1 00:00:06,043 --> 00:00:07,043 Get them to cut it out of me, Rob. 2 00:00:07,083 --> 00:00:08,923 Caesarean me, please! It's not too late! 3 00:00:08,963 --> 00:00:10,843 It's too late. You're crowning. 4 00:00:10,883 --> 00:00:12,283 Push it back in and cut it out! 5 00:00:12,323 --> 00:00:14,483 Three people who live in this house wear nappies. 6 00:00:14,523 --> 00:00:16,403 - I'm one of them. - You haven't bonded with the baby? 7 00:00:16,443 --> 00:00:18,043 - No. - Do you think you might have 8 00:00:18,083 --> 00:00:19,563 a little postnatal depression? 9 00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:20,883 Rob, do you think it's about time for me 10 00:00:20,923 --> 00:00:22,003 to pop to IKEA? 11 00:00:24,643 --> 00:00:25,923 Woman: So you're finding 12 00:00:25,963 --> 00:00:27,763 your current circumstances difficult? 13 00:00:27,803 --> 00:00:29,323 Yeah. No. 14 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,163 I mean, they're not, 15 00:00:31,203 --> 00:00:33,043 they're not difficult on paper. 16 00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:35,763 I hate them, but there are people all over the world 17 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,523 who have it tougher than me. You know, like... 18 00:00:38,563 --> 00:00:40,963 I mean, I can't think of anyone now, but, 19 00:00:41,003 --> 00:00:42,483 I don't know, Greek people. 20 00:00:42,523 --> 00:00:44,203 And your husband? 21 00:00:44,243 --> 00:00:45,963 Are you able to tell him how you feel? 22 00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:48,963 Yeah, well, you know, I-- I-- I tell him, 23 00:00:49,003 --> 00:00:50,683 but he's-- he's tired. 24 00:00:50,723 --> 00:00:54,083 He works a lot, and we've got two kids under the age of 3. 25 00:00:54,123 --> 00:01:00,123 I'd say he thinks about the kids, then work, then sleep, 26 00:01:00,163 --> 00:01:01,963 and then me or taking a shit. 27 00:01:02,003 --> 00:01:04,763 I probably feature in his thoughts right after the toilet 28 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,923 and just before a book about Hitler. 29 00:01:06,963 --> 00:01:09,243 Oh, he likes to read about World War II. 30 00:01:09,283 --> 00:01:11,563 He's not a bad person. He's-- 31 00:01:11,603 --> 00:01:13,523 Just imagine a nice enough guy taking a shit 32 00:01:13,563 --> 00:01:15,003 and reading about Hitler, and that's my husband. 33 00:01:15,043 --> 00:01:16,723 Okay. 34 00:01:16,763 --> 00:01:19,123 And you said there's no suicidal ideation? 35 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,803 No. 36 00:01:20,843 --> 00:01:22,403 I mean, I do think about dying, 37 00:01:22,443 --> 00:01:24,523 but in a kind of abstract way-- 38 00:01:24,563 --> 00:01:26,763 you know, like, sometimes I imagine a meteor 39 00:01:26,803 --> 00:01:28,843 hitting the house and killing me and the kids. 40 00:01:28,883 --> 00:01:30,443 What about your husband? 41 00:01:30,483 --> 00:01:33,603 I don't know. If he's home. I don't care. 42 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,083 So I thought maybe some pills? 43 00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:47,363 Hey, how was that? 44 00:01:47,403 --> 00:01:49,083 It was good. It was fine. 45 00:01:49,123 --> 00:01:51,203 It was good that you didn't come in with me, though, 46 00:01:51,243 --> 00:01:53,003 because I was really able to rip into you. 47 00:01:53,043 --> 00:01:54,123 Well, that's great, honey. 48 00:01:54,163 --> 00:01:55,323 Did you get it all out, 49 00:01:55,363 --> 00:01:56,563 or will I still get to listen 50 00:01:56,603 --> 00:01:59,083 to your nightly screed at 11:15 p.m.? 51 00:01:59,123 --> 00:02:00,803 Well, that depends on you, cowboy. 52 00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:04,323 Oh, did she prescribe that you let me fuck you 53 00:02:04,363 --> 00:02:05,763 for the first time since February? 54 00:02:05,803 --> 00:02:07,803 No, but she prescribed me some pills 55 00:02:07,843 --> 00:02:10,083 that she said could make me more receptive to sex 56 00:02:10,123 --> 00:02:12,443 but less able to enjoy it. 57 00:02:12,483 --> 00:02:14,003 Was that a riddle? 58 00:02:24,683 --> 00:02:26,883 Are you really just pissing? 59 00:02:26,923 --> 00:02:28,523 Because I can smell McDonald's. 60 00:02:28,563 --> 00:02:29,923 Jesus. 61 00:02:32,723 --> 00:02:35,723 One taxi driver-sized dump all changed. 62 00:02:35,763 --> 00:02:37,843 - What time are you back? - 6 or 7. 63 00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:39,723 Probably 7. How are you feeling? 64 00:02:39,763 --> 00:02:41,963 Yeah, pretty good. You know, kind of even. 65 00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,003 Like borderline nothing, but in a good way. 66 00:02:44,043 --> 00:02:45,323 What are you doing today? 67 00:02:45,363 --> 00:02:46,643 Baby drums and then Mummy and Me. 68 00:02:46,683 --> 00:02:48,323 God, I hate even saying that. 69 00:02:48,363 --> 00:02:50,403 And then probably go and get a coffee with Sam, 70 00:02:50,443 --> 00:02:52,163 talk about the other mums in the group. 71 00:02:52,203 --> 00:02:54,643 Sam calls them "mombies." You know, like, zombies? 