1 00:00:05,603 --> 00:00:08,603 -Hey. -SHARON: Uh, sir, your wife is very drunk. 2 00:00:08,643 --> 00:00:10,523 We've had to remove her from our establishment, 3 00:00:10,563 --> 00:00:13,123 so now she's on the streets like rubbish. 4 00:00:13,203 --> 00:00:14,963 -ROB: Jesus! -Whoa. 5 00:00:15,003 --> 00:00:16,283 -Fucking open your eyes! -[horn honking] 6 00:00:16,323 --> 00:00:18,163 Oh, my God! 7 00:00:18,203 --> 00:00:20,123 -[glass breaking] -[tires squealing] 8 00:00:20,163 --> 00:00:21,843 Oh, my God! Rob! 9 00:00:21,883 --> 00:00:23,323 They're gonna give me a breathalyzer. 10 00:00:23,363 --> 00:00:24,563 Wh-What? 11 00:00:24,643 --> 00:00:26,963 I'm not gonna pass it. 12 00:00:27,003 --> 00:00:28,283 What? 13 00:00:28,323 --> 00:00:31,803 [sniffling] I'm sorry. 14 00:00:31,843 --> 00:00:33,603 [siren wailing] 15 00:00:33,643 --> 00:00:36,003 MAN: Your offense showed brazen disregard 16 00:00:36,043 --> 00:00:37,923 for the safety of others. 17 00:00:37,963 --> 00:00:41,003 While you claim custody would be distressing for you, 18 00:00:41,043 --> 00:00:44,683 incarceration is the only appropriate response. 19 00:00:44,723 --> 00:00:48,323 Your sentence is one of six months imprisonment. 20 00:00:48,363 --> 00:00:50,043 You may go down. 21 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:52,123 [indistinct chatter] 22 00:00:52,163 --> 00:00:53,723 MAN: District Judge Hickey 23 00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:56,563 presiding the case of Robert Norris... 24 00:00:56,603 --> 00:00:58,643 You're up. Go on. 25 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,763 -Zip your fly. -What? 26 00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:05,403 Your fly's undone. Zip your fly. 27 00:01:05,443 --> 00:01:08,683 Oh, yeah, no, it's no problem. 28 00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:10,323 MAN: Following Mr. Norris's arrest, 29 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,243 blood was taken, and he was found to be 30 00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:16,163 40 milligrams over the limit, the limit being 80. 31 00:01:16,203 --> 00:01:18,403 -Mr. Norris. -Judge Hickey. 32 00:01:18,443 --> 00:01:21,443 Call me "Sir." We're not in Kansas. 33 00:01:21,483 --> 00:01:23,163 Sir Hickey, 34 00:01:23,203 --> 00:01:26,403 when I was six years old, I watched my father-- 35 00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:28,883 We don't have time for your autobiography, Mr. Norris. 36 00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:31,003 Right. May I approach the bench? 37 00:01:31,043 --> 00:01:33,363 I don't see a bench. 38 00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:39,243 Okay, I accept full responsibility for my misdemeanor-- 39 00:01:39,283 --> 00:01:41,763 Crime. Uh, but this incident 40 00:01:41,803 --> 00:01:45,483 was entirely out of character for me. 41 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:49,363 I was in a very difficult place emotionally, Your Honor, Sir, 42 00:01:49,403 --> 00:01:54,603 as it had not been long since I found out that... 43 00:01:54,643 --> 00:02:00,763 uh, my wife had masturbated off a young student, 44 00:02:00,803 --> 00:02:01,963 uh, a college boy, 45 00:02:02,003 --> 00:02:05,923 on-- on the roof of a nightclub. 46 00:02:05,963 --> 00:02:09,043 ♪♪ 47 00:02:09,083 --> 00:02:11,163 I'm sorry. I just thought if I could 48 00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:12,923 deflect some of the stink onto you-- 49 00:02:12,963 --> 00:02:15,283 300 years ago, if you'd have pulled that crap, 50 00:02:15,323 --> 00:02:16,923 I'm the one who would have been sent down. 51 00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:18,923 With a scarlet letter on me. 52 00:02:19,003 --> 00:02:21,403 300 years ago, you were supposed to drive drunk. 53 00:02:21,443 --> 00:02:22,923 What, on your mule? 54 00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:25,763 Your mule. 55 00:02:25,803 --> 00:02:27,363 Want to drive? 56 00:02:27,403 --> 00:02:29,483 Oh, shit. Sorry. Forgot. 57 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,083 Not allowed to because you're a drunk driver. 58 00:02:32,123 --> 00:02:34,403 -And a fugitive. -I'm not a fugitive. 59 00:02:34,443 --> 00:02:35,803 I turned myself in. 60 00:02:35,843 --> 00:02:39,003 [laughs] You didn't turn yourself in. 61 00:02:39,043 --> 00:02:41,603 If you could have run away from the scene of the accident, 62 00:02:41,643 --> 00:02:43,483 I'm a hundred percent confident you would have. 63 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:45,043 You wish you were a fugitive. 64 00:02:45,083 --> 00:02:48,083 You were arrested, so you're a criminal. 65 00:02:48,123 --> 00:02:49,803 Criminal in a neck brace. 66 00:02:49,843 --> 00:02:51,443 What a fucking catch. 67 00:02:51,483 --> 00:02:54,003 ♪♪ 68 00:02:55,723 --> 00:02:58,043 I mean, I feel like I'm under surveillance with Sharon now. 69 00:02:58,083 --> 00:03:00,443 You know? It's like I never had much privacy before, 70 00:03:00,483 --> 00:03:02,403 but now it's like Stasi level. 71 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:03,483 What's Stasi? 