1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,671 Are you a fan of poetry? 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:07,808 What do you say to an evening of "raging against the dying of the light"? 3 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,649 ANNOUNCER: FX presents Better Things. 4 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:23,557 (dog barking in distance) 5 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:35,002 Uh, this one is a haiku and a half. 6 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,005 "As I counted the bracelets 7 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,641 "on my dying mother's wrist, 8 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,811 "it was as if I was counting... 9 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,683 ...her pain." 10 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:55,756 (scattered applause) 11 00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,525 Thank you. 12 00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,160 Thank you. 13 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,061 WOMAN: Congratulations, Joy. 14 00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,630 Oh... (women whooping) 15 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,665 Thank you, thank you. 16 00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,667 Oh, that was really intense. 17 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:09,237 (sighs) 18 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,572 How do you know Joy? 19 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,841 Oh, uh, college. 20 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,576 Cool. 21 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:17,111 I don't really know her. 22 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:20,681 I-I just got an e-mail saying she needed some support. 23 00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:22,082 Cool. 24 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:25,085 ROBIN: You have any kids? 25 00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,255 SAM: Oh, I have three daughters. 26 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,190 ROBIN: You're married? 27 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,259 SAM: Divorced. 28 00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,861 Me, too. 29 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,896 You have kids? 30 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,167 I have a daughter, yeah. 31 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,336 And how often do you see her? 32 00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:43,904 Every day. 33 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,707 How does that work? 34 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,143 Well, I-I'm raising her. 35 00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,744 Oh. 36 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,446 Her mom died? 37 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,614 (chuckles): No. No. 38 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,082 She's-she's very much alive. 39 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:56,784 After our divorce, 40 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,752 I moved to a house about a half a mile away, 41 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,288 as close as I could get to our house, 42 00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:01,822 so that I could be near our daughter, 43 00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,357 but then her mom met somebody 44 00:02:03,391 --> 00:02:04,792 and they moved very far away, 45 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,461 and she has a whole other life now. 46 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:10,431 And she decided... 47 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:14,402 not to raise my daughter, so I'm doing it on my own. 48 00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:17,238 And how's that going? 49 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,439 Pretty bad. 50 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,440 (chuckles) 51 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,042 Like your life, I guess. Subtract two. 52 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,146 Nice. 53 00:02:26,180 --> 00:02:28,148 ("Everything Is New" by Briana Marela playing) 54 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:29,983 (singers vocalizing ethereal music) 55 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:32,286 * 56 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,673 * 57 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:55,809 (door opens) 58 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,177 Mom, did you or did you not say 59 00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:59,480 that I could have the minivan when I turn 16? 60 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,781 Mom? Hi, Mommy. 61 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,115 Can we spend time together today? 62 00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,552 Mom, no fair. What are you gonna do? 63 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,086 My God, Frankie, stop pretending like 64 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,688 everything is a conspiracy against you. 65 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,524 FRANKIE: I don't want the minivan anyway. 66 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:13,761 I want a blue Mercedes, where all the windows go down. 67 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,963 Like, open windows. I think it's so cute. 68 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:19,066 MAX: Oh, and you think she's just gonna buy one for you? 69 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,834 FRANKIE: No, but, I mean, like, if she wants one, 70 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,837 then I could also drive it. MAX: Don't you like him? 71 00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,806 * What matters... FRANKIE: Ew, no. He's my teacher. 72 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,208 MAX: He's a student teacher. He's hot. 73 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:32,079 * When everything (girls continue chattering) 74 00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:35,283 * Is new 75 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,717 MAX: He has an eclectic style... 76 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,852 (singers vocalizing) 77 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,822 MAX: He's quirky. I like it. 78 00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,156 FRANKIE: That's so weird, Max. 79 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,658 MAX: Well, who do you have a crush on? 80 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,126 You have a crush on the weirdest people. 81 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,095 FRANKIE: Excuse you? MAX: Excuse me. 82 00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:49,830 FRANKIE: Like, you have a crush on my teacher. 83 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:51,399 -That's nasty. -Your student teacher. 