♪ ARE YOU READY, Y'ALL TO HAVE SOME FUN
♪ ON THE SHOW TONIGHT DON'T YOU WORRY, BABY
♪ WHERE YOU COME FROM IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT
♪ IT'S "THE LATE LATE SHOW!" >> Reggie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ALL THE WAY FROM...
>> James: THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING OUT!
I APPRECIATE IT! THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING
HERE! GOOD EVENING, WELCOME TO "THE
LATE LATE SHOW." BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE.
THANKS FOR HANGING OUT THE LAST HOUR OF THE DAY.
LET'S SEE WHO THE GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT, SHE'S A
TALENTED ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "CRAZY RICH ASIANS," "HUSTLERS,"
AND "FRESH OFF THE BOAT," THE EXCEPTIONAL, CONSTANCE WU!
>> HEY! >> James: HOW ARE YA?
GOOD. HOW YOU DOING?
>> James: VERY WELL. SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
>> NICE TO SEE YOU. >> James: I LOVE THE OUTFIT
YOU'RE ROCKING TONIGHT. THIS OUTFIT IS AN ABSOLUTE
SENSATION, AS ARE YOU. BLESS YOU BO BORE BEING HERE,
CONSTANCE WU, EVERYBODY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SHE'S A WONDERFUL ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "THE AFTERPARTY," "LOVE
LIFE," AND "LONG WEEKEND" WE ARE HAPPY SHE IS MAKING HER
LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW DEBUT WITH US HERE TONIGHT, IT'S THE
DAZZLING, ZOE CHAO! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ZOE, HOW ARE YOU? >> WELL, JAMES, HOW ARE YOU?
>> James: I'M GOOD. SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS YOUR FIRST TALK SHOW.
>> I CAN. I'M SWEATING A LOT.
>> James: IT DOESN'T SHOW. ALTHOUGH IF YOU ARE SWEATING, A
GOOD CHOICE OF OUTFIT, BECAUSE IF YOU CAN CHOOSE SOMETHING THAT
JUST COVERS THE AREAS YOU SWEAT. >> THANK YOU.
>> James: WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
ZOE CHAO, EVERYBODY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THEY'RE A CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED INDIE ROCK BAND HAILING FROM
OMAHA, NEBRASKA, THEY'RE SET TO RELEASE RE-RECORDINGS FROM NINE
OF THEIR STUDIO ALBUMS OVER THE COMING MONTHS.
I COULDEN BE MORE EXCITED TO EAT UP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR
SONGS. WE LOVE IT EVERY TIME THEY STOP
BY. THE ALWAYS COOL, BRIGHT EYES!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HEY, HOW ARE YA?
>> WHOA! >> James: WHOA!
I'LL BE JOHN DOG IF THAT WASN'T JAMES CORDEN AT MY DOOR.
HOW ARE YOU DOING? >> James: WHAT DID YOU JUST
SAY? JOHN DOG?
>> THESE ARE OUR ASSOCIATES. >> James: HEY "BRIGHT EYES"
ASSOCIATES, HOW ARE YOU DOING? >> COULDN'T BE BETTER.
>> James: SEEMS LIKE YOU COULD BE BETTER.
>> YEAH, UH, COUNT THE MEMORIES, NOT THE CALORIES, THAT'S WHAT
I'M ALWAYS SAYING. SO.
>> James: LOVE YOU, MAN. SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
BRIGHT EYES REGGIE, ARE YOU READY?
ROLL THE TITLES! ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO!
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH!
♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
>> James: IT CERTAINLY IS! >> James: IS JASON HERE?
WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THE MEN'S GROOMER?
IS HE DOWN HERE? WHERE IS HE?
HE'SER ALREADY LEFT? >> IN THE GREEN ROOM.
>> James: SEND HIM DOWN BECAUSE THERE'S TWO -- HERE HE
COMES. BECAUSE THIS IS JASON
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) LISTEN TO THIS -- LISTEN TO THIT
SEVEN OR EIGHT HOURS AGO, JASON HAD OUR LATEST "THE LATE LATE
SHOW" BABY, A BRAND-NEW DAUGHTER!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'RE SO HAPPY FOR YOU, BROTHER!
>> THANK YOU! >> James: EVERYONE GREAT?
I'M GREAT, SHE'S GREAT, WE'RE SO HAPPY.
>> James: SO HAPPY FOR YOU! ( AIR HORN BLOWING )
NOW GET OUT OF HERE! GET BACK TO THE HOSPITAL!
I SAID TO HIM, JASON, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
HE WENT, OH, SHE'S OUT OF IT. HE SAID, THEY'RE BOTH OUT OF IT.
I CAME DOWN, I'M DOING THIS. BLESS HIM.
>> FOURTH KID, THIRD KID? >> James: THIRD.
THE FIRST, STILL BE THERE, SECOND, MIGHT BE THERE, CHECKING
IN OVER ZOOM. THIRD, CHECKED IN, POPPED OUT.
