1
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,108
Uh. Okay, no bullshit.

2
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:30,323
That was the last time I'm doing blow.

3
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,989
Mr. Reynolds? Are you okay?

4
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:39,712
Hey, pal. Wow, that was
some party I had last night.

5
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,209
Your party was a week and a half ago.

6
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,009
Whoa.

7
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:49,884
It's Monday the 16th?
Oh, shit, I traveled forward in time, man.

8
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:53,046
This day was important to me, I... I think.

9
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:56,096
You go back to work
at the radio station today.

10
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:59,431
Well, that's right.
You really know the news.

11
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:01,977
It's written all over your house.

12
00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:08,901
I got to get me a memo pad.

13
00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:12,195
I better give little Vic a business scrub
and get to the Kwock.

14
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,370
You owe me for last week's papers!

15
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:17,789
Take a gold record.
Bobby Sherman or worse!

16
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:31,051
♪ Come and get your love ♪

17
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,756
♪ Come and get your love ♪

18
00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:39,929
♪ Come and get your love ♪

19
00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,395
♪ Come and get your love ♪

20
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:47,774
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪

21
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,317
♪ Come and get your love now ♪

22
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:52,572
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪

23
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:53,912
♪ Come and get your love now ♪

24
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:55,198
Ah!

25
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,201
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪

26
00:01:57,225 --> 00:01:58,975
♪ Come and get your love now ♪

27
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,581
♪ Come and get your love
Come and get your love ♪

28
00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:02,985
♪ Come and get your love now ♪

29
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:11,756
Oh, look. Aw, it's the pj's Bill
was wearing when he took his first steps.

30
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,050
Oh, and it's still got the blood stain
from where he hit his tiny little head

31
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,845
on the corner of that glass table.

32
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,561
I'm so glad I decided
to get this room together today.

33
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,981
I know I've been feeling down
about the baby,

34
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,480
but seeing the kids' old stuff

35
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:28,362
is already getting me excited
about this next chapter.

36
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,649
Ah, luckily, I never donated these
to the flood victims.

37
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:34,534
You see? You can care too much, Sue.

38
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,282
I should break my promises more often.

39
00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,584
You also promised you'd finish this room.

40
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,914
Don't you worry, I'll finish the room.
Just got to put that wall up.

41
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,998
Put a window in,
wire it, paint, wallpaper,

42
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:49,603
and then tear it down
because I forgot to put the insulation in,

43
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,589
blame it on Kevin,
and do it all over again.

44
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,636
Ah, damn it. Major! Squirrel!

45
00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,009
Go get the squirrel! Go get the squirrel!

46
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,184
That dumb dog will believe anything.

47
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,688
This book has it all,

48
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:11,149
short people, tall people, beards.
It's endless.

49
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:14,692
Ew. Why is this
the fourth-grade play? Ugh.

50
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,857
This seems more like fifth-grade material.

51
00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:18,776
Ah, what will the stork bring us?

52
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:22,035
Another princess
or the son I always wanted?

53
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,198
- It could be twins.
- You shut your mouth!

54
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,576
Dad, I think there's
something wrong with Vic.

55
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:30,625
He's trash, Bill.
Okay, paddy wagon's leaving!

56
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:36,627
Ah, Christ, it's your first
hockey practice today, isn't it?

57
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,716
I'll duck out of work early to help coach.

58
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,891
You don't have to.

59
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,890
You only volunteered
because you hate Grandpa.

60
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:47,272
I volunteered because I wanted to.
I can hate Grandpa and love you.

61
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:51,152
I just need a ride.
You don't have to be there. God!

62
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,321
Look, I said I'd do it, and I meant it!
I'll be there!

63
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,150
Frank Murphy's a man of his word!

64
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,236
You told Mom you'd watch me in the pool.

65
00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:02,081
For the one-hundredth time, I was drunk.

66
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:05,828
So you can't help Mrs. Breckman
at my play auditions like you promised?

67
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,002
Oh, Christ, is that today too?

68
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,632
I promise I'll come
to whatever it is you're doing next time.

69
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,839
You like Bill better than me.

70
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,380
Don't you ever say that!