84 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,900 * Be true... 85 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,167 FRANKIE: You think with your vagina. 86 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,337 MAX: That's right, I do. 87 00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,238 FRANKIE: Yeah, and it's unfortunate, because your vagina is stupid. 88 00:03:58,272 --> 00:03:59,907 It may be the only part of your body 89 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,174 that's dumber than your brain. 90 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,176 MAX: Okay, like your vagina is a genius. 91 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:04,745 FRANKIE: My vagina is going to invent a car 92 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,380 that runs on water. 93 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,815 MAX: Congratulations. FRANKIE: Thank you. 94 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:10,017 Max, you have a shot. 95 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,419 When you turn 18, it won't make a difference. 96 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,853 I'll get ordained and marry you. 97 00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:14,388 MAX: You would do that? 98 00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:15,589 FRANKIE: Yes, but I'll get ordained as a Satanist, 99 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,458 and you have to give me your firstborn 100 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,259 so I can drink its blood. 101 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:20,361 MAX: Yeah, okay, I'd do that. 102 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,129 For Mr. Thompson, yeah. 103 00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,364 FRANKIE: So it's settled. 104 00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:24,798 MAX: Yes, it is. 105 00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:26,467 Does it have to be my firstborn? 106 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,101 FRANKIE: Yes. MAX: Can I give you my husband? 107 00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:29,403 FRANKIE: No. 108 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,771 MAX: All right, whatever. 109 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:31,939 Classy. 110 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,574 Why would you post that, though? 111 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,377 (Frankie and Max laughing) 112 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,112 Okay, so when you hit the vape too hard. 113 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:42,215 * Is now, is now. 114 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,217 (singers vocalizing) 115 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:49,623 * Mother, you had me 116 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:54,328 * But I never had you 117 00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,196 * 118 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:02,336 * I wanted you 119 00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:08,976 * You didn't want me. 120 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,178 * 121 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,681 MAN: Stop! Let's go this way. 122 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,315 MAN 2: That's what you said before! 123 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,484 I'm not going! 124 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,285 (high-pitched): Don't be stupid. 125 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,387 At least not now! 126 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,455 You'd better be right! 127 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,623 (sobbing): Oh, come on. 128 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,957 This way! 129 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,259 (yells) For crying in Pete's face, 130 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:27,628 just come on! 131 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:31,765 (groans loudly) 132 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:34,001 (both screaming) 133 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:38,238 (groans): Get out of my cave! 134 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:39,640 I told you! 135 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,643 (groans loudly) 136 00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:44,812 Hmm? 137 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,279 Lightning in a bottle. Hitler. 138 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,248 (laughs) If it ain't broke, don't-- 139 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,883 If it ain't broke don't fix it, right? He's only got one ball! 140 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,786 Are we good? (whoops) 141 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:53,987 (page turns) 142 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,089 This is torture. 143 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,626 Max, you have to drive. 144 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,661 You need a license, you have to wait in line. 145 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,295 Yeah, I have to drive? 146 00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:05,499 My friends and I couldn't wait to do this 147 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,367 the second we turned 15. Blah, blah. 148 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:08,702 And the phones, they were really big 149 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,504 and they stayed in your house. 150 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:12,440 Oh, my God. 151 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:16,209 We both suck. 152 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:17,645 Can't we just go to Dollar Bag 153 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,912 and get Jolly Ranchers? 154 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,213 Forward, Max. 155 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,382 Your life needs to move forward. 156 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:25,486 (phone vibrates) 157 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,455 Hi. Hi. 158 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,689 ROBIN: Hi. 159 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,057 Is it okay that I'm calling? 160 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,260 Well, I did give you my number. (laughs) 161 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,495 How are you? 162 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,663 I'm good. 163 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:36,997 Yeah, I'm good. 164 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:41,201 So, this is, uh... 165 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,671 I'm gonna take a big swing right now. 166 00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,405 Uh, go for it. 167 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,074 Yeah? 168 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,676 Yeah. Hi. What? 169 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,277 I was planning on going 170 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:52,112 up to El Cevitas this weekend. 