1 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,030 That was my husband's Ford Galaxy. 2 00:01:14,952 --> 00:01:18,042 We drove Jamie home from the hospital in that car. 3 00:01:19,623 --> 00:01:21,923 My mom was 40 when she had me. 4 00:01:22,376 --> 00:01:24,586 Everyone told her she was too old to be a mother. 5 00:01:25,963 --> 00:01:27,803 I put my hand through the little window, 6 00:01:27,882 --> 00:01:29,132 and he'd squeeze my finger, 7 00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:33,296 and I'd tell him life was very big... 8 00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:35,850 and unknown. 9 00:01:36,682 --> 00:01:38,772 And she told me that there were animals 10 00:01:38,851 --> 00:01:40,771 and sky and cities... 11 00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:43,733 ...music, movies. 12 00:01:44,231 --> 00:01:45,271 He'd fall in love, 13 00:01:46,025 --> 00:01:49,745 have his own children, have passions, have meaning, 14 00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:52,200 have his mom and dad. 15 00:01:53,199 --> 00:01:55,199 When they got divorced, 16 00:01:55,284 --> 00:01:57,624 my father moved back east and left the car with us. 17 00:01:58,788 --> 00:02:00,578 He calls on birthdays and Christmas. 18 00:02:01,957 --> 00:02:05,917 Last time I felt close to him was on my birthday in 1974. 19 00:02:06,837 --> 00:02:09,047 He bought me mirrored sunglasses. 20 00:02:10,382 --> 00:02:13,052 I saw the president fall down the stairs... 21 00:02:14,178 --> 00:02:15,678 and I threw up on the carpet. 22 00:02:19,141 --> 00:02:21,641 Since then it's just been us. 23 00:02:21,727 --> 00:02:23,227 I don't understand. What about you? 24 00:02:23,312 --> 00:02:25,332 I'm staying here with him 'til the plane gets safely away. 25 00:02:25,356 --> 00:02:27,106 No, Richard, no. What has happened to you? 26 00:02:27,191 --> 00:02:29,821 - Last night we... - Last night we said a great many things. 27 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,530 Listen, Captain, I am having a party tonight, 28 00:02:37,618 --> 00:02:38,908 it's my birthday actually, 29 00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:42,253 and I would like you to drop by so I can feed you. 30 00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:43,871 It's not necessary, Mrs. Fields. 31 00:02:43,958 --> 00:02:47,418 No, Dorothea. No, I... I insist. Please? 32 00:02:47,962 --> 00:02:49,752 That way I... I can thank you. 33 00:02:50,631 --> 00:02:52,421 It was a beautiful car. 34 00:02:54,635 --> 00:02:56,395 Mom, it... 35 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,930 smelled like gas and overheated all the time... 36 00:03:00,224 --> 00:03:02,274 and it was just old. 37 00:03:03,644 --> 00:03:04,944 What? 38 00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:09,525 Well it wasn't always old. 39 00:03:09,859 --> 00:03:11,529 It just got that way all of a sudden. 40 00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:13,318 You know... 41 00:03:14,238 --> 00:03:15,658 when the firemen come... 42 00:03:16,949 --> 00:03:19,529 people don't usually invite them over for dinner. 43 00:03:21,829 --> 00:03:23,329 Yeah? Why not? 44 00:03:37,136 --> 00:03:39,256 Why can't she just move on and be happy with me 45 00:03:39,346 --> 00:03:42,846 rather than... lingering on him? 46 00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:45,523 My mom just makes me feel like I'm not good enough. 47 00:03:46,145 --> 00:03:48,615 It's just, I'm constantly being compared to my dad. 48 00:04:45,788 --> 00:04:48,288 Oh, hey, sorry. 49 00:04:49,917 --> 00:04:52,247 Uh, Jamie's not here right now. 50 00:05:10,813 --> 00:05:12,363 They're not home. 51 00:05:13,399 --> 00:05:15,439 Don't. 52 00:05:17,069 --> 00:05:19,949 I'm taking a picture of everything that happens to me in a day. 53 00:05:21,573 --> 00:05:23,783 I don't like having my pictures taken. 