♪ ARE YOU READY, Y'ALL TO HAVE SOME FUN
♪ IT WILL BE ALL RIGHT.
♪ IT'S THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
>> Reggie: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ALL THE WAY FROM
INSIDE A ROLLED UP PIECE OF PERCENT CARPET, GIVE IT UP FOR
YOUR HOST, THE ONE, THE ONLY JAMES CORDEN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> James: HOW ARE YOU.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
HELLO, GOOD EVENING.
WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW," BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE.
THANKS FOR STAYING UP.
THANKS FOR HANGING OUT WITH US. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AND SEE WHO
OUR GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.
HE IS AN EMMY AND GOLDEN GLOBE-WINNING ACTOR YOU KNOW
FROM "THE WEST WING," "NYPD BLUE," "IN THE HEIGHTS," AND SO
THE SUPREMELY TALENTED, JIMMY SMITTS IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) HI, JIMMY HOW ARE YOU.
>> HE'S FINE, HE'S FINE, HE'S NINE.
HE'S WAITING FOR YOU, JAMES.
>> James: GOOD, YEAH, IS HE-- ON DRUGS?
HOW ARE YOU, JIMMY, YOU WELL.
>> I'M GOOD, JAMES, CAN'T WAIT TO SIGH.
>> James: SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE, JIMMY SUBMITS, EVERYBODY.
HE IS THE TERRIFIC AND HILARIOUS ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "SILICON
VALLEY," "THE OFFICE," AND "AVENUE FIVE."
HE'S ONE OF OUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITES!
WHOEVER COMES THROUGH THE DOORS OF THIS SHOW, THE
THE DELIGHTFUL, THE BEAUTIFUL, ZACH WOODS IS ON THE SHOW
TONIGHT!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THERE HE IS!
HOW ARE YOU, ZACH?
>> ARE YOU THE WONDERFUL BUN BABY.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU DOCK.
>> I DIDN'T SLEEP ENOUGH SO I HAVE BEEN MAIN LINING DIET COKE
BACK HERE AND WILL BE A SPEED FREAK FROM HELL.
>> James: OH, YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE A SPEED FREAK.
>> NOT YET BUT WAIT UNTIL I GET OUT.
THERE I WILL REALLY MENACE YOUR AUDIENCE.
>> James: CAN I BE HONEST, I AM LOOKING AT THIS AUDIENCE
RIGHT NOW AND THEY WOULD LOVE NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE MENACE
BY ZACH WOOD.
AND AND HE IS A TREMENDOUSLY
TALENTED STAND-UP COMEDIAN, AND WE'RE THRILLED HE'LL BE MAKING
HIS LATE-NIGHT DEBUT HERE WITH US TONIGHT.
THE UTTERLY BRILLIANT GREG STONE IS HERE TONIGHT.
HEY GREG, HOW ARE YOU?
>> WHERE IS SUBMITS AND WHERE IS MY MONEY?
>> James: SHOULD I TELL YOU WHERE HE IS.
>> IF HE IS NOT HERE IN TEN MINUTE, LET'S SAY BIG TROUBLE IN
LITTLE CHINA IS NOT JUST A MOVIE.
>> James: WHERE GREG, GREG, GREG, IF YOU GO BACK INTO YOUR
ROOM, YOU KNOW THERE IS A DOOR THERE, GO WITH THE CAMERA, GO
WITH THE CAMERA, IN YOUR ROOM, SEE THAT DOOR, SEE TA DOOR, BANG
ON THAT DOOR, SAY SUBMIT WHERE IS MY MONEY.
>> SUBMIT, WHERE IS MY MONEY!
>> WHAT?
>> YOU GOT SOME NERVE BEING ON THIS SHOW WITHOUT MY MONEY,
SUBMITS.
YOU'RE NEVER GETTING THAT MONEY, YOU WILL NEVER GET THAT MONEY!
>> I PUT MY LIFE IN THE JIMMY SUBMITS-- AND YOU OWE ME TEN
POINTS OFFER THE BACK END.
>> YOU WILL NEVER GET IT BACK.
>> THIS IS ON YOU CORDO.
>> James: OH, THERE HE IS.
GET HIM, GETS HIM.
OH, YOU MISSED HIM.
WE'LL FIGURE THIS WHOLE THING OUT, WE LOVE YOU, GREG STONE,
EVERYBODY.
ARE YOU READY?
ROLL THE TITLE, COME ON.
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW OH, OH.
♪ THE LATE LATE
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO!
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH!
♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪
Captioning sponsored by CBS
>> James: WE LOVE TVMENT I'M IN A GOOD ZONE.
NOT GOING TO LIE, GUYS, YOU CAUGHT ME ON A GOOD ONE.
>> YOU'RE COOKING.
>> I'M ABSOLUTELY COOKING.
>> HELL YEAH.
>> DAVE KNOWS I'M COOKING.
>> I THINK WE'RE ALL COOKING, JAMES.
>> KNOW WHY WE ARE COOKING? ZACH WOOD SONS THE SHOW AND WE
LOVE TESTIFY REE TIME, EVERY TIME HE STOPS BY.
HIM, JIMMY, GREG, GREAT SHOW, WE HAVE NO TIME TO CHAT BECAUSE ST
THAT TIME, IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS.
(MUSIC) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
SNOATS EVERY SINCE EL DAY'S THE NEWS.
♪ YES, THE NEWS.
♪ CHEESIER.
♪.
>> EVERY SINGLE DAY ASK THE NEWS.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> James: STEVE, I DON'T SAY THIS ENOUGH, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE
YOU.
>> I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
>> James: I LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU.
>> I LOVE YOU.
