1 00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:08,723 -Aww. -What? 2 00:00:08,763 --> 00:00:10,643 Sort of miss the neck brace. 3 00:00:10,683 --> 00:00:13,043 It was like a powerful turtleneck. 4 00:00:13,123 --> 00:00:15,723 You looked like Robert Redford in "The Way We Were." 5 00:00:15,763 --> 00:00:18,323 Well, should I get a cravat? 6 00:00:18,363 --> 00:00:20,763 [chuckles] Well, you can't just go from brace to nothing. 7 00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,723 [chuckling] 8 00:00:22,763 --> 00:00:24,003 So, all good? 9 00:00:24,043 --> 00:00:25,403 Yeah, I got the all clear. 10 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,963 Got the clean full bill of health. 11 00:00:28,003 --> 00:00:29,523 You know, she even said that my weight loss 12 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,043 has made my penis look bigger. 13 00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:34,323 Did you tell her about the bed sweats? 14 00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:35,763 Yeah, she wasn't worried about that. 15 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,123 Really? 16 00:00:37,123 --> 00:00:39,563 Did you tell her how it soaks the whole bed now? 17 00:00:39,603 --> 00:00:41,443 Does she not think that's weird and gross? 18 00:00:41,483 --> 00:00:43,083 She didn't use those words. 19 00:00:43,123 --> 00:00:45,123 Did you show her the brown thing that just grew on your leg? 20 00:00:45,163 --> 00:00:47,123 Uh, first of all, it's beige, 21 00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:50,043 and does it bother you that I've been declared healthy? 22 00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:53,003 No, it doesn't bother me that you're healthy. 23 00:00:53,043 --> 00:00:54,603 It's great. 24 00:00:54,643 --> 00:00:57,123 It's just interesting that you could spend 40 years 25 00:00:57,163 --> 00:00:58,643 inhaling sausage rolls 26 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,243 and get rewarded with a clean bill of health. 27 00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:02,443 That's, you know, well, good for you. 28 00:01:02,483 --> 00:01:04,363 Well, you should get a check up. 29 00:01:04,403 --> 00:01:05,803 I'm fine. 30 00:01:05,843 --> 00:01:07,443 Well, how do you know? I mean, you look fine, 31 00:01:07,483 --> 00:01:09,923 but it could be a mess in there. 32 00:01:09,963 --> 00:01:11,483 [laughs] 33 00:01:11,523 --> 00:01:12,723 What are you laughing at? 34 00:01:12,763 --> 00:01:14,203 No, I was just thinking, you know, 35 00:01:14,243 --> 00:01:16,083 one day, each of us is gonna go to the doctor, 36 00:01:16,123 --> 00:01:18,603 and be told, "I have extremely bad news." 37 00:01:18,683 --> 00:01:20,803 Jesus Christ! 38 00:01:22,323 --> 00:01:24,843 You know, I think I'm gonna train for a 10k. 39 00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:26,523 Do you want to join me? 40 00:01:26,563 --> 00:01:28,043 -No. -Why? 41 00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:29,723 You fart when you run. 42 00:01:29,763 --> 00:01:31,363 Well, if you ran faster, 43 00:01:31,403 --> 00:01:33,363 then you wouldn't have to huff 'em, slowpoke. 44 00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:35,963 Slowpoke? Oh, my God. 45 00:01:36,003 --> 00:01:38,763 I totally run faster than you. 46 00:01:38,803 --> 00:01:40,003 Mm, no, you don't. 47 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:45,083 This is ridiculous! 48 00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:48,363 This is silly. 49 00:01:48,403 --> 00:01:50,163 I'm wearing heels. 50 00:01:50,203 --> 00:01:52,083 And carrying a bag. 51 00:01:52,123 --> 00:01:53,443 I wasn't even trying. 52 00:01:55,923 --> 00:01:57,083 Now I'm trying! 53 00:01:57,123 --> 00:02:01,083 ♪♪ 54 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,123 I had no idea I was so healthy. 55 00:02:05,163 --> 00:02:07,403 I'm thinking about competing in a Masters tournament or something. 56 00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:09,563 I don't think you qualify for Masters tournaments 57 00:02:09,603 --> 00:02:10,923 just by being old. 58 00:02:10,963 --> 00:02:12,643 I think you also have to be good at sport. 59 00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:14,843 Well, their loss. 60 00:02:14,883 --> 00:02:16,363 I had the full check up myself 61 00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:18,003 a few weeks back. 62 00:02:18,043 --> 00:02:19,803 Tanya wants to start trying for a baby. 63 00:02:19,843 --> 00:02:22,483 I figured if I do it right now, immediately, 64 00:02:22,563 --> 00:02:24,203 then there's probably just enough time for me 65 00:02:24,283 --> 00:02:27,283 to watch it grow up before I run out of steam. 66 00:02:27,323 --> 00:02:28,843 If there's any hiccups, I'm fucked. 67 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:31,363 Wow. Now, why would you do that? 68 00:02:31,403 --> 00:02:32,923 'Cause she wants a baby. 69 00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:34,723 I already tried to tell her to do it with somebody younger, 70 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,203 but she likes me. 71 00:02:36,283 --> 00:02:38,003 And, you know, she's got a good career, 72 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:40,363 and her folks have money, so, you know, 73 00:02:40,403 --> 00:02:42,803 if I get Alzheimer's or assassinated, 74 00:02:42,843 --> 00:02:45,203 then her and the wee one should be all set. 75 00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:46,803 Mm, you really thought this through. 