1 00:00:05,718 --> 00:00:07,976 _ 2 00:00:14,173 --> 00:00:15,305 Hey. 3 00:00:15,374 --> 00:00:17,875 What's his problem? Is this his chicken? 4 00:00:17,943 --> 00:00:19,254 Tonight was the first time that his band 5 00:00:19,278 --> 00:00:20,711 played to an empty house. 6 00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,427 Even the baristas left. 7 00:00:22,458 --> 00:00:24,625 They gave me the keys to lock up. 8 00:00:24,944 --> 00:00:26,310 Oh, shoot. 9 00:00:27,154 --> 00:00:28,183 Hey. 10 00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:29,897 Funeral Goose played tonight, huh? 11 00:00:29,966 --> 00:00:31,932 Yep. It's a Friday. 12 00:00:31,957 --> 00:00:33,845 I've played every Friday for a year. 13 00:00:34,131 --> 00:00:36,331 You guys play every Friday? Really? 14 00:00:36,356 --> 00:00:37,393 Yep. 15 00:00:37,418 --> 00:00:38,839 So if it's a Friday, 16 00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:39,941 you guys are playing? 17 00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:40,808 Yes. 18 00:00:40,877 --> 00:00:41,909 What if there's a month 19 00:00:41,978 --> 00:00:43,110 with five Fridays? 20 00:00:43,179 --> 00:00:44,379 You playing all those Fridays? 21 00:00:44,414 --> 00:00:46,251 Yes! Oh, my God. You know what? 22 00:00:46,276 --> 00:00:47,536 It doesn't even matter. 23 00:00:47,561 --> 00:00:49,395 Why do I bother anymore? 24 00:00:51,236 --> 00:00:53,937 We're the worst, Heather. 25 00:00:53,962 --> 00:00:55,973 What kind of parents don't support their kid's dreams? 26 00:00:55,997 --> 00:00:58,070 Oh, honey, if we supported all of Tyler's dreams, 27 00:00:58,094 --> 00:01:00,795 he'd be a Mack truck turned into a robot. 28 00:01:00,863 --> 00:01:02,902 Yeah, but I know what it's like 29 00:01:02,927 --> 00:01:04,473 to have parents that don't believe in you. 30 00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:09,852 I mean, I never... told you this about myself, but... 31 00:01:09,877 --> 00:01:10,910 The diving? 32 00:01:11,180 --> 00:01:12,418 Oh, yeah. 33 00:01:12,443 --> 00:01:13,684 - Yeah. - Well, then you already know 34 00:01:13,708 --> 00:01:16,109 that my parents never came to a single meet. 35 00:01:16,178 --> 00:01:17,911 Babe, I know. Listen, why don't you go look 36 00:01:17,979 --> 00:01:19,991 at some of those diving medals that you keep in a shoebox, 37 00:01:20,015 --> 00:01:22,031 with the bird's nest and the seashells. 38 00:01:24,553 --> 00:01:26,653 Yeah. 39 00:01:26,721 --> 00:01:28,966 I'll have a snack while I'm down there. 40 00:01:31,827 --> 00:01:33,493 Well, here we are. 41 00:01:33,562 --> 00:01:35,428 Oh, this doesn't look like The Container Store. 42 00:01:35,497 --> 00:01:37,230 I must have taken a wrong turn. 43 00:01:37,299 --> 00:01:39,632 Dad, we seriously need to buy stackable storage. 44 00:01:39,701 --> 00:01:41,067 What's going on? 45 00:01:41,136 --> 00:01:42,802 It's a recording studio. 46 00:01:42,871 --> 00:01:45,171 Yeah, clearly. Why are we here? 47 00:01:45,207 --> 00:01:46,606 To record your new demo. 48 00:01:46,675 --> 00:01:47,941 What? 49 00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:49,187 A patient of mine owns the place, 50 00:01:49,211 --> 00:01:50,643 so he owed me big-time. 51 00:01:50,712 --> 00:01:52,683 All I had to do was pay for the studio musicians 52 00:01:52,708 --> 00:01:54,293 and the engineer. 53 00:01:54,318 --> 00:01:56,349 And the enormous fee for rental. 54 00:01:56,731 --> 00:01:58,585 Dad, you really didn't have to do this. 55 00:01:58,653 --> 00:02:01,087 I wanted to do this. You are a born musician. 56 00:02:01,156 --> 00:02:03,042 Just like I'm a born negotiator. 57 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:04,257 Now get in there. 58 00:02:04,326 --> 00:02:05,625 Seriously, get in there. 59 00:02:05,694 --> 00:02:07,177 They're charging me by the minute. 60 00:02:07,202 --> 00:02:08,638 And remember: 61 00:02:08,663 --> 00:02:12,893 if I could give you one piece of advice on music, I would. 62 00:02:20,893 --> 00:02:23,476 ♪ Climb higher and higher ♪ 63 00:02:23,545 --> 00:02:25,044 ♪ Up past the sky... ♪ 64 00:02:25,113 --> 00:02:26,698 Sorry. 65 00:02:27,643 --> 00:02:30,183 No worries. Let's just pick it up from the chorus. 66 00:02:35,924 --> 00:02:38,391 ♪ Climb higher and higher ♪ 67 00:02:38,460 --> 00:02:40,360 ♪ Up past the sky ♪ 68 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,962 ♪ Fly, my sweet creature ♪ 69 00:02:43,031 --> 00:02:46,132 ♪ Don't ever ask why... ♪ 70 00:02:46,463 --> 00:02:48,081 Is this the bridge? 