1
00:00:14,646 --> 00:00:16,565
God damn it!
2
00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:22,029
Get out of the way,
you happy-go-lucky son of a bitch!
3
00:00:23,113 --> 00:00:24,073
What?
4
00:00:24,156 --> 00:00:28,035
- Here's your Sunday paper, sir.
- It's Sunday?
5
00:00:28,118 --> 00:00:31,872
Holy shit.
I was supposed to help negotiate
6
00:00:31,873 --> 00:00:34,041
with the North Vietnamese yesterday.
7
00:00:34,124 --> 00:00:36,335
Well, let's see how it all went.
8
00:00:37,294 --> 00:00:39,713
- Ouch.
- I'm also collecting.
9
00:00:39,797 --> 00:00:43,258
You owe The Chronicle
Journal Record $13.35.
10
00:00:43,342 --> 00:00:45,794
Look, kid, I don't have
any cash on me right now.
11
00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:49,056
- I'll get you next week.
- That's what you said last week.
12
00:00:49,139 --> 00:00:51,100
And I'm saying it this week!
13
00:00:51,183 --> 00:00:53,435
- But...
- I don't have it, you little shit!
14
00:00:53,519 --> 00:00:58,190
Oh, you have it. Why don't you
just pay my son what you owe him?
15
00:00:58,273 --> 00:01:00,901
- Or else what?
- I don't know.
16
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:03,529
Maybe I'll just wrap
this thing around your fucking head.
17
00:01:06,156 --> 00:01:08,554
Let's see some hustle, ladies!
18
00:01:11,578 --> 00:01:14,060
Thanks for helping
me with that guy, dad.
19
00:01:14,061 --> 00:01:16,542
Eh, it was nothing.
Those rich guys are soft.
20
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:19,378
But you don't want to try that shit
downtown. That's how you lose an ear.
21
00:01:19,461 --> 00:01:20,838
Kevin, hurry it up!
22
00:01:20,921 --> 00:01:24,466
Christ, you go any slower, it'll be time
to deliver tomorrow's paper.
23
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:26,051
Hang on!
24
00:01:26,885 --> 00:01:29,847
- Chopper's leaving!
- Son of a bitch!
25
00:01:31,140 --> 00:01:32,349
Wait up!
26
00:01:32,933 --> 00:01:35,894
Why can't you slow down?
I'm an artist, not an athlete.
27
00:01:35,978 --> 00:01:38,063
Well, then,
find a creative way to keep up.
28
00:01:38,147 --> 00:01:39,439
Ow!
29
00:01:39,523 --> 00:01:42,442
Why do I have to do this anyway?
It's not my stupid route.
30
00:01:42,526 --> 00:01:45,612
Because I'm trying to instill
a work ethic in you.
31
00:01:45,696 --> 00:01:47,823
You should be more like
your little brother.
32
00:01:47,906 --> 00:01:50,159
If every kid was like him,
I would've had seven.
33
00:01:50,242 --> 00:01:52,327
He's contributing to the family.
34
00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:54,455
'Cause his head isn't
in the clouds. He's got...
35
00:01:54,538 --> 00:01:56,498
Shut the fuck up!
My song's coming on!
36
00:01:56,499 --> 00:02:01,211
Time for the KWOCK 109.5...
# Weather! #
37
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:04,047
Yes! Immortality!
38
00:02:04,131 --> 00:02:06,258
You're gonna feel
mortal when you're living
39
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,385
on a park bench, fighting off squirrels.
40
00:02:08,469 --> 00:02:11,054
Playing music is a hobby, not a job.
41
00:02:11,763 --> 00:02:14,933
You're so dense.
You just don't get it.
42
00:02:15,434 --> 00:02:17,436
Ow! My brain!
43
00:02:17,519 --> 00:02:19,682
Guess I can't drive because I'm dense.
44
00:02:19,897 --> 00:02:21,857
Dad!
45
00:02:23,066 --> 00:02:24,526
Holy shit!
46
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:29,698
- Kevin? Are you all right?
- I just met Jimi Hendrix.
47
00:02:29,781 --> 00:02:32,034
He told me to return to you mortals.
48
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:35,496
Oh, you mean that drug addict
who fucked up the national anthem?
49
00:02:35,579 --> 00:02:37,080
Maybe he can drive you home.
50
00:02:38,123 --> 00:02:40,918
Come on, Dad!
Stop it! Ah!
51
00:02:50,928 --> 00:02:53,972
♪ Come and get your love ♪
52
00:02:56,150 --> 00:02:59,394
♪ Come and get your love ♪
53
00:03:00,521 --> 00:03:01,939
♪ Come and get your love ♪
54
00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:07,277
♪ Come and get your love ♪
55
00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:10,656
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
56
00:03:10,739 --> 00:03:12,241
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
57
00:03:13,617 --> 00:03:15,369
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
58
00:03:15,452 --> 00:03:16,662
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
59
00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:19,498
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
60
00:03:19,581 --> 00:03:21,375
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
61
00:03:22,584 --> 00:03:24,127
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪
62
00:03:24,211 --> 00:03:25,671
♪ Come and get your love now ♪
63
00:03:26,255 --> 00:03:28,723
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
64
00:03:29,049 --> 00:03:34,179
Okay.
One, two, three.
65
00:03:36,557 --> 00:03:39,851
This old tub is just what I need
for my invention.
