1 00:00:06,323 --> 00:00:06,643 Mate, I'm pretty sure I can smell booze on you. 2 00:00:06,723 --> 00:00:07,643 Don't you not drink? 3 00:00:07,723 --> 00:00:09,443 I have the odd drink now. 4 00:00:09,523 --> 00:00:10,723 Okay. 5 00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:12,083 Well, I'm not moving back here. 6 00:00:12,163 --> 00:00:13,923 I don't want to die in Walthamstow. 7 00:00:14,003 --> 00:00:16,203 You're not gonna die, and this isn't Walthamstow. 8 00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:19,403 - This is Douglas. - Aloha. 9 00:00:19,483 --> 00:00:22,163 Harita: She said you told her that she was too beautiful 10 00:00:22,243 --> 00:00:24,643 to work in the same building as you. 11 00:00:24,723 --> 00:00:27,883 Well, she told me that she wanted to suck my cock 12 00:00:27,963 --> 00:00:29,403 until I passed out. 13 00:00:29,483 --> 00:00:31,643 That kind of language is utterly inappropriate. 14 00:00:31,723 --> 00:00:32,683 I fuckin' agree. 15 00:00:35,003 --> 00:00:37,323 Harita: Plus, none of the autopsies showed conclusively 16 00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:39,443 that it was triolaphan that killed those guys. 17 00:00:39,523 --> 00:00:43,883 But it's time for us to tell the British public we're sorry. 18 00:00:43,963 --> 00:00:45,923 Though we can't actually say that. 19 00:00:46,003 --> 00:00:48,323 In other news, it's great to welcome Rob Norris 20 00:00:48,403 --> 00:00:49,803 and his creative eye back. 21 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,563 Rob's been in Montreal these past few weeks 22 00:00:52,643 --> 00:00:55,123 teaching a course in pharmaceutical marketing 23 00:00:55,203 --> 00:00:57,563 at McGill University's School of Business. 24 00:00:57,643 --> 00:00:59,123 Good to have you back, Rob. 25 00:00:59,203 --> 00:01:01,323 It's good to be back. 26 00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:03,603 Uh, I very much appreciate that gesture, 27 00:01:03,683 --> 00:01:05,003 but we can't-- 28 00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:06,363 I massaged the truth a bit, so what? 29 00:01:06,443 --> 00:01:08,403 Thought it might be easier that way. 30 00:01:08,483 --> 00:01:10,563 - Thank you, I-- - I'll see you at the extended release 31 00:01:10,643 --> 00:01:12,283 transdermal cyclobenzaprine meeting. 32 00:01:12,363 --> 00:01:13,763 We should come up with an acronym for that, 33 00:01:13,843 --> 00:01:15,403 'cause it takes a while to say. 34 00:01:25,803 --> 00:01:27,723 I just wanted to say... 35 00:01:27,803 --> 00:01:29,163 I'm back from Canada, 36 00:01:29,243 --> 00:01:31,843 and it's good to be back. 37 00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:33,083 Okay. 38 00:01:33,163 --> 00:01:35,443 All right. I'll see you around. 39 00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:44,763 ♪♪ 40 00:01:46,043 --> 00:01:47,683 [knocking] 41 00:01:47,763 --> 00:01:49,923 Fergal: Mate, are you gonna be there for a while? 42 00:01:50,003 --> 00:01:51,843 There's a toilet downstairs. 43 00:01:51,923 --> 00:01:53,523 That seat's rickety. 44 00:01:53,603 --> 00:01:55,923 You might want to get it fixed. 45 00:01:57,523 --> 00:01:59,803 Huh. Just winding you up. 46 00:01:59,883 --> 00:02:00,803 Good one. 47 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,323 Ooh. Jesus! 48 00:02:05,723 --> 00:02:07,923 Seriously, you might need to see a doctor. 49 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,443 He needs to not be in this house anymore. 50 00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:12,603 What's he done now? 51 00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,163 One of my core beliefs is that 52 00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:16,483 I should be able to take a shit in my own home 53 00:02:16,563 --> 00:02:18,323 without being bothered by a stranger. 54 00:02:18,403 --> 00:02:19,603 He's doing you a favor. 55 00:02:19,683 --> 00:02:21,443 Seriously, it cannot be good for you 56 00:02:21,523 --> 00:02:23,723 sitting like that for hours with your arsehole open. 57 00:02:23,803 --> 00:02:25,403 Something's gonna fall out one day. 58 00:02:25,483 --> 00:02:27,563 - Or crawl in. - [chuckles] 59 00:02:27,643 --> 00:02:29,883 - What time are you up? - I gotta get in early. 60 00:02:29,963 --> 00:02:32,723 We have some MPs coming in that we have to bribe. 61 00:02:32,803 --> 00:02:34,483 We fucked up on a clinical trial 62 00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:35,643 and a little girl in Sheffield 63 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,083 grew an ear on her neck. 64 00:02:37,163 --> 00:02:38,443 Yeah, but that's when you were on leave, right? 