1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:06,306 ♪ ARE YOU READY, Y'ALL TO HAVE SOME FUN 2 00:00:06,373 --> 00:00:13,213 ♪ ON THE SHOW TONIGHT IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT 3 00:00:13,279 --> 00:00:22,956 ♪ IT'S "THE LATE LATE SHOW!" >> Reggie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 4 00:00:23,022 --> 00:00:24,758 GENTLEMEN, ALL THE WAY FROM FORT WAYNE, INDIANA, GIVE IT UP FOR 5 00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:33,333 YOUR HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY JAMES KIMBERLY, SANFORD CORDEN! 6 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,735 >> James: HOW ARE YOU. 7 00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:37,804 THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH. 8 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:48,081 HELLO, GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW." 9 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:51,718 WE'RE VERY, VERY HAPPY ARE YOU HERE, THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY. 10 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:52,218 THANKS FOR BEING HERE. 11 00:00:52,285 --> 00:00:53,386 BLESS YOU, EVERYONE. 12 00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:56,723 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AND SEE WHO OUR GUESSES ARE ON THE SHOW. 13 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,057 >> James: SHE'S AN EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR, HOST, 14 00:00:58,124 --> 00:01:01,928 PRODUCER, AND NEUROSCIENTIST YOU KNOW FROM 15 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:05,832 "THE BIG BANG THEORY," "JEOPARDY," AND "BLOSSOM," THE 16 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,936 DELIGHTFUL, MAYIM BIALIK! 17 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,104 >> James: HOW NICE TO SEE YOU, ARE YOU WELL? 18 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,173 >> I'M VERY WELL, THANK YOU. 19 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,408 >> James: WHY ARE YOU HOLDING. 20 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:16,643 >> I'M EATING APPLES AND HONEY. 21 00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:19,946 >> James: OF COURSE, SHOVEA TONA. 22 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,347 >> THANK YOU, HAPPY NEW YEAR. 23 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:24,083 >> James: YOU ENJOY THOSE APPLES AND HONEY, WE ARE SO 24 00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:27,921 HAPPY ARE YOU HERE. 25 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,923 MAYIM BIALIK, EVERYBODY. 26 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,424 AND ONE OF OUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITES-- EMMY-NOMINATED ACTOR 27 00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:35,662 YOU KNOW AND LOVE FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD, MAX GREENFIELD! 28 00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:39,966 IS IS HERE TONIGHT. 29 00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:40,834 HEY MAX. 30 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:43,236 HOW ARE YOU HEY. 31 00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:44,037 >> HONEY, WHO IS IT? 32 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:46,873 >> I THINK IT IS OUR PIZZA DELIVERY. 33 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:52,679 >> James: NO, I'M NOT A PIZZA DELIVERY. 34 00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:53,746 I'M JAMES CORDEN. 35 00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:54,314 >> GREAT TO MEET YOU, JAMES! 36 00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,114 I'M RICK. 37 00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:56,783 THIS IS JENNY, FELICITY, AND THOMAS. 38 00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:01,321 >> James: OKAY. 39 00:02:01,387 --> 00:02:01,888 GOOD TO KNOW. 40 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,457 WHERE IS MAX GREENFIELD. 41 00:02:04,524 --> 00:02:05,625 WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN HIS DRESSING ROOM? 42 00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,126 >> WE'RE ACTUALLY ON VACATION FROM SEATTLE. 43 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,596 WE RENTED THIS PLACE ON AIRBNB! 44 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,030 >> I'M HUNGRY! 45 00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,666 >> SORRY, BUDDY, BUT I THINK THE NICE DELIVERY MAN FORGOT OUR 46 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:14,767 PIZZAS. 47 00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,269 >> James: I DIDN'T FORGET YOUR PIZZAS BECAUSE I'M NOT A 48 00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,537 DELIVERY PERSON. 49 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:18,505 I'M NOT EVEN AT YOUR DOOR, IT'S A CAMERA YOU'RE TALKING TO RIGHT 50 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:20,673 NOW. 51 00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,242 I'M JAMES CORDEN, I'M THE HOST. 52 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,678 >> OH, YOU'RE THE HOST! 53 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:30,250 >> ACTUALLY, IF YOU DON'T MIND, WE NEED SOME MORE TOWELS. 54 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:33,686 >> James: NO, I'M NOT THE HOST OF THE AIR B-- I'M THE HOST OF 55 00:02:33,753 --> 00:02:35,388 >> DID I HEAR THAT YOU NEEDED SOME MORE TOWELS? 56 00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:36,022 >> James: MAX? 57 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:40,693 WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE? 58 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,664 >> I WAS JUST ABOUT TO TAKE A SHOWER, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT. 59 00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:47,634 >> THEY DON'T CALL ME SUPERHOST FOR NOTHING. 60 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:53,239 >> James: I'M GOING TO SORT THIS, I WILL BE RIGHT BACK, WAIT 61 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,507 THERE. 62 00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,143 >> GUYS WHATEVER ELSE YOU NEED, LET ME KNOW, TREAKS PILLOW, LATE 63 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,045 CHECK OUT, WHATEVER YOU WANT. 64 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,079 BYE GUYS. 65 00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,314 JAMES, WHAT IS GOING ON. 66 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:04,684 >> WHAT IS GOING ON, THERE IS A FAMILY OF FOUR LIVING IN YOUR 67 00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:05,218 DRESSING ROOM. 68 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,085 >> YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 69 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:09,489 ISN'T IT GREAT? 70 00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:11,724 I AIRBNBED THE DRESSING ROOM, CA-CHING. 71 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:17,630 >> James: YOU AIRBNBED YOUR DRESSING ROOM, ALSO IT IS CHA 72 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,098 CHING, NOT KACHING. 73 00:03:19,165 --> 00:03:20,333 >> James: NO, CACHING. 74 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,669 >> James: NO, CHA-CHING. 75 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:24,737 >> IT MIGHT NORTHBOUND LONDON BUT NOT HERE JAMES. 76 00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:29,042 THE POINT IS, INFLATION, STOCK MARKET, INTEREST RATES GOING 77 00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:32,512 THROUGH THE ROOF, WE NEED TO LEVERAGE OUR A SERKTS WHAT IS 78 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:34,948 YOUR PORTFOLIO LOOK LIKE, YOU ARE DIVERSE. 79 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:36,616 HOW I WILL GID ARE YOU. 80 00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,685 >> James: I'M HYDRATED. 81 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,019 >> SURE ABOUT THAT. 82 00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:42,422 >> James: NOT REALLY, I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT WE ARE 83 00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:45,391 STALKING ABOUT BUT I KNOW ST WEIRD, AND ALMOST CERTAINLY 84 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:46,426 ILLEGAL TO RENT OUT YOUR DRESSING ROOM. 85 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:51,631 HOW MUCH MONEY YOU CAN EVEN BE MAKING FROM THIS. 86 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,665 >> $400 A NIGHT. 