72 00:03:03,523 --> 00:03:04,923 East German secret police. 73 00:03:04,963 --> 00:03:06,403 Well, at least she gives a shit. 74 00:03:06,443 --> 00:03:08,883 Most women would have flown the coop after that stunt. 75 00:03:08,923 --> 00:03:12,243 That's true, but it's still menacing. 76 00:03:12,283 --> 00:03:13,803 -And you haven't drunk since? -No. 77 00:03:13,843 --> 00:03:15,323 Why not? I mean, what's changed 78 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,443 other than that pussy magnet around your neck. 79 00:03:17,483 --> 00:03:19,443 Honestly, the only thing that's changed 80 00:03:19,483 --> 00:03:22,243 is that I now know that my drinking could kill someone 81 00:03:22,283 --> 00:03:23,363 other than myself. 82 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,203 I mean, I didn't care if I got hurt, 83 00:03:25,243 --> 00:03:27,723 but I don't want to kill any civilian bystanders, 84 00:03:27,763 --> 00:03:29,043 or my kids. 85 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,843 Well, you may not have cared if you got hurt, 86 00:03:30,883 --> 00:03:32,763 but did you think about how lonely I'd have been without you, 87 00:03:32,803 --> 00:03:34,203 you fat cunt? 88 00:03:34,243 --> 00:03:36,683 Can we talk about anything other than me? 89 00:03:36,723 --> 00:03:38,523 With pleasure. Let's talk about me. 90 00:03:38,563 --> 00:03:40,563 -How's your new girlfriend? -Oh, I don't know, mate. 91 00:03:40,603 --> 00:03:42,483 It's movin' at warp speed over here. 92 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,043 She wants to move in, got us a family membership at the gym, 93 00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:47,443 which was like, whoa, there, Nelly. 94 00:03:47,483 --> 00:03:49,563 -What's her name? -Nelly. 95 00:03:49,603 --> 00:03:51,843 -Really? -No, it's Tanya. 96 00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,643 Hey, do you want to meet her? What are you doing this weekend? 97 00:03:53,683 --> 00:03:57,043 [sighs] I have community service for the next 215 weekends. 98 00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:58,923 At a fuckin' charity shop. 99 00:03:58,963 --> 00:04:01,163 Christ. It's humiliating. 100 00:04:01,203 --> 00:04:03,043 Yeah. It's probably less humiliating 101 00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:04,283 than having to ask a judge's permission 102 00:04:04,323 --> 00:04:05,883 to go to your wife's funeral 103 00:04:05,923 --> 00:04:08,323 because you backed over her in the driveway, though, right? 104 00:04:08,363 --> 00:04:11,323 -Yeah. -Okay, have a great weekend. 105 00:04:11,363 --> 00:04:14,363 ♪♪ 106 00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:17,243 [car horn honks] 107 00:04:24,843 --> 00:04:26,403 How did you even know I was here? 108 00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:28,363 You told me. Or it was in your calendar. 109 00:04:28,403 --> 00:04:30,683 I forget. Who cares. 110 00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:32,123 [car door opens] 111 00:04:32,163 --> 00:04:34,963 Honey, I'm on probation from the state, 112 00:04:35,043 --> 00:04:37,683 and they're doing a pretty good job. 113 00:04:37,723 --> 00:04:39,283 I'm accounted for. 114 00:04:39,283 --> 00:04:40,523 You need to stop following me. 115 00:04:40,563 --> 00:04:42,483 Don't say it like that. 116 00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:44,123 Like I'm obsessed with you or something. 117 00:04:44,163 --> 00:04:45,803 This isn't "Fatal Attraction." 118 00:04:45,843 --> 00:04:48,763 This is just-- There's 25 pubs between here and our house 119 00:04:48,803 --> 00:04:50,283 that I can't trust you to walk past 120 00:04:50,363 --> 00:04:51,923 because you're a secret alcoholic. 121 00:04:51,963 --> 00:04:53,803 I'm not a secret alcoholic. 122 00:04:53,843 --> 00:04:55,363 I told you that the night we met. 123 00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:57,563 Okay, then a lying alcoholic. 124 00:04:57,603 --> 00:05:00,083 This is inconvenient for me too, you know. 125 00:05:00,123 --> 00:05:02,843 Seriously, why are there so many pubs around here? 126 00:05:02,923 --> 00:05:04,283 Don't we have zoning laws? 127 00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:07,123 It's like Pub, JD Sports, Pub, Bike Shop, 128 00:05:07,163 --> 00:05:11,203 Pub, William Hale, Pub, Pratt, Pub, Pratt Pratt. 129 00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:13,723 Pub, Pratt! 130 00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:16,923 ♪♪ 131 00:05:16,963 --> 00:05:19,963 So, how did you guys get into the whole 132 00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:22,923 cerebral palsy charity scene? 133 00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:24,843 My daughter has cerebral palsy. 134 00:05:24,843 --> 00:05:26,923 Oh. Oh, great. Er-- I mean, 135 00:05:26,963 --> 00:05:27,963 it makes sense that you would-- 136 00:05:27,963 --> 00:05:29,643 I have cerebral palsy. 137 00:05:32,043 --> 00:05:33,963 Hey, have-- have you guys ever seen, um, 138 00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:35,163 "Last Comic Standing"? 