1 00:00:16,563 --> 00:00:18,283 [knocking] 2 00:00:18,323 --> 00:00:19,963 Just gonna be a second. 3 00:00:20,003 --> 00:00:21,203 [knocking] 4 00:00:21,243 --> 00:00:23,483 [sighs] 5 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,243 Come on, Sharon's gonna be back in half an hour, 6 00:00:25,243 --> 00:00:26,363 and I need to piss. 7 00:00:26,403 --> 00:00:29,403 ♪♪ 8 00:00:34,603 --> 00:00:37,043 [laughs] 9 00:00:37,083 --> 00:00:38,763 I can't get up. [laughs] 10 00:00:38,803 --> 00:00:39,803 Did you wipe your ass? 11 00:00:41,603 --> 00:00:43,603 [sobbing] 12 00:00:44,803 --> 00:00:47,803 Why? [sobbing] 13 00:00:48,443 --> 00:00:49,843 [sneezes] 14 00:00:51,763 --> 00:00:54,243 [sobbing] 15 00:00:54,283 --> 00:00:55,283 [groans] 16 00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,123 [panting] 17 00:00:57,163 --> 00:00:58,603 Oh... 18 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:00,003 Oh... 19 00:01:00,043 --> 00:01:01,363 Why are you doing that noise? 20 00:01:01,403 --> 00:01:04,843 Oh, thank Jesus Christ. 21 00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:07,243 Oh, I dreamt I was drunk, 22 00:01:07,283 --> 00:01:09,683 and I couldn't get off the toilet. 23 00:01:09,723 --> 00:01:12,123 [groans] You sure that was a dream? 24 00:01:12,163 --> 00:01:13,323 Sounds more like a memory. 25 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,203 [sighs] What time is it? 26 00:01:19,043 --> 00:01:22,723 It's 3:15. You should go back to sleep. 27 00:01:22,763 --> 00:01:25,683 Fergal gets in at some stupid hour. 28 00:01:25,723 --> 00:01:27,763 Jesus. 29 00:01:27,803 --> 00:01:29,563 What? 30 00:01:29,603 --> 00:01:32,363 I just don't know if I can deal with him right now. 31 00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:35,043 Why are you having to plan his birthday party? 32 00:01:35,083 --> 00:01:38,763 Plus, adults shouldn't have birthday parties. 33 00:01:38,803 --> 00:01:42,043 You sound like a super villain. 34 00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:43,323 Goodnight. 35 00:01:46,283 --> 00:01:48,163 Can I play with your tits a little bit? 36 00:01:48,203 --> 00:01:50,483 Do you mind if I go back to sleep? 37 00:01:50,523 --> 00:01:52,763 -No. -Then go nuts. 38 00:01:52,803 --> 00:01:54,723 ♪♪ 39 00:01:57,763 --> 00:02:01,603 ♪♪ 40 00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:02,803 What you think? 41 00:02:02,843 --> 00:02:05,043 Well, my concern with Maroon Thrive 42 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,603 is that their set list includes both Shaggy and Enya, 43 00:02:07,643 --> 00:02:09,603 which is impressive, but it's like, where's your passion? 44 00:02:09,643 --> 00:02:11,123 It was grand for a bar mitzvah, 45 00:02:11,163 --> 00:02:12,843 but for a milestone birthday? 46 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,403 I say we keep looking. 47 00:02:14,443 --> 00:02:15,643 I'm not asking what you think of them, Fergal, 48 00:02:15,643 --> 00:02:17,403 I'm showing you who I booked. 49 00:02:17,443 --> 00:02:19,363 -They're not that bad, are they? -Oh, they suck. 50 00:02:19,403 --> 00:02:20,923 I think they'd be perfect for your party. 51 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,603 Maybe you can get Mallandra to play her castanets 52 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,923 along with them. 53 00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:25,163 You know, jazz 'em up a little bit. 54 00:02:25,203 --> 00:02:26,723 -[laughs] -Mallandra's not coming. 55 00:02:26,763 --> 00:02:28,603 -Yeah, why isn't she? -She didn't want to. 56 00:02:28,643 --> 00:02:30,843 They threw a little ham party for me in Spain anyway. 57 00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:32,563 By the way, no ham at this party. 58 00:02:32,603 --> 00:02:34,003 Oh, no, I thought we could get pizzas delivered at, 59 00:02:34,043 --> 00:02:35,603 what do you think, like 9 p.m.? 60 00:02:35,643 --> 00:02:37,603 Yeah, well, it depends what time we cut the cake, right? 61 00:02:37,643 --> 00:02:40,403 You know what, I would cut it after musical chairs, 62 00:02:40,443 --> 00:02:42,123 but before the piñata. 63 00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:43,603 Just because you're unhappy with you life 64 00:02:43,643 --> 00:02:46,203 doesn't mean I can't celebrate mine. 65 00:02:46,203 --> 00:02:47,923 What did Captain Piss Parade do for his 40th? 66 00:02:48,003 --> 00:02:49,883 Oh, I can't remember what we-- 67 00:02:49,923 --> 00:02:52,043 Oh, yeah. Weren't you in Toronto for your 40th? 68 00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:54,883 No, I wasn't. I was supposed to be, 69 00:02:54,923 --> 00:02:57,283 but I changed the trip to be here for my birthday. 70 00:02:57,323 --> 00:02:59,763 But it is funny how through the mist of time 71 00:02:59,803 --> 00:03:03,003 you've latched on to the Toronto myth to absolve yourself. 72 00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:04,203 It was probably so last minute, 73 00:03:04,243 --> 00:03:06,043 we didn't have time to organize anything. 74 00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:08,003 I didn't need to go to the Ritz. I mean, we could have gone anywhere. 