76 00:02:46,843 --> 00:02:49,283 Plus, Tanya's on board for all my sexual proclivities, 77 00:02:49,323 --> 00:02:51,083 and that is not a given for every woman I meet. 78 00:02:51,123 --> 00:02:53,163 [scoffs] Tell me about it. 79 00:02:53,203 --> 00:02:55,363 Dave and I'll start a prayer circle for you. 80 00:02:55,403 --> 00:02:57,523 No, no. I support older dads. 81 00:02:57,563 --> 00:03:00,803 I mean, I'm in my late 40s. I've just had a baby. 82 00:03:00,843 --> 00:03:03,043 I know I'm not as old as you, but-- 83 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,443 I'm the same age as you, asshole. 84 00:03:05,963 --> 00:03:07,003 Really? 85 00:03:08,723 --> 00:03:10,963 Oh! Hey. That reminds me. 86 00:03:11,003 --> 00:03:13,883 I've got something to show you. 87 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:16,923 Is that what we're eating right now? 88 00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:18,403 [laughing] 89 00:03:18,443 --> 00:03:21,123 No. That is Mr. Barnaby Honeypot. 90 00:03:21,163 --> 00:03:22,563 Daphne's new pony. 91 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,403 Did you ride it here? 92 00:03:24,443 --> 00:03:25,883 Is it tied to a post out front? 93 00:03:25,923 --> 00:03:27,803 [chuckles] No. It's on our farm. 94 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:33,123 Oh! We bought a farm. In Kent. Yeah. 95 00:03:33,163 --> 00:03:34,723 I bought it because I don't want Daphne 96 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:36,163 getting stabbed to death in London. 97 00:03:36,203 --> 00:03:38,883 [chuckles] I'm such a dad now. 98 00:03:38,923 --> 00:03:41,523 Actually, we're going down this weekend. 99 00:03:41,563 --> 00:03:43,483 You guys want to come? You can bring the kids. 100 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:45,243 -Fuck yeah. -I can't this weekend. 101 00:03:45,283 --> 00:03:46,603 Tanya and I are taking some mushrooms 102 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,323 and going to a Renaissance fair in Norfolk. 103 00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:51,963 What? 104 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,123 SHARON: I mean, I feel pretty healthy. 105 00:03:55,163 --> 00:03:56,203 I feel good. 106 00:03:56,243 --> 00:03:58,243 Except for the peeing myself thing. 107 00:03:58,283 --> 00:04:00,123 I mean, it used to just happen when I was trampolining, 108 00:04:00,163 --> 00:04:01,963 and now it's just whenever. 109 00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:04,323 As needed. 110 00:04:04,363 --> 00:04:06,043 Is there anything we could do about that? 111 00:04:06,083 --> 00:04:09,043 God, no. We're probably closer to curing cancer 112 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,483 than figuring out how the hell mothers not pee when they don't want to. 113 00:04:11,523 --> 00:04:12,963 Oh. 114 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,763 So, we've got your tests back. 115 00:04:14,803 --> 00:04:16,443 I'm afraid your cholesterol level 116 00:04:16,483 --> 00:04:18,243 is quite high for a woman your age. 117 00:04:18,283 --> 00:04:20,723 You sure? My cholesterol feels fine. 118 00:04:20,763 --> 00:04:23,283 Also, your bloods are indicating a high level of fat 119 00:04:23,283 --> 00:04:24,963 around your organs. 120 00:04:25,043 --> 00:04:27,643 Uh, and I have to say, your mobility isn't great. 121 00:04:27,683 --> 00:04:29,083 What? What does that mean? 122 00:04:29,123 --> 00:04:31,403 Uh, you couldn't touch your toes earlier. 123 00:04:31,403 --> 00:04:33,363 Some people just can't do that. 124 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,723 I mean, it's like wiggling your ears. Or moon walking. 125 00:04:35,763 --> 00:04:37,483 But the good news is, your weight is within 126 00:04:37,523 --> 00:04:39,083 the healthy limit for your age and height. 127 00:04:39,123 --> 00:04:41,283 So you're saying the package is the right size, 128 00:04:41,283 --> 00:04:43,243 but what's inside the package is just shit. 129 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,963 -No. -You're saying if you took a normal size mannequin 130 00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:48,963 and filled it with meatballs and margarine, 131 00:04:49,043 --> 00:04:50,843 -that'd be me. -That's not what I'm saying. 132 00:04:50,843 --> 00:04:53,923 Well, medically, that is exactly what you're saying. 133 00:04:53,963 --> 00:04:56,283 Fine. 134 00:04:56,283 --> 00:04:58,763 SHARON: Just never thought of myself 135 00:04:58,803 --> 00:05:02,203 as unhealthy before, 'cause I'm, you know, a runner. 136 00:05:02,243 --> 00:05:04,083 -How are you a runner? -[knocking] 137 00:05:04,123 --> 00:05:05,963 I used to run cross-country at uni. 138 00:05:06,043 --> 00:05:07,923 Yeah, I mean, I used to build pillow forts, 139 00:05:07,963 --> 00:05:09,643 that doesn't mean I'm currently an architect. 140 00:05:09,683 --> 00:05:12,923 Yeah, but... muscle memory. 141 00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:14,523 Hey. 142 00:05:14,563 --> 00:05:16,203 -Are you going raving? -No, running. 143 00:05:16,243 --> 00:05:17,763 Oh, what, so I'm babysitting so you can go running? 144 00:05:17,803 --> 00:05:19,523 -Yeah. -Fair enough. 145 00:05:19,563 --> 00:05:22,203 -[door closes] -ANNA: You know, you should be careful. 