71
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:19,013
I'm doing Bill's thing because he's
this close to turning into another Kevin.

72
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,722
There can be only one Kevin Murphy.

73
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,683
That's a chance I am not willing to take.

74
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,523
Are we going or not?

75
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,348
Ah, I should've got my nuts snipped.

76
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,733
- Hey, Grandpa.
- Grandpa!

77
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,058
Ho, there are my little acorns!

78
00:04:31,145 --> 00:04:32,305
Aw, shit.

79
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,357
Got back from Cleveland last night.

80
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,240
I bought you a puzzle. Lake Erie Sunrise.

81
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:39,698
It's all black,
so it should be hard to do.

82
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,109
- Yeah!
- I love puzzles!

83
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:44,907
You can make goo-goo eyes
at the king of amnesia later. Let's go!

84
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,333
You got hockey today, Billy?
I'll come watch.

85
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,582
- Great!
- No-ho-ho, you won't.

86
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:52,214
The last thing he needs is you
heckling and laughing at him.

87
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,802
Now, why would I do that
to such a sweet, innocent child?

88
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:59,758
I have been asking myself that question
for the last 30 years.

89
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:02,051
Well, you're always harassing us, Dad.

90
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,435
Oh, I do not!

91
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:07,061
Christ, I'm molding your undeveloped
minds, you fucking ingrates!

92
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,478
Here is what's gonna happen today.

93
00:05:09,559 --> 00:05:12,559
I'll pick you up after school
and coach you at practice.

94
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,975
Then I'll take you home
after your auditions.

95
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:17,984
Then I'll probably have to bail you out
of jail for getting your arm stuck

96
00:05:18,008 --> 00:05:20,950
in a gumball machine
you're trying to rob, you fucking moron,

97
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,159
because that is what a good father does!

98
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,833
So emotional. Just like his mother.

99
00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:32,332
- Stop reading!
- Oh! Dick!

100
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,090
It's a modern wonder
that your cow survived

101
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,169
having her larynx torn out by a monkey.

102
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:42,054
She's my little miracle.
Isn't that right, Heidi?

103
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,845
Oh, I love a happy ending.

104
00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,888
One box down. Let's see what's next.

105
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,454
Harold dumped me.

106
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:09,289
And after I let him
into my Mickey Blouse Club.

107
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,869
I thought he was the one.

108
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:16,496
Oh, Gert, forget Harold.

109
00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:19,804
You're too young to get tied down anyway.
You have your law studies.

110
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,299
I don't care about law!

111
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:28,353
I just want a man to grab me
and throw me around like I'm nothing.

112
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,929
Nobody determines your self-worth but you.
You're smart. You're beautiful.

113
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:33,386
You're talented.

114
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,944
You're confused...

115
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,225
but you and I are Sigmas,

116
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,896
and that means
we're gonna do great things,

117
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:44,605
and no man can stop...

118
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,275
Oh, Frank's here!

119
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,849
Hey, Alice, thanks a lot.
That was a great book.

120
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:11,218
My favorite part was
that they didn't wear shoes.

121
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:13,215
Wow, you read it all in a week?

122
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,477
Did I do it wrong?

123
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:17,939
No, I'm really impressed.
That's a hard book.

124
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,020
I knew you were just being humble
when you said you were dumb.

125
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,687
Yeah, I should stop bragging about that.

126
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,736
Well, have a great day.

127
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:32,083
Hey, stay on your path.
Your ring awaits you.

128
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,250
And I hope
you kill a bunch of orcs.

129
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:42,551
You know, for all the trouble this thing
has been, it'd be a real letdown

130
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,878
if nobody tries to bring a gun on a plane.

131
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,174
Let's fire her up!

132
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,969
I don't think it's supposed to do that.
Anyone else itchy?

133
00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:58,558
Hey, Frank, mind if I try out a couple
of ideas for my campaign speech

134
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,844
at The Sons of the Daughters
of the American Revolution?

135
00:08:00,868 --> 00:08:03,288
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Great, great.
This can't be right.

136
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:05,744
I want to talk about issues that unite us.