71 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:49,671 I hope not. 72 00:02:49,696 --> 00:02:51,429 Let me talk to him. 73 00:02:52,941 --> 00:02:54,507 Hey, what's the problem in there, bud? 74 00:02:54,576 --> 00:02:56,743 The problem is me. I'm terrible. 75 00:02:56,811 --> 00:02:58,344 What? You're not terrible. 76 00:02:58,413 --> 00:03:00,180 Right? He's not terrible. 77 00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:01,848 Uh, yeah, you're not great. 78 00:03:01,917 --> 00:03:03,850 Why would you say that? I'm paying you. 79 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:05,084 Of course he's bad, man. 80 00:03:05,153 --> 00:03:06,653 But you don't say that. 81 00:03:06,721 --> 00:03:08,466 Right. I'm still pressing the button, by the way. 82 00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,519 Why would you do that? I'm paying you! 83 00:03:10,544 --> 00:03:12,048 No. He's right. 84 00:03:12,073 --> 00:03:14,360 I don't have what it takes to make it as a musician, 85 00:03:14,385 --> 00:03:17,954 and I think, uh, I think maybe I've known for a long time now. 86 00:03:30,111 --> 00:03:32,178 Hey. I'm proud of you. 87 00:03:32,247 --> 00:03:34,058 I know that was a hard thing to admit, but you're not 88 00:03:34,082 --> 00:03:37,183 the only one who's ever given up on a dream. 89 00:03:37,252 --> 00:03:39,285 I never told you this about myself, but... 90 00:03:39,354 --> 00:03:40,620 - I... - The diving? 91 00:03:41,402 --> 00:03:42,471 Oh, yeah. 92 00:03:42,496 --> 00:03:44,924 Well, I may have had a nose for diving, 93 00:03:44,993 --> 00:03:47,193 but I didn't have the ears. 94 00:03:47,698 --> 00:03:48,900 I developed swimmer's ear. 95 00:03:48,925 --> 00:03:52,065 Spent more time in the doctor's office than the pool. 96 00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:55,000 And it was only then, while completely dry, 97 00:03:55,025 --> 00:03:57,446 that my appetite was finally whet. 98 00:03:58,496 --> 00:04:01,430 I realized I wanted to be an ear, nose and throat doctor. 99 00:04:02,860 --> 00:04:04,611 So you're saying I could be a doctor? 100 00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:07,747 Oh, no, way. But look, 101 00:04:08,016 --> 00:04:10,044 you'll find your own path someday. 102 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:12,767 And hey, just 'cause you're not playing music for a living 103 00:04:12,792 --> 00:04:15,453 doesn't mean you can't go back to it any time you want to. 104 00:04:15,928 --> 00:04:17,895 Have you ever gone back to diving? 105 00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:22,366 Not in a long time. 106 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:26,837 What are you looking at? 107 00:05:13,891 --> 00:05:15,551 _ 108 00:05:18,465 --> 00:05:22,120 Oh, man. Oof. This heartburn is the worst. 109 00:05:22,145 --> 00:05:24,569 Feels like the baby's smoking a cigarette in there. 110 00:05:24,637 --> 00:05:27,872 That's weird. You only had two dozen jalapeño poppers. 111 00:05:27,941 --> 00:05:31,026 - I know. - I'll get your back. 112 00:05:31,557 --> 00:05:33,844 You know what, honey? 113 00:05:33,913 --> 00:05:36,720 I love you. I love you so much. 114 00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:40,440 I want to look at you from across the room. 115 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,554 You know, like, uh, fine art. 116 00:05:43,623 --> 00:05:46,557 Okay. This is, like, one of your pregnancy things. 117 00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:47,959 - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah? 118 00:05:48,027 --> 00:05:50,940 It's just my senses are all out of whack, and... 119 00:05:50,965 --> 00:05:52,704 You can tell me. I can take it. 120 00:05:52,729 --> 00:05:54,265 - You sure? Okay. - Yeah. 121 00:05:54,334 --> 00:05:56,908 Um, well, it's your nose breath. 122 00:05:57,682 --> 00:05:58,813 My what, now? 123 00:05:58,838 --> 00:06:01,278 You know the air that comes out of your nose when you breathe? 124 00:06:01,341 --> 00:06:04,542 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. It makes me want to vomit. 125 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:07,545 Lucky for me, I have another hole I can use. 126 00:06:07,614 --> 00:06:09,510 Okay. 127 00:06:17,292 --> 00:06:19,954 I'm sorry, is there a third option? So sorry. 128 00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:21,937 Don't be. All right? I can, I can take it, all right? 129 00:06:21,961 --> 00:06:24,328 What, what else bothers you, sweetness? 