1 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:11,260 Oh, God. Oh, God. 2 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,720 What was wrong with me? 3 00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:17,732 A couple hours ago, I couldn't even say the word "baby," 4 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,109 but now... 5 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,306 Please tell me everything's gonna be all right. 6 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:25,277 Well, you're in luck. The sack isn't ruptured. 7 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,608 The heartbeat is normal. Your baby is fi... 8 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,318 Thank God. 9 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,197 God. Huh! 10 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,036 He gets all the praise, yet I do all the work. 11 00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:42,578 And there won't be any problems with the delivery? 12 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,957 Don't you worry your pretty little head. 13 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:50,046 This delivery will go just as easy as all your others, 14 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:54,103 thanks to the miracle of twilight sleep. 15 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:59,099 I'll inject you with a delicate cocktail of morphine and scopolamine 16 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:04,484 so you'll experience all the unbearable pain of childbirth, 17 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:08,034 but you won't remember a moment of it. 18 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:11,989 And you'll be strapped to the bed so you won't harm yourself 19 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:16,032 while thrashing about due to the psychotic side effects of the drugs. 20 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,417 Um... 21 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:21,787 I know this is how I did it before, but strapped down? 22 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,290 A sock in my mouth? 23 00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:29,375 Isn't there maybe some other way that isn't so... I don't know, barbaric? 24 00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:35,144 Ha! Barbaric was bleeding out in the back of a covered wagon 25 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:39,600 while your prospector husband tried to keep the savages at bay 26 00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:43,102 with a Smith & Wesson and a diseased blanket. 27 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,476 What we're doing here is compassionate! 28 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:50,614 Barbaric?! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard! 29 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:58,580 That's so funny it's making my arm go numb! 30 00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:01,291 Gah! 31 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,964 Oh, my God! 32 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,342 Is he...? 33 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,880 He's with half of his patients now. 34 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,194 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 35 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,822 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 36 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:34,026 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 37 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,487 ♪ Come and get your love ♪ 38 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,163 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 39 00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:43,557 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 40 00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:46,622 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 41 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,128 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 42 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:49,249 Ah! 43 00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,255 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 44 00:02:51,279 --> 00:02:53,029 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 45 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,760 ♪ Come and get your love Come and get your love ♪ 46 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,204 ♪ Come and get your love now ♪ 47 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:10,936 So... X-ray machine, huh? 48 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,324 Yeah. 49 00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:16,107 Government made us put it in. Because of all the hijackings. 50 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,696 Hell of a way to spend your Saturday night. 51 00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,411 At least Sue's having fun at her baby shower. 52 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,867 Maybe she'll come back sane. 53 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,917 Listen, uh... son... 54 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,885 Yeah? 55 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,171 You're taking a left on Jack Ruby Parkway? 56 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,007 Oh, yeah. Otherwise, we'd be backed up to Ferndale. 57 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,263 What the hell is Ferndale? 58 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:43,005 - Ah, they renamed Chinaman's Ferry. - They did not! 59 00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,347 And they built a senior center on top of the old dump. 60 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:47,353 Aw, you kids loved that dump. 61 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,645 I know! Oh, that's where we found the... 62 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,189 ...fridge with the arm in it! 63 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,362 Oh, yeah, with the ring on the fing... 64 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:59,068 Tonight, Chipsy White stars in There's a Fairy on My Shoulder. 65 00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:05,325 And then America's favorite wacky neighbor saves a baby ocelot on Bruce Again! 