♪ ARE YOU READY, Y'ALL TO HAVE SOME FUN
♪ ON THE SHOW TONIGHT DON'T YOU WORRY, BABY
♪ WHERE YOU COME FROM ♪ IT'S "THE LATE LATE SHOW!"
♪ ABOUT TO COME TO YOU RIGHT FROM BEHIND THAT PURPLE CURTAIN
OVER THERE, MR. JAMES CORDEN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> James: HOW ARE YOU?
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
YOU ARE GORGEOUS.
I APPRECIATE IT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING OUT, EVERYBODY.
THANKS, GUYS.
HELLO, GOOD EVENING.
WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
WE APPRECIATE YOU ALL BEING HERE.
LET'S SEE WHO THE GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT!
HE'S A TALENTED ACTOR, WRITER, AND FORMER WHITE HOUSE STAFF
MEMBER YOU KNOW FROM THE "HAROLD AND KUMAR" MOVIES, "SMILE" AND
"AMERICAN HORROR STORY," THE MIGHTY KAL PENN!
IS HERE TONIGHT.
THERE HE IS.
>> HEY MAN.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU, KAL.
>> GOOD, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> James: I'M VERY WELL.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS IMPECCABLY DRESSED.
>> THANK YOU, WELL, THANK YOU.
>> James: NO, I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU NOT AT AN A PLUS LEVEL.
>> PLEASE TELL MY MOTHER THIS.
>> James: IS SHE WATCHING?
>> YES, OH YES, OF COURSE.
>> James: REALLY?
>> SEE MOM, I PULLED IT TOGETHER.
I CLEANED UP WELL.
>> James: HE CLEANED UP WELL, MUM, IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU THAT
HE HAS SUCH SARTORIAL TASTE.
WE LOVE YOU, KAL PENN, EVERYBODY.
>> THANK YOU.
AND SHE IS A TALENTED ACTOR YOU KNOW
FROM EIGHT SEASONS ON "BROOKLYN 99."
HER NEW MOVIE "BAR FIGHT" IS AVAILABLE IN SELECT THEATERS AND
ON AMC PLUS NOVEMBER 11th, THE GLORIOUS, MELISSA FUMERO!
IS HERE TONIGHT, HEY MELISSA, HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GREAT, HOW ARE YOU.
>> James: I'M VERY, VERY WELL, SO NICE TO SEE YOU.
IS EVERYTHING GOOD?
>> EVERYTHING IS GREAT, SO GOOD.
>> James: BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE.
MELISSA FUMERO, EVERYBODY.
AND THIS IS EXCITING, HE'S A BRILLIANT STAND UP
COMEDIAN WHO PERFORMS AT CLUBS AND COLLEGES ALL OVER THE
COUNTRY.
WHAT AN HONOR TO INVITE THE HILL ARIOUS TREY WAKEMAN TO THE SHOW
TONIGHT.
TREY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> OH, NOTHINGK I'M NOT TAKING THIS.
I BROUGHT THIS WITH ME.
I WAS HANGING IT UP.
>> James: REALLY?
IT FEELS LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN CAUGHT STEALING IT.
>> NO, I-- IT'S KIND OF COOL THAT YOU GUYS HAPPEN TO HAVE TWO
THAT MATCH THE ONE I BROUGHT.
I THINK WE'VE JUST GOT SIMILAR TASTES IS WHAT IT MEANS.
>> James: YOU THINK?
>> YEAH.
>> James: TREY?
>> YES.
>> James: PUT IT BACK.
(LAUGHTER) (LAUGHTER).
>> James: TREY WAKEMAN, EVERYBODY.
ARE YOU READY?
THEN LET'S.
I'M JAMES CORDEN, THIS, THIS IS THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
ROLL I'M JAMES CORDEN, AND THIS?
THIS IS "THE LATE LATE SHOW!" ROLL THE TITLES!
COME ON!
Captioning sponsored by CBS
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO!
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH!
♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪ >> James: IT CERTAINLY IS!
THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
I LOVE KAL PENN.
>> OH YEAH.
>> James: ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVES.
>> ALWAYS A CLASSIC.
>> James: YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> James: JUST AN ADORABLE MAN.
>> GREAT NAME TOO.
>> James: KAL PENN.
>> KAL PENN.
>> James: YOU ARE RIGHT, LIKE IN STREET FIGHTS KAL PENN.
>> YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH KAL PENN.
>> James: YOU ARE RIGHT.
>> IF HE IS PRESIDENT, KAL PENN, MY WEED DEALER, KAL PENN.
>> James: YEAH, ARE YOU SCHEUTLY RIGHT.
>> ANYTHING.
>> James: YEAH, YOU KNOW THE NEW SHOW, THE SANTA CLAUSES,
SANTA-- IS THERE ANY OTHER HOLIDAY CHARACTERS THAT DESERVE
THEIR OWN SHOW?
>> I WOULD LIKE TO SEE LIKE JUST A VERY SERIOUS KIND OF EMMY
WINNING SHOW ABOUT THE EASTER BUNNY.
WHERE HE LIKE FINDS OUT HE'S JEWISH.
LIKE GOING THROUGH DOCUMENTS AND IT'S LIKE BUNOOWITZ, OH MY GOD.
>> James: BUNOOWITZ.
>> JUST SORT OF LIKE SQUARING HIS LIFE AND HIS ROLE WITH
EASTER WITH THE FACT HE HAS THIS JEWISH HERITAGE.