75 00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:09,643 We could have gone to fuckin' Five Guys. 76 00:03:09,683 --> 00:03:11,803 I love Five Guys. Let's get Five Guys instead. 77 00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,403 Unbelievable. 78 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,723 Also, we need to get some balloons. 79 00:03:14,763 --> 00:03:16,963 -Maybe black balloons? -Black balloons. 80 00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:18,723 I'm not turning seven. You know the sort of thing. 81 00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,043 Masculine balloons. 82 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,443 [scoffs] Fine. Who else are we asking? 83 00:03:22,483 --> 00:03:24,203 Oh, do you know Mum's coming over for your birthday. 84 00:03:24,243 --> 00:03:26,523 -Yeah, sure she is. -What do you mean? 85 00:03:26,563 --> 00:03:28,323 She's coming over to see her new man. 86 00:03:28,363 --> 00:03:29,843 [laughs] 87 00:03:29,883 --> 00:03:31,563 What the fuck? 88 00:03:31,603 --> 00:03:33,723 ROB: And, you know, it's not even Fergal's fault. 89 00:03:33,763 --> 00:03:36,803 It's the fact that Sharon not only tolerates him, 90 00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:39,043 but enjoys him that drives me insane. 91 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,483 Yeah, you said that at the meeting. 92 00:03:40,523 --> 00:03:41,883 And, you know, I realize this is 93 00:03:41,923 --> 00:03:43,203 the kind of time when I would have drank, 94 00:03:43,243 --> 00:03:45,123 but I'm not gonna give 'em that power. 95 00:03:45,163 --> 00:03:47,763 You know, that'd be like giving a weasel a machine gun, 96 00:03:47,803 --> 00:03:49,163 which I would never do. 97 00:03:49,203 --> 00:03:50,843 -[snickers] -What's funny? 98 00:03:50,883 --> 00:03:52,923 Uh, no, it's just your biggest problem right now 99 00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:55,203 is some asshole who lives in Spain. 100 00:03:55,243 --> 00:03:57,003 I wish I could worry about stuff that small. 101 00:03:57,043 --> 00:03:59,163 Oh, what would you like me to get upset about? 102 00:03:59,203 --> 00:04:00,683 Well, take your pick. 103 00:04:00,723 --> 00:04:03,523 I mean, there is some bad shit coming down the line. 104 00:04:03,563 --> 00:04:05,403 I mean, we are not far away from 105 00:04:05,443 --> 00:04:08,443 total societal collapse, my friend. 106 00:04:08,483 --> 00:04:10,003 Do you know that London's water supply 107 00:04:10,043 --> 00:04:13,003 could be compromised like that? 108 00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:16,123 Man, you need to get off your basement computers. 109 00:04:16,163 --> 00:04:17,523 This isn't paranoia. 110 00:04:17,563 --> 00:04:19,363 I mean, there are two points of entry, 111 00:04:19,403 --> 00:04:20,963 Croydon and Hampstead. 112 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,483 You hit both of those at the same time, 113 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:25,603 you can expect 4 million casualties in under an hour. 114 00:04:25,643 --> 00:04:27,043 -4 mil-- -Mm-hm. 115 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,403 Aren't there, like, 10 million people in London? 116 00:04:28,483 --> 00:04:30,123 I mean, that's not that bad. 117 00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:33,523 Anyway, I picked up our New Zealand passports this morning, 118 00:04:33,563 --> 00:04:34,923 so we got a game plan. 119 00:04:34,963 --> 00:04:36,963 What? How'd you get those? 120 00:04:36,963 --> 00:04:38,643 Dark web. 121 00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:39,923 I mean, it started out 122 00:04:39,963 --> 00:04:41,403 I just wanted to see if I could. 123 00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:43,603 I-- I mean, they're not 100 percent legal, 124 00:04:43,643 --> 00:04:44,963 like in a court or whatever, 125 00:04:44,963 --> 00:04:47,203 but for fathers who care about their families, 126 00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:49,403 New Zealand really is the only way to go. 127 00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:53,043 Want me to look into it for you? 128 00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:56,083 ♪♪ 129 00:04:56,123 --> 00:04:57,603 CAROL: The flight was lovely. 130 00:04:57,643 --> 00:05:00,123 And Stephen was waiting for me in arrivals 131 00:05:00,163 --> 00:05:01,563 with a homemade panini. 132 00:05:01,603 --> 00:05:02,763 [Stephen laughs] 133 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:05,163 I-- I have a panini press. 134 00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:06,403 Oh... [chuckles] 135 00:05:06,403 --> 00:05:07,683 Who are you? 136 00:05:07,723 --> 00:05:09,963 I mean, h--, um, how'd you meet? 137 00:05:09,963 --> 00:05:14,283 Well, Stephen was on a shoot in Mullingar. 138 00:05:14,283 --> 00:05:16,763 Stephen's a model, if that's not obvious. 139 00:05:16,803 --> 00:05:19,403 -You're a model? -Well, technically. 140 00:05:19,483 --> 00:05:21,963 It's all very new. I was an accountant for 40 years. 