65 00:02:38,523 --> 00:02:40,283 Yeah, I never would have signed off on that. 66 00:02:40,363 --> 00:02:41,963 [chuckles] 67 00:02:42,043 --> 00:02:44,163 What's it like being back? 68 00:02:44,243 --> 00:02:46,283 - Is it horrible? - It's not wonderful. 69 00:02:46,363 --> 00:02:48,003 Well, if it's any consolation, 70 00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:50,363 you going back to a job you hate so we don't lose our home 71 00:02:50,443 --> 00:02:52,483 gives me the massive horn. 72 00:02:52,563 --> 00:02:53,803 That does sound nice. 73 00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:56,723 I don't mean right now. Not now. 74 00:02:56,803 --> 00:02:58,283 Had a big dinner. 75 00:02:58,363 --> 00:02:59,963 Do you feel bad that neither of us 76 00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:01,883 is gonna be with the kids now? 77 00:03:01,963 --> 00:03:03,683 I mean, I went back to work and they had to get used to you, 78 00:03:03,763 --> 00:03:05,883 and now you're, like, fuck you, I'm off, too. 79 00:03:05,963 --> 00:03:09,203 What, fuck you, I need to earn money to support my family? 80 00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:10,723 That's the opposite of fuck you. 81 00:03:10,803 --> 00:03:12,883 - Fuck you. - Fuck off. 82 00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:14,363 [chuckles] 83 00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:15,803 We need to sort out a child minder, though. 84 00:03:15,883 --> 00:03:18,003 Like a proper child minder if we're both working. 85 00:03:18,083 --> 00:03:19,603 It was all right when Anna was our babysitter. 86 00:03:19,683 --> 00:03:21,923 I mean, you're babysitter's supposed to be shit. 87 00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:23,483 Yeah, all they have to do is put 'em to bed, 88 00:03:23,563 --> 00:03:24,763 and then just sit there. 89 00:03:24,843 --> 00:03:26,403 She doesn't just sit there. 90 00:03:26,483 --> 00:03:28,163 You know when we went to see "Jason Bourne"? 91 00:03:28,243 --> 00:03:30,683 When we got back, the living room smelled of sex. 92 00:03:30,763 --> 00:03:31,843 No, it didn't. 93 00:03:31,923 --> 00:03:34,363 Well, it at least smelled of solo sex. 94 00:03:34,443 --> 00:03:37,443 Maybe she just microwaved a Findus Crispy pancake. 95 00:03:37,523 --> 00:03:40,003 [chuckles] What's that thing on her neck now? 96 00:03:40,083 --> 00:03:41,323 Is that a wound dressing? 97 00:03:41,403 --> 00:03:42,803 Oh, I thought it was a nicotine patch. 98 00:03:42,883 --> 00:03:45,323 Well, whatever it is, I don't want Muireann 99 00:03:45,403 --> 00:03:46,923 peckin' it off and chewin' on it. 100 00:03:47,003 --> 00:03:49,523 - [chuckles] - [cell phone rings] 101 00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:52,843 Oh, it's Mum. 102 00:03:54,883 --> 00:03:55,803 Hello. 103 00:03:55,883 --> 00:03:58,603 [woman moaning] 104 00:03:58,683 --> 00:04:00,483 - [knocking] - Don't come in! 105 00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:03,683 Do you not see the sock on the doorknob, for fuck's sake? 106 00:04:03,763 --> 00:04:06,203 Look, it's a normal thing that people do, okay? Relax. 107 00:04:06,283 --> 00:04:08,923 Dad had a stroke. 108 00:04:09,003 --> 00:04:10,243 What? 109 00:04:10,323 --> 00:04:11,923 On the plane. [sniffling] 110 00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:13,283 On the way home. 111 00:04:13,363 --> 00:04:16,323 [sobbing] Fucking Ryanair. 112 00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:19,323 ♪♪ 113 00:04:22,803 --> 00:04:24,443 Ah, that's what that is. 114 00:04:24,523 --> 00:04:26,283 We-- We were wondering what that was on your, um-- 115 00:04:26,363 --> 00:04:27,483 Sorry to hear about your dad. 116 00:04:27,563 --> 00:04:29,643 Oh, thanks. Thanks for doing this. 117 00:04:29,723 --> 00:04:31,243 I've gotta head over there and-- 118 00:04:31,323 --> 00:04:33,163 Did you know him well? 119 00:04:33,243 --> 00:04:34,923 My Dad? Uh, yeah. Yeah. 120 00:04:35,003 --> 00:04:36,203 So, you're going to Ireland now? 121 00:04:36,283 --> 00:04:37,803 - Yeah, because-- - Yeah, they do it 122 00:04:37,883 --> 00:04:39,483 pretty quickly over there, don't they? 123 00:04:39,563 --> 00:04:40,763 I mean, my Irish cousin Mav, she died, 124 00:04:40,843 --> 00:04:42,803 and you know how you lot do the open casket. 125 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:44,763 - I do, yeah. - Yeah, well, she was still warm, 126 00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:47,123 and I thought it was because she was beside the radiator, 127 00:04:47,203 --> 00:04:49,443 but, you know, I touched it and it wasn't even on. 128 00:04:51,403 --> 00:04:54,883 Well, my dad's not dead. He just had a stroke. 129 00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:58,003 Oh, great. Have a nice trip, then. 130 00:04:58,763 --> 00:04:59,683 Okay. 131 00:05:01,203 --> 00:05:03,323 [laughing] 132 00:05:03,403 --> 00:05:04,923 Oh, hey, Margaret. 