137
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,738
Better trash pickup,
shutting off the fire hydrants,

138
00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:12,911
rebuilding the rec center we burned down
after the Rustys lost that playoff game.

139
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,997
Investigating how Frank Murphy
got his wife pregnant

140
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,209
with that shamrock-potato-famine
baby dick.

141
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,790
Mm-hmm, good. Good stuff.

142
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:24,915
You're not listening to me!
I'm trying to do something important here.

143
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,424
You're right. You're right.
I'm sorry, Rosie.

144
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,967
It's just... I am really
under the gun today.

145
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,722
I've got to do
all my paperwork and Pogo's.

146
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,354
And I got to leave at 2:30
to coach my kid's hockey team

147
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,602
that I volunteered for like a moron.

148
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,444
Meanwhile, I got to make sure
Huey and Dewey over here

149
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,361
don't burn the airport down trying
to put in that fucking X-ray machine.

150
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:48,028
Hey, listen, my braces
are picking up the police scanner.

151
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,320
Go ahead, grab it. The safety's on.

152
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:53,028
I understand, Frank.

153
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,235
I'm just trying to be the first black man
to represent my district

154
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:59,747
since my people were
metaphorically freed from slavery.

155
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,460
I had no idea you were carrying the burden

156
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,052
of having to take your white children
to extracurricular activities.

157
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:07,428
Ah, thanks, pal.

158
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,046
I'll let you slide this time, Frank.

159
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,393
Plus, things should get easier for you.

160
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,309
Pogo's coming back
from his heart attack today.

161
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,966
Oh, my God, do you mean it?

162
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,616
Wally in the control tower just radioed

163
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,391
that he saw Pogo's car turning off
Lindbergh Baby Boulevard.

164
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:25,687
Oh-ho, he's back! Goddamn it,
did I miss that useless piece of shit.

165
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,653
Officer down! Officer down!

166
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,113
How bad are you hurt?

167
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,322
Now we all had our problems
with Pogo in the past,

168
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,158
but let's try to be nice to him.

169
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,663
Poor guy's been through hell.

170
00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,334
His toilet's been through worse.

171
00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:45,542
Pogo's so fat,
he uses cookie dough for deodorant!

172
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,625
His titties have titties!

173
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:52,126
- Oh, man, you got it!
- Oh, shit, here he comes!

174
00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:54,796
Okay, that's it.
Leave the fat bastard alone.

175
00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:01,975
Oh!

176
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,772
Oh, my God, he melted.

177
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,316
Hello, my dear friends.

178
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:15,913
It lifted my spirits
to see you all smiling as I drove up.

179
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:20,623
We... We were happy that...
you look so good.

180
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:25,923
I'm so glad to be back and...
...feeling great.

181
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:30,342
I cheated death, and here I am...

182
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,049
...the picture of health.

183
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:35,433
Ah, shit!

184
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,049
Don't be alarmed.

185
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:40,176
It's just my residual stomach skin.

186
00:10:40,264 --> 00:10:45,774
The technical term is a panniculus,
but I've named it Gordon.

187
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,653
Back to sleep, my friend.

188
00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,150
Bob, you should go home.

189
00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,782
This is my home.

190
00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:55,989
The thought of coming back to Mohican
is what kept me alive.

191
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:59,372
Along with the kidneys
of a young Salvadorian poet.

192
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:05,666
I'm going to Mrs. Dunbarton
and tell her I'm reporting for duty.

193
00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,248
Okay, I'll drive you.

194
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,802
I think Gordon is caught in the wheels.

195
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:22,887
A man has three jobs.
He teaches school 40 hours a week,

196
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:25,523
sells shoes every night from four to nine,

197
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,901
and fishes coins
out of municipal fountains on weekends.

198
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,272
How many hours a week is he working

199
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:35,397
to pay alimony to his ex-wife
and her new girlfriend?

200
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,526
I thought, when couples dressed alike,

201
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,954
it was a sign of how much
they loved each other.

202
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:49,043
Well, don't all shout the answer
out at once, Nobel laureates.

203
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:53,796
Let's see what brain excrement
the rock star

204
00:11:53,879 --> 00:11:56,509
is dropping in my classroom now.