141 00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:25,483 Stephen was scouted in Gatwick Airport 142 00:05:25,523 --> 00:05:27,043 on his way back from Ayia Napa. 143 00:05:27,083 --> 00:05:29,243 [chuckles] Wow. 144 00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:31,803 That's-- I didn't know that-- that people even-- 145 00:05:31,843 --> 00:05:34,683 I just thought young models grew into old models. 146 00:05:34,723 --> 00:05:37,443 You know, after a while you stop doing swimsuit stuff, 147 00:05:37,483 --> 00:05:40,243 and you start advertising hot water bottles. 148 00:05:40,283 --> 00:05:41,523 [laughs] 149 00:05:41,563 --> 00:05:44,643 No, I, uh-- I do swimsuit work. 150 00:05:44,683 --> 00:05:45,883 Rob was nearly a model once. 151 00:05:45,923 --> 00:05:47,323 -Well, I wasn't, um-- -He was. 152 00:05:47,363 --> 00:05:49,043 I had some people say that I-- 153 00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:50,963 Uh, does anyone want a drink? 154 00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:52,283 -Yeah. -No. 155 00:05:52,323 --> 00:05:53,963 -[door closes] -FERGAL: Hello! 156 00:05:54,003 --> 00:05:55,963 Oh, it's Fergal. 157 00:05:56,003 --> 00:05:57,203 Hello, son. 158 00:05:58,723 --> 00:06:00,883 This is Stephen. 159 00:06:00,923 --> 00:06:02,883 Stephen, this is my son Fergal. 160 00:06:02,923 --> 00:06:05,443 -Hi. -Come here, you. 161 00:06:06,203 --> 00:06:09,123 ♪♪ 162 00:06:10,763 --> 00:06:12,883 SHARON: Did you see the way she laughed at his jokes? 163 00:06:12,923 --> 00:06:14,603 It was obscene. 164 00:06:14,643 --> 00:06:16,523 Who uses their tongue to laugh? 165 00:06:16,563 --> 00:06:18,323 What was that? 166 00:06:18,363 --> 00:06:19,723 Do you think they're having sex? 167 00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:21,083 I don't know. Maybe. 168 00:06:21,123 --> 00:06:22,763 She still has her original hips, right? 169 00:06:22,803 --> 00:06:24,483 Oh, God. 170 00:06:24,523 --> 00:06:26,963 I don't know how I feel about that. 171 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:29,123 I mean, we barely have sex anymore, and that's fine, 172 00:06:29,163 --> 00:06:32,123 but... now my mum's gonna be doing it more than me. 173 00:06:32,163 --> 00:06:33,923 Maybe this is a wake up call. 174 00:06:33,963 --> 00:06:35,443 Should we start making more of an effort? 175 00:06:35,483 --> 00:06:37,203 I don't know. 176 00:06:37,243 --> 00:06:41,043 I mean, here's how I feel about sex with you these days. 177 00:06:41,083 --> 00:06:43,523 On paper, it sounds amazing. 178 00:06:43,563 --> 00:06:45,803 But if you were to initiate it, like tonight, 179 00:06:45,843 --> 00:06:48,203 -I'd just be angry. -[sighs] 180 00:06:48,243 --> 00:06:50,563 But I still have a fond feeling when I look at you. 181 00:06:50,603 --> 00:06:52,923 Maybe that's enough. 182 00:06:52,963 --> 00:06:54,563 Goddamn it, it is enough. 183 00:06:54,603 --> 00:06:57,603 ♪♪ 184 00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:03,283 [laughing] 185 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:06,883 Your mum's boyfriend is a fuckin' ride. 186 00:07:06,923 --> 00:07:08,923 -Good for her. -No, not good for her. 187 00:07:08,963 --> 00:07:11,403 My dad died six months ago. That's nothing. 188 00:07:11,443 --> 00:07:13,803 There's stuff in my fridge that's more than six months old. 189 00:07:13,843 --> 00:07:15,363 How's it goin', Rob? Do you want a drink? 190 00:07:15,403 --> 00:07:17,723 Uh, no, thanks, uh, I have alcoholism. 191 00:07:17,763 --> 00:07:19,643 Even on your brother-in-law's birthday? 192 00:07:19,683 --> 00:07:21,083 Yeah, even then. 193 00:07:21,123 --> 00:07:23,643 That's why AA would never work for me. 194 00:07:23,683 --> 00:07:25,563 It's, like, be reasonable. 195 00:07:25,603 --> 00:07:26,763 SHARON: I told Anna to get here by 7:30. 196 00:07:26,803 --> 00:07:28,163 Is that okay? 197 00:07:28,203 --> 00:07:29,683 I thought you and me could get there early, 198 00:07:29,723 --> 00:07:31,243 blow up the balloons. 199 00:07:31,283 --> 00:07:32,923 I can help with balloons. 200 00:07:32,963 --> 00:07:34,203 In college I taught myself 201 00:07:34,243 --> 00:07:35,963 how to tie them off with my tongue. 202 00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:38,323 Also, I have no gag reflex. 203 00:07:38,363 --> 00:07:40,403 That's unrelated. 204 00:07:40,443 --> 00:07:42,363 Are you all right, Ciaran? 205 00:07:42,403 --> 00:07:44,803 Are we meeting the other St. Joseph lads in the pub? 206 00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:46,203 No, no, I think it's just me. 207 00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:48,323 Yeah, a lot of those lads don't like Fergal, 208 00:07:48,363 --> 00:07:50,243 so I didn't really know why he invited them. 209 00:07:50,283 --> 00:07:51,923 Why don't they like him? 210 00:07:51,963 --> 00:07:54,923 Oh, some fuckin' time share bollocks in Montenegro 211 00:07:54,963 --> 00:07:56,443 that he roped them into that went tits up 212 00:07:56,483 --> 00:07:57,923 the second their checks cleared. 213 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,363 You look lovely, Fergal. 214 00:08:08,043 --> 00:08:09,683 Do you have eyeliner on? 215 00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,283 [scoffs] No. 216 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,123 Just a bit of lip gloss. 