171 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,914 Mia has an overnight with her school 172 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,083 so I'm going away. 173 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:57,417 So... 174 00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,319 I'm going to invite you to come with me, 175 00:06:59,352 --> 00:07:00,988 to spend the weekend with me in El Cevitas, 176 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,691 and we can taste some wine 177 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,025 or look at some art, 178 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:08,228 uh, have some great food, 179 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,864 and... yeah. 180 00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:13,534 Yeah, big, big weekend. 181 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:16,169 Asking you to spend the weekend, so... 182 00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,505 big swing. 183 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,039 Yeah. 184 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:21,809 That is a big swing there, chief. 185 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,111 You know what, I like you. 186 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:28,048 I know it's-it's early for me to be asking you 187 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:32,019 to go away with me, but I'm doing it 188 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:34,788 because I like you that much. 189 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:37,525 Uh, I just feel like we got off 190 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:41,261 on such an unconventional foot here and... 191 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,532 I already had this trip planned 192 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:48,335 and I don't want to wait until next weekend to see you again, 193 00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,539 uh, because I... (sighs) 194 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,273 I'm gonna stop there. 195 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,744 Just, if you want to come, please do. 196 00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,078 You're invited. 197 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,279 And also... 198 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,081 (line beeps) Wait, what? 199 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,583 Did you hear what I said? 200 00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:04,017 (line beeps) Hold on. 201 00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,135 Um, I need to think about it. 202 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:23,403 Is that okay? 203 00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,238 Yeah. More than okay. 204 00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,674 Really? Yes. 205 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,376 I'd be weirded out if you said yes right away. 206 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,478 (laughs) What? 207 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,981 No, I mean, you know, please go ahead. 208 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,316 Talk to your girlfriends about it. Ew. 209 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,185 Or don't. 210 00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,420 However you want to... Okay. I'll... 211 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,623 I'll call you later, okay? 212 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,558 Yes. Yes, okay. 213 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,695 Okay. 214 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:48,929 Hey. 215 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,798 Yeah? 216 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,332 That was nice. 217 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,534 Thank you for asking. 218 00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,469 I like it... 219 00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,639 how you asked. 220 00:08:58,672 --> 00:08:59,707 Okay. 221 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,009 Bye. 222 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,213 Ooh. 223 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,382 Good move, buddy. 224 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:13,220 Good move. Good move. 225 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,691 Ooh. 226 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,735 Oh, my God, we're not going back in there. 227 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,436 (groans) 228 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,674 JOY: We're estranged now. 229 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,876 One year, she made me flaming cherries jubilee. 230 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,510 It was really good. 231 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,512 I can't even remember what we fought about. 232 00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,248 I don't know. 233 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:45,452 I just feel like I still have a lot of stuff left to do. 234 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,220 I don't know. I can't believe it's my birthday. 235 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,657 It was really sweet of you guys to take me out. 236 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,825 I can't believe I'm old enough to drink. 237 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,394 (laughs) 238 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,863 What's going on with you? 239 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,766 Huh? Nothing. 240 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,201 Nothing. 241 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,370 Hi. Happy birthday. 242 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,205 Yay, birthday! Thank you. 243 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,240 JOY: This is such a great birthday. Yay! TRESSA: We love you. 244 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,275 Thank you. 245 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,576 L'chaim. Thank you. 246 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,911 TRESSA: Mazel. 247 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,380 Oh. Mmm. 248 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:15,215 I'm tipsy. (laughs) 249 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,950 (laughing): Aw. 250 00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,251 Bye, honey, love you. 251 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,653 Bye. I love you, too. 252 00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:27,527 Hi. Hi. 253 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,864 Uh, I would, uh... 254 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,133 I would like to join you this weekend. 