1 00:00:06,203 --> 00:00:07,163 - [theme music playing] - [snorts] 2 00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:10,883 Siri, I need help from Rob Norris. 3 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:13,243 - I wanted to introduce Olivia Vasseur. - Hello. 4 00:00:13,283 --> 00:00:15,083 I thought to myself, 5 00:00:15,123 --> 00:00:18,723 "I'd like to suck his cock until he passes out." 6 00:00:18,763 --> 00:00:21,003 - I need a short-term loan. - How much are we-- 7 00:00:21,043 --> 00:00:23,603 Just 10 grand. 15 if you want. 8 00:00:23,643 --> 00:00:26,723 My dad's losing his fucking marbles, you know, he left the door open. 9 00:00:26,763 --> 00:00:29,243 The dog's dead. It could have been Frankie. 10 00:00:29,283 --> 00:00:31,483 To Bridget and Rob. 11 00:00:31,523 --> 00:00:32,883 Who the fuck is Bridget? 12 00:00:35,763 --> 00:00:38,123 - Rob: How was that? - Super fun. 13 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,843 - Did you ask what I told you to? - Which question? 14 00:00:40,883 --> 00:00:43,963 If I thrust too deeply, will my penis hole latch 15 00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:46,163 onto the IUD coil thingy and pull it out? 16 00:00:46,203 --> 00:00:50,243 Yeah. No, it's fine. They put it more than two and a half inches inside me. 17 00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:54,323 Well, then, we're all set then. 18 00:00:54,363 --> 00:00:57,563 So we go IUD or vasectomy. I'm not going on the pill again. 19 00:00:57,603 --> 00:01:00,563 Last time I went on the pill, I put on two stone just in my face. 20 00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:04,243 Well, it is easy to take the IUD out if it doesn't agree with you? 21 00:01:04,283 --> 00:01:07,603 Yeah, says here it can be removed quite easily by any qualified butcher 22 00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:09,083 or bus driver. 23 00:01:09,123 --> 00:01:11,843 Well, then maybe we should go that route. 24 00:01:11,883 --> 00:01:14,563 To be honest, a vasectomy makes me nervous now. 25 00:01:14,603 --> 00:01:18,643 I don't wanna have more children, but I wanna be able to have more children. 26 00:01:18,683 --> 00:01:21,643 Yeah, no. Ugh. 27 00:01:21,683 --> 00:01:25,083 I think I'll go IUD then. I don't know. 28 00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:26,923 We could just use condoms. 29 00:01:26,963 --> 00:01:29,083 [laughing] 30 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:32,883 We have to do something, though. We're fucked if I get pregnant again, 31 00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:34,563 especially now I'm going back to work. 32 00:01:34,603 --> 00:01:36,443 I'll just be taking the piss. 33 00:01:36,483 --> 00:01:38,363 You really wanna go back so soon? 34 00:01:38,403 --> 00:01:40,203 I mean, Muireann's only four months old. 35 00:01:40,243 --> 00:01:43,403 Did you say that to yourself as you went off to work yesterday? 36 00:01:43,443 --> 00:01:45,563 I'm not sure if I should go to work today. 37 00:01:45,603 --> 00:01:47,203 Muireann's only four months old. 38 00:01:47,243 --> 00:01:48,963 Maybe if I could feed her with my body, I would. 39 00:01:49,003 --> 00:01:51,123 I have good news. 40 00:01:51,163 --> 00:01:53,523 700 years ago they invented formula 41 00:01:53,563 --> 00:01:55,603 and now men can feed the babies they make. 42 00:01:58,283 --> 00:02:00,683 I love her so much. I need to get away from her, though. 43 00:02:00,723 --> 00:02:03,003 So what's the plan? We put 'em both into nursery? 44 00:02:03,043 --> 00:02:05,043 I want to take Frankie out there anyway. 45 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,523 He asked me for a cup of milk yesterday. He called me "love." 46 00:02:07,563 --> 00:02:11,963 He sounds like Jason Statham. We'll just get a child minder. 47 00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:15,163 A full-time child minder will cost almost as much 48 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,763 - as your teaching salary pays. - Yeah? 49 00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,123 So you wanna go back to a job that takes you away from your kids 50 00:02:20,163 --> 00:02:22,923 - to earn no money? - Bingo. 51 00:02:28,963 --> 00:02:32,043 - How were they? - Frankie was great. She's tricky, though. 52 00:02:32,083 --> 00:02:33,523 Yeah, she's a terrible person. 53 00:02:33,563 --> 00:02:34,803 Shut up. 54 00:02:34,843 --> 00:02:36,403 How was the funeral? 55 00:02:36,443 --> 00:02:39,683 It was lovely. They laid on a big chili and rice. 56 00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:42,523 - All right. - The rice wasn't cooked properly. 