217 00:08:14,163 --> 00:08:17,843 ♪♪ 218 00:08:17,883 --> 00:08:19,483 [indistinct chatter] 219 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:22,283 [door opens] 220 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,723 Honey, um, I have sad news. 221 00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,643 I have diarrhea, and it's pretty bad, 222 00:08:28,683 --> 00:08:30,483 so I don't think I can make the party. 223 00:08:30,523 --> 00:08:31,523 Sorry. 224 00:08:31,563 --> 00:08:33,563 Bullshit. You have diarrhea. 225 00:08:33,603 --> 00:08:34,843 I know when you have diarrhea. 226 00:08:34,883 --> 00:08:36,043 The house smells like a poultry farm, 227 00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,643 and you're covered in sweat. 228 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,443 Okay. I don't want to come to Fergal's party. 229 00:08:40,483 --> 00:08:42,283 What? You have to come. 230 00:08:42,323 --> 00:08:43,563 I don't have to come. Look, just tell him 231 00:08:43,563 --> 00:08:45,683 I have diarrhea, and it hurts, 232 00:08:45,683 --> 00:08:47,443 and he won't care anyway. 233 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:50,123 Yeah, he might not care, but I'd really like you to be there. 234 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,483 Come on, it'll be fun. 235 00:08:51,523 --> 00:08:53,243 Honey, look, my idea of fun 236 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,563 isn't pushing Fergal home in a wheelbarrow 237 00:08:55,563 --> 00:08:56,883 'cause you're too drunk to do it. 238 00:08:56,923 --> 00:08:59,323 Okay, the Pope. Well, you know what? 239 00:08:59,363 --> 00:09:01,323 The wheelbarrow thing sounds like brilliant fun, 240 00:09:01,363 --> 00:09:03,803 actually, so maybe we've got a bigger problem here. 241 00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:05,643 But it's good to know that this is my future 242 00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:07,443 as the wife of a dry drunk. 243 00:09:07,483 --> 00:09:09,443 Used to be you'd just stand in the corner scowling at parties. 244 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,123 Now you won't be there at all. 245 00:09:11,163 --> 00:09:13,203 Yeah, well, I hope you have some hand cream in your bag 246 00:09:13,243 --> 00:09:16,483 -in case you get to jerk off any-- -[door slams] 247 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:19,643 You know, that's just a funny joke that we have. 248 00:09:19,683 --> 00:09:24,243 Um, so listen, uh, looks like we won't need you tonight, Anna, 249 00:09:24,283 --> 00:09:25,803 so I'm sorry. 250 00:09:25,803 --> 00:09:27,403 What? Sorry if I cancelled plans 251 00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:28,803 and that I was gonna use this money 252 00:09:28,803 --> 00:09:30,563 to buy my nephew Rocky a birthday present? 253 00:09:30,643 --> 00:09:35,003 So what I'll do is I'll just go read upstairs, 254 00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:37,443 and, um, it's great that you're here. 255 00:09:39,683 --> 00:09:42,683 ♪♪ 256 00:09:42,763 --> 00:09:44,803 ♪♪ [volcalizing] 257 00:09:44,803 --> 00:09:45,883 Everybody! 258 00:09:45,923 --> 00:09:48,923 ♪♪ [vocalizing] 259 00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:55,403 Hey. 260 00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:57,323 -You havin' fun? -No. 261 00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,083 Maybe it wouldn't feel so pathetic 262 00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:01,923 if you hadn't booked an actual barn for my party. 263 00:10:02,003 --> 00:10:03,563 Was the O2 Arena not available? 264 00:10:03,643 --> 00:10:05,283 I'm sorry, I expected more people. 265 00:10:05,323 --> 00:10:08,043 Oh, right, so it's my fault. 266 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:09,923 [sighs] This is not an honest representation 267 00:10:09,923 --> 00:10:11,083 of me as a people person. 268 00:10:11,123 --> 00:10:12,883 Do you want to dance, Ciaran? 269 00:10:12,923 --> 00:10:14,243 Sure. 270 00:10:14,283 --> 00:10:16,683 Yeah, let me drink... three more beers? 271 00:10:16,763 --> 00:10:19,483 You're on. 272 00:10:19,523 --> 00:10:22,483 This is considerably more depressing than your father's funeral. 273 00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:24,403 Oh... 274 00:10:24,443 --> 00:10:27,443 ♪♪ 275 00:10:33,683 --> 00:10:35,563 WOMAN [on TV]: Bakers now face an agonizing wait for the sugar. 276 00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:37,203 What? 277 00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:39,363 They don't have nearly enough time to do spung sugar. 278 00:10:39,403 --> 00:10:41,563 What, do they think they're Rumplestiltskins? 279 00:10:42,803 --> 00:10:44,923 Why don't you go to the party? 280 00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:46,283 I don't like my brother-in-law. 281 00:10:46,323 --> 00:10:49,043 -Do you like Sharon? -Yes, I like Sharon. 282 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,643 Just not enough to go to the party. 