66
00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:42,368
Thanks for your help, boys.
You can run along home.
67
00:03:42,403 --> 00:03:44,189
I'm sure your parents are
wondering where you are.
68
00:03:44,273 --> 00:03:46,817
Nah. The blue man with the gun, he came
69
00:03:46,818 --> 00:03:50,969
- and took them to the people zoo.
- Granny's with us now.
70
00:03:51,004 --> 00:03:54,157
But she's taking
a nap at the bottom of the staircase.
71
00:03:55,075 --> 00:03:57,619
Uh-oh, Maureen,
your mean old grandpa's home!
72
00:03:57,703 --> 00:03:58,912
He don't like us!
73
00:03:58,996 --> 00:04:01,832
Get out of here, you toothless monkeys!
74
00:04:01,915 --> 00:04:04,001
- Got to get out!
- Get out!
75
00:04:04,084 --> 00:04:06,753
Mom, I got enough money
for my hockey stick!
76
00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:08,005
That's great, honey!
77
00:04:08,088 --> 00:04:10,424
Yeah, because now you'll finally
shut up about it!
78
00:04:10,507 --> 00:04:11,383
You shut up!
79
00:04:11,466 --> 00:04:14,733
Well, if it isn't guitar god Kevin Murphy!
80
00:04:14,768 --> 00:04:17,139
Hey, Vic.
You put your lizard on a leash?
81
00:04:17,222 --> 00:04:19,016
That's so cool.
82
00:04:19,099 --> 00:04:22,311
It's only fair.
This one's got my lizard on a leash.
83
00:04:22,394 --> 00:04:25,147
- Hey, come on now.
- Oh!
84
00:04:28,275 --> 00:04:31,236
Oh, for Christ's sake, Vic,
even God rested on Sunday.
85
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,322
Let's go in. Eyes front.
86
00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:37,409
I got your flyer, Kevin!
Congratu-lotto on the gig tomorrow!
87
00:04:37,492 --> 00:04:39,077
- Thanks, Vic!
- Don't forget old Vic
88
00:04:39,161 --> 00:04:40,996
when you're playing concerts on the Moon!
89
00:04:41,079 --> 00:04:42,623
I won't!
90
00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:49,296
Hey, your thing looks good.
Your... salad killer?
91
00:04:49,379 --> 00:04:51,840
Salad tosser.
I'm pitching it tomorrow.
92
00:04:51,923 --> 00:04:54,238
I'm taking a risk,
but if they go for it,
93
00:04:54,239 --> 00:04:56,553
this could be a really big deal for me.
94
00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:59,514
The real thing will be smaller,
but I'll use this prototype
95
00:04:59,515 --> 00:05:02,392
to demonstrate how centrifugal
force can spin lettuce dry.
96
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:03,602
What the hell?
97
00:05:03,685 --> 00:05:05,896
- I relly think it could revolutionize...
- Did you see this?!
98
00:05:05,979 --> 00:05:08,398
Yeah. Isn't it nice?
Kevin made it himself.
99
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,817
He's playing a show on a school night?
100
00:05:10,901 --> 00:05:13,737
With his grades?
"Paradise Pavilion?"
101
00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:15,405
Sounds like a Korean whore house!
102
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,866
Frank, calm down.
It's just one show.
103
00:05:17,949 --> 00:05:20,952
They only have two songs.
It'll be 20 minutes.
104
00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:23,580
Followed by a lifetime
of standing in a bread line.
105
00:05:23,664 --> 00:05:25,165
It's that fucking Vic's fault.
106
00:05:25,248 --> 00:05:27,793
If he hadn't put his song on the radio,
none of this would've happened.
107
00:05:27,876 --> 00:05:28,877
You know Kevin.
108
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,839
If you yell at him about this,
it will only make him want to do it more.
109
00:05:32,923 --> 00:05:35,002
Oh, I'm not gonna yell at Kevin.
110
00:05:36,218 --> 00:05:38,762
Fucking guy.
I'll teach him a thing or two.
111
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,598
- Hello.
- Oh, hello.
112
00:05:41,681 --> 00:05:43,350
Is Vic... Vic around?
113
00:05:43,433 --> 00:05:46,395
He's, um... he's busy right now.
114
00:05:46,478 --> 00:05:48,105
Come on in, Frank!
115
00:05:48,188 --> 00:05:49,898
I'll be with you in a minute.
116
00:05:49,981 --> 00:05:53,568
I'm drowning a brown clown down
in splash town!
117
00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,614
Make yourself at home.
118
00:05:58,281 --> 00:06:00,367
Okay. Thank you.
119
00:06:00,742 --> 00:06:02,077
Eh...
120
00:06:05,205 --> 00:06:07,040
What the hell?
121
00:06:09,918 --> 00:06:11,336
Whoa!
122
00:06:12,629 --> 00:06:14,631
It's a Swedish water couch.
123
00:06:14,714 --> 00:06:18,093
The prime minister of some country
made it for Vic.
124
00:06:18,176 --> 00:06:20,137
Of course he did.
125
00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:21,680
Frank-o American-o!
126
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:24,975
Cutie Pie, remind me, did I drink
another bottle of ketchup last night
127
00:06:25,058 --> 00:06:26,601
or do I need to go to the hospital?
128
00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:28,895
Would you go up to the bathroom
and take a look for me?
