WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?
♪ WHAT TO DO? THE OUTLOOK WAS DECIDEDLY BLUE.
♪ BUT AS I WALKED THROUGH THE FOGGY
♪ STREETS ALONE. IT TURNED OUT
♪ TO BE THE LUCKIEST DAY I'VE KNOWN.
♪ A FOGGY DAY IN LONDON TOWN. HAD ME LOW,
♪ HAD ME DOWN. I VIEWED THE MORNING
♪ WITH ALARM. THE BRITISH MUSEUM HAD LOST
♪ ITS CHARM. HOW LONG, I WONDERED,
♪ COULD THIS THING LAST? BUT THE AGE OF MIRACLES
♪ HADN'T PASSED. FOR SUDDENLY I SAW YOU THERE.
♪ AND THROUGH FOGGY LONDON TOWN. THE SUN WAS SHINING EVERYWHERE.
♪ ♪ ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WHAT A TREAT.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> James: LADS AND GENTLEMEN,
CATCH HIM TOMORROW NIGHT FORD THEATER RIGHT HERE IN LOS
ANGELES, COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> James: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
>> James: TOMORROW NIGHT: CHRISSY TEIGEN, ROSE BYRNE, AND
STAND-UP FROM KAT RADLEY. WE HOPE TO SEE YOU THEN, REGGIE,
TAKE US HOME.