1 00:00:12,643 --> 00:00:15,176 - Seriously, you're gonna have to go faster. - [Groaning] 2 00:00:15,243 --> 00:00:17,676 - I'm pregnant. - Did you just say pregnant? 3 00:00:17,743 --> 00:00:19,043 Hi. 4 00:00:19,110 --> 00:00:21,010 You've got what's called cervical dysplasia. 5 00:00:21,076 --> 00:00:23,810 - What the hell is that? - It's what we call a pre-cancer. 6 00:00:23,876 --> 00:00:26,010 - Cancer! - I think you should marry me. 7 00:00:26,076 --> 00:00:28,543 [Chuckles] What? 8 00:00:28,610 --> 00:00:30,343 - [Groaning] - Oh, god! Hurry up! 9 00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:31,776 I'm not gonna come! 10 00:00:33,176 --> 00:00:35,276 ** 11 00:01:08,843 --> 00:01:11,643 [man farts] 12 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:28,110 - Hi. - Hi. 13 00:01:28,176 --> 00:01:31,343 - Do you wanna go for a walk? - Sure. Where do you wanna go? 14 00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:33,976 No, I mean, do you wanna go for a walk? 15 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:36,410 [Chuckles] Oh, you mean on my own? 16 00:01:36,476 --> 00:01:38,443 [Laughs] Yeah. I don't want to be mean. 17 00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:41,843 I just need some space, and you take up a lot of space. 18 00:01:41,910 --> 00:01:43,776 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 19 00:01:43,843 --> 00:01:45,243 You're the second biggest thing in this flat after the bed. 20 00:01:45,310 --> 00:01:46,543 You're bigger than the wardrobe. 21 00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:48,243 That's because your wardrobe is a joke. 22 00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,476 It's not a joke. It's roomy and practical. 23 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:53,276 If it's so roomy, then why are my clothes still in my suitcase. 24 00:01:53,343 --> 00:01:54,943 It's roomy for my stuff. 25 00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:56,743 You let me put my penis in your mouth, 26 00:01:56,810 --> 00:01:59,110 but you won't let me put my t-shirts in your drawer? 27 00:01:59,110 --> 00:02:02,710 [Laughs] Please don't rush me, rob. 28 00:02:02,776 --> 00:02:04,876 Okay. How long do you want me to go out for? 29 00:02:04,943 --> 00:02:06,676 Just, you know. You decide. 30 00:02:06,743 --> 00:02:09,843 Just... couple of hours or half a day. Not long. 31 00:02:09,910 --> 00:02:12,110 So I'll just go get some coffee. 32 00:02:12,176 --> 00:02:15,710 Yeah, but, I mean, don't just get a coffee and come back. 33 00:02:15,776 --> 00:02:17,476 Maybe go and see a movie. 34 00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:19,843 - It's 8:30 in the morning. - Well, I don't know. 35 00:02:19,910 --> 00:02:22,976 Just improvise. There's a whole world out there. 36 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:24,576 Okay. I'll get some groceries. 37 00:02:24,643 --> 00:02:25,310 Yeah. 38 00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:26,710 You're out of mint tea 39 00:02:26,776 --> 00:02:28,810 and those weird raw food bars that you like. 40 00:02:33,243 --> 00:02:37,110 - So, I'll just head out then. - Take your time. 41 00:02:41,643 --> 00:02:43,810 Get out of the way, fucking idiot. 42 00:02:43,876 --> 00:02:46,110 Jesus! 43 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:10,376 - What are you looking at? - A dog's shitting asshole? 44 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:18,110 [Ringtone chiming] 45 00:03:19,743 --> 00:03:22,143 - Hey, mom. - Hey, baby, how you doing? 46 00:03:22,210 --> 00:03:24,176 What time is it there? Are you okay? 47 00:03:24,243 --> 00:03:26,810 Oh, yeah, it's 4 A.M., and I couldn't sleep, so-- 48 00:03:26,876 --> 00:03:31,476 I finally looked up this thing on the Internet, 49 00:03:31,543 --> 00:03:33,476 and you do not have to stay there. 50 00:03:33,543 --> 00:03:35,443 It's a different country. 51 00:03:35,510 --> 00:03:38,843 They can't extradite you for failure to pay child support. 52 00:03:38,910 --> 00:03:40,910 It's not like it's a war crime. 53 00:03:40,976 --> 00:03:42,643 It's just a foreign baby. 54 00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:45,643 It's not a foreign baby. It's my baby. 55 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:48,843 Your grandson, i might add, so I can, 56 00:03:48,910 --> 00:03:50,410 at the very least, give it a shot. 57 00:03:50,476 --> 00:03:53,010 - Your father didn't. - Jesus, mom. 58 00:03:53,110 --> 00:03:56,110 - What does that have to do with-- - [Phone beeps] 59 00:03:56,176 --> 00:03:58,976 Mom, I gotta go. It's a guy I was trying to call. 60 00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,376 - I'll call you back. - Rob! 61 00:04:01,443 --> 00:04:03,643 That fucker hung up on me. 62 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,776 - Hey, Dave, - rob Norris! 63 00:04:05,843 --> 00:04:07,276 You pants-shitting homo! 64 00:04:07,343 --> 00:04:08,876 What's happening, man? You live here now? 65 00:04:08,943 --> 00:04:10,643 Yeah, for the time being. 