66 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,331 Bruce again! 67 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,035 Out! Out! Out! 68 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,585 That's a very special Bruce Again! 69 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:17,300 right after an extremely predictable There's a Fairy on My Shoulder. 70 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,720 Poor Dr. McCallister. 71 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,890 He delivered all of my children. And me. 72 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,010 And my grandmother. 73 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,428 What am I supposed to do now? 74 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,186 You're better off without him, deary. 75 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:33,479 I shouldn't speak ill of the dead, but the man was no saint. 76 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:38,114 He once left a pack of Lucky Strikes in a ten-year-old's abdomen. 77 00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:42,744 Now, let's get your husband to sign your discharge papers and take you home. 78 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,914 I'm assuming he's in the bar downstairs. 79 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:49,333 No, he's supposed to be drinking at home today, but I can't reach him. 80 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,174 I called and called, but he's not answering. 81 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:53,919 Oh, that's a different story. 82 00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:55,092 Come with me. 83 00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:57,919 Unfortunately, we can't release any woman 84 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:01,506 until her husband or closest male relative signs the papers. 85 00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,512 What? That can't be right. 86 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,264 Oh, I'm afraid it is. 87 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:10,476 It's been hospital policy since we started using malaria to cure syphilis. 88 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:13,060 - Wait in here. - Unclaimed? 89 00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,914 I'm sure you'll reach your husband soon. 90 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,874 - Mrs. Delvecchio, your husband called. - Yes? 91 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,705 He's playing 36 holes, not 18. 92 00:05:33,791 --> 00:05:36,001 Oh, God! 93 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:40,665 Jesus. Come on, Frank. Where are you? 94 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,561 Anthony! 95 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,061 Where are you, little buddy? 96 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:57,114 I put you in charge of the kids for a couple of hours, 97 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,940 and this is what happens? 98 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:03,645 Why wasn't my precious baby in his crib with that old door on top of it? 99 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:06,778 Are you gonna let her talk to you like that, 100 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:10,616 or are you gonna take off your shirt and beat her like a man? 101 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:14,043 I'll deal with you after we find Anthony. 102 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:17,213 - He's out in the wild! - Ah! 103 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,455 Huh? 104 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,086 I can't get to hockey now. 105 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,304 Whoever will tend the pipes? 106 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,385 Let Nana Rose take you. 107 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:29,434 This'll be fun. 108 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:32,314 I haven't driven since your grandfather hurt his back 109 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:35,062 throwing rocks at Mussolini's corpse. 110 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,322 Uh... 111 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:46,322 ♪ They call me Mr. Happy Guy ♪ 112 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,118 That's such a great song. 113 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:53,911 Oh, thanks, yeah. Vic, he's my neighbor. He's really cool. 114 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:57,416 He's gonna put us on his radio station, and he has fish in his couch. 115 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,460 Anyway, he says I wrote it about you. 116 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,669 Well, did you? 117 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,760 Well, I wrote it about how good I feel 118 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:08,181 when I'm around you, so... ...yeah. 119 00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:12,314 Well, since I'm your muse, I get ten percent of the profits. 120 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,980 Ten percent? That's like half! 121 00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:18,268 I'm joking. Girls can make jokes too, you know. 122 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,444 Uh, doy! I understand jokes. And girls. 123 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,824 You're such a dork. 124 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,451 You're such a dork. 125 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:42,461 Would you mind if I told everyone about this? 126 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,010 Thank God for hockey. 127 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,966 My whole day sucked. 128 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,636 My dad's an asshole, and it turns out my grandpa's just an older asshole. 129 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:56,886 Well, at least you have a grandfather. 130 00:07:56,976 --> 00:08:01,806 Mine suffocated in the chimney of a house he was robbing when they lit the fire. 131 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:05,108 All right, listen up, boys! I got some action on this game. 132 00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:10,108 So all you got to do is lose by four-and-a-half goals or less, 133 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,948 and Fitzy gets a payday. 