133 00:05:05,003 --> 00:05:06,203 That's a nice blouse. 134 00:05:06,283 --> 00:05:08,643 Uh, I would buy that for my wife. 135 00:05:08,723 --> 00:05:10,323 - Pardon? - Tina, 136 00:05:10,403 --> 00:05:12,603 I also like your blazer. 137 00:05:12,683 --> 00:05:13,763 For my wife. 138 00:05:23,603 --> 00:05:24,963 - Top cupboard. - Sorry? 139 00:05:25,043 --> 00:05:26,523 If you're looking for coffee patches, 140 00:05:26,603 --> 00:05:27,883 - they're in the top cupboard. - Thanks. 141 00:05:27,963 --> 00:05:29,403 Oh, and they're all good. 142 00:05:29,483 --> 00:05:31,363 I took the decaf packets and threw 'em away. 143 00:05:31,443 --> 00:05:33,403 - Not on my watch. - Strong move, my man. 144 00:05:33,483 --> 00:05:35,363 - Rafe Bales. - Rob Norris. 145 00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:37,483 Yeah, I know. I started a few weeks ago. 146 00:05:37,563 --> 00:05:40,603 I guess while you were teaching a course at McGill School of Business. 147 00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:43,203 Sure. How you finding it? 148 00:05:43,283 --> 00:05:45,243 Good. I mean, it's a good company. 149 00:05:45,323 --> 00:05:47,403 Good folks. Tacos on the roof. 150 00:05:47,483 --> 00:05:48,563 - Tacos on the roof? - Yeah. 151 00:05:48,643 --> 00:05:49,723 They do tacos on the roof now. 152 00:05:49,803 --> 00:05:51,243 On Fridays. It's awesome. 153 00:05:51,323 --> 00:05:52,243 Do you like tacos? 154 00:05:52,323 --> 00:05:53,883 Do I look like I like tacos? 155 00:05:53,963 --> 00:05:56,123 You look like you enjoy a taco from time to time, yeah. 156 00:05:56,203 --> 00:05:57,403 You better believe I do. 157 00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,563 Well, I'll see you up there then. 158 00:05:58,643 --> 00:06:00,043 I'll just finish making my coffee, 159 00:06:00,123 --> 00:06:01,603 and then I will see you up there. 160 00:06:01,683 --> 00:06:03,363 - On Friday. - That's what I meant. 161 00:06:03,443 --> 00:06:06,083 - Okay. - All right. 162 00:06:06,163 --> 00:06:08,203 'Cause the real issue is the ambulance from the airport 163 00:06:08,283 --> 00:06:10,123 got caught up in the rugby match traffic, 164 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,603 you know, it was an exhibition match, yeah, France-Ireland, 165 00:06:12,683 --> 00:06:13,963 so it was a pretty hot ticket, to say the least. 166 00:06:14,043 --> 00:06:16,163 And that was at the same time the Ed Sheeran gig 167 00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,283 was getting out of the RDS Arena, so you know, 168 00:06:18,363 --> 00:06:21,923 traffic wise, he couldn't have picked a worse time to-- [chuckles] 169 00:06:22,003 --> 00:06:25,043 But, uh, anyway, luckily, it wasn't that big of a stroke. 170 00:06:25,123 --> 00:06:27,123 But, uh, because of his stroke last year-- 171 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:28,843 What stroke last year? 172 00:06:28,923 --> 00:06:30,243 His stroke was two days ago. 173 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,163 No, no, no, no, the first stroke. 174 00:06:32,243 --> 00:06:34,203 Uh, the dementia you've spoken about 175 00:06:34,283 --> 00:06:35,843 is almost certainly a consequence of the stroke he had last year. 176 00:06:35,923 --> 00:06:37,523 What, this was his second stroke? 177 00:06:37,603 --> 00:06:39,043 Yes. 178 00:06:39,123 --> 00:06:40,203 Oh, great. 179 00:06:40,283 --> 00:06:41,403 Oh, well, that-- that's great. 180 00:06:41,483 --> 00:06:43,243 Well, he didn't want to make a fuss. 181 00:06:43,323 --> 00:06:44,403 And it wasn't a big one. 182 00:06:44,483 --> 00:06:46,883 It's not a fuss, he's my dad. 183 00:06:46,963 --> 00:06:48,403 We need to know if our father's had a stroke. 184 00:06:48,483 --> 00:06:50,683 You-- You're so secretive. 185 00:06:50,763 --> 00:06:51,683 What the hell? 186 00:06:51,763 --> 00:06:53,003 And what about you? 187 00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,163 What do you mean, what about me? 188 00:06:54,243 --> 00:06:55,923 Well, you're hardly an open book. 189 00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:58,083 You kept the fact that you were seeing that Sinn Fein counselor 190 00:06:58,163 --> 00:06:59,443 quiet for a long time. 191 00:06:59,523 --> 00:07:01,763 What? I was 18, and it wasn't a Sinn Fein-- 192 00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:04,923 I'm just saying you're a bit of a dark horse yourself. 193 00:07:05,003 --> 00:07:06,603 Jesus. Mum. 194 00:07:06,683 --> 00:07:08,363 Even medically, I need to know, let alone-- 195 00:07:08,443 --> 00:07:09,683 You know Dad and I share genes. 