YOU KNOW LIKE YOU GET SOMEONE LIKE JEFF DANIELS PLAYS THE
EASTER BUNNY.
>> James: BUT IT IS REALLY, REALLY SERIOUS.
>> IT IS SUPER SERIOUS.
>> James: HE DOESN'T GET A LOT OF LOVE, THE EASTER BUNNY.
>> NOT ENOUGH.
>> James: IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S NOT FRONT AND CENTER.
>> NO.
SANTA CLAUS GETS A TON OF PRESS.
>> James: HE REALLY DOES.
>> HE'S GOT A BETTER PUBLICIST THAN THE EASTER BUNNY IS WHAT IT
BOILS DOWN TO.
>> James: IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.
>> YEAH.
>> James: ALSO THE COCA COLA TIE IN, A BRAND AMBASSADOR.
SORRY, HAVE I TO STOP, HAVE I TO STOP.
I THINK I JUST NOTICED, THIS IS SHOW-- WHAT IS THIS 1,127.
THIS IS SHOW 1,127.
I SWEAR TO GOD I JUST SPOTTED THE COOLEST AUDIENCE MEMBER HAVE
I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, THIS GUY RIGHT THERE.
LOOK AT THIS, LOO AT THIS-- SCOTTY, SCOTTY, OVER
HERE.
THIS GUY HERE.
LOOK AT THIS GUY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) DUDE, DUDE, NONE OF THIS SHOULD
WORK.
AND YET, AND YET ON YOUR FRAME, I CAN'T IMAGINES ANYTHING ELSE
HAPPENING.
>> COME ON.
>> James: COME ON, EXACTLY.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> James: WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SIR.
>> KEVIN, KEVIN.
>> James: YOU ARE THE LEAST LOOKING KEVIN I HAVE EVER SEEN
IN MY LIFE.
>> THANK YOU, THAT'S MY GOAL IN LIFE, TO BE HONEST.
EVIN GETS A BAD NAME, BAD RAP.
>> James: A BAD RAP, ARE YOU LIKE I'M GOING TO RAISE THE BAR
FOR KEVIN.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT HIS NAME SHOULD BE.
>> James: KL PENN.
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
>> James: CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION.
>> PLEASE.
>> James: WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE.
>> A LEXUS FROM MY GRAND MARKS SHE GAVE IT TO ME.
>> James: I'M GLAD YOU ADDED THAT LAST BIT.
>> SHE WILL BE WATCHING THIS SO I HAVE TO.
>> James: WHAT IS HER NAME.
>> ELLEN BUT I CALL HER MA, SO SHE IS MA.
>> James: ELLEN, CONGRATS.
THIS GUY IS THE COOLEST, COOLEST AUDIENCE MEMBER WE HAVE EVER
HAD.
I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU AN APPROPRIATE NOISE.
IT'S THAT TIME, IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS.
OH, STOP, COME ON.
♪ GO ON, STEVE.
♪ YES.
YEAH, YEAH.
COME ON.
>> FOR THE NEWS.
>> James: OH MY GOD, I PUTTED OUT EYE A KING STAR.
YOU KNOW THE ONLY PERSON THAT KEYTAR WOULD LOOK BETTER ON,
KEVIN, RIGHT THERE.
HERE ST, HERE IS THE NEWS.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
KEVIN'S LIKE, THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
HERE IS THE NEWS.
ELECTION DAY IS FAST APPROACHING, AND PRESIDENT BIDEN
HAS BEEN CRISS-CROSSING THE COUNTRY MAKING FINAL PUSHES FOR
DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATES.
TOMORROW, HE WILL BE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.
YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, THE ALL-IMPORTANT SWING STATE OF
CALIFORNIA.
BIDEN'S STOP IN CALIFORNIA FOLLOWS VISITS TO NEW MEXICO AND
FLORIDA.
WHICH MAKES ME WONDER IF HE'S ACTUALLY CAMPAIGNING OR JUST
FOLLOWING JIMMY BUFFET ON TOUR.
AND THEN ON SATURDAY, BIDEN WILL JOIN BARACK OBAMA IN
PHILADELPHIA, WHERE THEY WILL HOLD A RALLY TOGETHER.
MY ADVICE- LET OBAMA DO THE TALKING.
SERIOUSLY, THIS IS THE POLITICAL EQUIVALENT OF BRUCE
SPRINGSTEEN OPENING FOR SMASH MOUTH.
I FEEL LIKE THIS HAS BEEN A MISTAKE, I FEEL LIKE WE HAVE
BEEN OVER THIS, NEVER, BRING A WINGMAN
WHO'S HOTTER THAN YOU.
SURE IT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA, BUT IT'S GONNA BACKFIRE EVERY
TIME.
>> James: AND A CHAMPAGNE COMPANY HAS NOW DESIGNED A NEW
KIND OF BOTTLE FOR SPARKLING WINE, MEANT TO BE CONSUMED IN
SPACE.
THIS IS REAL, THE FUTURISTIC BOTTLE DISPENSES CHAMPAGNE AS
FOAM, WHICH ASTRONAUTS CAN GULP DOWN AS THEY FLOAT IN
ZERO-GRAVITY.
HERE IT IS IN ACTION.
BRILLIANT.
THANK GOD THEY SOLVE THE WHOLE CHAMPAGNE IN SPACE PROBLEM--
THIS WAS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT.