205
00:11:56,590 --> 00:12:00,470
- Hey, give it back!
- Take a good look, dumb-dumbs.

206
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,973
This is what you get

207
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:07,725
when you fritter away
your life and mine by...

208
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,356
Taking notes in class
and getting the answer right?

209
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,739
I did.

210
00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:14,323
I got one right.

211
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,027
Oh, my God.

212
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,742
I finally reached a student.

213
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,991
Is Durkin crying?

214
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:24,334
- He's showing weakness!
- Riot!

215
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:28,660
We don't need you anymore!
Kevin is our teacher now!

216
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,418
Bask in my excellence!

217
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:34,916
Aw, shit, my car!

218
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:41,088
Cindy Lou, I love you.

219
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,547
Cocaine Charlie, how's the wife and kids?

220
00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:47,601
Mort the good sport, bringing Vic back.
Top of the morning, buddy.

221
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:51,403
Well, it's 11:50.
But I'm feeling jovial, so I'll allow it.

222
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,859
I'm thrilled you're back
and part of our new team,

223
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:58,740
led by the visionary program director
we brought in from the coast,

224
00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:00,859
Sandy Calabasas.

225
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,986
The legend himself, Vic Reynolds.

226
00:13:04,074 --> 00:13:09,164
Oh, man, I never thought I'd see the day
where I'd be working alongside you.

227
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:13,826
I bow down.
You are one of the all-time greats, man.

228
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,298
I'm so very psyched to meet you, Sandy.

229
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,298
My balls are humming "hallelujah."

230
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,880
My testicles are also enthused.

231
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:26,596
Well, I'll leave you two "groovy buddies"
to partake in "rock 'n' roll" activities.

232
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:28,431
Is that a real shark?

233
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,886
It's a real painting of one.

234
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:32,765
That's even better.
I'm so happy to be home.

235
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,313
Thanks for letting me be a part
of what you're doing here.

236
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:39,567
Part of it? Brother, you're
not a part of it. You're a piece of it.

237
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,452
That sounds like the same thing, man.

238
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:45,619
Vic, you're gonna program
your own block of airtime

239
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:48,489
that's just for you
and your type of music.

240
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,157
Oh, man. I'm honored.

241
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,247
Get a load of this.

242
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:58,843
Vic Reynolds
presents the Kwock Oldies Block!

243
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:02,721
Sunday mornings, right before
mandated community programming!

244
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,470
♪ Mandated community programming ♪

245
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,268
You're making me the oldies guy?
I'm 30.

246
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:12,099
The years go by so fast, don't they?

247
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:17,770
Vic, I was brought here
to turn this sinking ship right-side up.

248
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:22,277
That means finding a brand-new sound
to put us back on top again.

249
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,951
The kind of sound that rocks your chakras
from the root to the crown!

250
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:29,661
Man, I'm gonna figure out what that is,
and I'm gonna do it.

251
00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:33,793
Leave that to me.
You blazed the trail, Vic.

252
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,958
Let a younger man walk it.

253
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,591
Here, let me get you
a chair and a blanket.

254
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,465
I look so young there.

255
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:48,597
My therapist is making me play hockey

256
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,969
to deal with my anger issues.

257
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:56,937
I don't want to hurt kids.
I just want to draw hurting kids.

258
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,811
It won't be so bad, Phillip.

259
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,648
Stick by me.
I won't let anything happen to you.

260
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,404
Hi, Bill, how's it going?

261
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,856
- Ah, shit.
- Leave him alone, psycho.

262
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:09,577
I don't blame you for hating me.

263
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,658
I've been mean to you, Bill.

264
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,124
I'm just jealous that you're so smart.

265
00:15:14,204 --> 00:15:15,754
Thanks, I guess.

266
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,831
Um, could you help me with some geography?

267
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,748
The capital of Thailand
is Hong Kong, right?

268
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,837
- No, Bangkok.
- Bangkok!

269
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,513
Ow, my balls! Why?

270
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,802
You stupid fuck!

271
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,891
Bob, you came back at the perfect time.

272
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:36,639
Mohican needs its captain at the helm.

273
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:38,645
Is he asleep?

274
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:40,939
I'm here, Mrs. Dunbarton.