196 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,123 I mean, you don't need to worry because-- 197 00:07:11,203 --> 00:07:13,803 - I don't need to worry? - No, I don't mean-- 198 00:07:13,883 --> 00:07:17,163 Look, I need to know if I'm gonna keel over and have a stroke one day 199 00:07:17,243 --> 00:07:20,043 when I'm reading Frankie the fuckin' Gruffalo. 200 00:07:20,123 --> 00:07:22,243 - Stokes aren't hereditary. - Oh, shut up, Fergal. 201 00:07:22,323 --> 00:07:25,403 - No, no, he's correct. - Oh, and you would-- 202 00:07:25,483 --> 00:07:26,563 Okay. 203 00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:28,483 Thanks. 204 00:07:28,563 --> 00:07:31,563 ♪♪ 205 00:07:31,643 --> 00:07:33,203 Honey, I'm home. 206 00:07:33,283 --> 00:07:35,243 Yeah. What's up? 207 00:07:35,323 --> 00:07:37,843 Well, uh, Fran told me about Sharon's dad, 208 00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:40,123 and her going to Ireland and leaving you all alone, 209 00:07:40,203 --> 00:07:42,643 so I thought I'd check in, make sure you hadn't gone full Winehouse. 210 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,483 Look, Chris, I don't need-- 211 00:07:44,563 --> 00:07:46,163 You told me more than once you had a problem with booze, 212 00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:48,203 and when somebody tells you something about themselves, 213 00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:50,403 I've learned it's a good idea to listen. 214 00:07:50,483 --> 00:07:53,803 Look, there's a spectrum that we're all on-- 215 00:07:53,883 --> 00:07:55,283 A spectrum? 216 00:07:55,363 --> 00:07:56,883 Christ, I haven't drunk today. 217 00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:58,083 Do you want to smell my breath? 218 00:07:58,163 --> 00:08:00,203 No. You want to smell my balls? 219 00:08:00,283 --> 00:08:03,203 No, uh, but let me make you a cup of tea. 220 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,643 No, thank you. I have miles to go before I sleep. 221 00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:10,803 I like your tattoo, what is it? 222 00:08:10,883 --> 00:08:12,963 It's a female panther. 223 00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:14,803 I like your jacket. 224 00:08:14,883 --> 00:08:16,483 All right, let's go in. 225 00:08:16,563 --> 00:08:19,483 ♪♪ 226 00:08:22,403 --> 00:08:23,443 Carol: I should have known when he said 227 00:08:23,523 --> 00:08:25,003 he could smell strawberries. 228 00:08:25,083 --> 00:08:27,283 Fresh fruit on Ryanair. That'll never happen. 229 00:08:27,363 --> 00:08:28,683 Some chance. 230 00:08:28,763 --> 00:08:30,283 They didn't even make an announcement. 231 00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:33,603 But credit to Des, he did stroke quite quietly. 232 00:08:33,683 --> 00:08:34,803 He doesn't like to make a fuss. 233 00:08:34,883 --> 00:08:36,243 When Harry had his stroke, 234 00:08:36,323 --> 00:08:38,003 he knocked over a display pyramid 235 00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:39,563 of Pepsi Max in the supermarket. 236 00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:42,043 Well, there's no good place to have one. 237 00:08:42,123 --> 00:08:43,443 Are you still in your mum's place? 238 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,163 Yeah. God. Grimsville, Idaho, 239 00:08:46,243 --> 00:08:48,603 but still, it's only a dart and two buses to see the girls. 240 00:08:48,683 --> 00:08:50,203 Yeah. 241 00:08:50,283 --> 00:08:52,243 God, Fergal's lookin' well, isn't he? 242 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:54,403 I found this. Look. [chuckles] 243 00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:56,203 Where's that from? 244 00:08:56,283 --> 00:08:57,643 Oh, Sharon used to be a flight attendant 245 00:08:57,723 --> 00:08:58,883 for retarded slut airlines. 246 00:08:58,963 --> 00:09:00,363 [laughing] 247 00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:01,883 St. Mary's step's ball. 248 00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:03,163 Look at the state of ya. 249 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,963 [laughs] How are you, Fergal? 250 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:06,363 I haven't seen you since the wedding. 251 00:09:06,443 --> 00:09:08,443 Eh, all right. You still with houseboat Harry? 252 00:09:08,523 --> 00:09:10,163 Oh, God, no, no, I left him when he hit me. 253 00:09:10,243 --> 00:09:12,803 What? You never told me that. He hit you? 254 00:09:12,883 --> 00:09:16,403 Yeah. Well, I mean, he hit me with the thing he threw at me. 255 00:09:16,483 --> 00:09:18,163 Threw his iPod shuffle at me. 256 00:09:18,243 --> 00:09:19,963 So I just left. Left all my stuff, 257 00:09:20,043 --> 00:09:22,523 and I just walked out in the middle of the night. 