THE FUTURISTIC CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE CAN POUR CHAMPAGNE IN SPACE AS A
FOAM.
BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW EVERYONE'S FAVORITE PART OF CHAMPAGNE, THE
FOAM.
IT'S A PRETTY AMAZING BREAKTHROUGH.
THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN AND A
12-STEP PROGRAM FOR MANKIND.
AND A NEW RESTAURANT HAS OPENED IN SAN FRANCISCO WHICH IS
EXCLUSIVELY FOR DOGS.
FOR $75, THE DOGS GET A MULTIPLE-COURSE MEAL FEATURING
DISHES LIKE CHICKEN SKIN WAFFLES AND STEAK TARTARE WITH QUAIL
EGG.
SO, YEAH, CALIFORNIA IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS.
A RESTAURANT FOR DOGS.
IT'S ALWAYS A LITTLE WEIRD WHEN THE DOG ORDERS, LIKE, DO YOU
HAVE ANYTHING THAT TASTES LIKE MY OWN BALLS?
>> IT'S CRAZY CUZ ITS DOG CAN TALK.
, YOU BURIED THE LEAD THERE.
BALLS THING IS REALLY SECONDARY TO THIS TALKING DOG.
>> James: ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
IT IS A TALKING DOG SITTING IN A RESTAURANT, ORDERING DINNER.
>> HE CAN READ TOO?
>> PICTURES.
>> James: YOU'RE BEING INSANE.
THE MENU ALSO INCLUDES A MIMOSA AND A BAKED TREAT FOR THE HUMAN.
ACCOMPANYING THE DOG, AS WELL AS A MIRROR, SO YOU CAN
LOOK AT YOURSELF AND REFLECT ON WHAT YOU'VE BECOME.
AND DO YOU REMEMBER BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO STORES?
YOU REMEMBER BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO.
YOU WILL LOVE THIS.
WELL, LATER THIS MONTH, BLOCKBUSTER WILL BE RETURNING TO
LOS ANGELES, NOT AS A VIDEO STORE, BUT AS A SPEAKEASY-STYLE
POP-UP BAR.
VISITORS WILL GET A BLOCKBUSTER MEMBERSHIP CARD THAT SERVES AS A
DRINK TICKET, AND CAN CHOOSE FROM THEMED BEVERAGES INSPIRED
BY MOVIES FROM THE '90s AND EARLY 2000s.
IT'S PRETTY AUTHENTIC.
YOU SPEND 45 MINUTES DECIDING WHICH DRINK TO GET, ONLY TO
LEARN THAT THEY'RE COMPLETELY OUT, BUT MIGHT GET ONE BACK
IN STOCK TOMORROW.
SO COME EARLY.
A BLOCKBUSTER SPEAKEASY.
I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF SOMEBODY OPENED A
NETFLIX BAR ACROSS THE STREET AND WAS LIKE $14, ALL YOU CAN
DRINK.
A LOT OFOUR AUDIENCE PROBABLY HAS NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS.
BLOCKBUSTER IS LIKE A STREAMING SERVICE BUT WITH V.H.S. TAPES.
A V.H.S. TAPE IS LIKE A DVD BUT SOMETHING YOU NEED TO PHYSICALLY
REWIND LIKE A CASSETTE TAPE.
A CASSETTE TAPE IS-- YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST FORGET IT.
AND FINALLY DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?
WILLIAMS SONOMA HAS COME OUT WITH A BREAKABLE CHOCOLATE
TURKEY FILLED WITH TREATS.
IT'S PAINTED TO RESEMBLE A REAL TURKEY BUT IS ACTUALLY
FILLED WITH PUMPKIN MACARONS AND CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES.
HERE IT IS HERE.
LOOK AT THAT.
THAT WOULD BE A GREAT PRANK TO PULL AT A HOLIDAY DINNER.
BRING OUT THE ROASTED BIRD, AND WHEN EVERYONE'S OOH-ING AND
AHHH-ING, TAKE OUT A MALLET AND JUST SMASH IT TO BITS.
THE CHOCOLATE TURKEY COSTS $250 AND EVERYONE IN OUR
AUDIENCE IS GOING HOME WITH ONE!
YEAH.
, IF YOU WANT TO.
IF YOU WANT TO.
THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WILLIAMS SONOMA NEXT
DOOR AT THE GROVE, SO YOU ALL CAN GO BUY ONE AFTER THE SHOW IF
, IT'S COMPLETELY UP TO YOU.
AND THAT'S THE NEWS!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KAL PENN AND MELISSA FUMERO.
>> James: WELCOME BACK.
NOW DOING A SHOW LIKE THIS EVERY NIGHT WE READ A LOT OF
HEADLINES, THE HEADLINES DON'T ALWAYS TELL YOU WHAT THE FULL
STORY IS SO WE THOUGHT WE WOULD HELP CLEAR THINGS UP WITH THIS
DISEGMENT, THIS IS HONEST HEADLINES.
THIS F COMES FROM TODAY READS ARTIST CHARGES $6,000 FOR A
PICKLE, STUCK TO CEILING.
THAT IS THE HEADLINE, THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE READ
RIDICULOUS PRICE TAG, NOT KOSHER, TERRIBLE DEAL.
HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM SKY NEWS, AND IT READS:THOUSANDS OF MEN
NEED BREAST EDUCTIONS DUE TO STEROID USE.
THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ:THOUSANDS OF MEN'S EYES
ARE UP HERE.
HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM CNN, AND IT READS:“DOMINO'S FORCED TO
CLOSE ALL RESTAURANTS IN ITALY.”
THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ:“ITALIANS HATE PIZZA,
APPARENTLY.” BOLD MOVE IF YOU ARE DOMINOES TO
BE LIKE, I IMAGINE THE ITALIANS WILL DIG THIS.
CAN YOU IMAGINE, LIKE WHY WOULD YOU DO IT?
I FEEL LIKE IT'S AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FOOD ALL TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, LIKE I THINK IF YOU TOOK SOMEONE FROM
MEXICO AND BROUGHT THEM TO TACO BELL, THEY WOULDN'T BE LIKE OH
YES, THE FOOD OF MY HOMELAND.
>> James: YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT.
>> YEAH.
>> James: I FEEL LIKE, YEAH, THAT IS A BOLD MOVE ON DOMINOES.
>> STAY WHOLE DIFFERENT THING STVMENT BAD AMERICAN PIZZA AND
MAYBE THEY JUST LIKE ALL DRESS UP LIKE AMERICANS AND ORDER
DOMINOES AND LAUGH ABOUT HOW BAD OUR TASTE IS.
>> James: I THINK THEY DO THAT ANYWAY.
HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM FOX NEWS, AND IT READS: “SUSPECTED CAR
THIEF FOUND HIDING INSIDE GIANT TEDDY BEAR.”
THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “GRAND THEFT AWWWWWWWW-
TO.” HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM "THE
GUARDIAN," AND IT READS: “CAT MISSING FOR FIVE YEARS FOUND ON
SCOTTISH OIL RIG.” THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “WEE BONNIE KITTY FOUND
ABERD A SEACRAFT FULL O' CRUDE”" ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: THAT WASN'T GOOD.
THAT WASN'T, CAN I ONLY SAY LIKE TWO THINGS IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT.
>> WHAT ARE THEY THEY.
>> James: GETS AND [BLEEP] YOUR-- CAN I SAY THAT AND CAN I
SAY OH, DON'T DO, THAT I DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT.
OUTSIDE OF THAT, I'M SORT OF DONE STRKS BECAUSE I USED TO
HAVE A BOSS WHO WORKED AND USED TO WORK IN THIS MINI SUPERMARKET
AND HE WOULD GO HEY, JIM, YOU CAN WORK FRIDAY, SEE, I CAN'T DO
ANYTHING ELSE.
CAN YOU WORK THURSDAY.
AND I WOULD GO YEAH, AND THEN I GO OH, NO I CAN'T, I'VE GOT MY
DRAMA AND HE WOULD GO [BLEEP] THAT, DON'T EVEN LIKE THAT.
AND I G LOOK I'M SORRY, I FORGOT.
>> HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM FOX NEWS:
AND IT READS: “PORTLAND FOURTH
BEST PLACE FOR SURVIVING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE.”
THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “ZOMBIES PREFER FARM-TO-
TABLE BRAINS.” HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM DAILY
STAR, AND IT READS:“ FIREFIGHTERS CALLED TO WOMAN'S
HOUSE DUE TO OVERHEATED VIBRATOR.”
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “FIRE IN THE HOLE!”
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM THE "NEW YORK POST," AND IT READS:“
NEW WEBSITE HELPS PEOPLE FIND A PET USING PERSONALITY QUIZ.”
THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “GUY WITHOUT PERSONALITY
GETS MATCHED WITH A SNAKE.” HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM CNN
AND IT READS: “TACO BELL'S NEWEST MENU ITEM USES AN
OVERSIZED CHEEZ-IT.” THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “TACO BELL NOT EVEN
ANYMORE.”G TO BE MEXICAN FOOD- HERE'S ANOTHER HEADLINE FROM
CNN, AND IT READS: “JAPAN WANTS YOUNG PEOPLE TO DRINK MORE
BOOZE.” THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “LATE LATE SHOW RENEWS,
RELOCATES TO JAPAN.” HERE'S A HEADLINE FROM THE "L.A.
TIMES, AND IT READS: “CHURCH SUES POLICE OVER STEALING
PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS.” THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “FORGIVE ME FATHER,
FOR I HAVE WHOOOOOAAAAAA.” AND FINALLY, HERE'S A HEADLINE
FROM LIVESCIENCE, AND IT READS“" SPECIES OF SHARK FILMED
WALKING ON LAND.” THAT'S THE HEADLINE.
THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD'VE READ: “OH ( BLEEP ).”
THAT WAS “HONEST HEADLINES.” WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
MORE OF THE "LATE, LATE SHOW," EVERYBODY.
>> James: WELCOME BACK.
SHE STARS IN "BLOCKBUSTER," MELISSA FUMERO!
HOW ARE YOU, I LOVE THIS DRESS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: HE STARS IN "THE SANTA CLAUSES,"
KAL PENN!
THAI FOR BEING HERE, BLESS YOU FOR COMING TO SEE US, WONDERFUL,
NOW WE HAVE TWO FAMOUS JERSEYANS ON THE COUCH.
MELISSA, WHEREABOUTS ARE YOU FROM IN JERSEY AND WHAT IS IT
LIKE THERE.
>> I'M FROM LYNN HEARST, NEW JERSEY, WHICH IS REAL CLOSE TO
THE CITY, RIGHT BY GIANTS STADIUM.