57 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:45,963 At a funeral, like people haven't enough to worry about. 58 00:02:46,003 --> 00:02:47,163 That's true. 59 00:02:47,203 --> 00:02:48,203 Whose funeral was it? 60 00:02:48,243 --> 00:02:51,723 Your cousin's wife. 61 00:02:51,763 --> 00:02:54,043 Ellen. Sickle cell anemia. 62 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:57,043 Terrible. Usually only African people 63 00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:59,323 are supposed to get that, you know? 64 00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:03,363 You two should have shone your faces really. Ash is very fond of you, Fergal. 65 00:03:03,403 --> 00:03:05,123 I said a prayer for him, Mom. 66 00:03:05,163 --> 00:03:08,643 Ah, 'tis lovely seeing the little ones. 67 00:03:08,683 --> 00:03:10,563 Come here to your granny. 68 00:03:10,603 --> 00:03:14,083 - We miss them, Des, don't we? - Ah. 69 00:03:14,123 --> 00:03:15,683 Well, you should get over more then. 70 00:03:15,723 --> 00:03:19,603 Well, we've been thinking 71 00:03:19,643 --> 00:03:22,843 about moving to London to be nearer the grandchildren. 72 00:03:22,883 --> 00:03:24,483 What do you think about that? 73 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,323 [farts] 74 00:03:34,203 --> 00:03:36,003 Dad seems all right. 75 00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:37,763 Yeah, well, he isn't. 76 00:03:37,803 --> 00:03:39,723 He called me Uncle Tommy at breakfast. 77 00:03:39,763 --> 00:03:42,683 And I found three tins of chick peas in his suitcase yesterday. 78 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,323 He's breaking wind constantly. 79 00:03:44,363 --> 00:03:45,883 Amanda is really upset. 80 00:03:45,923 --> 00:03:50,123 [laughs] Oh, God. I don't know why I'm laughing. 81 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,923 We're fucked if they move here. 82 00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:54,083 I always thought you'd move back to Ireland to look after them. 83 00:03:54,123 --> 00:03:58,283 - What the hell? - Come on, you were 40, single, no dependants. 84 00:03:58,323 --> 00:04:00,883 You were on a bullet train headed straight for that situation. 85 00:04:00,923 --> 00:04:03,923 Then he swings in on a vine and saves you. 86 00:04:03,963 --> 00:04:05,803 Now what? 87 00:04:07,043 --> 00:04:08,523 You ready to go? 88 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:13,483 Hey, Fergal, listen, about that loan. 89 00:04:13,523 --> 00:04:16,923 - What loan? - Theloan. 90 00:04:16,963 --> 00:04:19,763 I'm just taking the piss. Do you wanna meet for lunch during the week? 91 00:04:19,803 --> 00:04:22,163 Thursday's best for me 'cause every other day I have body balance. 92 00:04:22,203 --> 00:04:24,763 Thursday? Okay. 93 00:04:24,803 --> 00:04:26,363 I'll see you Monday. 94 00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:40,203 So it's a beautiful day out and I found myself thinking 95 00:04:40,243 --> 00:04:43,603 I could make this day last five times longer by smoking a bunch of coke 96 00:04:43,643 --> 00:04:46,803 or I could call my good friend Rob Norris 97 00:04:46,843 --> 00:04:49,683 and have him bore that idea out of me. 98 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,843 One day at a time, fake it till you make it 99 00:04:51,883 --> 00:04:55,003 and don't run so fast that your guardian angel can't keep up. 100 00:04:55,043 --> 00:04:57,403 - Come on, man. - Hang in there, buddy. 101 00:05:00,483 --> 00:05:03,763 [sighs] 102 00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:13,003 Come on, fuck! 103 00:05:13,043 --> 00:05:14,683 Harita, what can I do for you? 104 00:05:14,723 --> 00:05:16,203 I'm gonna need you to start thinking 105 00:05:16,243 --> 00:05:17,963 about an ad campaign for the new trilofan drug. 106 00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:19,443 Okay, what does it do? 107 00:05:19,483 --> 00:05:20,963 Well, we're not certain it does anything, 108 00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,283 but testing suggests it might not do nothing. 109 00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:36,603 - Rob: Hey! - Hey! 110 00:05:36,643 --> 00:05:40,043 Just read the same sentence about Rihanna five times, 111 00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:42,963 I still don't get it. I'm a moron, though. 112 00:05:43,003 --> 00:05:45,523 Well, maybe try reading a book instead of a shitrag 113 00:05:45,563 --> 00:05:48,243 that tells adult women they shouldn't have hair on their adult pussies. 114 00:05:48,283 --> 00:05:51,163 Yeah, I hate myself. 