258 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,323 - Well, I mean, that's great. - Well, actually, 259 00:09:24,403 --> 00:09:25,683 I mean, I went back the next night to get my purse. 260 00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:27,283 Oh, no. Of course. 261 00:09:27,363 --> 00:09:28,283 And to sink his boat. 262 00:09:30,043 --> 00:09:31,163 I sank his boat. 263 00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:35,763 You still married? 264 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:37,483 I just remembered I left a joint 265 00:09:37,563 --> 00:09:40,323 under the floorboard of my bedroom 20 years ago. 266 00:09:40,403 --> 00:09:42,803 [chuckles] Well, what are we doing down here? 267 00:09:47,603 --> 00:09:49,043 You okay? Do you want a cup of tea? 268 00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:51,363 Oh, you're talking to me now. 269 00:09:51,443 --> 00:09:53,723 Mum, I was never not talking to you. 270 00:09:53,803 --> 00:09:57,043 I was just not looking at you. 271 00:09:57,123 --> 00:09:58,603 I'm going to check on your father. 272 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,363 Fergal's looking well. 273 00:10:06,443 --> 00:10:08,283 Thank you. 274 00:10:08,363 --> 00:10:11,283 ♪♪ 275 00:10:25,403 --> 00:10:26,403 Hi again. 276 00:10:26,483 --> 00:10:28,483 Man, you'd better shut me off 277 00:10:28,563 --> 00:10:30,243 or there won't be any carne asada left for anybody else. 278 00:10:30,323 --> 00:10:32,683 That's a real possibility. 279 00:10:34,323 --> 00:10:36,803 - You can't beat this. - You really can't. 280 00:10:36,883 --> 00:10:38,923 Costs about 600 pounds a week to do, 281 00:10:39,003 --> 00:10:41,603 but in fact, this is the type of shit that makes your employees 282 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,563 hang around two to three months longer on average. 283 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,003 Which can save a company tens of thousands over a fiscal year 284 00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:49,243 in training and recruitment fees. 285 00:10:49,323 --> 00:10:51,163 Also, people like tacos. 286 00:10:53,603 --> 00:10:56,203 How many tacos have you had? 287 00:10:56,283 --> 00:10:57,643 - Oh, actually, I don't-- - Cheers. 288 00:10:57,723 --> 00:10:59,123 Thanks. 289 00:11:03,083 --> 00:11:05,003 [indistinct chatter] 290 00:11:12,603 --> 00:11:13,523 Hey. 291 00:11:16,283 --> 00:11:20,283 Hey. Chris. 292 00:11:20,363 --> 00:11:21,683 Remember me? 293 00:11:21,763 --> 00:11:24,043 I'm still legally married to your girlfriend. 294 00:11:24,123 --> 00:11:26,323 Yeah, I remember you. You want a beer? 295 00:11:26,403 --> 00:11:27,723 No, thank you. 296 00:11:27,803 --> 00:11:30,163 I just thought we should have a little chat, 297 00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:34,283 because you're spending a fair amount of time in my house with my son, 298 00:11:34,363 --> 00:11:36,923 and I don't care for it. 299 00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:39,323 - Really? - Yeah. 300 00:11:39,403 --> 00:11:40,923 I'm not wild about you. 301 00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:42,963 I suppose you could say I wish you ill. 302 00:11:43,043 --> 00:11:45,323 - Is that right? - Yeah. 303 00:11:45,403 --> 00:11:46,963 Although, you have choices. 304 00:11:47,043 --> 00:11:52,363 The good news is that you're at a fork in the road. 305 00:11:52,443 --> 00:11:54,243 One path, the one that I recommend, 306 00:11:54,323 --> 00:11:55,643 could lead to any number of places, 307 00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:57,923 some lovely, some peaceful. 308 00:11:58,003 --> 00:12:01,443 - There you go. - Thank you so much. 309 00:12:01,523 --> 00:12:04,203 The other path is a bad path. 310 00:12:04,283 --> 00:12:06,123 If you were to choose this path, 311 00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:10,043 you better hope the next person to walk it is a forensic dentist, 312 00:12:10,123 --> 00:12:11,963 so they can identify your fuckin' skull, 313 00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:14,643 and your mother has something to bury in the family plot. 314 00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:26,163 Blah, blah, blah, blah blah, blah, blah. 315 00:12:26,243 --> 00:12:27,963 [indistinct] 316 00:12:28,043 --> 00:12:29,643 What are you gonna do? 317 00:12:29,723 --> 00:12:31,763 Bring along a little stepladder, climb up on it, 318 00:12:31,843 --> 00:12:34,523 and punch me in the tits to death? 319 00:12:34,603 --> 00:12:36,043 Oh, you can save me the "Braveheart" shit. 320 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,883 Consider your goal achieved. 321 00:12:37,963 --> 00:12:41,003 Some nut job ex interrupting my chicken Caesar wrap? 322 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,763 Fuck that noise. 