255 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,468 Um, very much so. 256 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:39,406 So, uh, just wanted to say that, okay? 257 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,575 I'm, uh, hanging up now. 258 00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:43,844 Bye. 259 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,580 Where are you going? 260 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,249 I'm packing. 261 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,483 Mom, where are you going? 262 00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:52,119 Bitch, I'm going to the moon. 263 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,954 My God, Mom, that's so offensive. 264 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,089 I'm so fat. 265 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,124 Can't believe I have a boyfriend. 266 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,258 Who's staying with us? 267 00:10:58,291 --> 00:10:59,292 Stay with us what? 268 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,294 Susie. Mom, no way. 269 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,629 Wait, where are you going? 270 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,097 She's going to the moon, bitch. 271 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,398 Shut up, Frankie. 272 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:06,734 Mom, Mom, we don't need Susie. 273 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,268 I can watch everyone. 274 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,170 No. Mom, don't leave us with Susie. She sucks. 275 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,172 And don't leave us with Max. She's so much worse. 276 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,174 SAM: Fine. Then no one's coming. 277 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,809 I don't care. 278 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,610 Can I have a couple friends over? Not a party. 279 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:18,846 I don't care. 280 00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,180 Run away while I'm gone. 281 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,282 I don't care about any of it. 282 00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,417 There's nothing in this house that's worth anything to me, 283 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,953 except the art. 284 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,955 Don't mess with my paintings. Good-bye. 285 00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,356 MAX: Mom, I don't get what your problem is. 286 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,623 You're my problem. 287 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,559 You're insane. 288 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,161 Why'd you say "I'm going to the moon, bitch"? 289 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,863 FRANKIE: I don't know. She said it to me. 290 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,630 MAX: Mom, you're not serious, are you? 291 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,199 FRANKIE: Mom, you still have to take me to Chloe's house 292 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,168 on Saturday. What are you doing at Chloe's? 293 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,536 I just want to know. Well, what are you gonna do with your friends? 294 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,172 Mom, this is child abandonment. 295 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,706 We're like orphans now. 296 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,375 I don't care. 297 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,043 You guys can move out 298 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,812 and get an apartment together when I'm gone. 299 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:53,380 Seriously. 300 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,415 I'll cosign the lease right now to make that happen. 301 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,450 MAX: Oh, my God, Mom, it is so mean 302 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:58,786 that you're saying that to me, Mom. 303 00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:00,587 Wait, Mom. Mom, did you mean it? 304 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:01,922 I want to get an apartment. 305 00:12:01,955 --> 00:12:04,391 Mom! 306 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,794 Mom! 307 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,100 (tires screech) 308 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,171 Yoo-hoo! 309 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,607 (stammers) 310 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:35,022 So, what do you do when you have a minute to yourself? 311 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,924 Oh. 312 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,691 I drink alcohol and I sleep. 313 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:40,393 (laughs) 314 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,230 If I have two minutes, I watch murder shows on cable. 315 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:47,167 Oh. Murder like Law & Order or murder like real murder? 316 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,636 Oh, no, only ever real murder. 317 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,940 I could jack off to real people being murdered for hours. 318 00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,075 Why do you like murder so much? 319 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,709 I don't know. 320 00:12:56,743 --> 00:12:59,479 I, uh, fantasize about being murdered. 321 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,747 You do? 322 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,782 Yeah. 323 00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,853 I mean, it feels like I'm being murdered every day 324 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,655 in a vague way that no one could prosecute anyone for, 325 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,858 so when I see these stories 326 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:13,226 about the lady who gets her head chopped off, 327 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,362 and they find hairs on the guy's knife 328 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:16,796 and he gets put away for life, 329 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,299 that's, like, very satisfying, you know? 330 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,801 Nope. 331 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:23,170 No? You don't get it. 332 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,637 (laughing): No, I get it. I do. 333 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,940 (laughing): You... come on. I do. Sorry. 334 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,641 (both laughing) 335 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,477 Oh. 336 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:34,781 Yeah, the year that, uh, Mia's mom took off was really bad. 337 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,750 Yeah. Yeah, really, really bad. 338 00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:41,121 I had a cool job, but the money wasn't huge, 339 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,356 so I had to quit it so I could concentrate more 340 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,159 on earning and-and raising her. 341 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,261 Mm. But, I mean, it's nothing 342 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,597 compared to what Mia suffered, though. 