87 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,033 >> James: FOR A DRESSING ROOM THAT SEEMS IMMORAL. 88 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:59,005 >> IT IS-- DON'T TELL ME YOU DISRCHT RENT OUT YOUR HONEY 89 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:03,276 WAGON ON INTO THE WOOKSD WANT IN ON HALF, HALF OF $400. 90 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:05,111 >> YEAH, $200. 91 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:08,448 >> James: THAT IS A LOT OF OTHER PLACES AROUND HERE. 92 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,049 WHAT ABOUT HER DRESSING ROOM. 93 00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:12,652 >> NO, I CHECKERED. 94 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,788 SHE RENTED OUT AS A SAUNA. 95 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:16,623 EXCUSE ME, WHICH WAY ARE THE SHOWERS. 96 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:19,959 >> James: THE SHOWERS. 97 00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:21,494 >> DOWN THAT WAY. 98 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:22,695 >> THANK YOU. 99 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,796 >> James: WHY DIDN'T WE THINK OF THAT. 100 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:25,598 >> THAT IS MAYIM BIALIK, SHE IS ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD. 101 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,812 ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO! 102 00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:51,691 ♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH! 103 00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:57,096 BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE, IT'S THAT TIME, IT'S TIME FOR THE 104 00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:59,165 NEWS. 105 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:14,747 >> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT. 106 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:15,915 >> James: I'M ALL RIGHT. 107 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,450 >> COME ON, COME ON. 108 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:26,559 THE NEWS. 109 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:31,464 ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 110 00:05:31,531 --> 00:05:33,533 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> James: WOW. 111 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:54,087 THAT REALLY HIT ME. 112 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,822 HERE IS TODAY'S NEWS. 113 00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:57,056 TODAY, PRESIDENT BIDEN KICKED OFF A TWO-DAY SUMMIT AT THE 114 00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:58,357 WHITE HOUSE, WHERE HE'S HOSTING MULTIPLE LEADERS FROM PACIFIC 115 00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:03,596 ISLAND NATIONS. 116 00:06:03,663 --> 00:06:06,866 NOW I CAN'T WORK THIS OUT. 117 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,267 THEY'RE MEETING WITH THE LEADERS OF FIJI, PAPUA NEW GUINEA, AND 118 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,535 FRENCH POLYNESIA AND THEY'RE HAVING THE SUMMIT IN WASHINGTON, 119 00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:09,969 D.C.? 120 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:14,774 HOLD IT IN FIJI! 121 00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:18,845 THAT IS AN OPEN GOAL TO FIJI, THIS HAS GOT TO BE BIDEN'S 122 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:20,913 BIGGEST GAFFE YET. 123 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:22,148 BIDEN WANTS TO SHOW THAT THE UNITED STATES REMAINS COMMITTED 124 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,583 TO BEING AN ENDURING PLAYER IN THE REGION, AND ALSO 125 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,451 BIDEN WANTS TO KNOW WHY SO MANY TROPICAL DRINKS HAVE LITTLE 126 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,521 UMBRELLAS. 127 00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,123 I MEAN, THE DRINK IS ALREADY WET, WHAT ARE YOU PROTECTING IT 128 00:06:30,189 --> 00:06:34,727 FROM? 129 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:35,928 WHY? 130 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:36,496 ACCORDING TO THE WHITE HOUSE, AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND ARE 131 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,731 ONLY SENDING OBSERVERS. 132 00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,801 I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY WHAT OBSERVER MEANS, BUT I JUST LIKE 133 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:45,671 THE IDEA OF SOME AUSTRALIAN BEING LIKE, NO NEED TO 134 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:47,740 PARTICIPATE IN THE SUMMIT, MATE. 135 00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,943 I JUST LIKE TO WATCH. 136 00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:54,447 IN OTHER NEWS, PRESIDENT BIDEN'S APPROVAL RATING IS TICKING 137 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:56,716 UPWARDS. 138 00:06:56,783 --> 00:07:00,186 ACCORDING TO THE LATEST POLLS, 41% OF AMERICANS APPROVE OF 139 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,422 BIDEN'S JOB PERFORMANCE, UP FROM THE MID-30s IN JUNE. 140 00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:08,227 IT MOSTLY HAS TO DO WITH DEMOGRAPHICS. 141 00:07:08,294 --> 00:07:13,232 HE'S POLLING AT 91% WITH ICE CREAM MEN AND TRAIN CONDUCTORS. 142 00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:16,702 BIDEN'S APPROVAL RATING IS UP TO 41%, WHICH, AFTER THIS WEEK, 143 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:27,647 IS ALSO THE CURRENT INTEREST RATE. 144 00:07:27,713 --> 00:07:29,315 (APPLAUSE) I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD DO 145 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,651 NATIONAL APPROVAL RATINGS WITH MORE JOBS, NOT JUST THE 146 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:33,686 PRESIDENT. 147 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:37,757 I WOULD JUST LOVE TO BE LIKE, HEY JANICE, WE TOOK A POLL AND 148 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,927 20% OF AMERICANS DO NOT APPROVE OF THE HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS 149 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,461 YOU PUT UP AROUND THE OFFICE. 150 00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:46,098 K? 151 00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:49,202 BYE. 152 00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:53,206 I SAW HOUSES LAST NIGHT, I WAS OUT LAST NIGHT AND I SAW HOUSES 153 00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:57,343 THAT ALREADY HAD HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS UP. 154 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:58,244 >> YEAH. 155 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,445 >> James: IT'S SEPTEMBERS BNS YEAH, IT IS. 156 00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:02,982 BUT IN IS NOT A FUN SEPTEMBER DECORATING HOLIDAY SO WE JUMP 157 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:03,749 RIGHT TO HALLOWEEN. 158 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,819 >> James: IT IS UNACCEPTABLE. 159 00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:07,887 IT IS DEEPLY UNACCEPTABLE. 160 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:09,789 >> YOU GOT O WORK ON ACCEPTING IT. 161 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:10,289 >> James: I WON'T. 162 00:08:10,356 --> 00:08:10,890 >> YOU GOT TO DO IT. 163 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,058 >> James: I WON'T. 164 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,927 >> YOU GOT TO GO TO THERAPY, YOU HAVE TO TALK TO SOMEBODY. 165 00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:15,628 >> James: I WILL NOT DO IT. 166 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,630 >> YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO. 167 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,900 YOU REACH INSIDE YOUR CHEST, FIND A DOOR NOBODY AND OPEN YOUR 168 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:21,834 HEART. 