139 00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:36,763 Do you guys watch that show? 140 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:39,603 A cerebral palsy guy did that, 141 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,243 and he won the whole thing. 142 00:05:41,283 --> 00:05:44,243 Because, as you know, 143 00:05:44,283 --> 00:05:46,203 people with cerebral palsy can do anything. 144 00:05:46,243 --> 00:05:48,843 I can't drive. 145 00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:51,483 Well, neither can I. 146 00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:56,603 [indistinct chatter] 147 00:05:58,283 --> 00:05:59,323 Yeah. 148 00:06:02,323 --> 00:06:04,723 Any chance I can put my appropriate weight son on there? 149 00:06:06,723 --> 00:06:08,643 Fuck sake. 150 00:06:08,683 --> 00:06:11,283 You can get on the slide instead. 151 00:06:11,323 --> 00:06:12,923 Go on there. 152 00:06:12,963 --> 00:06:14,363 [sighs] 153 00:06:20,723 --> 00:06:22,323 [phone rings] 154 00:06:26,403 --> 00:06:29,443 Hello. Cerebral Palsy Busters. 155 00:06:29,483 --> 00:06:30,963 Do you want to take us for lunch? 156 00:06:31,003 --> 00:06:32,203 I need a drink. 157 00:06:32,243 --> 00:06:33,923 [sighs] I don't know if I can. 158 00:06:33,963 --> 00:06:36,323 They run kind of a tight ship here. 159 00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,203 Nothing happens in charity shops. 160 00:06:38,243 --> 00:06:40,003 Just ask them if you can pop to Greg's 161 00:06:40,043 --> 00:06:41,523 for a fucking sausage roll. 162 00:06:41,563 --> 00:06:42,843 Well, I had Greg's for breakfast. 163 00:06:42,883 --> 00:06:44,363 What? You ate breakfast at home. 164 00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,683 Yeah, but then I, you know, I passed one, so... 165 00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:51,363 -Just ask them. -Okay. Jesus. Hang on. 166 00:06:51,403 --> 00:06:53,403 Sorry. Uh, excuse me. 167 00:06:53,443 --> 00:06:55,203 Hi, um, that's my wife on the phone, 168 00:06:55,243 --> 00:06:57,643 and she's wondering when my lunch hour is, 169 00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,323 um, 'cause she's on her own with the kids. 170 00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:01,283 Oh, we don't take a lunch break. 171 00:07:01,323 --> 00:07:02,843 We just bring sandwiches in, 172 00:07:02,883 --> 00:07:04,883 in case there's a lunch time rush. 173 00:07:08,363 --> 00:07:09,403 Okay. 174 00:07:10,803 --> 00:07:13,323 Yeah, it's not happening. 175 00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:16,003 Listen, why don't you take the kids somewhere nice for lunch, 176 00:07:16,043 --> 00:07:17,643 you know, treat yourself. 177 00:07:17,683 --> 00:07:19,883 Yeah. Okay. Because, as we both know, 178 00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:22,323 lunch somewhere nice with two loud, dirty children 179 00:07:22,363 --> 00:07:24,323 under the age of four is a real fucking treat. 180 00:07:24,363 --> 00:07:25,643 See you at home. 181 00:07:25,683 --> 00:07:27,123 I have my AA meeting tonight. 182 00:07:27,163 --> 00:07:28,883 -Again? -Well, I mean, 183 00:07:28,923 --> 00:07:31,123 you don't really graduate from alcoholism. 184 00:07:31,163 --> 00:07:33,563 So I'm supposed to watch "Game of Thrones" on my own. 185 00:07:33,603 --> 00:07:34,763 Like a pervert. 186 00:07:34,803 --> 00:07:36,523 -Well, I-- -Fine. 187 00:07:36,563 --> 00:07:38,483 If anything designer gets donated by mistake, 188 00:07:38,523 --> 00:07:40,363 put it aside for me, okay? Bye. 189 00:07:40,403 --> 00:07:43,403 ♪♪ 190 00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:48,363 FRAN: Have you thought about a bit of therapy? 191 00:07:48,403 --> 00:07:50,003 Yeah, I mean, we've thought about it, 192 00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:51,883 but we don't really want to hear our terrible problems... 193 00:07:51,923 --> 00:07:53,203 out loud. 194 00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:56,123 Chris always likened therapy to taking a shit. 195 00:07:56,163 --> 00:07:57,843 Better to do it in a therapist's office 196 00:07:57,883 --> 00:07:59,963 than stink up your own home. 197 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:02,123 I can only shit at home. 198 00:08:02,163 --> 00:08:04,203 Well, whatever works for you. 199 00:08:04,243 --> 00:08:07,643 Can't be easy being married to a criminal. 200 00:08:07,683 --> 00:08:08,723 Where's Jeffrey today? 201 00:08:08,763 --> 00:08:10,123 He's moved out. 202 00:08:10,163 --> 00:08:12,203 Moved in with Chris. 203 00:08:12,243 --> 00:08:13,523 Turned down a role in a Vin Diesel movie 204 00:08:13,563 --> 00:08:15,523 to do "Twelfth Night" at the theater. 205 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,643 God, that's rough. Sorry to hear that. 206 00:08:17,683 --> 00:08:19,723 [sighs] We fell out. 207 00:08:19,763 --> 00:08:22,123 But I'm quite happy on my own 208 00:08:22,163 --> 00:08:23,883 in my bachelorette pad. 209 00:08:23,923 --> 00:08:25,443 [chuckles] 210 00:08:25,483 --> 00:08:27,883 I haven't put a bra on before 4 p.m. all week. 211 00:08:27,923 --> 00:08:29,643 Aw. [chuckles] 212 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:32,683 ♪♪ 213 00:08:51,243 --> 00:08:53,163 Hello. 