130 00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:27,708 Um, the way you say your S's. 131 00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:29,700 Just kind of really makes the food 132 00:06:29,725 --> 00:06:32,010 want to come-come out and party. 133 00:06:33,712 --> 00:06:34,968 Hey, honey? 134 00:06:34,993 --> 00:06:36,433 What happened to my yogurt? 135 00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:37,991 Oh, I threw it away. 136 00:06:38,059 --> 00:06:39,993 It was just the word. Ugh. 137 00:06:41,289 --> 00:06:43,563 I get it. It's a gross word. 138 00:06:43,632 --> 00:06:46,599 Thank you for being so understanding. 139 00:06:47,101 --> 00:06:48,199 Love you. 140 00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:49,389 Love you. 141 00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:53,239 It is freezing. 142 00:06:53,308 --> 00:06:56,075 Ugh, your pee, Greg. It is deafening. 143 00:06:56,144 --> 00:06:59,112 I mean, I thought you said you were gonna pee sitting down. 144 00:06:59,181 --> 00:07:01,609 Well, the seat's too cold. I'll stick to it if I sit down. 145 00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:03,475 It's... You know what it is? It's the drop. 146 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,266 Like, I think it's a distance thing. 147 00:07:05,335 --> 00:07:06,801 Okay, look, I don't mean to brag, 148 00:07:06,870 --> 00:07:08,820 but the distance between me and the bowl 149 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,444 is about as short as it can be. 150 00:07:10,469 --> 00:07:12,537 Okay, what is the thermostat set at? 151 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:14,209 No, hey, do not touch that. 152 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,037 I am sweltering. 153 00:07:16,062 --> 00:07:17,405 Sixty-two? 154 00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:20,553 Oh, yeah, well, no wonder. Can you take it down to 60? 155 00:07:20,578 --> 00:07:21,382 No. 156 00:07:21,451 --> 00:07:23,818 The A/C guy said if we do that, the system will freeze. 157 00:07:23,887 --> 00:07:26,766 Well, the A/C guy isn't having this baby. 158 00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:28,937 Okay, okay. 159 00:07:36,132 --> 00:07:38,132 Oh, honey, can you just stop moving, though? 160 00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:39,834 It's making me nauseous. 161 00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,669 I'm shivering. I don't have a choice. 162 00:07:41,738 --> 00:07:44,319 Oh, honey, no S's. 163 00:07:45,148 --> 00:07:46,330 Give me some of this blanket. 164 00:07:46,355 --> 00:07:50,044 No, I'm so sorry, but I do need the full weight on my body. 165 00:07:50,113 --> 00:07:52,094 And can you face the other way? 166 00:07:52,119 --> 00:07:53,715 And, Greg, don't forget the mask. 167 00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:55,765 Okay, that's it. 168 00:07:55,812 --> 00:07:57,384 I'm done, I'm done. 169 00:07:57,409 --> 00:08:00,154 I'm tired of being treated like the Elephant Man. 170 00:08:00,223 --> 00:08:04,592 Greg, no, I only said that when you were eating soup. 171 00:08:04,661 --> 00:08:06,327 Because you wouldn't let me chew. 172 00:08:06,396 --> 00:08:08,930 Well, you're the one who chose chowder. 173 00:08:08,998 --> 00:08:10,498 There's been a lot of consideration 174 00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,657 for how hard this pregnancy's been on you, 175 00:08:12,682 --> 00:08:14,985 but there has been zero consideration 176 00:08:15,010 --> 00:08:16,893 for how hard it's been for me. 177 00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:18,940 I'm sorry, what? 178 00:08:19,008 --> 00:08:22,711 Did you say the pregnancy's been hard for you? 179 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,712 - Yeah. - This pregnancy? 180 00:08:24,781 --> 00:08:27,682 Yes, this pregnancy, because you get to eat whenever you want, 181 00:08:27,751 --> 00:08:29,438 you get to breathe however you want, 182 00:08:29,463 --> 00:08:31,360 and you don't have to pee sitting down. 183 00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:33,287 I do pee sitting down, Greg. 184 00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:37,767 In fact, every time I sit down, a little bit slips out, 185 00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:40,793 so you're right, I've got it made. 186 00:08:41,403 --> 00:08:44,831 What are you doing? What are you doing? No. 187 00:08:44,856 --> 00:08:47,400 No, no, no, you wouldn't. 188 00:08:47,468 --> 00:08:49,068 Let's see how the 50s feel. 189 00:08:50,438 --> 00:08:52,213 Not a fan. 190 00:08:52,238 --> 00:08:56,474 I'm much more a fan of the 80s... 191 00:09:00,949 --> 00:09:03,550 Honey? Oh! 192 00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:05,818 Oh, sweetie. 