169 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:25,571 >> James: OCTOBER 1st, THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN. 170 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:26,005 >> THAT'S NOT TRUE. 171 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,406 >> James: IT IS. 172 00:08:27,473 --> 00:08:27,907 >> NO, IT'S NOT. 173 00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:29,675 >> James: IT IS. 174 00:08:29,742 --> 00:08:30,643 >> THAT IS YOUR HEART IS CLOSED WHEN IT COMES TO DECK RATING FOR 175 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:31,844 HALLOWEEN. 176 00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:35,648 >> James: I DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE FOR DECORATING FOR HALLOWEEN. 177 00:08:35,715 --> 00:08:40,753 I DON'T DRIVE PAST AND GO OH [BLEEP] IDIOT. 178 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:46,959 I DON'T-- I JUDGE LIKE, YOU KNOW, A 57 YEAR OLD ACCOUNTANT 179 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:50,696 WHO CHOOSES TO DRESS UP LIKE AN AXE MURDERER. 180 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:54,166 I JUDGE HIM, I JUDGE HIM EIGHT DAYS A WEEK. 181 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:57,837 >> SO IF I SIT HERE AND TELL YOU THAT ON AROUND OCTOBER 1S, 182 00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:02,208 OCTOBER 2-7BD I'M GOING TO GO INTO MY FRONT YARD AND PUT A 183 00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:05,478 FAKE SPOOKY SKELETON, A BIG SPIED EAR, ARE YOU NOT GOING TO 184 00:09:05,544 --> 00:09:06,178 JUDGE ME AT ALL. 185 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,814 >> James: NO WAY, GO NUTS. 186 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,983 >> YOU ARE LYING TO YOUR FRIENDS RIGHT NOW. 187 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:16,455 >> James: NO, I DO, I WOULD LOOK LIKE GO FOR T GO FOR IT, IT 188 00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:17,823 PUTS A DENT IN OUR FRIENDSHIP. 189 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:20,192 I'M NOT GOING STOP YOU DOING IT. 190 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,394 THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. 191 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:27,700 IF YOU GET PLEASURE, TAKING A PUMPKIN AND PUTTING IT ON YOUR 192 00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:35,708 DOORSTEP LIKE A BASIC BITCH, I GET IT. 193 00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:43,549 (APPLAUSE) HERE IS A NEW STORY. 194 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,217 >> James: AND ACCORDING TO A NEW SURVEY, NEARLY HALF OF AMERICANS 195 00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,186 THINK WEARING CLOTHES AND THEN RETURNING THEM SHOULD BE A 196 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:50,623 CRIME. 197 00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,758 WHAT IF YOU SHOPLIFT AN ITEM OF CLOTHING AND THEN IMMEDIATELY 198 00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:55,094 RETURN IT FOR CASH? 199 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:57,964 THAT'S STILL LEGAL, RIGHT? 200 00:09:58,030 --> 00:10:04,870 LOOK, IF YOU CAN WEAR AN OUTFIT -- THE WAY I SEE IT IS THIS. 201 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,505 LOOK, IF YOU CAN WEAR AN OUTFIT SUCCESSFULLY HIDE THE TAGS THE 202 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:10,343 WHOLE TIME, THEN YOU DESERVE THE CLOTHES FOR FREE. 203 00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:12,011 GO FOR IT. 204 00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,981 (APPLAUSE) I DON'T THINK IT SHOULD BE A 205 00:10:15,047 --> 00:10:18,884 CRIME, THERE SHOULD BE LEVELS, RIGHT. 206 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:19,652 LIKE WEAR A JACKET ONCE, RETURN IT, 207 00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:20,720 MISDEMEANOR. 208 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:21,120 RETURN ANYTHING THAT CAME IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH YOUR 209 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,488 UNDERCARRIAGE? 210 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:31,630 LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE. 211 00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:35,034 DO YOU ANY IT IS OKAY, IS IT OKAY TO WEAR SOMETHING ONCE AND 212 00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:35,701 THEN RETURN IT? 213 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:37,370 IS IT OKAY? 214 00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:40,406 >> IT DE PENS ON HOW EXPENSE FIF IS. 215 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,640 >> James: RIGHT. 216 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,809 >> I THINK ANYTHING OVER $500, YEAH, BRING IT BACK, ABSOLUTELY, 217 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:44,977 YEAH. 218 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:47,179 >> James: RIGHT, HAS ANYONE HERE DONE T BOUGHT SOMETHING, 219 00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:51,984 WORN IT OUT. 220 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:54,020 WINNIE, WINNIE WENT LIKE THIS. 221 00:10:54,086 --> 00:10:55,855 YOU HAVE, WINNIE? 222 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,123 YOU HAVE. 223 00:10:57,189 --> 00:11:00,559 >> SOMETIMES I'M A BROKE BITSCH AND I GOT TO DO IT I WANT A NEW 224 00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:03,329 FIT, AND GUESS WHAT, I DON'T WANT TO KEEP IT SO. 225 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:08,534 >> James: SO HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE THIS? 226 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:16,575 >> GOD, IN A MONTH, LIKE-- I DON'T NEED MY MONEY, IT'S FINE. 227 00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:17,276 IT'S FINE. 228 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,311 >> James: NO, GO ON, SERIOUSLY. 229 00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:22,214 WHAT IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE ITEM OF CLOTHING YOU BOUGHT IN A 230 00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:27,153 STORE, WORN OUT, CUZ YOU WANT TO HOOKUP WITH A STANDUP COMEDIAN 231 00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:30,956 ON THE SHOW, AND THEN GONE BACK WHAT WOULD IT BE? 232 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:34,160 >> LIKE, I DON'T KNOW 350, NOT THAT MUCH. 233 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,594 >> James: $350. 234 00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:37,463 >> I'M NOT BREAKING THE BANK, YOU KNOW. 235 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,531 >> James. 236 00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:40,800 >> WHAT IS THE CHEAPEST ITEM YOU'VE WORN OUT AND THEN 237 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,201 RETURNED. 238 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:46,939 >> MAYBE LIKE $25, AGAIN, WHEN YOU'RE A BROKE BITCH, SOMETIMES 239 00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:50,242 YOU HAVE GOT TO GIVE IT BACK AND GET YOUR MONEY BACK. 240 00:11:50,309 --> 00:11:52,411 >> James: I LOVE T GO GET THEM. 241 00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:58,818 >> YES, THANK YOU. 242 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,886 , HERE'S A STORY. 243 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:02,221 >> James: AND SPAIN HAS UNVEILED A NEW MASCOT FOR THEIR PUBLIC 244 00:12:02,288 --> 00:12:02,721 BUS SYSTEM. 245 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,790 HIS NAME IS BOO-SEE. 246 00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:09,128 HERE HE IS HERE, TAKE A LOOK. 247 00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:23,042 LOOK AT THAT. 248 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:27,279 I MEAN IF YOU SEE A GUY DRESSED LIKE THAT ON A BUS IN SPAIN, YOU 249 00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:28,781 MIGHT HAVE SOME FUNS. 250 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:36,422 IF YOU SEE THAT THING ON A PUBLIC BUS IN LOS ANGELES, RUN, 251 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,325 RUN. 252 00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:44,330 BOO-SEE'S BODY HAS A VARIETY OF COLORS WITH LINES SIMILAR TO A 253 00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:48,801 MAP, A BUS ROUTE. 