275
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:45,283
My eyelid skin is so heavy
it's hard to keep them open.

276
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:49,371
Well, I'm glad you're awake.
This is a tough time for Mohican.

277
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:51,868
Profits are down, fuel prices are up,

278
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,161
and those X-ray machines
have really set us back.

279
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:59,375
The government has no right to force us to
put those in after just a few hijackings.

280
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,208
I mean, one explosion,
they lose their head.

281
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,593
Whoa.

282
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,840
Mrs. Dunbarton, I am so sorry.

283
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:12,724
It's okay. I remember Roger
the way he'd want to be remembered.

284
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,175
With his throat un-slit.

285
00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:20,153
But we all have to sacrifice
to get through these lean times.

286
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:25,359
I myself have to leave now to shut down
one of Roger's beloved charities.

287
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:30,452
Those poor bus station runaways
will never get their breast implants.

288
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,911
I know Tits for Tots meant a lot to him.

289
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,912
It saved my life.

290
00:16:35,452 --> 00:16:37,042
Thank you. God bless.

291
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:39,253
Well, Bob, I'll see you later.

292
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,791
- I got to get out of here.
- Do me a kindness.

293
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:44,245
Walk me back to my office,
would you, Frank?

294
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,166
Yeah, sure.

295
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:49,125
I just have to leave at 2:45 at the latest
to pick up my kid.

296
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:53,096
You're an angel.

297
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:56,428
Uh... How do I work this?

298
00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,595
Just pretend I'm your daughter
on her wedding day

299
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:06,733
and my back skin
is her long, extravagant train.

300
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:14,115
We are midway through
a non-stop power hour of power!

301
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,449
If you're driving, don't hit those brakes!

302
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:24,628
Vic, if you just sit there
like that all day, I'm gonna kill myself.

303
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:29,674
He sticks me with the oldies?
After I told him my balls were humming?

304
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:31,057
Does that mean nothing anymore?

305
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:35,683
Vic, I got a wife to support.
And I got a really sick dog.

306
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:40,313
He got the parvo bad, man.
So I need this job.

307
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,352
But you're rich. So quit!

308
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:46,436
It's not the money.
I'm all alone in that big house.

309
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:50,442
I got nobody in my life,
except my best friend Frank.

310
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,237
I got to prove to Sandy
that I can find a new sound,

311
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,912
that I still mean something.

312
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,161
Because without this place,

313
00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,083
I don't have anything to live for.

314
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,793
Vic, you got to look at this differently.

315
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:08,004
It's like what my father told me
when I was being shipped off to 'Nam.

316
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:11,007
He said, "Henry, my son... "

317
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,220
Get down to Quint City Auto Center
and take a test drive

318
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:17,431
for a chance to win
a book of green stamps!

319
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,433
Lick 'em till they moan!

320
00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:32,651
Good luck at the auditions.
Too bad everybody hates you

321
00:18:32,736 --> 00:18:35,526
'cause your mom helped
that Chinese lady kill her husband.

322
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,994
Our neighbor killed her husband
because he took the TV away!

323
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,424
Oh, come on, Dad.

324
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,265
Where are you?

325
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:57,845
Goddamn it!

326
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,219
Just a few more steps, Bob.

327
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,191
Here we go. Here we go.

328
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:08,483
There, all set for your nap, okay?

329
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,614
I really have to go now.

330
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,740
Aw, Christ, hold on! Don't hit the floor!

331
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,617
Yeah!

332
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,372
All right, you little frozen fucks!

333
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,620
I want to see some physical play.

334
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:32,088
First kid to bring me a tooth
doesn't have to skate Russian circles.

335
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,631
Come on out, Phil.

336
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,764
I'm scared, Papa.

337
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,639
Ow! My shame triangle.

338
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,352
Well, this one's fucking worthless.

339
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,563
You're the goalie.

340
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,647
Way to go, Philly, you scored one!

341
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,355
Split up for scrimmage!

342
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,746
Jimmy, play center!

343
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,120
My wrath will not discriminate!

344
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,910
Murphy, right wing!

345
00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,493
Murphy!