193 00:09:05,887 --> 00:09:09,897 - Oh, I am so sorry. - Honey, no S's. 194 00:09:14,495 --> 00:09:15,695 Daddy home. 195 00:09:16,168 --> 00:09:17,840 How are my two favorite girl? 196 00:09:17,865 --> 00:09:19,998 Daddy, dinner's ready. 197 00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:22,450 Thanks, honey. 198 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,453 _ 199 00:10:04,583 --> 00:10:07,284 Slower, slower. Okay, the chair. 200 00:10:07,353 --> 00:10:10,014 The chair. Oh! 201 00:10:10,039 --> 00:10:11,772 Welcome home! 202 00:10:11,797 --> 00:10:13,190 I'm here. 203 00:10:13,259 --> 00:10:15,569 I'm broken, but I'm here. 204 00:10:15,594 --> 00:10:17,625 Your mother took her surgery like a champ, 205 00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:19,834 which makes sense because taking it like a champ 206 00:10:19,903 --> 00:10:22,147 is what got her into this mess. 207 00:10:22,172 --> 00:10:25,106 John, everybody knows I was injured making love. 208 00:10:25,175 --> 00:10:26,175 Oh. 209 00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:28,409 - Um, listen, Mom. - Uh-huh? 210 00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:31,366 You let us know whatever we can do to help, okay? 211 00:10:31,391 --> 00:10:35,353 Nonsense. No, she's got all the help she needs right here. 212 00:10:35,378 --> 00:10:36,918 You're gonna take care of me? 213 00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:38,353 Well, I'm the one who hurt you, 214 00:10:38,421 --> 00:10:40,421 so I'm the one who has to heal you. 215 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:41,956 It's-it's jungle law. 216 00:10:42,025 --> 00:10:43,191 Kids, 217 00:10:43,259 --> 00:10:44,592 - keep on your cell. - All right. 218 00:10:44,661 --> 00:10:46,811 - Keep on your cell phones. - We got it. 219 00:10:46,836 --> 00:10:48,407 It's a lot harder to push that with the brake on. 220 00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:50,164 - Should we tell him? - No, no. 221 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,466 We'd have to raise our voices, 222 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,267 and you know how much that upsets Mom. 223 00:10:53,796 --> 00:10:55,998 I'm sorry that took so long. 224 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,733 Those wheels just did not want to turn. 225 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:00,023 I'm hungry. 226 00:11:00,048 --> 00:11:03,311 Do you think that you could manage to make some oatmeal? 227 00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:05,380 Well, if I can haul you up the stairs, 228 00:11:05,448 --> 00:11:07,548 leave you there, go back downstairs, 229 00:11:07,617 --> 00:11:09,517 haul the wheelchair back up the stairs, 230 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,853 then lift you back into it, 231 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:14,789 I think I can whip up a little oatmeal. 232 00:11:18,163 --> 00:11:19,529 Voilà! 233 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:22,716 Huh? Oatmeal à la Joanie. 234 00:11:22,741 --> 00:11:24,165 - Oh! - Oh. 235 00:11:24,278 --> 00:11:26,711 - Did you make all this? - Mm-hmm. 236 00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:28,736 Is that juice fresh-squeezed? 237 00:11:28,805 --> 00:11:32,325 I'd let you smell my hands, but I got too much class. 238 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,563 Your mother loves your food. 239 00:11:36,588 --> 00:11:37,621 - Oh! - Yeah. 240 00:11:37,646 --> 00:11:39,855 - Thanks for being here. - Oh, no problem, Dad. 241 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,881 You know what? Sam told me I looked tired today, 242 00:11:41,906 --> 00:11:44,185 so I'm happy to let her walk home from school. 243 00:11:44,254 --> 00:11:47,991 And I hope you're also happy to keep this on the down under. 244 00:11:48,017 --> 00:11:49,216 On the what? 245 00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:50,491 The down under. 246 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,554 That's how the Australians keep it on the down low. 247 00:11:53,687 --> 00:11:56,287 Huh. Listen, you know what, Dad? It's not a problem. 