343 00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,500 Well, losing her mom... 344 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:57,470 It would've been a whole lot easier if we had lost her. 345 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,773 I swear, if... if her mom was dead, 346 00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:02,842 i-it would be so much easier 347 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,979 than knowing that her mother is alive, out there, 348 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,181 just completely not giving a shit. 349 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:11,118 You know, there's a limit to how much I can explain that to her. 350 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,687 I'm right there with you, buddy. 351 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,190 Well, a-anyway, that's, that's what I think is good 352 00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,859 about having kids because, 353 00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:22,562 you know, no matter what is happening with you, 354 00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,297 you can only care about it so much 355 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,666 when you see how they deal with it. Yeah. 356 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,335 Mia is amazing. 357 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,337 She really showed me how to cope. 358 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,806 (sighs heavily) 359 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,875 Yeah. 360 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:41,014 * Ooh 361 00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:45,018 * Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh 362 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,419 * Ooh, ooh... 363 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:47,955 That was a really lovely thing you did, 364 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:49,189 when you touched the flower there. 365 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,190 Why'd you do that? 366 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,624 Why do you think? 367 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:54,928 'Cause there's a bee, maybe? 368 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:57,164 Yes, Robin, a bee. 369 00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:59,199 (both laugh) 370 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:06,839 * In time she'll see that her and me * 371 00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:10,810 * Were meant to be together 372 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:17,217 * And time will pass, it may go fast * 373 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,353 * But we'll still be 374 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,922 * Together 375 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:27,260 * It's easy love, fits like a glove * 376 00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:30,030 * From up above 377 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,532 * Together 378 00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:37,971 * Together... 379 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:41,841 Mmm, fruity with a wet stone finish. 380 00:15:41,874 --> 00:15:43,243 Hmm. 381 00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,378 I'm not getting wet stone. Are you? 382 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,080 A little. Hmm. 383 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,915 (clicks tongue) It's not fair. 384 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,084 There's no wet stone in mine. 385 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,553 (chuckles) Have another sip-- it may show up. 386 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,188 I think it will. 387 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:56,656 Mmm. 388 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,259 SAM (deep voice): Hello. 389 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,728 (both laugh) 390 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,766 (gasps softly) 391 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,835 (chuckles) 392 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,737 (exhales): Oh... 393 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,507 Hey, so, where are we staying tonight? 394 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,177 Oh. 395 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,246 It's a surprise. 396 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,813 Really? 397 00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,449 Yeah. 398 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,651 Oh. Well, the thing (chuckles) 399 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:27,787 about that is I hate surprises very, very much. 400 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,422 Well, if you're gonna be 401 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:32,992 with me, you'll get lots of surprises. 402 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:36,196 O... kay. 403 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,365 So, where are we staying? 404 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,534 (chuckles) 405 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,270 Are you worried about being with me? 406 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,937 Are you scared of me or something? 407 00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,706 (laughs): No. 408 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:48,141 Not at all. 409 00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:49,909 Do you... do you... do you want to know 410 00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,844 why I'm asking where we're staying? 411 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,313 Sure. 412 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,914 Well, because... 413 00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:58,485 I want to call ahead and book myself a room. 414 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:02,289 So, did you book us two rooms or one? 415 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,956 One room. 416 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:06,025 I... I mean, I... 417 00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:08,128 I wasn't presuming anything... 418 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,629 Oh, no, no, no. 419 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:11,298 I know that, Robin. 