134 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,833 We will make you money, sir! 135 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,410 All right, let's bring it in. 136 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:17,212 One, two, three. 137 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:18,996 Cover the spread! Yeah! 138 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,921 - Anthony! - Anthony! 139 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,631 Anthony! 140 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:28,341 Come to Mama, and I'll let you play with Daddy's lighter! 141 00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:30,593 Here, kitty, kitty. 142 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,976 Ow. 143 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,194 Fairy on my shoulder! 144 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,492 He loves wings! 145 00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:02,084 It's so cool. You can do whatever you want with no parents around. 146 00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:05,876 Yeah, being a latchkey kid is the tits. 147 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:11,048 Eh, it's okay. There's nothing in there. 148 00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:15,473 My dad traded all our family photos for a set of used snow tires. 149 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,925 Hey, let's eat. 150 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:20,234 I stole a can of Vienna sausages from the men's shelter. 151 00:09:20,309 --> 00:09:22,439 And some boots for when I get bigger. 152 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:28,440 That fucking Jimmy! He probably shoved those sausages up his shit chute. 153 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,486 Aw. That's okay. 154 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:35,160 Don't worry. I know how to get all the food we want... 155 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,201 for free. 156 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,869 My dad's keys to the school. 157 00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,836 - Oh, come on! - How long is this going to take? 158 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:44,964 I don't have time for this. 159 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:48,092 I have to get to Plattsburgh to pick out a goose for my new down jacket. 160 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,050 When is that thing going to be fixed? 161 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:53,511 Don't get your panties in your dick-hole. Professionals are at work. 162 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,393 I think I fixed the belt. Turn it on. 163 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,136 Is it supposed to sizzle? 164 00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:04,346 Hey, hey, hey! What the fuck are you doing? 165 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:08,857 You can't be inside that thing when it's on. You might break it. Get out! 166 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,897 Anyone else smell burnt memories? 167 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,606 - This is unacceptable! - We've been waiting for hours! 168 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,237 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Frank Murphy, 169 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,905 and I am the chief of ground services for Mohican. 170 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:23,961 Now, the government has mandated that your safety is our top priority, 171 00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:28,167 so we can't let you on the flights until the machine is fixed 172 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,962 and we can scan your luggage. 173 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,466 But I have the situation under control. 174 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,679 That could've killed me! 175 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,080 God damn it. 176 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:41,143 You can do it, son. There are no more parts that can fall off! 177 00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:45,475 - Dad, what are you doing? - Don't worry, folks, 178 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,311 at least the idiot's not flying the plane. 179 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,737 - You're embarrassing me. - I'm lightening the mood. 180 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,238 Yeah, by shitting all over me! 181 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,240 Aw, Christ, Francis, I'm just trying to help. 182 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,333 Well, you're not helping! You're tearing me down like you always do! 183 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:01,579 You're too sensitive! 184 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,901 - Your whole generation! - Every time, you smack me down! 185 00:11:03,925 --> 00:11:06,044 No wonder we couldn't do better than a tie in Korea! 186 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,670 Fine, fine. 187 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,170 You don't want my help? You won't get it. 188 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,168 Good luck, Francine. 189 00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,535 - This generation is so delicate. - Always undermining me. 190 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:18,298 Sorry to hear about your accident, Sue, but, uh, Frank's not around. 191 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:21,136 I haven't seen him in hours, and there's no lights on in your house. 192 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,772 Thank you, Goomer. 193 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:25,768 But why are you answering the phone at Mr. Holtenwasser's house? 194 00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:28,401 I was here, uh... 195 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,819 feeding his, uh... 196 00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:32,907 wife's ashes. 197 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:36,031 Oh, boy. Better hide in the attic. 