248 00:11:56,312 --> 00:11:57,872 I won't say anything to Mom, okay? 249 00:11:57,897 --> 00:11:59,622 Just let me know when you need me. 250 00:11:59,647 --> 00:12:01,502 - Oh, Heather, um... - Yeah. 251 00:12:01,873 --> 00:12:04,731 Your mom wanted a strawberry smoothie and... 252 00:12:04,756 --> 00:12:06,606 - Oh. - I'll take one, too. 253 00:12:06,631 --> 00:12:07,619 Sure, Dad. 254 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:11,467 But I want mine chocolate and more like a milkshake. 255 00:12:11,492 --> 00:12:12,447 Okay. 256 00:12:12,515 --> 00:12:14,015 But we're out of ice cream. 257 00:12:14,084 --> 00:12:16,647 I-I know the market has it, so since you're there, 258 00:12:16,672 --> 00:12:17,885 I'll make you a list here. 259 00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:19,549 Okay. 260 00:12:19,574 --> 00:12:20,787 Oh, you also, uh, 261 00:12:20,812 --> 00:12:21,689 need to get some pens. 262 00:12:21,758 --> 00:12:24,792 - Yeah, sure, some pens. - Mm-hmm. 263 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,475 Bras on, Joanie. 264 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:28,533 You got visitors. 265 00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:30,001 Oh! 266 00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:34,187 Kids. Oh, what lovely flowers. 267 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,708 Aren't they gorgeous? Tyler just got them for me. 268 00:12:36,776 --> 00:12:38,776 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, here. 269 00:12:41,452 --> 00:12:43,159 "Feel better. 270 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:45,664 From us." 271 00:12:45,857 --> 00:12:48,124 I'll-I'll cherish this. 272 00:12:48,421 --> 00:12:50,088 Did you make this grilled cheese? 273 00:12:50,156 --> 00:12:51,856 Of course. It's easy. 274 00:12:51,925 --> 00:12:53,791 Well, I got laundry to do. 275 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,331 Any change I find, I get to keep. 276 00:12:57,073 --> 00:12:59,731 You know, I see Pop-Pop as a "sitting in a chair 277 00:12:59,799 --> 00:13:01,409 and expecting things" kind of guy, 278 00:13:01,434 --> 00:13:03,367 but he's really stepping up. 279 00:13:06,172 --> 00:13:08,206 - Something wrong? - Gruyère. 280 00:13:08,275 --> 00:13:09,607 Gruyère cheese. 281 00:13:09,676 --> 00:13:12,048 That means he went into the market. 282 00:13:12,073 --> 00:13:15,313 He didn't just sit in the car, honking the horn the whole time. 283 00:13:15,382 --> 00:13:16,881 I think it's really amazing 284 00:13:16,950 --> 00:13:18,883 that you guys still have your licenses. 285 00:13:18,952 --> 00:13:20,714 I can't believe this. 286 00:13:20,739 --> 00:13:23,495 I cook and clean for 50 years, 287 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,458 and all the while, I'm married to a secret Martha Stewart. 288 00:13:27,864 --> 00:13:30,313 Okay, Dad, the laundry's gonna have to wait, okay? 289 00:13:30,338 --> 00:13:32,672 I'm working on this baked ziti for Mom. 290 00:13:32,697 --> 00:13:34,165 Oh, the baked ziti is for me. 291 00:13:34,234 --> 00:13:36,668 Uh, your mother wants Bolognese. 292 00:13:36,736 --> 00:13:37,736 What? 293 00:13:37,804 --> 00:13:40,549 Okay, the Bolognese is for me, too. 294 00:13:40,574 --> 00:13:43,079 I wasn't sure if I was gonna like your ziti. 295 00:13:43,104 --> 00:13:44,909 - She wants a salad. - Dad! 296 00:13:44,978 --> 00:13:47,912 - Okay. Skip the salad. She ate lunch. - Okay. 297 00:13:47,981 --> 00:13:49,147 You know what? 298 00:13:49,215 --> 00:13:50,848 Let Matt and Greg deal with this. 299 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,583 Okay? Where are they? 300 00:13:52,652 --> 00:13:54,573 They were supposed to relieve me. 301 00:13:54,598 --> 00:13:55,920 I called them off. 302 00:13:55,989 --> 00:13:58,156 You know, I didn't want the food quality to drop. 303 00:13:58,224 --> 00:13:59,424 Which reminds me, 304 00:13:59,492 --> 00:14:01,529 I want to wow Joanie in the morning. 305 00:14:01,554 --> 00:14:03,761 You know how to make a crab Benedict? 306 00:14:03,830 --> 00:14:07,632 Yeah, I... oh, and your mom probably just wants a bagel. 307 00:14:07,701 --> 00:14:10,668 I came here to take care of Mom, not both of you. 308 00:14:10,737 --> 00:14:12,170 I'm out. 309 00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:15,074 Heather, I'll drive you to the market, huh? 310 00:14:15,099 --> 00:14:17,144 And I promise not to honk. 311 00:14:17,169 --> 00:14:18,109 Heather! 312 00:14:18,178 --> 00:14:20,511 Who's raising their voices down there? 313 00:14:20,915 --> 00:14:22,648 Heather. 314 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,109 Well, 315 00:14:25,134 --> 00:14:28,663 look who rode into town with his next gourmet meal. 316 00:14:28,688 --> 00:14:31,517 Baked ziti à la Joanie. 