346
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,618
Where the fuck is Bill Murphy?

347
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:09,366
Goddamn him.

348
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,208
Ugh, it's my fault for believing
he'd keep his word.

349
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:17,419
Sorry, I'm late, Mr. Munson.
I thought I saw a dollar in a storm drain.

350
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:20,726
Bless you, Frank.

351
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:22,637
Bob, I got to go.

352
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,471
I got this fucking pain-in-the-ass thing
with my kid's hockey team.

353
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,097
I understand. Be with your boy.

354
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:31,395
Ah, it's just I wasn't thinking,
and I got roped into volunteering...

355
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:35,070
You've got to do
what feeds your soul, Frank.

356
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,240
When I was in that hospital,

357
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:43,530
I spent six whole weeks
with my wife and sons at my side.

358
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:48,251
It reminded me
what I truly love in this life...

359
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:50,002
my job.

360
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,132
Your job? But your family...

361
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,669
I got so sick of them,

362
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:56,673
crying at my bedside,

363
00:20:56,755 --> 00:21:01,125
eating the chocolates
that were meant for me!

364
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,602
Dolores washing my feet and reading to me

365
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,851
even after I pretended to go into a coma.

366
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:16,022
No, Frank, the only peace I've ever had
in my life has been at this desk.

367
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,938
My beautiful desk.

368
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,896
Bob, no.

369
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,777
It's family that matters.

370
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,028
What the fuck is wrong with me?

371
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,906
I want to be with my son.

372
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:28,043
I'm already late to pick him up.
I got to go!

373
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,000
Whoa! Ah! Frank?

374
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,960
Christ, I'm so late.

375
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,291
Frank, can I go over that speech?

376
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:36,416
Taking my kid to an extracurricular!

377
00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:38,013
Aw, fuck you, man!

378
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:41,132
Mister, I can't find my mommy.

379
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,216
She's getting tit-fucked on the tarmac!

380
00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,347
Bill! Bill Murphy!

381
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:48,731
Has anybody seen my son?

382
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:53,515
He's not here. His old man left him
high and dry and soaking wet.

383
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,903
Shit!

384
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:57,865
Shit, shit, shit! Shit!

385
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:02,569
Assistant Coach Murphy coming through!
Dad's here, Bill!

386
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:05,744
I waited in the rain for you!
Where were you?

387
00:22:05,824 --> 00:22:08,994
Christ, Bill, I'm sorry.
I got stuck at work.

388
00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:11,617
The X-ray machine sucks,
my boss is a skin monster,

389
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,035
teens aren't getting their tits,
but I'm here now.

390
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:17,714
I told you not to come,
and then you made a big deal about it,

391
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:19,594
and you still didn't come.

392
00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:22,261
It was better
when you weren't pretending to try.

393
00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:24,264
I have to go back to practice.

394
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,513
Hang on, hang on.

395
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:32,137
His face is having its period!

396
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:34,185
Don't worry, son,
it's probably just a concussion.

397
00:22:34,227 --> 00:22:36,557
Go home and take it easy.

398
00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:40,356
If you find yourself nodding off,
just let it happen.

399
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,242
- Bill, are you okay?
- Ah, when the hell did you get here?

400
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,910
I've been here the whole time,
just like I said I would.

401
00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:49,030
Grandpa, can you take me home?

402
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:58,375
At least one kid on this team
knows what he's doing.

403
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,379
Great job, Bonfiglio!

404
00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:04,884
With that melon head,
you're a natural goalie!

405
00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:06,836
Ah!

406
00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:09,387
I did something good. Ah!

407
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,519
Come on, Dad. Where are you?

408
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,690
Nice audition, Maureen.

409
00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:18,769
I didn't realize you were illiterate. Mm!

410
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,781
Ow! You almost tripped me.
Say you're sorry.

411
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:23,738
Go suck your mother's dick.

412
00:23:23,819 --> 00:23:25,489
At least I have a mother.

413
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:30,080
Your mom died 'cause she didn't want
to see your ugly face anymore.

414
00:23:31,118 --> 00:23:32,418
Hey, Amy!