115 00:05:53,643 --> 00:05:56,283 You know, I've been thinking about you going back to work 116 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:59,763 and I wanted to let you know that I support that. 117 00:05:59,803 --> 00:06:02,683 Thank you. I'll tell the other sister wives. 118 00:06:02,723 --> 00:06:05,723 No, I was also thinking 119 00:06:05,763 --> 00:06:09,403 you know, instead of paying a stranger to be with our children, 120 00:06:09,443 --> 00:06:11,403 maybe we should think about me 121 00:06:11,443 --> 00:06:13,523 being a stay at home dad for a while. 122 00:06:13,563 --> 00:06:17,323 Okay, is that a joke? 123 00:06:17,363 --> 00:06:19,443 No, it's not a joke. 124 00:06:19,483 --> 00:06:22,403 I mean, we're in a good position now. 125 00:06:22,443 --> 00:06:23,883 We've got money in the bank. 126 00:06:23,923 --> 00:06:26,043 I'd get to spend time with the children. 127 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:27,843 Use the time to rethink a few things. 128 00:06:27,883 --> 00:06:29,803 You know, find something that suits me a little better. 129 00:06:29,843 --> 00:06:31,603 Oh, so like a gap year. 130 00:06:31,643 --> 00:06:34,043 All right, look, I can't do it anymore. 131 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:38,243 You know, I had a meeting yesterday with a guy who had no whites in his eyes. 132 00:06:38,283 --> 00:06:39,923 They were just black like a shark. 133 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:42,723 I mean, these are the people I work with every day. 134 00:06:44,563 --> 00:06:46,083 I can tell the idea really appeals to you. 135 00:06:46,123 --> 00:06:49,443 Well, no, it does. It's just I think the time 136 00:06:49,483 --> 00:06:51,803 to quit your job would have been before you had two kids. 137 00:06:51,843 --> 00:06:54,963 It's hard for a mother to say you can stop earning money now. 138 00:06:55,003 --> 00:06:58,483 What about if you just got a really fulfilling hobby? 139 00:06:58,523 --> 00:07:03,043 Right, so like smoking my own meats or magic. 140 00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:04,803 See if one of those can cure my spirit cancer. 141 00:07:04,843 --> 00:07:06,843 Well, now you're just being-- that's silly. 142 00:07:06,883 --> 00:07:09,883 I meant photography or something, you know? 143 00:07:09,923 --> 00:07:12,403 Like the saxophone. [laughs] 144 00:07:12,443 --> 00:07:15,803 You know what? I'm gonna take up golf. See how you like that. 145 00:07:15,843 --> 00:07:18,843 I'm gonna spend all our money on golf equipment and golf holidays 146 00:07:18,883 --> 00:07:20,483 and every weekend you can mind the kids 147 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:23,203 while I play golf like a fucking golfer. 148 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,363 Well, don't take up golf. 149 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,803 You can't have it both ways. 150 00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:28,883 I'm not saying don't quit your job. 151 00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:31,163 I'm just saying let's look at the bigger picture 152 00:07:31,203 --> 00:07:34,243 and you know, talk about us. 153 00:07:34,283 --> 00:07:37,123 - All right, well-- - [TV playing] 154 00:07:38,523 --> 00:07:39,443 [scoffs] 155 00:07:41,363 --> 00:07:43,723 [bell rings] 156 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,363 Beautiful. 157 00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:46,883 [chattering] 158 00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:51,523 What age is she now? 159 00:07:51,563 --> 00:07:53,363 Four months. 160 00:07:53,403 --> 00:07:55,083 Is that a new printer? 161 00:07:55,123 --> 00:07:57,483 That's elegant. 162 00:07:57,523 --> 00:07:59,963 Is this-- Jesus, is this new carpet? 163 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,723 What is going on? 164 00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:03,443 She doesn't look like you at all. 165 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,923 I think-- I think she does. I think she does look like me. 166 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,803 - Are you sure she's yours? - Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 167 00:08:07,843 --> 00:08:10,843 Sorry. Can you not do that with your fingers? 168 00:08:10,883 --> 00:08:13,483 I don't want her to get a nicotine buzz. 169 00:08:13,523 --> 00:08:14,923 When are you back with us? 170 00:08:14,963 --> 00:08:17,483 I was thinking soon. Like, you know, in a few weeks. 171 00:08:20,483 --> 00:08:22,723 - How old is the baby? - Still four months. 172 00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:24,683 You're not gonna take the whole 52 weeks? 