AND IT IS A COMIETER TOWN, MOST OF THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE THERE
WORK IN NEW YORK.
AND SO YOU KNOW, YOU CAN, I COULD GET THE BUS DOWN THE BLOCK
TO GO TO THE CITY, WHICH I DID.
>> James: IS IT NICE?
OR WHERE DOES IT FALL ON THE GRIM SCALE.
>> YOU ARE PUTTING ME IN A PRECARIOUS POSITION HERE.
IT'S NICE.
>> James: NO, IT IS NICE BUT WOULD YOU CONSIDER IT, BECAUSE I
KNOW THERE ARE MARTS OF JERSEY THAT ARE VERY, VERY BOUGIE AND
THERE ARE OTHER PARTS.
>> IT ST NOT BOUGIE IT IS NOT BOUGIE STRKS VERY LIKE MIDDLE
CLASS, URBAN SUBURBIA.
>> James: GOT IT WHAT BUT, KAL WHAT IS YOUR HOMETOWN.
>> I GREW UP IN FREEHOLE JERSEY WHICH IS KNOWN MOSTLY FOR BRUCE
SPRINGSTEEN BUT WE WERE TALKING BACKSTAGE, YOU MEET ANYBODY FROM
NEW JERSEY ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD AND IT IS LIKE ANNETTE NISSITY.
>> YES.
>> LIKE IT TRANSENDS ALL OTHER THINGS, SO OUR FACES LIT UP, YOU
ARE FROM JERSEY, THERE IS A WHOLE-- .
>> >> James: BUT WHERE IS FREE DS
HOLD ON THE BOWJEAU SCALE.
>> IT IS ALSO SORT OF IN THE MIDDLE STRKS A MIDDLE BOUGIE,
EVERYONE'S PARENT WAS TAKE THE BUS OR TRAIN TO WORK IN
MANHATTAN EVERY DAY, THAT KIND OF THING.
>> SAME.
>> James: SO MELISSA, NOW YOU LIVE HERE ON THE WEST COAST, AND
YOUR 15th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY IS COMING UP IN
DECEMBER.
AND YOUR HUSBAND IS ALSO AN ACTOR.
SO YOU ARE YOU ARE BOTH ACTORS, WHEN YOU MET WERE YOU AWARE OF
HIS WORK BEFORE YOU STARTED DATING SO I WAS AND I WASN'T.
WHEN I WAS 13, MARIAH CAREY HAD THIS MUSIC VIDEO HONE, VERY
FAMOUS.
>> James: VERY FAMOUS.
>> AND THERE WAS A HOT GUY THAT FROLICKED WITH HER ON THE BEACH
AT THE END OF THE INDIVIDUAL YOVMENT AND I WAS OBSESSED WITH
THAT HOT GUY AT THE END OF THE INDIVIDUAL YOVMENT I WAS 13.
HE WAS TEN YEARS OLDER THAN ME, TENNISH YEARS LATER, I START
DATING THIS GUY, AND HE CASUALLY ONE TIME FRIED TO IMPRESS ME WAS
LIKE OH, I WAS ON THIS GIG IN PUERTO RICO ONCE, IT WAS
ACTUALLY MARIAH CAREY INDIVIDUAL YOVMENT AND I WAS LIKE, WERE YOU
THE GUY AT THE END OF THE INDIVIDUAL YORKS THE HONEY
INDIVIDUAL YORKS MARIAH CAREY.
HIS EYES GOT ALL BIG BECAUSE THEN I LOOKED LIKE A PSYCH.
HE IS LIKE YES.
AND I JUST WENT TO THE BATHROOM IN MY APARTMENT AND HAD LIKE A
SILENT FREAKOUT.
AND THEN I MARRIED HIM.
>> James: YOU KNEW IN THAT MOMENTS, OKAY I HAVE TO MARRY
THIS GUY.
>> YEAH, YEAH, I THINK THAT WAS THE, YEAH.
>> James: WOW.
>> WHATEVER THOUGHTS MAYBE STRKS FINE.
>> THE 13 YEAR OLD YOU COMES INTO IT.
>> IT'S DONE IT'S DONE, YEAH.
>> James: WOW.
>> YEAH.
>> James: THAT'S AMAZING.
>> I KNOW.
>> James: HE REALLY DOES FROLIC IN THAT VIDEO.
>> HE FROLICS, HE PICKS HER UP.
OH.
>> James: WE ARE TALKING FROLICKING AND DANCES, YOU
RECENTLY ATTENDED A HARRY STYLES CONCERT IN NEW YORK.
>> OH YEAH, YEAH.
>> James: IN NEW YORK.
WHAT WAS YOUR HIGHLIGHT OF THAT?
>> LET ME TELL YOU, I KNOW HE SAY FRIEND OF THE SHOW.
THE HIGHLIGHT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT GOING THERE.
I GET THERE, I START KIND OF DANCING IN THE SEAT.
AND THEN I NOTICE THERE IS A WOMAN DRESSED AS A STRAWBERRY IN
THE ROW IN FRONT OF ME.
AND A GAP BETWEEN US, SO AFTER FOUR VODKAS, I TOOK IT UPON
MYSELF TO DANCE WITH HER FOR THE REST OF THE CONCERT, BLAST.
