♪ THAT'S RIGHT.
♪ IT'S THE JAMES CORDEN SHOW. THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
GUYS, I'M SO HAPPY TO INTRODUCE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON
TELEVISION, CHECK IT OUT, IS' PRETTY GREAT, IT'S JAMES CORDEN.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU? THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
BLESS I, EVERYBODY, I APPRECIATE T I REALLY, REALLY DO.
HELLO, GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVE. THANKS FOR TUNING IN.
THANKS FOR COMING TO HANG OUT FOR A LITTLE BIT.
LET'S SEE WHO THE GUESTS ARE ON THE SHOW TONIGHT!
SHE'S AN EMMY-NOMINATED ACTRESS YOU KNOW AND LOVE FROM "GREEN
BOOK," "BLOODLINE" AND THE SMASH, "DEAD TO ME," THE
ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL, LINDA CARDELLINI!
HERE TONIGHT, LINDA, HOW ARE YOU.
>> I'M GREAT, HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
>> James: HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVE, HOW IS IT GOING, ALL READY
AND PREPPED FOR TOMORROW. >> I AM READY, PIES IN OT VEN,
WAITING FOR YOU TO COME OVER FOR DINNER.
>> James: THIS IS GLORIOUS, BLESS YOU FOR BEING HERE.
LINDA CARDELLINI, EVERYBODY. AND
HE'S AN EMMY-NOMINATED COMEDIAN, WRITER AND DIRECTOR WITH A
BRILLIANT NEW NETFLIX SPECIAL CALLED "BLOCKS."
I URGE YOU TO GO AND LOOK FOR IT, IT IS SO GOOD AND YOU CAN
GET TICKETS FOR HIS "BRAND NEW NEAL"
U.S. TOUR ARE AVAILABLE NOW, THE SINGULAR, THE HILARIOUS, NEAL
BRENNAN! IS HERE TONIGHT.
THERE HE IS. >> HEY BUDDY.
>> James: HOW IS IT GOING? HOW ARE YOU?
I'M THRILLED ARE YOU HERE ON THE SHOW.
>> I'M VERY EXCITED TO BE HERE. >> James: IT DOESN'T FEEL IT
WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT, IT DOESN'T.
>> NO, I AM, I REALLY AM. >> James: IS THAT AN 11.
>> NO, THIS IS LIKE A ZOOM, BASICALLY, I AM LOOKING, YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN. I CAN'T WAIT TO TOUCH YOU AND
SNUGGLE YOU. >> James: OKAY, WELL, I CANNOT
WAIT FOR YOU TO TOUCH ME ALSO. I AM SO THRILLED THAT YOU ARE
HERE. WE LOVE OU, NEAL BRENNAN,
EVERYBODY. AND
HE'S A TREMENDOUSLY TALENTED STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND WE'RE
THRILLED HE'LL BE MAKING HIS LATE-NIGHT DEBUT HERE
WITH US TONIGHT. THE ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT,
IT'S GIANMARCO SORESI! HERE TONIGHT, HOW ARE YOU, ARE
YOU OKAY? >> NO, YOU WANT TO COME IN?
>> James: SURE, YEAH. REALLY, YOU WANT US TO COME IN,
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE BUSY, NO?
>> NO, I'M GOOD. I SAVED SOME GRAPES FOR YOU.
>> James: I HAVE NEVER IN 1,134 EPISODES BEEN THIS AROUSED
HOSTING THE SHOW. I AM GOING TO BE THERE.
WHEN WE ROLL THE TITLES. GIANMARCO SORESI, ARE YOU READY?
THEN LET'S, I'M JAMES CORDEN, THIS IS THE "LATE, LATE SHOW,"
ROLL THE TITLES.
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW, WOO!
♪ THE LATE LATE SHOW, OH, OH THE LATE LATE SHOW OH-OH!
♪ IT'S THE LATE, LATE SHOW ♪ >> James: IT CERTAINLY IS!
HEY, THANK GIVING EVE, THIS IS IT.
THIS IS IT. YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO DO
THANKSGIVING EVE, I IMAGINE HOW MANY PEOPLE RIGHT NOW, ARE
WATCHING THIS LIKE IN THEIR OLD CHILDHOOD BEDROOM ON ONE OF
THOSE TVS ON A BRACKET, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT, YOU USED TO CALL
IT A PORTABLE TV AND YOU ARE LIKE THAT IS NOT PORTABLE IN
ANYWAY. >> NO.
>> James: IS IT A BIG DRINKER, THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING.
>> OH YEAH, THIS IS THE BIG GET DRUNK WITH PEOPLE YOU WENT TO
HIGH SCHOOL WITH EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOW IN YOUR 30S DURING THE
HOLIDAY. >> James: YES.
FOR US AT HOME, THAT IS LIKE CHRISTMAS EVE.
>> OKAY. >> James: THAT IS WHAT YOU DO
CHRISTMAS EVE. IF I WENT BACK TO THE CROWN,, IN
HAZELMERE I CAN GUARANTEE YOU THIS IS THE FIRST TIME ANYONE
HAS EVER MENTIONED THE CROWN IN HAZELMERE ON LATE-NIGHT
TELEVISION. IF I WENT BACK THERE, ARGUABLY
ANY FRIDAY OR SATURDAY BUT PARTICULARLY CHRISTMAS EVE, I
WOULD SEE 20 PEOPLE I WENT TO DISOOL WITH.
>> YEAH. BACK IN BEAVERTON, IF YOU GO TO
LIKE THE MAD GREEK TAVERNA THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING, YOUR
NIGHT STARTS WITH CARMEL, HOW-- KARMEL, HOW THE HELL ARE
YOU, TWO HOURS ARE YOU HAMMERED AND THIS GUY IS LIKE, SHE NEVER
LOVED ME. >> James: I IMAGINE YOU GET
PRETTY BUSY AROUND THIS TIME. >> I DO.
I'M NOT COOKING THIS YEAR. MY MOTHER IN LAW-- MY
MOTHER-IN-LAW PAM IS DOING THE COOKING.
AND SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING. IT IS GOING TO BE PRETTY GREAT.
>> James: REALLY. >> PAM KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING.