198 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,782 Scheisse. Scheisse. Scheisse. 199 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,198 Where the hell can he be? 200 00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:41,872 - Hello. - Jesus Christ! 201 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,621 There is a different way. Listen to Mother Nature. 202 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,535 Nature has no place in a hospital. 203 00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,753 Go peddle your hippie voodoo somewhere else. 204 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:52,883 Sorry about that nutjob. 205 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:57,048 We try to make our hospital a pleasant environment. 206 00:11:57,133 --> 00:12:00,553 ♪ He hit a gypsy with his car When he swerved to miss a boulder ♪ 207 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:04,716 ♪ Now he's cursed both day and night With a fairy on his shoulder ♪ 208 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:06,107 That's me! 209 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,690 Where are you, Frank?! 210 00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:17,114 The Reparations Room in Kansas City, Ohio, 211 00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:20,574 proudly presents Mr. Chipsy White! 212 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:23,236 Fairy on my shoulder. 213 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,945 Hello, beautiful people. 214 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:28,325 This goes out to all the gentlemen escorting their ladies. 215 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,004 If you truly love your woman, forget about the diamonds, 216 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:33,504 forget the pearls. 217 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:37,626 Just... eat... that... pussy! 218 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,682 I don't care if they call me bean flicker or brownie king. 219 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,550 I like to eat that pussy! 220 00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,305 So get a mouthful of pussy like a stray dog 221 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:50,351 trying to get a worm out a spoiled peach, hear me? 222 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:51,596 Puppy dog! 223 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:54,357 Eat... that... nasty... 224 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,109 Nasty pussy. 225 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,993 Na... na... nasty pussy. 226 00:12:59,069 --> 00:13:00,949 - Nasty! - Na... nasty p... pussy. 227 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:06,409 All right, get out there and make your families fucking proud! 228 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:09,214 My family isn't here. I don't want them here. 229 00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:13,458 Not everyone has a stellar relationship with their loved ones. 230 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:18,212 Ah! Hi, Nana! I'm wearing a cup over my weenus! 231 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:24,215 Sometimes God, he make-a the cow when he trying to make-a the bull. 232 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:38,226 Remember to keep your head up, you redheaded fag! 233 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,617 That's my boy! 234 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:48,535 Pretty soon we'll have all the meat sauce we can drink. 235 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,672 Humph. 236 00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:03,336 Nowadays they give you a plaque just for dying. 237 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,795 Hey, you can't be back here. 238 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:09,096 According to my son, Frank, I can't be anywhere. 239 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:10,721 Oh, you're Frank's dad? 240 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:14,768 Lucky for you, you just met the master of killing time. 241 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:20,779 Sorry, if I take it out, I got to use it. Union rules. 242 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,650 You want to drink with me and complain about young people? 243 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,697 Come on. Come on. Be at work. 244 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,953 - This is Frank Murphy. - Come to the hospital! I had a... 245 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:36,037 ...Mohican Airways. We leave the competition in a trail of tears. 246 00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:39,085 - I'm not here right now, so please... - Goddamn it! 247 00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:45,048 Look, I cannot reach my husband, but I should not have to. 248 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,724 I am a grown woman with almost a college degree. 249 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:49,890 I demand that you let me... 250 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,312 Take a seat... ma'am. 251 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,691 Goddamn it! 252 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:59,898 Walk another block, skinny bones. This seat's taken. 253 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:08,315 ♪ This old man, he played nine I was born with a fucked-up spine ♪ 254 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,203 Ha! Tonight we feast like kings. 255 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,746 I hope you like Mexican sauerkraut. 256 00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:18,041 Aw, hey, don't be sad. 257 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,245 I got a can of lettuce too. 258 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,996 Amy screwed up my audition, 259 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,627 and now she got the starring role in the play. 260 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:27,255 I'm death row convict number four. 261 00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:31,508 And I only have one line. It's "Ow." 262 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,017 Aw, stupid drama club. 263 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:37,442 Bunch of lesbians. Let's fuck them over! 264 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:43,863 Come on, Maureen. It's fun. The meat sauce looks like shit water. 