323 00:12:43,843 --> 00:12:46,163 I was gonna dump her anyway. 324 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,683 Now I don't even have to do that. 325 00:12:49,163 --> 00:12:51,003 Leave Shelly a nice tip. 326 00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:52,763 She's my favorite bartender. 327 00:13:37,243 --> 00:13:38,683 Oh, Dad. 328 00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:52,083 Where's my fuckin'-- 329 00:13:53,403 --> 00:13:56,323 ♪♪ 330 00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:02,563 Why don't I get a fucking letter? 331 00:14:04,763 --> 00:14:06,323 Rob: That's Mike. 332 00:14:06,403 --> 00:14:08,243 He's 28 and he's got four kids. 333 00:14:08,323 --> 00:14:10,443 I think he's, like, Amish or Mormon. 334 00:14:10,523 --> 00:14:11,483 Whichever one of those does that. 335 00:14:11,563 --> 00:14:13,403 [chuckles] What's her name? 336 00:14:13,483 --> 00:14:14,923 Rob: That's Tina. 337 00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,243 How much do you think she weighs? 338 00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:19,243 I don't know. 70 pounds less than me. 339 00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:20,643 [chuckles] 340 00:14:20,723 --> 00:14:22,963 Okay, so say there's a nuclear attack, right? 341 00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:25,403 And everyone's dropped dead except you and Harita. 342 00:14:25,483 --> 00:14:27,043 How long before you'd fuck her? 343 00:14:27,123 --> 00:14:29,803 I mean, that'd be up to her, because I would never-- 344 00:14:29,883 --> 00:14:32,483 Well, first off, did my wife get killed in this nuclear attack, 345 00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:35,243 because if she wasn't dead, I'd go and try and save her. 346 00:14:35,323 --> 00:14:36,643 No, no, no, your family are dead. They died instantly. 347 00:14:36,723 --> 00:14:38,323 They were vaporized. You know, it's painless. 348 00:14:38,403 --> 00:14:40,883 Oh, then I wouldn't be horny because I'd be sad. 349 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,563 Oh, all right, Morrisey. 350 00:14:42,643 --> 00:14:44,163 [laughs] Fat Morrisey. 351 00:14:44,243 --> 00:14:47,403 Oh, Jesus, come on, man. Fuck, I'm not that fat. 352 00:14:47,483 --> 00:14:49,163 That's like the third thing you'd notice about me. 353 00:14:49,243 --> 00:14:50,603 I mean, first, I'm tall. 354 00:14:50,683 --> 00:14:52,483 Second, I'm very friendly. 355 00:14:52,563 --> 00:14:55,403 And then maybe you'd notice that I'm slightly overweight. 356 00:14:55,483 --> 00:14:56,923 [laughs] Slightly. 357 00:15:01,203 --> 00:15:04,723 So, what's it been like coming back after, you know-- 358 00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,643 After Canada? 359 00:15:06,723 --> 00:15:08,963 After you got busted for trying to bone that French girl in your office. 360 00:15:09,043 --> 00:15:10,243 I didn't do anything like that. 361 00:15:10,323 --> 00:15:11,923 - And how do you-- - Oh, no, no, no. 362 00:15:12,003 --> 00:15:14,043 Everyone here knows you got suspended for sexual misconduct. 363 00:15:14,123 --> 00:15:16,803 It was a fuckin' mutually agreed leave of absence, 364 00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,283 and a misunderstanding. All right? 365 00:15:18,363 --> 00:15:19,723 Keep your voice down. 366 00:15:19,803 --> 00:15:21,883 Bobby. Cat's out of the bag on this one, mate. 367 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,723 You might as well make lemonade. 368 00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:26,163 [laughing] Hello? 369 00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:27,323 Uh, where you goin'? 370 00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:29,163 I gotta let the babysitter go. 371 00:15:31,203 --> 00:15:33,643 I'd wait half an hour before I fucked Harita. 372 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:42,483 [sighs] 373 00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:46,323 [indistinct chatter] 374 00:15:56,843 --> 00:15:58,523 Sharon: This happens all the time. 375 00:15:58,603 --> 00:16:00,883 I mean, I get looked over every time. 376 00:16:00,963 --> 00:16:02,123 I'm a good daughter. 377 00:16:02,203 --> 00:16:03,323 I-- I sent Father's Day cards. 378 00:16:03,403 --> 00:16:04,643 I-- I buy the birthday presents. 379 00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:06,803 Do you know how he knows when your birthday is? 380 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,523 - Because I fuckin' tell him. - [scoffs] 381 00:16:08,603 --> 00:16:10,643 I'm the oldest child, I'm the first born. 382 00:16:10,723 --> 00:16:12,283 Dad's known me four more years than he's known Fergal. 