>> James: YEAH, I THINK IF YOU EVER SEE SOMEONE DANCING AS A
STRAWBERRY IT SHOULD BE YOUR DUTY TO GO DANCE WITH THE
STRAWBERRY.
>> 100 PERCENT.
>> James: YOU HAVE TWO YOUNG BOYS AN I HEAR, WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT THIS, I HEAR THAT BILL HADER GAVE YOU SOME ADVICE ON
PREPARING OR DECIDING TO BECOME A MOTHER.
IS THAT RIGHT?
WHAT WAS THE ADVICE THAT HE GAVE SNU.
>> YEAH, I WAS, HE WAS GUEST STAR ON BROOKLYN 99.
AND I WAS VERY NEWLY PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST.
AND IT WAS A BIT OF A SURPRISE PREGNANCY, IF YOU WILL.
SO I WAS STILL IN THAT SPACE OF, OH MY GOD.
FREAKING OUT.
AND HE JUST TURNED TO ME AND HE SAID-- HE WENT ON, OH, YOU
SHOULD DO T IT'S SO FUN.
IT'S THE BEST ADVENTURE-OF-YOUR LIFE.
AND JUST STARTED SAYING ALL OF THESE BEAUTIFUL THINGS ABOUT HIS
CHILDREN, AND BEING A PARENT.
AND I FELT LIKE EVERY WORRY WASHED, IT WAS INCREDIBLE.
AND I WENT HOME AND TOLD MY HUSBAND, LIKE WE'RE GOING TO BE
FINE, BILL HADER SAID WE'RE GOING TO BE FINE.
>> James: THAT'S AMAZING.
>> AND I BELIEVED HIM.
AND HE HAD NOD NO IDEA, IT WAS SO WEIRD, THE TIMING WAS SO
WEIRD, I LITERALLY FOUND OUTLINING DAYS BEFORE THIS
HAPPENED.
YEAH.
>> James: AND BILL HADER ALSO WAS VERY NEARLY IN THE HONEY
VIDEO WITH MARIAH CAREY.
NOW KAL, WE'VE GOT TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR
BRILLIANT NEW SERIES THE SANTA CLAUSES.
TELL EVERYONE WHAT IT IS ABOUT AND WHO YOU PLAY.
>> YEAH, IT IS AN EXTENSION OF THE TIM ALLEN MOVIES FROM WHEN
WE WERE KIDS.
AND I PLAY SANTA'S NEMESIS.
SO I GOT TO GO TO WORK AT THE NORTH POLE EVERY DAY, THE ENTIRE
SPRING AND IT SAY SIX PART SERIES FOR DISNEY PLUS.
I WILL SAY ONE THING ABOUT THIS, HE WHICH IS WHEN YOU ARE WORKING
WITH ELVES, IN OUR CASE THE ELVES WERE CHILDREN BUT THE
SCRIPT THAT YOU GET SAYS YOU ARE DOING A SCENE WITH THESE 1800
YEAR OLD ELVES SO THE ACTOR BRAIN IS LIKE 1800 YEAR OLD
ELVES AND YOU YOU SHOW UP TO WORK AND ST JUST YOU AND 9 AIRT
YEAR OLDS WHO WERE WONDERFUL WHEN THE CAMERA SON.
BUT WHEN THAT CAMERA SUAVE AND THE BIG DOORS OPEN AND IT IS LOS
ANGELES 87 DEGREES AND THEY HAVE THEIR CREEPY EARS AND SAYING
THINGS THAT CHILD ACTORS SAY, LIKE DO YOU DRINK MATCHA I DON'T
DRINK COFFEE, I DRINK MATCHA.
NO, NO, NO.
I WILL SEE YOU BACK INSIDE WHEN ARE YOU ELVES.
>> James: CORRECT.
WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WAS CHRISTMAS A BIG DEAL FOR YOU
GROWING UP.
I THINK WE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE, YOU LOVE IT.
>> I LOVED CHRISTMAS.
I GREW UP IN A TOWN THAT WAS PREDOMINANTLY JEWISH, FROM A
SECULAR HINDU FAMILY AND EVERYBODY LOVES CHRISTMAS IT IS
JUST LIKE, THE WAY GRANDPARENTS AND PARENTS RAISED US, WHETHER A
FAITH-BASED TRADITION OR CULTURAL TRADITION, JUST
CELEBRATE IT IS ALL LOVE AND ST WARMTH AND LIGHT AND SO I WAS
REALLY EXCITED.
ALSO JUST TO DO THIS SHOW THAT MY NEPHEWS CAN ACTUALLY WATCH.
>> James: I LOVE THAT.
LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP FROM THE STANTA-- SANTA CLAUSES PREMIERS
NOVEMBER 16th ON DISNEY PLUS.
>> SOME KIDS AT SCHOOL THINK SANTA IS OVER, THEY SAY IS HE
A-- ONLY DELIVERS ONCE A YEAR.
>> OLDER GUYS WILL ALWAYS SAY SANTA IS NOT REAL.
>> I DIDN'T SAY HE IS NOT REAL.
I SAID HE WAS OVER.
WAIT, IS HE NOT REAL?
>> OH GOD, YOUR MOTHER WAS SO MUCH BETTER AT THIS STUFF.
I THINK IT IS SAFE IT GO BACK OUT.
>> WHOA.
GRACE, DID YOU THIS ALL BY YOURSELF?
>> James: STICK AROUND, MORE WITH THESE TWO WHEN WE COME
BACK.