146 00:05:22,243 --> 00:05:24,403 My Uncle Kevin, right, he started running when he was your age, 147 00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:25,843 like 60 or whatever, 148 00:05:25,843 --> 00:05:28,523 he did one run and collapsed and died. 149 00:05:28,563 --> 00:05:30,083 Well, that's unlikely to happen. 150 00:05:30,123 --> 00:05:31,963 Older people are better off standing still, I think. 151 00:05:31,963 --> 00:05:34,083 Like, you get to a certain age, and you start exercising, 152 00:05:34,123 --> 00:05:36,363 you shake bad stuff loose and it gets in your bloodstream, 153 00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:37,843 and it poison's ya, 154 00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:41,043 and you just drop dead straightaway. 155 00:05:41,083 --> 00:05:42,563 Okay, see you about half-seven, Anna. 156 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:43,643 Thank you. 157 00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:48,963 How far was that? 158 00:05:49,003 --> 00:05:52,283 -Uh, 2.3 miles. -What? 159 00:05:52,323 --> 00:05:53,843 -Miles. -Yeah. 160 00:05:53,883 --> 00:05:55,763 Wow, bloody hell. 161 00:05:55,803 --> 00:05:58,203 -That's good. -Yeah. 162 00:05:58,243 --> 00:05:59,403 We're gonna tube back there, right? 163 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:00,883 Oh, yeah. 164 00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:03,443 That's so fuckin' dangerous. 165 00:06:03,483 --> 00:06:05,443 [engine revving] 166 00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:07,163 What if a kid ran out? 167 00:06:07,203 --> 00:06:09,043 Tell 'em to slow down. 168 00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:10,443 Slow down. 169 00:06:10,483 --> 00:06:12,043 [engine revving] 170 00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:14,083 Ahh! Ahh! 171 00:06:14,123 --> 00:06:15,683 -Ohh! -What the hell just happened? 172 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,963 Oh, God, my eyes! [groans] 173 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,123 Oh, my God, it's acid. 174 00:06:19,163 --> 00:06:20,563 What? Rob. 175 00:06:20,603 --> 00:06:22,963 -Oh, God! Oh! -Rob! 176 00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:24,403 Oh, wait. 177 00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:26,043 It tastes like juice. 178 00:06:26,083 --> 00:06:28,803 It-- No, it's ju-- It's just juice. 179 00:06:28,843 --> 00:06:30,723 Ahh. 180 00:06:30,763 --> 00:06:31,923 [groans] 181 00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:35,083 Bloody hell! That was a bit dramatic. 182 00:06:35,123 --> 00:06:37,123 Oh, really? 183 00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:40,083 Well, you didn't just have acidic juice shot in your face! 184 00:06:41,523 --> 00:06:43,923 [panting] Fuckin' hell. 185 00:06:43,963 --> 00:06:47,763 ♪♪ 186 00:06:49,683 --> 00:06:51,083 You want to start running with me? 187 00:06:51,123 --> 00:06:52,843 Not really. Why? 188 00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:54,163 Because I've got fatty organs. 189 00:06:54,203 --> 00:06:55,363 And Rob won't run with me anymore 190 00:06:55,403 --> 00:06:57,083 'cause he's scared of London. 191 00:06:57,123 --> 00:06:59,123 I don't want to join a gym because of the mirrors. 192 00:06:59,163 --> 00:07:01,043 -And the people. -Oh, and the smell. 193 00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:02,723 It's like every breath you take 194 00:07:02,763 --> 00:07:06,283 has wiggled its way through 20 pairs of sweaty buttocks. 195 00:07:06,323 --> 00:07:08,643 Do you want to come to Military Fitness in the park with me? 196 00:07:08,683 --> 00:07:11,243 -Yeah, yeah, sure, how do I do that-- -[phone beeping] 197 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:16,323 Fran, I'll call you back, okay? 198 00:07:16,363 --> 00:07:17,923 What's up? Are you all right? 199 00:07:17,963 --> 00:07:19,483 I'm just calling to check that you're okay. 200 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,163 -Have you seen the news? -No. Why? 201 00:07:21,203 --> 00:07:22,523 There was an incident in town. 202 00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:24,363 A guy drove a car into a crowd of people 203 00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,643 in front of the M&M store. 204 00:07:25,683 --> 00:07:27,083 No, that was me. 205 00:07:27,123 --> 00:07:28,923 I wanted some M&Ms and I forgot my purse. 206 00:07:28,963 --> 00:07:31,763 Honey, a guy died. Okay? There was a stampede. 207 00:07:31,803 --> 00:07:33,243 It's very upsetting. 208 00:07:33,283 --> 00:07:34,523 Yeah, I'll tell you what's upsetting 209 00:07:34,563 --> 00:07:36,723 is you thought I was at the M&M store. 210 00:07:36,763 --> 00:07:39,443 All right, well, just stay away from that whole area. 211 00:07:39,483 --> 00:07:41,083 What about Kinder Egg Village. 212 00:07:41,123 --> 00:07:42,963 Can I go there? 213 00:07:43,003 --> 00:07:46,003 ♪♪ 214 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,523 -[fabric ripping] -[gasps] 215 00:08:19,563 --> 00:08:20,723 [grunting] 216 00:08:20,763 --> 00:08:22,363 -Fuck. -[grunting] 217 00:08:27,763 --> 00:08:29,363 [grunting] 218 00:08:34,243 --> 00:08:36,043 [panting] 219 00:08:39,123 --> 00:08:40,523 [grunting] 220 00:08:41,883 --> 00:08:43,283 [panting] 221 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,043 Same time next week? 222 00:08:51,083 --> 00:08:52,323 See you then. 223 00:08:52,363 --> 00:08:53,923 Goodbye, Douglas. 