>> James: RIGHT. FULL CO-WORKERS BIRTHDAY
VIBES. >
>> James: WHERE IS SHE? SHE'S FINE, GOT PIRATE BOOTY.
WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG? >> WE GAVE HER A KNIFE AND A
LIGHTER. SHE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
>> JAMES: BRIGHT EYES IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.
LOVE RIGHT EYES. WHAT SONG IS BRIGHT EYES DOING?
>> "FALLING OUT OF LOVE AT THIS VOLUME."
>> James: OH, BIG CHIN COMING IN.
ALL THAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO. >> James: WE CAN CHITCHAT NO
MORE -- YEAH, YOU TAKE A DRINK, IAN -- IT'S TIME FOR --
( SLURPING ) -- THE NEWS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TODAY WAS THE SUMMER SOLSTICE,
THE LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR - AND TO CELEBRATE, THOUSANDS
GATHERED AT STONEHENGE TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2019.
LOOK AT THEM, KICKING OFF HOT DRUID SUMMER.
( LAUGHTER ) I LOVE THE WORD SOLSTICE.
>> YEAH. SO SATISFYING.
SOLSTICE. GOOD WORD.
SOUNDS LIKE A MID-SIZED SEDAN. >> YEAH
AND AN ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION MEDICATION ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) SOLSTICE.
>> SOLSTICE. >> James: I JUST POPPED A
SOLSTICE. I'LL JUST BE GOOD IN ABOUT 35
MINUTES. ( LAUGHTER )
>> ACTUALLY, I ASKED FOR THIS WITH NO SOLSTICE.
>> James: CAN I GET THE SOLSTICE ON THE SIDE?
>> YEAH. >> James: YOU'RE IN GOOD
SHAPE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THE WORKOUT. IT'S THE SOLSTICE.
YOU CAN USE IT FOR ANYTHING. IT'S INCREDIBLE.
TODAY WAS THE LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR.
AND IT FELT EVEN LONGER IF YOU SPENT IT WATCHING THE JANUARY 6
HEARINGS. TODAY'S JANUARY 6 HEARING
FOCUSED ON DONALD TRUMP'S STATE-LEVEL PRESSURE TO OVERTURN
THE 2020 ELECTION. DURING THE HEARING, IT WAS
REVEALED THAT TRUMP'S CHIEF OF STAFF SUGGESTED SENDING A GIFT
TO THE PEOPLE CONDUCTING THE AUDIT IN GEORGIA.
AND THAT GIFT - WE'RE NOT MAKING THIS UP - WAS...
AUTOGRAPHED MAGA HATS. ( LAUGHTER )
I LOVE THAT TRUMP IS EVEN CHEAP WITH HIS BRIBES.
( LAUGHTER ) DID THEY ACTUALLY THINK THAT
WOULD WORK? GETTING AMERICANS TO OVERTHROW A
DEMOCRATIC ELECTION, FOR A HAT? ( LAUGHTER )
NOW THAT I'M SAYING IT OUT LOUD, IT COULD WORK.
SIGNED MAGA HATS IN EXCHANGE FOR OVERTURNING VOTES IN GEORGIA.
THIS HAS SOME SERIOUS ROOKIE STEPDAD VIBES.
# ( LAUGHTER )
DOESN'T IT? "HEY BILLY I BROUGHT YOU A
BASEBALL CAP. I'M GONNA HAVE SEX WITH YOUR MOM
NOW, K?" ( LAUGHTER )
IN OTHER POLITICAL NEWS, ALABAMA HELD A RUNOFF ELECTION TODAY TO
CHOOSE A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE FOR SENATE - AND REPRESENTATIVE
MO BROOKS RAN AS 'MAGA MO,' EVEN THOUGH TRUMP ENDORSED HIS
OPPONENT. BUT THIS WHOLE THING SOUNDS LIKE
MO BROOKS IS EXPERIENCING A CLASSIC CASE OF 'MO MAGA, MO
PROBLEMS.' ( LAUGHTER )
ACCORDING TO REPORTS, BROOKS HAD BEEN FEVERISHLY WORKING BEHIND
THE SCENES TO EARN TRUMP'S ENDORSEMENT BACK.
WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST RED FLAG.
BECAUSE NO ONE IN CONGRESS IS FEVERISHLY WORKING ON ANYTHING.
( LAUGHTER ) HE CALLS HIMSELF 'MAGA MO.'
'MAGA-MO' SOUNDS LIKE THE NAME OF ELMO'S UNCLE WHO STORMED THE
CAPITOL. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) MOVING ON, CEREAL GIANT KELLOGG
ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT THEY WILL BE SPLITTING INTO THREE SEPARATE
COMPANIES - ONE FOCUSED ON CEREALS, ONE FOCUSED ON SNACKS,
AND ONE FOCUSED ON PLANT-BASED FOODS.