66 00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:14,010 - Is it for work? - Well, it was at first, 67 00:04:14,110 --> 00:04:16,576 but I wound up getting a girl pregnant. 68 00:04:16,643 --> 00:04:19,910 Whoa, you mean, like, underage? 69 00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:21,543 - No. - Well, you said girl. 70 00:04:21,610 --> 00:04:24,843 I meant woman, an adult woman. A teacher. 71 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:26,110 [Laughs] 72 00:04:26,143 --> 00:04:28,843 Oh, god, that fucking sucks, dude. 73 00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:29,976 Not really. 74 00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:31,376 You need a job? You need money? 75 00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,276 No, I have a job. 76 00:04:33,343 --> 00:04:35,110 I'm calling 'cause i don't know anybody here. 77 00:04:35,143 --> 00:04:37,010 Shit, man! Let's get together. 78 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,143 Your situation sounds fucking awful. 79 00:04:39,210 --> 00:04:40,710 I'd love to hear more about it. 80 00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:44,110 Well, great. Can I come over now? 81 00:04:44,110 --> 00:04:46,943 No. I gotta go to the Ukraine for business from a couple of days. 82 00:04:47,010 --> 00:04:48,443 Let's do something when I get back. 83 00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:50,010 Hey! You like the ballet? 84 00:04:50,110 --> 00:04:52,410 - Yeah, sure. - Fag! 85 00:04:52,476 --> 00:04:54,143 I'll call you when I'm back from Odessa. 86 00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,676 [Sighs] Oh, god. 87 00:05:07,876 --> 00:05:09,710 [Door closes, keys jingle] 88 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,143 - I know I was only gone an hour-- - 50 minutes. 89 00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,543 ...but I bought you one of these. 90 00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:16,643 It's bread, but it's all wrapped up like a present, 91 00:05:16,710 --> 00:05:18,310 and it only cost 17.50. 92 00:05:18,376 --> 00:05:20,576 [Laughs] 93 00:05:20,643 --> 00:05:21,743 I love it. 94 00:05:24,210 --> 00:05:27,110 And... 95 00:05:27,176 --> 00:05:30,176 - Ta-da! - Oh, that's so sweet. 96 00:05:30,243 --> 00:05:32,310 I know, I'm selfless. 97 00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:38,710 - What are you doing? - I'm just being dainty. 98 00:05:38,776 --> 00:05:42,110 - You're squashing me. - Really? How? I'm just a sprite. 99 00:05:42,110 --> 00:05:43,810 Really, seriously, you're hurting my arm. 100 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:46,376 - Just get off. - Okay, sorry. 101 00:05:46,443 --> 00:05:48,710 ** 102 00:05:48,776 --> 00:05:51,810 [bell rings] 103 00:05:51,876 --> 00:05:55,343 In fact, it was such a long and brutal war 104 00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:57,276 that some people even resorted 105 00:05:57,343 --> 00:05:59,343 to digging up bodies and eating them 106 00:05:59,410 --> 00:06:02,110 - just to stay alive. - [Kids chuckle] 107 00:06:02,176 --> 00:06:06,010 Oh, you think that's funny? Well, let's hope you never have to choose between 108 00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:08,243 digging up your grandmother and making a sandwich out for her 109 00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:09,843 or starving to death, Jason. 110 00:06:09,910 --> 00:06:11,676 [Kids laugh] 111 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,276 I think it's amazing what you're doing. 112 00:06:18,343 --> 00:06:20,543 - What am I doing? - You're just like, 113 00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:22,210 "fuck it. I'm single, I'm getting old, 114 00:06:22,276 --> 00:06:23,443 "and I'm just going to have this baby, 115 00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:26,110 because I'm the boss of my life." 116 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:29,710 I'm not doing it on my own. Rob asked me to marry him, so I'm going to do that. 117 00:06:29,776 --> 00:06:31,376 I thought it was just a one-night thing? 118 00:06:31,443 --> 00:06:34,643 It was six nights. He was a six-night thing. 119 00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:36,776 [Scoffs] Why do you want to get married? 120 00:06:36,843 --> 00:06:39,243 Because I'm pregnant. 121 00:06:39,310 --> 00:06:41,176 If I got married every time I got pregnant-- 122 00:06:41,243 --> 00:06:42,743 [chuckles] Do you know what I mean? 123 00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:46,310 - It's not the 1930s. - No, it's the 2000s. 124 00:06:46,376 --> 00:06:48,510 There's like 300 wars happening around the globe. 125 00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:51,010 I might like someone to shovel a path for me 126 00:06:51,110 --> 00:06:53,343 and my baby in the nuclear winter. 127 00:06:53,410 --> 00:06:56,110 Well, just don't rush into it. 128 00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:57,976 Have you seen the new deputy head? 129 00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:00,976 Tell me you don't want to squat on his face? 130 00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:03,910 If you're married, you won't be able to do that. 131 00:07:03,976 --> 00:07:06,243 Yeah, I will. It'll just be harder. 