54 00:05:24,451 --> 00:05:26,451 I didn't happen to you. 55 00:05:34,378 --> 00:05:35,918 Hello? 56 00:05:36,588 --> 00:05:38,208 - Hey. - Hi. 57 00:05:38,298 --> 00:05:39,838 Hi. Here. 58 00:05:41,635 --> 00:05:44,435 - You okay? - You aren't gonna believe what happened. 59 00:05:44,513 --> 00:05:45,563 What? 60 00:05:45,889 --> 00:05:48,019 Our car burst into flames in the parking lot. 61 00:05:48,434 --> 00:05:50,234 - It wh... - Seriously? 62 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:51,350 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 63 00:05:51,478 --> 00:05:52,518 You know, we're okay. 64 00:05:52,813 --> 00:05:54,733 - How did it happen? - Well I don't know. 65 00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:57,400 They... they said it was probably just something electrical. 66 00:05:57,484 --> 00:06:01,204 We walked out and it was just sitting there... on fire. 67 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,360 Oh, man. 68 00:06:03,157 --> 00:06:05,367 - Yeah. - I'm sorry. 69 00:06:07,411 --> 00:06:10,371 So... what happened? 70 00:06:11,081 --> 00:06:13,831 They never tell you anything, I... They won't... 71 00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:16,207 I won't know anything for like a week. 72 00:06:16,295 --> 00:06:17,635 Oh. 73 00:06:20,049 --> 00:06:22,679 And I'm... I'm gonna be late on rent. 74 00:06:23,427 --> 00:06:25,217 That's okay. Don't worry about that. 75 00:06:26,096 --> 00:06:27,346 Thanks. 76 00:06:36,148 --> 00:06:37,438 Oh, God. 77 00:06:41,403 --> 00:06:42,863 What if you had been in the car? 78 00:06:43,572 --> 00:06:46,452 I wouldn't be here. 79 00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:49,289 You would've missed me? 80 00:06:53,624 --> 00:06:54,674 Don't joke. 81 00:07:07,763 --> 00:07:11,643 It was so much easier before you got all horny. 82 00:07:16,188 --> 00:07:18,478 It... it's not like you don't... 83 00:07:19,525 --> 00:07:20,695 Do it? 84 00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:28,575 Friends can't have sex and still be friends. 85 00:07:30,452 --> 00:07:33,372 I like us like we are, okay? 86 00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:39,458 Okay. 87 00:07:40,671 --> 00:07:41,711 Jamie! 88 00:07:42,131 --> 00:07:44,421 Could you come help me set up, please? 89 00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,264 Can my mom just chill out? 90 00:07:48,262 --> 00:07:50,722 She's compensating for her loneliness. 91 00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:55,640 Dorothea, all that is really beautiful molding there. 92 00:07:55,727 --> 00:07:57,622 - It is. - I want to continue that around the side. 93 00:07:57,646 --> 00:07:59,476 Right so we're gonna have to re-match that. 94 00:07:59,565 --> 00:08:01,365 Now is that... is that actually wood... 95 00:08:01,441 --> 00:08:02,941 - That is wood. - or is that plaster? 96 00:08:03,026 --> 00:08:04,526 No, the plaster is underneath it. 97 00:08:04,611 --> 00:08:06,361 The molding on the outside there is wood. 98 00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:07,566 - So... - Okay. 99 00:08:07,656 --> 00:08:08,758 It's gonna take a little bit of time, but... 100 00:08:08,782 --> 00:08:09,822 Well, we've got... 101 00:08:10,576 --> 00:08:11,616 Okay, no, it's good. 102 00:08:11,702 --> 00:08:14,832 Actually, it was, it was built in 1905, 103 00:08:14,913 --> 00:08:16,413 and the same family had it forever, 104 00:08:16,498 --> 00:08:18,618 but they lost all their money during the war, 105 00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:20,214 and then there was a fire and... 106 00:08:20,836 --> 00:08:22,336 You should've been here for that. 107 00:08:22,421 --> 00:08:25,721 Anyway, so, it was just a mess. They let it fall apart. 