224 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,443 Don't say my name. 225 00:08:59,203 --> 00:09:02,203 ♪♪ 226 00:09:08,683 --> 00:09:11,683 ♪♪ 227 00:09:14,483 --> 00:09:16,483 Welcome to paradise! 228 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:19,003 [laughing] 229 00:09:19,043 --> 00:09:20,323 Wow. 230 00:09:20,363 --> 00:09:22,883 [chuckles] 231 00:09:22,923 --> 00:09:24,803 Through here we have the, uh, kitchen garden. 232 00:09:24,803 --> 00:09:27,003 Every vegetable you could ever need-- 233 00:09:27,043 --> 00:09:28,563 uh, carrots... 234 00:09:28,643 --> 00:09:30,643 baby carrots, purple carrots. 235 00:09:30,683 --> 00:09:31,683 Cool. 236 00:09:31,763 --> 00:09:34,443 And this is what sealed the deal 237 00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:35,803 when we were viewing the place. 238 00:09:35,883 --> 00:09:38,523 -SHARON: A sewer? -No, man. 239 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:41,083 It's a bunker. 240 00:09:45,443 --> 00:09:46,683 You want to get in? 241 00:09:46,683 --> 00:09:48,883 Uh, no. I try never to go in holes. 242 00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:52,243 Caves, holes, tubes. Not really my scene. 243 00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:53,483 Well, you might want to think about it 244 00:09:53,523 --> 00:09:55,083 with the state of the world these days. 245 00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:57,323 I mean, if you have a family, 246 00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:58,923 you really should have a bunker. 247 00:10:00,803 --> 00:10:03,043 -It's something to consider. -[laughs] 248 00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:05,323 We're not getting a bunker. 249 00:10:05,363 --> 00:10:08,083 [baby fussing] 250 00:10:08,123 --> 00:10:10,443 So, do you have Daphne stuck to you all the time? 251 00:10:10,483 --> 00:10:12,443 -Sure. -How do you shower? 252 00:10:12,483 --> 00:10:13,683 Oh, I have a waterproof one. 253 00:10:13,683 --> 00:10:16,123 [laughs] 254 00:10:16,163 --> 00:10:18,163 Dave's a very involved parent. 255 00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:19,483 There's really not much for me to do 256 00:10:19,523 --> 00:10:21,563 outside of flopping out the odd tit. 257 00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:23,923 [chuckles] Hey, it is a pleasure, 258 00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,203 and a privilege. 259 00:10:25,243 --> 00:10:27,323 [chuckles] I love being a dad. 260 00:10:27,363 --> 00:10:29,323 It is the highest high of all, am I right? 261 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,283 I don't know, I mean, I feel like having kids 262 00:10:31,323 --> 00:10:33,683 is like strapping yourself to a Formula One race car. 263 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,483 You know? Boom. Your life is over. 264 00:10:35,523 --> 00:10:37,163 But not in a bad way. 265 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,083 Yeah, you just have to take everything you ever wanted, 266 00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:44,283 and put it in a box because... you never... 267 00:10:44,323 --> 00:10:45,803 But, yeah, it's great. You know. 268 00:10:47,643 --> 00:10:49,643 So, you think this could become, like, a permanent move? 269 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,763 -Oh, yeah. -No. 270 00:10:53,483 --> 00:10:55,923 Well, I-- I don't know, I-- I don't know if I want 271 00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:57,563 Daphne growing up in London. 272 00:10:57,643 --> 00:10:58,883 I mean, you slip on a banana peel there, 273 00:10:58,923 --> 00:11:00,123 go to the emergency room, 274 00:11:00,163 --> 00:11:02,483 takes you six hours to get seen because of 275 00:11:02,523 --> 00:11:03,923 all the knife victims lying around 276 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:05,563 bleeding out all over the floors. 277 00:11:05,603 --> 00:11:07,963 Everyone at this table, including you, 278 00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:09,003 knows that's not true. 279 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,843 I don't know. 280 00:11:10,883 --> 00:11:11,843 I mean, when I was attacked-- 281 00:11:11,883 --> 00:11:13,683 With juice. 282 00:11:13,723 --> 00:11:15,603 With what we now know was juice-- 283 00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:17,283 Well, we figured it out pretty fast. 284 00:11:17,323 --> 00:11:20,203 All right, well, outside I was screaming, 285 00:11:20,243 --> 00:11:21,923 but inside I was just, like, 286 00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:24,283 "all right, now this." You know? 287 00:11:24,323 --> 00:11:27,443 It's like there's this low level feeling of menace there that, 288 00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:28,883 you know, we've all gotten used to, 289 00:11:28,923 --> 00:11:31,083 but that I never really noticed before the attack. 290 00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:32,723 It was juice! 291 00:11:32,763 --> 00:11:35,483 Look, I don't care if my face gets melted, 292 00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:37,443 -you know, I'm married-- -Hang on, I-- 293 00:11:37,483 --> 00:11:40,083 I care if your face gets melted. I have to look at you. 294 00:11:40,123 --> 00:11:41,923 Well, no, all I'm saying is 295 00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:45,523 I care more if our kids faces get melted. You know? 296 00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:47,843 I don't want my kids' faces to get melted. 