129
00:06:28,979 --> 00:06:30,605
Again?
130
00:06:30,689 --> 00:06:33,608
Ain't she something, Frank?
I think she's the one.
131
00:06:33,692 --> 00:06:36,611
She makes me think about
getting a car with four doors
132
00:06:36,695 --> 00:06:40,991
and filling it up with little ones,
using spoons for cereal.
133
00:06:41,074 --> 00:06:43,493
You know, settling down.
134
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:44,578
Congratulations.
135
00:06:44,661 --> 00:06:46,872
I want to talk to you about
all this encouragement
136
00:06:46,955 --> 00:06:48,415
you've been giving Kevin lately.
137
00:06:48,498 --> 00:06:50,375
He's a good kid, Frank.
138
00:06:50,459 --> 00:06:54,337
Helping Kevin makes me feel like I'm
making positive contribution to society.
139
00:06:54,421 --> 00:06:56,506
Yeah, well, I need you to knock it off!
140
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:59,593
Why, Frank? I love being a role model.
141
00:07:01,636 --> 00:07:04,556
Our journey to stardom
begins tomorrow, Bolo.
142
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:07,309
So you better get someone
to feed your turtle
143
00:07:07,392 --> 00:07:09,478
'cause we're gonna be on tour for years.
144
00:07:11,313 --> 00:07:14,024
That fucking dick.
145
00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:16,985
Vic, please, you got to stop
encouraging him!
146
00:07:17,068 --> 00:07:20,322
He's neglecting his school work
for a one in a zillion chance!
147
00:07:20,405 --> 00:07:22,449
A man's got to reach for the stars.
148
00:07:22,532 --> 00:07:25,243
Ah! Jesus! Stop reaching!
149
00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:28,872
Not everybody just gets
to waltz through life the way you do!
150
00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:31,958
Kevin is failing every subject
in school right now!
151
00:07:32,042 --> 00:07:34,044
That's happened to many great musicians.
152
00:07:34,127 --> 00:07:36,630
He's failing music!
153
00:07:36,713 --> 00:07:38,548
Please, just leave my son alone
154
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:41,885
and stop filling his head full of dreams
that'll never come true!
155
00:07:41,968 --> 00:07:43,762
Thanks for believing in me, Dad!
156
00:07:43,845 --> 00:07:45,847
Oh, I only want what's best for you.
157
00:07:45,931 --> 00:07:47,641
You gotta be realistic, Kevin.
158
00:07:47,724 --> 00:07:48,934
How many stars are there?
159
00:07:49,017 --> 00:07:51,978
- Billions!
- Not in the sky, you dope!
160
00:07:52,062 --> 00:07:53,396
In the neighborhood!
161
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,398
You got to be realistic, son.
162
00:07:55,482 --> 00:07:58,527
Face it, no matter how hard you try,
the odds are against you.
163
00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:00,695
You're never gonna be a pilot...
164
00:08:00,779 --> 00:08:02,030
Shit. Rock star!
165
00:08:02,113 --> 00:08:04,157
Fuck off, old man!
166
00:08:04,241 --> 00:08:07,702
Watch your mouth.
I forbid you from doing that show!
167
00:08:07,786 --> 00:08:09,329
- What?!
- You heard me.
168
00:08:09,412 --> 00:08:12,624
As long as you live under my house,
you will follow my rules.
169
00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:13,667
I hate you!
170
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,043
I wish I was never born!
171
00:08:15,126 --> 00:08:17,045
We finally agree on something!
172
00:08:17,128 --> 00:08:20,298
You're just killing my dream
'cause you never got to do yours!
173
00:08:20,382 --> 00:08:21,925
And whose fault was that?!
174
00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:23,134
I will never...
175
00:08:23,969 --> 00:08:27,472
ever give you backstage passes!
176
00:08:33,061 --> 00:08:34,771
Agh!
177
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,572
♪ When youth was young... ♪
178
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:53,206
♪ From spring to fall ♪
179
00:08:53,290 --> 00:08:55,625
♪ And now to winter... ♪
180
00:09:10,765 --> 00:09:13,268
♪ It's at an end ♪
181
00:09:13,351 --> 00:09:16,605
♪ It was a pleasure ♪
182
00:09:25,947 --> 00:09:28,283
Can you imagine being a pilot?
183
00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:32,871
Up there all alone,
just you and the clouds. Your own boss.
184
00:09:32,954 --> 00:09:34,372
Oh, it's beautiful.
185
00:09:34,456 --> 00:09:38,585
You know what's beautiful?
This pork shoulder sandwich.
186
00:09:38,668 --> 00:09:41,546
Wow, I wish I could eat like you, Pogo.
Where does it all go?
187
00:09:41,630 --> 00:09:44,132
I've been blessed with genetics, Frank.
188
00:09:44,215 --> 00:09:46,760
I've got the metabolism of a cheetah.
189
00:09:48,094 --> 00:09:50,138
You're lucky, Pogo.
190
00:09:50,221 --> 00:09:52,265
I got to work like hell
to keep the pounds off.
191
00:09:52,349 --> 00:09:53,350
Sue likes me skinny.
192
00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:56,227
I'm gonna give her this locket tonight.
193
00:09:56,311 --> 00:09:58,146
It's the anniversary of our first date.
194
00:09:58,229 --> 00:10:00,106
That's nice.
195
00:10:01,107 --> 00:10:03,735
That thing must have cost you a fortune.