214 00:08:53,203 --> 00:08:54,683 Rob, right? 215 00:08:54,683 --> 00:08:56,403 Right. Thank you for-- 216 00:08:56,443 --> 00:08:59,123 Oh, finish your biscuit. 217 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:02,323 Just wanted to say that... 218 00:09:02,363 --> 00:09:04,363 I realized while you were sharing about your accident 219 00:09:04,403 --> 00:09:06,923 that I was there, on Metro Street. 220 00:09:06,923 --> 00:09:08,283 I was actually there that night. 221 00:09:08,323 --> 00:09:10,043 -You were there? -Yeah. 222 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:12,403 I'm so relieved you're okay. 223 00:09:12,443 --> 00:09:14,763 I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, 224 00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:18,323 but, um, I had to go to the hospital too that night. 225 00:09:18,363 --> 00:09:21,443 I got some of your windscreen in my leg. 226 00:09:21,483 --> 00:09:23,203 Some glass splintered and cut me, 227 00:09:23,243 --> 00:09:24,483 if you can believe it. 228 00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,563 Oh, I had no idea anyone-- 229 00:09:26,563 --> 00:09:27,803 I'm so sorry. 230 00:09:27,883 --> 00:09:29,403 Don't worry about it. 231 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,163 I'm just glad you found your way here. 232 00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:32,803 A lot of people don't. 233 00:09:32,883 --> 00:09:34,803 For me, it was losing my husband. 234 00:09:34,803 --> 00:09:36,803 He died five years ago next week. 235 00:09:36,803 --> 00:09:39,163 I was blacked out as usual. 236 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,203 They think I probably knocked over a candle. 237 00:09:41,243 --> 00:09:42,563 They got me out, the fireman, 238 00:09:42,563 --> 00:09:44,403 but they didn't reach him in time. 239 00:09:44,443 --> 00:09:46,563 Oh, God. 240 00:09:46,563 --> 00:09:47,763 Jesus, I'm sorry. 241 00:09:47,803 --> 00:09:49,923 Oh, thank you, love. 242 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,163 Oh, yeah, and you said in your share 243 00:09:52,203 --> 00:09:54,523 that you'd been listening to a lot of Radiohead. 244 00:09:54,563 --> 00:09:55,923 Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. 245 00:09:55,923 --> 00:09:57,483 Try to get better. Okay? 246 00:09:57,523 --> 00:09:59,123 Not wank off to your little man feelings. 247 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,163 See ya next week. 248 00:10:00,203 --> 00:10:03,203 ♪♪ 249 00:10:12,203 --> 00:10:13,563 SHARON: [sighs] Jesus. 250 00:10:13,643 --> 00:10:17,123 So was he, like, cooked or was it smoke inhalation? 251 00:10:17,163 --> 00:10:19,523 I don't know. I'll ask her next time. 252 00:10:19,563 --> 00:10:21,403 So what age is she? What'd she look like? 253 00:10:21,443 --> 00:10:25,123 Mm, uh, 35, 60. 254 00:10:25,163 --> 00:10:29,363 She looked sort of mousey. Mouse-like. 255 00:10:29,403 --> 00:10:31,923 She looked like she was transforming into a mouse, 256 00:10:32,003 --> 00:10:34,043 and then got interrupted mid-spell. 257 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:36,003 [laughs] Wow. 258 00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:37,363 So you've been thinking about her a lot? 259 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,803 Well, it's just I feel responsible. 260 00:10:39,883 --> 00:10:42,563 Well, there's probably a statute of limitations anyway, right? 261 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,683 It's not a rape. She just cut her leg. 262 00:10:44,683 --> 00:10:46,083 If she was hurt, 263 00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,323 then of course we should help her in some way. 264 00:10:48,363 --> 00:10:49,803 All I'm sayin' is... 265 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,043 was she really hurt? 266 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,443 She had to go to the hospital. 267 00:10:52,483 --> 00:10:54,683 Had to? Come on. 268 00:10:54,763 --> 00:10:56,563 And also, you know, you go out at 11:30 269 00:10:56,563 --> 00:10:57,803 on a Saturday night in London, 270 00:10:57,803 --> 00:10:59,683 you might get some glass in your leg, 271 00:10:59,683 --> 00:11:01,523 so whose fault is it really? 272 00:11:01,563 --> 00:11:05,163 ♪♪ 273 00:11:05,203 --> 00:11:07,963 SHARON: I think we've seen it all now, yeah? 274 00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:10,603 Let's go and get some nosh-- 275 00:11:10,643 --> 00:11:11,883 What? 276 00:11:11,923 --> 00:11:13,723 Can I have this? 277 00:11:13,763 --> 00:11:14,963 Don't you have one of those? 278 00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:16,763 -No. -Give me a look. 279 00:11:21,283 --> 00:11:23,363 Oh, come on. 280 00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:26,203 Let's have a look in that bin. 281 00:11:26,243 --> 00:11:28,083 Look at those guys. 282 00:11:28,123 --> 00:11:29,123 Huh? 283 00:11:29,163 --> 00:11:31,403 How about this little fella? 