132 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:09,176 [Laughs] Show us the ring, then. 133 00:07:09,243 --> 00:07:11,543 Do you like it? I don't have one. 134 00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:16,410 - [Phone chimes] - That was my friend. 135 00:07:16,476 --> 00:07:18,943 That was just my friend Dave texting 136 00:07:19,010 --> 00:07:20,176 to invite me over tonight. 137 00:07:20,243 --> 00:07:22,110 Oh, you don't have any friends. 138 00:07:22,143 --> 00:07:25,243 I've changed. I have friends now. I'm putting down roots. 139 00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,643 Who knows, your brother and I might hit it off 140 00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:29,010 and be friends, too. 141 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:31,910 We might be better than friends. Be more like brothers. 142 00:07:31,976 --> 00:07:33,576 Well, that would make you my brother. 143 00:07:33,643 --> 00:07:35,943 Hey, love doesn't follow rules. 144 00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:39,343 Ha! I don't love you. 145 00:07:40,876 --> 00:07:43,476 - Are you going to keep it? - Oh, I don't know? 146 00:07:43,543 --> 00:07:45,943 - Are you going to keep yours? - I've already invested in them. 147 00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:48,176 They've got braces and stuff now. They're worth money. 148 00:07:48,243 --> 00:07:50,743 I hate to break it to you, "Mr. three kids before you're 30," 149 00:07:50,810 --> 00:07:53,276 but they're a little bit harder to make when you're old. 150 00:07:53,343 --> 00:07:55,643 Older. You know, i can't just rip it out 151 00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:58,710 and plant another one back up there when the time's right. 152 00:07:58,776 --> 00:08:01,110 I'm just bowled over by your whole new life here with Ron. 153 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,843 - It's rob. - Oh, sorry. 154 00:08:03,910 --> 00:08:06,476 But I just want you to know, if anything goes wrong 155 00:08:06,543 --> 00:08:08,343 and you do succumb to the cancer, 156 00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:10,476 your son will have a home here. 157 00:08:10,543 --> 00:08:12,276 Millandra and i will raise him. 158 00:08:12,343 --> 00:08:14,676 - You're having a boy? - Yeah. Yeah. 159 00:08:14,743 --> 00:08:16,343 Oh, you are having a boy! That's great! 160 00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:18,410 We'll absolutely raise him, in that case. 161 00:08:18,476 --> 00:08:21,910 - Well, don't get too excited. - He's just winding you up. 162 00:08:21,976 --> 00:08:23,943 - So, rob, are you working here? - Yes. 163 00:08:24,010 --> 00:08:25,976 I work for a U.S. advertising firm, 164 00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,376 and I'm opening a London office. 165 00:08:28,443 --> 00:08:29,876 A lot of our clients want an agency that has a presence 166 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,276 in both the U.S. and Europe. 167 00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:32,876 Right. Right. Who are your clients? 168 00:08:32,943 --> 00:08:34,910 Well, you know, it's not sexy stuff. 169 00:08:34,976 --> 00:08:36,443 You might not know them by name, 170 00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:38,876 but we have a giant farm equipment company. 171 00:08:38,943 --> 00:08:40,543 Who else have you got? 172 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:43,243 Well, I've just started working 173 00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:44,876 with a company called Jeff's cola. 174 00:08:44,943 --> 00:08:47,876 Oh, Jeff's cola. 175 00:08:47,943 --> 00:08:49,476 Fuck, Sharon. 176 00:08:49,543 --> 00:08:50,810 I think you might be in trouble here, 177 00:08:50,876 --> 00:08:52,276 it sounds like he's making this shit up. 178 00:08:52,343 --> 00:08:55,110 I know, it's a funny name but-- 179 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:56,176 I'm just taking the piss. 180 00:08:56,243 --> 00:09:00,376 So, rob, you got my sister pregnant. 181 00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:01,843 A lot of people get married in that situation. 182 00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:04,476 - What are you thinking? - We are getting married. 183 00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:06,110 Well, we're not. 184 00:09:06,143 --> 00:09:08,976 We are getting married, because I asked Sharon to marry me. 185 00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:10,743 Yeah, but not really. 186 00:09:10,810 --> 00:09:13,676 You know, it was more sort of jokey, you know, and a bit-- 187 00:09:13,743 --> 00:09:17,110 anyway. Whatever. 188 00:09:17,143 --> 00:09:18,543 Don't tell mum and dad about any of this. 189 00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:22,443 Are you joking? This would kill them both. 190 00:09:22,510 --> 00:09:24,876 One funeral at a time here. Huh? 191 00:09:24,943 --> 00:09:29,710 [Both laughing] 192 00:09:30,843 --> 00:09:32,776 [Car horn beeps] 193 00:09:32,843 --> 00:09:36,476 - That was for these. - Congratulations. 