265 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,401 Go to hell, Amy! 266 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,620 Uh, ah! 267 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,697 Ow! 268 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,786 Hey, you already know your line! 269 00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:59,121 All flights are going to be held until the machine is fixed. 270 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,418 Please wait patiently. 271 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:03,501 I swear to God, if I have to settle for a public golf-course goose, 272 00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,207 I will strangle a child. 273 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,757 Oh, Rosie! Can you give me a hand? 274 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:12,636 Oh, absolutely, Frank. I'll help you the same way you helped me with my speech. 275 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:16,181 Fuck you, fuck off, go fuck yourself. 276 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,726 Ah, I guess I deserved that. 277 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:29,744 Anthony! Come to Mama so she can smell the back of your neck! 278 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,872 I can't believe you lost our son. 279 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:35,449 I didn't lose him, Jelly Belly. He ran away. 280 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:38,286 Under your supervision, you rat-faced little wop. 281 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,713 I wish I could run away. 282 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,961 How could you say such a thing? 283 00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,213 Because you treat me like a baby! 284 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:49,723 You pick out my clothes. You won't let me cut my own steak. 285 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,800 That's why I wanted to be Vic! He's free! 286 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:57,927 He doesn't have a wife to tell him that his shorts are too short 287 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,267 and he can't grow a mustache! 288 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:06,033 Oh, Nunzio! I had no idea I made you feel this way. 289 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,991 It's just sometimes! 290 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:13,410 I'm so sorry, my little huggle bun. 291 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:15,410 Mommy loves you so much. 292 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,202 I love you too. 293 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:28,297 Marie, I found something! 294 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:31,970 That's not it, but you're closer than you've ever been. 295 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:36,811 No, look! There's a child-size footprint in that pile of bear shit. 296 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,469 And the prints go that way! 297 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:42,227 We're coming for you, my little can of SpaghettiOs! 298 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:45,271 ♪ Mr. Happy Guy ♪ 299 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:50,032 So? This is the new sound. 300 00:17:50,110 --> 00:17:52,820 Do you love it, or do you fucking love it? 301 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:56,485 Vic, my man. This song is a perfect example 302 00:17:56,575 --> 00:18:00,575 of what I like to call "old and out of touch." 303 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,830 Come on, Sandy. 304 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,495 These guys are young, and they rock. 305 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:09,304 I'm not even sure the lead guitar kid has eyes. 306 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:12,419 - That's something, isn't it? - Aw, stick with the oldies, Grandpa. 307 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,009 I already found the new sound. 308 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,894 This track has just started burning up the charts in LA. 309 00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:21,731 Open your ears and listen to the future. 310 00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:28,186 ♪ Sailing away, feeling the breeze ♪ 311 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,823 ♪ Sunny day, love in the eve ♪ 312 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,862 Aw, this is making my 'nads pull into my body. 313 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,367 Well, it makes my 'nads want to sway in the breeze 314 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,619 while fucking an island woman up against an indigenous tree. 315 00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:44,712 Come on, Vic. Vietnam's over. Tricky Dick is gone. 316 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,960 Racism, solved. 317 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:49,092 People want to escape and listen to the sounds 318 00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:52,549 of sailing a catamaran off the coast of Escondido. 319 00:18:52,631 --> 00:18:54,011 The Kwock is dead. 320 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:58,971 This is the sound of WKWEEZ, 321 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,394 The Kweeze. 322 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:05,480 So ride the wave, old man, or get dragged out with the tide 323 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:09,821 and then fucked by a dolphin while a turtle watches. 324 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,067 Ow! 325 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,790 Murphy, you've been useless this whole fucking game! 326 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:27,542 If you don't get with it and help me cover the spread, 327 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:29,884 I will drown you in the toilet! 328 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,087 All right, have fun. 329 00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:38,339 You can't beat me, you little pussy. 