>> James: BUT WE DO HAVE TO DO THE NEWS.
AND >> James: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT
THIS?
IT'S WHAT WE PROFESSIONALS CALLING A SEGUE.
AND DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS.
THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE HAS NOW CHARGED FIVE I.R.S.
EMPLOYEES WITH STEALING $1 MILLION IN TAXPAYER MONEY FROM
COVID-RELIEF PROGRAMS.
AND THEY USED THE MONEY TO BUY CARS, LUXURY GOODS, AND TRIPS TO
LAS VEGAS.
OFFICIALS BECAME SUSPICIOUS WHEN THE I.R.S. EMPLOYEES SUDDENLY
STARTED ENJOYING THEIR JOBS.
THE MONEY WENT TO THINGS LIKE JEWELRY, GUCCI CLOTHING,
MANICURES, TRIPS TO LAS VEGAS, AND A MERCEDES BENZ.
AND THE REST OF THE MONEY?
THEY JUST WASTED.
WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS BUY SUCH COMICALLY LUXURIOUS THINGS AFTER
THEY STEAL MONEY?
RECENT DO YOU THINK YEAH, MY BOSS SUSPECT GOING NOTICE WHEN
I START SHOWING UP TO WORK IN A BENZ AND THESE GUCCI LOAFERS!
I'LL JUST SAY THEY'RE FAKE!" IF YOU STEAL $1 MILLION FROM
YOUR WORKPLACE-- AND I'M SURE YOU HAVE-- WHAT SHOULD YOU SPEND
IT ON?
>> BEANIE BABIES.
>> James: GO ON.
>> THEY'RE COMING BACK.
THEY'RE COMING BACK.
I THINK THEY HIT A LOW.
>> James: YOU ARE LOOKING AT THEM LIKE STOCKS.
>> I THINK WE ARE BUYING BEANIE BAOBABBEES ON THE LOW AND A HUGE
BOWJ BARK.
>> James: WHAT DO THEY COST.
>> ANYWHERE FROM 99 CENTS AND $20,000, STILL IN CIRCULATION,
WE ARE BUYING THE PENNY.
>> James: YOU LIKE A DOLLAR A BEANIE BABY AND YOU CAN SELL
THOSE IN FIVE YEARS TIME.
>> IT IS ABOUT TO GET MORE COZY OUT.
THERE AND YEAH, I THINK I JUST MICROTRADE BEANIE BAB EYES.
THEY DON'T RETIRE, THEY COULD COME SEE ME ON A BOATS.
>> James: I WILL BE THERE, THAT'S IT PETE WHAT WOULD YOU
SPEND A MILLION BUCKS ON.
>> IF I STEEL A MILLION BUCKSES FROM MY BOSS.
>> James: UH-HUH.
>> I WOULD KEEP IT SUBTLE LIKE A WHOLE SEARS OF NICE HAWAIIAN
SHIRTS.
AND, WE THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING.
ACCORDING TO NEW RESEARCH, SCREEN TIME COULD ACTUALLY BE
GOOD FOR A YOUNG BRAIN.
SCIENTISTS SAY WATCHING TELEVISION WITH YOUR CHILD CAN
BOOST THEIR COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
GO WAKE THE KIDS UP!
GET THEM OUT HERE!
GET THEM WATCHING THIS.
WATCHING TV CAN HELP YOUR CHILD'S BRAIN DEVELOP.
IT'S TRUE.
JUST ONE HOUR OF TELEVISION TEACHES THEM ABOUT 30 DIFFERENT
PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.
THEY STILL SAY THAT SOLO SCREEN-TIME IS HARMFUL, BUT
WATCHING TV WITH A PARENT AND USING IT AS A TOOL IS
BENEFICIAL.
SO GO AHEAD, WATCH "YELLOWSTONE" WITH YOUR KIDS.
THEN, FINALLY TALK TO THEM ABOUT WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO KILL A MAN
WITH YOUR BARE HANDS.
OWE MOVEK ON.
AND, A BRAZILIAN COUPLE IS UNDER FIRE AFTER THEIR GENDER
REVEAL STUNT WENT VIRAL, FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.
AS PART OF THE REVEAL, THEY DYED A WATERFALL BLUE.
AND THEY ARE NOW BEING INVESTIGATED FOR AN
ENVIRONMENTAL CRIME.
LOOK AT THAT.
IT LOOKS LIKE A DELETED SCENE FROM "AVATAR."
THE MOST SHOCKING PART ABOUT THIS STORY IS THAT IT WAS NOT IN
AMERICA.
THE STUNT TRIGGERED OUTRAGE, BECAUSE THE RIVER SUPPLIES WATER
TO A NEARBY TOWN.
SAY WHAT YOU WILL, BUT THAT CHILD WILL GROW UP KNOWING HIS
PARENTS LOVED HIM ENOUGH TO POISON AN ENTIRE VILLAGE.
NOW GENDER REVEALS, WHEN DOES IT STOP, HOW MANY TRAGEDIES HAVE TO
HAPPEN FOR PEOPLE TO JUST GO, LET'S JUST STOP DOING THIS?
>> DO YOU THINK WE STOP DOING STUFF IN THIS COUNTRY WHEN A
TRAGEDY HAPPENS?
>> I THINK, I THINK WE HAVE TO STOP LETTING PATIENTSES DO IT I
THINK WE LET, WHEN THE KID, WHEN THEY GROW UP AND THIS WORKS WITH
GENDER FLUIDITY, WHEN THEY DECIDE WHAT GENDER THEY WANT TO
PRESENT AS, WE LET THE KID DO THEIR OWN GENDER REVEAL.
>> James: I LIKE THAT.
I LIKE THAT.