254 00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:52,238 SO YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU WERE WHEN BOOS-SEE MURDERED YOU. 255 00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:57,276 CAN WE SEE BOO-SEE AGAIN, LOOK AT THAT, LOOK. 256 00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:58,711 IT LOOKS LIKE THE MASCOT DESIGNER COMPLETELY FORGOT THEY 257 00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:04,350 HAD AN ASSIGNMENT DUE UNTIL AN HOUR BEFORE. 258 00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,418 DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, SO, WHAT, HIS NAME? 259 00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:17,263 IT'S-- BUS-- BOO, SEE, YEAH, AND HE LOOKS LIKE A MAP. 260 00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,198 ON A CLOWN. 261 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:19,999 AND A BOWLING PIN. 262 00:13:20,065 --> 00:13:24,703 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED, YEAH. 263 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:27,907 REGGIE, IF YOU HAD TO COME UP WITH A MASCOT FOR THE LOS 264 00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:30,609 ANGELES BUSES, WHAT WOULD THE MASCOT BE? 265 00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:33,879 >> Reggie: METRONOMICON. 266 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:36,148 >> James: METRONOMICON. 267 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:39,852 >> Reggie: YEAH, IT WOULD BE LIKE A DEMON THAT TRIED TO LURE 268 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:51,630 PEOPLE ON TO PUBLIC TRANSPORT. 269 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:57,703 >> James: HERE'S A STORY. 270 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,004 >> James: AND DID YOU SEE THIS? 271 00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:00,372 LAST NIGHT, DURING A PERFORMANCE IN WASHINGTON, D.C., LIZZO 272 00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:04,743 PLAYED A 200-YEAR-OLD CRYSTAL FLUTE THAT ONCE BELONGED TO 273 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:05,544 PRESIDENT JAMES MADISON. 274 00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:15,888 TAKE A LOOK. 275 00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:30,836 ♪ 276 00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:31,971 ♪ 277 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,406 (APPLAUSE) UNBELIEVABLE. 278 00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:35,274 UNBELIEVABLE. 279 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,141 >> James: AND THAT OUTFIT SHE'S WEARING? 280 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,676 ALSO BELONGED TO PRESIDENT JAMES MADISON. 281 00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:40,713 IT'S THE FIRST TIME A MUSICIAN HAS PERFORMED ON THE FLUTE SINCE 282 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:44,717 IT WAS GIVEN TO MADISON 200 YEARS AGO. 283 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:50,256 AND I HAVE TO SAY, IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME. 284 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:52,358 IT WAS AN AMAZING MOMENT. 285 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:55,227 EVEN BETTER THAN THAT TIME WHEN GUY FIERI ATE CHICKEN WINGS 286 00:14:55,294 --> 00:15:02,401 WITH GEORGE WASHINGTON'S WOODEN TEETH. 287 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:05,771 REMEMBER THAT? 288 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,474 AND McDONALD'S HAS COLLABORATED WITH A STREETWEAR BRAND TO OFFER 289 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:11,410 AN ADULT HAPPY MEAL, COMPLETE WITH TOY FIGURINES BASED ON 290 00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:20,419 McDONALDLAND CHARACTERS. 291 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,388 BRILLIANT IDEA, CAN I SEE IT NOW. 292 00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:23,155 NO! 293 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,323 THOSE ARE DADDY'S HAPPY MEAL TOYS! 294 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:30,462 I MEAN, JUST IMAGINE WALKING CARRYING YOUR BRIEFCASE IN ONE 295 00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,798 HAND, YOUR ADULT HAPPY MEAL IN THE OTHER, JUST STROLLING TOO 296 00:15:32,865 --> 00:15:37,036 THE OFFICE LIKE MORNING. 297 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:37,436 YEAH. 298 00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:39,204 GOT MY LUNCH. 299 00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:42,808 WE DON'T NEED THE TOYS, AN ADULT HAPPY MEAL SHOULD JUST 300 00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,643 BE... SOME LOOSE LOTTERY TICKETS AND EVERYTHING TO MAKE THE 301 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:50,849 PERFECT OLD FASHIONED. 302 00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:54,887 AND FINALLY, EARLIER TODAY, M&MS UNVEILED ITS FIRST NEW CHARACTER 303 00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:58,157 IN A DECADE-- A PURPLE CANDY THAT SINGS. 304 00:15:58,223 --> 00:16:03,495 ACCORDING TO THE COMPANY, SHE'S THE FIRST-EVER FEMALE PEANUT M&M 305 00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:03,962 CHARACTER. 306 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:07,366 HERE SHE IS HERE. 307 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:12,037 WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER M&M CHARACTER. 308 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,672 DO WE? 309 00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:18,143 WHO IS SITTING AROUND LIKE OH, IF ONLY WE HAD ANOTHER M & M. 310 00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:21,814 IT'S A BAA OF CANDY, IT'S NOT THE 311 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:22,981 MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE. 312 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:26,652 ACCORDING TO THE COMPANY, AND THIS IS TRUE, SHE'S PURPLE, 313 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:31,390 SHE'S PEANUT, AND SHE DOESN'T WEAR HIGH HEEL SHOES... 314 00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:40,766 MAINLY BECAUSE SHE'S A (/ BLEEP/ ) CANDY. 315 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,702 (APPLAUSE) THE NEW M&M CHARACTER IS PURPLE. 316 00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,973 IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S THE LOVE CHILD OF A TORRID AFFAIR BETWEEN 317 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,309 THE BLUE AND RED M&MS. 318 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:56,348 AND THAT'S THE NEWS! 319 00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:59,151 NOW, BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, WE JUST WANT TO SAY THAT OUR 320 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:02,187 THOUGHTS ARE WITH THE PEOPLE IN THE GULF COAST, DEALING WITH A 321 00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,890 MASSIVE HURRICANE RIGHT NOW. 322 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,893 WE ARE THINK BEING EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU OUT SPHWHR RIGHT NOW. 323 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,161 PLEASE, STAY SAFE, AS BEST YOU CAN. 324 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:11,230 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE "LATE, LATE SHOW." 325 00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:27,346 >> James: LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS TONIGHT! 326 00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:31,417 SHE STARS IN "CALL ME KAT," MAYIM BIALIK! 327 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:47,733 HE STARS IN "THE NEIGHBORHOOD," MAX GREENFIELD! 328 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:52,938 >> Reggie: IT'S MAXIMUM GREENFIELD. 329 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,007 THE GREENEST FIELD IN THE WORLD, RIGHT HERE. 330 00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:06,452 >> James: HEY. 331 00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:06,985 >> HEY. 332 00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:07,619 >> James: HOW ARE YOU? 333 00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:09,087 SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE HERE. 334 00:18:09,154 --> 00:18:11,223 THANK YOU FOR COMING TO SEE US. 335 00:18:11,290 --> 00:18:15,160 MAY IM, I WISH YOU ASIANA TOVAH, HAPPY NEW YEAR. 336 00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:16,695 >> YOU CAN WISH IT TO MAX TOO. 337 00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:17,863 >> WHATAM I NOT SITTING HERE. 338 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:21,700 >> James: LIKE I SAY, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU, MAY EMAND NOW 339 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,369 YOU MADE SOME CHANGES TO YOUR CELEBRATION THIS YEAR. 340 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:25,971 WHAT DID YOU DO? 341 00:18:26,038 --> 00:18:30,943 >> I THINK WE'RE ALL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT LIFE LOOKS LIKE 342 00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:32,578 IN DIFFERENT STAGES OF COVID. 