317 00:14:32,712 --> 00:14:34,959 Uncooked pasta with ketchup. 318 00:14:35,028 --> 00:14:36,388 Well, sure, it may seem like that. 319 00:14:36,429 --> 00:14:38,696 But, actually, it's a culinary journey. 320 00:14:38,765 --> 00:14:41,132 First, you're a gourmet chef and now this? 321 00:14:41,201 --> 00:14:42,678 Well, sounds like somebody didn't see 322 00:14:42,702 --> 00:14:44,969 - the uncooked hot dogs. - Okay, 323 00:14:45,038 --> 00:14:47,401 I'm sleeping on a bare mattress. 324 00:14:47,426 --> 00:14:49,073 What is going on? 325 00:14:49,142 --> 00:14:52,409 Yeah, yeah, the, uh, sheets are in the pool. 326 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:55,213 I didn't know where to go from there. 327 00:14:55,281 --> 00:14:58,649 Oh, I got, I got a confession to make, Joanie. 328 00:14:58,674 --> 00:15:01,842 All the stuff you think that I've been doing for you, 329 00:15:01,867 --> 00:15:03,251 Heather's been doing it. 330 00:15:03,276 --> 00:15:05,237 - It was all Heather? - Mm-hmm. 331 00:15:05,262 --> 00:15:09,026 You take such good care of me, I wanted to take care of you. 332 00:15:09,095 --> 00:15:10,461 Are you mad? 333 00:15:10,497 --> 00:15:11,863 I'm thrilled! 334 00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:12,997 Really? 335 00:15:13,066 --> 00:15:14,332 All this time, 336 00:15:14,401 --> 00:15:17,308 I thought I was married to somebody who was lazy. 337 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,267 And, really, it turns out you're just... 338 00:15:20,292 --> 00:15:22,749 very, very incompetent. 339 00:15:22,774 --> 00:15:24,807 Oh, Joanie. 340 00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,901 _ 341 00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:48,767 Okay, so this lookbook 342 00:15:48,792 --> 00:15:50,959 will give you a sense of who we are 343 00:15:51,028 --> 00:15:54,496 and, uh, the family that your child would actually be joining. 344 00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:56,599 Binding it with shoelaces was my idea. 345 00:15:56,624 --> 00:15:57,767 - Crafty mom. - Yeah. 346 00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,637 Ugh, this isn't sweet at all. 347 00:15:59,662 --> 00:16:01,295 I asked for extra drizzle. 348 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,754 Yeah, you can... you can actually never have too much sugar. 349 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,521 Yep. Babies love sugar. 350 00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:07,200 That's what makes them so sweet. 351 00:16:07,268 --> 00:16:08,501 Mm. 352 00:16:08,570 --> 00:16:10,136 Mmm. You know what? 353 00:16:10,205 --> 00:16:11,282 It's actually not bad. It was my gum 354 00:16:11,306 --> 00:16:12,622 that was making it taste bad. 355 00:16:13,374 --> 00:16:14,874 That's convenient. 356 00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:16,142 So, uh, 357 00:16:16,211 --> 00:16:17,910 this is a picture from Halloween. 358 00:16:17,979 --> 00:16:19,690 That's actually us. I don't know if you can tell, 359 00:16:19,714 --> 00:16:21,514 but we're-we're dressed as the actual Minions. 360 00:16:21,542 --> 00:16:23,490 Oh, I love Halloween. It's the one night 361 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:24,847 where all crime is legal. 362 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,142 Ugh. 363 00:16:26,377 --> 00:16:28,341 No way, you basic B. 364 00:16:28,366 --> 00:16:30,286 You better watch your fat back. 365 00:16:30,311 --> 00:16:33,419 Is everything okay with... your basic B? 366 00:16:33,444 --> 00:16:36,017 She's been on my ass ever since she found out I was pregnant. 367 00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:39,277 Like, come on, like my mom's never smashed a rando, right? 368 00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:42,213 So, your basic B is-is actually your mom? 369 00:16:42,238 --> 00:16:45,806 Yeah. And now she wants my ex-boyfriend's number. 370 00:16:46,140 --> 00:16:48,407 God, I can't believe they're gonna get back together. 371 00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:51,478 Anyway, I got to pee. Being pregnant blows. 372 00:16:51,503 --> 00:16:53,791 You're so lucky you can't have kids, Colleen. 373 00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:55,360 I feel lucky. 374 00:16:55,661 --> 00:16:57,362 So, so lucky. 375 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,211 - Do you think she likes us? I can't tell. - Oh, no, no, no. 376 00:17:02,235 --> 00:17:03,546 You're doing great, you're doing great, you're doing great. 