IMAGINE TURNING UP THERE.
TO THAT GENDER REVEAL PARTY.
I WOULD BE LIKE [BLEEP], YOU IDIOT.
THEY GO WE'RE HAVING A BABY, WELL CLEARLY, YOU [BLEEP]
SHOULDN'T HAVE ONE.
AND, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?
A JEWELRY COMPANY IS NOW SELLING THE WORLD'S FIRST "PUMPKIN SPICE
ENGAGEMENT RING."
THE RING BOX COMES WITH A PUMPKIN CLOSURE LATCH, AND
SMELLS LIKE PUMPKIN SPICE WHEN OPENED.
THE PRICE?
$11,300.
HERE IT IS HERE.
LOOK AT THAT.
"AND DO YOU, EDWARD, TAKE MELISSA AS YOUR LAWFULLY
BASIC BITCH?" A PUMPKIN SPICE ENGAGEMENT RING
FOR MORE THAN $11,000.
YOU JUST KNOW THE MARKETING PERSON WAS LIKE, "IF SOMEONE IS
STUPID ENOUGH TO PAY $5,000 FOR THIS, THEY'LL BE STUPID ENOUGH
TO PAY $11,000 FOR THIS."
AND, THIS IS NICE, THE PUMPKIN SPICE RING EVEN COMES
PRE-ENGRAVED TO READ, "SO, SHE SAID NO."
AND FINALLY, SCIENTISTS HAVE NOW CREATED A NEW MOBILE GAME
THAT CAN SAVE YOUR EYESIGHT.
IT'S TRUE.
THE GAME "METEOR BLASTER" ACTUALLY TESTS YOUR EYES FOR
SYMPTOMS OF GLAUCOMA WHILE YOU PLAY IT.
AND YOU KNOW THE VIDEO GAME IS FUN, BECAUSE IT WAS CREATED BY
GLAUCOMA RESEARCHERS.
THE GOAL IS TO SHOOT METEORS.
IF YOU GET A BAD SCORE, THEN IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE DOCTOR.
THAT IS WHAT YOU DO, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY THIS IS GOING,
WHERE DOES IT TENGD.
MS. PAC MAN TELLING ME I SHOULD SEE A THERAPIST?
BUT SCIENTIFIC VIDEO GAMES ARE NOTHING NEW.
I BREATHE A LOT EASIER EVERY SPRING THANKS TO "CALL OF DUTY:
SEASONAL ALLERGIES."
AND THAT'S THE NEWS!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE "LATE LATE SHOW!"
>> James: WELCOME BACK.
IF THERE'S ONE THING WE LOVE DOING HERE, IT'S LOOKING AT
WE LOVE A LOT OF THINGS, WHAT DO WE LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
>> WE LOVE LOOKING AT DOGS IN SUNGLASS.
>> James: WE LOVE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF DOGS WEARING
SUNGLASSES, IT IS A FACT.
BUT WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW, ARE YOU PROBABLY THINKING WHY, WHY DO
THEY DO THAT I WILL TELL YOU WHY.
BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT MORE THAN DOGS IN SUNGLASSES THAT MEETS
THEIR EYE, SO I WILL TELL YOU A LITTLE ABOUT THEIR
PERSONALITIES, TO LET YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE ALL ABOUT.
THIS IS "DOGS IN SUNGLASSES."
(MUSIC) >> Reggie: "DOGS IN SUNGLASSES."
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Reggie: DOGS IN SUNGLASS.
PROTECTION FOR THEIR EYES.
YES!
PROTECT YOUR EYES.
HEY.
DOGS!
SUNGLASSES.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> James: I WANT TO TALK TO
YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
F GHIE, THIS GUY IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
A WEREWOLF BITES SOMEONE IN PORTLAND.
THIS GUY?
THIS GUY IS ABSOLUTELY, 100%, REPLACING YOUR DAD.
THIS GUY?
THIS GUY DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE.
HE JUST WANTS TO WATCH WHILE YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE.
LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY HAS GOTTEN EIGHT FREE DINNERS PRETENDING TO BE
DAVID CROSBY.
IAN, YOU GOOD FOR A MINUTE, I KNOW ARE YOU RUSHING OFF FOR THE
BREAK, BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO TELL BUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY'S FAVORITE MOVIE IS "GEOSTORM," STARRING GERARD
BUTLER.
THIS GUY WANTS YOU TO KNOW HE HIRED YOU, NOT BECAUSE
YOU'RE HOT, BUT BECAUSE YOU'RE SMOKIN' HOT.
THIS GUY'S TIE IS CLIP-ON, BUT HIS PENIS IS TIED IN A DOUBLE
WINDSOR.
LETD ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS GAL.
THIS GAL?
THIS GAL IS THE ONE WHO TOLD GAL GADOT TO DO THAT "IMAGINE"
VIDEO.
FOR SOME REASON, THERE ARE MORE THAN 3,000 PHOTOS OF THIS GAL ON
HUNTER BIDEN'S LAPTOP.
WILL ME TALK TO BUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY HOOKED UP WITH HIS COUSIN, BUT HE'S ONLY
EMBARRASSED BECAUSE IT "WASN'T THE HOT ONE."
THIS GUY?
THIS GUY IS CURRENTLY STARING AT WHAT HE CALLS "A PAIR OF MONDO
GAZONGAS."
LAUREN, I KNOW ARE YOU DOING THE EDIT, DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE.
>> GREAT, BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO TELL BUT THIS GAL.
THIS GAL HAS FIVE KIDS-- BUT ONLY REMEMBERS GIVING
BIRTH TO THREE.
THIS GAL?