343 00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:37,049 AND I WEAR A MASK PRETTY OF ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY, AT WORK, IN 344 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:38,217 THE MARKET, ALL THE PLACES. 345 00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:42,554 BUT FOR SYNAGOGUE I REALLY WANTED TO NOT HAVE TO SIT INSIDE 346 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:46,425 AND WEAR A MASK FOR THE FOUR OR FIVE HOURS THAT WE SIT IN 347 00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:48,794 SYNAGOGUE-- SYNAGOGUE SO I HAD TWO OUTDOOR EXPERIENCES. 348 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:52,064 ONE WITH A SMALL GROUP OF REBELS WHO DIDN'T FEEL LIKE SITTING 349 00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:53,265 INSIDE. 350 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:55,534 AND THE SECOND DAY WE HAD AN OUTDOOR SERVICE AT OUR SYNAGOGUE 351 00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:56,935 AND IT WAS AWESOME. 352 00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:59,538 >> James: GLORIOUS, AND EVERYTHING WANT WELL. 353 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:00,506 >> EVERYTHING WENT GREAT. 354 00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,908 >> James: DIDN'T YOU PLAY QUITE A MAJOR ROLE. 355 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:09,648 >> I AM A CHOFAR BLOWER, IT IS A RITUAL, A RAM HORN. 356 00:19:09,715 --> 00:19:11,650 >> OH MY GOD, PLEASE DO IT. 357 00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:14,686 >> I WAS GOING TO BRING T I WAS GOING TO BRING IT, BUT I DIDN'T. 358 00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:19,291 >> OH MY GOD, WE COULD HAVE DONE A WHOM. 359 00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:23,395 >> SO NEXT TIME. 360 00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:27,499 ANYWAY -- THE NEXT ONE, DO IT. 361 00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:31,503 >> ♪. 362 00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:37,910 >> OH MY GOSH. 363 00:19:37,976 --> 00:19:39,378 ♪. 364 00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:45,150 >> BUT THEN YOU GOT TO DO-- . 365 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:49,922 ♪ EVERYBODY IN THE AUDIENCE ARE LIKE HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO GO, 366 00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:54,393 YOU NEVER KNOW T IS THE MOST EXCITING PART OF THE JEWISH 367 00:19:54,459 --> 00:19:59,097 CULTURE. 368 00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:06,872 THIS WILL BE MY DAD'S FAVORITE SEGMENT EVER DONE ON A SHOW. 369 00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,907 DON'T CUT IT OUT, PLEASE. 370 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:10,642 >> James: SO YOU ARE BLOWING A RAM'S HORN. 371 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,411 >> IT IS VERY LONG. 372 00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:14,780 >> James: BUT IT IS YOUR OWN RAM'S HORN. 373 00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:18,150 >> MY GRANDMOTHER OF BLESSED MEMORY BOUGHT IT FOR ME WHEN HI 374 00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:20,886 BEEN DOING IT FOR MANY YEARS AND LOOKED LIKE I WAS GOING TO KEEP 375 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:26,158 DOING IT I USED TO USE A LITTLE ONE BUT YOU GET A BIG SOUND OF A 376 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:29,227 HUGE SHOFAR. 377 00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,395 >> WOW. 378 00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:33,899 >> YEAH, WE ARE A VERY COLORFUL PEOPLE. 379 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:37,336 >> IT'S A BIG DEAL TO HAVE YOUR OWN SHOFAR. 380 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:37,970 >> IT IS A VERY BIG DEAL T LOOKS DECORATIVE YEAR ROUND ON TOP OF 381 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:42,908 >> I DON'T HAVE ONE. 382 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,843 YOU LOVE IT. 383 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,280 >> James: THROW, I JUST FEEL LIKE I'M UTTERLY THE WRONG 384 00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,082 PERSON TO BE HOSTING THIS SHOW. 385 00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:55,754 I GOT TO BE HONEST, IN 1,110 SHOWS, I'VE ALWAYS FELT LIKE NO, 386 00:20:55,821 --> 00:20:56,922 I KNOW WHERE I AM. 387 00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,292 AND RIGHT NOW IN THIS MINUTE I'M LIKE I GOT NOWHERE TO GO. 388 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,362 EVERYWHERE THERE IS A MASS OF LIKE, I DON'T KNOW. 389 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:09,034 >> YOUR PREENCE RIGHT NOW IS SUCH A MISSFA. 390 00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,036 >> YOU ARE A WILT SNS WHAT ARE YOU. 391 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,237 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 392 00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:18,777 >> James: WELL, I'M-- MAX, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS. 393 00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:21,246 NOW I CAN'T WORK OUT IF THIS IS EXCITING OR TRAGIC. 394 00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:25,717 YOU HAVE JOINED TIKTOK. 395 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,685 >> YEAH. 396 00:21:26,752 --> 00:21:29,354 >> James: HOW, WHY, WHAT IS THE RESPONSE BEEN? 397 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:32,624 >> I DID IT FOR ROSH HASHANAH. 398 00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:33,892 >> James: OKAY. 399 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,261 >> MY DAUGHTER AND HER FRIENDS, MY DAUGHTER HAD BEEN BEGSING ME 400 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:38,497 TO JOIN FOR A LONG TIME. 401 00:21:38,563 --> 00:21:42,734 AND THEN SHE GOT TOGETHER WITH SOME OF HER FRIENDS. 402 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,437 AND THEY BULLIED ME. 403 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:48,907 AND MY WIFE JOINED IN ON IT AND WAS JUST LIKE, JUST DO IT. 404 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,909 AND SO THEY SET UP THE CAMERA. 405 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:55,847 AND THEN THEY TAWTD ME, SO THEY SET UP MY PHONE ON SOMETHING. 406 00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:57,616 AND THEN STOOD BEHIND THE PHONE AS I DID THE DANCE. 407 00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:00,485 AND THEY HAVE THE THREE OF THEM BEHIND THERE GOING LIKE, THIS 408 00:22:00,552 --> 00:22:02,320 ANDTHEN YOU DO THIS. 409 00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,989 AND THEN THEY TOOK ME THROUGH THE WHOLE DANCE. 410 00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:07,993 I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ONE TAKE T WASN'T. 411 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:12,097 THEY WERE ABUSIVE. 412 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,232 I'M NOT GOOD AT CHOREOGRAPHY. 413 00:22:14,299 --> 00:22:17,769 AND BY THE END OF IT IT WAS NO LONGER FUN AND THEN WE PUT IT 414 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,037 OFF. 415 00:22:19,104 --> 00:22:21,540 AND THEY SAID OH, WELL, HOW MANY VIEWS WILL IT HAVE BY THE END OF 416 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:23,442 THE WHATEVER. 417 00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,143 I GO, I DON'T KNOW. 418 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:27,546 IT'S GOTTEN LIKE A LOT OF VIEWS. 419 00:22:27,612 --> 00:22:33,085 I THINK IT IS LIKE 10 MILLION VIEWS. 420 00:22:33,151 --> 00:22:34,219 >> James: STOP. 421 00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:37,089 >> PEOPLE WERE VERY EXCITED ABOUT MY PRESENCE ON TIKTOK, 422 00:22:37,155 --> 00:22:39,858 UNBEKNOWNST TO ANY OF US. 423 00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,961 AND NOW IT'S JUST SOMETHING WE DORCHT TALK ABOUT. 