297 00:11:47,883 --> 00:11:48,923 That's all I'm saying. 298 00:11:51,483 --> 00:11:52,963 Why'd you buy a baby a pony? 299 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,043 ♪♪ 300 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,323 Wha-- 301 00:11:57,363 --> 00:12:01,043 So, Chris and the buxom ingénue 302 00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:02,723 went away for the weekend. 303 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,843 Jeffrey chose to stay with his friend Toby instead of me, 304 00:12:05,883 --> 00:12:07,323 which I find devastating. 305 00:12:07,363 --> 00:12:09,123 -Hm. -So that's something 306 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,563 you've got to look forward to 307 00:12:10,603 --> 00:12:12,003 when your kids get older, 308 00:12:12,043 --> 00:12:13,443 and they throw you out in the rubbish 309 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,163 with the coffee grounds and the fish heads. 310 00:12:15,203 --> 00:12:17,363 He'll come back to you. 311 00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,083 It's probably just a phase, right? 312 00:12:19,123 --> 00:12:20,563 Yeah. Anyway, 313 00:12:20,603 --> 00:12:23,243 got my volunteer work. 314 00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:26,043 Got my loom. 315 00:12:26,083 --> 00:12:27,643 Douglas is keeping me occupied. 316 00:12:27,683 --> 00:12:30,643 Texting me like an eager puppy 317 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,643 since we started our little game. 318 00:12:32,683 --> 00:12:35,443 Puppy with a throbbing human penis. 319 00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:36,483 Oh, Jesus, Fran! 320 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,283 MAN: Good job. Good job. 321 00:12:38,323 --> 00:12:39,963 It's a little bit "Apple Tree Yard," isn't it? 322 00:12:40,003 --> 00:12:43,043 So? [exhales] 323 00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:45,603 The sex is like, mmh! 324 00:12:45,643 --> 00:12:47,763 Everything about him, I mean, physically, is just-- 325 00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:49,763 Even his scrotum's attractive. 326 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,043 How can you say that? 327 00:12:51,083 --> 00:12:53,603 The scrotum's a design flaw. 328 00:12:53,643 --> 00:12:55,563 You ask ten women what the worst thing 329 00:12:55,603 --> 00:12:57,363 they ever saw in their life was, 330 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:59,163 for eight of them, it would be scrotum related. 331 00:12:59,203 --> 00:13:03,483 Well, I like what I like. I don't follow the herd. 332 00:13:03,523 --> 00:13:04,803 MAN: All right, girls, we're not here to talk. 333 00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:06,683 Green 12, squat jumps the length of the cones. 334 00:13:06,723 --> 00:13:08,963 Green seven, you can skip. 335 00:13:10,243 --> 00:13:11,283 [scoffs] 336 00:13:19,283 --> 00:13:21,003 Engage your core while you skip. 337 00:13:21,043 --> 00:13:23,563 -What? -Engage your core. 338 00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:24,683 -Yeah. -Yeah? 339 00:13:24,723 --> 00:13:26,363 Flex it! 340 00:13:26,403 --> 00:13:28,243 -Tighten it! -I am! 341 00:13:28,283 --> 00:13:29,883 [grunts] Fucking hell! 342 00:13:29,923 --> 00:13:31,043 Can you make it harder than that? 343 00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:32,403 -No! -Okay. 344 00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:34,603 Green 12, you can start skipping. 345 00:13:34,643 --> 00:13:36,323 Green seven, burpies. 346 00:13:42,203 --> 00:13:45,763 [grunting, panting] 347 00:13:45,803 --> 00:13:47,643 [camera shutter clicks] 348 00:13:47,683 --> 00:13:49,523 What are you doing? Why are you taking photos? 349 00:13:49,563 --> 00:13:50,683 For our Facebook page. 350 00:13:50,723 --> 00:13:52,443 Well, hang on. Just let me-- 351 00:13:57,323 --> 00:13:58,483 Okay. 352 00:13:59,683 --> 00:14:04,123 ♪♪ 353 00:14:04,163 --> 00:14:05,963 ROB: His face was blurry 354 00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:07,723 'cause he was on a mo-ped, 355 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,363 and, you know, I had juice in my eyes. 356 00:14:09,403 --> 00:14:10,963 -Right. -Yeah. 357 00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,043 And I don't want to sound bigoted, but he was brown. 358 00:14:13,083 --> 00:14:17,243 Um, Mediterranean brown, not like Muslim brown. 359 00:14:17,283 --> 00:14:19,283 Um, I mean, I can't say that he wasn't Muslim, 360 00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:21,923 but I don't care. You know, that's not my angle. 361 00:14:21,963 --> 00:14:24,363 Um, is there a statute of limitations 362 00:14:24,403 --> 00:14:25,923 for a crime like this? 363 00:14:25,963 --> 00:14:28,323 Well, I'm more comfortable calling it a prank. 364 00:14:28,363 --> 00:14:30,563 All right, well, whatever you want to file it under. 365 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,323 Uh, I think I'm gonna file it under juice. 366 00:14:33,363 --> 00:14:35,123 It was juice this time. 367 00:14:35,163 --> 00:14:37,403 I mean, I think it could have been a rehearsal. 