196
00:10:03,818 --> 00:10:05,320
I worked like hell to save for it.
197
00:10:05,403 --> 00:10:07,739
Air National Guard, here on the weekends.
198
00:10:07,822 --> 00:10:09,783
It'll all be worth it when I'm a pilot.
199
00:10:09,866 --> 00:10:11,952
Then me and Sue will have it all.
200
00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:19,960
My old man thinks I'm a fool
to want to be a pilot.
201
00:10:20,043 --> 00:10:21,628
He's such a dick!
202
00:10:21,711 --> 00:10:23,463
What's your dream, Bob?
203
00:10:23,546 --> 00:10:27,425
My dream is to someday have
a desk to call my own.
204
00:10:27,509 --> 00:10:29,970
With a chair with wheels on it.
205
00:10:30,053 --> 00:10:34,391
I swear, if I ever get an office job,
I'll never leave that desk.
206
00:10:34,474 --> 00:10:35,976
Never ever.
207
00:10:36,643 --> 00:10:39,771
Bob, I think you're gonna be
a big man around here someday.
208
00:10:39,854 --> 00:10:44,067
And you'll be in one of those planes
getting ready to take off.
209
00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:45,694
You can take off now, Frank.
210
00:10:46,528 --> 00:10:49,572
You put in a good 12 hours
of back-to-back snack jacking.
211
00:10:49,656 --> 00:10:51,825
Thanks, Smokey. I love this job.
212
00:10:51,908 --> 00:10:54,285
And I'll take every extra shift
I can get my hands on.
213
00:10:54,369 --> 00:10:56,663
You want it? You got it.
214
00:10:56,746 --> 00:10:57,998
You know something?
215
00:10:58,081 --> 00:11:00,166
You remind me of my son.
216
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:04,004
He came out albino, so we shunned him.
217
00:11:04,087 --> 00:11:06,548
Sold him off to the circus.
218
00:11:06,631 --> 00:11:08,842
We didn't know no better!
219
00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:12,929
That's what you did back then! Oh, God!
220
00:11:13,012 --> 00:11:15,223
Being a father is about
making tough decisions.
221
00:11:15,306 --> 00:11:19,519
To this day, I never spent that 75 bucks
222
00:11:19,602 --> 00:11:23,022
that ringmaster gave me,
in case he came back.
223
00:11:23,982 --> 00:11:27,902
Tell me, Frank Murphy, is your name Larry?
224
00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:29,154
Huh?
225
00:11:29,237 --> 00:11:33,408
Is your name Larry, Frank Murphy?
Tell me your name is Larry!
226
00:11:33,491 --> 00:11:34,909
Smokey, I wish it was.
227
00:11:38,288 --> 00:11:40,832
All right, Frank. You go on home now.
228
00:11:41,708 --> 00:11:46,963
And hug them normal-skinned kids tight!
229
00:11:49,174 --> 00:11:52,927
That was "Nodding Off"
by the Heavy Lids.
230
00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:56,034
It's 5:53 a.m.
and you're listening
231
00:11:56,035 --> 00:12:01,352
to Warm Milk with Warren
on W.E.E.Z.E.: "The Wheeze".
232
00:12:01,436 --> 00:12:03,605
Shit!
233
00:12:03,688 --> 00:12:04,773
Hey, Dad!
234
00:12:04,856 --> 00:12:07,817
Hey, son!
You're making me proud!
235
00:12:10,779 --> 00:12:13,364
♪ I am a rock god! ♪
236
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,075
Hit the books!
237
00:12:18,578 --> 00:12:22,177
♪ And you're a fucking dildo ♪
238
00:12:29,589 --> 00:12:31,591
Oh, shit.
239
00:12:31,674 --> 00:12:33,551
Good morning to you too.
240
00:12:34,427 --> 00:12:36,137
- Today's your big pitch, huh?
- Yep.
241
00:12:36,221 --> 00:12:39,557
I rehearsed it all night in the mirror
and I think I've got it down.
242
00:12:39,641 --> 00:12:43,478
I'm gonna bide my time,
wait for the perfect moment, and then...
243
00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:46,815
Oh...
244
00:12:47,899 --> 00:12:49,400
Thanks for listening.
245
00:12:50,652 --> 00:12:52,403
Love you, Frank.
246
00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:54,489
I love you too, Smokey.
247
00:12:59,202 --> 00:13:02,163
Let's get to that store before
all the Jacques Dupuis sticks are gone!
248
00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:05,083
I can't wait to use that baby in tryouts.
249
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:08,378
And I'll cheer you on
safely behind the glass.
250
00:13:08,461 --> 00:13:13,299
Oh, look! It's Billy bitch-tits
and his Pumpkin-headed pussy.
251
00:13:13,383 --> 00:13:15,051
My name's Phillip.
252
00:13:15,134 --> 00:13:17,554
Leave us alone, you monkey-eared asshole!
253
00:13:17,637 --> 00:13:20,265
Oh, now you asked for it, queef machine.
254
00:13:21,266 --> 00:13:23,810
Ow! Ow!
255
00:13:24,394 --> 00:13:26,062
Quit it! Stop!
256
00:13:26,145 --> 00:13:27,939
- Phillip!
- The king will slap his subject.
257
00:13:28,022 --> 00:13:29,566
Ow! Ow!