AND HER HUSBAND BRUCE IS SMOKING A HAM AND THE TURKEY.
IN THE SMOKER. >> James: SMOKING PAM HAM
AND-- . >> YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK IF YOUR
NAME IS PAM, BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK YOU GO BY
PAMELA. >> James: HUNDRED PERCENT.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. >> YEAH.
>> James: AND EQUALLY, IF YOUR NAME IS BRUCE YOU BETTER KNOW
HOW TO SMOKE A [BLEEP] HAM OR YOU AIN'T NO BRUCE TO ME.
HUH-UH. >> YOU DON'T GET TO BE BORN
BRUCE, YOU EARN BRUCE WHEN YOU SMOKE A HAM.
BEFORE THAT YOUR NAME IS LIKE KEVIN OR SOMETHING.
>> James: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
THAT IS A VERY GOOD POINT. NOBODY SHOULD BE BORN BRUCE.
>> YOU SHOULD EARN BRUCE. >> James: YOU SHOULD EARN THE
RIGHT TO BE A BRUCE. >> YEAH, IT SHOULD BE LIKE A
DOCTORATE, YOU HAVE TO SMOKE HAM FOR SEVEN YEARS.
>> James: YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU PUT UP ENOUGH-- SMOKE ENOUGH
HAM, CHANGE A STRANGER'S TIRE, AND ALL OF THE FAMILY SHOULD GET
TOGETHER AND THEY SAY LIKE ALLEN, ALLEN WALKS IN AND THEY
ALL GO SURPRISE, AND ALLEN GOES WHAT IS GOING ON.
ALLEN, WE GOT A LETTER TODAY. YOU HAVE BEEN FORMALLY MADE A
BRUCE. AND EVERYONE IS LIKE OH MY GOD!
(APPLAUSE). >> James: IT'S THAT TIME, IT'S
TIME FOR THE NEWS. ♪ YOU HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVEREAT
BUT NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE NEWS. (APPLAUSE).
>> James: I LOVE THAT. AND
TOMORROW, BE SURE TO SHOW SOME EXTRA GRATITUDE TO WHOEVER
IS HOSTING YOUR DINNER, BECAUSE, THIS YEAR, THANKSGIVING MEAL
PRICES HAVE RISEN TO AN ALL-TIME RECORD HIGH.
IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S GOING TO COST YOU AN ARM
AND A LEG FOR A WING AND A THIGH.
PRICES ARE UP BECAUSE OF INFLATION AND SUPPLY CHAIN
ISSUES. SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF THIS
YEAR, THE CANDIED YAMS ARE JUST A POTATO WITH A STARBURST
IN IT. A NEW RECORD HIGH FOR
THANKSGIVING FOOD ITEMS. YOU KNOW HOW THE ECONOMISTS
FIGURED THIS OUT? PIE CHART.
IS THAT YOUR JOKE, JOHN, OH S IT NOT.
>> NO. >> James: IT IS NOT YOUR JOKE.
>> NO. >> James: WHY WERE YOU SO
PASSIONATE. >> TEAM SPIRIT.
>> James: TEAM SPIRIT. >> WHOEVER DID IT, IT WAS
HILARIOUS. AND DID YOU GUYS HEAR THIS?
66% OF AMERICANS PREFER SIDES TO THEIR HOLIDAY MAIN COURSES.
IT'S TRUE, HALF OF THE UNITED STATES SAYS THEY'D BE
CONTENT WITH ONLY SIDES ON THEIR HOLIDAY PLATE.
BE SURE TO MENTION THAT TO WHOEVER JUST SPENT AN ENTIRE DAY
BASTING A MASSIVE TURKEY. HERE IS WHAT I THINK, RIGHT,
ANYTHING CAN BE A SIDE IF YOU'RE A FREAK LIKE ME.
POT ROAST? SIDE.
HAMBURGER? SIDE.
IT'S ALL SIDES FOR ME, BABY.
I DON'T. >> JUST WHEREVER YOU PUT IT ON
THE PLATE T IS OFF TO THE SIDE, BABY THAT IS A SIDE.
>> James: HIT ME, BEST AND WORST SIDES.
>> THE BEST SIDE ON THANKSGIVING IS STUFFING.
>> James: I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS, YOUR STUFFING IS KIND OF
CRAZY. >> WE-- OUR STUFFING RUNS THE
GAMUT THERE IS SOME CRAZY STUFF. >> James: YOUR STUFFING IS
LIKE BIG LUMPS OF BREAD. >> IT'S BREAD SMOKED IN SAUSAGE
JUICE, IT'S GREAT, IT'S PERFECT. JPS WHAT IS YOUR STUFFING?
WELL, OUR STUFFING WE JUST HAVE A LOT MORE MEAT IN IT.
SO IT WOULD BE LIKE SAUSAGE MEAT, ROSEMARY.
ONE I DID ONCE ONE YEAR, PETE, YOU MIGHT WANT TO MOVE THE
CAMERA BECAUSE ARE YOU GUARANTEED TO HAVE AN A RECTION
WHEN I FINISHED. IT WAS SAUSAGE MEAT, SAUSAGE
MEAT, SAUSAGE MEAT, SAGE, HESTNUT AND THIS IS GOING TO
APP RECOT, AND THAT, WHAT WE DO IS WE PUT IT IN THE BIRD.
YOU PUT IT IN THE BIRD. >> YEAH.
>> WE DO THAT. YEAH.
>> James: SO STUFFING IS NUMBER ONE.
WORST? >> STUFFING WITH CELERYNIN IT.
>> James: SO I'M NOT DOING WHAT I WOULD CALL AN AMERICAN
THANKSGIVING TOMORROW. CUZ I'M JUST DONE WITH PUTTING
MARSHMALLOWS IN. IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME.
IT MAKES NO SENSE, LIKE I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS, WHY IT
HAPPENS. NO ONE WOULD EVER BE LIKE OH
WHAT'S THAT, IT IS SORT OF, IT'S SWEET POTATOE WITH JELLY BEANS.
JUST NEVER HAVE IT. >> SAVE IT FOR THE PIE, THE
POTATOES DON'T NEED TO BE PIE. >> James: I'M ALSO NOT DOING A
PIE. >> WHAT?