AND THE FACT THAT CEREAL ISN'T INCLUDED IN PLANT-BASED FOODS
REALLY MAKES YOU WONDER WHAT THEY'RE PUTTING IN THAT STUFF.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A SHAME KELLOGG IS
OFFICIALLY SPLITTING UP BUT DON'T WORRY, SNAP, CRACKLE AND
POP WILL STILL GET TO SEE EACH OTHER EVERY THIRD WEEKEND.
POP TARTS, A CEREAL OR A SNACK? >> I DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE TRYIG
TO PAINT IT IN A CORNER. IT'S LIKE ASKING IS J. LO A
BETTER SINGER OR ACTOR. >> James: TO TELL YOU THE
TRUTH, NOT FOR ME, POP TARTS. >> YOU DON'T LIKE POP TARTS?
>> James: NOT FOR ME. I DON'T GET IT.
WHAT, HAVE YOU HAD ONE? >> James: BRO --
I SHOULDN'T HAVE ASKED. >> James: WHO DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE TALKING TO. >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
>> James: YOU THINK I HAVEN'T HAD SOMETHING WHICH IS COVERED
IN SUGAR? >> YEAH.
>> James: OF COURSE I HAVE, OF COURSE I HAVE.
>> IT DOESN'T JUST LOOK LIKE IT. >> James: YEAH.
HERE'S MY ISSUE. I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH KELLOGG.
A CORN FLAKE, NEVER DISAPPOINTS. >> ARE YOU SAYING YOU PREFER A
CORN FLAKE? YUM, YUM, GIVE ME A BOWL OF CORN
FLAKES? >> James: ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.
THE FOOD THAT WAS TO MAKE PEOPLE STOP MASTURBATING IN THE
1980s? >> IT'S A CHASTITY CEREAL.
>> James: ARE YOU SERIOUS? YEAH.
>> James: PEOPLE WERE JUST MAMASTURBATING TOO MUCH AND YOU
HAD TO HAVE A CORN FLAKE. HOW DOES THAT STOP IT?
>> GUMS UP YOUR MOUTH. >> James: GUMS UP YOUR MOUTH?
YEAH. >> James: HOW DO YOU
MASTURBATE? >> VERY SUCCESSFULLY.
>> James: AND DID YOU SEE THIS?
IN THE MALDIVES, THE FIRST BLOCKS OF A FLOATING CITY ARE
NOW BEING TOWED INTO PLACE. WHEN COMPLETED IN 2027, THE CITY
WILL BE MADE UP OF FLOATING UNITS WITH CANALS
RUNNING IN BETWEEN. HERE'S WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE,
5,000 WHEN IT'S DONE. LOOK AT THAT,
THEY'VE BUILT THEIR VERY OWN MARGARITAVILLE.
( LAUGHTER ) IMAGINE LIVING IN A CITY MADE UP
OF MULTIPLE FLOATING BLOCKS. HEY HOW ARE THINGS BETWEEN YOU
AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND? WE DRIFTED APART -- LITERALLY.
( LAUGHTER ) AND FINALLY, K.F.C. HAS
INTRODUCED A NEW TOOL TO HELP YOU ENJOY THEIR SIDE DISHES.
IT'S CALLED A FINGER SPORK - AND ESSENTIALLY ACTS AS A UTENSIL
FINGER PUPPET. HERE IT IS HERE.
LOOK AT THAT. YOU'VE HEARD OF
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, RIGHT? WELL, THIS IS EQUALLY STUPID.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S AS STUPID AS THAT.
( APPLAUSE ) IMAGINE SITTING -- I DON'T GET
IT, IS THE SPORK ON THE NAIL SIDE OR THE FINGERPRINT SIDE?
>> IT'S ON THE PRINT SIDE. >> James: IT'S ON THE PRINT
SIDE. SO YOU'VE GOT A SCOOP.
BUT THEN LOOK -- >> YEAH.
>> James: THAT'S NOT A NATURAL - RIGHT.
>> James: WHEREAS ACTUALLY WHAT YOU WANT IS A LIPPED ZONE
HERE, SO YOU'RE THERE. >> I THINK YOU CAN ADJUST IT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> James: SO YOU'RE SAYING
IT'S A DIP AND YOU CAN SORT OF MOVE AND --
>> YEAH. >> James: BECAUSE I MEAN THAT
IS -- I'M SIDEWAYS THERE. IF THAT'S A MAC AND CHEESE, I'M
SIDEWAYS AT THAT POINT, THAT IS A DISASTER.
>> THIS IS HOW YOU WANT TO DO YOUR MAC AND CHEESE.
THIS IS VERY MUCH LIKE I'M A LITTLE NAUGHTY GUY NOT HAVING
FROSTING I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE. ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: LOOK AT ME WITH MY FINGER SPORK.