194 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,143 Why did you deny we were getting married back there? 195 00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:40,810 - I didn't really, did I? - You did. 196 00:09:40,876 --> 00:09:43,110 - You denied it repeatedly. - I don't know. 197 00:09:43,143 --> 00:09:45,710 - I'm embarrassed. - By me? 198 00:09:45,776 --> 00:09:48,410 No. Not by you, by me. 199 00:09:48,476 --> 00:09:51,476 By my situation. There's just no dignity to it. 200 00:09:51,543 --> 00:09:54,476 It's like if a normal courtship's a dance, 201 00:09:54,543 --> 00:09:56,343 then ours is like a heart attack 202 00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:57,976 or a seizure or something. 203 00:09:58,110 --> 00:09:59,410 Our story sounds like a letter 204 00:09:59,476 --> 00:10:01,476 some sad sack wrote in to"chat" magazine. 205 00:10:01,543 --> 00:10:05,176 - I don't know what that is. - It's a shit rag that idiots, 206 00:10:05,243 --> 00:10:07,443 and sometimes me, read so they can say, 207 00:10:07,510 --> 00:10:09,743 "well, thank fuck that isn't happening to me." 208 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,243 Well, I get it. It's just that 209 00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:13,376 when I asked you to marry me, you said yes. 210 00:10:13,443 --> 00:10:15,676 I said fine, and there was no ring. 211 00:10:15,743 --> 00:10:17,510 - I'll get you a ring. - I don't need a-- 212 00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,010 I'm just worried that we're doing this 213 00:10:20,076 --> 00:10:22,210 because of the pregnancy and the visas 214 00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:24,843 and the not-cancer, and that's it. 215 00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:26,510 I mean, if you had any friends, 216 00:10:26,576 --> 00:10:28,776 they would be advising you not to jump into it like this. 217 00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:33,476 I know mine have. Seriously, has no-one told you just to slow it down? 218 00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:35,243 Ok, well, let's slow it down. 219 00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:37,143 We'll add some dignity to this. 220 00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:39,110 Let's go to dinner Friday night. 221 00:10:39,176 --> 00:10:40,810 We can go to a nice restaurant 222 00:10:40,876 --> 00:10:42,343 and then go have sex in a park. 223 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,543 Does that sound nice? 224 00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:47,310 And if one of us brings up pregnancy 225 00:10:47,376 --> 00:10:49,110 or visas or pre-cancer or anything, 226 00:10:49,176 --> 00:10:52,076 then the other one can punch them in the face across the table. 227 00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:53,843 Okay. 228 00:10:55,076 --> 00:10:57,076 Did you like my brother? 229 00:10:57,143 --> 00:10:59,110 - Did I like him? - Yeah. 230 00:10:59,176 --> 00:11:00,310 No. 231 00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:08,243 Rob Norris, you're unreal, man. 232 00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:11,143 You're like an American sex wolf in London. 233 00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:15,376 You come over here, you fuck all the women, you get them pregnant. 234 00:11:15,443 --> 00:11:17,410 - It's just one woman. - Yeah, for now it is. 235 00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:19,843 You'll strike again. You'd better watch this one, honey. 236 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:22,943 He'll get you pregnant just by looking at you with his dick! 237 00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,243 What's the matter with you? 238 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:26,676 You hungry? You want some ice cream, some cookies? 239 00:11:26,743 --> 00:11:28,910 - No, thanks, i-- - svetsana, would you get 240 00:11:28,976 --> 00:11:30,010 some of those cookies i made before? 241 00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:31,110 You're going to love these, man. 242 00:11:31,176 --> 00:11:32,343 They're gluten-free. 243 00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:33,643 You'll think you'll taste gluten, 244 00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:34,943 but there isn't any. 245 00:11:35,010 --> 00:11:39,410 - Wow! - Now, have you thought about-- 246 00:11:39,476 --> 00:11:41,943 killing Sharon? You know, I thought about it-- 247 00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:44,010 no, I mean, getting rid of the-- 248 00:11:44,110 --> 00:11:46,310 yeah, no, we're not going to do that. 249 00:11:46,376 --> 00:11:48,710 Actually, we're getting married. 