283 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,683 -How does that work then? -What do you mean? 284 00:10:52,683 --> 00:10:54,803 Well, you don't like fun. Sharon does. 285 00:10:54,803 --> 00:10:57,563 [scoffs] Don't like fun. 286 00:10:57,643 --> 00:10:59,883 Ask Ricky Pratt if I like fun. 287 00:10:59,923 --> 00:11:01,323 We went to karate camp together, 288 00:11:01,363 --> 00:11:04,163 [laughs] and, yeah, we were animals. 289 00:11:04,203 --> 00:11:06,683 -So it's-- -[cell phone chimes] 290 00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,483 [sighs] 291 00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:17,083 [sighs] 292 00:11:17,123 --> 00:11:18,563 I won't be late. 293 00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:25,283 ♪♪ 294 00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:27,643 [sighs] Christ. 295 00:11:32,723 --> 00:11:35,723 ♪♪ 296 00:11:43,443 --> 00:11:46,243 ♪ We move like cagey tigers ♪ 297 00:11:46,283 --> 00:11:49,043 ♪ We couldn't get closer than this ♪ 298 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,683 ♪ The way we walk, the way we talk ♪ 299 00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:53,203 ♪ The way we stalk, the way we kiss ♪ 300 00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:54,483 How are you? You okay? 301 00:11:54,523 --> 00:11:56,723 Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I mean... 302 00:11:56,763 --> 00:11:59,203 I'm lonely in my own home, but apart from that, 303 00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:01,363 everything's great. 304 00:12:01,403 --> 00:12:03,083 Chris looks happy. 305 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,483 Everybody looks happy. 306 00:12:06,323 --> 00:12:07,563 You don't. 307 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:10,083 Fran, you want another gin? 308 00:12:10,123 --> 00:12:12,363 Can I get-- Oh, no, you look like you've had enough. 309 00:12:12,403 --> 00:12:14,043 Uh, hello? 310 00:12:14,083 --> 00:12:15,883 So, Douglas, how did you get into 311 00:12:15,923 --> 00:12:18,123 the whole plastic surgery game? 312 00:12:18,163 --> 00:12:20,643 Did you go to med school to become a real doctor 313 00:12:20,683 --> 00:12:21,883 and then think, you know what, 314 00:12:21,923 --> 00:12:23,523 any asshole can save a life. 315 00:12:23,563 --> 00:12:26,483 What I'd like to do is give women weird hard tits 316 00:12:26,523 --> 00:12:27,843 that start at their collar bones. 317 00:12:27,883 --> 00:12:29,483 It's not all tits. 318 00:12:29,523 --> 00:12:32,083 Last week I reconstructed an eight-year-old's face 319 00:12:32,123 --> 00:12:33,843 who'd been attacked by her neighbor's dog. 320 00:12:35,523 --> 00:12:37,723 Oh, well, that-- I mean, that's different, that-- 321 00:12:37,763 --> 00:12:40,563 But I also did an eye lift yesterday 322 00:12:40,603 --> 00:12:42,883 for a woman who had a similar issue to yours. 323 00:12:42,923 --> 00:12:45,123 I'm not currently taking new patients, 324 00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:47,003 but I'd be happy to give you a referral. 325 00:12:48,923 --> 00:12:50,603 I don't have an issue. 326 00:12:52,443 --> 00:12:53,843 Do I? 327 00:12:53,883 --> 00:12:57,403 -Where's Mark and Shane? -Oh, they fucked off. 328 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,483 -Why? -I think they went bowling. 329 00:12:59,523 --> 00:13:01,843 Oh, for fuck's sake! 330 00:13:01,883 --> 00:13:03,283 Hey, let's get some of that new drug. 331 00:13:03,323 --> 00:13:04,643 You know, the one that anesthetists use. 332 00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:06,323 The one that killed those people in Glasgow? 333 00:13:06,363 --> 00:13:08,683 -Yeah, that one. -Okay, I'll call my cousin. 334 00:13:11,803 --> 00:13:12,923 What? 335 00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:15,083 Well, can you still get hard on those? 336 00:13:15,123 --> 00:13:17,203 [horns honk] 337 00:13:17,243 --> 00:13:18,843 [bell dings] 338 00:13:21,323 --> 00:13:24,323 Ma'am. Could you open the doors? 339 00:13:24,363 --> 00:13:26,243 The stop's just there. 340 00:13:28,323 --> 00:13:29,923 We're an inch from the stop. 341 00:13:29,963 --> 00:13:32,043 You couldn't even use feet to measure it. 342 00:13:33,763 --> 00:13:35,643 [horn honks] 343 00:13:35,683 --> 00:13:38,763 DRIVER: Sir. Leave the doors alone, please. 344 00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:39,803 Thank you. 345 00:13:51,763 --> 00:13:54,163 ♪ Picture this, we were both butt-naked ♪ 346 00:13:54,203 --> 00:13:56,123 ♪ Bangin' on the bathroom floor ♪ 347 00:13:56,163 --> 00:13:59,163 ♪ I had tried to keep her from ♪ 348 00:13:59,203 --> 00:14:01,163 ♪ What she was about to see ♪ 349 00:14:01,203 --> 00:14:03,123 ♪ Why should she believe... ♪ 350 00:14:03,163 --> 00:14:05,043 Check out the artist formerly known as Douglas. 351 00:14:05,083 --> 00:14:06,723 [laughs] 352 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,283 I didn't know you two were back together. 353 00:14:08,323 --> 00:14:10,483 Oh, uh-- I'm only seeing him 354 00:14:10,523 --> 00:14:11,963 because, uh... 355 00:14:13,723 --> 00:14:14,963 Doesn't matter. 356 00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:17,403 No, what were you gonna say? 357 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,843 I messed up everything, didn't I? 358 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,363 I screwed everything up. 359 00:14:25,403 --> 00:14:27,403 Sorry. 