284 00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:32,803 I want Daddy. 285 00:11:34,963 --> 00:11:36,163 [sighs] 286 00:11:39,003 --> 00:11:40,523 [sighs] 287 00:11:47,243 --> 00:11:49,603 ♪♪ 288 00:11:49,643 --> 00:11:51,523 Let me look at it. 289 00:11:51,563 --> 00:11:53,083 What's that? 290 00:11:53,123 --> 00:11:56,123 ♪♪ 291 00:12:00,643 --> 00:12:02,123 -WOMAN: Hello. -SHARON: Gonna get this. 292 00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:05,003 -WOMAN: Yeah? -SHARON: Thank you. 293 00:12:05,043 --> 00:12:08,043 ♪♪ 294 00:12:19,043 --> 00:12:20,323 [exhales] 295 00:12:22,243 --> 00:12:24,083 Excuse me, uh, we're gonna be closing soon, 296 00:12:24,123 --> 00:12:26,723 and-- Oh, hey. Amanda? 297 00:12:26,763 --> 00:12:28,483 I was just at Vizio around the corner, 298 00:12:28,523 --> 00:12:30,483 and I remembered you saying you're working here. 299 00:12:30,523 --> 00:12:32,283 Thought I'd drop in and say hi. 300 00:12:32,323 --> 00:12:34,563 And-And-- And get this. 301 00:12:34,603 --> 00:12:37,803 Oh, just so you know, I inventoried that earlier, 302 00:12:37,843 --> 00:12:40,043 and somebody's replaced the bishops 303 00:12:40,083 --> 00:12:41,483 with Monopoly hotels. 304 00:12:41,523 --> 00:12:44,163 I guess just remember bishop-hotel, 305 00:12:44,203 --> 00:12:45,483 and you should be fine. 306 00:12:45,523 --> 00:12:47,123 [chuckles] 307 00:12:48,443 --> 00:12:49,683 Fuckin' plastic bag. 308 00:12:52,803 --> 00:12:53,963 You look stressed. 309 00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:57,483 Um... it's just-- 310 00:12:57,523 --> 00:12:59,043 You know, I feel guilty that 311 00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:00,723 my wife is looking after the kids, 312 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,323 and I'm here folding doilies. 313 00:13:02,363 --> 00:13:05,643 Oh, well, look. Think about it this way. 314 00:13:05,683 --> 00:13:07,003 At least you didn't burn your house down 315 00:13:07,043 --> 00:13:10,283 while your husband was in it. [chuckles] 316 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,163 -Wow. -I'm joking. 317 00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:14,283 I mean, I'm not joking. That happened, 318 00:13:14,323 --> 00:13:17,283 but I always think, what would God want me to do? 319 00:13:17,323 --> 00:13:19,603 Flagellate myself in my basement for the rest of my life, 320 00:13:19,643 --> 00:13:24,283 or come to places like this and help people like you? 321 00:13:24,323 --> 00:13:25,643 You have to forgive yourself. 322 00:13:25,683 --> 00:13:26,723 I forgive you. 323 00:13:28,803 --> 00:13:29,803 [muttering] 324 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,243 Are you okay? 325 00:13:31,283 --> 00:13:33,003 I guess it's just-- 326 00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:34,883 A little dizzy. 327 00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:37,363 Skipped lunch earlier, and between that and my leg, 328 00:13:37,403 --> 00:13:39,043 I, uh-- 329 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:42,043 Could you possibly walk me home? 330 00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:43,803 It-- It's really not far. 331 00:13:43,843 --> 00:13:46,883 I-- Could I call you a taxi instead? 332 00:13:46,923 --> 00:13:48,643 It's just I've been gone all day. 333 00:13:48,683 --> 00:13:50,683 I really need to get home. 334 00:13:50,723 --> 00:13:53,923 No. It's okay. I-- I get car sick. 335 00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:56,443 It-- It's fine. I'll manage. 336 00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:02,403 Bishop-hotel. [chuckles] 337 00:14:07,043 --> 00:14:10,643 ♪♪ 338 00:14:21,563 --> 00:14:23,403 [door opens] 339 00:14:23,443 --> 00:14:24,523 What were you doing in Dalston? 340 00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,243 -What? -Did you go drinking? 341 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,443 [sniffing] Did you go drinking under the bridge? 342 00:14:28,483 --> 00:14:29,963 Wha-- No! 343 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,363 The lady with the limp asked me to walk her home. 344 00:14:32,403 --> 00:14:34,803 You walked "the glass in her leg" lady home? 345 00:14:34,843 --> 00:14:36,683 -Well, I couldn't say no. -Oh, my God. 346 00:14:36,723 --> 00:14:38,723 Well, her leg was hurting. What do you want me to do? 347 00:14:38,763 --> 00:14:41,363 I want you to stop farting your guilt 348 00:14:41,403 --> 00:14:43,803 onto some lady who's taking you for a ride, 349 00:14:43,843 --> 00:14:45,163 by the way, I can feel it. 350 00:14:45,203 --> 00:14:47,203 Seriously, you need to get some advice on this, 351 00:14:47,243 --> 00:14:48,603 because this is gonna end badly. 352 00:14:48,643 --> 00:14:49,963 You need to talk to a lawyer. 353 00:14:50,003 --> 00:14:52,403 Get them to send a cease and desist letter. 