424 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,597 BECAUSE IT EXCEEDED ANY EXPECTATION AND NOW IT IS JUST A 425 00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:48,166 WEIRD THING THAT JUST EXISTS UP THERE. 426 00:22:48,233 --> 00:22:49,901 >> James: SO YOU ALMOST, YOU CAN'T TAKE IT DOWN, IT IS UP 427 00:22:49,968 --> 00:22:50,869 THERE. 428 00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:53,638 >> JUST DROPPED A ONE AND I'M NOT GOING BACK. 429 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:56,074 >> James: AND THIS IS SOMETHING YOU NOW FEEL LIKE I 430 00:22:56,141 --> 00:22:57,576 FEEL EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT. 431 00:22:57,642 --> 00:22:59,277 >> NO, NOT EMBARRASSED ALTS ALL. 432 00:22:59,344 --> 00:23:02,380 I FEEL REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE MEDIUM AND 433 00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:04,015 I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THAT WORLD. 434 00:23:04,082 --> 00:23:05,150 IT'S NOT FOR ME. 435 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,853 >> James: WELL, LET'S LOOK AT IT. 436 00:23:07,919 --> 00:23:09,921 LET'S LOOK AT THE POST. 437 00:23:20,298 --> 00:23:22,100 >> THAT'S GOOD. 438 00:23:22,167 --> 00:23:24,402 >> I WOULD WATCH THAT 10 MILLION TIMES. 439 00:23:24,469 --> 00:23:29,174 >> THAT WAS MADE UNDER DU RES WHILE I WAS BEING BERATED. 440 00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:32,811 >> James: I THINK IT LOOKS LIKE A MAN HAVING A BREAKDOWN. 441 00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:33,678 >> OH MY GOD, OF COURSE. 442 00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:35,881 BUT THIS, THIS IS ALL PART OF THE BREAK. 443 00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:37,082 >> James: PART OF IT. 444 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,618 >> IT MIGHT BE THE BEGINNING, IT MIGHT BE THE END, WHO KNOWS. 445 00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:41,953 THAT IS PART OF IT TOO. 446 00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:45,957 >> James: MAY EMAND REGGIE HAVE BEEN SPENDING QUITE A BIT 447 00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:48,727 OF TIME TOGETHER, WHAT IS GOING ON, ARE YOU TRYING TO BECOME NEW 448 00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:52,063 BEST FRENSD, WHY ARE YOU TWO SPENDING SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER? 449 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:57,469 >> REGGIE RECENTLY DID AN EPISODE OF MY PODCAST, PLAYIM 450 00:23:57,536 --> 00:24:01,540 BIALIK BREAKDOWN AND WE HAD A REALLY, REALLY INCREDIBLE 451 00:24:01,606 --> 00:24:04,442 CONVERSATION AND IT WAS VERY DEEP AND INTERESTING AND FUNNY 452 00:24:04,509 --> 00:24:07,979 AND MY PART SNER-- PARTNER AND HI SUCH A GREAT TIME. 453 00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:12,751 REGGIE WAS ALSO RECENTLY ON CELEBRITY JEOPARDY. 454 00:24:12,818 --> 00:24:14,653 SO EITHER IS HE FOLLOWING ME OR I'M FOLLOWING HIM. 455 00:24:14,719 --> 00:24:16,755 AND THIS IS THE THIRD OF OUR MEETING. 456 00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:19,658 >> James: AND NOW ARE YOU HERE RIGHT NOW. 457 00:24:19,724 --> 00:24:23,895 >> WE WANT TO BE PART OF A THRUPPLE. 458 00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:25,497 >> James: IT'S ALL HE'S EVER WANTED. 459 00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:26,932 THAT IS IT, ALL HE EVER WANTED. 460 00:24:26,998 --> 00:24:30,702 NOW MAX WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON THE NEW SEASON OF THE 461 00:24:30,769 --> 00:24:31,570 NEIGHBORHOOD. 462 00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:34,072 ARE YOU ABOUT TO FILM YOUR 100th EPISODE. 463 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:35,841 IT SAY HEUFNLG ACCOMPLISHMENT. 464 00:24:35,907 --> 00:24:38,810 CAN I REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SHOOTING THE PILOT OF THE SHOW. 465 00:24:38,877 --> 00:24:43,348 HOW AREYOU GOING TO CELEBRATE THE HUNDREDth EPISODE? 466 00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:45,550 >> I DON'T KNOW. 467 00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:49,521 I'M GOING TO TAKE IT DAY BY DAY. 468 00:24:49,588 --> 00:24:52,858 -- CEDRIC IS DIRECTING THE 100th EPISODE WHICH IS THE 469 00:24:52,924 --> 00:24:54,626 MOST EXCITING PART AND WE'LL ALL CELEBRATE TOGETHER. 470 00:24:54,693 --> 00:24:56,061 WE HAVE A GREAT CAST. 471 00:24:56,127 --> 00:24:58,730 I LOVE EVERYBODY IN THE GROUP AND IT WILL BE A REALLY FUN 472 00:24:58,797 --> 00:24:59,831 EXPERIENCE. 473 00:24:59,898 --> 00:25:04,636 I WISH HI SOME SORT OF-- IT REALLY IS JUST, I FEEL SO 474 00:25:04,703 --> 00:25:08,106 GRATEFUL, YOU KNOW, THIS SECOND SHOW MI ON WILL HIT A HUNDRED 475 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:09,274 EPISODES EVERY DAY. 476 00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,810 >> AND THE SHOW KEEPS GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER IT IS 477 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:13,278 ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. 478 00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:15,647 LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHICH AIRS MONDAY 479 00:25:15,714 --> 00:25:18,350 NIGHTS AT 8:00 AND STREAMING ON PARAMOUNT PLUS. 480 00:25:18,416 --> 00:25:21,353 >> I WAS JUST THINKING THAT IT WOULD BE A FATHER SON THING BUT 481 00:25:21,419 --> 00:25:22,454 OBVIOUSLY IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE. 482 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:25,724 >> SO WHAT, I'M GOING TO MESS UP THAT. 483 00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:27,826 YOU CAN'T HAVE FUN IF I'M THERE. 484 00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:28,927 >> NO, NOT AT ALL. 485 00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:31,997 WHEN IT IS ALL THE GUYS, WE DO GUY THINGS. 486 00:25:32,063 --> 00:25:35,533 IF YOU ARE THERE, JUST DIFFERENT. 487 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,536 >> DIFFERENT HOW? 488 00:25:38,603 --> 00:25:40,372 >> OH, DAMN. 489 00:25:40,438 --> 00:25:47,946 >> JUST THINKING IT IS THE KID'S FIRST BASEBALL GAME AND YOU KNOW 490 00:25:48,013 --> 00:25:49,247 HOW MOMS CAN BE. 491 00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:51,316 >> NO, I DON'T, TELL HE ME, DAVE. 492 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,053 >> James: STICK AROUND, MORE WITH THESE TWO WHEN WE COME BACK 493 00:26:06,131 --> 00:26:07,933 >> OH, THIS IS A SURPRISE. 494 00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:10,468 >> SO IS THIS GET UP, NICE HAT. 495 00:26:10,535 --> 00:26:13,571 >> OH, YOU MEAN THE LEASH, PICKED HER NEWSPAPER NASHVILLE. 496 00:26:13,638 --> 00:26:15,907 >> YEAH, MAYBE SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ONE-NIGHT STAND. 497 00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:18,944 >> HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? 498 00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:22,380 >> IT WAS SO GREAT. 499 00:26:22,447 --> 00:26:24,549 TRAVEL IS THE BEST THERAPY. 500 00:26:24,616 --> 00:26:25,684 YOU LEARN. 501 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:29,054 >> REALLY, JUST GOING TO PLAY WHILE I'M TALKING, OKAY. 502 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:29,955 >> SORRY, I GUESS I LEFT NASHVILLE BUT NASHVILLE WON'T 503 00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:31,189 LEAVE ME. 504 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,359 >> I THOUGHT THAT WAS A STOMACH BUG IN MOROCCO, KIND OF THE 505 00:26:34,426 --> 00:26:35,427 SAISM THING BUT ON A BUS. 506 00:26:39,597 --> 00:26:42,968 >> James: THAT WAS A CLIP FROM "CALL ME KAT." 507 00:26:43,034 --> 00:26:50,375 SEASON 3 PREMIERES TOMORROW AT 9:30 P.M. ON FOX. 508 00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,644 CONGRATS ON THE SHOW, WHAT CAN WE LOOK FORWARD TO. 509 00:26:52,711 --> 00:26:55,046 >> MORE OF THE SAISM AND ALSO OF BETTER. 510 00:26:55,113 --> 00:27:02,620 WE HAVE MARIA FERRARI THAT I WORKED WITH ON BINGE BANG 511 00:27:02,687 --> 00:27:05,857 THEORY, AND LAUREN BELL WHO TOOK OVER WITH JIM, SO WE HAVE NEW 512 00:27:05,924 --> 00:27:10,428 BLOOD, NEW WRITERS AND WE'RE ALREADY HAVING A LOT OF FUN 513 00:27:10,495 --> 00:27:12,330 LEARNING A LOT MORE ABOUT THESE CHARACTERS. 514 00:27:12,397 --> 00:27:14,499 AND YOU KNOW, WE'RE VERY COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER AND 515 00:27:14,566 --> 00:27:15,834 WE WERE FROM THE BEGINNING. 