72 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,883 - That's great, honey. - I know. 73 00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:01,483 ♪ Incy-wincy spider 74 00:03:01,523 --> 00:03:04,323 ♪ Climbed up the water spout 75 00:03:04,363 --> 00:03:05,683 ♪ Down came... 76 00:03:05,723 --> 00:03:07,083 I'm trying not to travel around 77 00:03:07,123 --> 00:03:08,443 with my little hemorrhoid cushion, 78 00:03:08,483 --> 00:03:10,003 but sitting on this cold floor is like, ow. 79 00:03:10,043 --> 00:03:11,683 I had a C section. 80 00:03:11,723 --> 00:03:12,923 Oh, cool. 81 00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:15,083 ♪ And dried up all the rain 82 00:03:15,123 --> 00:03:17,603 Have you seen the mum with the big brown eyes? Sam? 83 00:03:17,643 --> 00:03:19,083 She usually sits with me. Samantha? 84 00:03:19,123 --> 00:03:21,043 - No, sorry. - No? 85 00:03:21,083 --> 00:03:24,323 Maybe she quit because she got tired of looking at her camel toe. 86 00:03:24,363 --> 00:03:27,643 ♪ Incy-wincy spider climbed up the water spout ♪ 87 00:03:27,683 --> 00:03:32,883 ♪ Down came the rain and washed the spider out ♪ 88 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,483 I hate myself. 89 00:03:38,563 --> 00:03:40,723 [chatter] 90 00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,523 Want to come and see these mums? 91 00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:44,523 No. 92 00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:49,803 What's going on with you crazy bitches? 93 00:03:52,843 --> 00:03:54,723 We were just seeing if we could get a group together 94 00:03:54,763 --> 00:03:55,963 to see Paloma Faith. 95 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,403 Ah, Paloma Faith. 96 00:03:57,443 --> 00:03:59,443 I'm more of a Taylor Swift girl. 97 00:03:59,483 --> 00:04:01,243 - I love Taylor Swift. - I'm kidding. She makes me barf. 98 00:04:03,203 --> 00:04:05,163 My husband likes Paloma Faith. 99 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:07,523 - Ah. - He thinks she looks dirty. 100 00:04:07,563 --> 00:04:09,603 Not dirty like she doesn't wash. 101 00:04:09,643 --> 00:04:11,283 He just thinks she looks like she'd be up for, 102 00:04:11,323 --> 00:04:12,483 you know, whatever? 103 00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:17,923 Where's Sam? She's normally here on a Tuesday. 104 00:04:17,963 --> 00:04:19,243 Was she here last week? 105 00:04:19,283 --> 00:04:20,963 Samantha? She's gone back to work, I think. 106 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,443 She what? 107 00:04:22,483 --> 00:04:24,123 I think she said last week she was going back to work. 108 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:25,923 Well, you think or she said? Which is it? 109 00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:29,323 I'm pretty sure she said. 110 00:04:29,363 --> 00:04:31,763 Right. Right. 111 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:35,003 Paloma Faith. 112 00:04:35,043 --> 00:04:37,243 Be funny to say that after someone sneezes. 113 00:04:37,283 --> 00:04:40,603 Achoo. Paloma Faith. Thank you. 114 00:04:40,643 --> 00:04:43,483 We should start that. 115 00:04:43,523 --> 00:04:45,763 [phone rings] 116 00:04:46,763 --> 00:04:48,443 Ed 856965. 117 00:04:48,483 --> 00:04:49,803 Sharon: Hey, is Mallandra there? 118 00:04:49,843 --> 00:04:51,923 - Who? - Mallandra. Your wife. 119 00:04:51,963 --> 00:04:54,203 I know who she is. Why the fuck do you want to talk to her? 120 00:04:54,243 --> 00:04:56,483 - I want to talk to a mother. - Talk to me. I'm your brother. 121 00:04:56,523 --> 00:04:57,763 I want to talk to a woman 122 00:04:57,803 --> 00:04:59,483 who's been afflicted with child by a man. 123 00:04:59,523 --> 00:05:01,083 No. I don't want you getting her all worked up. 124 00:05:01,123 --> 00:05:02,243 She's happy with her lot. 125 00:05:02,283 --> 00:05:03,803 What are you, her fucking gatekeeper? 126 00:05:03,843 --> 00:05:05,163 - Put her on the phone. - She's not here. 127 00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:06,403 Oh, you're so annoying. 128 00:05:06,443 --> 00:05:07,963 Listen, while I have you, 129 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,443 we need to talk about what you're going to do about Dad 130 00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:10,803 because I don't have time this month. 131 00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:12,243 Boop. 132 00:05:12,283 --> 00:05:13,523 Fuck off. 133 00:05:15,643 --> 00:05:16,843 Dickhead. 134 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:18,203 Hi. 135 00:05:18,243 --> 00:05:19,843 Hey, Fran. Sorry, I-- 136 00:05:19,883 --> 00:05:21,643 Can't talk now. Chris is leaving. 137 00:05:21,683 --> 00:05:23,563 - He what? - It's fine. It's just temporary. 138 00:05:23,603 --> 00:05:25,523 - It's not temporary. - Let's catch up soon. 139 00:05:25,563 --> 00:05:26,523 Well, um, okay. 140 00:05:26,563 --> 00:05:27,923 [door closes] 141 00:05:31,603 --> 00:05:33,403 - No, we're renaming it-- - [knock on door] 142 00:05:33,443 --> 00:05:36,603 ..and it's going to be an oval pill instead of round, 143 00:05:36,643 --> 00:05:37,963 and it's a completely different package 144 00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:39,963 so now we can market it to cancer people-- 145 00:05:40,003 --> 00:05:41,323 patients. 146 00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:44,443 What? No. I don't golf. 147 00:05:44,483 --> 00:05:45,843 All right. Take it easy, Ken. 148 00:05:45,883 --> 00:05:47,603 Jesus! 