368 00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:38,923 Uh, you know, pre-calculated. 369 00:14:38,963 --> 00:14:42,203 I think it might have been a rehearsal for a bigger plan. 370 00:14:42,243 --> 00:14:44,203 You know, they did that for 9/11. 371 00:14:44,243 --> 00:14:45,763 Do you work in security? 372 00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:48,363 No. Pharmaceuticals. 373 00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,723 [slurping] 374 00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:56,163 ♪♪ 375 00:14:56,203 --> 00:14:58,883 [door closes] 376 00:14:58,923 --> 00:14:59,963 Hey. 377 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,643 What are you doing? 378 00:15:03,683 --> 00:15:05,883 I just saw one of those guys from the house next door 379 00:15:05,923 --> 00:15:06,923 that you were worried about. 380 00:15:06,963 --> 00:15:08,163 What guys? 381 00:15:08,203 --> 00:15:09,843 When was I worried about them? 382 00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:11,523 Don't you think there's something up with them? 383 00:15:11,563 --> 00:15:12,883 I mean, who are they? 384 00:15:12,923 --> 00:15:14,803 It's a gang of guys living together. 385 00:15:14,843 --> 00:15:17,003 -They're not gay. -How do you know they're not gay? 386 00:15:17,043 --> 00:15:18,563 I've never seen 'em do one gay thing. 387 00:15:18,603 --> 00:15:19,883 Have you ever seen 'em kiss? 388 00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:21,843 Have they ever seen us kiss? 389 00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:23,083 Okay, here's the thing. 390 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,923 They come and they go. 391 00:15:24,963 --> 00:15:27,123 They have that bright fluorescent light on all the time. 392 00:15:27,163 --> 00:15:29,163 Okay, tell me what it is you think they're doing in there. 393 00:15:29,203 --> 00:15:30,803 I've narrowed it down to two possibilities. 394 00:15:30,843 --> 00:15:33,843 Okay? It's either a weed farm house, 395 00:15:33,883 --> 00:15:35,843 or they're making weapons. 396 00:15:35,883 --> 00:15:38,243 [laughs] Oh, my God! 397 00:15:38,283 --> 00:15:39,683 You need to stop this. 398 00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:41,163 We have to be vigilant. 399 00:15:41,203 --> 00:15:43,763 I reported my attack today to the police, 400 00:15:43,803 --> 00:15:45,523 and they didn't seem to take it seriously at all. 401 00:15:45,563 --> 00:15:47,123 No shit. 402 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:50,043 You know, we should think about something like Dave set up. 403 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,763 I mean, obviously, a bunker's insane, 404 00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:53,763 but maybe a panic room. 405 00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:55,043 And, not-- not a full panic room, 406 00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:56,323 but maybe some Kevlar curtains, 407 00:15:56,363 --> 00:15:58,083 and, uh, you know, sound proofing. 408 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,123 -Oh, my God! -What? 409 00:16:00,163 --> 00:16:03,443 Jesus, that pisses me off! 410 00:16:03,483 --> 00:16:05,443 Look at the state of me. 411 00:16:05,483 --> 00:16:06,483 You look fine. 412 00:16:06,523 --> 00:16:08,483 Oh, great. Great. 413 00:16:08,523 --> 00:16:11,363 Now I can never trust anything you say ever again. 414 00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:13,403 What the f-- 415 00:16:13,443 --> 00:16:15,283 What's a Baba Yaga? 416 00:16:15,323 --> 00:16:17,883 It's like a Russian folklore monster. 417 00:16:17,923 --> 00:16:20,403 It's a thing that lives in the woods and eats kids. 418 00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:22,043 Why are you reading about Baba Yaga? 419 00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:26,123 I'm not, I'm reading a comment under a picture of me. 420 00:16:26,163 --> 00:16:27,843 Why am I purple? 421 00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:30,043 Someone put a purple filter on me. 422 00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:32,203 Oh, come on. 423 00:16:32,243 --> 00:16:35,123 ♪♪ 424 00:16:35,163 --> 00:16:36,603 -[chuckling] -[door closes] 425 00:16:36,643 --> 00:16:39,363 -Hey, buddy, you're back. -Hey, Dad. 426 00:16:39,403 --> 00:16:40,563 Hi, Jeffrey. 427 00:16:40,603 --> 00:16:42,443 Yo. 428 00:16:42,483 --> 00:16:44,363 If you're hungry, there's Haloumi burgers here. 429 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:47,283 No, thanks, I've eaten my Haloumi for the year. 430 00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:48,843 [sighs] 431 00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,203 [clears throat] How was the show? 432 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,443 My friend LeVar saw it tonight, 433 00:16:51,483 --> 00:16:52,963 he said it was terrific. 434 00:16:53,003 --> 00:16:54,723 Really? 435 00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,723 Well, we had to use two understudies, 436 00:16:56,763 --> 00:16:59,123 and one of them improvised the entire second act. 437 00:16:59,163 --> 00:17:00,523 And it tanked. 438 00:17:00,563 --> 00:17:02,563 So who's full of shit, you or LeVar? 439 00:17:02,603 --> 00:17:03,843 Jeffrey. 