330 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,007 Shut up. 331 00:19:40,095 --> 00:19:42,465 I don't give a shit about you. 332 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:46,056 - That's why I let you stand in the rain. - Huh? 333 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,563 What, did your mother forget to breastfeed you this morning? 334 00:19:48,645 --> 00:19:49,945 Stop it! 335 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,942 Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! 336 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:56,645 Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! Pussy! 337 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:59,867 Fuck you, Dad! Fuck you, Grandpa! 338 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,449 Ah! 339 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,334 Jesus, my neck! 340 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,711 Holy shit, he's a natural. 341 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,544 Teach that kid to fuck with you, Billy! I'm proud of you! 342 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,996 Uh... thanks, coach. 343 00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,085 Ah! 344 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:15,088 My best friend! 345 00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:24,061 That's quite a treasure chest you got there. 346 00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:26,639 Ah, perks of the job, eh? 347 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,435 After every flight, we clean out the cockpit. 348 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:36,858 I got it easy in here. 349 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,397 Eh, glad I'm not Frank right now. 350 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,488 Nah. 351 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:44,662 He's getting all flustered. He's the angriest person I've ever seen. 352 00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:48,413 And he blames me because I gave him a grass skirt 30 years ago. 353 00:20:48,497 --> 00:20:50,747 At least you get to see your son. 354 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:54,922 My boy Pete in Cleveland hasn't spoken to me in years. 355 00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:57,053 I never even met my grandkids. 356 00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:59,760 Don't know if I even have grandkids. 357 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:01,891 That's terrible. You're his father. 358 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:03,759 Yeah, I don't blame him. 359 00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:08,175 I always put my needs first. All about me. 360 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:12,310 I missed his wedding to go to a Chubby Checker concert. 361 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:16,863 In my defense, that was when "The Twist" was really big. 362 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:20,952 How was I supposed to know he was gonna twist again the very next summer? 363 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,869 You're a night watchman, not Nostradamus. 364 00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,449 Yeah, but still, I regret it. 365 00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:31,955 Dance fads are forever, but family love is fleeting. 366 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:40,585 This is no way to treat rich white men. 367 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:44,224 This is just the beginning. First it's the waiting in line. 368 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,683 Next thing you know, you got a finger inside you. 369 00:21:46,763 --> 00:21:50,103 Please bear with me. I'm doing the best I can! All right? 370 00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:54,153 Hey, who wants some free booze to help the waiting go better? 371 00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:58,819 Everyone get blasted, 372 00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:03,360 courtesy of Mohican Airways and my son, Frank Murphy. 373 00:22:04,614 --> 00:22:07,084 That should give you some time to fix that thing. 374 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:10,079 Jesus, Dad, you're... You're helping me? 375 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,462 You're my son. 376 00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:14,665 Name your poison. I got hooch. 377 00:22:15,667 --> 00:22:17,497 This is ridiculous. 378 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,336 Can't leave this room, 379 00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:22,341 don't have a say in how to deliver my own baby? 380 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,554 I've never felt so degraded and powerless in all my life. 381 00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:26,935 I hear you. 382 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:31,176 I should be out there right now getting pissed on for money. 383 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:34,125 ♪ You can't pick your neighbors You can't pick your friends ♪ 384 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:36,024 ♪ But when the going gets tough, it's... ♪ 385 00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:37,944 Bruce again! 386 00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:40,855 Can we at least please turn this garbage down? 387 00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:42,492 - No! - Fine! 388 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,330 Huh? 389 00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:52,002 "It's your body. It's your baby. Choose... Lamaze." 390 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,119 Out! Out! Out! 391 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:57,666 I'll go. But first I have something to say. 392 00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:01,211 I'm a human being, and I deserve respect. 393 00:23:01,296 --> 00:23:03,086 Yes, you do. 394 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:05,973 I won't let you push me around anymore. 395 00:23:06,593 --> 00:23:10,313 It's my life, and you don't get to decide how I live it. 396 00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:12,392 You tell him, Bruce Again. 397 00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:13,984 Ma'am, you can't leave here. 398 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:15,479 You can't keep me here. 399 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,810 Good for you, sister! 