149 00:05:47,643 --> 00:05:49,563 Do women get asked to golf all the time? 150 00:05:49,603 --> 00:05:51,803 We get asked to mentor Indian guys' daughters a lot. 151 00:05:51,843 --> 00:05:53,123 At least that makes sense. 152 00:05:53,163 --> 00:05:54,763 Which is interesting because I'm Iranian. 153 00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:56,243 Right. Of course. 154 00:05:56,283 --> 00:05:59,243 Rob, I wanted to introduce Olivia Vasseur. 155 00:05:59,283 --> 00:06:02,203 Olivia has been in our Paris office but is moving to London 156 00:06:02,243 --> 00:06:05,123 and will be running international research initiatives for us. 157 00:06:05,163 --> 00:06:06,963 - Hello. - Rob Norris. 158 00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:09,083 I try to make people buy drugs. 159 00:06:09,123 --> 00:06:10,923 He's being falsely modest. 160 00:06:10,963 --> 00:06:13,043 I hired Rob to clean up a PR mess a few years ago, 161 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:15,923 and I've yet to meet a drug since that he can't sell. 162 00:06:15,963 --> 00:06:17,123 Heroin, maybe? 163 00:06:17,163 --> 00:06:18,843 You'll have to carry a gun. 164 00:06:18,883 --> 00:06:20,683 Yeah. I don't want to carry a gun. 165 00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:22,923 They're really heavy, and I travel light. 166 00:06:24,003 --> 00:06:26,683 You ever fired a gun? 167 00:06:26,723 --> 00:06:28,603 I don't know why I'm asking you that. 168 00:06:28,643 --> 00:06:30,443 Yes, I'm good at selling drugs, 169 00:06:30,483 --> 00:06:32,243 and I'm glad you work here now. 170 00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:33,323 Me, too. 171 00:06:41,483 --> 00:06:43,403 Sharon: I haven't seen you wear that shirt to work before. 172 00:06:43,443 --> 00:06:44,843 This shirt? 173 00:06:44,883 --> 00:06:46,683 Huh. Isn't it more of an evening shirt? 174 00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:49,563 I guess it's a little dangerous. 175 00:06:49,603 --> 00:06:50,723 Does it look stupid? 176 00:06:50,763 --> 00:06:52,163 No, it's cute. 177 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,283 And, you know, if you fancy it, 178 00:06:53,323 --> 00:06:54,643 you can always nip out 179 00:06:54,683 --> 00:06:55,963 and play a little snooker at lunchtime. 180 00:06:57,443 --> 00:06:59,323 [sigh] 181 00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:01,523 I think I'm going to stop producing milk. 182 00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:02,563 Why? 183 00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:04,243 Because. 184 00:07:04,283 --> 00:07:05,683 I can't smoke pot anymore. 185 00:07:05,723 --> 00:07:06,923 You don't smoke pot. 186 00:07:06,963 --> 00:07:08,123 Well, I want to start. 187 00:07:08,163 --> 00:07:09,403 I've been thinking about it, 188 00:07:09,443 --> 00:07:10,683 and I want to start smoking pot. 189 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:12,083 I think it will help me chill out. 190 00:07:12,123 --> 00:07:13,803 - Just meditate or something. - Fuck off. 191 00:07:13,843 --> 00:07:15,683 Okay. Maybe you should smoke pot. 192 00:07:15,723 --> 00:07:17,163 I would like the option of being 193 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:18,843 more than 15 feet away from Muireann 194 00:07:18,883 --> 00:07:20,483 for more than 15 minutes. 195 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,443 Have you seen the way she looks at me now? 196 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:23,963 I'm just a giant tit to her. 197 00:07:24,003 --> 00:07:26,283 Also, have you seen my nipples recently? 198 00:07:26,323 --> 00:07:28,843 They're not pink anymore. They're not even red. 199 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:31,363 - They're black. - They're not black. 200 00:07:31,403 --> 00:07:32,603 Okay, they're brown. 201 00:07:32,643 --> 00:07:33,723 Who cares? 202 00:07:33,763 --> 00:07:35,083 The baby still wants to suck them. 203 00:07:35,123 --> 00:07:36,403 I still want to suck them. 204 00:07:36,443 --> 00:07:38,003 We don't care what color they are. 205 00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,403 I care. 206 00:07:39,443 --> 00:07:41,563 Hey. Have you seen my balls lately? 207 00:07:41,603 --> 00:07:43,123 I don't look at them. 208 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,523 You shouldn't have to. 209 00:07:45,963 --> 00:07:47,403 May I? 210 00:07:47,443 --> 00:07:49,523 Go for it. 211 00:07:49,563 --> 00:07:51,443 I just-- I want to have a little look, 212 00:07:51,483 --> 00:07:53,883 and then, in a platonic, medical way, 213 00:07:53,923 --> 00:07:55,123 see what they taste like. 214 00:07:55,163 --> 00:07:56,723 - I haven't had a wash. - Good. 215 00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:58,643 You smell like onions. 216 00:07:58,683 --> 00:08:02,043 Okay. I guess I'll go suck some tits on the bus, then. 217 00:08:03,523 --> 00:08:05,323 Russian ones. 218 00:08:05,363 --> 00:08:07,123 Bye. 219 00:08:21,483 --> 00:08:23,603 Sam. Sam. 220 00:08:23,643 --> 00:08:25,763 - Hi. - Hi. Hello. 221 00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:27,363 Sorry. It fell on-- 222 00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:28,763 - How are you? - I'm good. 223 00:08:28,803 --> 00:08:30,403 I'm great. 