354 00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:55,683 Cease and desist from asking me to walk her home? 355 00:14:55,723 --> 00:14:59,123 Do not get caught up in her shit, Rob. 356 00:14:59,163 --> 00:15:01,083 -Don't go there again. -Fine! 357 00:15:01,123 --> 00:15:03,763 And seriously, why am I dragging kids 358 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,163 around fuckin' museums 359 00:15:05,203 --> 00:15:07,283 when you're working as an escort? 360 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,563 Honestly, it'd be easier if you'd just... 361 00:15:09,603 --> 00:15:12,283 lived in China than this shit. 362 00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:14,483 Spend what little time you have when you're not, like, 363 00:15:14,523 --> 00:15:17,843 getting arrested or having probation hearings with your family. 364 00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:20,283 She's a fucking fire widow that I injured in a car accident 365 00:15:20,323 --> 00:15:22,083 that I'm trying to help out, 366 00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:25,523 and who has a shaving of sympathy for what I'm going through. 367 00:15:25,563 --> 00:15:27,563 [scoffs] Oh, please. 368 00:15:27,603 --> 00:15:29,083 How did you know I was in Dalston? 369 00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:31,083 -Find My Phone. -What? 370 00:15:31,123 --> 00:15:32,563 The app thing. 371 00:15:32,603 --> 00:15:34,643 You need to stop surveilling me. 372 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,683 Okay? I'm not planning a bank robbery. 373 00:15:36,723 --> 00:15:40,043 I'm goin' to AA, I'm working in a charity shop, 374 00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,003 plus my real job, 375 00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:43,963 and I'm doing the best I can. 376 00:15:44,003 --> 00:15:46,283 And you're just-- I mean, it's like 377 00:15:46,323 --> 00:15:48,163 "Making a Murderer" up in here. 378 00:15:48,203 --> 00:15:50,283 Are you trying to drive me back to the bottle? 379 00:15:50,323 --> 00:15:52,963 [chuckles] Oh, my God! 380 00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:54,563 Now I've heard it all. 381 00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:55,763 Does that make you feel good, 382 00:15:55,803 --> 00:15:56,963 blaming it on me? 383 00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:58,283 It feels great. 384 00:15:58,323 --> 00:16:00,403 [sighs] 385 00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:02,323 Those are for Frankie's lunch. 386 00:16:02,363 --> 00:16:04,003 Really. 387 00:16:04,043 --> 00:16:06,123 Did he pay for 'em? 388 00:16:06,163 --> 00:16:08,283 [slurping] 389 00:16:08,323 --> 00:16:10,003 Or did I? 390 00:16:14,243 --> 00:16:16,123 Oh, my God. 391 00:16:16,163 --> 00:16:17,403 ♪♪ 392 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,163 The receipt's in the bag. 393 00:16:19,203 --> 00:16:21,523 Have a good day. 394 00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,403 -Hi. -WOMAN: How are you? 395 00:16:23,443 --> 00:16:26,683 Yeah, good, just gonna grab those. 396 00:16:26,723 --> 00:16:28,643 [clears throat] 397 00:16:28,683 --> 00:16:29,963 [beep] 398 00:16:30,963 --> 00:16:32,123 It's just-- 399 00:16:32,163 --> 00:16:34,203 [clears throat] 400 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,923 Um, just a minute. 401 00:16:49,163 --> 00:16:51,083 That isn't the right price tag for this pair. 402 00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:52,363 Hm? 403 00:16:52,403 --> 00:16:53,683 That's the wrong price tag. 404 00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:56,443 Is it? 405 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:57,683 Did you swap the tag? 406 00:16:57,723 --> 00:16:59,323 Why would I swap a tag? 407 00:16:59,363 --> 00:17:01,843 Because these cost 150 pounds more. 408 00:17:01,883 --> 00:17:02,883 Really. 409 00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:05,723 Well that's... aggravating. 410 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,483 -Do you still want them? -Yes, I still want them, 411 00:17:07,523 --> 00:17:09,843 that's why I'm buying them. 412 00:17:09,843 --> 00:17:12,123 But I'd be grateful if you could sort it out and find the right tag. 413 00:17:12,123 --> 00:17:13,603 You have the tag. 414 00:17:16,763 --> 00:17:18,363 What? 415 00:17:21,923 --> 00:17:22,923 [clears throat] 416 00:17:22,963 --> 00:17:25,043 I can only think that 417 00:17:25,083 --> 00:17:28,963 my son must have swapped the tags because-- 418 00:17:29,003 --> 00:17:31,083 Your son picked out a waist 27 jean? 419 00:17:31,123 --> 00:17:33,683 [scoffs] You know what? 420 00:17:33,723 --> 00:17:34,923 I don't know how this happened. 421 00:17:34,963 --> 00:17:36,203 I know how it happened. 422 00:17:36,243 --> 00:17:37,723 But y-- What's the big deal? 423 00:17:37,763 --> 00:17:39,683 Really? You know, because next month 424 00:17:39,723 --> 00:17:41,763 they're gonna be on sale for that price anyway. 425 00:17:41,803 --> 00:17:43,603 Oh, I'm sorry, do you work here? 426 00:17:43,683 --> 00:17:46,083 Because most of the time it's the fuckin' owners 427 00:17:46,123 --> 00:17:47,683 who determine if there's a sale on. 428 00:17:50,283 --> 00:17:53,283 Was it worth it? To get some cheaper jeans? 