360 00:14:27,443 --> 00:14:28,803 I've had a couple of drinks. 361 00:14:28,843 --> 00:14:30,683 No, no, it's good because I wanted-- 362 00:14:30,723 --> 00:14:31,683 Can you ask him to come back? 363 00:14:31,723 --> 00:14:33,963 -What? -Jeffrey. 364 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:37,763 Can you tell him I'm sorry and ask him to come back? 365 00:14:37,803 --> 00:14:39,483 -Fran-- -You've got that... 366 00:14:39,523 --> 00:14:42,243 lovely girl, and I've got-- 367 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,403 [drumming] 368 00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:47,083 Nothing. 369 00:14:50,163 --> 00:14:52,683 ♪ Creeping with the girl next door ♪ 370 00:14:52,723 --> 00:14:54,483 Going out with a male model. 371 00:14:54,523 --> 00:14:56,323 Our mother. 372 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:58,203 It's not even funny. 373 00:14:58,243 --> 00:15:00,403 It's better than going out with a DJ. 374 00:15:00,443 --> 00:15:01,723 Como te llamo? 375 00:15:01,763 --> 00:15:03,003 Sofia. 376 00:15:03,043 --> 00:15:04,603 Should have known. 377 00:15:04,643 --> 00:15:06,683 Sofia con cabello azul. 378 00:15:06,723 --> 00:15:09,723 [chuckles] 379 00:15:09,763 --> 00:15:11,043 What if she's up for it? 380 00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,563 What are you gonna do then, you clown? 381 00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:14,243 Don't know. [clicks tongue] 382 00:15:15,963 --> 00:15:18,483 Couldn't get any Fentanyl, so I got this. 383 00:15:18,523 --> 00:15:20,123 What are they? 384 00:15:20,163 --> 00:15:22,003 They're blue. 385 00:15:22,043 --> 00:15:23,003 -Sweet. -Huh. 386 00:15:23,043 --> 00:15:24,643 Yeah? Come on. 387 00:15:24,683 --> 00:15:27,163 -Take us. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 388 00:15:27,203 --> 00:15:28,563 -Oh! -Wha-- 389 00:15:28,603 --> 00:15:31,603 ♪♪ 390 00:15:40,443 --> 00:15:41,643 [grunts] 391 00:15:45,963 --> 00:15:47,363 -[groans] -[bell dings] 392 00:15:56,763 --> 00:16:00,123 ♪ Something's comin' over me bad ♪ 393 00:16:00,163 --> 00:16:03,643 ♪ It's the best I've ever had ♪ 394 00:16:03,683 --> 00:16:06,363 ♪ I wanna hold her, wanna hold her tight ♪ 395 00:16:06,403 --> 00:16:09,763 ♪ Get our teenage kicks right through the night ♪ 396 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,363 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 397 00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:14,403 ♪♪ 398 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,363 Hey. 399 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,923 So what's your angle? 400 00:16:21,963 --> 00:16:23,123 How do you mean? 401 00:16:23,163 --> 00:16:24,923 You know she's still grieving. 402 00:16:24,963 --> 00:16:27,363 Right, so anything she tells you is just... 403 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,163 nonsense, like a fever dream. 404 00:16:29,203 --> 00:16:30,683 There's no way she's over my dad. 405 00:16:30,723 --> 00:16:32,683 Well, it'd be strange if she were over him. 406 00:16:32,723 --> 00:16:34,403 She told me how hard his death hit you all. 407 00:16:34,443 --> 00:16:36,363 Sounds like he was a wonderful man. 408 00:16:37,483 --> 00:16:39,523 Yeah, well, he was. 409 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,683 Nice to see you two chatting. 410 00:16:41,723 --> 00:16:42,963 How are you gettin' on? 411 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,803 Yeah, great. He's great. 412 00:16:44,843 --> 00:16:48,243 And I think, you know, if you two hit pause, 413 00:16:48,283 --> 00:16:50,363 and then picked it up again in a couple of years 414 00:16:50,403 --> 00:16:52,203 when you've had proper time to grieve for Dad, 415 00:16:52,243 --> 00:16:54,323 then I might even feel good about it. 416 00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,283 Yes. Him. 417 00:16:56,323 --> 00:16:58,243 -[grunting] -What the hell? 418 00:16:58,283 --> 00:16:59,363 [grunting, yelling] 419 00:16:59,403 --> 00:17:00,403 SHARON: What are you doing? 420 00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:02,803 Fergal! What the fuck? 421 00:17:02,843 --> 00:17:04,243 -[grunting] -[screaming] 422 00:17:11,123 --> 00:17:14,123 ♪♪ 423 00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:22,363 ♪ I wanna hold her, wanna hold her tight ♪ 424 00:17:22,363 --> 00:17:25,723 ♪ Get teenage kicks right through the night ♪ 425 00:17:25,763 --> 00:17:26,843 ♪ Hey! ♪ 426 00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:29,923 ♪♪ 427 00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:33,723 Hey, guys. 428 00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:37,603 We should maybe take a taxi. 429 00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:38,763 Why? 430 00:17:38,803 --> 00:17:41,723 So we can get home quick and fuck. 431 00:17:41,763 --> 00:17:42,803 I'm ovulating. 432 00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:45,843 Oh. [chuckles] Right. 