WHY? >> James:-- AND BERRIES I'M
GENIUSLY SERIOUS. >> I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU HOPE TO
CONTINUE WITH THE SHOW AFTER THAT.
>> THAT'S TOO MUCH. >> James: I HAVE NEVER REALLY
FEEL LIKE OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT NOW, I'M IN A
FOOD COMA, SOME PIE. >> COME ON, YOU ARE MAKING A PIE
DECISION FOR EVERYONE ELSE AT YOUR THANKSGIVING.
THERE IS GOING TO BE NO PIE, SO YOU WILL STAND THERE IN FRONT OF
YOUR FAMILY AND GOD AND EVERYONE AND SAY IT'S BERRIES, THAT IS A
THING ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO PEOPLE YOU LOVE T IS
THANKSGIVING, MAYBE OUR LAST ONE IN AMERICA.
I'M NOT DONE. MAYBE OUR LAST ONE IN AMERICA,
FOR AWHILE. AND YOU'RE GOING TO SAY HERE IS
THE SELECTION OF FRESH BERRIES? I DON'T KNOW WHO THE [BLEEP] YOU
ARE ANY MORE. >> James: YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY
RIGHT. COMPLETELY [BLEEP] UP.
>> ARE YOU REALLY JUST GOING DO BERRIES.
>> James: NOW I HAVE TO DO A PIE NOW WON'T I, AFTER THIS.
WHAT DO I DO, AN APPLE PIE. >> I THINK YOU DO A PUMPKIN PIE,
A PECAN PIE. >> James: I PUMPKIN PIE, I
FIND THEM TOO INTENSE. THAT IS MY PROBLEM.
A NICE APPLE PIE. >> SWEET POTATOE PIE, THAT IS A
GOOD ONE. >> James: CAN I DO A NICE
APPLE PIE. >> YOU CAN DO AN APPLE PIE.
>> SWEET POTATOE. >> WHY ARE YOU DISGUSTED WITH
ME. >> IT'S A PUMPKIN PIE, IT'S
THANKSGIVING. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.
>> I'M BRITISH. I DON'T GIVE A [BLEEP] ABOUT ANY
OF THIS. PECAN PIE, NO ONE WANTS IT.
>> PUMPKIN PIE NO ONE IS INTERESTED.
YOU COULD LURE ME WITH A NICE APPLE AND SOME YOU CANS TARD OR
ICE CREAM ON IT, OR A LA MODE. >> SWEET POTATOE PIE.
>> STOP SAYING SWEET POTATOE PIE.
>> SWEET POTATOE. >> AND STOP CLEANING YOUR
GLASSES EVERY TIME WE SPEET. >> SWEET POTATOE.
>> James: THE ENTIRE THING IS FREAKING ME OUT.
>> SWEET POTATOE. >> James: STOP IT!
>> SWEET POTATOE. >> James: STOP IT.
NICK IS GOT A RAISED HAND, HERE WE GO, THE FINAL WORD FROM THE
SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT OF THE LATE NIGHT PROGRAMMING WEST
COAST RIGHT HERE ON CBS, AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE NETWORK.
>> SHOULD WE JUST RUN A REPEAT TONIGHT?
OKAY I WILL DO I A PIE, I WILL SEND YOU A PHOTO, I WILL DO AN
APPLE PIE THOUGH. DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES, IT IS
STILL A PIE. >> YOU HAVE TO DO THAT.
>> James: I AM NOT GETTING INVOLVED IN ANY OTHER NONSENSE
SIDE, I'M NOT CREAMING BEANS AND ALL THAT [BLEEP].
>> IF THE PIE IS GOOD ENOUGH, YOU WILL BE.
>> CREAMING BEANS. >> James: CREAMING BEANS.
IT'S TRUE. WHY YOU ARE LAUGHING.
>> NO ONE CREAMS BEANS. >> James: YES, YOU DO.
>> YOU CREAM CORN. >> James: NO YOU HAVE CREAMED
BEANS, CREAM EVERYWHERE. CREAMED BEANS, MARSHMALLOW IN
SAVORY [BLEEP] THERE IS MASHED POTATOE.
I JUST CAN'T. >> CREAMED-- .
>> James: DON'T EVEN, I DON'T LIKE MASHED POTATOE.
>> WHAT THE HELL, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
WHO ARE YOU? >> James: I DON'T LIKE IT,
WINNIE. >> SWEET POTATOES.
>> James: STOP SAYING SWEET POTATOES.
>> SWEET POTATOES. >> James: WHAT IS THAT NOISE?
THAT IS CBS PULLING US OFF AIR. AND IF YOU EVER WISHED YOUR
FAVORITE THANKSGIVING SIDE DISH CAME-- HERE IS A STORY, RIGHT.
[BLEEP] HERE IS A DIFFERENT WAY TO SPEND YOUR THANKSGIVING DAY,
A NEW YORK ANIMAL SANCTUARY IS GIVING VITSERS THE OPTION OF
TURKEY CUDDLING. THIS ST REAM YOU CAN CUDDLE WITH
A REAL LIP TURKEY WHILE FEEDING IT
CRANBERRIES AND GRAPES. THE EXPERIENCE COSTS $50.
BUT IF YOU DROP 60, YOU MIGHT GET A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA.
(LAUGHTER) THAT'S THE NEWS, WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> James: WELCOME BACK, LET'S MEET OUR GETION, SHE STARS IN
"GED TO ME" LET'S MEET LINDA CARDELLINI.
HIS NEW SPECIAL IS CALLED "NEAL BRENNAN: BLOCKS," NEAL BRENNAN!
>> Reggie: IT'S NEAL BRENNAN!
THANK YOU DO MUCH FOR COMING, TWO PEOPLE I LOVE, RESPECT,
ADMIRE AND ADORE, RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF ME, HOW LUCKY AM I.
NOW THANKS GIVING IS TOMORROW. NEAL, WHAT'S THE PLAN.
LOOKING FORWARD, ARE YOU GOING TO GET TOGETHER WITH FAMILY?
>> I DON'T WANT TO SAY I'VE GIVEN UP ON MY FAMILY BUT LAST,
A COUPLE THANKSGIVING AGO I HAD THE IDEA WE SHOULD HAVE THE GAME
SHOW WHERE I'M ONE OF TEN KIDS. >> James: WOW.