224 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,403 What's going on? I heard you're back at work. 225 00:08:32,443 --> 00:08:34,163 Yeah, yeah, I went back to work this week. 226 00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:36,083 The company have a nursery on site. 227 00:08:36,123 --> 00:08:38,563 They actually encourage you to bring your babies. 228 00:08:38,603 --> 00:08:40,843 - Oh, that's nice for you. - Yeah. 229 00:08:40,883 --> 00:08:42,323 God, it's so good to see you! 230 00:08:42,363 --> 00:08:43,603 I was at Mummy and Me, 231 00:08:43,643 --> 00:08:44,843 and I was like, "Where is she? 232 00:08:44,883 --> 00:08:47,323 Where is my Mummy and Me bestie?" 233 00:08:47,363 --> 00:08:48,563 I had to hang out with the mombies. 234 00:08:48,603 --> 00:08:50,283 Oh, no. Not the mombies. 235 00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:52,963 God. I couldn't go back there. 236 00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,603 I think maybe I didn't fit in 237 00:08:54,643 --> 00:08:55,963 because I haven't had a lobotomy. 238 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,643 Yeah, no. I haven't, either-- had a lobotomy. 239 00:08:58,683 --> 00:09:00,323 You were the only normal one there. 240 00:09:00,363 --> 00:09:03,083 Thank you. 241 00:09:03,123 --> 00:09:04,403 I remember you saying 242 00:09:04,443 --> 00:09:06,363 that you used to work in Spitalfields, so... 243 00:09:06,403 --> 00:09:08,203 I mean, not that that's why I, you know... 244 00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:11,083 I was shopping. I bought a book. 245 00:09:11,123 --> 00:09:13,003 Ah, yes. I've heard this is supposed to be great. 246 00:09:13,043 --> 00:09:14,203 I should read this. 247 00:09:14,243 --> 00:09:15,643 Yeah, just have it. Just take it. 248 00:09:15,683 --> 00:09:17,403 You're so funny. 249 00:09:17,443 --> 00:09:20,163 I should be getting back, but here. 250 00:09:20,203 --> 00:09:21,523 Give me your number. I'll give you a call. 251 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:22,843 Okay. Great. 252 00:09:22,883 --> 00:09:24,923 No, I was going to say that we should do that. 253 00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:26,443 We should just go for a beer or just a wine 254 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,363 or, you know, a cocktail or something. 255 00:09:28,403 --> 00:09:29,723 Yeah, no, definitely. 256 00:09:29,763 --> 00:09:31,843 I don't seem to have the same support network 257 00:09:31,883 --> 00:09:34,043 I had when, you know, when I had Frankie. 258 00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:37,283 A lot of the mums I met then, they went back to work 259 00:09:37,323 --> 00:09:39,283 while we immediately got me pregnant again, 260 00:09:39,323 --> 00:09:41,323 since all we do is get me pregnant. 261 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,883 What are we, farmers? 262 00:09:42,923 --> 00:09:44,603 What were we thinking? 263 00:09:46,523 --> 00:09:47,883 God, it's good to talk. 264 00:09:47,923 --> 00:09:49,603 Well, look, I'll give you a call. 265 00:09:49,643 --> 00:09:51,683 Yeah, call me now so your number comes up. 266 00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:53,043 Yeah. Okay. 267 00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:54,443 [humming] 268 00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:55,843 - [phone jangles] - Okay. 269 00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:57,443 What are you doing tomorrow night? 270 00:09:58,683 --> 00:10:00,123 What are you doing? 271 00:10:05,483 --> 00:10:06,763 [muffled] What's goin' on? 272 00:10:09,883 --> 00:10:11,523 Hello, Rob. 273 00:10:11,563 --> 00:10:12,723 Mm. 274 00:10:12,763 --> 00:10:14,283 It's a good sandwich? 275 00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:15,563 Yeah. Sort of just-- 276 00:10:15,603 --> 00:10:16,803 And another sandwich 277 00:10:16,843 --> 00:10:18,363 for when you finish your first sandwich. 278 00:10:18,403 --> 00:10:20,123 - Yep. - You're a growing boy. 279 00:10:20,163 --> 00:10:21,203 Mm-hmm. 280 00:10:21,243 --> 00:10:22,403 Doors opening. 281 00:10:22,443 --> 00:10:23,563 See you later, Pippa. 282 00:10:23,603 --> 00:10:24,883 Pippa? 283 00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:26,723 - The children's pig. - Oh. 284 00:10:26,763 --> 00:10:28,483 Doors closing. 285 00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:35,003 Wow, your dick feels really good against my back 286 00:10:35,043 --> 00:10:37,203 because the tip of it's wet. 287 00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:39,123 Is the tip of your pussy wet? 288 00:10:39,163 --> 00:10:40,523 No. 289 00:10:40,563 --> 00:10:42,323 Well, I don't even have to put it in. 290 00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:44,003 I can just pop it between your thighs, 291 00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:45,643 and then, if you get turned on, then-- 292 00:10:45,683 --> 00:10:46,963 I'm not gonna get turned on. 293 00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:49,203 You can't predict the future. 294 00:10:49,243 --> 00:10:51,883 Why do you even want to have sex with me? 295 00:10:51,923 --> 00:10:53,483 I wouldn't want to have sex with me. 296 00:10:53,523 --> 00:10:56,363 I'm just a cow in a dressing down. 297 00:10:56,403 --> 00:10:58,963 You're so much hotter than a cow. 298 00:11:01,003 --> 00:11:04,523 Oh, God. Okay, you can do it between my thighs, 299 00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,923 but just come on your own stomach. 