420 00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:13,100 It's not that. You're fine. 421 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:16,069 I just... I wanted to give us a break 422 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,670 and take a little pressure off, 423 00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,207 because, you know, 424 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,209 if-if I get a room and you get a room, 425 00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,477 then we could both do whatever we want. 426 00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:28,348 If we only have one room, then we can only do one thing. 427 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,151 Do you know what I'm saying, buddy? 428 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,619 (chuckles nervously) 429 00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,056 Oh, my God. I'm not trying to make things awkward, 430 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,425 I'm really not, I just... 431 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,992 was hoping that... 432 00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:42,162 by now that you would tell me 433 00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:47,033 so I could call ahead... and make accommodations for myself, 434 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,602 but it turns out that I had to ask, so... Ah. 435 00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:52,472 um... Okay, okay. Wow. (chuckles) 436 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:56,509 Now, I planned this trip very carefully, and... 437 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,111 I was excited to... 438 00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:00,880 surprise you with every stage of it. 439 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,116 So... 440 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,985 this is a bit of an ice pack to my balls... 441 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,554 to tell you the truth. 442 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,624 Oh. 443 00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:14,161 Well, I didn't mean to ice-pack your balls. 444 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,696 I was just trying... No, it's okay. It's okay. 445 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,401 Okay. 446 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,536 We're staying at the Redwood Inn. 447 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:24,604 Okay. Thanks. 448 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,706 And I will call... 449 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,376 I will book you a separate room. 450 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,711 Thanks. 451 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,446 I'm going to the bathroom. 452 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,881 Oh. Yeah. 453 00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:36,783 It's okay. 454 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:43,923 Mm. 455 00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,894 (exhales) 456 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,432 That's fun stuff. 457 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,767 Mm-hmm. 458 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,269 Mmm. 459 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,942 That's a bit of an ice pack to my balls. 460 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,511 Mm. 461 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,118 I'm pretty hungry. 462 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,955 I'm excited about eating food and stuff. 463 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,458 (groans): Oh. It's, like... 464 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,294 sometimes my levels of... 465 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,930 (clicks tongue) not having food in my body 466 00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,999 just get to a low point. 467 00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:41,548 (singing unintelligibly with thick country accent) 468 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,786 (rhythmic grunting) 469 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,892 (singing along): * I'm just cruising with nowhere to go * 470 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,662 * I'm hitting corners, I'm just cruising with nowhere to go * 471 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,197 * I'm all in Compton and I'm cruising with nowhere to go * 472 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,600 * I hit the hood, I'm just cruising with nowhere to go * 473 00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,435 * I'm just dippin' 474 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,203 * I'm just cruising down this little mall * 475 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,639 * Looking for a bad one, tank full of gas... * 476 00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:09,309 WAITER: And we have a really nice venison steak tonight. 477 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,010 The chef, uh, recommends it 478 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,111 medium rare. 479 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,480 It comes with the collard greens 480 00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:15,382 and a truffled mashed sweet potato. 481 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,550 I'll give you guys a minute while I bring your drinks, okay? 482 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:18,818 Okay. Thank you. 483 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,920 (clears throat loudly) 484 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,155 Venison. Oh! 485 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:25,392 I love venison. 486 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,394 I love to eat deer 487 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,729 and sheep and all the cute animals. 488 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,698 So good. 489 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,199 This place is so cute. 490 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,867 I love the decor. 491 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,537 It's, like, Navajo theme, 492 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,540 like, safari, gold rush... 493 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,410 Some beer steins over there. 494 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,712 Mandolins... everywhere. 495 00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,547 I don't know why those are here. 496 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,181 It's kind of cool. 497 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,183 It's, like, when a place feels, like, old-fashioned 498 00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,985 and modern at the same time. 499 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,654 There's this place in the valley... 500 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:55,955 I'm really sorry. 501 00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,191 For what? 502 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:00,560 For the hotel thing. 