THIS GAL HAS ESCAPED THROUGH A BATHROOM WINDOW DURING SEVEN
DIFFERENT INTERVENTIONS.
>> James: OH GOD, I JUST READ THIS ONE.
THIS GAL?
THIS GAL DESCRIBES HER LABIA AS "BILLOWING."
(LAUGHTER) WHO WROTE THAT.
>> THERE WAS A FIGHT ABOUT THIS.
>> James: WAS THAT YOU NATE.
>> ROB DIDN'T WANT ME TO PUT IT IN.
I PUT THE EXECUTIVE DECISION THAT IT HAD TO BE SAID.
>> James: YOU DON'T LIKE A BILLOWING LABIA.
>> WELL, I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THESE BEFORE SO YOU
ARE READING THEM LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
>> James: DO YOU THINK THAT IS HALF THE FUN.
>> NO, ABSOLUTELY BUT I THOUSAND BILLOWING LABIA IS GOING TO ABE
TOUGH ONE.
>> James: DO YOU SAY LABORIA.
>> HE WITH SAY LABIA.
>> James: OH, LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF.
YOU SAY LABIA, AND I SAY LABIA.
>> LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY THINKS DEEP-FRIED TWINKIES ARE AN APHRODISIAC.
THIS GUY?
THIS GUY FORGOT TO SET HIS ALARM AND STORMED THE CAPITAL ON
JANUARY 7th.
LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY'S LIFE WAS CHANGED AFTER HE INVESTED IN CRYPTO.
IT MADE HIM LOSE HIS HOUSE AND HIS FAMILY.
THIS GUY?
THIS GUY IS A FAN OF QUIET QUITTING.
AND LOUD [BLEEP].
THAT WAS "DOGS IN SUNGLASSES!" WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> James: WELCOME BACK.
LOOK S THAT A NEW BASS GUITAR OR ONE I HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE.
>> I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.
ST GORGEOUS, RIGHT?
>> James: IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BASS GUITAR I HAVE
EVER SEEN.
>> THANK YOU, FENDER JUST SENTED ME THIS, I'M JUST IN SHOCK.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL,.
>> James: LOOK AT IT GIVE US A BIG-- OH.
ITS A HE A BEAUTY.
LET'S LET'S MEET OUR GUESTS TONIGHT!
HE STARS IN "AVENUE 5."
PLEASE WELCOME ZACH WOODS!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Reggie: IT'S ZACH WOODS!
>> James: HE STARS IN "EAST NEW YORK."
PLEASE WELCOME JIMMY SMITTS!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Reggie: IT'S JIMMY SMITTS!
>> James: I'M SO HAPPY ARE YOU HERE.
ZACH, WE LOVE IT EVERY TIME ARE YOU COMING THROUGH THE DOOR, WE
LOVE IT EVERY TIME YOU ARE ON THE SHOW, SO THRILLED ARE YOU
HERE.
JIMMY, YOUR FIRST TIME HERE ON THE SHOW BUT WE'VE MET BEFORE.
>> WE HAVE.
>> James: OUR PATHS HAVE CROSSED, YES.
>> YEAH.
>> James: THEY HAVE.
>> THEY HAVE.
>> James: I REMEMBER MEETING YOU, I WAS SO STAR STRUCK AND
THRILLED.
>> NO, YOU WERE WONDERFUL.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU KNOW HOW AN ACCOMPLISHED ACTOR AND COMEDIAN
AND SINGER AND ALL THAT STUFF.
NO, NO, NO.
COME ON.
IS YOU ARE ON BROADWAY DOING TWO GUVNOR.
IT WAS A MATINEE DAY AND SSH CAME TO ME AND I HADN'T BEEN ON
BROADWAY AM I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, DOING TWO SHOWS, YOU NEED
THAT BREAK IN BETWEEN.
BUT THEY ASKED-- .
>> James: I HEARD YOU BROUGHT YOUR SUN, WE HAD THE LOVELIEST
TIME.
>> YOU WERE THE BEST, MAN, THE BEST.
AND JUST LIKE A WONDERMENT THAT HE HAS.
NO, NO, ABOUT PEOPLE.
>> James: WELL, I WAS SO THRILTED TO MEET YOU THEN AND
HONORED THAT ARE YOU HERE ON THE SHOW.
I REALLY, REALLY AM.
AND I KNOW, I KNOW THAT ZACH IT IS A BIG DEAL FOR YOU TO BE ON.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE A FONDNESS FOR ONE OF JIMMY'S TV SHOWS S THIS
CORRECT.
>> YES, I GREW UP WATCHING NYPD BLUE WITH MY PARENTS.
>> James: YEAH.
>> AND IT WAS FORM TIFF IN THAT I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW, THIS
BUT THAT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST SHOWS TO SHOW A HUMAN BUTT ON
NETWORK TELEVISION.
>> YES.
>> AND IT WAS SUCH A PROFOUND THING.
BECAUSE IT WAS DENNIS FRANZ'S BUTT, AND I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
ARE FAMILIAR WITH DENNIS FRANZ.
BUT I FELT THAT IT GAVE ME A DEGREE OF BODY ACCEPTANCE
BECAUSE IN THE '90S YOU WERE JUST BEING PELTED WITH THESE
IMAGES OF JAMES VANDER BEEK AND FREDDIE PRINS, JR. BUT SEEING
HIM WITH HIS DIMPLED.
>> YOU REALLY.
>> YEAH, AND NOW IT IS THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN BE SECRETARIES
ULTLY AROUSED.
>> James: WERE YOU AWARE OF THIS WITH THE NYPD BLUE CAST,
AWARE THAT FAMILIES LIKE ZACH OTHER MEMBERS BACKSIDES.
>> I KNOW IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT FOR US.