258
00:13:29,649 --> 00:13:32,235
Well, what have we here?
259
00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:35,238
Hey, that's mine! I earned it!
260
00:13:35,321 --> 00:13:37,532
And his lordship will take it from you!
261
00:13:37,615 --> 00:13:39,701
Leave him alone or I will fucking eat you!
262
00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:43,997
Oh, man! Oh, man!
Oh, man!
263
00:13:45,748 --> 00:13:48,501
- You okay, Red?
- Yeah.
264
00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,545
Why the fuck didn't you help him?
265
00:13:50,628 --> 00:13:53,381
Mother says, "Violence begets violence."
266
00:13:53,464 --> 00:13:55,425
Your mother's an asshole.
267
00:13:55,508 --> 00:13:58,303
Don't ever let me catch you
doing that shit again.
268
00:13:58,386 --> 00:13:59,637
Thanks, Randy.
269
00:13:59,721 --> 00:14:01,306
Anything for you, kid.
270
00:14:01,389 --> 00:14:02,974
Us newsies gotta stick together.
271
00:14:03,057 --> 00:14:06,853
There's always a Jehovah's Witness
around the corner, looking to fuck you up.
272
00:14:06,936 --> 00:14:10,148
Could I borrow ten dollars from you
until next collection day?
273
00:14:10,231 --> 00:14:13,818
What, so that fucking lesbian
can take it from you again?
274
00:14:13,902 --> 00:14:17,739
But I need to get this hockey stick.
Tryouts are tomorrow.
275
00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:19,532
Not my problem, Red.
276
00:14:19,616 --> 00:14:20,950
It's a dog-eat-dog world.
277
00:14:22,577 --> 00:14:24,162
So, you better start eating!
278
00:14:28,124 --> 00:14:30,376
What the fuck does that mean?
279
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:35,340
Usually, when you put butter on a muffin,
280
00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:37,717
it runs off the sides
and gets on the table.
281
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,637
But with
the "Triple Tiered Muffin Holder,"
282
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,099
the butter simply drips down onto
the next level of muffins and beyond.
283
00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:48,978
It's like a champagne tree,
except for butter!
284
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,397
Why don't you cut the muffin in half
like everyone else?
285
00:14:51,481 --> 00:14:54,192
Why don't you go fuck yourself?
286
00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:57,111
Well, we certainly
didn't save the best for last.
287
00:14:57,195 --> 00:15:01,241
I'm gonna go see which of my guns
fits best in my mouth.
288
00:15:01,324 --> 00:15:02,367
Excuse me, Tracy.
289
00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:06,913
I know I'm just the secretary, but...
I have an idea I'd like to pitch.
290
00:15:06,996 --> 00:15:08,957
I'd like to pitch her idea.
291
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,168
I'm curious, Gene, do you use that mouth
when you kiss another man's penis?
292
00:15:12,252 --> 00:15:13,753
Yeah!
293
00:15:13,836 --> 00:15:15,421
You sure got me!
294
00:15:15,505 --> 00:15:18,383
That's what your wife says
when the postman puts it in her hiney.
295
00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:23,763
I'm gonna call you Heart Disease
because you're killing me!
296
00:15:23,846 --> 00:15:25,681
Yeah!
297
00:15:27,934 --> 00:15:30,103
Go ahead, Sue. Wow us.
298
00:15:30,186 --> 00:15:34,399
Every day, housewives deal
with the problem of soggy lettuce.
299
00:15:34,482 --> 00:15:39,779
It can make any salad a gushy,
sopping, dripping, wet mess.
300
00:15:42,949 --> 00:15:46,744
What, am I that predictable?
She's got me hooked.
301
00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:50,790
So... I came up with
The Salad Tosser.
302
00:15:59,257 --> 00:16:00,591
Dad?
303
00:16:02,176 --> 00:16:03,886
Dad.
304
00:16:05,346 --> 00:16:07,682
Can you make me dinner?
It's 5:00.
305
00:16:07,765 --> 00:16:09,142
Shit!
306
00:16:13,771 --> 00:16:16,357
Daddy, can we go out
and get ice cream for supper?
307
00:16:16,441 --> 00:16:17,775
No. Daddy's got to go to work soon.
308
00:16:17,859 --> 00:16:20,028
You want ice cream,
go to your friend's house and look sad.
309
00:16:21,362 --> 00:16:24,073
That's the face.
You might get two scoops with that mug.
310
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:27,535
Prisoner 3471,
reporting for solitary confinement.
311
00:16:27,618 --> 00:16:30,705
- Guilty of the crime of dreaming!
- Don't spoil your dinner.
312
00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:33,583
You're not the boss of my stomach!
My mouth is!
313
00:16:34,584 --> 00:16:35,710
Dick!
314
00:16:36,419 --> 00:16:37,754
Everything okay, Daddy?
315
00:16:37,837 --> 00:16:40,423
Princess, when you grow up,
you can be anything you want.
316
00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:43,051
Just not Kevin.
317
00:16:43,134 --> 00:16:44,427
Or a golfer.
318
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:51,434
How much of your money did Jimmy take?
319
00:16:51,517 --> 00:16:53,686
I only have eleven dollars left.
320
00:16:53,770 --> 00:16:55,563
Now I have to buy a cheaper stick.
321
00:16:56,981 --> 00:16:59,067
What the hell?! The price went up!