108 00:08:25,799 --> 00:08:28,219 Then a bohemian inherited it in the '60s, 109 00:08:28,427 --> 00:08:31,297 then a bunch of free spirits moved in, and they lost it to the bank. 110 00:08:31,388 --> 00:08:32,428 It's beautiful. 111 00:08:32,598 --> 00:08:34,468 Oh, I... I completely fell in love with it. 112 00:08:34,641 --> 00:08:36,881 We're connected to the dirt 'cause we came from the dirt. 113 00:08:36,935 --> 00:08:40,565 The dirt is made of stars and stardust, in the same way we are, 114 00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:45,437 so when you put your hands into that dirt 115 00:08:45,736 --> 00:08:47,816 and feel the Earth Mother... 116 00:08:51,658 --> 00:08:52,828 - Uh, William? - Mm-hmm? 117 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,700 It looks as though I'm gonna be in need of a car. 118 00:08:55,787 --> 00:08:58,407 Do you think you have something for me out there, cheap? 119 00:08:58,832 --> 00:09:01,042 Maybe that '49 Deluxe? 120 00:09:01,126 --> 00:09:03,706 I think we can work something out. 121 00:09:03,795 --> 00:09:05,765 Maybe we'll trade for rent or something. 122 00:09:06,548 --> 00:09:08,588 - Thank you. - Sure. 123 00:09:10,302 --> 00:09:12,182 Okay. Got through that one. 124 00:09:13,138 --> 00:09:14,258 All right. Just, um... 125 00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:16,680 give me a minute and then come out. 126 00:09:47,089 --> 00:09:49,589 My mom was born in 1924. 127 00:09:50,467 --> 00:09:53,467 When she was my age people drove in sad cars 128 00:09:53,553 --> 00:09:58,773 to sad houses with old phones, no money, or food, or televisions... 129 00:09:59,851 --> 00:10:01,731 but the people were real. 130 00:10:02,521 --> 00:10:03,811 When she was 16, 131 00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:06,476 the war broke out and she had to leave school. 132 00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:09,317 Her dream was to be a pilot in the Air Force. 133 00:10:10,737 --> 00:10:12,447 She actually went to flight school. 134 00:10:12,864 --> 00:10:15,324 But the war ended before she was done. 135 00:10:16,618 --> 00:10:18,038 She became the first woman to work 136 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,330 in the Continental Can Company drafting room. 137 00:10:22,082 --> 00:10:24,082 Then she met my dad... 138 00:10:24,835 --> 00:10:26,095 and then I came. 139 00:10:27,129 --> 00:10:28,879 Then they got divorced. 140 00:10:29,923 --> 00:10:33,763 But people from her time never admit anything went wrong. 141 00:10:34,761 --> 00:10:36,761 - What do you mean? - I'm sorry. 142 00:10:36,847 --> 00:10:40,217 He's too young to have an account in his name only, little guy. 143 00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:42,137 No. He... he's a person. 144 00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:45,437 He's not half a person, and he's not some cute little guy. 145 00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:48,692 He has volition and autonomy and privacy. 146 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,030 He needs a bank account. 147 00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:52,186 Can you do that for us? 148 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,780 Now, Jamie, you can't just keep skipping school and making excuses. 149 00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:59,537 Well wait a minute, why not? Why can't he just skip school 150 00:11:00,370 --> 00:11:03,790 if he... if he has a legitimate need to be away? 151 00:11:04,124 --> 00:11:06,584 Well, then I need a legitimate real note from you... 152 00:11:07,002 --> 00:11:08,842 - Okay. - with your real signature. 153 00:11:08,962 --> 00:11:12,922 Wow, how did you forge my signature so well? 154 00:11:13,884 --> 00:11:15,384 That is ingenious! 