173 00:08:24,723 --> 00:08:27,963 No, I'm fucking not. Sorry, no, I'm not. 174 00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:31,443 So what's the crack, lads? What's going on? 175 00:08:31,483 --> 00:08:32,963 - [bell rings] - Okay, well, 176 00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:34,603 I'm gonna be here for a bit 177 00:08:34,643 --> 00:08:39,563 so if anyone wants to catch up. I'll see you soon. 178 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:44,483 Yeah, bye-bye-bye. I'll just be here. 179 00:08:44,523 --> 00:08:46,963 All right, Pete. 180 00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,923 How's the breastfeeding going? 181 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,243 Fine. 182 00:08:50,283 --> 00:08:52,403 When my wife stopped nursing, 183 00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:54,803 it was the smell I missed the most. 184 00:08:54,843 --> 00:08:57,483 My wife was like, "Don't get used to the smell, it won't be around forever." 185 00:08:57,523 --> 00:08:59,203 And I was like, "I don't care." 186 00:08:59,243 --> 00:09:03,843 But she was right. And I did care. 187 00:09:03,883 --> 00:09:06,243 It's nice to smell it again. 188 00:09:06,283 --> 00:09:09,083 I'm gonna wait outside. 189 00:09:17,163 --> 00:09:19,083 This is a better table. 190 00:09:24,323 --> 00:09:28,683 Thanks, man, I wanted to start getting our finances in order 191 00:09:28,723 --> 00:09:32,723 'cause I'm thinking about-- what's this? 192 00:09:32,763 --> 00:09:34,483 What's this? It's your money. 193 00:09:34,523 --> 00:09:36,563 Rather, it's a spreadsheet explaining how your money 194 00:09:36,603 --> 00:09:39,443 is mingling with other money and growing making little money babies. 195 00:09:39,483 --> 00:09:42,483 Having much more fun than if it was sitting in some savings account. 196 00:09:42,523 --> 00:09:44,963 It wasn't in a savings account. It was in a mutual fund 197 00:09:45,003 --> 00:09:46,603 that I had to pay a penalty to get it out of. 198 00:09:46,643 --> 00:09:49,323 - What even is this? - What is this? 199 00:09:49,363 --> 00:09:51,403 What is it? If you repeat a question back to me again, 200 00:09:51,443 --> 00:09:53,963 - I'm gonna fucking go bananas. - Hey, man, just relax. 201 00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:55,283 No, no, I won't. 202 00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:57,123 Okay, just listen. 203 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,243 Some real estate guys I know are opening a resort in Budva. 204 00:09:59,283 --> 00:10:01,043 Where the fuck is that? 205 00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,723 Budva. Montenegro. 206 00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:05,163 - Montenegro? - Yeah. Have you been? 207 00:10:05,203 --> 00:10:06,603 No, no one has. 208 00:10:06,643 --> 00:10:08,443 Listen, it's in the early planning stages, 209 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,483 but you're gonna get your money back and then some. 210 00:10:10,523 --> 00:10:13,243 So you'll probably look back on how mad you are now and laugh by the way. 211 00:10:13,283 --> 00:10:15,963 Probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell Sharon about this. 212 00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:20,043 I can't think of a scenario where she wouldn't kill us both so no need to worry about that. 213 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:21,603 I knew I could depend on you my br- 214 00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:24,483 Don't you French at me. 215 00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:26,803 Montenegro. 216 00:10:30,843 --> 00:10:32,683 This is to go. 217 00:10:34,643 --> 00:10:36,363 Thank you so much for coming in. 218 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,723 Mrs. Hammond, hi, sorry. Is this a good time for a quick word? 219 00:10:39,763 --> 00:10:41,963 Miss Norris, I'm just talking to Mr. Warner here. 220 00:10:42,003 --> 00:10:43,963 Oh, sorry, sorry. 221 00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:48,323 Would just like to address some little issues with Gabriel that we have. 222 00:10:48,363 --> 00:10:50,483 He is such a firecracker in the classroom, 223 00:10:50,523 --> 00:10:52,843 but we need to find a way of containing his energy. 224 00:10:52,883 --> 00:10:56,603 And I'm wondering whether you could help us with that. 225 00:10:56,643 --> 00:11:00,643 We are working our hardest because he's actually a very able boy, 226 00:11:00,683 --> 00:11:05,083 and we want to find a way of bringing the best out of him. 227 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,523 [talking over each other] 228 00:11:07,563 --> 00:11:10,883 ...was very worrying. I'm wondering whether he has breakfast. 