503 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,162 Oh. No, no, no. 504 00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,731 Robin, it's okay. 505 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,600 No, no, it's not okay. 506 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,736 It's really shitty of me. 507 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:13,506 I mean, I've been thinking about this all this time, 508 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,443 and it's killing me that I did that. 509 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:19,412 I mean, if I were you, I would probably be... 510 00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:22,949 thinking of how I could escape and go home. 511 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:25,217 I don't know, Sam. 512 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,554 I'm really sorry. 513 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:30,089 (sighs) I-I'm so dumb. 514 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,291 You were really looking out for us 515 00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,060 by wanting that other room. 516 00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:36,863 That was very, very smart. 517 00:21:36,896 --> 00:21:39,432 And all I could think of... 518 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,568 was that you were... 519 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,936 taking something away from me 520 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:47,640 and ruining my surprise, like I'm a little baby boy. 521 00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,576 (chuckles softly) 522 00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,611 And now I'm having to dump all this on you, 523 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:53,145 like we have to have 524 00:21:53,179 --> 00:21:54,914 this shitty thing now, and we're not even 525 00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:56,315 in a thing yet. 526 00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:59,318 And I'm just... I'm ruining all the fun. 527 00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,488 No. Robin, I-I just... 528 00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:02,655 No, no, no, 529 00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,957 Sam, I-I messed up. 530 00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:06,893 And... look, 531 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:10,397 I really want to get this right. 532 00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,165 I don't know if it's gonna be anything between us. 533 00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,001 I-I have no idea. 534 00:22:15,034 --> 00:22:16,335 (takes deep breath) 535 00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:18,137 But I don't want it to stop 536 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:21,173 because of me being my stupid old self. 537 00:22:21,207 --> 00:22:22,442 You know? 538 00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:25,244 I've had my bad episodes. 539 00:22:25,277 --> 00:22:28,981 I have old scars, a lot of self-inflicted wounds. 540 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,451 You know when you see yourself... 541 00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:34,587 making the same dumb mistakes 542 00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:36,689 over and over again? 543 00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:37,990 Sure. 544 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:40,660 Sure, I get it. This is... 545 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,194 probably not... 546 00:22:42,228 --> 00:22:45,698 the last time I'll do something stupid again. 547 00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:49,536 I mean, do you think you could hang in there with me a little? 548 00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:53,172 Maybe give me some time to get better at it? 549 00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,708 Even if... if I was... 550 00:22:55,742 --> 00:22:57,276 (sighs): Aw, shit. 551 00:22:57,309 --> 00:22:58,811 I'm blowing this. 552 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:00,413 Am I blowing it? 553 00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:04,316 Are you kidding me? 554 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:08,788 Robin... 555 00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:11,090 Yeah? 556 00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:17,296 I've been holding in ten gallons of piss since the vineyard. 557 00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:18,898 (whispers): Oh. 558 00:23:18,931 --> 00:23:20,567 I'm gonna go to the bathroom, 559 00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,735 and when I come back... 560 00:23:22,769 --> 00:23:24,671 we're gonna start over. 561 00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:26,105 Okay? 562 00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:28,307 Yeah. All right. 563 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:29,408 Okay. 564 00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:30,710 Okay. 565 00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:33,580 (The Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses" plays) 566 00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:41,187 * After we die 567 00:23:41,220 --> 00:23:44,323 (exhales) (urinating) 568 00:23:44,356 --> 00:23:47,660 * Wild horses 569 00:23:47,694 --> 00:23:50,429 (exhales) 570 00:23:50,463 --> 00:23:53,700 * Couldn't drag me away 571 00:23:56,703 --> 00:23:58,270 * Wild 572 00:23:58,304 --> 00:24:01,273 * Wild horses 573 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:06,579 * We'll ride them someday... 574 00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:11,584 (sighs) 575 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,620 * 576 00:24:36,408 --> 00:24:38,344 * Wild 577 00:24:38,377 --> 00:24:41,781 * Horses 578 00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:46,118 * Couldn't drag me away 579 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:48,420 * 580 00:24:48,454 --> 00:24:50,456 * Wild 581 00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:53,425 * Wild horses... 582 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,396 (record needle skipping) 583 00:25:01,467 --> 00:25:02,735 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 584 00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,677 I have to eat this onion? 585 00:25:10,710 --> 00:25:12,645 -Honey, trust me. -(sighs) 586 00:25:12,679 --> 00:25:16,515 Your mom knows. It's time for you to learn these secrets. 587 00:25:21,487 --> 00:25:24,290 -How does this help? -It doesn't. Ha! 588 00:25:24,323 --> 00:25:26,325 ANNOUNCER: Better Things. Oh, my God. 589 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,494 All new Thursdays at 10:00 on FX. 590 00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:37,336 ANNOUNCER: American Horror Story: Cult. 591 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,305 All new, Tuesdays at 10:00 on FX. 592 00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:43,810 Are you a fan of poetry? 593 00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:48,815 "We shall not go gentle into this good night." 594 00:25:48,848 --> 00:25:50,717 If you know what I mean. 595 00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,351 (stool scrapes)