429 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,603 They're probably gonna be too tight on you anyway. 430 00:17:55,603 --> 00:17:58,243 -Pardon? -You heard me. 431 00:17:59,443 --> 00:18:02,123 You know, I could call the police. 432 00:18:02,203 --> 00:18:04,483 And you think they're gonna put you in some nice lady cell? 433 00:18:04,523 --> 00:18:07,043 Because you're a nice lady? 434 00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:08,603 There's no such thing. 435 00:18:08,683 --> 00:18:10,123 And you know where they go? 436 00:18:10,203 --> 00:18:12,363 If you get arrested? 437 00:18:12,363 --> 00:18:14,563 Well, they don't go with you. 438 00:18:19,963 --> 00:18:24,603 Sir, my husband's an alcoholic. 439 00:18:24,683 --> 00:18:27,483 My children don't have a father... 440 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:29,923 this weekend. And it's just-- 441 00:18:29,963 --> 00:18:32,603 just really hard. It's really hard right now. 442 00:18:32,683 --> 00:18:35,683 ♪♪ 443 00:18:57,043 --> 00:18:58,603 [cell phone chimes] 444 00:19:13,763 --> 00:19:15,003 [door bell rings] 445 00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:17,483 -Yeah? -Oh, uh-- 446 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,203 Is Amanda-- 447 00:19:20,563 --> 00:19:21,843 See, I've got, uh-- 448 00:19:24,523 --> 00:19:26,243 I'm sorry, are you a friend of hers? 449 00:19:26,283 --> 00:19:27,763 No. I'm her husband. 450 00:19:30,363 --> 00:19:33,363 ♪♪ 451 00:19:42,603 --> 00:19:44,523 [buzzing] 452 00:19:48,603 --> 00:19:49,723 Hello. 453 00:19:49,763 --> 00:19:51,363 H-- Oh. 454 00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:52,563 Is Rob there? 455 00:19:52,603 --> 00:19:54,803 No, he left his phone here. 456 00:19:54,843 --> 00:19:57,323 And a large Burger King bag. 457 00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,243 Um, hold on. 458 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,363 There's an orange Fanta in it 459 00:20:02,443 --> 00:20:04,203 and some socks. 460 00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:06,083 -Where is he? -I don't know. 461 00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,603 He left about an hour ago. 462 00:20:07,603 --> 00:20:09,723 He left-- 463 00:20:09,763 --> 00:20:10,963 Okay, thanks. 464 00:20:21,243 --> 00:20:24,243 ♪♪ 465 00:20:26,083 --> 00:20:28,123 I left the money for the-- on the-- 466 00:20:28,123 --> 00:20:31,123 ♪♪ 467 00:20:32,443 --> 00:20:33,683 Rob? 468 00:20:34,843 --> 00:20:37,603 Rob! Rob! 469 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,523 [grunting] Ah! 470 00:20:41,523 --> 00:20:45,123 -FRANKIE: Mommy. -[cell phone rings] 471 00:20:45,203 --> 00:20:46,803 [panting] 472 00:20:48,323 --> 00:20:49,363 [groans] 473 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,603 ROB: I'm so sorry. 474 00:20:55,683 --> 00:20:57,523 I had to pick up my phone from the charity shop, 475 00:20:57,563 --> 00:20:59,363 and then by the time I-- 476 00:20:59,443 --> 00:21:02,123 [panting] 477 00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:03,963 Okay. 478 00:21:04,003 --> 00:21:05,523 I'm okay. 479 00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:09,203 ♪♪ 480 00:21:09,243 --> 00:21:11,203 SHARON: Can I help you? 481 00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:13,483 Oh, uh, I was looking for Rob. 482 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,843 Oh, he's-- he's not home. He's-- 483 00:21:14,923 --> 00:21:16,803 May I, uh, come inside and wait for him? 484 00:21:18,123 --> 00:21:19,683 Um... 485 00:21:19,723 --> 00:21:21,043 Do you know what? Let me get 486 00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:24,363 the push chair inside. 487 00:21:24,363 --> 00:21:26,523 Uh, you-- you know, actually, um-- 488 00:21:26,563 --> 00:21:28,323 Let me give him a call, 489 00:21:28,363 --> 00:21:29,803 because, uh, I can tell him that-- 490 00:21:29,843 --> 00:21:32,603 Hey! What the hell? 491 00:21:32,683 --> 00:21:33,763 Did she hurt you? 492 00:21:33,803 --> 00:21:35,563 What? No, I fell over. 493 00:21:35,603 --> 00:21:37,843 You cannot come here. You cannot come to my home. 494 00:21:37,843 --> 00:21:39,363 Why are you angry? I don't understand. 495 00:21:39,443 --> 00:21:42,963 I just met your husband. Okay? Your alive husband. 496 00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:45,203 You know, you might not get jail time 497 00:21:45,243 --> 00:21:47,363 for burning somebody in a bullshit story, 498 00:21:47,443 --> 00:21:49,043 but you should at least get a fine. 499 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:50,523 I mean, are you even an alcoholic? 500 00:21:50,563 --> 00:21:51,963 Is your name even Amanda? 501 00:21:52,003 --> 00:21:55,283 It's probably fuckin' Joan. 502 00:21:55,323 --> 00:21:58,003 You called it. My smart wife. 503 00:21:58,043 --> 00:22:00,043 She fuckin' knew. 504 00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:02,043 Rob, maybe we could talk about this somewhere in private. 505 00:22:02,083 --> 00:22:04,203 Never come near me and my family again 506 00:22:04,243 --> 00:22:06,243 unless you want to take another trip to the hospital. 