433 00:17:45,843 --> 00:17:46,923 Let's, uh-- 434 00:17:46,963 --> 00:17:49,043 What do you say 435 00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:52,923 we go somewhere and have a chat? 436 00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:57,043 SHARON: Why am I even having to deal with this anyway? 437 00:17:57,083 --> 00:17:58,363 -It's your fuckin' mate-- -Stop talking at me like that. 438 00:17:58,363 --> 00:18:00,123 You're moaning about everything. 439 00:18:00,203 --> 00:18:01,963 I'm not-- Hey, you came! 440 00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:03,443 Hey, did you bring any diarrhea? 441 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,723 What the hell happened? Does he have a pulse? 442 00:18:05,763 --> 00:18:07,683 Relax, Nancy, he's just taking a breather. 443 00:18:07,723 --> 00:18:10,603 -Oh, back off, Fergal. -What is your fucking problem? 444 00:18:10,683 --> 00:18:12,363 -You. -Oh, you think you're better than me? 445 00:18:12,443 --> 00:18:14,963 -Right now, yeah. -Well, you're not. 446 00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:16,843 You're like a fuckin' fun vacuum. 447 00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:19,003 You're like Reverend Footloose. 448 00:18:19,043 --> 00:18:22,003 Everyone, stop dancing! Stop having fun! 449 00:18:22,043 --> 00:18:24,203 The Reverend fuckin' Rob Norris is here. 450 00:18:24,243 --> 00:18:26,683 Jesus Christ, your eyes are, like, 100 percent pupil. 451 00:18:26,723 --> 00:18:28,443 -Are you high? -It's my birthday! 452 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,723 Oh, Fergal. Nobody gives a shit. 453 00:18:30,763 --> 00:18:32,723 Six people showed up to celebrate with you, 454 00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,363 and one of em's your mom. 455 00:18:34,443 --> 00:18:35,363 [gasping] 456 00:18:35,443 --> 00:18:36,363 -[screaming] -Oh, jeez! 457 00:18:36,443 --> 00:18:37,603 What are you doing? 458 00:18:37,683 --> 00:18:39,123 -[screaming] -[indistinct yelling] 459 00:18:39,123 --> 00:18:40,683 Be careful! 460 00:18:40,723 --> 00:18:42,843 SHARON: Fergal, get off him! 461 00:18:42,843 --> 00:18:44,363 [grunting] 462 00:18:44,363 --> 00:18:46,203 [indistinct yelling] 463 00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:47,523 SHARON: Fergal, what the fuck! 464 00:18:47,563 --> 00:18:48,683 Get off him! 465 00:18:48,723 --> 00:18:51,043 Um, who are we here for? 466 00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:55,283 ♪♪ 467 00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,723 [cell phone chimes] 468 00:18:59,483 --> 00:19:01,363 Oh, come on. 469 00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,243 [sighs] 470 00:19:08,803 --> 00:19:10,003 What the fuck is going on with you? 471 00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:12,443 Are you having a mid-life crisis? 472 00:19:12,483 --> 00:19:15,043 I'm not having a mid-life-- 473 00:19:15,083 --> 00:19:16,923 [sighs] 474 00:19:16,963 --> 00:19:19,283 My wife fucking hates me. 475 00:19:19,323 --> 00:19:22,003 When I drive into work, I think about pulling into oncoming traffic. 476 00:19:22,043 --> 00:19:25,843 Yeah, maybe it is a crisis. Not mid-life, though, come on. 477 00:19:25,843 --> 00:19:27,843 Jesus Christ! 478 00:19:27,923 --> 00:19:29,603 So what are you gonna do? Leave her. 479 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,603 Because you cannot continue like this. 480 00:19:32,683 --> 00:19:34,563 You're gonna get yourself in serious trouble 481 00:19:34,603 --> 00:19:36,683 being this much of an asshole, Fergal. 482 00:19:36,723 --> 00:19:39,603 You-- You're gonna be in a bar one night mouthing off, 483 00:19:39,683 --> 00:19:43,323 and some Spanish Vinnie Jones is gonna smash your face in. 484 00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:46,243 -I can't leave her. -What? 485 00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:48,363 I fuckin' made a promise to Dad, okay? 486 00:19:48,363 --> 00:19:50,243 I told him I'd work it out with Mallandra. 487 00:19:50,283 --> 00:19:52,123 Why would you promise him that? 488 00:19:52,203 --> 00:19:53,363 It made him smile. 489 00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:55,843 Fergal, he'd had a stroke. 490 00:19:55,923 --> 00:19:58,203 He didn't have full control of his facial muscles. 491 00:19:58,243 --> 00:20:00,563 Oh! Oh, God. 492 00:20:01,603 --> 00:20:03,763 -Good morning. -Morning. 493 00:20:05,123 --> 00:20:06,603 Where's Ciaran? 494 00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:09,003 -Um... -He slept in Frankie's bunk bed last night. 495 00:20:09,043 --> 00:20:10,603 He's got a concussion, though, 496 00:20:10,603 --> 00:20:13,323 so I think it's important that we let him sleep. 497 00:20:13,363 --> 00:20:15,723 What? No, that is the opposite of what you do. 498 00:20:15,763 --> 00:20:16,803 I'll go check on him. 499 00:20:19,923 --> 00:20:22,523 Does anybody have a mint? 500 00:20:24,243 --> 00:20:25,243 Doesn't matter. 501 00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:28,283 ♪♪ 502 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,123 I owe you probably 15 apologies. 503 00:20:34,203 --> 00:20:36,523 Look, it's okay. 504 00:20:36,563 --> 00:20:38,363 I had a bit of a revelation earlier. 