>> I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA IF WE ALL MOVED IN
TOGETHER, CBS WOULD FILM IT. AND AMERICA WOULD VOTE US OFF
ONE AT A TIME. IT WOULD BE CALLED LAST BRENNAN
STANDING AND THE WINNER WOULD GET A MILLION DOLLARS.
AND WOULD BE ABLE TO LEAVE THE FAMILY FOREVER.
>> James: NICK, WOULD CBS GO FOR THIS, DO YOU THINK?
>> IT'S POSSIBLE. MAYBE NOT THE MILLION DOLLARS
PART BUT THE REST OF IT SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.
>> James: LOOK AT THAT, HE IS ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT THE CASH.
WHAT IF WE GOT IT SPONSORED. >> YEAH.
>> James: LIKE TOYOTA TUNDRA. LIKE THE LAST BRENNAN STANDING
LEAVES IN A TOYOTA TUNDRA. DO YOU THINK WE WOULD GET THE
MILLION THEN. >> THAT SOUNDS LIKE AROUND THAT.
>> James: WE'RE ALREADY COOKING NEAL.
>> FANTASTIC. >> I'M LIKING IT.
>> James: YOU BOTH COME FROM BIG FAMILIES.
I UNDERSTAND THIS IS WHERE YOUR PERFORMING CHOPS CAME IN BECAUSE
YOU AND YOUR SIBLINGS ALL USED TO PERFORM AT THANKSGIVING S
THAT RIGHT. >> I WAS THE YOUNGEST OF FOUR SO
I WAS KIND OF ALWAYS LIKE PERFORMING.
BUT I WOULD CHARGE TICKET PRICES.
I WOULD GOUGE MY FAMILY, MAKE TICKETS AND I WOULD DO LIKE, I
DON'T KNOW SOME KIND OF SHOW. >> James: WHAT KIND OF SHOW,
WHAT WOULD YOU DO. >> I WOULD DO, I DON'T KNOW LIKE
A TALK SHOW, OR I WOULD DO LIKE DRESS UP AND WRESTLE THE COUCH
PILLOW, I DON'T KNOW, WHATEVER THERE WAS TO DO I WOULD DO IT
FOR THE ATTENTION. >> James: THE OLD CARDELLINI
COUCH PILLOW WRESTLING. THAT IS WHERE I WAS BORN AT
THANKSGIVING. YOU WERE ONE OF TEN.
SO MEAL TIMES MUST HAVE BEEN INSANE, RIGHT?
>> YEAH, THEY WERE, THEY WERE INSANE.
LIKE WE COULDN'T, IF SOMEONE CALLED YOU BETWEEN 7 AND 8 ON
THE PHONE AND INTERRUPTED DINNER, YOU WERE GROUNDED FROM
THE PHONE FOR A WEEK. EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T YOUR
FAULT. WILD RULES, WE USED TO HAVE TO,
THERE WERE TOO MANY OF US SO WE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE OUR LUNCHES
IN BULK ON THE WEEKENDS. >> James: RIGHT.
>> SO WE WOULD MAKE FIVE SANDWICHES FOR THE WEEK.
AND STICK THEM IN THE FREEZER. AND THEN WE WOULD GRAB A
SANDWICH ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND MAYBE THINKING IT
MUST NOT HAVE MADE FOR A REFRESH SANDWICH BUT YOU ARE FORE
GETTING AN IMPORTANT PIECE IS THAT SANDWICHES DON'T ALWAYS THD
LUNCHTIME IN THOSE CASES WE WOULD EAT AROUND THE EDGES OF
THE SANDWICH LIKE RATS ON A PIRATE SHIP.
>> James: LINDA, YOU HAVE BEEN IN SO MANY SHOWS AND MOVIES.
I IMAGINE YOU MUST GET RECOGNIZED ALL THE TIME.
WHICH DO YOU PREFER THAT PEOPLE COME UP TO YOU, DO YOU PREFER
SOMEONE ASKING FOR A SELFIE OR MORE TRADITIONAL AUTO GRAFER.
>> AN AUTOGRAPHS, YOU PRACTICED THAT THEN YOU YOU WERE A KID BUT
NOBODY WANTS THOSE ANY MORE. EVERYBODY JUST WANTS A SELFIE.
I DON'T KNOW, MY FAVORITE STORY ABOUT AN AUTOGRAPH IS THAT ONE
TIME I WAS TELLING SOMEBODY WHO I SORT OF JUST DON'T GET
RECOGNIZED. OKAY, WE WERE WALKING FROM A
PREMIER TO THE PARTY. AND A WOMAN CHASED ME, I MEAN
REALLY CHASED ME DOWN THE STREET, HUFFING AND PAIN AND
SUFFERING. I THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS YELLING
LINDA LINDA. SO I TURNED AROUND.
SHE IS OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY, I CHASED YOU ALL THE WAY DOWN
THE STREET BECAUSE I REALLY WANT YOU TO AUTOGRAPH THIS PICTURE.
AND SHE PULLED IT OUT AND IT WAS A PICTURE OF LINDA CARTER FROM
WONDER WOMAN IN THE 1970S. AND LINDA CART CERTIFICATE ALSO
BEAUTIFUL AND 6 FEET TALL. AND I THOUGHT OH MY GOD, I
REALIZED SHE WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO PROBABLY JUST CHASES
PEOPLE SHE HEAR ARE CELEBRITY AND HEARD LINDA CARD-- AND
DIDN'T HERE THE WREST OF IT, LYNNI, AND THOUGHT SHE WAS
WONDER WOMAN. >> I DIDN'T SIGN IT BUT I TOOK A
PICTURE OF HER WITH THE PICTURE. >> James: I WOULD HAVE JUST
SIGNED IT. THAT IS WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE.