516 00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:19,004 BUT FOR US IT IS ONLY GETTING BETTER AS AN ENSEMBLE WHEN WE 517 00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:19,938 GET TO PLAY MORE TOGETHER. 518 00:27:20,005 --> 00:27:24,843 >> James: THE WHOLE COMPANY IS SO BRILLIANT. 519 00:27:24,909 --> 00:27:28,646 THEY JUST SORT OF WERE LIKE 24 NEW EPISODES. 520 00:27:28,713 --> 00:27:32,350 >> 22, WE'VE GOTTEN AN ORDER FOR MORE EVERY YEAR. 521 00:27:32,417 --> 00:27:35,587 >> AND WE PREMIERED DURING COVID WHICH IS NO SMALL FEAT, MAIN 522 00:27:35,653 --> 00:27:39,724 LEAVE OPERATING WITH MASKS, SHIELDS AND GLOVERS AND THINGS 523 00:27:39,791 --> 00:27:44,162 AND SLOWLY WE GET TO SEE MORE OF EACH OTHER, WE ARE STILL PRETTY 524 00:27:44,229 --> 00:27:45,663 LOCKED DOWN, AN INTERESTING WAY TO MAKE A SITCOM. 525 00:27:45,730 --> 00:27:49,334 >> James: ARE YOU THE PERMANENT HOST OF JEOPARDY. 526 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:50,902 THE SHOW IS HAVING HUGE SUCCESS. 527 00:27:50,969 --> 00:27:54,773 HOW DID YOUR FAMILY, HOW DID YOUR MUM REACT TO THIS? 528 00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:57,242 SHE MUST HAVE BEEN VERY EXCITED. 529 00:27:57,308 --> 00:27:58,443 I ONLY IMAGINE. 530 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,912 >> SHE WAS EXCITE BUD SHE DISPTD HE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT 531 00:28:00,979 --> 00:28:01,980 JEOPARDY IS. 532 00:28:02,047 --> 00:28:05,450 SHE KEPT ASKING ME WHY IS EVERYTHING IN A QUESTION? 533 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:06,217 >> THAT SAY TRUE STORY. 534 00:28:06,284 --> 00:28:08,987 >> James: AND HOW DID YOU RESPOND? 535 00:28:09,054 --> 00:28:12,424 >> I SAID THAT'S THE SHOW, THAT'S LITERALLY THE SHOW. 536 00:28:12,490 --> 00:28:16,961 YEAH, SHE WILL SEND ME SCREEN SHOTS OF EVERY EPISODE IN CASE I 537 00:28:17,028 --> 00:28:19,464 FORGOT WHAT I WAS WEARING IN THAT PARTICULAR EPISODE AND I 538 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,767 WILL GETS-- LIKE I REALLY LIKE THIS BLAZER, NOT SO CRAZY ABOUT 539 00:28:22,834 --> 00:28:24,169 THIS TOP. 540 00:28:24,235 --> 00:28:27,505 SHE ALWAYS MANAGES TO CAPTURE A SCREEN SHOT WHERE I'M IN THE 541 00:28:27,572 --> 00:28:30,742 MIDDLE MUCH-- LIKE THINGS LIKE GOT A WHOLE HALF HOUR, FIND A 542 00:28:30,809 --> 00:28:32,811 BETTER SCREEN SHOT, YOU KNOW, NO. 543 00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:34,345 >> James: YOU ARE A BIG JEOPARDY FAN. 544 00:28:34,412 --> 00:28:37,582 >> LOVE IT. 545 00:28:37,649 --> 00:28:39,484 DO YOU THINK WOULD YOU DO WELL ON JEOPARDY. 546 00:28:39,551 --> 00:28:41,686 >> James: I DON'T THINK I WOULD DO VERY WELL AT ALL. 547 00:28:41,753 --> 00:28:43,922 I THINK I WOULD BE BAD, I KNOW IT. 548 00:28:43,988 --> 00:28:46,825 >> I DON'T THINK I WOULD GET 200 DOLLARS ON THAT SHOW. 549 00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:48,793 >> YOU KNOW WHO WAS GOOD, THIS GUY. 550 00:28:48,860 --> 00:28:52,030 >> James: REGGIE WATT, DID HE DO WELL. 551 00:28:52,097 --> 00:28:53,231 >> DID YOU WIN? 552 00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:57,635 >> WE CAN'T SAY BUT HE IS AN EXCEPTIONALLY SMART, WELL-READ, 553 00:28:57,702 --> 00:28:58,236 WELL VERSED. 554 00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:00,038 >> James: HE WON, HE WON. 555 00:29:00,105 --> 00:29:02,774 >> I'M NOT SAYING THAT, I'M NOT SAYING THAT. 556 00:29:02,841 --> 00:29:03,475 >> James: HE WON. 557 00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:05,210 HERE YOU GO, THIS IS HOW I KNOW. 558 00:29:05,276 --> 00:29:10,882 THE WINNER OF CELEBRITY JEOPARDY , ANSWER. 559 00:29:10,949 --> 00:29:11,983 WHO IS REGGIE WATTS. 560 00:29:12,050 --> 00:29:14,385 >> NO, YOU SAID THAT, NOT ME. 561 00:29:14,452 --> 00:29:16,921 >> REGGIE, I HEAR THE BUZZ IS TRICKY. 562 00:29:16,988 --> 00:29:18,056 >> MAN, I TELL YOU. 563 00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:18,456 IT IS. 564 00:29:18,523 --> 00:29:18,923 IT IS. 565 00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:20,125 IT SAN ART FORM. 566 00:29:20,191 --> 00:29:24,395 I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD JUST GET SHIPPED BACK TO-- JUST BE LIKE 567 00:29:24,462 --> 00:29:30,168 OH, I FEEL T NOW I FEEL IT I WAS JUST LIKE-- AH, WHAT? 568 00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:33,338 THERE WAS A LOT OF THAT, BUT THEN SOMETIMES, OH, YEAH, SO A 569 00:29:33,404 --> 00:29:34,372 LOT OF THAT. 570 00:29:34,439 --> 00:29:37,075 >> James: WELL, CONGRATS ON WINNING YOUR EPISODE. 571 00:29:37,142 --> 00:29:37,575 >> I DIDN'T SAY THAT. 572 00:29:37,642 --> 00:29:40,078 >> James: WELL DONE. 573 00:29:40,145 --> 00:29:42,514 NOW MAX, THIS IS SUPER EXCITING. 574 00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:47,252 YOUR SECOND CHILDREN'S BOOK, THIS BOOK IS NOT A PRESENT. 575 00:29:47,318 --> 00:29:48,086 TELL US ABOUT THE BOO. 576 00:29:48,153 --> 00:29:49,454 I'M EXCITED FOR THIS. 577 00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:50,522 >> YEAH, SO AM I. 578 00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:53,958 IT IS A FOLLOWUP TO, I DON'T WANT TO READ THIS BOOK. 579 00:29:54,025 --> 00:29:56,427 WE FELT LIKE THERE WAS MORE TO SAY SO THIS IS CALLED, THIS BOOK 580 00:29:56,494 --> 00:29:57,896 IS NOT A PRESENT. 581 00:29:57,962 --> 00:30:01,499 IF YOU HAVE EVER SEEN YOUR CHILD AS HAVE I SEEN MINE OPEN UP A 582 00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:07,205 PRESENT AND REALIZE IT IS A BOOK AND BE DISAPPOINTED, THIS IS ALL 583 00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:08,273 THE REASONS WHY. 584 00:30:08,339 --> 00:30:10,842 AND IT IS SORT OF WALKS YOU THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE. 585 00:30:10,909 --> 00:30:12,944 AND ALLOWS A CHILD TO, DON'T TELL THEM, BUT READ A BOOK ABOUT 586 00:30:13,011 --> 00:30:13,611 THAT EXPERIENCE. 587 00:30:13,678 --> 00:30:15,947 >> James: THAT SAY GREAT IDEA. 588 00:30:16,014 --> 00:30:16,981 STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY. 589 00:30:17,048 --> 00:30:19,050 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 590 00:30:33,998 --> 00:30:36,901 >> James: WE'RE BACK WITH MAYIM BIALIK AND MAX GREENFIELD. 591 00:30:36,968 --> 00:30:44,943 REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUESTS? 592 00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:47,478 >> Reggie: YES, TONIGHT'S QUESTION, THIS ONE SENT IN FROM 593 00:30:47,545 --> 00:30:47,779 TWITTER. 594 00:30:47,845 --> 00:30:48,980 >> YEAH. 595 00:30:49,047 --> 00:30:56,087 >> Reggie: THE EQUINOX IS A PHENOMENON KNOWN TO THE ANCIENT 596 00:30:56,154 --> 00:30:59,824 SENSE, THE ALL-TIME, I'M JUST PARAPHRASING BECAUSE THERE ARE 597 00:30:59,891 --> 00:31:01,159 SOME NAUGHTY WORDS. 598 00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:05,663 WHAT IS THE BIGGEST EQUINOX YOU'VE EVER HAD? 599 00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:14,239 >> I HONESTLY AM NOT A MEMBER OF EQUINOXMENT I WORK OUT AT 600 00:31:14,305 --> 00:31:15,373 CRUNCH. 601 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:16,774 YOU KNOW, YOU SIGN UP AND THEN YOU ARE A MEMBER FOREVER. 602 00:31:16,841 --> 00:31:18,309 VERY HARD TO GET OUT OF THAT. 603 00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:22,680 SO THAT IS NOT FOR ME. 604 00:31:22,747 --> 00:31:24,682 >> YOM KIP YOU ARE, LAST YEAR. 605 00:31:24,749 --> 00:31:27,151 >> Reggie: YEAH, THAT'S CORRECT. 606 00:31:27,218 --> 00:31:31,923 >> James: IT'S ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. 607 00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:32,924 REGGIE, MAY IMBIALIK, MAX GREEN FIELD. 608 00:31:32,991 --> 00:31:34,993 STAND UP FROM JAMALI MADDIX WHEN WE COME BACK. 609 00:31:53,011 --> 00:31:57,949 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> James: OUR NEXT GUEST IS A 610 00:31:58,016 --> 00:32:02,887 U.S. NETWORK TELEVISION DEBUT HERE WITH US TONIGHT. 611 00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:05,089 YOU CAN SEE HIM LIVE IN L.A., PORTLAND, AND SEATTLE THIS FALL. 612 00:32:05,156 --> 00:32:08,626 PLEASE WELCOME, YOUR NEW FAVORITE COMEDIAN, JAMALI 613 00:32:08,693 --> 00:32:10,795 MADDIX! 