322
00:16:59,150 --> 00:17:01,486
And I can't even afford
the shitty one now.
323
00:17:01,569 --> 00:17:03,654
Maybe it's a clerical error.
324
00:17:03,738 --> 00:17:04,739
No mistake.
325
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:06,407
That's inflation for you.
326
00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:08,326
I really need that stick, sir.
327
00:17:08,409 --> 00:17:09,869
Tryouts are tomorrow.
328
00:17:09,952 --> 00:17:13,623
I had the money.
I worked hard for it, but I got mugged.
329
00:17:13,706 --> 00:17:16,918
And I lost a leg between a station wagon
and a Dumpster,
330
00:17:17,001 --> 00:17:19,879
and they gave me an artificial leg made
for a woman.
331
00:17:19,962 --> 00:17:22,382
But you don't hear me complaining
about it.
332
00:17:22,465 --> 00:17:25,843
Well, you seem to be voicing displeasure.
333
00:17:25,927 --> 00:17:27,220
Please, sir!
334
00:17:28,179 --> 00:17:29,597
Are you crying?
335
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,683
Well, maybe you should go out
for field hockey, you little pussy!
336
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:37,105
Fuck this! I earned it.
337
00:17:37,188 --> 00:17:40,525
Phillip, ask that guy to show you
something in the back of the store.
338
00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:42,485
I'm taking that stick.
339
00:17:42,568 --> 00:17:44,320
But that's against the law.
340
00:17:44,404 --> 00:17:45,613
Do it.
341
00:17:45,696 --> 00:17:47,198
Okay.
342
00:17:50,326 --> 00:17:55,331
Excuse me. Could you show me
where a man could find a shuttlecock?
343
00:17:56,082 --> 00:17:57,875
Huh. That figures.
344
00:18:18,938 --> 00:18:21,482
- Where do you think you're going?
- Ah!
345
00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:24,110
He saw through my charade!
346
00:18:24,193 --> 00:18:26,779
You're in a lot of trouble, bucko.
347
00:18:26,863 --> 00:18:29,282
Please don't call my parents.
348
00:18:29,365 --> 00:18:32,618
That's exactly what I'm gonna do,
you little degenerate.
349
00:18:32,702 --> 00:18:33,703
What's your name?
350
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,207
Out with it! What's your name?
351
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,877
Jimmy.
Jimmy Fitzsimmons.
352
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:42,795
Well, Jimmy Fitzsimmons,
353
00:18:42,879 --> 00:18:46,424
that's the first honest thing
you've done all day, you little mick.
354
00:18:46,507 --> 00:18:49,469
What's your phone number, Jimmy...
355
00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:53,473
Holy shit, Phillip!
Why did you do that?
356
00:18:53,556 --> 00:18:57,143
- I don't want Randy to eat me!
- Let's get out of here!
357
00:19:04,609 --> 00:19:05,776
Oh, my God.
358
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:09,363
Holy shit.
I told him I was Jimmy.
359
00:19:09,447 --> 00:19:12,450
When he finds out, I'm so dead.
360
00:19:12,533 --> 00:19:15,411
- I got your name, Fitzsimmons!
- Ah!
361
00:19:18,706 --> 00:19:22,210
So, thanks to centrifugal force,
362
00:19:22,293 --> 00:19:24,837
your wife will never have
soggy lettuce again.
363
00:19:24,921 --> 00:19:28,257
You can "leaf" the drying
to The Salad Tosser.
364
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,425
Thank you.
365
00:19:29,509 --> 00:19:32,345
Huh.
Interesting, Sue.
366
00:19:32,428 --> 00:19:34,305
Drying lettuce.
367
00:19:34,388 --> 00:19:35,932
Could be a whole new market.
Does it work?
368
00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:39,852
Yes! And I built a prototype.
I-I have it here.
369
00:19:39,936 --> 00:19:43,105
May I present the handy-dandy,
370
00:19:43,189 --> 00:19:46,817
easy to use, housewife's best friend...
371
00:19:48,069 --> 00:19:49,654
The Salad Tosser!
372
00:19:51,405 --> 00:19:53,449
Uh...
373
00:19:53,533 --> 00:19:55,660
It's a tad big, don't you think?
374
00:19:56,369 --> 00:20:00,206
Well, obviously, the finished
product would be much smaller.
375
00:20:00,289 --> 00:20:04,377
It looks like a washing machine
on a Lazy Susan.
376
00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:07,171
Well, yes, that's what the prototype is,
but it...
377
00:20:07,255 --> 00:20:10,466
- It's not even made of plastic.
- Again, it's a prototype.
378
00:20:10,550 --> 00:20:13,094
Look, let me demonstrate.
379
00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:16,931
I don't want to have to ride
a bike every time I make a salad.
380
00:20:17,014 --> 00:20:18,599
It's a prototype!
381
00:20:18,683 --> 00:20:20,601
See, like a washing machine...
382
00:20:20,685 --> 00:20:22,144
- Ah, my tie!
- What the fuck?
383
00:20:22,228 --> 00:20:23,187
Jesus!
384
00:20:23,271 --> 00:20:27,316
- Lazy Susan? More like Crazy Susan!
- Crazy Susan!
385
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,443
What a piece of shit!
386
00:20:29,527 --> 00:20:31,946
I don't want to laugh in your face.
Turn around!
387
00:20:42,081 --> 00:20:44,041
- Where the hell have you been?