I HAD SOMEONE A FEW YEARS AGO, KIMMEL WA HOSTING THE OSCARS
AND SOMEONE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID GOOD LUCK TONIGHT, IT WAS
ON A SUNDAY, LIKE 2 P.M. I WAS IN SANTA MONICA AND THE
SHOW STARTED AT 5. AND THEY WENT GOOD LUCK TONIGHT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE OUT SHOPPING WHEN ARE YOU ABOUT TO
HOST THE ACADEMY AWARDS. AND I THOUGHT I WOULD GO WITH IT
AND I JUST SAID LOOK, I LIKE TO KEEP MY MIND OFF OF IT.
IT SAY BIG SHOW. IT IS SO KOOVMENT COULD I GET
YOUR AUTOGRAPH. AND I SAID ABSOLUTELY.
AND I SAID CAN I GET A FET OWE. AND I SAID SURE.
AND HE SAID OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO WATCH TONIGHT.
AND MY FRIENDS AREN'T GOING TO BELIEVE IT.
AND I THOUGHT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW RIGHT YOU ARE.
YOU GET RECOGNIZED A LOT WHEN ARE YOU OUT AND ABOUT.
>> I CALL MYSELF, I'M ABOUT AS FAMOUS AS AN NBA REFEREE.
Z THEY ARE LIKE I KNOW I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE VAGUELY.
I I CALL MYSELF, I'M FREE SAUCE FAMOUS, IF I GO TO A FAST FOOD
PLACE AND I NEED EXTRA SAUCE AND IT IS LIKE 30 CENTS, THEY WILL
SLIDE IT TO ME AND BE LIKE BIG FAN.
THEY MAKE ME PAY FOR THE ENTREE. >> James: OF COURSE.
>> BUT THE SAUCE, ON THE HOUSE. >> James: I MEAN, CAN I BE
HONEST, I THINK IT SAY PERFECT LEVEL OF THANKS.
FREE SAUCE FAME IS WHAT EVERYONE SHOULD STRIFE FOR.
>> WELL, I'M THERE. >> James: ARE YOU RIGHT THERE.
LINDA, WE HAVE TO CONGRATULATE YOU ON THE THIRD AND FINAL
SEASON OF DEAD TO ME, IT HAS BEEN SUCH A HUGE SMASH.
FOR ANYBODY THAT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING THIS SEASON.
>> THIS SEASON CHRISTINA APPLEGATE AND I PLAY CHARACTERS
JEN AND JUDY AND DOING SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO BE-- EVEN
MURDERING PEOPLE SO THIS SEASON WE ARE ON THE RUN STILL FROM OUR
PAST. AND IT IS THE THIRD AND FINAL
SEASON. SO SOME OF THOSE THINGS WILL BE
TIDIED UP AND SOME QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED.
AND IT'S THE END OF THE SHOW, SO STUFF HAPPENS.
>> James: YOU HAVE BEEN ON LOTS OF BIG SHOWS THAT HAVE
ENDED AT VARIOUS POINTED. DO YOU EVER TAKE A MOMENTO.
>> OH YEAH. >> James: WHAT DID YOU TAKE
FROM DEAD TO ME. >> I TOOK THE OUTDOOR FURNITURE,
MY ENTIRE BACKYARD. >> James: THAT IS NOT A
MEMENTO, I THINK THAT IS CALLED THEFT, I WAS THINKING LIKE A
MUG. BUT DID THEY GIVE IT TO YOU AS A
GIFT. >> THEY DID.
>> James: OR DID YOU GO GUY, PUT THIS IN.
>> WHEN NOBODY IS LOOKING PUT ALL THAT FURNITURE.
>> James: IT IS NICE FURNITURE.
>> IF IS WRLT BEAUTIFUL. SO WE HAD A LOT OF, YOU KNOW,
REALLY HEARTFELT MOMENTS ON THAT.
SO I CAN TELL WHO HAS SEEN THE SHOW WHEN THEY COME OVER AND SIT
IN MY BACKYARD, THIS LOOKS FAMILIAR AND I KNOW THEY HAVE
SEEN IT. >> James: LET'S LOOK AT A CLIP
FROM DEAD TO ME WHICH IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON NETFLIX.
>> WHAT IS GOING ON. YOU SOUNDED WORRIED ON THE
PHONENESS. >> I THINK SOMEONE WAS FOLLOWING
ME. >> REALLY.
>> MAYBE I'M JUST BEING PARANOID.
>> MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE PARANOID. >> WHY DO YOU SAY THAT.
>> BECAUSE YOU JUST SAID THAT. >> I DID SAY, THAT I THINK YOU
SHOULD FOLLOW UP ON IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LIGHT.
>> ALL RIGHT. WHAT DID THIS PERSON LOOK LIKE.
>> WHAT PERSON. >> THE PERSON FOLLOWING YOU.
>> THAT PERSON, I DON'T KNOW, I DIDN'T GET A GOOD LOOK.
>> James: STICK AROUND, MORE WITH THESE TWO WHEN WE COME
BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> MOST INTERACTIONS I HAVE FEEL LIKE WHEN YOU GO TO THROW
SOMETHING AWAY AND IT IS IN ONE OF THOSES GARBAGE CANS WITH A
GARBAGE HOLE, RECYCLING HOLE AND COME POST HOLE AND DO YOU YOUR
BEST BUT AFTERWARD YOU ARE LIKE, I DON'T THINK I DID THAT RIGHT.
THAT IS HOW I FEEL MOST OF THE TIME.
GO YOU THROUGH LIFE FEELING LIKE I [BLEEP] UP AND I'M GOING TO
GET IN TROUBLE. I WORRY THAT MY FINAL THOUGHT ON
EARTH ON MY DEATH BED IS GOING TO BE S THAT NURSE MAD AT ME?
>> James: THAT WAS A CLIP FROM "NEAL BRENNAN: BLOCKS," WHICH
IS STREAMING RIGHT NOW ON NETFLIX.
CONGRATS ON THE SHOW, IT'S SO GOOD.
IT'S SO BRILLIANT, THIS ONE FEELS LIKE IT IS A REAL,
EVOLUTION FROM THAT. TELL US ALL ABOUT T.
>> IT IS BAIFLT LIKE ABOUT-- BASICALLY ABOUT MY-- I
FEEL LIKE KIND OF ISOLATED IN A LOT OF SITUATIONS.
I'M NOT MARRIED, I DON'T HAVE KIDS, I AM IN MY LATE 40S.
PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT AND I JUST TALK ABOUT HOW I HAVE TRIED A
BUNCH OF DIFFERENT STUFF. LIKE I'VE DATED BY AGE AND JOB
AND RACE, I DATED A MODEL. THANK YOU.
GUYS, DATING A MODEL IS LIKE OWNING A DUNE BUGGY.
AND DATING A MODEL IS LIKE OWNING A DUNE BUGGY BECAUSE AT
THE BEACH IT'S GREAT. BUT EVERYWHERE ELSE YOU ARE
LIKE, I SHOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE.
SO IT TOOK A LOT OF THAT IN EXPRESSING JOKES, OPINIONS, OR
JOKE THINGS BUT ALSO HOW I ACTUALLY FEEL ABOUT STUFF.
IT WOULD BE LIKE IF RODNEY DANGERFIELD DID LIKE, I GOT NO
RESPECT. AND THEN HE TOLD YOU HOW BAD HE
FELT ABOUT NOT GETTING RESPECT. >> James: IT IS VERY RAW, YOU
ARE VERY OPEN. WHEN YOU RELEASE A NEW SPECIAL
ON NETFLIX DO YOU EVER GET CAUGHT UP WITH HOW MANY, DO YOU
EVER GET TOLD HOW MANY VIEWERS ARE WATCHING, HOW MANY PEOPLE
ARE WATCHING IT, IS THAT SOMETHING THAT MATTERS TO YOU.
>> I DO BUT YOU KIND OF CAN'TR3 PAY ATTENTION.
OLDER PEOPLE WOULD ALWAYS BRING UP TV RATINGS AS PROOF THAT
AMERICA WAS BETTER OR SOMETHING. THEY WOULD BE LIKE 50 MILLION
PEOPLE WOULD WATCH SEINFELD OR ALL IN THE FAMILY.
THE REASON 50 MILLION PEOPLE WATCH ALL IN THE FAMILY IS
BECAUSE THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE TO DO.
YOU EITHER WATCH ALL IN THE FAMILY OR GO STAND IN THE YARD.
THERE WAS NOTHING. LIKE AMERICA USED TO BE SO
BORING AND SO DISORGANIZED, YOU COULD MURDER.
COULD YOU MURDER SO EASILY. >> James: I DO OFTEN THINK HOW
EASY IT MUST HAVE BEEN TO MURDER.
>> ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOT LEAVE A FINGERPRINT AND COULD
YOU MURDER THREE OR FOUR DAYS A WEEK.
>> THERE WAS NO WAY TO CATCH YOU, HERE IS HOW EASY IT WAS TO
MURDER. MURDER IS USED TO WRITE LETTERS
TO THE NEWSPAPER FOR FUN. >> YES.
>> James: YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
>> DEAR PAPER, IT'S ME THE MURDERER, HA HA HA.
HERE SAY LITTLE CLUE, THINGS ARE GETTING BORING OVER HERE, SO
HERE SAY CLUE. WHAT HAS FOUR LEGS AND LOVES
DINNER, A TABLE. SEE YOU AT THE NEXT MURDER.
>> James: THIS SAY BIG YEAR, THE 20th ANNIVERSARY OF
SCOOBY DOO, AND IT WAS RECENTLY REVEALED THAT YOUR CHARACTER,
VELMA, IS GAY. >> RIGHT.
>> James: WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN YOU HEARD THIS NEWS.
>> WELL, THEY HAVE BEEN HINTING AROUND WITH THAT FOREVER.
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS IN 220 YEARS AGO, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT
WAS SO LONG AGO, THERE WERE PARTS IN THE MOVIE AND SORT OF
GOT WEEDED OUT. BUT YEAH, I THINK IT HAS BEEN
HINTED AROUND FOR LONG ENOUGH, I'M HPPY IT OUT THERE.
>> James: SHE IS OUT THERE. GOOD LUCK.
>> GOOD FOR YOU, VELMA. >> James: NEAL, I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS, YOU HAVE BECOME OBSESSED WITH AN APP
CALLED WONDER AI WHICH USES ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE TO
CREATE PHOTOS AND YOU SENTED US SOME PHOTOS, WHAT AM I LOOKING
AT HERE? >> SO IF YOU TYPE IN FRANCE,
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE JUST GENERATES IMAGES BASED ON
WHATEVER YOU TYPE IN. IT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.
I TYPED IN NEAL BRENNAN, NASCAR AND THIS IS WHAT IT GAVE ME.
>> IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE YOU. >> YEAH.
>> THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ME, THAT IS WITH ALL OF THE
AGGREGATE PHOTOS OF ME ON THE INTERNET HAVE LEAD A COMPUTER TO
BELIEVE I LOOK LIKE. I'M GOING TO SUE THEM.
>> James: SO THEN YOU TYPED IN.
>> THEN I TYPED IN NEAL BRENNAN JAMES CORDEN RIDING HORSES, THIS
IS INSANE. >> James: LOOK AT THAT.
>> WHO IS TWHR? OR JUST.
>> THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE AMISH JOHN TRAVOLTA.
>> James: IT DOES. >> YOU'RE RIDING A HORSE AND A
HORSE IS RIDING YOU. >> James: YES.
>> AND I'M TRYING TO STOP THE WHOLE THING SWRZ AND I'M GOING
GIVE IT A MINUTE. AND THEN YOU TYPED IN.
>> OH NO, LINDA CARDELLINI, JAMES CORDEN, TELEVISION SHOW.
>> James: AND LOOK AT US IN SOME KIND OF COP PROCEDURE, I
KIND OF LOVE IT, IT IS AMAZING. >> I THINK THIS WOULD BE CALLED
CSI: SCARIER LOOKING THAN THE CRIMINALS.
>> James: IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE WE'RE IN SCOOBY DOO AND
WE'RE GOING TO PULL THOSE MASKS OFF AND BE LIKE WE WOULD HAVE
GOTEN AWAY WITH IT IF IT WASN'T FOR THOSE PESKY KIDS.
>> WHAT IS WITH YOUR FINGER. >> WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH MY
FINGER. >> James: WOULD CBS GO FOR
THIS, NICKER F WE GOT IT SPONSORED.
>> TOYOTA TUNDRA WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.