229 00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:13,243 - So hopefully see you when I-- - I'm not sure if-- 230 00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:15,243 Okay, thanks, bye. Sorry. 231 00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:17,203 I think somebody's hungry. 232 00:11:26,203 --> 00:11:27,803 I forgot my bread. 233 00:11:34,803 --> 00:11:36,963 [knock on door] 234 00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:41,003 - May I come in? - Yeah, yes. What's up? 235 00:11:41,043 --> 00:11:45,843 I don't want things to continue to be awkward between us. 236 00:11:45,883 --> 00:11:47,763 Neither do I. 237 00:11:47,803 --> 00:11:51,763 I think that the way I spoke to you a few weeks ago was not-- 238 00:11:51,803 --> 00:11:54,763 what I mean is I shouldn't have said those things. 239 00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:58,083 Hey, we all say crazy things sometimes. 240 00:11:58,123 --> 00:12:01,563 I mean, I probably could have done certain things differently, too. 241 00:12:01,603 --> 00:12:02,683 So I didn't imagine it. 242 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:04,443 No, I don't think you did. 243 00:12:04,483 --> 00:12:06,883 The tension between us. 244 00:12:06,923 --> 00:12:08,683 Yeah, of course there was tension. 245 00:12:08,723 --> 00:12:10,163 I'm really sorry. 246 00:12:10,203 --> 00:12:12,563 Don't torture yourself on my account. 247 00:12:12,603 --> 00:12:14,723 I mean, if I wasn't married... 248 00:12:14,763 --> 00:12:18,843 I mean, if my marriage were in slightly worse shape, I would totally-- 249 00:12:18,883 --> 00:12:22,323 what I mean is you're very beautiful. 250 00:12:22,363 --> 00:12:25,323 Too beautiful to work in the same building as me anyway. 251 00:12:25,363 --> 00:12:27,723 And well, look, I'll shut up now, 252 00:12:27,763 --> 00:12:29,723 but yes, there was tension, 253 00:12:29,763 --> 00:12:33,123 and now there isn't because here we are saying there shouldn't be. 254 00:12:33,163 --> 00:12:35,243 Cool. 255 00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:39,083 I'll let you finish your stinky kebab. Bye-bye. 256 00:12:50,283 --> 00:12:53,563 - Hey. - Hi. 257 00:12:53,603 --> 00:12:56,043 - Mmmmm! - How was work? 258 00:12:56,083 --> 00:12:58,683 Not a total nightmare today. 259 00:12:58,723 --> 00:13:00,323 Cool. 260 00:13:02,963 --> 00:13:05,803 Oh, God, you all smell so good. 261 00:13:05,843 --> 00:13:07,443 I dropped in school today. 262 00:13:07,483 --> 00:13:08,803 I've got a meeting with Hammond on Thursday. 263 00:13:08,843 --> 00:13:10,843 They got a new carpet in the staff room. 264 00:13:10,883 --> 00:13:14,363 - What? - Yeah, I mean it's more carpet tiles, but-- 265 00:13:14,403 --> 00:13:16,403 - Still. - I know. 266 00:13:16,443 --> 00:13:18,123 What were you doing with Fergal earlier? 267 00:13:18,163 --> 00:13:19,723 Mallandra said he was with you. 268 00:13:19,763 --> 00:13:21,883 Oh. We just grabbed lunch. 269 00:13:21,923 --> 00:13:23,723 I need to talk to him about Dad. 270 00:13:23,763 --> 00:13:25,683 We need to figure out what to do. 271 00:13:25,723 --> 00:13:28,483 Well, have you thought about residential care? 272 00:13:28,523 --> 00:13:31,763 Yeah, but what about my mom? She's young. She's cool. 273 00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,843 She doesn't wanna be hanging around with a load of old idiots 274 00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:37,603 just playing bingo and flicking through coffin catalogs. 275 00:13:37,643 --> 00:13:40,043 Maybe she would. Have you asked her? 276 00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:42,123 It's not funny. 277 00:13:42,163 --> 00:13:45,403 Are you asking me if I'd be okay with them moving in here because-- 278 00:13:45,443 --> 00:13:47,603 I don't know. I don't know what I'm asking. 279 00:13:47,643 --> 00:13:49,283 I mean, if the shoe was on the other foot. 280 00:13:49,323 --> 00:13:51,363 You know, if you wanted your mother to move in with us, 281 00:13:51,403 --> 00:13:54,723 I would work really hard to try and find a way to make that not happen. 282 00:13:54,763 --> 00:13:55,963 Of course. 283 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,883 We need to help my dad. 284 00:13:57,923 --> 00:13:59,963 He would never ask for help and he deserves it. 285 00:14:00,003 --> 00:14:02,083 This is the man who took on the nuns for me. 286 00:14:02,123 --> 00:14:04,883 Like high-ranking nuns, like the dangerous ones. 287 00:14:04,923 --> 00:14:07,363 The ones that can fuck you up. 288 00:14:07,403 --> 00:14:08,883 Okay, well, let's think about it. 289 00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:11,283 The kids might like it if they moved in here. 290 00:14:11,323 --> 00:14:14,123 And, you know, they say pets are good 291 00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:16,763 to have around to teach kids about mortality. 