K.F.C. SAYS IT MAKES IT, "MORE FUN TO SCOOP OUT YOUR MAC AND
CHEESE, RETRIEVE THAT LAST PIECE OF CORN, AND DELIGHT IN YOUR
MASHED POTATOES." THEY ALSO WANT TO REMIND
CUSTOMERS TO REMEMBER TO REMOVE THE FINGER SPORKS BEFORE WIPING
THE TEARS OUT OF THEIR EYES. ( LAUGHTER )
LITTLE SPORKS. ( APPLAUSE )
LITTLE SPORKS THAT FIT OVER YOUR FINGERS.
OR, IF YOU'RE REALLY HUNGRY, THEY ALSO HAVE THESE:
( LAUGHTER ) AND THAT'S THE NEWS!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NOW, DOING A SHOW LIKE THIS
EVERY NIGHT, WE READ A LOT OF HEADLINES.
BUT HEADLINES DON'T ALWAYS TELL YOU WHAT THE STORY IS.
SO WE THOUGHT WE'D HELP CLEAR THINGS UP WITH OUR SEGMENT,
HONEST HEADLINES. ♪♪
ALL RIGHT.
THIS FIRST HEADLINE COMES FROM THE "NEW YORK TIMES" --
( DRINK SHAKER INTERRUPTS ) IAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF HONEST HEADLINES.
>> WELL JAMES, TO BE HONEST, IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THE SHOW TO
GO TO LONDON, WHERE SIPSMITH GIN IS MADE.
>> JAMES: YES. AND I'M AS EXCITED AS YOU ARE
ABOUT LONDON, BUT RIGHT NOW WE'RE IN AMERICA AND I HAVE AN
OBLIGATION TO DELIVER THE UNVARNISHED, HONEST HEADLINES TO
AMERICANS- >> BUT JAMES, DID YOU KNOW THE
SIPSMITH GINSMITHS WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR CHANGING THE LAW
IN THE U.K.? THEY PETITIONED PARLIAMENT TO
BRING SMALL BATCH GIN DISTILLING BACK TO LONDON HOW'S THAT FOR A
HEADLINE? >> JAMES: SENSATIONAL, BUT --
>> AND HERE WE SIT SURROUNDED BY STUNNING SIPSMITH BOTTLES, IT'S
THE ONE WITH THE SWAN. >> JAMES: YES.
THE SIPSMITH SWAN IS SUBLIME, BUT THE HEADLINES...
>> DON'T YOU JUST WANT TO SAY SAYONARA TO SERIOUS SUBJECTS AND
SIP SOME SIPSMITH? >> JAMES: CERTAINLY. CERTAINLY.
I WANT TO SAY SAYONARA AND SIP SIPSMITH.
BUT YOU KNOW HOW STRICT I AM ABOUT SERVING SEDATE STORIES
SWIFTLY. >> ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR,
SAGACITY IS FOR SUCKERS. SIMMER DOWN AND SIP SOME
SIPSMITH. >> JAMES: WHEN I'M SATISFIED
I'VE SUCCEEDED IN MY SACRED DUTY, THEN I'LL SIMMER AND SIP
SIPSMITH, BUT NOT WHILE THE CITIZENS ARE STILL STARVED FOR
SINCERITY. >> I'D SUGGEST THE CITIZENS ARE
STARVED FOR SIPS OF SIPSMITH. THAT'S MY STANCE.
>> JAMES: I DON'T RECOLLECT SEEKING YOUR STANCE ABOUT
SIPPING SIPSMITH. >> SALUTATIONS.
I'D LIKE TO SIP A SIPSMITH STRAWBERRY SMASH SPRITZ, S'IL
VOUS PLAIT >> CERTAINLY, CECE.
>> JAMES: CECE I MUST INSIST YOU CEASE AND DESIST SIPPING
SIPSMITH >> SHUCKS I WAS SO PSYCHED TO
SIP SIPSMITH. >> JAMES: SURELY, CECE, YOU CAN
SEE HOW STOPPING TO SIP SIPSMITH SIGNIFIES SLIPPING STANDARDS.
>> BUT SUSAN, SCOTTY, SCHIFF AND STEVE ARE SIPPING SIPSMITH.
>> JAMES: CECE SUSAN, SCOTTY, SCHIFF AND STEVE SELECTED TO SIP
SIPSMITH IN SPITE OF MY STIPULATION THAT SIPSMITH SHALL
BE SIPPED AS SCHEDULED AFTER THIS SEGMENT.
>> SHEESH, YOU'RE BEING SUCH A SIPPING STICKLER.
>> JAMES: DID I STUTTER? I'VE SAID WHAT I'VE SAID ABOUT
SIPPING SIPSMITH AND I SHALL NOT BE STRONGARMED INTO A SITUATION
IN WHICH SIPSMITH IS SIPPED SOONER THAN SPECIFIED.
>> SHOOT, SON, SHUT IT AND SIP SOME SIPSMITH.