>> James: THEY WILL GO FOR THIS, I'M CERTAIN, PLEASE THANK
OUR WONDERFUL GUESTS, LINDA CARDELLINI, NEAL BRENNAN.
STICK AROUND, GIANMARCO SORESI WHEN WE COME BACK.
>> James: WELCOME BACK. WE'VE ALL SEEN THOSE
PRESCRIPTION DRUG ADS ON TV WHERE AT THE END IT SAYS “SIDE
EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE,” AND THEN THEY LIST A LONG SET OF SIDE
EFFECTS. WELL, IT TURNS OUT THAT SIDE
EFFECTS AREN'T JUST FOR DRUGS, THERE'S SIDE EFFECTS FOR
EVERYTHING IN LIFE. WHICH BRINGS US
TO OUR SEGMENT, "SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE".
>> Reggie: SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE.
IS ANYONE HERE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW ASKING YOU TO
KEEP AN EYE ON THE OVEN FOR FIVE MINUTES?
IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW ASKING YOU TO KEEP
AN EYE ON THE OVEN FOR FIVE MINUTES, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT
THERE ARE SIDE EFFECTS, AND THOSE SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE
PEERING INTO THE OVEN WINDOW AND SAYING, "THAT'S A
BEAUTIFUL-LOOKING BIRD YA GOT THERE, LINDA."
WONDERING WHY YOU SAID THAT WHEN YOU'VE NEVER USED THAT
COMBINATION OF WORDS BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE.
RECOVERING BY SAYING, LOOKS NUM NUM YUMMERS TO ME, LINDA."
BURYING YOUR FACE IN YOUR HANDS. WHY CAN'T YOU TALK LIKE A NORMAL
HUMAN PERSON? REASSURING HER WITH "MMMMM
LINDA, JUST LOOK AT THOSE JUICY BREASTS."
FINALLY TELLING LINDA THE HOLIDAYS MAKE YOU NERVOUS AND
YOU AREN'T VERY GOOD AT SMALL TALK, BUT YOU'RE VERY EXCITED
FOR DINNER. AND THE FINAL SIDE EFFECT OF
YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW ASKING YOU TO KEEP AN EYE ON THE OVEN FOR FIVE
MINUTES IS LINDA REMINDING YOU HER NAME IS LESLIE.
IS ANYONE HERE THINKING ABOUT BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING?
IF YOU'RE THINKING OF BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING YOU SHOULD KNOW
THAT THERE ARE SIDE EFFECTS AND THOSE SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE,
TELLING YOURSELF TO STAY COOL, YOU'RE JUST HERE TO FIND SOME
DEALS. IMMEDIATELY STOMPIN' OUT SOME
BITCH WHO TRIED TAKING YOUR XBOX.
THROAT CHOPPIN' SOME CHODE WHO'S TRYIN' TO GANK YOUR
CROCK POT. SEE THAT GUY WHO JUST GOT THE
LAST BLENDER? LAYIN' HIS DUMB ASS OUT HARD.
BEING SURPRISED AT HOW HIGH YOU CAN KICK AS YOU KNOCK THE
GLASSES OFF OF SOME CHOWDERHEAD WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD GET AWAY
WITH THREE iPADS. NOT BEING SURE IF THIS BLOOD
BELONGS TO YOU OR ONE OF THE MANY BRENDAS YOU JUST TOOK OUT,
BUT NOT CARING. AND THE FINAL SIDE EFFECT OF
BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING IS SAVING $8.00
IS ANYONE HERE THINKING OF ASKING YOUR UNCLE HOW HIS YEAR
HAS BEEN? IF YOU'RE THINKING OF ASKING
YOUR UNCLE HOW HIS YEAR HAS BEEN, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THERE
ARE SIDE EFFECTS, AND THOSE SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE, HEARING
YOUR UNCLE TELL YOU IN DETAIL ABOUT EVERY MEDICAL PROCEDURE
HE'S HAD THIS YEAR. LOOKING AT ALL 157 PHOTOS
HE TOOK WILE ON HIS CRUISE TO ALASKA.
MENTIONING TO HIM THAT YOU'RE SURPRISED PEOPLE ARE STILL GOING
ON CRUISES AFTER COVID. HIM EXPLAINING IT'S SCAMDEMIC
AND YOU'VE BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA.
YOU TELLING HIM THAT HE IS THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN BRAINWASHED.
BOTH OF YOU FEELING SORRY FOR EACH OTHER FOR BEING SO
CLOSE-MINDED. AND THE FINAL
SIDE EFFECT OF ASKING YOUR UNCLE HOW HIS YEAR HAS BEEN IS NOT
SEEING EACH OTHER AGAIN UNTIL CHRISTMAS WHERE YOU WILL HAVE
THIS EXACT SAME CONVERSATION. IS ANYONE HERE THINKING OF
TRYING TO MAKE A TURDUCKEN? IF YOU'RE THINKING OF TRYING TO
MAKE A TURDUCKEN, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT THERE ARE SIDE EFFECTS
AND THOSE SIDE EFFECTS MAY INCLUDE, STRAIGHT UP SHOVING A
WHOLE CHICKEN INTO A DUCK'S ASS. SHOVING THAT WHOLE DUCK WITH THE
WHOLE CHICKEN IN ITS ASS INTO A TURKEY'S ASS.
SHOVING THAT WHOLE TURKEY WITH THE WHOLE DUCK WITH A WHOLE
CHICKEN IN ITS ASS IN ITS ASS INTO THE OVEN.
AND THE FINAL SIDE EFFECT OF TRYING TO MAKE A TURDUCKEN IS
BEING TOO HORNY TO EAT. THAT WAS "SIDE EFFECTS MAY
INCLUDE." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY.
>> James: WELCOME BACK. OUR NEXT GUEST IS A BRILLIANT
STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND WE'RE HONORED HE'S CHOSEN OUR SHOW TO
MAKE HIS LATE-NIGHT DEBUT. HIS VERY ENTERTAINING PODCAST,
"THE DOWNSIDE," IS AVAILABLE NOW.
PLEASE WELCOME, THE DELIGHTFUL, GIANMARCO SORESI!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU, THANK YOU.