292 00:14:16,803 --> 00:14:20,323 So grandparents would be like... 293 00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:24,843 No. No, do you not think... 294 00:14:24,883 --> 00:14:26,803 No? 295 00:14:32,323 --> 00:14:34,363 - Don't get up. - Oh, sorry, what? 296 00:14:34,403 --> 00:14:37,843 - How are you doing? Welcome back. - Thank you. It feels like-- 297 00:14:37,883 --> 00:14:39,563 How are mothering duties treating you? 298 00:14:39,603 --> 00:14:41,923 Well, it's you know, it's really been-- 299 00:14:41,963 --> 00:14:45,763 - We've had Mr. Lawler off with his back six months now. - Oh, God. 300 00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:50,203 And Miss Fanning left us last month to pursue her yoga. 301 00:14:50,243 --> 00:14:52,323 I must hit her up for some free-- 302 00:14:52,363 --> 00:14:57,243 - What can I do for you? - Just to talk about coming back, really. 303 00:14:57,283 --> 00:14:58,923 I know you've had a temporary. 304 00:14:58,963 --> 00:15:01,683 - Miss Shanna. - Yeah, she seems-- I met her in the-- 305 00:15:01,723 --> 00:15:03,083 When would you be interested in returning? 306 00:15:03,123 --> 00:15:04,563 I think ASAP, really. 307 00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:10,723 I mean, to be honest, I didn't realize how much I love teaching 308 00:15:10,763 --> 00:15:14,043 until I had to be around my own kids 24 hours a day. [laughs] 309 00:15:14,083 --> 00:15:17,403 I love my kids. I wanna be around them maybe eight hours a day. 310 00:15:17,443 --> 00:15:19,883 The rest of the hours I wanna be somewhere else. 311 00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:24,563 I mean, it's been wonderful. 312 00:15:24,603 --> 00:15:27,043 You know, it's everything I hoped, 313 00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,283 and part of me will find it very tricky to leave them, 314 00:15:29,323 --> 00:15:31,323 because, you know, especially Muireann 315 00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:33,123 because, you know, she's only-- 316 00:15:34,963 --> 00:15:37,323 I mean, she's just four months old. 317 00:15:37,363 --> 00:15:39,283 And it took a while to bond with her, 318 00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:41,283 so now I feel like every day 319 00:15:41,323 --> 00:15:44,523 I'm just sort of making up for lost time and that's hard on Frankie. 320 00:15:44,563 --> 00:15:46,923 You know, he's my eldest. 321 00:15:46,963 --> 00:15:49,043 Because that takes attention away from him, 322 00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:52,563 and he was very sick. 323 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:55,163 I don't know if you-- he was premature. 324 00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:57,403 And he was so tiny. 325 00:15:57,443 --> 00:16:01,443 My husband and I nearly broke up because of the strain. 326 00:16:01,483 --> 00:16:04,883 I mean, Frankie's fine now apart from his kidneys. 327 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:09,763 And one of his ears is still-- We're lucky. We're very lucky. 328 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,963 I suppose what I'm trying to say is 329 00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:15,883 that it's just hard 330 00:16:15,923 --> 00:16:20,603 you know, just to know how to do things best. 331 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:30,363 [sniffles] 332 00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:32,723 Oh, shit, sorry. 333 00:16:40,803 --> 00:16:42,443 I think a little more time. 334 00:16:42,483 --> 00:16:44,163 Yeah, yeah. 335 00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:45,603 Take some time with the children. 336 00:16:45,643 --> 00:16:47,083 I think maybe just-- 337 00:16:47,123 --> 00:16:48,883 Yeah. It's been lovely to see you. 338 00:16:48,923 --> 00:16:52,123 It's been lovely. It's been lovely. Thank you. 339 00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:56,003 Thank you so much. I'll-- yeah. 340 00:17:01,923 --> 00:17:04,883 Hey, you wanted to see me? 341 00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:09,163 You know Margaret from HR. 342 00:17:09,203 --> 00:17:11,403 Yeah, hi, Margaret. 