300 00:11:06,963 --> 00:11:10,843 You drive a hard bargain, but I agree to your terms. 301 00:11:19,923 --> 00:11:21,483 Damn, Jordan. 302 00:11:21,523 --> 00:11:22,923 I'm passionate about sports. 303 00:11:22,963 --> 00:11:24,123 Me, too. 304 00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:27,163 [clang] 305 00:11:27,203 --> 00:11:28,683 Maybe we should cycle 306 00:11:28,723 --> 00:11:30,163 or power lift together. 307 00:11:30,203 --> 00:11:34,803 Yeah. Um, how's it going here? 308 00:11:34,843 --> 00:11:35,963 Are you settling in okay? 309 00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:37,803 Yeah. Whatever. 310 00:11:37,843 --> 00:11:40,363 Although a lot of people who work here are idiots. 311 00:11:40,403 --> 00:11:41,923 Yeah. 312 00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:43,403 I mean, I'm an idiot, 313 00:11:43,443 --> 00:11:46,043 but I kind of wound up working here by mistake. 314 00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:47,403 But some mistakes are happy. 315 00:11:47,443 --> 00:11:50,763 [speaking French] 316 00:11:50,803 --> 00:11:52,683 That's so sweet. 317 00:11:52,723 --> 00:11:54,763 You speak French like a little German boy. 318 00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:58,323 Well, I'm going to go be an idiot back in my office. 319 00:11:58,363 --> 00:12:00,083 - I'll see you later. - Okay. 320 00:12:00,123 --> 00:12:01,523 Ciao,idiot. 321 00:12:05,043 --> 00:12:06,443 - Hey, Giles. - Hello. 322 00:12:09,243 --> 00:12:10,763 [zip] 323 00:12:10,803 --> 00:12:12,803 Fucking Christ. 324 00:12:22,003 --> 00:12:25,003 I think being a stay-at-home is not for me. 325 00:12:25,043 --> 00:12:26,643 You know, I just-- I feel like a prisoner. 326 00:12:26,683 --> 00:12:29,523 I'm seeing a therapist now, so it'll be fine. 327 00:12:29,563 --> 00:12:32,283 I've got pills, but I feel numb now, but in a good way. 328 00:12:32,323 --> 00:12:34,443 - Sounds nice. - Mmm. 329 00:12:34,483 --> 00:12:36,843 And I'm more open to the idea of sex with Rob. 330 00:12:36,883 --> 00:12:39,123 Remember we were talking about that? And baby drums? 331 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:42,083 Oh, my God! Baby drums, kill me! 332 00:12:42,123 --> 00:12:43,923 Yeah. What about you and your husband? 333 00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,683 - What, you mean sex? - Yeah. 334 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,923 Um, it's just back to how it was. 335 00:12:48,963 --> 00:12:50,083 Back to how it was before? 336 00:12:52,123 --> 00:12:53,883 Because in the beginning, Rob and I were like-- 337 00:12:53,923 --> 00:12:55,443 we were like teenagers. 338 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,643 We did stuff I haven't even seen online, 339 00:12:57,683 --> 00:12:59,203 and now it's like a lesbian deathbed. 340 00:12:59,243 --> 00:13:02,003 We had sex the other night for the first time in... 341 00:13:02,043 --> 00:13:04,323 two and a half months. It wasn't even full sex. 342 00:13:04,363 --> 00:13:06,083 It was, you know, more like sort of frottage. 343 00:13:06,123 --> 00:13:07,523 Do you want another drink? 344 00:13:07,563 --> 00:13:09,483 I should probably-- I've got to meet my cousin. 345 00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:11,323 Aw! Okay, well, look, 346 00:13:11,363 --> 00:13:13,163 do you want to get something proper in the diary? 347 00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:14,923 My husband's company have-- 348 00:13:14,963 --> 00:13:18,083 Well, the employees have access to this villa in Cornwall. 349 00:13:18,123 --> 00:13:20,843 They have a Jacuzzi there and, like, a kitchen garden. 350 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,243 - There's a Jacuzzi. - Wow. 351 00:13:22,283 --> 00:13:23,843 So maybe we can get our families together 352 00:13:23,883 --> 00:13:26,043 and have a long weekend there? Maybe Easter weekend? 353 00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:28,683 Well, I'd need to check with Alan first, but, um, 354 00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:29,923 yeah. Let me get my drink. 355 00:13:29,963 --> 00:13:31,483 No, don't be silly. I'll get it. 356 00:13:31,523 --> 00:13:33,923 You get the next one in Cornwall! Check with Alan. 357 00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:35,483 - Let me know what he says. - Yeah. Okay. 358 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,483 All right. 359 00:13:38,523 --> 00:13:40,883 You fucking pervert! 360 00:13:40,923 --> 00:13:43,403 Oh, he's acting all holier-than-thou, 361 00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:44,763 and now you're a toilet fucker. 362 00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:46,563 I am not-- I don't fuck the toilet. 363 00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:48,563 Well, do you come into the toilet? 364 00:13:48,603 --> 00:13:49,763 Yeah. 365 00:13:49,803 --> 00:13:51,323 You're a toilet fucker. 366 00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,643 Okay, well, then, you can see why I need a meeting. 367 00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:56,483 Well, I go every day, so just let me know. I'll go with you. 368 00:13:56,523 --> 00:13:58,643 You know, meetings can really offer a framework. 