- Nowhere!
388
00:20:44,125 --> 00:20:45,710
What? Dinner's ready.
389
00:20:45,793 --> 00:20:49,088
- Oh, okay.
- Hey. What do you got there?
390
00:20:51,173 --> 00:20:54,343
All right, you bought that stick
you been saving for. Good for you.
391
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:56,887
I'll take you to those tryouts tomorrow.
392
00:20:56,971 --> 00:21:00,057
That thing you feel inside
is called pride.
393
00:21:00,141 --> 00:21:02,518
Every time you pick up that stick,
394
00:21:02,602 --> 00:21:04,937
you'll have that same sense
of accomplishment that only comes
395
00:21:05,021 --> 00:21:07,898
from knowing that you earned it.
396
00:21:07,982 --> 00:21:11,485
I'll be right back. I got to go feed
my prisoner in the dungeon.
397
00:21:17,074 --> 00:21:19,035
Hey, Mozart. It's the warden.
398
00:21:20,077 --> 00:21:22,705
Even though you hate me,
I still want you to eat.
399
00:21:22,788 --> 00:21:24,040
Open the door.
400
00:21:26,375 --> 00:21:29,170
Come on. I got you extra meatballs
for good behavior.
401
00:21:29,253 --> 00:21:32,256
Where are you? Kevin? For Christ's sakes!
402
00:21:32,340 --> 00:21:34,800
Out of the Gulag, into the spotlight!
403
00:21:38,721 --> 00:21:41,599
Get the fuck back here! I forbid you!
404
00:21:41,682 --> 00:21:43,434
My dreams are not forbidable!
405
00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:44,685
You lying little shit!
406
00:21:44,769 --> 00:21:46,395
I learned it from the best!
407
00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:47,521
You come back here!
408
00:21:47,605 --> 00:21:50,733
I'll put you and your smart mouth
through that fucking wall!
409
00:21:51,609 --> 00:21:53,569
Do you know what your son did?
410
00:21:53,653 --> 00:21:55,404
Jesus, Frank.
411
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:58,032
He openly defied my authority
and went to that show.
412
00:21:58,115 --> 00:22:01,118
That's exactly what I said would happen
if you pushed him too much.
413
00:22:01,202 --> 00:22:03,871
Well, we're gonna go right down
to that seedy concert hall
414
00:22:03,954 --> 00:22:06,207
and yank his ass right off that stage!
415
00:22:06,290 --> 00:22:08,167
Frank, I've had a horrible day.
416
00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,087
They shot my proposal down,
thank you for asking,
417
00:22:11,170 --> 00:22:15,007
and now I have to come home to my husband
throwing meatballs at my oldest son
418
00:22:15,091 --> 00:22:18,052
in front of the entire
fucking neighborhood!
419
00:22:18,135 --> 00:22:22,139
Frank Murphy, you go down there
and you get your son.
420
00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:26,602
Aw, you don't tell me what to do!
421
00:22:26,685 --> 00:22:27,978
I'll get him!
422
00:22:31,065 --> 00:22:32,566
There's my only living son.
423
00:22:32,650 --> 00:22:33,692
You stay good, Bill.
424
00:22:33,776 --> 00:22:35,945
I failed your brother,
but you're turning out great.
425
00:22:36,028 --> 00:22:38,572
Oh. Be right back!
426
00:22:38,656 --> 00:22:40,908
Why do they all run from me?
427
00:22:42,868 --> 00:22:44,829
Bill, come back!
428
00:22:52,503 --> 00:22:53,671
What are you doing?
429
00:22:53,754 --> 00:22:55,673
I have to bury this fucking thing!
430
00:22:55,756 --> 00:22:58,592
I stole, Phillip! Jimmy's gonna kill me!
431
00:22:58,676 --> 00:23:00,261
I beat a cripple!
432
00:23:00,344 --> 00:23:02,721
And it made my pee-pee feel good!
433
00:23:04,098 --> 00:23:08,102
St. Leonard, patron saint of criminals,
horses and women in labor,
434
00:23:08,185 --> 00:23:09,687
please hear my prayer.
435
00:23:09,770 --> 00:23:10,855
Save us from...
436
00:23:10,938 --> 00:23:14,316
No, Dad, no!
437
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,652
You thieving little shit!
438
00:23:16,735 --> 00:23:19,655
- Stealing hockey sticks now?
- It wasn't me!
439
00:23:19,738 --> 00:23:21,365
I fashion my own sticks!
440
00:23:21,449 --> 00:23:23,868
Yeah, it's never you!
It's never you!
441
00:23:23,951 --> 00:23:25,828
You told him your name!
442
00:23:25,911 --> 00:23:29,165
Maybe Catholic military school
will finally straighten you out!
443
00:23:29,248 --> 00:23:30,458
No! No! No!
444
00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:33,836
No! No! No!
445
00:23:36,297 --> 00:23:37,882
Poor Jimmy.
446
00:23:39,383 --> 00:23:43,345
Fuck Jimmy. He's gone.
We're free!
447
00:23:44,263 --> 00:23:46,807
Yeah, you think you can escape me
'cause you're wearing a cape?
448
00:23:46,891 --> 00:23:49,852
Is that what you think? You don't know
who you're dealing with! Move it!
449
00:24:02,490 --> 00:24:05,409
We are Merlin's Monocle!