>> JAMES: WINNIE ? >> SUP?
>> JAMES: SKIP THE SASS ABOUT SIPPING SIPSMITH.
WE'LL SIP SCORES OF SIPSMITH WHEN I SAY SO.
>> SAY SO STAT, SWEETIE. >> JAMES: SWEETIE?
YOU'RE SUGGESTING I SIDELINE MY SCRUPLES TO SIP SIPSMITH?
>> SI SEÑOR. IT'S TIME TO STOP SQUABBLING AND
START SIPPING SIPSMITH. >> SERIOUSLY.
THE SIPSMITH SWAN SEEMS SAD. >> JAMES: SORRY SWAN.
SINCERELY. >> SO....
>> JAMES: SO, I SEE THE SENSE IN WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
SEND IN A SIPSMITH EASTERN STANDARD AND LET'S START SIPPING
SOME SCRUMPTIOUS SIPSMITH STAT. >> EVERYONE: SUPER!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON
LIVED BY THE SEA ♪ AND FROLICKED IN
THE AUTUMN MIST ♪ IN A LAND CALLED HONALEE
LITTLE JACKIE PAPER ♪ LOVED THAT RASCAL PUFF
AND BROUGHT HIM STRINGS ♪ AND SEALING WAX
AND OTHER FANCY STUFF ♪ OH, PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON
LIVED BY THE SEA ♪ AND FROLICKED IN
THE AUTUMN MIST ♪ IN A LAND CALLED HONALEE
PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON ♪ LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN ♪ THE AUTUMN MIST
IN A LAND CALLED HONALEE ♪ TOGETHER THEY WOULD TRAVEL
ON A BOAT WITH BILLOWED SAIL ♪ JACKIE KEPT A LOOK-OUT
PERCHED ON PUFF'S GIGANTIC TAIL ♪ NOBLE KINGS AND PRINCES
WOULD BOW WHENE'ER THEY CAME ♪ PIRATE SHIPS WOULD
LOWER THEIR FLAGS ♪ WHEN PUFF ROARED OUT HIS NAME
OH, PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON ♪ LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN ♪ THE AUTUMN MIST
IN A LAND CALLED HONALEE ♪ PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON
LIVED BY THE SEA ♪ AND FROLICKED IN
THE AUTUMN MIST ♪ IN A LAND CALLED HONALEE
A DRAGON LIVES FOREVER ♪ BUT NOT SO, LITTLE BOYS
PAINTED WINGS AND GIANTS' RINGS ♪ MAKE WAY FOR OTHER TOYS
ONE GREY NIGHT IT HAPPENED ♪ JACKIE PAPER CAME NO MORE
AND PUFF, THAT MIGHTY DRAGON ♪ HE CEASED HIS FEARLESS ROAR
OH, PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON ♪ LIVED BY THE SEA
AND FROLICKED IN ♪ THE AUTUMN MIST
IN A LAND CALLED HONALEE ♪ PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON
LIVED BY THE SEA ♪ AND FROLICKED IN
THE AUTUMN MIST ♪ IN A LAND CALLED HONALEE
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: WELCOME BACK! LET'S MEET OUR
GUESTS TONIGHT SHE STARS IN, "THE TERMINAL LIST,"
CONSTANCE WU! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) >> James: NICE TO SEE YOU!
AMAZING! SHE STARS IN "THE AFTERPARTY,"
ZOE CHAO! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) >> James: THANK YOU FOR BEING
HERE! I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE.
ZOE, THIS IS YOUR FIRST LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW.
>> YEAH! >> James: HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU NERVOUS?
CAN WE GET YOU ANYTHING? >> I'M TERRIFIED.
I ASKED MY 98-YEAR-OLD GRANDFATHER LAST NIGHT, I WAS,
LIKE, GRAND-DAD, I'M GOING TO BE ON TV TOMORROW NIGHT AND I'M
REALLY NERVES. HE SAID, YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST
GIGGLE AT EVERYTHING. >> James: THAT'S NOT BAD
ADVICE, YOU KNOW. >> YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH
ANYTHING IF YOU GIGGLE AT THE END OF IT
( LAUGHTER ) >> James:
( GIGGLING ) >> James: ROLL THE CLIP.
HAVE YOUR PATHS CROSSED BEFORE? >> I DON'T KNOW IF ZOE KNOWS
THIS, BUT I'VE AUDITIONED FOR MANY ROLES THAT SHE HAS GOTTEN.
>> James: OH. I DON'T KNOW IF CONSTANCE
KNOWS THIS, BUT I HAVE AUDITIONED FOR MANY ROLES THAT
SHE HAS GOTTEN. >> James: CAN YOU REMEMBER
WHAT SOME OF THE RO ROLES WERE. >> THIS LITTLE INDY CALLED
"CRAZY RICH ASIANS." >> James: YEAH.