369 00:13:58,683 --> 00:14:01,203 Don't fucking offer to framework me! 370 00:14:01,243 --> 00:14:02,963 You've been sober for half an hour. 371 00:14:03,003 --> 00:14:04,923 Dude, I've been sober for three months 372 00:14:04,963 --> 00:14:06,523 for the first time since I was 12. 373 00:14:06,563 --> 00:14:07,883 No, I'm sorry. That's great. 374 00:14:07,923 --> 00:14:09,483 Plus I've had the good luck 375 00:14:09,523 --> 00:14:11,683 to scoop up a tasty piece of ass 376 00:14:11,723 --> 00:14:13,643 that belongs to a lovely sober lady 377 00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:15,683 that I may be falling in love with. 378 00:14:15,723 --> 00:14:17,283 - What? - Catherine. 379 00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,243 She's like a beacon of health and recovery. 380 00:14:20,283 --> 00:14:22,283 Plus she did a lot of disgusting things 381 00:14:22,323 --> 00:14:24,523 - before she got sober. - Okay, well-- 382 00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,763 She owns a fucking hedge fund, but eight years ago. 383 00:14:26,803 --> 00:14:30,243 She was a hooker in Marrakech. 384 00:14:30,283 --> 00:14:32,083 How fucking great is that? 385 00:14:32,123 --> 00:14:33,843 I mean, not for her then. It was terrible, 386 00:14:33,883 --> 00:14:36,403 - but for me now-- - Dave, listen, 387 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,923 you are like a delicate flower right now-- 388 00:14:38,963 --> 00:14:40,523 Aw, thanks man! 389 00:14:40,563 --> 00:14:43,323 ...and you need to be in a greenhouse 390 00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:44,803 where you can get your shit together 391 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:46,363 for a little while before you jump into anything. 392 00:14:46,403 --> 00:14:49,083 Okay, well, I'll take that on board. 393 00:14:50,203 --> 00:14:51,283 Toilet fucker. 394 00:14:51,323 --> 00:14:52,923 [laughing] 395 00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:22,843 [phone rings] 396 00:15:24,243 --> 00:15:26,923 - Hiya. - Hey! Are you-- 397 00:15:26,963 --> 00:15:29,083 - Didn't we say 1 p.m.? - Oh, God. 398 00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:30,683 Sorry. I thought it was a loose arrangement. 399 00:15:30,723 --> 00:15:32,483 - I had lunch here. - Oh! 400 00:15:32,523 --> 00:15:35,083 Okay. Well, should I pop over anyway? 401 00:15:35,123 --> 00:15:36,643 I mean, I'm in Spitalfields. 402 00:15:36,683 --> 00:15:38,563 Oh, no, no. Sorry. I have a ton of work. 403 00:15:38,603 --> 00:15:39,843 Sorry. I feel bad. 404 00:15:39,883 --> 00:15:41,563 No, don't worry. I'll just-- 405 00:15:41,603 --> 00:15:43,683 Are you still on for that dance thing tomorrow night? 406 00:15:43,723 --> 00:15:45,843 Uh, Let me check with Alan, but it should be fine. 407 00:15:45,883 --> 00:15:48,123 Okay, great. Well, I'll see you then, my friend. 408 00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:50,123 Actually, hang on. Wait. 409 00:15:50,163 --> 00:15:53,643 I'm-- I'm not going to make it tomorrow night. 410 00:15:53,683 --> 00:15:56,443 Okay, well, do you want me to try for Friday? 411 00:15:56,483 --> 00:15:58,403 I'm not going to make it any night, really. 412 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:03,043 - Okay. - Look, to be honest, 413 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,163 I just have too much going on, 414 00:16:05,203 --> 00:16:07,443 and I don't have time for people in my life who... 415 00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:08,723 Who what? 416 00:16:08,763 --> 00:16:11,683 Who need things. 417 00:16:13,003 --> 00:16:14,843 - Is this about the smell? - What? 418 00:16:14,883 --> 00:16:16,483 It doesn't matter. 419 00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:17,763 You said you're in therapy. 420 00:16:17,803 --> 00:16:19,283 Keep going to that. 421 00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:20,843 Go back to Mummy And Me. 422 00:16:20,883 --> 00:16:22,123 Those mums really aren't as bad 423 00:16:22,163 --> 00:16:23,363 as you make them out to be. 424 00:16:23,403 --> 00:16:25,363 They're just...mums, 425 00:16:25,403 --> 00:16:26,803 like you. 426 00:16:26,843 --> 00:16:28,243 But not like you? 427 00:16:31,243 --> 00:16:33,483 Oh, okay. Um... 428 00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:34,883 fine, well, thanks for the advice. 429 00:16:34,923 --> 00:16:36,003 You are so welcome. 430 00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:37,483 Oh, did you ask Alan about Cornwall? 431 00:16:37,523 --> 00:16:38,763 What? 432 00:16:38,803 --> 00:16:39,923 I'm kidding. Fuck off! 433 00:16:48,603 --> 00:16:50,483 [knock on door] 434 00:16:50,523 --> 00:16:52,043 I had a question 435 00:16:52,083 --> 00:16:54,043 about the patents on the new Orflex synthetic. 436 00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:58,323 Ooh, uh, I have no idea. That's not really my, uh... 437 00:16:58,363 --> 00:17:00,963 - You know, I think-- - I'm just fucking with you. 438 00:17:01,003 --> 00:17:03,523 Oh. Right. 439 00:17:03,563 --> 00:17:05,603 I just thought it would be funny to pretend 440 00:17:05,643 --> 00:17:07,163 that I came here to talk about work. 441 00:17:07,203 --> 00:17:09,963 Um, o-okay. 442 00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,323 Why did you come in here? 443 00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:15,043 I notice you look at me sometimes. 