BUT WHEN YOU SAW ONE OF THOSE SCENES COMING UP IN THE SCRIPT,
EVERYBODY, WHY ARE YOU IN THE GYM ALL WEEK.
TIGHTEN UP.
>> TIGHTEN UP.
>> REALLY?
>> DENNIS.
>> IT WAS WONDERFUL.
>> DID THIS INSPIRE YOU TO ACT, DO YOU THINK ZACH.
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, NO, BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT, BACK THEN I DIDN'T
WANT TO BE AN ACTOR.
I WANTED TO BE ALSO POLICE RELATED.
I WANTED TO BE A BRITISH POLICEMAN.
>> A BOBBY.
>> I WANTED TO BE A BOBBY.
>> James: WHY?
>> MY FAVORITE MOVIE LIKE ALL YOUNG AMERICAN BOYS WAS A FILM
RENDITION OF THE PIRATES OF PEN ZAN STARRING LINDAR RONSTADT AND
KEVIN KLEIN.
>> THAT IS A HEUSES KAL BY GILBERT AND SULLIVAN WHERE THERE
THESE BRITISH BOBBIES WHO GET INTO ALL KINDS OF MISS CHIEF AND
HIGH JINKINGS AND I THOUGHT THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW
UP.
I WOULD FAST FORWARD TO GET TO THE BOBBIES DOING THEIR THING.
AND I THINK IN RETROSPECT MY PARENTS, I PROBABLY LIKE HAD TO
COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AS STRAIGHT TO MY PARENTS BECAUSE I
FEEL THERE IS A NATURAL PRESUMPTION THAT IF YOU ARE
ENJOYING THE SOPHISTICATION OF GILBERT AND SULLIVAN, THAT
YOU-- .
>> James: OR ORGANIZABLY A LOT OF MUSICAL THEATER.
>> YEAH.
>> James: IF YOU ARE A KID SO INTO MUSICALS YOU HAVE TO SIT
YOUR PARENTS DOWN BETWEEN THE AGE OF 12 AND 18 AND BREAK IT TO
THEM THAT YOU MIGHT BE HETEROSEXUAL, YOU KNOW.
NOW JIMMY, LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR NEW SERIES, EAST NEW YORK,
CONGRATS ON THE SHOW, IT HAS HAD THE HIGHEST RATINGS FOR ANY NEW
NETWORK SHOW THIS SEASON.
YOU MUST BE THRILLED.
FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T CAUGHT IT TELL US WHAT IT IS ABOUT AND WHO
YOU PLAY.
>> IT IS ABOUT A POLICE PRECINCT IN A SECTION OF BROOKLYN, EAST
NEW YORK, SECTION OF BROOKLYN WHERE I AM ACTUALLY FROM.
AND IT IS ABOUT A INSPECTOR WHO IS TASKED TO BECOME THE CHIEF OF
THIS PARTICULARS PRECINCT, THIS VERY TALENTED WOMAN WHO WANTS TO
BRING DIFFERENT TYPE OF POLICING TO THE COMMUNITY.
>> RIGHT.
>> IT MUST BE KIND OF AMAZING TO BE BACK FILMING IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD THAT YOU GREW UP IN, YOU MUST BE NOSTALGIA ON
EVERY CORNER.
>> I AM RUSHED WITH-- THE OTHER DAY WE ARE SHOOTING SCENES AT A
CHURCH PARKING LOT THAT HAPPENED TO BE THE PARKING LOT WHERE MY
SISTER HAD A FIRST COMMUNION AND GOT MARRIED AND I WORKED IN THE
BUILDING NEXT TO IT.
IT IS LIKE PEOPLE COME UP TO ME AND SAY MY MOM SAID TO SAY HI,
SHE WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU.
SO JUST INFORMS THE CHARACTER IN A DIFFERENT KIND OF WAY.
>> IT IS SO GREAT.
IT REALLY.
IS I'M THRILLED YOU HAVE SUCH A HUGE SUCCESS.
LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP FROM EAST NEW YORK WHICH AIRS SUNDAYS AT
9:00 ON CBS AND IS AVAILABLE TO STREAM ON PARAMOUNT PLUS.
>> MEANTIME YOU STILL HAVEN'T--.
>> I KNOW THERE ISN'T OPTIONAL, WERE YOU INVOLVED IN A FATTAL
SHOOTING, REGULATION REQUIRE TO YOU SEE A DEPARTMENT
PSYCHOLOGIST WHO HAS TO SIGN OFF ON YOUR PRICH LIGE OF DUTY.
>> I TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE, I DON'T CARE FOR THAT OFFICERS.
>> YOU ARE KIDDING ME.
>> NO, I'M NOT.
I HAVE GONE BEFORE IN THE PAST, IT IS A WINDOW LESS OFFICE, SOME
GUY STAIRING AT HIS COMPUTER SCREEN THE WHOLE TIME, THAT IS
ROUGH, THAT SIN TENSE.
>> I WILL BE TRUE FOR ALL OF THEM AND THE NEXT OFFICE YOU GO
TO WILL HAVE WINDOWS.
>> James: STICK AROUND!
MORE WITH THESE TWO WHEN WE COME BACK.
HE IS A MORE AGGRESSIVE TACT, BECAUSE I FIND BRITISH PEOPLE
OFTEN RESPOND BETTER TO ABUSE.
>> YOU TELLING ME THAT MY BREATHE SMELLS LIKE A CAT'S BACK
PASSAGE IS NOT GOING TO MAKE ME TELL THEM ANY SOONER.
>> YOU HAVE STARTED.
>> YOU DEPRESSED ANOREXICS SANTA CLAUS THRARKS IS WHAT YOU ARE.