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. T'S CONSTANT.
>> James: YOU ARE BOTH INCREDIBLY TALENTED.
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU IN SOMETHING TOGETHER.
AUDITIONS ARE ALWAYS TRICKY. CONTESTANTS, HAVE YOU EVER HAD A
REALLY TERRIBLE AUDITION? >> IT'S ONE OF MY FIRST BECAUSE
I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF BEING ON BROADWAY.
WHEN I WAS IN DRAMA SCHOOL, LIKE 1920, I COULDN'T AUDITION FOR
BROADWAY YESTERDAY BECAUSE I WASN'T IN THE UNION FOR STAGE
PEOPLE. BUT ONE LOOPHOLE, CHILDREN DON'T
EXPECT YOU TO BE EQUITY. >> James: YES.
SO I DECIDE TO AUDITION FOR YOUNG SIMBA IN THE LION KING.
SO I WAS AUDITIONING FOR AN 8-YEAR-OLD ROLE, AND I THOUGHT I
COULD PASS, AND IT WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY AUDITION WHERE I WAS
THE TALLEST PERSON THERE. >> James: WOW...
I APPLAUD YOUR GUMPTION FOR EVEN GOING THROUGH WITH IT.
>> I DID NOT PASS FOR AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD.
>> James: WHAT ABOUT YOU? SO MANY DOOZIES, BUT ONE
TERRIBLE ONE THAT STICKS OUT IS I WENT OUT FOR A NEW MUSICAL.
THEY SAID PREPARE 16 BARS OF MUSIC.
I WAS, LIKE, GREAT, A CLEAR CHALLENGE, I'M A VIRGO, LOVE AN
ASSIGNMENT, LET'S DO THIS. 16 BARS, I SHOW UP.
12 PEOPLE HAD FLOWN IN FROM NEW YORK, WHICH JUST FELT EXTRA.
I SANG MY 16 BARS, AND NOT A BAR MORE.
I CUT MYSELF OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A PHRASE.
>> James: OH, WOW! YOU DIDN'T DO MORE THAN 16?
I ACTUALLY DID NOT KNOW WHAT THE 17th BAR WAS SO IT WENT
LIKE,. ♪ BARKING UP THE RA -- ♪
>> AND THEY WERE, LIKE, THAT'S INTERESTING, COULD WE HEAR THE
REST OF IT? I WAS, LIKE, YOU ASKED ME FOR 16
BARS. IF YOU WANTED THE REST OF IT, I
WOULD HAVE LEARNED THE REST OF THE SONG.
SO I JUST SAID, NO. AND I LEFT.
>> James: LEFT THE STAGE. YEAH.
>> James: YOU'RE, I'M IMAGINING, DIDN'T GET IT.
>> KEEP THEM WANTING MORE. EXACTLY.
AND THAT WAS THE LAST MUSICAL AUDITION I WENT OUT FOR.
>> James: WOW. YEAH.
>> James: NOW, YOU LIVED IN NEW YORK BEFORE YOU SETTLED
HERE. >> MM-HMM.
>> James: IN LOS ANGELES. WHAT WAS IT THAT INITIALLY MADE
YOU DO THAT TRIP TO CALL LOS ANGELES YOUR OWN.
>> I WAS A DIE-HARD NEW YORKER, AND I SORT OF HATED L.A. ON
PRINCIPLE BECAUSE OF THAT. BUT THEN A BOY BROKE MY HEART.
>> James: A BOY IN NEW YORK. YES.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GO THROUGH A BREAKUP, I EITHER MOVE
OR I CHANGE MY HAIR. AND YOU COULD TELL HOW BAD THE
BREAKUP WAS BY HOW FAR I MOVED OR HOW NUTS MY HAIR WAS.
SO IT WAS A BAD ONE. >> James: YOU MOVED HERE, AND
WHAT DID YOU DO HAIRWISE? A BUZZ CUT?
>> I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. I MIGHT HAVE PLUCKED THE WHOLE
THING OUT. >> James: HE BROKE YOUR HEART
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD TO MOVE. >> I HAD TO MOVE TO THE PLACE I
NEVER WANTED TO MOVE BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY THING I COULD DO
AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. I COULDN'T AFFORD TO MOVE.
I PUT IT ON MAXED-OUT CREDIT CARDS.
>> James: YOU LIVED IN BROOKLYN BUT YOU LIVE HERE.
DO YOU LIKE IT HERE WHEN YOU COME BACK AND VISIT?
WHAT SORT OF OF FEELINGS DO YOU HAVE WHEN YOU COME BACK HERE?
>> WHEN I LIVED HERE FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, IT WAS A DARK TIME.
IT WAS RIGHT AFTER GRAD SCHOOL AND I TOTALED THREE CARS IN THAT
TIME. >> YOU OKAY?
EAH, I WAS FINE. I KEEP DOING THIS.