444 00:17:15,083 --> 00:17:18,403 Oh. Well, yes, I-- 445 00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:20,643 I have looked at you, um, but-- 446 00:17:20,683 --> 00:17:23,043 I was curious if you'd like to look at me someplace else? 447 00:17:24,963 --> 00:17:28,283 Like my flat or maybe a hotel room? 448 00:17:28,323 --> 00:17:33,363 - Oh. Oh, you mean like-- - Yeah, I mean like. 449 00:17:33,403 --> 00:17:38,123 Well, listen, I mean, you know I'm married, right? 450 00:17:38,163 --> 00:17:39,763 I know you know I'm married, 451 00:17:39,803 --> 00:17:41,763 and you know I have kids with the woman I'm married to? 452 00:17:41,803 --> 00:17:43,523 I don't want to interfere with your marriage. 453 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,603 I just thought-- 454 00:17:45,643 --> 00:17:47,523 Well, I saw you switch the big bottle 455 00:17:47,563 --> 00:17:48,843 in the water cooler yesterday, 456 00:17:48,883 --> 00:17:50,803 and it might as well have been a pillow. 457 00:17:50,843 --> 00:17:52,283 You make it look so light. 458 00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:53,963 And I thought to myself, 459 00:17:54,003 --> 00:17:56,643 I'd like to suck his cock until he passes out. 460 00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,283 If that's okay with you. 461 00:18:00,883 --> 00:18:01,923 Oo-- 462 00:18:03,643 --> 00:18:04,883 I can't work here anymore. 463 00:18:04,923 --> 00:18:07,643 Lisa, can you step out, please? 464 00:18:07,683 --> 00:18:10,923 I'm quitting. I mean, it isn't safe. 465 00:18:10,963 --> 00:18:12,523 I'm a human being. 466 00:18:12,563 --> 00:18:14,283 I mean, I can't have a beautiful woman-- 467 00:18:14,323 --> 00:18:16,203 I mean, what the fuck is she? A model? 468 00:18:16,243 --> 00:18:17,683 She's, like, better-looking than a model. 469 00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:19,043 she's got curves and-- 470 00:18:19,083 --> 00:18:21,003 Anyway, fuck this nonsense. I'm out of here. 471 00:18:21,043 --> 00:18:22,483 Thank you for all that you've done for me, 472 00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:24,563 but I'd like to hand in my notice. 473 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,803 I don't accept your resignation. 474 00:18:26,843 --> 00:18:28,563 Well, you don't have to accept it because-- 475 00:18:28,603 --> 00:18:30,323 I asked Lisa to step out when it seemed like 476 00:18:30,363 --> 00:18:32,043 you were going to say something stupid. 477 00:18:32,083 --> 00:18:33,883 So right now, only you and I know 478 00:18:33,923 --> 00:18:36,283 you're having some kind of sexual meltdown. 479 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,563 Let's keep it that way. You do good work here. 480 00:18:38,603 --> 00:18:39,763 I want you to stay. We'll just pay you more. 481 00:18:39,803 --> 00:18:41,523 Yeah, I don't want more money. 482 00:18:41,563 --> 00:18:43,483 I can do 18,000 more a year. 483 00:18:44,763 --> 00:18:46,083 Are you serious? 484 00:18:46,123 --> 00:18:47,643 I don't think I have a reputation 485 00:18:47,683 --> 00:18:48,963 as the office comedian. 486 00:19:14,043 --> 00:19:16,363 - [door closes] - I bonded with Muireann today. 487 00:19:16,403 --> 00:19:18,923 I was so relieved, I opened up the bottle of champagne 488 00:19:18,963 --> 00:19:20,203 that was at the back of the tins cupboard. 489 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:21,763 That's great. 490 00:19:21,803 --> 00:19:25,003 Oh, my God, she's so fucking smart, that baby. 491 00:19:25,043 --> 00:19:26,883 I mean Frankie's smart, but he's not-- 492 00:19:26,923 --> 00:19:28,643 you know, he's not Muireann-smart. 493 00:19:28,683 --> 00:19:30,363 - Mm-hmm. - I feel so bad 494 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,643 that I thought for a second that I didn't love her. 495 00:19:31,683 --> 00:19:34,243 And now I'm, like, percolating for her. 496 00:19:34,283 --> 00:19:36,003 Ha! 497 00:19:36,043 --> 00:19:37,923 What's the matter with you? 498 00:19:37,963 --> 00:19:39,083 Uh, nothing. 499 00:19:40,323 --> 00:19:41,523 I got a raise. 500 00:19:41,563 --> 00:19:43,083 That's amazing! 501 00:19:43,123 --> 00:19:44,603 Oh, did you have to blow Harita? 502 00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:48,443 I got dumped today 503 00:19:48,483 --> 00:19:50,883 by my mum friend Samantha. 504 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:53,123 She doesn't want to see me anymore. 505 00:19:53,163 --> 00:19:55,603 I couldn't even hang on to a mum-friend. 506 00:19:55,643 --> 00:19:57,203 And it's not like she's all that. 507 00:19:57,243 --> 00:19:58,723 It's not like she's Beyonce. 508 00:19:58,763 --> 00:20:00,283 She said I should go and hang out with the "mombies," 509 00:20:00,323 --> 00:20:01,443 and you know what? She's right. 510 00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:03,243 Every single one of those mums 511 00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:05,003 is probably more interesting than me. 512 00:20:05,043 --> 00:20:06,083 [voices on TV] 513 00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:08,643 - Rob. - What? 514 00:20:08,683 --> 00:20:10,683 What I just said. 515 00:20:10,723 --> 00:20:13,763 Are you not going to say anything? Do you not care? 516 00:20:13,803 --> 00:20:18,163 Right now I don't know that I do care about that. 517 00:20:18,203 --> 00:20:21,003 I mean, we've got two kids under the age of 3. 