383 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:13,923 Well, maybe he was writing yours and then, you know, 384 00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:15,283 he had a stroke in the middle of it. 385 00:16:15,363 --> 00:16:17,363 Yeah, maybe, but why did he write yours first? 386 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,003 My letter should have come first. 387 00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:21,483 What if the last letter Dad ever writes is to Fergal? 388 00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,363 - You're being ridiculous. - No, I'm not. 389 00:16:23,443 --> 00:16:25,923 What's ridiculous is this family not acknowledging the truth. 390 00:16:26,003 --> 00:16:28,003 Mum, I think what Sharon's trying to say is 391 00:16:28,083 --> 00:16:30,163 - we can't handle the truth. - Oh, fuck off, Fergal. 392 00:16:30,243 --> 00:16:32,003 - No, you calm down. - I am calm, 393 00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:33,923 but this is bullshit. 394 00:16:34,003 --> 00:16:36,203 Do you know how it feels to play second fiddle to that prick all my life? 395 00:16:36,283 --> 00:16:37,283 - Hang on. - Do you have any idea 396 00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:38,963 what that does to your confidence? 397 00:16:39,043 --> 00:16:41,243 Do you know how many terrible men I've had to sleep with 398 00:16:41,323 --> 00:16:43,083 because Dad loves that asshole more than me? 399 00:16:43,163 --> 00:16:45,323 Not-- Not many, actually, 400 00:16:45,403 --> 00:16:47,403 but, you know, this is really upsetting. 401 00:16:47,483 --> 00:16:48,923 I'm really upset. 402 00:16:50,323 --> 00:16:51,683 Where's all the-- 403 00:16:51,763 --> 00:16:53,723 Where's all the photos of me and my kids? 404 00:16:53,803 --> 00:16:54,883 There's just Fergal's everywhere. 405 00:16:54,963 --> 00:16:56,283 It's like Fergal, Fergal, Fergal. 406 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,083 It's like a fuckin' Fergal shrine in here. 407 00:16:58,163 --> 00:17:00,603 My hand's in that photo and that's it. 408 00:17:00,683 --> 00:17:02,083 Actually, I don't think that is your hand. 409 00:17:02,163 --> 00:17:03,323 You weren't there that day. 410 00:17:03,403 --> 00:17:04,923 You don't send me any photos. 411 00:17:05,003 --> 00:17:08,603 Mum, I constantly email you photos of me and the kids. 412 00:17:08,683 --> 00:17:10,203 Yeah, what am I supposed to do with those? 413 00:17:10,283 --> 00:17:13,043 Fergal sends me photographs already framed. 414 00:17:13,123 --> 00:17:14,763 What? 415 00:17:14,843 --> 00:17:16,883 Oh, my God. You're a psychopath. 416 00:17:16,963 --> 00:17:20,083 You don't send a 65 year old with dial-up a bunch of jpegs. 417 00:17:20,163 --> 00:17:21,923 That's like asking a fucking haddock 418 00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:25,243 to do a suduki. Sudoku. Whatever the fuck. 419 00:17:25,323 --> 00:17:26,643 It is-- Because he's the son? 420 00:17:26,723 --> 00:17:28,563 Does that make him more important? 421 00:17:28,643 --> 00:17:30,003 I'm going to let you get this out of your system 422 00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:31,483 and go and check on Des. 423 00:17:31,563 --> 00:17:34,123 Or is it because he embezzled money from my husband? 424 00:17:34,203 --> 00:17:35,963 Rob lent me money and I'm paying him back. 425 00:17:36,043 --> 00:17:39,003 Or is it because-- Is it because you're so proud of his bags, 426 00:17:39,083 --> 00:17:40,763 since his actual business went under? 427 00:17:40,843 --> 00:17:42,323 Or is it because he left his wife 428 00:17:42,403 --> 00:17:44,403 because he's scared of Spain? 429 00:17:44,483 --> 00:17:45,923 Mum, I didn't tell you about the business 430 00:17:46,003 --> 00:17:47,363 because I didn't want you to worry about me. 431 00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:49,323 I want you to be proud of me. 432 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,163 I told Sharon because I don't care what she thinks. 433 00:17:51,243 --> 00:17:52,843 And that stuff about Mallandra, 434 00:17:52,923 --> 00:17:54,283 I mean, that was just-- 435 00:17:54,363 --> 00:17:56,243 I didn't mean any of that. You know? 436 00:17:56,323 --> 00:17:58,283 Dad getting sick has changed everything. 437 00:17:58,363 --> 00:17:59,803 I'm going back to Spain. 438 00:17:59,883 --> 00:18:02,363 I just want to sell man bags and be a good dad. 439 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:07,923 Well, it's all out in the open now. 440 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:11,923 I am proud of you. I always will be. 441 00:18:14,163 --> 00:18:17,043 He's got drugs hidden under the floorboards in his bedroom. 442 00:18:17,123 --> 00:18:20,443 ♪♪ 443 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,883 - [door opens] - [keys jangling] 444 00:18:28,643 --> 00:18:29,563 Sorry I'm late. 445 00:18:32,003 --> 00:18:33,323 Do you-- Do you have my wallet? 