I WISH I'D STOP DOING THAT. AND I TOTALED TWO PT CRUISERS
AND -- ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU. SOME PT CRUISER FANS WE'VE GOT
HERE. >> James: I THINK REGGIE WAS
APPLAUDING THE TOTALING OF A PT CRUISER BECAUSE IT'S ONE LESS ON
THE ROAD. THAT'S THE THOUGHT, I THINK.
>> SO I TOTALED TWO PT CRUISERS AND A RENTAL CAR TO PICK UP THE
SECOND PT CRUISER. >> James: OH, WOW.
YEAH. SO I WAS CLEARLY NOT LEARNING
THE LESSON, SO I HAD TO MOVE TO NEW YORK WHERE I CANNOT DRIVE.
>> James: AND YOU CERTAINLY WOULDN'T BUY A PT CRUISER IN
BROOKLYN, UNLESS YOU BOUGHT IT IRONICALLY.
>> RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. OR.
>> OR THE THIRD TIME'S A CHARGE. SO MAYBE THE THIRD PT CRUISER
WOULD START FLYING. >> RIGHT.
OR NOT. DON'T MAKE ME...
>> James: CONTESTANTS, WE'VE GOT TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR
BRILLIANT NEW SHOW "THE TERMINAL LIST."
>> YEAH. >> James: TELL US WHAT IT'S
ABOUT AND WHO YOU PLAY. >> I PLAY A WAR JOURNALIST WHO
IS SORT OF DIGGING FOR THE DIRT UNDER THIS MISSION THAT WENT
WRONG WITH SOME NAVY SEALs, AND CHRIS PRATT PLAYS JAMES
REECE, HE'S LIKE THE HEAD SEAL OF THIS PLATOON -- NO SPOILERS,
BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THEM. >> James: IT WOULD BE A BORING
SHOW IF NOTHING HAPPENED. A SHOW ABOUT A LOT OF NAVY
SEALs JUST CHILLING. >> SOMETHING HAPPENED AND WE'VE
GOT TO FIGURE OUT HOW IT HAPPENED AND WHY.
>> James: I'M A BIG FAN OF CHRIS PRATT'S.
I HE'S ON SET LATER ON IN THE WEEK.
WHAT'S IT LIKE HANGING OUT WITH HIM ON SET.
>> HIS WIFE AND I WERE HAVING BABIES AT THE TIME.
HE WAS GIVING ADVICE ON MILK BECAUSE I'M A LITTLE GIRL BUT I
MADE A LOT. HE SAID, KATHERINE DOES, TOO.
YOU'VE GOT TO GET AN EXTRA FREEZER.
>> James: AN ADDITIONAL FREEZER JUST FOR THE BREAST
MILK? >> YES, AND I HAD IT AND FILLED
IT UP. >> James: NOT JUST A PRETTY
FACE. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP FROM
"THE TERMINAL LIST." ALL EIGHT EPISODES PREMIERE JULY 1ST ON
PRIME VIDEO.
( PHONE BUZZING ) >> AGENT HOLDER, KATY BURN AT
GOLD STREAM. THE LIAISON'S OFFICE SAID I
COULD MEET YOU HERE. >> NO, THEY DIDN'T.
I SPOKE WITH BRENDA FREEMAN. THEY WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU WE
DON'T ALLOW REPORTERS AT THE CRIME SCENES.
>> HE WAVED A GUN IN MY FACE. YOU WANT A WITNESS STATEMENT,
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE.
>> WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE? I THINK SHE THINKS BRETT,
WHILE WE WERE ALL DISTRACTED WHEN YOU WOKE UP, SHE THINKS
HE -- >> ARE YOU OKAY?
NOT REALLY. I THINK I NEED TO JUST PUT MY
DAUGHTER BACK TO SLEEP. >> DADDY!
I'LL FIND IT IN A SECOND. I LOVE YOU.
>> WHO'S BRETT? I KNEW IT.
REMEMBER I WAS TELLING YOU BEFORE IT HAD TO BE BRETT.
>> TELL ME AGAIN, SHALL WE STAY IN THE ROOM?
>> YEAH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT, CHECK THIS OUT OVER THERE --
>> JAMES: THAT WAS A CLIP FROM "THE AFTERPARTY," ALL EPISODES
ARE STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON APPLE TV+.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW. YOU ARE SO BRILLIANT IN THE
SHOW. IT'S A GREAT CAST, BUT YOU ARE A
REAL STANDOUT. FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T CAUGHT IT
YET, TELL US WHAT IT'S ABOUT. >> IT IS A CONTEMPORARY WHO DONE
IT. IT TAKES PLACE AT THE
AFTER-PARTY OF A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION AND SOMEONE IS MURDERED,
AND EACH EPISODE IS IN THE PERSPECTIVE OF A DIFFERENT
CHARACTER, AND IN A DIFFERENT GENRE.