250 00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:52,210 Wow! Have you asked her yet? 251 00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:53,743 Well, yeah, I asked her, 252 00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:57,310 but I've got to do it again, 'cause-- thank you. 253 00:11:57,376 --> 00:12:00,410 The first time was kind of seat of the pants 254 00:12:00,476 --> 00:12:02,576 and I didn't have a ring, so-- 255 00:12:02,643 --> 00:12:04,576 whoa! She's making you propose twice? 256 00:12:04,643 --> 00:12:07,776 - No, she's not making me. I want to. - No, you don't. 257 00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:11,876 Listen, after you leave, I'm going to fuck her, 258 00:12:11,943 --> 00:12:13,610 and then she's going to leave. 259 00:12:13,676 --> 00:12:17,310 - And that's pretty great! - That is great... for you. 260 00:12:17,376 --> 00:12:19,643 For me, a different thing is great. 261 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:21,243 Okay, well, suit yourself. 262 00:12:21,310 --> 00:12:23,610 But listen, if that's what you want to do, 263 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,310 then at least don't waste any money on the wedding. 264 00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:28,443 You know, my outfit, we helped to refinance euro Disney. 265 00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:30,143 I can get your honeymoon there for free. 266 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:32,210 She'll shit! You said she's Irish? 267 00:12:32,276 --> 00:12:34,110 She'll think she's in fucking heaven. 268 00:12:37,710 --> 00:12:39,476 Oh, god, am I late? I thought-- 269 00:12:39,543 --> 00:12:42,676 no, no, I'm early. I thought if I got here early, 270 00:12:42,743 --> 00:12:44,410 they'd see that I'm the kind of woman 271 00:12:44,476 --> 00:12:45,543 who doesn't deserve pre-cancer. 272 00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:48,276 - That makes sense. - Yeah. 273 00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:52,443 Okay, so-- [Clears throat] 274 00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,810 I see you have cervical dysplasia. 275 00:12:54,876 --> 00:12:57,976 Well, we were hoping to get a second opinion on that, 276 00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,843 - because I've heard-- - no, I'm sure you have it. 277 00:13:03,343 --> 00:13:05,543 Uh, aren't you going to have a look? 278 00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:09,110 We will look, but that doesn't really get misdiagnosed. 279 00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:13,276 You have it or you don't. It's not like adhd or fibromyalgia, 280 00:13:13,343 --> 00:13:17,110 which are kind of, like, up to you if have them or not. 281 00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:18,643 No, it's a real-deal thing. 282 00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,643 - Fibromyalgia isn't real? - Rob! 283 00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:24,010 The other doctor said that i could have the procedure now 284 00:13:24,110 --> 00:13:25,710 and jeopardize the pregnancy, 285 00:13:25,776 --> 00:13:27,676 or I could wait and have it after I deliver. 286 00:13:27,743 --> 00:13:30,343 Ok, well, then, I'm glad you did come in, then, 287 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:33,210 because here's some good news. The trauma of vaginal birth 288 00:13:33,276 --> 00:13:35,376 can just blow all the cancer out 289 00:13:35,443 --> 00:13:38,843 as the baby and stuff comes out. 290 00:13:38,910 --> 00:13:40,476 - Baby and stuff? - Oh, yes. 291 00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:42,710 Yeah, all kinds of stuff comes out. 292 00:13:42,776 --> 00:13:46,243 You're lucky, it's just the one baby and some bad cells. 293 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:49,743 Could be triplets no, thanks, right? 294 00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:54,976 The birth process does take a proper scrubbing brush to the old cervix 295 00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:57,743 and can just remove all the creepy-crawlies, 296 00:13:57,810 --> 00:14:00,610 the dysplasia, making surgery unnecessary. 297 00:14:00,676 --> 00:14:01,910 Wow. 298 00:14:01,976 --> 00:14:04,376 Okay. 299 00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:06,643 So, I would strongly recommend against the surgery, 300 00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:08,676 since, you know, it could induce labor. 301 00:14:08,743 --> 00:14:10,776 And we really do not want that, do we? 302 00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:13,110 No. 303 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,343 Okay, I mean, how does that all sound? 304 00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:20,810 Is that, you know, second-opiniony enough for you? 305 00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,643 I'm not smoking it. 306 00:14:34,276 --> 00:14:36,310 Fucking 250 quid that cost! 307 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:39,610 Well, I mean, he did say he doesn't recommend surgery. 308 00:14:39,676 --> 00:14:42,710 Yeah, he also said, "think of it like a specter hanging over your pregnancy." 