450
00:24:05,493 --> 00:24:09,079
- Who?
- Marlin died!
451
00:24:09,163 --> 00:24:11,332
Oh, Kevin.
452
00:24:11,415 --> 00:24:15,711
- Hey, that's my kid up there.
- She's a real looker.
453
00:24:15,794 --> 00:24:18,130
Thanks for getting us the gig,
Bubbe Esther.
454
00:24:18,214 --> 00:24:19,089
What?
455
00:24:19,173 --> 00:24:22,426
Okay, I guess that's it.
Thank you.
456
00:24:24,386 --> 00:24:27,056
Oh, fuck me.
457
00:24:28,682 --> 00:24:30,100
How much shit am I in?
458
00:24:30,184 --> 00:24:33,179
Well, I was planning on grounding you,
but after seeing the end
459
00:24:33,214 --> 00:24:35,022
of your show, I think you
might've been punished enough.
460
00:24:35,105 --> 00:24:39,193
Nobody came to see us.
And I drew five thousand flyers!
461
00:24:39,276 --> 00:24:40,986
This isn't how I dreamed it would be.
462
00:24:41,070 --> 00:24:42,842
That's why they're called dreams.
463
00:24:42,843 --> 00:24:45,658
- Because they're not real. Right?
- Yeah.
464
00:24:45,741 --> 00:24:48,369
You see now why I'm harping
on you to study in school?
465
00:24:49,245 --> 00:24:53,165
- Why you got to be realistic?
- I guess. You're right.
466
00:24:53,249 --> 00:24:57,836
So, you know, you did your best,
you tried hard and you failed.
467
00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,763
And there's no shame in striking out.
468
00:25:00,631 --> 00:25:03,342
It's a good thing you learned
that music won't get you anywhere now.
469
00:25:03,425 --> 00:25:05,469
There's still time
to turn your life around.
470
00:25:05,553 --> 00:25:07,805
You'll hit the books,
we'll get you a tutor.
471
00:25:07,888 --> 00:25:10,724
We'll even get you those eyeglasses
you keep saying you need.
472
00:25:10,808 --> 00:25:14,895
- And you'll be on your way to...
- Oh, my God, you guys rocked!
473
00:25:14,979 --> 00:25:16,605
- Really?
- Really?
474
00:25:16,689 --> 00:25:19,587
I'm so glad I came to visit my grandpa
475
00:25:19,588 --> 00:25:23,772
- because your show was bitchin'!
- Thanks. We were okay.
476
00:25:23,807 --> 00:25:26,115
I screwed up
the last ten minutes of my solo.
477
00:25:27,741 --> 00:25:31,078
- Uh... Dad, can you...
- Agh...
478
00:25:31,161 --> 00:25:33,581
It's fine.
Go home after this.
479
00:25:33,664 --> 00:25:37,126
- I got to go to work.
- Okay.
480
00:25:37,710 --> 00:25:43,382
Hey, I don't know if you're interested,
but I cut hair at my house.
481
00:25:43,465 --> 00:25:45,843
Want to come over sometime for a haircut?
482
00:25:45,926 --> 00:25:48,721
That'd be cool. Or whatever.
483
00:25:48,804 --> 00:25:50,014
Thank you so much!
484
00:25:50,097 --> 00:25:53,107
- Come over Thursday after school.
- Okay.
485
00:25:54,935 --> 00:25:59,064
- Who's that chick?
- That was Haircut Girl.
486
00:25:59,148 --> 00:26:02,901
- No way.
- She exists!
487
00:26:02,985 --> 00:26:05,779
And my cherry shall be busted!
488
00:26:05,863 --> 00:26:08,240
We have cherries?
489
00:26:08,324 --> 00:26:11,493
- We're famous!
- We got our first groupie!
490
00:26:11,577 --> 00:26:14,288
This is just the beginning, guys!
Nowhere but up from here!
491
00:26:14,371 --> 00:26:16,749
- Oh, yeah!
- All right! Yeah!
492
00:26:23,797 --> 00:26:25,841
Another fucking night.
493
00:26:25,924 --> 00:26:30,638
♪ I like my life
I've lived it all ♪
494
00:26:30,721 --> 00:26:35,434
♪ From spring to fall
And now to winter ♪
495
00:26:35,517 --> 00:26:37,770
♪ I ran a normal race ♪
496
00:26:37,853 --> 00:26:40,522
- Ah, shit!
- # Stood for what I thought #
497
00:26:41,523 --> 00:26:46,195
♪ And then I fought
For love and treasure ♪
498
00:26:46,278 --> 00:26:49,406
♪ And though it's at an end ♪
499
00:26:49,490 --> 00:26:52,242
♪ It's at an end ♪
500
00:26:52,326 --> 00:26:54,787
♪ It was a pleasure ♪
501
00:26:57,706 --> 00:27:02,211
♪ But years ago
When youth was young and mine ♪
502
00:27:02,294 --> 00:27:07,883
♪ My happy, carefree days
They flowed like vintage wine ♪
503
00:27:07,967 --> 00:27:10,135
♪ My golden oyster ♪
504
00:27:10,219 --> 00:27:13,305
♪ It was all the world ♪
505
00:27:13,389 --> 00:27:17,476
♪ And me, I shucked it for its pearls ♪
506
00:27:18,477 --> 00:27:21,477
sync & correction by f1nc0
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