400 00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:22,026 And that's why I'm gonna name my ocelot after you! 401 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,235 - Come back here! - Go to hell! 402 00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:29,702 - Tell me about this. - Ooh, you're strong, I like that. 403 00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,703 - I'm Samantha. - Just tell me, Samantha. 404 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:35,205 The Lamaze method is a revolutionary, 405 00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:39,838 holistic, and empowering natural option for childbirth. 406 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:43,048 - With Lamaze, you take the power back. - Go on. 407 00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:48,683 No longer will you be rendered unconscious by a doctor's drugs. Ugh. 408 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:54,270 You will experience the miracle of birth, awake and in control. 409 00:23:54,349 --> 00:23:58,059 And no longer will you have to listen to what others say is best for you. 410 00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:00,185 You know what feels right. 411 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,272 You know that song I said I loved? 412 00:24:02,357 --> 00:24:03,857 It sucks now. 413 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,442 But we can fix it. 414 00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:06,897 The good news is all we have to do 415 00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:09,067 is change the melody, lyrics, and instruments. 416 00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,066 - I'm cool with it. - Whatever sells. 417 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,288 I don't even know y'all's names. 418 00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,452 I... guess so. 419 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,407 That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say. 420 00:24:17,497 --> 00:24:22,377 Giving birth is about being surrounded by the ones you love the most. 421 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:26,051 Embrace their energy and hold them close. 422 00:24:26,131 --> 00:24:28,631 Oh, my sweet Anthony! 423 00:24:29,134 --> 00:24:30,894 I love you so much! 424 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,469 I love you. And you know what? 425 00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:36,024 I love you, and I... You know what? I want to eat. I want to eat. 426 00:24:36,099 --> 00:24:37,929 Oh, he's hungry. 427 00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:39,318 What do you want, baby? 428 00:24:39,352 --> 00:24:41,812 I want to eat that nasty pussy! 429 00:24:43,106 --> 00:24:44,516 Ow, my pussy! 430 00:24:44,608 --> 00:24:48,778 Your husband will be an active partner in the birthing process. 431 00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:54,989 No longer will he get drunk in the waiting room 432 00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:56,576 while you do all the work. 433 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,621 Yeah. 434 00:24:59,247 --> 00:25:02,247 And you will be able to emotionally connect 435 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:06,254 with your baby in its first moments of life. 436 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:10,508 This is what I've been searching for. I can't wait to learn from you. 437 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:12,802 Give me a call when you get out of here. 438 00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:14,186 I will. 439 00:25:14,804 --> 00:25:18,144 Catamarans? What the fuck's an "Escondido"? 440 00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,818 Hello? 441 00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:25,114 Do you have any idea what time it is, young man? 442 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:27,360 Hey, Mr. Goomer. Uh... it's quarter to ten. 443 00:25:27,442 --> 00:25:28,572 Oh, thanks! 444 00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:30,202 Oh, yeah, your mom's in the hospital, 445 00:25:30,278 --> 00:25:32,198 and a bear broke in and clogged your toilet. 446 00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:38,913 Dad, you saved my ass. And you fixed that fucking machine! 447 00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:41,535 There's no problem on God's green Earth 448 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:44,213 that can't be solved by a roll of duct tape. 449 00:25:44,292 --> 00:25:47,842 That's how you set my broken arm when I fell out of that chestnut tree. 450 00:25:47,921 --> 00:25:49,461 It still clicks! 451 00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:51,969 I love it! Adds character! 452 00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:58,678 Oh! Some poor bastard doesn't know how to drunk drive. 453 00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:00,675 He's ruining it for the rest of us! 454 00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:04,444 That looks like Sue's car. 455 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:10,402 Sue, I came here as fast as I could. Are you okay? Is the baby okay? 456 00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:13,195 We're fine. We're fine. They wouldn't let me leave without you. 457 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,200 - You again! - Yes, me! 458 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,492 Just because you live under a bridge and eat goats 459 00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:20,746 doesn't mean you can lock up my wife, you skin tag with eyes! 460 00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,579 Frank! Frank, it's okay. Really. 461 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:27,495 This was a crazy day, but it led me to exactly what I needed. 462 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:30,956 I want to have the baby with the Lamaze method. 463 00:26:31,047 --> 00:26:33,677 - Sure, honey. Whatever you want. - It's this thing where you... 464 00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:36,008 Whatever it is, I love it. And I love you. 465 00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:38,184 Aw, I love you, honey. 466 00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:44,769 Aw! 467 00:26:46,354 --> 00:26:49,074 Mind your own business, you fucking sick people!