>> SHOW DO YOU SHAVE THAT FACE OF LIES.
>> I USE AN ELECTRIC.
>> YOU ARE A PISSY LITTLE MUMMEES BOY.
>> SO SHE EXPLODED.
>> James: THAT WAS A CLIP FROM "AVENUE 5!"
SEASON TWO PREMIERES MONDAY ON HBO AND HBO MAX.
THE SHOW IS BACK AFTER A TWO YEAR BREAK, IT IS BACK,
CONGRATULATIONS, TELL US WHAT IS HAPPENING THIS TIME AROUND.
>> IT IS ABOUT A SPACE-- THAT GETS KNOCK OFF COURSE AND THEY
ARE STUCK UP THERE FOR EIGHT YEARS AND HAVE TO REINVENT
CIVILIZATION A LITTLE BIT LIKE LORD MUCH THE FLIES BUT
SLIGHTEDLY FUNNIER, HOPEFULLY.
AND IT IS, THAT IS WHAT THE SHOW IS ABOUT.
>> ST THE MOST AMAZING CAST, THE WHOLE CAST OF THE SHOW IS
EXTRAORDINARY.
WHO DO YOU GET ASKED, WHICH MEMBER OF THE CAST DO YOU GET
ASKED MOST ABOUT WHEN ARE YOU WALKING AROUND.
>> HEW LAURIE, PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT HUGH LAURIE AND
PARTICULARLY WOMEN AND PARTICULARLY A CERTAIN
GENERATION OF WOMEN COME UP WITH A KIND OF NEAR FERAL INTENSITY.
I HAD ONE WOMAN GO HI, I'M A BIG FAN OF THE OFFICE.
WHAT IS HUGH LAURIE SMELL LIKE.
AND I WAS LIKE BEG YOUR PARDON, WHAT DOES HE SMELL LIKE.
>> AND I WAS, BECAUSE I MAMG HE SMELLS LIKE A LIBRARY WITH CIGAR
SMOKE IN IT AND I WAS LIKE THAT IS HONESTLY NOT FAR OFF BUT
WEIRD, WEIRD TO HAVE A PET THEORY ABOUT HIS SCENT.
BUT HE IS A KIND OF.
I FEEL LIKE HE IS THE EMBODIMENT OF A DYING BREED OF MASCULINITY
THAT HAS DIED COMPLETELY, YOU KNOW, HE IS A KIND OF RUGGED,
YOU KNOW THOSE EVOLUTIONARY CHARTS WHERE IT IS FIRST THE
MONKEY AND THEN-- I FEEL LIKE THIS IS IN REVERSE MASCULINITY.
JIMMY SUBMITS, THEN ME AND THEN THERE IS A BOX OF WET TISSUES.
>> YOU ARE RIGHT, PEOPLE DO GET LIKE THAT ABOUT HUGH LAURIE.
I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND OF MINE, IN LONDON.
AND WE WERE ON THE PHONE.
AND I WAS TALKING AND HE WENT SORRY, I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT YOU
JUST SAID, HUGH LAURIE JUST ROAD PAST ME ON THE BIKE, OH HE IS
COMING BACK, I WILL TAKE A PHOTO.
AND HE DID HE JUST TOOK A PHOTO OF HUGH LAURIE AND SENT IT TO ME
AND ST WAS JUST HUGH LAURIE ON A BIKE.
HE HAS THAT, IF IS AN UNQUANTITY FIABLE THING.
>> HE DRIVES A MOTS OTHER SIEBLG.
HE PLAYS BEAUTIFUL SONGS ON PIANO.
>> HE IS A MESSY BITACH.
>> JIMMY, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU, A LOT OF ACTORS TALK ABOUT THE
ROLL THAT THEIR PARENTS HAVE PLAYED IN THEIR CAREERS, BUT YOU
REALLY OWE YOUR FATHER A LOT, A GREAT DEAL OF YOUR START IN
ACTING.
WHAT WAS IT, WHAT DID HE DO.
>> BUT THEY DIDN'T, THEY-- THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE
BUT THEY DON'T, I DON'T COME FROM A THEATRE FILM BACKGROUND,
LIKE THAT, BUT WHEN I WAS DOING SHAKES SPEER OR ANY OF THE
CLASSICS THEY WERE SAYING OH, I LOVE WHAT YOU ARE DOING BUT
EVERYBODY TALKS A LITTLE FUNNY IN THOSE PLAYS THAT ARE YOU
DOING AM BUT HE WAS SUPPORTIVE IN THE KIND OF WAY, I HAD GAPS
IN PLIE TEETH AND I WAS TOLD THAT I NEEDED TO GET, YOU KNOW,
THAT FIXED.
AND HE PROPPED UP THE MONEY TO DO THAT FOR ME BECAUSE HE
BELIEVED.
BECAUSE HE-- HE, GO DO IT.
THE.
>> IS HE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL SMILE.
>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL THAT.
>> LOOK AT THAT.
>> NOW BEFORE WE GO TO BREAK, THIS IS KIND OF, I'M TOLD THERE
ARE SOME THINGS, SOME THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO CLEAR UP.
SOME STUFF YOU WANT TO SAY, I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YOU
SAID THIS PUBLICLY.
WHAT IS THE ISSUE, WHAT IS HAPPENING.
>> THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS SPACE.
>> OF COURSE.
>> YOU KNOW, I JUST WANT SPHO SQUASH A BEEF THAT IS STARTING
TO GET OUT OF HAND.
DRAKE AND I, THIS BEEF IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.
AND I JUST THINK IT NEEDS TO STOP.
BECAUSE DRAKE IS OUT THERE LIKE I'M THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON IN
THE WORLD.