415
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:36,544
I hope Bigfoot breaks into your house,
kills your dad,

416
00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:38,713
comes to the funeral
and shits in the hole,

417
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:41,802
and then fucks your mom in the grave,
and your mom says,

418
00:23:41,878 --> 00:23:45,918
"Ooh, that's the best grave shit fucking
I've ever had, Bigfoot!

419
00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:48,137
What are you doing Thursday?"

420
00:23:59,396 --> 00:24:02,516
I won't let her say that about you.

421
00:24:18,415 --> 00:24:19,535
Maureen!

422
00:24:19,624 --> 00:24:23,004
Goddamn it, I'll show him I still got it.
I'm Vic!

423
00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:25,006
Don't miss Grandpa Vic Reynolds

424
00:24:25,088 --> 00:24:27,088
with the oldies Sunday morning,

425
00:24:27,174 --> 00:24:29,894
presented
by Turteltaub and Sons Denture Glue!

426
00:24:29,968 --> 00:24:32,928
Now you can eat corn!

427
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:46,867
Hey.

428
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,360
Huh, you're still in here.

429
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,623
I never left.

430
00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:54,825
I might never leave again.

431
00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:57,622
Oh, Sue.

432
00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:11,046
Well, at least somebody had a good day.

433
00:25:11,134 --> 00:25:12,434
Yeah.

434
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:14,061
Lucky rat.

435
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:17,274
- Frank!
- Oh.

436
00:25:18,141 --> 00:25:19,441
Sorry.

437
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:22,653
Ah.

438
00:25:23,563 --> 00:25:26,113
♪ I was his first-born son ♪

439
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:29,901
♪ But my daddy done sold me for a gun ♪

440
00:25:29,986 --> 00:25:33,026
Having you around
makes me feel good about my life.

441
00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:36,620
Sorry I'm late. I got detention
because I got a math question right.

442
00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:37,871
Hey, I wrote a new song

443
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:40,393
while this kid was having
a bike chain fight with the teacher.

444
00:25:40,417 --> 00:25:42,785
- You want to hear it?
- I don't have time for that, Kev.

445
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:45,884
I have to be home in two hours
to whack off to Rhoda.

446
00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:47,301
No, no, it's only three minutes.

447
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,759
Whoa, let's hear it.

448
00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:52,759
Cool. It's about
my new positive outlook on life.

449
00:25:52,842 --> 00:25:55,302
It's called
"My New Positive Outlook on Life."

450
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:58,597
♪ I'm walking on a cloud
And I'm happy as shit ♪

451
00:25:58,682 --> 00:26:01,482
♪ Feeling like a plane
With a party in the cockpit ♪

452
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,400
♪ I'm dancing on a pizza
And my house is big ♪

453
00:26:04,479 --> 00:26:07,769
♪ I got a monkey for a pet
And he's wearing a wig ♪

454
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:11,567
♪ Because I'm Mr. Happy Guy ♪

455
00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:14,323
♪ Mr. Twinkle in My Eye ♪

456
00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:17,326
♪ The sun is out, my pits are dry ♪

457
00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:20,119
♪ And nothing's gonna kill me ♪

458
00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:23,753
♪ Because I'm Mr. Happy Guy ♪

459
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:26,752
♪ I didn't even get that high... ♪

460
00:26:28,670 --> 00:26:30,420
Hey, that song rocks.

461
00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:35,048
Nobody's gonna tell me
a 30-year-old can't find a new sound.

462
00:26:35,135 --> 00:26:37,255
Ew, you're 30?

463
00:26:37,345 --> 00:26:40,265
♪ I'm Mr. Happy Guy ♪

464
00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:43,228
♪ Mr. Twinkle in My Eye ♪

465
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:46,190
♪ The sun is out, my pits are dry ♪

466
00:26:46,271 --> 00:26:49,021
♪ And nothing's gonna kill me ♪

467
00:26:49,107 --> 00:26:52,607
♪ Because I'm Mr. Happy Guy ♪

468
00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:55,614
♪ I didn't even get that high ♪

469
00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:58,827
♪ I got a good thing on my mind ♪

470
00:26:58,908 --> 00:27:03,458
♪ And now they call me Mr. Happy Guy ♪