>> DIFFERENT GENRE LIKE WE HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER,
ROM-COM, ANIMATED EPISODE, MUSICAL --
> ♪ ANIMATED EPISODE ♪
>> YEAH. >> James: WHAT ELSE CAN YOU
TELL US ABOUT "THE AFTERPARTY." >> THERE'S A WEDDING, AND
ANOTHER MURDER. >> James: SHUT UP!
THAT'S ALL. >> James: THAT'S IT.
SORT OF LIKE MY SONG. 16 BARS.
I GOT THAT JOKE. I FOLLOWED IT.
I WAS THERE. >> James: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
SEASON TWO AND I THINK YAO DESERVE EVERY SINGLE ACCOLADE
YOU HAD FROM SEASON ONE. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) CONTESTANTS, YOU HAVE JUST
COMPLETED YOUR MEMOIR. WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE THIS?
WHICH PART OF YOUR LIFE ARE WE FOCUSING ON?
>> ALL THE TIMES I DREAMED OF YOU.
>> James: SO IT'S A PAMPHLET. WHEN YOU SAY "BOOK," YOU MEAN
INGREDIENTS LIST ON THE BACK OF A BOTTLE AND WHEN YOU SAY DREAM
YOU MEAN ( BLEEP ) NIGHTMARE. WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE WITH SOCIAL MEDIA AND INTERNET
CULTURE, WE ONLY OFTEN GET A LITTLE SNIPPET OF PEOPLE'S LIVES
AND MAKE A JUDGMENT BASED ON IT. >> James: SURE.
I THINK AS AN ACTOR WHAT WE LOVE IS REALLY EXPLORING THE
HUMAN EXPERIENCE AND I THINK SNIPPETS OF PEOPLE'S LIVES CAN
BE VERY REDUCTIVE TO WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN.
SO I WANTED TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO WRITE SOMETHING
MORE EXPANSIVE, AND, SO, THAT'S -- I DID.
THAT'S WHAT I DID DURING MY PANDEMIC.
>> James: WHAT'S THE BOOK CALLED?
>> MAKING A SCENE. >> James: MAKING A SCENE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GOOD TITLE, CONSTANCE!
REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUESTS?
>> Reggie: YES, I DO. TONIGHT'S QUESTION IS --
( DRUM ROLL ) -- OBVIOUSLY, YOU HAD THE
OPPORTUNITY EAT AT A CANTINA OR CAFETERIA AT SOME POINT DURING
YOUR LIVES. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE CAFETERIA
EXPERIENCE? ( LAUGHTER )
>> OH... UM...
OOOH... WHAT IS THAT PLACE CALLED?
YIELD COUNTRY BUFFET. THAT'S ( BLEEP ).
>> AND I THINK MINE WOULD HAVE TO BE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL --
MAYBERRY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IN RICHMOND, VIRGINIA.
THEY GAVE US SPAGHETTI THAT THEY CHOPPED UP.
I LIKED THE CHOPPED SPAGHETTI. THAT WAS A CAFETERIA.
>> James: THOSE ARE THE ANSWERS, REG.
>> Reggie: THAT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF BEYOND CORRECT.
>> James: IT'S BEYOND CORRECT! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
THANK OUR GUESTS, CONSTANCE WU, ZOE CHAO.
"BRIGHT EYES" IS HERE WHEN WE COME BACK!
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ TELL ME WHAT YOU
WANTED TO HEAR ♪ LET ME DO THE RIGHT THING
LET ME DO THE WRONG THING ♪ AND IF IT'S EVER THIS CLEAR
I'LL ONLY SAY IT ONCE ♪ JUST LET ME TURN THE AMPS
WAY UP SO YOU CAN HEAR NOTHING ♪ AND IF I DIE TONIGHT
THEN I GUESS I DIE TONIGHT ♪ LET ME GO ON
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪
JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANTED TO SAY ♪ I CANNOT STAND THESE TALKS,
DEAR THEY'RE ONLY GETTING ♪ NOWHERE IT'S NEVER RESOLVED
WE ONLY RUN AROUND ♪ YOU ONLY TELL ME
ANYONE COULD BE JUST LIKE ME ♪ IF IT'S A DIFFERENT TIME
AND A DIFFERENT PLACE TO BE ♪ YOU WOULD GO ON
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪
♪
>> James: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT ABOUT THAT!
BRIGHT EYES, EVERYBODY! OH, I LOVE YOU, MAN!
YOU CAN CATCH THEM ON TOUR NOW AND PLAYING AT THE GREEK THEATER
HERE IN LOS ANGELES THIS THURSDAY.
>> James: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING!
TOMORROW NIGHT: CHRIS PRATT, TAYLOR KITSCH, AND MUSIC FROM
JAMES BAY. PLUS LA LAURA DERN WILL TEACH US
HOW TO MAKE A PERFECT QUICHE. REGGIE, TAKE US HOME.