440 00:17:03,883 --> 00:17:05,203 [scoffs] 441 00:17:05,243 --> 00:17:06,683 I'm going to bed. 442 00:17:17,523 --> 00:17:18,923 [sighs] 443 00:17:18,963 --> 00:17:20,723 That was rude. 444 00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:22,003 Look, I'm sorry things are... 445 00:17:22,043 --> 00:17:23,443 different. 446 00:17:23,483 --> 00:17:25,603 I'm sorry your mom and I split up, 447 00:17:25,683 --> 00:17:27,083 but we were unhappy, 448 00:17:27,123 --> 00:17:28,683 and we didn't want you to be around that. 449 00:17:28,723 --> 00:17:30,363 I was fine. 450 00:17:30,363 --> 00:17:31,683 And you guys might have been miserable, 451 00:17:31,723 --> 00:17:33,483 but at least you were miserable in one place, 452 00:17:33,523 --> 00:17:34,763 our home. 453 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,363 Now you're just miserable in two places. 454 00:17:37,363 --> 00:17:39,443 -I'm not miserable. -Well, you will be, 455 00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:41,483 because there's no way that that is gonna last. 456 00:17:41,523 --> 00:17:44,363 She'll get bored of having an old man boyfriend, 457 00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:45,763 and leave you, and then you'll go running back to mom, 458 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,363 and she won't take you back, 459 00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:51,523 and the next thing you know, you'll be 50, bald, and alone. 460 00:17:51,563 --> 00:17:53,003 I'm gonna be 50 in November. 461 00:17:53,043 --> 00:17:54,763 How am I gonna go bald that fast? 462 00:17:54,803 --> 00:17:56,683 Are you gonna hold me down and shave my head? 463 00:17:56,723 --> 00:17:58,603 I mean, I know you're angry, but I will press charges, 464 00:17:58,683 --> 00:18:00,363 don't you fuckin' think that I won't. 465 00:18:01,723 --> 00:18:03,723 [laughing] 466 00:18:04,603 --> 00:18:05,603 Come here. 467 00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,843 ♪♪ 468 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,283 INSTRUCTOR: Doin' great. Good job. 469 00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:18,803 [panting] 470 00:18:18,843 --> 00:18:20,923 I think, Green 10, if for the rest of the day, 471 00:18:20,963 --> 00:18:22,243 you want to join the beginners? 472 00:18:22,283 --> 00:18:24,603 All right. Got a blue bib. 473 00:18:24,683 --> 00:18:26,323 I'm not a beginner at working out. 474 00:18:26,363 --> 00:18:28,003 I'm gonna stay with my friend. 475 00:18:28,043 --> 00:18:30,363 Okay, but it's not about killing yourself, though. 476 00:18:30,363 --> 00:18:32,603 It's about doing your best, working up a sweat, 477 00:18:32,683 --> 00:18:33,923 having fun. 478 00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:35,363 I'm not here to have fun. 479 00:18:35,363 --> 00:18:37,123 I'm here to get rid of the fat around my organs, 480 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,523 and I'm not joining beginners. Okay? 481 00:18:39,563 --> 00:18:40,763 That's humiliating. 482 00:18:40,803 --> 00:18:42,683 You puked behind the tree earlier. 483 00:18:44,283 --> 00:18:46,283 Let's just see how you get on at a lighter pace. 484 00:18:46,323 --> 00:18:48,203 All right? We don't want you having a heart attack. 485 00:18:48,243 --> 00:18:49,443 [sighs] 486 00:18:52,203 --> 00:18:53,843 Fuck this. 487 00:18:53,843 --> 00:18:55,763 Seriously. 488 00:18:55,803 --> 00:18:59,123 Fuck... this pretend army bullshit! 489 00:18:59,203 --> 00:19:00,843 Let's go, Fran. 490 00:19:00,923 --> 00:19:02,763 I've paid for a block of classes, so I'll be staying. 491 00:19:04,843 --> 00:19:06,083 And you know what? 492 00:19:06,123 --> 00:19:07,723 You can take down those photos 493 00:19:07,763 --> 00:19:09,723 that you put up of me on your website, 494 00:19:09,763 --> 00:19:11,123 because I did not agree to those. 495 00:19:11,123 --> 00:19:12,683 -You posed for 'em. -Yeah. 496 00:19:12,723 --> 00:19:15,723 Because I didn't know you'd be using them to humiliate me. 497 00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:18,923 Did I? Manipulating them, putting joke filters on there. 498 00:19:18,963 --> 00:19:20,523 I didn't put filters on 'em. 499 00:19:20,563 --> 00:19:23,283 Well, somebody put some sort of purple filter on there. 500 00:19:23,323 --> 00:19:25,483 Okay? Like, ha, ha, ha. 501 00:19:25,523 --> 00:19:28,243 Look at this idiot getting ready to have a heart attack. 502 00:19:28,283 --> 00:19:31,283 Look, I know this is tough, okay? 503 00:19:31,323 --> 00:19:33,123 But that's what we're here for. 504 00:19:33,203 --> 00:19:34,723 You can do this. 505 00:19:34,763 --> 00:19:39,043 Six weeks ago, Suzie was in the same shape as you. 506 00:19:39,083 --> 00:19:40,323 Look at her now. 507 00:19:47,683 --> 00:19:48,843 Will you take the photos down? 508 00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:53,203 Will you at least disable comments? 509 00:19:54,923 --> 00:19:57,923 ♪♪ 510 00:20:15,043 --> 00:20:16,603 SHARON: Called my mum yesterday. 511 00:20:16,603 --> 00:20:19,763 She told me two of my aunties died of heart disease. 512 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:21,363 Well, you're Irish, so what do you have, 513 00:20:21,363 --> 00:20:22,803 like, 85 aunts? 514 00:20:22,843 --> 00:20:24,323 If only two of 'em died of heart disease, 515 00:20:24,363 --> 00:20:25,363 that's pretty good. 516 00:20:25,363 --> 00:20:26,563 Yeah, but what about my dad? 517 00:20:26,603 --> 00:20:27,683 He died young. 518 00:20:27,723 --> 00:20:29,323 Well, honey, he-- he was 70. 