I'M MORE FAJ US THAT ZACH WOODS WHO WAS ON ITS GOOD WIFE, LIKE
RECURRING, ON THE GOOD WIFE AND LATE SEASONS OF THE OFFICE.
AND IT IS LIKE, NO ONE KNOWS, LIKE NEITHER ONE OF US ARE
SCIENTISTS, WE DON'T KNOW WHO IS MORE FAMOUS.
AND ALSO, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, LIKE, AND THIS IS THE STHING
THAT START THE BEEF.
YOU GUYS KNOW SO I AM JUST TELLING YOU.
BUT EVERYONE KNEW I WAS CHAMPAGNE POPPY.
>> OARKS.
>> EVERYONE KNEW IT.
AND THEN DRAKE ROLLS IN AND SAYS I'M CHAMPAGNE POPPY, AND IT'S
LIKE, ARE YOU FROM THE CHAMPAGNE REGION OF FRANCE IF NOT, ARE YOU
SPARKLING WINE POPPY, BITCH, MY FRIEND VANESSA POINTED THAT OUT
TO ME.
AND I DON'T WANT TO GET, I DON'T WANT TO SQUASH THE BEEF OR
PERPETUATE THE BEEF BUT I WILL SAY DRAKE IS A MUS-- MUSICIAN,
BUT CAN I PLAY ANY MOVIE THEME ON TRUMPET AND DRAKE CAN'T EVEN
PLAY TRUMPET.
>> James: CORRECT.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> YOU SEE WHAT I AM SAYING.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> SO THAT IS IT.
I JUST NEED TO SQUASH IT BECAUSE I WILL BE THE BIGGER MAN,
SPIRITUALLY, ALSO PHYSICALLY BECAUSE DRAKE SAY MINI.
AND THAT IS BETWEEN HIM AND HIS NUTRITIONIST.
BUT I JUST, IT ENDS HERE TONIGHT, DRAKE.
YOU CAN STOP.
AND I'M SORRY, NOW I AM REALLY GOING ON AND ON BUT I WANT TO
SAYONE LAST THING WHICH IS THAT THE THING THAT HE HAS DONE THAT
REALLY INEXCUSABLE IS IN A BEEF, WHAT YOU DON'T DO IS YOU DON'T
BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.
BUT DRAKE HAS ACTED AS THOUGH HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM, OR
THAT WE'RE IN A BEEF, SWI A LOW BELOW.
SO SHAME ON YOU.
AND THAT IS COMING FROM YOUR CHAMPAGNE POPPY.
>> James: THERE IT IS, IT IS SQUASHED.
REGGIE, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR OUR GUEST THIS EVENING.
>> Reggie: YES, I DO, THIS IS A QUESTION THAT COMES IN ONLINE
ON ONE OF THE FORMS OF COMMUNICATION THAT WE CAN USE
THAT ARE ALL DOING EXACTLY THE SAME THICK.
FIRST OF ALL, BIG FAN OF YOUR CHARACTER, ZACH, MIKE MURRAY.
WHICH SWUFN MY FAVORITE MASCOTS.
MR. SUBMITS, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE GIVEN
US, AND WE WERE ALL THINKING MAYBE PERHAPS IN THE FUTURE YOU
COULD PLAY.
>> OH YEAH.
>> AND HERE IS THE QUESTION.
ABOUT THAT INFORMATION THAT I JUST GAVE OUT TO YOU, THAT
EVERYBODY CAN HEAR, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THAT?
ANG MY FAVORITE PART OF THE QUESTION YOU JUST ASKED.
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: OF EVERYTHING HE JUST SAID WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE
PART OF THAT?
>> I THINK IT WAS PROBABLY THE LAST PART WHEN THE QUESTION
TURNED IN ON IT SIFF.
>> COMPLETELY TURNED, COMPLETELY TURNED.
>> LIKE A SNAKE EATING ITS OWN TAIL, WHICH HAVE I ALWAYS BEEN A
FAN OF IN NATURE.
>> KIND OF HAD THAT SALVADOR DALI.
>> OH.
>> THING, IT TURNED INTO ITSELF.
>> James: THAT IS WHAT WE ARE SAYING, REG S THAT-- .
>> Reggie: WORD FOR WORD THAT IS CORRECT.
>> James: WORD FOR WORD IT IS CORRECT.
LET'S THANK OUR GREAT GUESTS, JIMMY SUBMITS, ZACH WOODS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH GREG STONE.
>> James: WELCOME BACK.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A BRILLIANT STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND HOST OF
THE "FRIDAY NIGHT GREG" PODCAST.
WE'RE HONORED HE'S CHOSEN OUR SHOW TO MAKE HIS LATE-NIGHT
DEBUT.
PLEASE WELCOME THE WONDERFUL, GREG STONE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
HOW ARE WE DOING?
I JUST HAD A BABY, I JUST HAD A BABY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> IT IS KILLING ME.
I'M 22 YEARS OLD.
I GOT MARRIED, I DON'T HAVE A RING ON, I SWALLOWED IT.
THE PREGNANCY, THE PREGNANCY WAS CRAZY.
I WAS ON STAGE PERFORMING WHEN MY WIFE WENT INTO LABOR.
I WAS ON STAGE.
I WALKED OFF.
I HAD 22 MISSED PHONE CALLS FROM MY WIFE.
YEAH.
I CALLED HER.
I WAS LIKE WHAT'S UP?
SHE GOES DON'T FREAK OUT, MY WATER BROKE, JUST GET HOME WHEN
YOU CAN.
SO I FREAKED OUT.
I JUMPED IN A CAB, I WAS LIKE HEY MAN, MY WIFE JUST WENT INTO
LABOR, YOU GOT TO GET ME HOME.