518 00:20:21,043 --> 00:20:23,163 My job is a nightmare, 519 00:20:23,203 --> 00:20:27,443 and those things use up all my daily care units. 520 00:20:27,483 --> 00:20:29,803 So sometimes, when you need attention 521 00:20:29,843 --> 00:20:30,923 at the end of the day, 522 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,523 I've got nothing left for you. 523 00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:35,923 And I know that's not fair, but what do I do? 524 00:20:35,963 --> 00:20:39,523 You dig deep and you scrounge something up for me. 525 00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:40,683 Don't be lazy. 526 00:20:40,723 --> 00:20:41,963 What do you want me to say? 527 00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:43,603 Say she sounds like a bitch! 528 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,843 She does sound like a bitch! 529 00:20:44,883 --> 00:20:46,123 I'll kill her for you. 530 00:20:46,163 --> 00:20:47,843 Do you know how happy that would make me? 531 00:20:47,883 --> 00:20:50,203 I've got plenty of hate units left. 532 00:20:50,243 --> 00:20:52,403 You can't kill her. She's got kids. 533 00:20:52,443 --> 00:20:55,083 I'll kill them, too! Are you upset with her or not? 534 00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:56,483 Don't you know how to feud? 535 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:57,883 You're supposed to wipe out the bloodline. 536 00:21:05,283 --> 00:21:07,043 How are you going to kill her? 537 00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,563 Well... 538 00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:11,323 first I'll hit her with my car. 539 00:21:14,323 --> 00:21:16,603 And then, if that doesn't work, 540 00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,603 I'll fucking strangle her. 541 00:21:22,283 --> 00:21:23,923 Would that turn her on? 542 00:21:23,963 --> 00:21:26,723 Ow, ow, ow. 543 00:21:26,763 --> 00:21:29,203 Ow, ow. 544 00:21:29,243 --> 00:21:30,643 - Ow. - Can you not-- 545 00:21:30,683 --> 00:21:32,283 Do you have to say "Ow" every time? 546 00:21:32,323 --> 00:21:34,923 Yeah. It hurts. I say "Ow" when things hurt. 547 00:21:34,963 --> 00:21:36,203 Do you want me to stop? 548 00:21:36,243 --> 00:21:37,283 No. 549 00:21:37,323 --> 00:21:38,363 Okay. 550 00:21:39,523 --> 00:21:40,523 Is that better? 551 00:21:40,563 --> 00:21:42,723 Yeah. That side's fine. 552 00:21:42,763 --> 00:21:44,323 Just hit the left side. 553 00:21:44,363 --> 00:21:46,403 Ow. The left side. My left. 554 00:21:46,443 --> 00:21:48,483 - Mm! - My left! 555 00:21:48,523 --> 00:21:50,123 - Ow. - [Muireann cries] 556 00:21:53,443 --> 00:21:55,283 No. I know what you're thinking, 557 00:21:55,323 --> 00:21:56,563 but it's just better for everybody 558 00:21:56,603 --> 00:21:58,403 - if I just finish this off. - Ow. 559 00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,083 - [crying continues] - Ow. 560 00:22:07,403 --> 00:22:09,603 Oh. Oh, God. 561 00:22:09,643 --> 00:22:12,083 That's Sam up there in the queue. 562 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:13,643 - You serious? - Yeah. 563 00:22:13,683 --> 00:22:15,403 I don't want her to see me. 564 00:22:15,443 --> 00:22:16,563 Why? 565 00:22:16,603 --> 00:22:17,963 Because I'm embarrassed. 566 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,443 You're embarrassed? 567 00:22:19,483 --> 00:22:21,803 She's the one who should be embarrassed. 568 00:22:21,843 --> 00:22:23,643 - What are you doing? - I'm going to tell her what I think of her. 569 00:22:23,683 --> 00:22:25,843 No, don't do that. God. 570 00:22:25,883 --> 00:22:26,883 Okay, do. 571 00:22:29,323 --> 00:22:33,483 Hi. I'm Rob Norris, Sharon Morris' husband. 572 00:22:33,523 --> 00:22:35,763 - What's your address? - Sorry? 573 00:22:35,803 --> 00:22:36,843 Home or office, I don't care. 574 00:22:36,883 --> 00:22:38,043 Why do you want to know? 575 00:22:38,083 --> 00:22:39,763 I'm not going to come around. 576 00:22:39,803 --> 00:22:41,523 I want to mail you an etiquette book, you cold sore. 577 00:22:41,563 --> 00:22:43,683 Why wouldn't you want to hang out with my wife? 578 00:22:43,723 --> 00:22:44,963 Do you know how funny she is? 579 00:22:45,003 --> 00:22:47,123 Do you know how smart she is? 580 00:22:47,163 --> 00:22:49,643 She's going to have to explain this movie to me after we see it. 581 00:22:49,683 --> 00:22:51,843 I won't get it. She's a teacher. 582 00:22:51,883 --> 00:22:54,243 - What do you do? - Why do you even care? 583 00:22:54,283 --> 00:22:57,323 She told me you work at an organic dog food company. 584 00:22:57,363 --> 00:22:59,163 - Nice! - Seriously-- 585 00:22:59,203 --> 00:23:01,403 What about you? What are you, a chiropractor? 586 00:23:01,443 --> 00:23:03,923 - A financial guy? - I'm an architect. 587 00:23:03,963 --> 00:23:05,763 I bet you are. 588 00:23:05,803 --> 00:23:07,203 What movie are you queueing for? 589 00:23:07,243 --> 00:23:08,523 The Winter Song. 590 00:23:08,563 --> 00:23:10,443 Jake Gyllenhaal gets hit by a bus 591 00:23:10,483 --> 00:23:12,083 and winds up in a wheelchair. 592 00:23:12,123 --> 00:23:13,803 Rosamund Pike leaves him for his brother, 593 00:23:13,843 --> 00:23:16,363 and he kills himself. Boom. Fuck you. 594 00:23:16,403 --> 00:23:18,963 That's £30 plus baby-sitter money in the trash. 595 00:23:19,003 --> 00:23:20,363 For fuck's sake. 596 00:23:20,403 --> 00:23:22,203 I'm sorry.