614 00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:21,739 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> YO. 615 00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:22,273 THANK YOU. 616 00:32:22,340 --> 00:32:22,640 YO. 617 00:32:22,707 --> 00:32:24,709 WHAT'S GOOD? 618 00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:26,411 HEY, YES, NICE TO BE HERE. 619 00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:30,948 MI FROM ENGLAND AND I KNOW I'M NOT THE GUY OFF THE BROCHURE BUT 620 00:32:31,015 --> 00:32:35,553 I AM ENGLISH, WEIRD BECAUSE WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE THIS, BECAUSE 621 00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:38,489 NOBODY KNOWS WHERE I AM FROM. 622 00:32:38,556 --> 00:32:41,659 LIKE EVERYWHERE I GO THINK I AM SOMEWHERE ELSE. 623 00:32:41,726 --> 00:32:46,264 LIKE GENUINELY EVERYWHERE I GO, IN ENGLAND THEY THINK I'M FROM 624 00:32:46,331 --> 00:32:50,134 PAKISTAN AM I WENT TO ISRAEL AND THEY THOUGHT I WAS FROM 625 00:32:50,201 --> 00:32:50,835 PALESTINE. 626 00:32:50,902 --> 00:32:52,403 HERE THEY THINK I'M FROM ARABIA. 627 00:32:52,470 --> 00:33:01,713 I REALIZE THAT I LOOK LIKE EVERY RACE THAT EVERY-- EVERY COUNTRY 628 00:33:01,779 --> 00:33:03,781 HATES. 629 00:33:03,848 --> 00:33:09,754 THANK YOU FOR THAT ONE CLAP, I APPRECIATE IT. 630 00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:13,191 (APPLAUSE) I'M 31 NOW, 31 WHICH IS TRASH. 631 00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,995 HATE BEING 316789 I'VE REALIZED HAVE I BECOME IRRELEVANT. 632 00:33:18,062 --> 00:33:19,364 I REALIZED I'M JITION IRRELEVANT NOW. 633 00:33:19,430 --> 00:33:22,533 I AM EAT AT THAT WEIRD STAGE OF IRRELEVANCY. 634 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,204 LIKE I KNOW WHAT TIKTOK S BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY. 635 00:33:26,270 --> 00:33:31,376 LIKE I'M THERE. 636 00:33:31,442 --> 00:33:33,144 LIKE THANK YOU. 637 00:33:33,211 --> 00:33:34,579 THE VIDEOS ARE TOO QUICK. 638 00:33:34,645 --> 00:33:38,182 I HAVE JUST OPENED MY EYES AND THE VIDEO IS DONE. 639 00:33:38,249 --> 00:33:40,918 LIKE I WANT MORE INDIVIDUAL YOVMENT I KNOW, THIS IS WHEN I 640 00:33:40,985 --> 00:33:43,821 REALLY KNEW I WAS IRTD, IT HAPPENED LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO. 641 00:33:43,888 --> 00:33:44,922 I WAS IN LONDON AND I GOT INTO A FIST FIGHT WITH ANOTHER 30 YEAR 642 00:33:44,989 --> 00:33:46,457 OLD MAN. 643 00:33:46,524 --> 00:33:49,327 AND HALFWAY THROUGH THE FIGHT WE BOTH JUST LOOKED AT EACH OTHER 644 00:33:49,394 --> 00:33:51,496 AND SAID SHOULD WE HAVE A BREAK. 645 00:33:51,562 --> 00:34:00,571 I WAS DONE.AT THAT POINT I KNEW- REALIZE I'M SOFT. 646 00:34:00,638 --> 00:34:01,339 REALIZE I'M SOFT. 647 00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:03,441 I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS A SURVIVOR. 648 00:34:03,508 --> 00:34:04,809 I'M NOT A SURVIVOR. 649 00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:06,444 I'M NOT BUILT FOR THIS LIFE. 650 00:34:06,511 --> 00:34:10,715 I'M TELLING YOU, I REALIZE THIS-- I WAS IN L.A. AND I WAS 651 00:34:10,782 --> 00:34:14,185 DOWNTOWN L.A., GETTING AN UBER AND SITTING IN MY UBERMENT I GET 652 00:34:14,252 --> 00:34:18,256 OUT OF THE UBER AND I LEFT MY PHONE IN THE UBER AND I TRIED TO 653 00:34:18,322 --> 00:34:21,959 CHASE THE UBER BUT I'M NOT AS FAST AS A CAR. 654 00:34:22,026 --> 00:34:23,194 AND IT IS GONE. 655 00:34:23,261 --> 00:34:27,031 AND ONCE I REALIZED THAT HAVE I MY NO FUN AND I HAVE NOTHING, 656 00:34:27,098 --> 00:34:28,866 AND MY PHONE IS EVERYTHING, IT IS EVERYTHING. 657 00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:33,971 IT IS MY COMMUNICATION T IS MY MONEY, IT'S EVERYTHING. 658 00:34:34,038 --> 00:34:39,911 AND THERE WAS AT NO POINT DID I THINK ABOUT THE-- LIKE I DIDN'T 659 00:34:39,977 --> 00:34:43,281 GO MAN, I BETTER LEARN HOW TO READ THE BUS, HAVE A 660 00:34:43,347 --> 00:34:44,248 CONVERSATION. 661 00:34:44,315 --> 00:34:46,184 I LOOKED UP, LOOKED TO THE SIDE AND WENT WHAT? 662 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,186 I LIVE HERE NOW, THAT IS IT. 663 00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:53,458 I LIVE HERE NOW. 664 00:34:53,524 --> 00:34:56,093 (APPLAUSE) AND I SAW A BUNCH OF HOMELESS 665 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:57,028 PEOPLE. 666 00:34:57,094 --> 00:34:58,896 I AM LIKE THEY ARE NOT EVEN HOMELESS PEOPLE. 667 00:34:58,963 --> 00:35:03,167 THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE THAT LEFT THEIR HOMES IN UBER, AND NOW 668 00:35:03,234 --> 00:35:04,268 THEY LIVE HERE NOW. 669 00:35:04,335 --> 00:35:06,170 I WARE MY LIFE WILL GET BETTERMENT I STARTED THERAPY. 670 00:35:06,237 --> 00:35:09,640 THAT IS MY NEW STUFFMENT I GO TO THERAPY. 671 00:35:09,707 --> 00:35:14,846 THE BEST WAY TO EXPLAIN THERAPY IS EACH WEEK I GO AND HEAR THE 672 00:35:14,912 --> 00:35:20,117 MOST JUICIST GOSSIP BUT IT'S ALL ABOUT ME, IT IS ALL STUFF HAVE I 673 00:35:20,184 --> 00:35:20,585 DONE. 674 00:35:20,651 --> 00:35:22,153 HIS DAD SAID WHAT? 675 00:35:22,220 --> 00:35:27,225 OH YEAH, THAT WAS MY DAD, MY DAD SAID THAT GOT TO FIRE MY 676 00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:30,628 THERAPIST BECAUSE HE HAD TOO MUCH FUN. 677 00:35:30,695 --> 00:35:32,129 HE WILL BE GIGGLING AND STUFF. 678 00:35:32,196 --> 00:35:34,999 I WILL BE LIKE YEAH, THIS IS ABOUT TO END. 679 00:35:35,066 --> 00:35:37,201 YEAH, YEAH, BUT WHERE WOULD I GO? 680 00:35:37,268 --> 00:35:38,169 >> Reggie: WHAT. 681 00:35:38,236 --> 00:35:42,773 >> I'M LIKE WELL, YOU MIGHT FIND OUT NEXT WEEK. 682 00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:48,513 , LEAVE HIM ON A CLIFFHANGER. 683 00:35:48,579 --> 00:35:52,216 I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS FUNNY BUT I LIKE SAYING IT, MY 684 00:35:52,283 --> 00:35:56,420 THERAPIST SAID TO ME THAT I'VE GOT TO DO STUFF THAT MAKES ME 685 00:35:56,487 --> 00:36:01,292 FEEL MORE SAFE AND SECURE SO I BROUGHT A-- SAMURAI SWORD. 686 00:36:01,359 --> 00:36:02,059 THAT WAS MY ANSWER. 687 00:36:02,126 --> 00:36:07,298 I WAS JUST LIKE GO AWAY, FEELINGS. 688 00:36:07,365 --> 00:36:09,534 THERAPIST SAID THAT I LIKE CHAOS TOO MUCH. 689 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:10,001 I THINK THAT'S TRUE. 690 00:36:10,067 --> 00:36:11,469 LIKE I LIKE CHAOS. 691 00:36:11,536 --> 00:36:14,138 I REALIZE THAT AT A YOUNG AGE BECAUSE I REMEMBER ONE TIME, 692 00:36:14,205 --> 00:36:19,176 WHEN I WAS 16 I GOT HIT BY A BRICK. 693 00:36:19,243 --> 00:36:19,610 WELL, OKAY. 694 00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:21,145 IT SOUNDS WORSE. 695 00:36:21,212 --> 00:36:24,015 BASICALLY I'M HANGING OUT WITH MY FRIEND JAY AND MY FRIEND SAYS 696 00:36:24,081 --> 00:36:29,687 YO, JAMALI, WE'RE GOING TO GO BURGAL A HOUSINGS AND I SAID 697 00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:33,658 ROB, I AIN'T BURGALING NO HOUSE, HE SAID WHAT ARE YOU, A COWARD, 698 00:36:33,724 --> 00:36:36,060 SO I BURGER BURGLED A HOUSE. 699 00:36:36,127 --> 00:36:40,431 NOW WE DIDN'T KNOW SOMEBODY WAS HOME SO WE BURGALED AND IT IS 700 00:36:40,498 --> 00:36:45,436 ONE OF THOSE HOUSES THAT IS SO POSH THAT IT IS DUSTY. 701 00:36:45,503 --> 00:36:47,238 WE ARE TAKING MITS TO STUFF AND WE SEE THIS OLD MAN AT THE TOP 702 00:36:47,305 --> 00:36:51,842 OF THE STAIRS AND I'M THINKING OH CRAP WHAT WILL WE DO ABOUT 703 00:36:51,909 --> 00:36:55,680 THIS OLD MAN, ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER HE FINDS US AND STARTS 704 00:36:55,746 --> 00:36:57,848 BEATING ME WITH BRICK. 705 00:36:57,915 --> 00:37:01,552 MY FRIEND JAY RUNS AWAY, CUZ HE'S A GOOD FRIEND. 706 00:37:01,619 --> 00:37:03,454 HE'S IN PRISON NOW. 707 00:37:03,521 --> 00:37:06,724 HA HA. 708 00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:10,995 ANYWAY-- I HAVE BEEN HIT WITH A BRICK AND I'M BLEEDING AND ARE 709 00:37:11,062 --> 00:37:13,331 YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE AND THE LAST THING I HEARD THE GUY SAY, 710 00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:21,872 YOU SEE THAT, YOU SEE THAT, YOU SAID I WAS PARANOID TO LEAVE 711 00:37:21,939 --> 00:37:23,207 LEAD WITH A BRICK. 712 00:37:23,274 --> 00:37:24,709 ANYWAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 713 00:37:24,775 --> 00:37:27,678 >> Reggie: WOW. 714 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:30,715 >> James: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, COME ON. 715 00:37:30,781 --> 00:37:32,516 WHAT A STAR. 716 00:37:32,583 --> 00:37:36,921 JAMALI MADDIX, SEE HIM LIVE. 717 00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:38,990 JAMALI MADDIX.COM, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY. 718 00:37:53,971 --> 00:37:55,906 ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> James: TOMORROW NIGHT, BILLY 719 00:37:55,973 --> 00:37:57,608 EICHNER, MAYA HAWKE, AND MUSIC FROM MOUNT JOY. 720 00:37:57,675 --> 00:37:59,677 REGGIE, TAKE US HOME!