THE CAB DRIVER TURNS AROUND AND GOES, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS
MY WHOLE LIFE.
HE WENT 150 MILES AN HOUR ON THE WILLIAMSBURG BRIDGE, THE WIFE
SON THE PHONE, DON'T WORRY, WE'VE GOT TIME.
HE'S LIKE WE'VE GOT NO TIME.
YEAH!
JUMPED THE HUDSON.
I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING.
WE GET HOME, HE PULLS IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE, SHUT THE METER OFF,
HE GOES GET YOUR WIFE, I'M TAKING BOTH TO THE HOSPITAL.
MY WIFE WAS LIKE WHO IS THAT.
IS WITH LIKE THAT IS MAMI DID.
THAT IS THE NEW GODFATHER.
(APPLAUSE) SOMEONE STEL MY BROTHER HE'S
OUT.
YEAH, I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE RING THING, I WAS WITH MY WIFE
14 YEARS, NEVER CHEATED BUT FLA IS NOT SOMETHING I SHOULD BE
PROUD OF.
ALSO CUZ LIKE NO ONE IS ASKK.
ME BEING PROUD OF NOT CHEATING FEELS VERY SIMILAR, I USED TO
WATCH BASKETBALL WITH MY DAD, HE WAS LIKE I WOULD NEVER PLAY FOR
THE KNICKSES, YEAH, WE'RE NOT IN THE DRAFT.
CRAZY, MAN, THE PREGNANCY WAS WILD.
IT WAS THE HORMONES WENT TO MY WIFE'S BRAIN FOR NINE MONTH, SHE
WAS A PSYCHO.
IT WAS GREAT, I LOVED IT.
BUT LIKE SHE WOULD YELL AT ME AND I AM JUST LIKE I CAN'T YELL
BACK, THERE SAY HOSS TAJ IN THERE.
SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT.
I LOVED IT.
IT WAS FUN, ONE NIGHT, SIX MONTHS, SIX MONTHS INTO THE
PREGNANCY WE'RE LAYING IF BED.
A MOSQUITO BITES HER ON THE NOSE.
SHE WAKES ME UP.
SHE GOES YOU DON'T COME BOOK TO BED TILL YOU'VE KILLED THIS
THING.
NOW I HAVE TO FIENGD A MOSS-- MOSQUITO IN THE MIDDLE OF
THE NIGHT IN THE COMPLETE DARKNESS, QUNTD EVEN PUT THE
LIGHTS OUT, SMELL HIM OUT, SMELLING OUT A MOSS-- MOSQUITO
FOR EIGHT DAYS, WAKES UP, GET T KNOCKING PICTURES OFF THE WALL.
AND I REMEMBER, IT WAS EIGHT DAYS.
BECAUSE ON THE 8th DAY I WAS LAYING IN BED, ON MY PHONE, THE
MOSQUITO LANDS ON MY PHONE, I KILLED IT.
AND I WAS SOCIAL SIGHTED I WOKE MY WIFE UP, LOOK, I GOT HIM.
AND SHE LOOKS AT ME AND GOES, WIPE IT ON THE WALL.
SHOW THEM WHAT HAPPENS.
WHEN THEY COME FOR MY FAMILY.
WHAT?
OKAY, MAMA BEAR, SO THERE I AM, A NORMAL CITIZEN SMEARING
MOSQUITO BLOOD ON THE WALL AS A WARNING TO OTHER MOSQUITOES.
LIKE WE CAN'T BE HERE, LOOK WHAT THEY DID TO JERRY, JUST RUN.
ANYWAY, I DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS.
I NEVER WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS AGAIN, I SO I WAS LIKE DO YOU
WILL A THE RESEARCH I K I FOUND THIS OUT, MOSQUITO LIFE SPAN, IT
IS ONLY TEN DAYS, IT BOTHERED US FOR EIGHT.
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WAIT HIM OUT TWO MORE DAYS.
THEN I REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT T MANS, THAT MOSQUITO BOTHERED MY
WIFE AND I FOR A WEEK AND A DAY BUT FOR THAT MOSQUITO, I WAS
HUNTING HIM HIS WHOLE LIFE.
HE MADE A MISTAKE AS A CHILD AND THEN JUST LIVED HIS LIFE ON THE
RUN.
ALL HE KNEW WAS ME THIS IMMORTAL BEAST TRYING TO MURDER HIM WITH
THIS VENDETTA, WHEN HE LANDED ON THAT PHONE HE WAS LIKE, I'M
TIRED OF RUNNING.
I CAN'T LIP MY LIFELIKE THIS ANY MORE.
AND I LOOKED AT HIM LIKE MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA, YOU BIT MY
WIFE, PREPARE TO DIE.
AND I MURDERED A SENIOR CITIZEN, AND WIPED HIS BLOOD ON THE WALL,
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I'M GREK STONE.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> THAT IS NOTHING T IS NOTHING
STAIRKS LITTLE SOMETHING.
>> LOOK AT THAT.
THE FIRST COMEDIAN ON THE "LATE, LATE SHOW" TO GIVE ME FIVE BUCKS
AFTER HIS SET.
GREG STONE, EVERYBODY.
CHECK OUT HIS BRILLIANT PODCAST, FRIDAY NIGHT GREG.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> THAT WAS SO GOOD.
>> James: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
WE APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH, NEXT WEEK, JAMIE LEE CURTIS IS GOING
TO BE HERE, EDDIE REDMAYNE, MARLON, MUSIC FROM FLORENCE AND
THE MACHINE, WE HOPE YOU WILL JOIN US, REGGIE, TAKE US HOME.