519 00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:32,323 That is-- 70, that's nothing these days. 520 00:20:32,363 --> 00:20:34,443 It's like dying in your 40s. 521 00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,963 My parents had me in their 30s. 522 00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:37,843 I had my dad all my adult life. 523 00:20:37,843 --> 00:20:40,603 He knew his grandkids. Sort of. 524 00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:43,923 If I die in my 70s, my kids will barely be 30. 525 00:20:43,963 --> 00:20:45,363 They won't have had kids. 526 00:20:45,363 --> 00:20:47,443 No way, not millennials. 527 00:20:47,483 --> 00:20:49,003 They don't give a shit about anyone. 528 00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:51,043 Well, you can't think like that. 529 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:55,003 I mean, maybe Frankie will get a girl pregnant when he's 17. 530 00:20:55,043 --> 00:20:57,483 -Well, that would be terrible. -Would it? 531 00:20:57,523 --> 00:21:00,443 I mean, you'd get to know your grandkids longer, so... 532 00:21:00,483 --> 00:21:01,723 [chuckles] I'm just sayin' 533 00:21:01,763 --> 00:21:03,323 nobody knows what's gonna happen. 534 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:05,323 I just want to live a decent while. 535 00:21:05,363 --> 00:21:06,803 That's all. 536 00:21:06,843 --> 00:21:09,323 I don't want my heart to pack in. 537 00:21:09,363 --> 00:21:11,283 Your heart's not gonna pack in. 538 00:21:11,323 --> 00:21:13,603 And if it does, I'll defibrillate you. 539 00:21:13,603 --> 00:21:16,363 That's not even a big deal these days. 540 00:21:16,363 --> 00:21:18,123 Promise? 541 00:21:18,123 --> 00:21:19,563 [chuckles] 542 00:21:21,683 --> 00:21:23,323 Okay. 543 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:25,123 [sighs] 544 00:21:25,123 --> 00:21:27,923 Oh, shit! Fuck! I forgot. 545 00:21:27,963 --> 00:21:29,363 Got you something. 546 00:21:33,803 --> 00:21:35,683 -Aww... -I miss the neck brace. 547 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,243 Do you like it? Try it on. 548 00:21:43,043 --> 00:21:45,003 [laughs] Take it off. 549 00:21:45,043 --> 00:21:47,603 [laughs] Seriously, you look like a fisherman simpleton. 550 00:21:47,683 --> 00:21:49,923 Oh, oh. [laughs] 551 00:21:49,963 --> 00:21:51,603 I look like I'm gonna try and sell you 552 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:54,043 a homemade moon-cup out of the back of my Subaru. 553 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:55,283 [laughing] 554 00:21:55,323 --> 00:21:57,283 You look like a-- [laughs] 555 00:21:57,323 --> 00:21:59,203 You look like a college poetry teacher 556 00:21:59,243 --> 00:22:01,283 who tells girls he invented the "Me Too" hashtag. 557 00:22:01,323 --> 00:22:03,483 [laughing] 558 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:04,883 I look like, um, 559 00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:06,483 one of those Dutch guys, you know? 560 00:22:06,523 --> 00:22:07,803 -[laughing] -Who? 561 00:22:07,843 --> 00:22:09,123 Who ride the thing? 562 00:22:09,163 --> 00:22:10,323 -No, which-- -You know, they-- 563 00:22:10,363 --> 00:22:11,603 -[chuckles] -No. 564 00:22:11,643 --> 00:22:13,003 Well, I can't think of the, um-- 565 00:22:13,043 --> 00:22:15,603 [chuckles] Anyway, it doesn't matter. 566 00:22:15,643 --> 00:22:16,643 [chuckles] 567 00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:19,683 ♪♪ 568 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:23,923 [farting] 569 00:22:27,243 --> 00:22:28,523 -That's the guy. -What? 570 00:22:28,563 --> 00:22:29,603 That's the guy who attacked me. 571 00:22:29,643 --> 00:22:31,363 -What are you doing? -Hey! 572 00:22:31,403 --> 00:22:33,923 -Rob-- -Hey, asshole who squirted juice in my face. 573 00:22:33,963 --> 00:22:35,363 Who are you callin' asshole? 574 00:22:35,403 --> 00:22:36,683 I'm callin' an asshole an asshole. 575 00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:39,603 -Whoa! -You can't touch me. 576 00:22:39,643 --> 00:22:42,763 -I'm 13. -Wha-- Really? 577 00:22:42,803 --> 00:22:44,803 Well, you're pretty tall for 13. 578 00:22:44,843 --> 00:22:46,683 Maybe you should have thought about that 579 00:22:46,723 --> 00:22:48,203 before you did your acidic juice attack. 580 00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:49,923 What are you doing? 581 00:22:49,963 --> 00:22:52,483 You're still on probation. Plus, they're children. 582 00:22:52,523 --> 00:22:54,163 I realize that now. 583 00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:55,403 I'm just gonna scare 'em. 584 00:22:55,443 --> 00:22:57,283 Wait-- Oh, fuck. 585 00:22:57,323 --> 00:22:59,563 You know, I don't know where the heck you get off-- 586 00:22:59,603 --> 00:23:01,443 Uh-- Oh! Oh! 587 00:23:01,483 --> 00:23:03,203 -[laughing] -ROB: Oh, yeah. 588 00:23:03,243 --> 00:23:05,883 Yeah, good one. All right, well, guess what? 589 00:23:05,923 --> 00:23:08,923 I'm not scared this time, because I know that it's-- 590 00:23:08,963 --> 00:23:10,443 What is that, pineapple juice? 591 00:23:10,483 --> 00:23:12,803 [chuckles] What are you, a baby? 592 00:23:12,843 --> 00:23:14,403 Why don't you drink an adult juice? 593 00:23:14,443 --> 00:23:17,763 [laughing] Whatever, man, 594 00:23:17,803 --> 00:23:19,043 Let's go. 595 00:23:24,763 --> 00:23:26,203 Did you scare them? 596 00:23:26,243 --> 00:23:27,443 They'll remember me. 597 00:23:29,043 --> 00:23:32,043 ♪♪