309 00:14:42,776 --> 00:14:46,643 What is that? The fucking occult? Like "Rosemary's baby"? 310 00:14:46,710 --> 00:14:49,376 No, he just meant, like, a black cloud or something, 311 00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:52,743 you know, out of a cauldron. 312 00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:54,476 Christ, what a mess. 313 00:14:54,543 --> 00:14:56,876 What a messy mess. 314 00:14:56,943 --> 00:14:59,443 Yeah, it is. 315 00:15:02,476 --> 00:15:05,976 You know, i think someone should say-- 316 00:15:06,110 --> 00:15:08,010 and it's going to be me-- 317 00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:09,743 you don't have to do this. 318 00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:12,343 You know, you've been really kind just coming over here 319 00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,010 and helping out, and I really appreciate it, 320 00:15:14,110 --> 00:15:17,810 but it's not the 1930s, you know? 321 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,610 I can do this on my own. 322 00:15:19,676 --> 00:15:22,210 I don't get the sense that you can. 323 00:15:22,276 --> 00:15:24,210 Or, you know what, you probably could. 324 00:15:24,276 --> 00:15:26,110 Women raise kids on their own all the time. 325 00:15:26,110 --> 00:15:30,410 But what about when you want to take a shit or get a haircut? 326 00:15:30,476 --> 00:15:34,010 And independent of that, can you, for a second, accept the fact 327 00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:37,276 that I like you and want to be with you, you fucking idiot? 328 00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:42,543 Well, thank fuck for that, because I really can't do this on my own. 329 00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:45,576 I really can't! I can tell you now, i cannot do this. 330 00:15:45,643 --> 00:15:47,776 Plus, we're going to do our date. 331 00:15:47,843 --> 00:15:50,210 You're goddamn right we are. 332 00:15:50,276 --> 00:15:53,110 Okay, well, text me the details. 333 00:15:53,143 --> 00:15:55,910 Going to go and teach some kids about the plague. 334 00:15:55,976 --> 00:15:57,810 - What are you doing? - Same. 335 00:15:57,876 --> 00:15:59,543 [Chuckles] 336 00:16:06,176 --> 00:16:08,310 Please, don't embarrass either of us 337 00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:09,976 by asking for permission to marry my sister. 338 00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:11,976 Okay, I just wanted to let you know 339 00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:13,310 that I'm serious about this, 340 00:16:13,376 --> 00:16:15,110 and it's not just because i got her pregnant. 341 00:16:15,110 --> 00:16:17,710 I'm not blind, man. I saw the way you were looking at her. 342 00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:18,810 You're fucked. 343 00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:21,410 - Your cappuccino. - Oh, thank you. 344 00:16:21,476 --> 00:16:24,576 Why are you having a cappuccino in a jewelry shop? 345 00:16:24,643 --> 00:16:26,810 Well, I think because I'm potentially about 346 00:16:26,876 --> 00:16:30,310 to spend a bit of dough here. They're trying to butter me up. 347 00:16:30,376 --> 00:16:32,743 This was the last one we were looking at. 348 00:16:32,810 --> 00:16:35,576 - Yes, I think this is the one. - It's a beautiful ring. 349 00:16:35,643 --> 00:16:38,310 If you'd like to follow me, Mr. Norris. 350 00:16:38,376 --> 00:16:41,243 Marie will bring your cappuccino. 351 00:16:41,310 --> 00:16:43,110 How much is that fucking thing? 352 00:16:43,143 --> 00:16:45,443 It's 2,000 pounds almost. 353 00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:46,543 It's a lot, 354 00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:48,510 but I want to do this. 355 00:16:48,576 --> 00:16:52,643 - May I get you a glass of wine? - No, you may not. 356 00:16:52,710 --> 00:16:54,676 Looking at countries, cities, population-- 357 00:16:54,743 --> 00:16:59,476 anyone that comes up with flags gets an extra point. 358 00:16:59,543 --> 00:17:02,743 Hi, yeah, there's going to be a fire drill in ten minutes. 359 00:17:02,810 --> 00:17:06,010 Okay. Are you okay? 360 00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:08,510 Yeah. No, I just-- i was just thinking 361 00:17:08,576 --> 00:17:11,910 about what you said the other day, 362 00:17:11,976 --> 00:17:13,443 and I can't do this on my own. 363 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,276 - I do need a man. - Can we maybe just-- 364 00:17:15,343 --> 00:17:16,443 and that doesn't mean I'm not a feminist. 365 00:17:16,510 --> 00:17:17,910 I just need a person to help me, 366 00:17:17,976 --> 00:17:19,676 and the person who wants to help me happens to be a man. 367 00:17:19,743 --> 00:17:21,510 - Fine. - I don't care if it's the 2000s. 368 00:17:21,576 --> 00:17:23,243 I got home last night and he'd made me a frittata. 