343 00:17:11,443 --> 00:17:14,523 Rob, Olivia's made a rather serious complaint against you. 344 00:17:14,563 --> 00:17:16,163 What? 345 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:18,803 She said you made sexual remarks towards her in your office, 346 00:17:18,843 --> 00:17:22,003 and she no longer feels comfortable working in the same environment as you. 347 00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:25,083 What? What?! 348 00:17:25,123 --> 00:17:29,843 She said you told her that "if your marriage was in slightly worse shape, 349 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,803 you would totally want an affair with her 350 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:36,883 and that she was too beautiful to work in the same building as you." 351 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:40,803 Okay. Hmm. 352 00:17:40,843 --> 00:17:44,483 Did she tell you that a few weeks ago she told me 353 00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:48,403 that she wanted to suck my cock until I passed out? 354 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,243 That kind of language is utterly inappropriate and vile. 355 00:17:51,283 --> 00:17:52,643 I fucking agree. 356 00:17:52,683 --> 00:17:54,363 I'm gonna ask you to step out now, Rob. 357 00:17:54,403 --> 00:17:56,883 I will step out, but I'll be stepping back in tout suite 358 00:17:56,923 --> 00:17:59,963 to receive an apology from all three of you. 359 00:18:02,763 --> 00:18:05,643 You know what? You can stick your apologies up your asses, 360 00:18:05,683 --> 00:18:08,083 and not in a sexual way. I'm taking a leave of absence. 361 00:18:08,123 --> 00:18:10,763 Margaret, I'll thank you to sort that. 362 00:18:10,803 --> 00:18:12,643 Harita, thank you for everything. 363 00:18:12,683 --> 00:18:15,883 Olivia, I hope you die in a fire and that's not a threat. 364 00:18:15,923 --> 00:18:19,203 It's just a wish that I have in my own private heart. 365 00:18:24,043 --> 00:18:25,483 Shit. 366 00:18:31,283 --> 00:18:33,843 [cries] 367 00:18:40,523 --> 00:18:43,163 - [cell phone rings] - Hello. 368 00:18:43,203 --> 00:18:47,163 Hey, I'm gonna give you a chance to explain the £15,000 withdrawal from our account 369 00:18:47,203 --> 00:18:49,803 - before I go fucking apeshit on you. - [sighs] 370 00:18:49,843 --> 00:18:52,363 I can hear you thinking. Don't think. Just start talking. 371 00:18:52,403 --> 00:18:54,643 Fergal. Fergal asked me for money. 372 00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:56,723 Fergal asked you and not me? 373 00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:59,083 Yes, and I'm a dangerous moron for giving it to him, 374 00:18:59,123 --> 00:19:02,083 but when he asked I thought I was being noble or some bullshit. 375 00:19:02,123 --> 00:19:05,283 I'm gonna kill him and you, you fucking liar. 376 00:19:05,323 --> 00:19:09,403 Giving £15,000 of our money away without telling me is lying. 377 00:19:09,443 --> 00:19:11,763 No, it isn't. I wanted to help your brother, 378 00:19:11,803 --> 00:19:15,603 not mine, to keep a roof over his family's head. I don't even like him. 379 00:19:15,643 --> 00:19:18,163 - Now I'm gonna fucking kill him. - No, I'm killing him. 380 00:19:18,203 --> 00:19:21,323 I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna go and kill him now. 381 00:19:21,363 --> 00:19:24,883 - [clicks] - Since when did you become a letter opener? 382 00:19:24,923 --> 00:19:27,283 I haven't seen you open a letter from the bank or any letter. 383 00:19:29,443 --> 00:19:32,603 You just throw mail on the on the letter mountain on the sink. 384 00:19:37,763 --> 00:19:41,483 - Hey, sold enough drugs for one day? - Oh, Christ. 385 00:19:41,523 --> 00:19:44,763 Hey, I'm having fun, man. This is um... [snaps fingers] Leslie. 386 00:19:44,803 --> 00:19:48,483 We met on Tinder. Her profile picture is her giving the finger to a tiger. 387 00:19:48,523 --> 00:19:51,803 And I was like, "Yes, I wanna hang out with you. 388 00:19:51,843 --> 00:19:54,883 - Hi. - What about your liver, Dave? 389 00:19:54,923 --> 00:19:56,603 Liver sliver. I'm on donor waiting lists 390 00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:58,243 at a bunch of hospitals in America. 391 00:19:58,283 --> 00:20:00,363 - I'll be fine. - Jesus Christ. 392 00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:03,523 Also, Catherine dumped me. Didn't I tell you? 393 00:20:03,563 --> 00:20:05,283 So I really want her to think I'm, like, 394 00:20:05,323 --> 00:20:07,803 "in danger." That's what this is all about. 395 00:20:07,843 --> 00:20:11,163 You don't think it's about you being a sissy alcoholic asshole 396 00:20:11,203 --> 00:20:12,243 who just wanted to get loaded? 397 00:20:12,283 --> 00:20:14,363 Also a possibility. 398 00:20:15,443 --> 00:20:17,563 Oh, my God, look at that. 399 00:20:19,443 --> 00:20:22,963 Jesus Christ, do not talk or look at her. She's a crazy bad person. 