377 00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:05,281 I'm the one who can't stop saying "actually." 378 00:17:05,305 --> 00:17:07,505 I think I've actually said it, like, 14 times. 15. 379 00:17:07,574 --> 00:17:09,558 No, stop. You sound so smart. 380 00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:12,410 If I were pregnant, I would totally give us my baby. 381 00:17:14,425 --> 00:17:16,080 Ugh, adorbs. 382 00:17:16,105 --> 00:17:19,173 I am so weak for you. Um, unfortunately, 383 00:17:19,285 --> 00:17:22,019 my next couple's early, so you guys should probably... 384 00:17:22,088 --> 00:17:23,388 skedaddle. 385 00:17:23,413 --> 00:17:24,713 Your next couple? 386 00:17:24,824 --> 00:17:27,091 Bradford, Poppy. Matt and Colleen. 387 00:17:27,245 --> 00:17:28,993 - Hi. - Hi. 388 00:17:29,018 --> 00:17:31,088 Look at the jaundice your other children have. 389 00:17:31,113 --> 00:17:32,002 Oh, that's... 390 00:17:32,027 --> 00:17:34,065 that's actually us dressed up as Minions. 391 00:17:34,134 --> 00:17:35,833 - Cute. - Oh. 392 00:17:35,902 --> 00:17:37,346 - Okay. - Yeah. 393 00:17:38,213 --> 00:17:39,604 - See you. - All right. 394 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:42,133 - Sorry. Excuse me. - Thank you. Sorry. Excuse us. 395 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:44,767 Well, here is our digital lookbook. 396 00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:46,544 I hope you don't mind it's on a tablet. 397 00:17:46,569 --> 00:17:47,968 Which you can keep. 398 00:17:48,081 --> 00:17:50,362 What? My God, thank you so much. 399 00:17:50,387 --> 00:17:51,276 - You're so welcome. - What? 400 00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:52,372 Um, they're hugging? I'm sorry. 401 00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:54,371 I thought that she was weak for us. 402 00:17:58,183 --> 00:17:59,334 I told you 403 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,103 we shouldn't have put the Minions picture on the cover. 404 00:18:01,127 --> 00:18:04,181 We look like two Twinkies stuffed in denim wrappers. 405 00:18:04,206 --> 00:18:06,741 Oh. Is that actually on me, actually? 406 00:18:06,766 --> 00:18:07,965 I mean, do you even know 407 00:18:08,034 --> 00:18:09,734 any other words in the English language? 408 00:18:09,803 --> 00:18:11,013 I know the word "gift." You know, that thing 409 00:18:11,037 --> 00:18:12,066 that you said we shouldn't bring. 410 00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:13,322 Okay, look, 411 00:18:13,473 --> 00:18:14,950 I don't want us to turn on each other 412 00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:17,002 just because you screwed up so bad. 413 00:18:18,479 --> 00:18:20,111 Just ask Molly 414 00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:22,547 to give you the truck when she's done with it, Lucas. 415 00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:23,716 She'll bite me. 416 00:18:23,741 --> 00:18:25,416 Well, then roll down your sleeves. 417 00:18:26,953 --> 00:18:28,286 Good luck. 418 00:18:28,354 --> 00:18:30,588 - Yeah, he's gonna get bit. - Sheesh. 419 00:18:30,657 --> 00:18:31,722 So, I-I haven't connected 420 00:18:31,775 --> 00:18:33,427 with Morgan yet, but how did your meeting go? 421 00:18:33,451 --> 00:18:34,200 - Mm. - Oh, we blew it. 422 00:18:34,225 --> 00:18:35,471 Colleen said a whole bunch of stuff 423 00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:37,094 - that she totally regrets. - Um... 424 00:18:37,163 --> 00:18:39,163 we both are filled with regret and rage 425 00:18:39,232 --> 00:18:40,385 - for one another. - Mm-hmm. 426 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,709 Okay. Well, that's marriage. You know, 427 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:43,512 I threw a tea kettle at my husband this morning. 428 00:18:43,536 --> 00:18:46,103 But I'm sure you guys did fine. 429 00:18:46,172 --> 00:18:48,495 Well, we didn't know that this was a competition. 430 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,908 We would be the perfect parents to this little baby. 431 00:18:50,977 --> 00:18:53,144 We just need more time to prove it to Morgan. 432 00:18:53,213 --> 00:18:54,679 I know how much this means to you, 433 00:18:54,747 --> 00:18:56,514 but, unfortunately, Morgan's catching a bus 434 00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:58,015 back to Modesto today. 