369 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:24,476 - Do you know what that is? - Mm-hmm. 370 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,410 It's an eggs thing. It was extremely tasty, 371 00:17:26,476 --> 00:17:28,310 and if that's the kind of behavior I can expect, 372 00:17:28,376 --> 00:17:31,310 then I definitely want him around, okay? 373 00:17:31,376 --> 00:17:35,110 - Okay. - Okay, I'll let you get on. 374 00:17:36,676 --> 00:17:39,410 - [Beeping] - Any weekend plans? 375 00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,943 Well, aside from asking my fiancée 376 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:44,176 to marry me again, i don't know. 377 00:17:44,243 --> 00:17:45,543 You know, we might go to the park. 378 00:17:45,610 --> 00:17:46,976 We were thinking we might-- 379 00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,110 wait-- what does that say? 380 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,843 Well, it says 25,000 pounds. 381 00:17:51,910 --> 00:17:53,176 - [Chuckles] - Okay. 382 00:17:53,243 --> 00:17:55,276 Is that tax or-- what's going on? 383 00:17:55,343 --> 00:17:58,110 - The ring is 25,000 pounds. - No, no, no, no. 384 00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:01,876 On the tag it said 1980, which is less. 385 00:18:01,943 --> 00:18:04,443 Marie, will you bring the ring 386 00:18:04,510 --> 00:18:07,410 from the first drawer, the Jill Solomon band? 387 00:18:12,110 --> 00:18:15,543 Any weekend plans? 388 00:18:15,610 --> 00:18:18,710 The rings are so close together in the case. 389 00:18:18,776 --> 00:18:21,343 I'm not saying that you tried to trick me or-- 390 00:18:21,410 --> 00:18:24,110 okay, yeah, i see the mistake. 391 00:18:24,143 --> 00:18:25,743 This is a classier ring. 392 00:18:25,810 --> 00:18:28,676 This is petiter, this is more Sharon, don't you think? 393 00:18:28,743 --> 00:18:31,843 I like the other ring, but I don't know. 394 00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:36,010 I mean, it's hard to say. I mean, this is more vulgar. 395 00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:38,743 I like the clarity of the stones, right? 396 00:18:38,810 --> 00:18:42,643 But this is-- you can see where this is. 397 00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:46,510 You put them side by side, it's not even a contest. 398 00:18:46,576 --> 00:18:50,243 Yeah, this I'm going to go with this one. 399 00:18:57,943 --> 00:19:01,176 [Ringtone chimes] 400 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,543 - Hey, mom. - Listen to me. 401 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,876 Susan Greenberg's husband, Mitchell, 402 00:19:06,943 --> 00:19:08,976 he's a custody lawyer, 403 00:19:09,110 --> 00:19:11,210 and he says what you absolutely cannot do 404 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,810 is marry this girl. 405 00:19:12,876 --> 00:19:15,810 The u.K. And the U.S., they have this agreement, 406 00:19:15,876 --> 00:19:20,243 which is called "the reciprocal enforcement." 407 00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:23,010 I can't hear you, I'm going into a tunnel. 408 00:19:23,110 --> 00:19:25,943 Oh, come on! You're going to ruin your life! 409 00:19:26,010 --> 00:19:27,676 Fucker. 410 00:19:27,743 --> 00:19:28,843 [Music, chatter] 411 00:19:28,910 --> 00:19:32,643 - Hey. - Oh, hi. 412 00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:35,110 - I'm sorry I'm late. - Did you say sorry? 413 00:19:35,143 --> 00:19:36,843 It's just I can't hear myself fart in here. 414 00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,443 My friend Dave said this was his favorite place for an intimate dinner. 415 00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,810 Really? I never want to ever meet him. 416 00:19:42,876 --> 00:19:47,510 There's a balcony where you can get a 360-degree view of the city. 417 00:19:49,910 --> 00:19:53,243 Sorry, sorry, can you just-- 418 00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:55,143 - what? - You just spilt my wine. 419 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:58,243 - You want another wine? - No, no. 420 00:19:58,310 --> 00:20:01,410 Just maybe mop it up or say "oops" or smile at me? 421 00:20:01,476 --> 00:20:03,776 I can't hear what you're saying. Are you ready to order? 422 00:20:03,843 --> 00:20:05,910 - Can I get a coke? - These tables are for food. 423 00:20:05,976 --> 00:20:07,676 Yep, and we're going to eat food, 424 00:20:07,743 --> 00:20:09,210 after we have our drinks. 425 00:20:11,876 --> 00:20:14,876 I should probably tell you i also got her pregnant. 426 00:20:14,943 --> 00:20:18,010 - That's why she's acting that way. - Swedish whore. 427 00:20:18,076 --> 00:20:20,110 She's just upset because she's 6'8" 428 00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:22,676 and a bunch of guys have already tried to climb her tonight. 429 00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:24,210 [Laughs] 430 00:20:24,276 --> 00:20:26,576 Good. I'm glad! 431 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,510 Your boobs look huge in that dress! 432 00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,010 If you'd had those when we met, 433 00:20:31,076 --> 00:20:32,543 I would have got you double pregnant. 