400 00:20:23,003 --> 00:20:26,643 - Shit. Is she the one you fucked a toilet for? - Shut up, man. 401 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:30,763 Hey, you wanna come to Lucky Voice with us? You wanna do karaoke? 402 00:20:30,803 --> 00:20:34,043 Go to a hospital or something, please. Just get away from me. 403 00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:37,643 Rob Norris. You're a wet blanket, Rob. 404 00:20:37,683 --> 00:20:40,083 You're a wet blanket and a bad friend. 405 00:20:40,123 --> 00:20:42,843 You're not my friend anymore 406 00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:45,203 if you don't come to karaoke with us. 407 00:20:46,923 --> 00:20:50,363 - Oh, hey, do you wanna-- - Don't speak. 408 00:20:53,363 --> 00:20:57,163 - You should have come to me. - What were you gonna do? You're a teacher. 409 00:20:57,203 --> 00:21:01,043 Have a fucking bake sale for me? I needed money. I still need money. 410 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:02,483 Things are expected of me because I'm a man. 411 00:21:02,523 --> 00:21:04,643 For God's sake. 412 00:21:04,683 --> 00:21:07,883 You don't understand. Everything is on a knife edge. We have to move. 413 00:21:07,923 --> 00:21:11,963 - Mallandra, she can't even look at me. - Carol: Hello, we're back. 414 00:21:12,003 --> 00:21:14,043 I'll get you the money back as soon as I can, okay? 415 00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:16,643 Just please don't tell Mom and Dad. 416 00:21:16,683 --> 00:21:19,243 - Offer to let them move in with you. - Come on. 417 00:21:19,283 --> 00:21:21,563 Let them move in with you until we can sort something more permanent out. 418 00:21:21,603 --> 00:21:23,723 - I'll tell them. - What are you, a fucking terrorist? 419 00:21:23,763 --> 00:21:26,883 Hey, do you want a cup of tea? 420 00:21:26,923 --> 00:21:28,643 Don't mind if I do. 421 00:21:28,683 --> 00:21:30,603 - Fergal has some fun news. - Oh. 422 00:21:35,683 --> 00:21:39,123 [mumbles] 423 00:21:39,163 --> 00:21:40,803 You look awful. 424 00:21:40,843 --> 00:21:42,043 Sounds about right. 425 00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:44,523 Well, you should feel awful. 426 00:21:44,563 --> 00:21:48,163 I went and see Fergal. He's gonna give the money back when he has it. 427 00:21:48,203 --> 00:21:50,283 But he's gonna shoulder the mom and dad shit. 428 00:21:50,323 --> 00:21:52,763 - Okay, that's the deal. - Great. 429 00:21:52,803 --> 00:21:56,043 Because it's not worth falling out with family over money. 430 00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:58,443 - No, I guess-- - And when I say family, 431 00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:00,203 I mean my brother. I don't mean you. 432 00:22:00,243 --> 00:22:02,923 - Okay. - Here's some other news. 433 00:22:02,963 --> 00:22:07,403 Just before I found out my husband gives our money away, 434 00:22:07,443 --> 00:22:09,483 I broke down in front of the head mistress. 435 00:22:09,523 --> 00:22:13,603 Full snot cry as we both realized I'm not ready to go back to work. 436 00:22:13,643 --> 00:22:15,563 And I feel bad saying this, 437 00:22:15,603 --> 00:22:19,043 but I really don't want you to give up your job. 438 00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:21,443 Right, okay. 439 00:22:21,483 --> 00:22:25,243 This is the first time in my life 440 00:22:25,283 --> 00:22:28,643 I've had choices. We've had choices. 441 00:22:28,683 --> 00:22:30,403 We can go on nice holidays 442 00:22:30,443 --> 00:22:33,203 or we could buy a dress we like that isn't in the sale. 443 00:22:33,243 --> 00:22:36,043 I know you take a taxi back from the gym sometimes. 444 00:22:36,083 --> 00:22:37,803 The point is we have choices. 445 00:22:37,843 --> 00:22:40,163 I can't stay there. 446 00:22:40,203 --> 00:22:43,683 Why not? Because your job is morally challenging. 447 00:22:43,723 --> 00:22:46,083 Well, whose job isn't? 448 00:22:46,123 --> 00:22:47,843 I used to have to cast the smart talented kids in the summer play 449 00:22:47,883 --> 00:22:49,483 so it would reflect well on the school 450 00:22:49,523 --> 00:22:52,403 when I should have been casting the fat, shy ones. 451 00:22:52,443 --> 00:22:55,243 I didn't like doing that, but I like getting a paycheck once a month. 452 00:22:55,283 --> 00:22:57,563 I can't go back there, honey. 453 00:22:57,603 --> 00:23:00,043 What do you mean you can't go back there? 454 00:23:01,443 --> 00:23:03,963 What's happened? 455 00:23:04,003 --> 00:23:05,763 - [laughing] - Rob. 456 00:23:05,803 --> 00:23:09,883 Well, so... 457 00:23:09,923 --> 00:23:11,603 earlier today... 458 00:23:11,643 --> 00:23:15,883 it's almost silly is what-- 459 00:23:15,923 --> 00:23:17,123 is what it is. 460 00:23:17,163 --> 00:23:19,883 Do you wanna put the baby down?