505 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:41,003 I used the toilet after you were in there this morning, 506 00:20:41,043 --> 00:20:42,843 and the seat was warm. 507 00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:44,083 And I got really angry. 508 00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:45,363 Then I thought, 509 00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:47,203 why do I care how it got warm? 510 00:20:47,243 --> 00:20:49,603 It's warm and it's cozy. 511 00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:50,923 What I'm trying to say is, 512 00:20:50,963 --> 00:20:52,443 you're my wife's brother, 513 00:20:52,483 --> 00:20:55,043 and I'm glad that you're leaving, 514 00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:57,003 but I know that you'll be back at some point, 515 00:20:57,043 --> 00:20:58,083 and that's fine. 516 00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:03,483 Just out of curiosity, 517 00:21:03,523 --> 00:21:05,763 have you ever hated anything as much as you hate me? 518 00:21:05,803 --> 00:21:07,283 'Cause it seems a little excessive. 519 00:21:09,243 --> 00:21:10,803 -Shar-- -Can I just-- 520 00:21:10,843 --> 00:21:12,003 Sorry, can I go? 521 00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:15,923 Mum, I'm sorry about how I behaved. 522 00:21:15,963 --> 00:21:18,083 You've just lost your husband, you know, 523 00:21:18,123 --> 00:21:19,443 you should be able to do whatever you want to do 524 00:21:19,483 --> 00:21:20,603 when your husband dies. 525 00:21:20,683 --> 00:21:22,603 Including fuck up. Which you're not. 526 00:21:22,603 --> 00:21:24,443 I guess I-- I'm just trying to say 527 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:28,603 don't break up with Stephen on my account. 528 00:21:28,683 --> 00:21:29,843 What were you gonna say? 529 00:21:29,843 --> 00:21:31,363 I was just going to say 530 00:21:31,363 --> 00:21:33,683 I left five euros for Frankie under his pillow. 531 00:21:35,123 --> 00:21:36,243 Oh. 532 00:21:39,363 --> 00:21:42,243 Be careful. Okay? 533 00:21:42,283 --> 00:21:44,843 That fit at that age... 534 00:21:44,843 --> 00:21:45,843 just seems a bit-- 535 00:21:45,923 --> 00:21:47,243 I just saying he could be gay. 536 00:21:47,283 --> 00:21:49,963 You know. I mean, he's such a good dancer. 537 00:21:50,003 --> 00:21:52,083 I don't want you to get hurt. 538 00:21:52,123 --> 00:21:55,243 Well, if he is gay, he's under deep cover. 539 00:21:55,283 --> 00:21:58,283 ♪♪ 540 00:22:02,723 --> 00:22:04,003 How long do you think you'd wait 541 00:22:04,043 --> 00:22:06,283 to get together with someone after I die? 542 00:22:06,323 --> 00:22:09,163 Like, if I had to go out and look for 'em? 543 00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:11,603 It'd be, you know, a couple years. 544 00:22:11,643 --> 00:22:13,843 But if somebody came up to me and was, like, 545 00:22:13,883 --> 00:22:16,363 "I'm fucking you now," 546 00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:19,443 then I would wait, like, you know, a day or two. 547 00:22:19,483 --> 00:22:21,523 [chuckles] Yeah. 548 00:22:21,563 --> 00:22:24,483 If I die, I would be fine with you being with someone else. 549 00:22:24,523 --> 00:22:27,723 You know, I'm dead. I don't care. 550 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,403 But if the slut you get together with 551 00:22:29,443 --> 00:22:31,923 even suggests my kids call her mum, 552 00:22:31,963 --> 00:22:33,243 I'll haunt her. 553 00:22:33,283 --> 00:22:34,603 -[laughs] -And if Muireann has her period, 554 00:22:34,643 --> 00:22:36,363 you come to my grave and you tell me, 555 00:22:36,403 --> 00:22:37,923 not your mail order bride. 556 00:22:37,963 --> 00:22:39,163 That's non-negotiable. 557 00:22:42,243 --> 00:22:44,643 Hey, I'm sorry I never threw you a party for your 40th. 558 00:22:44,683 --> 00:22:46,803 I didn't want a party for my 40th. 559 00:22:46,843 --> 00:22:50,003 Well, a picnic then, or we could have gone to the beach. 560 00:22:50,043 --> 00:22:52,523 Just makes me want to cry thinking about it. 561 00:22:53,763 --> 00:22:55,203 I'm sorry about Fergal. 562 00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:57,563 I know sometimes it seems like I put my family first, 563 00:22:57,603 --> 00:22:59,723 but I love you. 564 00:22:59,763 --> 00:23:01,003 And that's why I married you, 565 00:23:01,043 --> 00:23:02,363 and not him. 566 00:23:02,403 --> 00:23:05,243 [chuckles] And also because I'm fun. 567 00:23:05,283 --> 00:23:07,563 -Huh? -Well, you still think I'm fun, don't you? 568 00:23:07,603 --> 00:23:09,683 I mean, I know I said fun for me isn't 569 00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:11,843 rolling you and Fergal around in a wheelbarrow, 570 00:23:11,883 --> 00:23:14,043 but, you know, I'd give it a shot. 571 00:23:14,083 --> 00:23:17,363 [laughs] You are plenty of great things. 572 00:23:17,403 --> 00:23:19,123 I don't need you to be fun. 573 00:23:19,163 --> 00:23:22,803 Well, tough luck, because I am. 574 00:23:22,843 --> 00:23:26,123 [laughs] Get off-- Stop! 575 00:23:26,163 --> 00:23:27,323 -[glass breaks] -[loud thud] 576 00:23:27,363 --> 00:23:28,483 -Ow! -Oh-- 577 00:23:28,523 --> 00:23:30,763 -Jesus! -I'm sorry. 578 00:23:30,803 --> 00:23:33,803 ♪♪