435 00:18:58,296 --> 00:18:59,521 The best thing you can do 436 00:18:59,546 --> 00:19:01,018 is be patient and wait. 437 00:19:01,087 --> 00:19:02,453 Ow, she bit me! 438 00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:04,288 All right, it begins. I'm sorry. 439 00:19:29,792 --> 00:19:32,726 Wh-What's up, guys? This is weird. 440 00:19:32,795 --> 00:19:34,828 It's actually the opposite of weird. 441 00:19:34,897 --> 00:19:37,810 I see how you fell into that "actually" trap. 442 00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:38,676 Yep. 443 00:19:38,701 --> 00:19:40,267 Oh. 444 00:19:40,336 --> 00:19:42,314 I'm sorry, do you have beef with my bump or something? 445 00:19:42,338 --> 00:19:43,882 Hey, why don't you come say it to my face, then? 446 00:19:43,906 --> 00:19:45,560 - Why don't you... - So good to see you. 447 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:46,466 Yeah, it's, uh, 448 00:19:46,491 --> 00:19:47,686 - it's good to see you guys, too. - Yeah. 449 00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:49,634 Yeah, our conversation got cut short earlier. 450 00:19:49,659 --> 00:19:51,612 We just didn't get a chance to give you our gift. 451 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,674 - We made you a new lookbook. - Oh. 452 00:19:55,197 --> 00:19:57,289 Wow, this is, um... 453 00:19:57,314 --> 00:19:58,672 I don't get it. This is blank. 454 00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,955 Am I supposed to be, like, blind to read this or something? 455 00:20:00,979 --> 00:20:03,436 No, no, no, no. It's supposed to be blank. 456 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,444 We got to talking about the lookbook 457 00:20:05,469 --> 00:20:06,618 that we gave you before, 458 00:20:06,643 --> 00:20:09,829 and that's just pictures of us before having a baby. 459 00:20:09,854 --> 00:20:11,454 And what we really want you to see 460 00:20:11,479 --> 00:20:13,875 is what our lives are gonna look like with the baby. 461 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:16,600 If you pick us, we will fill that book with amazing photos 462 00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:18,391 of the life that baby will have. 463 00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:21,528 I'm sorry, I really just don't feel comfortable taking this. 464 00:20:22,041 --> 00:20:23,329 - Okay. - Okay. 465 00:20:23,398 --> 00:20:24,942 I don't know, it's just kind of stupid. 466 00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:26,511 You already gave me a lookbook 467 00:20:26,535 --> 00:20:28,935 with you guys as Minions on it, and I loved that. 468 00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:30,980 - You did? - I, uh, 469 00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:32,639 I saw that movie with my dad. 470 00:20:32,707 --> 00:20:34,707 And I don't really have a lot of memories with him, 471 00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:37,677 so that's my favorite one. 472 00:20:37,746 --> 00:20:39,412 That's so sweet. 473 00:20:39,481 --> 00:20:40,976 When I saw you guys dressed up like that, 474 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,872 looking all stupid and stuff, 475 00:20:42,915 --> 00:20:45,766 it kind of just felt like maybe it was a sign or something. 476 00:20:45,937 --> 00:20:48,965 You know, that this whole mess that I got myself into... 477 00:20:49,662 --> 00:20:50,966 maybe it was meant to be, 478 00:20:50,991 --> 00:20:52,751 and that this... 479 00:20:52,795 --> 00:20:54,927 this thing belongs with you. 480 00:20:54,971 --> 00:20:57,843 With us? You're picking us? 481 00:20:57,887 --> 00:20:59,623 Yeah! 482 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,066 - No, no, no. Don't cry. Don't cry. - No. 483 00:21:01,090 --> 00:21:02,254 - We don't... - Okay, yeah. Never. 484 00:21:02,278 --> 00:21:04,169 My bus is gonna leave soon, so I should probably get going. 485 00:21:04,193 --> 00:21:05,953 Maybe I can just move in with you guys on, like, Saturday 486 00:21:05,977 --> 00:21:07,169 - or something like that? - Yeah. 487 00:21:07,193 --> 00:21:09,666 And... crap. My rats can't ride the bus with me. 488 00:21:09,691 --> 00:21:11,589 - Rats. Rats, rats, rats. - It's some sort of legal thing. 489 00:21:11,613 --> 00:21:14,010 But we'll figure that out later. Thank you so much.Yeah. Bye. 490 00:21:14,034 --> 00:21:15,596 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 491 00:21:17,135 --> 00:21:18,773 We're having a baby. 492 00:21:19,674 --> 00:21:21,550 I am so weak for you. 493 00:21:26,045 --> 00:21:31,045 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com -