434 00:20:32,610 --> 00:20:35,776 - Thank you. - Listen, if I play my cards right tonight, 435 00:20:35,843 --> 00:20:39,476 would you consider smothering me with them? 436 00:20:39,543 --> 00:20:43,976 Well, you know, it's not out of the question, I suppose. 437 00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:47,576 - We should head up to that balcony - Bobby, baby! 438 00:20:47,643 --> 00:20:50,610 Did I tell you this place was the shit or what? 439 00:20:50,676 --> 00:20:52,943 - What is what is that? - That is Dave. 440 00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:54,443 Hey, Dave, why are you here? 441 00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:56,343 Well, I wanted to meet this little 442 00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:58,410 - English enchantress of yours. - Irish. 443 00:20:58,476 --> 00:21:02,143 Oh, sorry, British. I'm just fucking with you. 444 00:21:02,210 --> 00:21:03,243 Do you mind if we join you? 445 00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:05,110 Have you tried the chili margaritas? 446 00:21:05,143 --> 00:21:07,310 Let me get anico. Anico, come on! 447 00:21:07,376 --> 00:21:10,543 And rob had his shirt on, 448 00:21:10,610 --> 00:21:12,710 but no bottom and no underpants, 449 00:21:12,776 --> 00:21:18,676 and the girl who was on his shoulders was naked. 450 00:21:18,743 --> 00:21:22,910 Oh, this is before rob decided he had alcoholism, when he was still fun. 451 00:21:22,976 --> 00:21:25,710 I'm just going to go to the bathroom. 452 00:21:25,776 --> 00:21:29,310 So, Dave if you're gone when I get back, nice to meet you. 453 00:21:29,376 --> 00:21:33,143 - Nice to meet you... - Elithra. 454 00:21:33,210 --> 00:21:35,210 That's fantastic. 455 00:21:35,276 --> 00:21:41,110 She is something! Can we have two more of these? 456 00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:44,110 Oh, for fuck's sake! 457 00:21:44,143 --> 00:21:45,810 [Mouths words] 458 00:21:47,676 --> 00:21:51,376 - Oh, where are you going? - I'm gonna just-- I'll be right back. 459 00:21:52,776 --> 00:21:54,643 - I'm going home. - You can't go. 460 00:21:54,710 --> 00:21:55,976 I wanted to show you the view because-- 461 00:21:56,110 --> 00:21:57,243 no, I don't want to go back in there. 462 00:21:57,310 --> 00:21:59,443 I just want to go home. Please, I'm sorry. 463 00:21:59,510 --> 00:22:03,843 - Okay, let's get out of here. - Yeah? 464 00:22:03,910 --> 00:22:07,743 You know, he visibly had cocaine around both his nostrils? 465 00:22:07,810 --> 00:22:10,110 Where are we going? I don't want to walk. 466 00:22:10,110 --> 00:22:11,476 The tube's back there! 467 00:22:11,543 --> 00:22:15,510 Listen, I'm sorry that tonight has turned to shit-- 468 00:22:15,576 --> 00:22:17,610 - what? - ...But I wanted to-- 469 00:22:17,676 --> 00:22:19,476 - [raucous singing] - [Urinating] 470 00:22:19,543 --> 00:22:22,143 - Do you mind? - [Laughs] 471 00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,710 I wanted to propose to you properly. 472 00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,110 Oh, look, it's one of those taxi guys! 473 00:22:26,176 --> 00:22:27,743 - Fuck! Jesus Christ! - What are you doing? 474 00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:29,576 - Shut up! - What? 475 00:22:29,643 --> 00:22:31,676 I just need you to just stand over there, quiet, for a moment. 476 00:22:31,743 --> 00:22:35,676 - I'm sorry. - Seriously, what are you doing? 477 00:22:35,743 --> 00:22:40,410 Oh, thank Christ! Are you fucking kidding me? 478 00:22:44,176 --> 00:22:47,843 Hey, mental person, are we getting in with this guy or-- 479 00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:51,476 - what is that? - It's a ring. 480 00:22:51,543 --> 00:22:54,243 It's an engagement ring. I wanted to propose to you 481 00:22:54,310 --> 00:22:56,343 properly at the restaurant with a view, 482 00:22:56,410 --> 00:22:59,743 a 360-degree view, and then here by the river. 483 00:22:59,810 --> 00:23:03,110 Then you knocked the ring in the road like an animal 484 00:23:03,143 --> 00:23:05,476 and then this woman pissed on it. 485 00:23:12,110 --> 00:23:13,876 You can ask me now. 486 00:23:13,943 --> 00:23:19,110 - Well, I don't want to now. - Okay. What about now? 487 00:23:23,943 --> 00:23:25,310 Will you marry me? 488 00:23:26,776 --> 00:23:30,643 Fine. Yes. 489 00:23:33,110 --> 00:23:37,176 - No, don't do that. There's piss on it. - Shit, I'm sorry. 490 00:23:37,243 --> 00:23:41,110 Hang on, wait, give us a look. 491 00:23:41,176 --> 00:23:42,476 It's pretty. 492 00:23:42,543 --> 00:23:44,910 Well, you know, i narrowed it down to two, 493 00:23:44,976 --> 00:23:48,310 but the other one was, you know, was more vulgar, it was stupid. 494 00:23:48,376 --> 00:23:50,143 This one's, you know, it's petiter. 495 00:23:50,210 --> 00:23:53,210 - Whoa! Let me wipe it off first. - No, don't be silly. 496 00:23:53,276 --> 00:23:55,243 It's just a bit of piss. 497 00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:04,843 [Chuckles] 498 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,443 I love it! 499 00:24:08,876 --> 00:24:10,543 ** [Male singer vocalizing]