>> GLASS, CLEVER GIRL.
>> JURASSIC PARK, YOU GOT IT DON'T TELL ME, GREATEST SHOWMAN.
>> I'M CLEARLY MURPHY BROWN, ANYWAY, LET ME GO SMEAR BUTTER
ON MY HAND AND TAKE ANOTHER STAB AT TRYING TO GET THIS OFF.
JENNIFER COOLIDGE IS BETTER THAN THIS.
WHY IS IT STILL WARM?
>> WHY IS IT STILL WARM?
>> THAT DOES IT, THIS IS MY HOUSE AND I WILL DEFEND IT.
"BLOCKBUSTER," WHICH PREMIERES GLOBALLY TODAY ONLY ON NETFLIX.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SHOW.
FOR ANYONE THAT DOESN'T KNOW, TELL US WHAT IT IS ABOUT AND WHO
YOU PLAY.
>> THANK YOU.
YEAH, SO IT IS A WORKPLACE COMEDY SET IN THE LAST
BLOCKBUSTER ON EARTH.
AND RANDALL PARKS PLAYS TIMMY WHO IS THE MANAGER.
AND ST REALLY ALSO ABOUT WHAT IT TAKES TO KEEP A SMALL BUSINESS
ALIVE, THESE DAYS.
AND HOW WE CAN ALL HAVE THESE DISFUNCTIONAL WORK FAMILIES.
>> AND I PLAY EL EIZA WHO IS SORT OF AT A CROSSROADS IN HER
LIFE, A LITTLE LOST AND DOES NT WANT TO BE WORKING AT THE
BLOCKBUSTER AND HAS KNOWN TIMMY FOR A LONG.
AND MAYBE THERE SAY SPARK.
AND HILARIOUS, HEARTWARMING.
ALL THE THINGS.
>> I MEAN WE'RE ALL AROUND THE RIGHT AGE TO HAVE GONE TO
BLOCKBUSTER ON A FRIDAY EVENING.
WHAT DO YOU MOST REMEMBER ABOUT THOSE TIMES?
>> GOD, YOU KNOW, I JUST REMEMBER, LIKE IT WAS, YEAH, YOU
GO ON FRIDAY NIGHT, PICK OUT YOUR MOVIES FOR THE WEEKEND.
I WOULD FIGHT WITH MY BROTHER ABOUT WHICH MOVIES WE WERE GOING
TO RENT BECAUSE WE WOULD HAVE TO WATCH EACH OTHER'S CHOICES.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I AM SAD FOR THE YOUTH.
BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER KNOW THE THRILL OF GOING INTO A
BLOCKBUSTER AND RUNNING UP TO THE NEW RELEASES AND THE MOVIE
YOU HAVE BEEN DIEING TO WATCH, ALL OUT BUT YOU GO UP TO THE
COUNTER AND YOU ASK THEM TO CHECK THE RETURN BOX.
AND IT IS THERE.
AND THE THRILL OF LIKE AHH, IT'S HERE!
KNOCK LIKE THAT.
>> James: MY ABIDING MEMORY OF BLOCKBUSTER IS GOING.
WE HAD A DAY AT MY SCHOOL WHERE THERE WAS A LIKE A BURST PIPE SO
SCHOOL WAS CALLED OFF THAT DAY RIGHT SO WE COULDN'T GO TO THE
SCHOOL.
AND I WAS PROBABLY ABOUT 15 AT THE TIME.
AND DO YOU REMEMBER THERE USED TO BE AN ADULT SECTION IN
BLOCKBUSTER AND THE MOVIES WERE CALLED SOMETHING LIKE SCARLETT
LETTER OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT SO I PUT ON A SUITS, RIGHT.
I GOT A BRIEFCASE, A BRIEFCASE AND I HAD A TOY FLIP MOBILE
PHONE, RIGHT, A TOY ONE.
>> NO.
>> James: AND I WALKED DOWN TO BLOCKBUSTER AND I WENT IN LIKE
THIS, YEAH, JAKE, LET ME CALL YOU BACK, PICKED IT UP, USED MY
DAD'S BLOCKBUSTER CARD AND THEY RENTED IT TO ME, RIGHT.
TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE FILM.
I DO NOT RECOMMEND ITS BUT THEN I HAD TO LIKE HIDE IT CUZ MY
PARENTS WERE COMING BACK FROM WORK.
AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT.
ABOUT TWO MONTHS LATER OUR HOME PHONE RINGS AND THE GUY FROM
BLOCKBUSTER GOES, YOU RENTED SCARLETT LACE AND YOUR BILL IS
NOW $209 POUNDS.
AND MY DAD IS LIKE, JAIMTION!
SO AM SO SORRY.
>> MY DAD GOES DOWN AND GOES LISTEN, THAT IS MY SON.
HE IS 15.
YOU RENTED HIM THIS FILM.
LET'S SAY WE CANCEL THIS BILL AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS
ANY FURTHER.
>> ABSOLUTELY FINE, AND HE GOT OUT OF PAYS.
>> NOW KAL, NOW KAL, I REALLY WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS,
VERY INTERESTING.
SO I DON'T KNOW HOW COMFORTABLE YOU ARE TO TALK ABOUT THIS, BUT
VARIETY MAGAZINE RECENTLY REPORTED THAT YOU ARE IN THE
RUNNING TO POTENTIALLY TAKE OVER FROM TREVOR NOAH ON THE DAILY
SHOW, RIGHT?
BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, CAN I SAY,
KNOWING YOU AS I DO, I THINK YOU WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.
I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYBODY BETTER AS WE GO INTO THIS NEXT
ELECTION YEAR TO DO SUCH A THING, GIVEN YOUR EXPERIENCE AS
A WHITE HOUSE STAFFER AND YOUR EXPERIENCE AS AN EXTREMELY
BRILLIANT COMEDIC PERFORMER.
BUT IS THIS SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD EVER CONSIDER?
>> FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU.
WHAT A KIND THING TO SAY.
>> James: I MEAN IT.
>> AND CAN I USE YOU AS A REFERRAL BECAUSE I FILLED OUT
THE APPLICATION ON COMEDY STRASM YOU NEED TWO REFERRALS.
I CALLED THE OBAMAS.
>> James: OKAY.
>> I COULDN'T GET THROUGH TO MICHELLE SO I HAVE ONE FROM THE
PRESIDENT.
>> James: OKAY.
>> SO CAN YOU BE MY NUMBER TWO.
>> James: WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED?
>> I GREW UP ON JON STEWART'S DAILY SHOW AND REFERRED TREVOR
NOAH SO THE MERE FACT THAT I WAS EVEN MENTIONED IN AN ARTICLE
LIKE THAT IS A HUGE HONOR.
I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD LEAVE IT AT THAT.
I MEAN WHO WANT WANT TO HAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY T IS A SHOW
THAT I THINK SO MANY OF US GREW UP ON AND JUST REALLY
APPRECIATE.
>> James: I THINK YOU COULD BE ABSOLUTELY EXCEPTIONAL.
I REALLY, REALLY DO.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: AND IF IT COMES YOUR WAY I THINK YOU SHOULD GRAB IT
WITH BOTH HANDS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE THANK OUR
INCREDIBLE GUESTS, MELISSA FUMER O AND KAL PENN.
STICK AROUND, TREY WAKE PLN WHEN WE COME BACK.
>> James: WELCOME BACK.
OUR NEXT GUEST IS A STAND UP COMEDIAN WHO PERFORMS AT CLUBS
AND COLLEGES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
HIS NEW ALBUM “TRIGGERED 2” IS OUT NOW.
PLEASE WELCOME TREY WAKEMAN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU SO MUCH!
GAS PRICES ARE SO HIGH, I'M SURPRISED THEY DON'T HAVE THE
MUNCHIES!
THE MUNCHIES.
THE MUNCHIES, THE-- SO HIGH THAT THEY DON'T HAVE THE-- IS THIS
THING ON?
HELLO?
IS THIS THING ON, IS IT ON?
IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S ON.
ARE THESE THINGS ON?
RIGHT HERE?
THESE THINGS ON?
ARE THEY ON?
>> YEAH, YEAH, THOSE THINGS, THOSE ARE DEFINITELY ON, THIS IS
ON.
OKAY.
THOSE ARE ON.
>> James: TREY.
>> BE RIGHT BACK.
>> WHERE DID HE GO?
WHERE IS HE?
>> EXCUSE ME, SIR, HI, ALL THIS STUFF IN HERE, THESE BOARDS AND
MONITORS AND STUFF, IS THIS ALL ON?
IT'S ALL ON.
>> YEAH, IT'S ALL ON.
>> EVERYTHING IS ON.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, THIS THING IS ON.
THIS THING IS ON.
THIS THING SON.
THIS THING IS ON.
THEY'RE ALL ON.
ON, ON, ON.
IS THIS BAD BOY IS ON.
>> HI, CAN I HELP YOU?
>> YEAH, I WAS IN A BUILDING DOWN THE STREET, ZIP CODE 90036.
YOU CAN TELL ME IF LIKE THE POWER GRID IS ON.
LIKE IS EVERYTHING WORKING?
IS IT ALL ON OVER THERE?
>> YEAH, YEAH, IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING IS ON.
>> IS SOMETHING WRONG?
>> YEAH, SO I WAS DOING STANDUP COMEDY IN THAT BUILDING AND I
TOLD A JUDGE AND NOBODY LAUGHED.
SO I FIGURED PROBABLY THE MICROPHONE IS NOT ON AND I
CHECKED AND IT WAS ON, SO I'M KIND OF JUST TRYING TO LIKE
LOCATE WHERE THE PROBLEM IS WELL, CAN I ASK WHAT ITS JOKE
WAS.
>> OH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
GAS PRICES HAVE GOTTEN SO HIGH, I'M SURPRISED THEY DON'T HAVE
THE MUNCHIES.
(LAUGHTER) IS THIS THING ON?
>> YEAH, IT'S ON.
EVERYTHING'S ON.
IT'S NOT THAT GREAT OF A JOKE.
>> OKAY.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
(LAUGHTER) OH BOY.
>> THAT'S NOT FUNNY, ARE YOU NOT FUNNY, THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD HAVE
SAID.
BUT TOO LATE NOW.
(LAUGHTER) I GUESS YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT
UNFORTUNATELY, THAT IS ALL THE TIME I HAVE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
IVY BEEN TREY WAKEMAN.
>> James: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I LIKED IT.
TREY WAKEMAN, EVERYBODY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
IT'S A GOOD JOB, A GOOD JOKE. COME ON, TREY WAKEMAN,
>> James: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WATCHING.
MELISSA, TAKE US HOME.