446 00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:34,323 No. 447 00:18:41,283 --> 00:18:42,243 I have it. 448 00:18:48,443 --> 00:18:50,203 You're giving me-- You're giving me too much. 449 00:18:50,283 --> 00:18:51,963 [groaning] 450 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:53,003 You all right? 451 00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:54,843 No, I'm gonna throw up. 452 00:18:54,923 --> 00:18:56,883 - Well, don't lie down. - It's fine. 453 00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:58,843 I'm just gonna re-- relax a little bit, 454 00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:00,363 and do it later. 455 00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:01,683 Do you still need me tomorrow? 456 00:19:03,763 --> 00:19:04,923 Rob. 457 00:19:05,003 --> 00:19:06,963 Did you make pancakes? 458 00:19:07,043 --> 00:19:08,083 Smells like... 459 00:19:08,163 --> 00:19:11,443 - fucking good. - No. 460 00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:12,883 Look, Muireann's not long gone to sleep, 461 00:19:12,963 --> 00:19:14,963 so just keep an ear out, yeah? 462 00:19:18,443 --> 00:19:20,363 [baby fussing] 463 00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:35,043 [sighs] 464 00:19:35,123 --> 00:19:38,043 ♪♪ 465 00:20:14,883 --> 00:20:16,563 Don't worry. You slept there. 466 00:20:16,643 --> 00:20:18,003 I slept in Muireann's room. 467 00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,923 All right, so the money you overpaid me last night, 468 00:20:20,003 --> 00:20:21,723 just about covers me staying over. 469 00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:22,723 I'll see you later. 470 00:20:25,563 --> 00:20:27,523 You should have a shower, 471 00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:29,763 or walk through a car wash or something. 472 00:20:29,843 --> 00:20:31,203 You really smell. 473 00:20:33,003 --> 00:20:34,043 [door opens] 474 00:20:34,123 --> 00:20:35,243 [sniffing] 475 00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:45,843 Do you want a cup of tea? 476 00:20:48,363 --> 00:20:50,203 Great. I'll have one, too. 477 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:19,603 I'm sorry. 478 00:21:33,843 --> 00:21:34,763 [knocking] 479 00:21:40,003 --> 00:21:41,763 How'd you know where I live? 480 00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,723 I've dropped you off here like 25 times. 481 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:44,843 All right, fair enough. 482 00:21:44,923 --> 00:21:46,243 What do you want? 483 00:21:46,323 --> 00:21:49,203 You left these in Muiranne's room last night. 484 00:21:49,283 --> 00:21:51,643 All right. Thanks. 485 00:21:51,723 --> 00:21:54,563 Listen, I'm really sorry about last night, 486 00:21:54,643 --> 00:21:57,403 and I'm not telling you not to tell Sharon, but-- 487 00:21:57,483 --> 00:21:59,083 I-- I ain't tellin' Sharon. 488 00:21:59,163 --> 00:22:01,003 You think she fuckin' won't kill the messenger? 489 00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:02,683 Right. 490 00:22:02,763 --> 00:22:05,563 And look, um, this isn't a bribe, 491 00:22:05,643 --> 00:22:07,723 uh, or a pay off. 492 00:22:07,803 --> 00:22:10,563 It's just a way to say thank you for-- 493 00:22:10,643 --> 00:22:14,923 I mean, what you did last night was-- 494 00:22:15,003 --> 00:22:17,963 I mean, I always thought you were a fine babysitter, 495 00:22:18,043 --> 00:22:19,123 but now I know-- 496 00:22:19,203 --> 00:22:20,723 I can't feel sorry for you. 497 00:22:20,803 --> 00:22:23,043 You know, I missed a date because of you last night. 498 00:22:24,883 --> 00:22:27,243 Oh, man. I'm really sorry. 499 00:22:27,323 --> 00:22:29,763 I-- I mean, you can always go around there now maybe. 500 00:22:29,843 --> 00:22:31,283 Can I? 501 00:22:31,363 --> 00:22:33,723 Or do you think his girlfriend's around there now? 502 00:22:33,803 --> 00:22:36,243 I'm sorry. 503 00:22:36,323 --> 00:22:37,243 I-- 504 00:22:45,723 --> 00:22:47,243 [sighs] 505 00:22:51,043 --> 00:22:53,963 ♪♪ 506 00:23:03,443 --> 00:23:04,763 Daddy. 507 00:23:10,803 --> 00:23:11,723 [knocking] 508 00:23:16,043 --> 00:23:17,683 I need help. 509 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,683 How did you know? 510 00:23:19,763 --> 00:23:21,883 How did I know what? 511 00:23:21,963 --> 00:23:23,963 He's dead. 512 00:23:24,043 --> 00:23:25,123 He died. 513 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:28,483 - Fergal? - Dad. 514 00:23:28,563 --> 00:23:30,083 My Dad. 515 00:23:30,163 --> 00:23:32,123 Oh, Christ. 516 00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:33,483 Oh, honey. 517 00:23:37,003 --> 00:23:39,923 ♪♪