HELLO! HELLO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
MY NAME IS GIANMARCO. I AM FROM NEW YORK CITY.
THANK YOU, IT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD. I GET A LOT OF MY MATERIAL JUST
FROM LIVING THERE, YOU KNOW. LIKE I WAS ON THE TRAIN, TRUE
STORY, I WAS ON ITS TRAIN, THERE WAS A COUPLE ACROSS FROM ME.
THE MAN SAID TO THE WOMAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO FOR DINNER.
AND I SWEAR TO GOD, THE WOMAN SAID, I THINK THAT LENGTH LANKY
JEW IS LISTENING TO OUR CONVERSATION.
I AM JEWISH. I DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF
IT UNLESS I'M LOSING AN ARGUMENT WITH A PERSON OF COLOR.
I DID HAVE A GERMAN BARTENDER ONCE.
AND SHOW IT CAME UP, I WAS JEWISH AND IMMEDIATELY HE WAS
LIKE, I AM SO SORRY FOR THE HOLOCAUST.
WHICH THREW ME OFF GUARD. LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO
RESPOND TO THAT AS A JEW. NO WORRIES.
DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW, SO I JUST SAID
COULD I GET A FREE BEER. AND HE WAS LIKE I WOULD BUT MY
BOSS WOULD GET MAD. I WAS LIKE I GET T YOU'RE JUST
FOLLOWING ORDERS. IS MY MOM'S JEWISH, MY DAD ASK
ITALIAN. IF YOU DON'T KNOW ITALIAN,
SOCIAL DISTANCING WAS HARD BECAUSE ITALIANS, WE HUG, WE
KISS, WE GET FIRED FOR IT BECAUSE IT MAKES PEOPLE QUITE
UNCOMFORTABLE. LIKE MY ROOMMATE IS NOT ITALIAN.
I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME MY ROOMMATE SAW MY ITALIAN FATHER
AND I KISS EACH OTHER GOOD-BYE, HE WAS LIKE EWW.
DO YOU KISS YOUR DAD? IN PUBLIC?
AND I WAS LIKE YEAH, YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE WEIRD, IF I
ONLY KISSED HIM IN PRIVATE. SO I WAS LIKE HEY, POPS, LET'S
GET OUT OF HERE. FOR A PROPER GOOD-BYE.
AND I WASN'T BORN IN ITALY, OBVIOUSLY, BUT-- WHEN PEOPLE ASK
IN ITALY WHERE IS MY FAMILY FROM, I'M LIKE NINTENDO.
I WENT TO COLLEGE FOR MUSICAL THEATER.
WHICH IS LIKE SAYING I HAVE A PH DID IN IMAGINATION.
PICKING YOUR MAJOR SHOULD WORK MORE LIKE-- BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE
NEVER GONE TO COLLEGE FOR MUSICAL THEATER IF I HAD TO GO
TO MY PARENTS AND BE LIKE I LIKE TO ACT, CAN I KIND OF SING AND
CAN I DO THIS. AND I'M ASKING FOR 200,000
DOLLARS. WITH A ZERO PERCENT RETURN ON
INVESTMENT. AND THAT WILL BECOME A COMEDIAN
AND TALK CRAP ABOUT YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
MY PARENTS GOT DIVORCED WHEN I WAS 7, SO LIKE MY KIDS MY FIRST
WORD WERE MAMA, TOLD ME TO TELL YOU.
THEY HAVE JOINT CUSTODY AND THE CUSTODY AGREEMENT WAS SO
COMPLICATED IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON THE SAT'S.
LIKE IF GIANMARCO IS SUPPOSED TO BE AT HIS JEWISH MOM'S HOUSE ON
TUESDAY, BUT TUESDAY IS HIS FATHER'S BIRTHDAY, WHICH HAPPENS
TO BE THE LAST NIGHT OF HANUKKAH BUT HIS DAD'S PARENTS ARE TAKING
A TRAIN IN FROM PHILLIE GOING AT 60 MILES PER HOUR, THAN HOW MUCH
LEXAPRO WILL GIANMARCO NEED? I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE I LIKE
MORE. BECAUSE WHEN YOUR PARENTS GET
DIVORCED THERE IS ALWAYS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE PARENT AND
THERE IS THE DAD. LIKE MY DAD, MY DAD LET ME EAT
WHATEVER I WANTED. MY FRIEND WAS GET JEALOUS
BECAUSE WHEN MY DAD PACKED ME LUNCH FOR SCHOOL WE ALWAYS SLIP
A BIG PEPPER PEPPERMINTS PADDY IN MY PACK OF CIGARETTE, FUN
DAD. I KNOW NOT ALL OF YOU CAN RELATE
TO MY DIVORCE JOKES, BUT WILL YOU SOME DAY.
I LIKE TELLING THEM BECAUSE I DID A FAMILY SHOW ONCE.
WHERE AFTER THE SHOW THIS LITTLE KID RAN UP TO ME.
HE WAS THERE WITH HIS MOM AND HE WAS VERY SHY BUT HE CAME RIGHT
UP, HE WAS LIKE MY PARENTS ARE DIVORCED.
AND ARE YOU REALLY FUNNY. AND THAT'S WHY I DO THIS.
TO MEET SINGLE MOMS. MY DAD HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND.
WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON LIKE BEING BORN IN 1988.
IT'S WEIRD, I LIKES DATING YOUNGER, I LIKE DATING OLDER,
ONCE WE WENT ON A DOUBLE DATE AND IT LOOKED LIKE THE FAMILY
DINNER I NEVER HAD. BUT THE HOST WAS GIVING WEIRD
LOOKS BECAUSE THE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS PLAYING-- AND AT THE END MY
CAN DAD WENT TO KISS ME AND I WAS LIKE LET'S DO THIS IN
PRIVATE. THAT IS MY TIME.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GIANMARCO SORESI.
>> James: WHAT ABOUT THAT. THAT WAS SO GOOD.
GIANMARCO SORESI, EVERYBODY. BRILLIANT PODCAST IS STREAMING
RIGHT NOW. COME ON BACK, EVERYBODY.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> James: THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR WATCHING, HAPPY THANKSGIVING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
REGGIE, TAKE US HOME. ♪