507 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:09,483 That's too much. Come on. 508 00:22:09,523 --> 00:22:11,243 I'm sorry. Okay? I didn't mean that. 509 00:22:11,283 --> 00:22:14,083 I'm sorry. Have a good evening. 510 00:22:15,923 --> 00:22:18,923 ♪♪ 511 00:22:33,963 --> 00:22:34,963 I'm sorry. 512 00:22:35,003 --> 00:22:37,123 Yeah, you should be. 513 00:22:37,163 --> 00:22:40,843 Because that scared everyone, me, limp lady, the kids. 514 00:22:40,883 --> 00:22:42,643 And the neighbors. 515 00:22:42,683 --> 00:22:44,883 Mike Walsh just called and asked if we were okay. 516 00:22:44,923 --> 00:22:47,843 -What'd you tell him? -I told him to give me back my cordless drill. 517 00:22:47,883 --> 00:22:49,443 [laughs] 518 00:22:51,843 --> 00:22:52,883 I am sorry. 519 00:22:54,483 --> 00:22:55,683 Can I ask you something? 520 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:03,443 Were you unhappy the whole time? 521 00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,163 Like when we had that weekend in Margate. 522 00:23:05,203 --> 00:23:06,683 Were you unhappy in Margate? 523 00:23:06,723 --> 00:23:08,163 What about when we went to Whipsnade Zoo? 524 00:23:08,203 --> 00:23:09,603 Were you drinking in Whipsnade Zoo? 525 00:23:09,643 --> 00:23:11,163 No, why-- why would I-- 526 00:23:11,203 --> 00:23:12,883 Well, you weren't happy. 527 00:23:12,923 --> 00:23:15,283 You didn't love being a dad and a husband enough 528 00:23:15,323 --> 00:23:17,003 to not drink vodka in the basement. 529 00:23:17,043 --> 00:23:20,883 Honey, those things can co-exist. 530 00:23:20,923 --> 00:23:22,203 Did you ever drive with the kids in the car 531 00:23:22,243 --> 00:23:23,683 when you were drinking? 532 00:23:23,723 --> 00:23:25,243 No, God, no. I would never-- 533 00:23:25,283 --> 00:23:27,243 Oh, so just with me, then. 534 00:23:27,283 --> 00:23:29,643 [sighs] 535 00:23:29,683 --> 00:23:32,523 Honey, I-- I need you to try and trust me again. 536 00:23:32,563 --> 00:23:34,643 Just so you don't worry or panic 537 00:23:34,683 --> 00:23:36,003 when you don't know where I am, 538 00:23:36,043 --> 00:23:37,843 and feel like you have to track me. 539 00:23:37,883 --> 00:23:40,523 I'm not doing that 'cause I don't trust you. 540 00:23:40,563 --> 00:23:42,283 Well, then, why are you? 541 00:23:44,043 --> 00:23:47,403 Because I get scared when I can't see you. 542 00:23:47,443 --> 00:23:49,163 Okay? 543 00:23:49,203 --> 00:23:51,843 I had to look at you in the mangled wreck of a car. 544 00:23:51,883 --> 00:23:54,843 From the time it took me to run from that shitty pizza place to the car, 545 00:23:54,883 --> 00:23:56,043 I thought you were dead. 546 00:23:56,083 --> 00:23:57,563 Oh, honey. 547 00:23:59,403 --> 00:24:00,443 Ah-- 548 00:24:02,643 --> 00:24:04,363 Just don't die on me. 549 00:24:04,403 --> 00:24:07,483 The kids would be fucked if you die first. 550 00:24:07,523 --> 00:24:08,843 Well, I mean, 551 00:24:08,883 --> 00:24:12,403 they'd be way more fucked if you died first. 552 00:24:12,443 --> 00:24:14,603 Don't know about that. 553 00:24:14,643 --> 00:24:18,043 I don't feel like much of a mother right now. 554 00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:20,123 I got caught stealing today. 555 00:24:20,163 --> 00:24:21,923 From a shop. With the kids. 556 00:24:21,963 --> 00:24:23,523 Like a meth head. 557 00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:26,323 Might have got arrested. 558 00:24:26,363 --> 00:24:27,883 Why are you laughing? 559 00:24:27,923 --> 00:24:31,523 Because that's like a garden variety cry for help. 560 00:24:31,563 --> 00:24:33,483 Well, then, help me. 561 00:24:33,523 --> 00:24:35,683 Answer my cry for help. 562 00:24:35,723 --> 00:24:37,483 What'd you steal? 563 00:24:37,523 --> 00:24:40,003 A dinosaur pillow and a pair of jeans. 564 00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:42,563 Oh, well, then it's just a matter of time 565 00:24:42,603 --> 00:24:44,243 before the SWAT team gets here. 566 00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:45,443 [laughs] 567 00:24:45,483 --> 00:24:46,763 Fuck off. 568 00:24:50,603 --> 00:24:52,483 Check out Bonnie and Clyde here. 569 00:24:52,523 --> 00:24:54,123 [chuckling] 570 00:25:08,923 --> 00:25:10,923 [grunting] 571 00:25:21,283 --> 00:25:24,283 [heavy breathing] 572 00:25:27,963 --> 00:25:29,763 [laughing] 573 00:25:33,203 --> 00:25:34,443 I'm so sorry. 574 00:25:34,483 --> 00:25:36,123 I just-- I-- It's the neck brace. 575 00:25:36,163 --> 00:25:37,723 -Oh. -I'm sorry. I just-- 576 00:25:39,043 --> 00:25:40,763 Shall I turn around and then you can-- 577 00:25:40,803 --> 00:25:42,843 -Uh, sure. -'Cause then I don't-- Yeah. 578 00:25:42,883 --> 00:25:44,883 [sighing] 579 00:25:44,923 --> 00:25:46,923 [heavy breathing] 580 00:25:48,603 --> 00:25:50,763 Wait, no, sorry, sorry. Now I can see you in the mirror. 581 00:25:50,803 --> 00:25:53,683 Wh-- Uh-- Should I turn the light off? 582 00:25:53,723 --> 00:25:54,963 Yeah, that'd be great. Sorry. 583 00:25:55,003 --> 00:25:56,243 Thanks so much. 584 00:25:58,683 --> 00:26:01,683 ♪♪