155 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,010 But you should never forge someone's signature 156 00:11:19,139 --> 00:11:20,969 or do anything behind someone's back. 157 00:11:22,434 --> 00:11:24,604 Please excuse Jamie from school this morning. 158 00:11:24,686 --> 00:11:28,016 He was doing volunteer work for the Sandinistas. 159 00:11:28,565 --> 00:11:30,485 Please excuse Jamie from school this morning. 160 00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:32,567 He was involved in a small plane accident. 161 00:11:32,819 --> 00:11:34,989 Fortunately, he was not hurt. 162 00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:38,739 You're gonna be in for a legendary surprise. 163 00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:40,125 It's mahogany underneath. 164 00:11:40,327 --> 00:11:42,907 She's always trying to bring a man into my life. 165 00:11:42,996 --> 00:11:44,786 This is probably Honduran mahogany. 166 00:11:45,457 --> 00:11:46,497 Really fine, very... 167 00:11:46,875 --> 00:11:49,845 - This is, like, really, really boring. - Hey, come on, watch it. 168 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:51,522 He's talking about, like, wood and stuff. 169 00:11:51,546 --> 00:11:53,666 He's helping me out. Restore the house, okay? 170 00:11:53,757 --> 00:11:54,797 IBM? 171 00:11:55,217 --> 00:11:56,819 She writes down her stocks every morning. 172 00:11:56,843 --> 00:11:58,393 Two-hundred and thirteen point two. 173 00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:00,472 GE? 174 00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,641 Um, 51.62. 175 00:12:03,892 --> 00:12:05,942 She smokes Salems because they're healthier, 176 00:12:06,019 --> 00:12:08,399 wears Birkenstocks because she's contemporary. 177 00:12:09,606 --> 00:12:10,726 She read Watership Down 178 00:12:10,816 --> 00:12:13,606 and learned how to carve rabbits out of wood. 179 00:12:14,986 --> 00:12:17,446 And she never dates a man for very long. 180 00:12:19,116 --> 00:12:20,616 Thank you, bye bye. 181 00:12:20,867 --> 00:12:22,367 Good night, Dorothea. 182 00:12:22,744 --> 00:12:24,414 - Good night. - Bye. 183 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:25,870 So, I'll see ya later. 184 00:12:26,915 --> 00:12:28,815 Just don't hang out with that Chris guy anymore, okay? 185 00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:30,884 - Good night. - He's a skeez and he's kinda dumb. 186 00:12:30,961 --> 00:12:32,921 - Exactly. - Good night, Dorothea. 187 00:12:33,797 --> 00:12:35,877 - Happy Birthday. - Bye, Julie. 188 00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:39,935 Stop. 189 00:12:40,137 --> 00:12:41,637 What? 190 00:12:43,849 --> 00:12:45,889 Thinking that you know everything that's going on. 191 00:12:45,976 --> 00:12:48,436 No, I don... I just think that, you know, 192 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:51,810 having your heart broken is a tremendous way to learn about the world. 193 00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:58,152 Okay. 194 00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:03,580 Do you think you're happy? 195 00:13:04,703 --> 00:13:05,793 Like... 196 00:13:07,164 --> 00:13:09,794 as happy as you thought you'd be when you were my age? 197 00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:11,916 Seriously? 198 00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:14,127 You don't ask people questions like that. 199 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,420 You're my mom. 200 00:13:19,676 --> 00:13:20,716 Especially your mom. 201 00:13:21,136 --> 00:13:22,636 Look, wondering if you're happy 202 00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:24,892 is a great shortcut to just being depressed. 203 00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:26,310 Give me that. 204 00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:10,020 What is that? 205 00:14:10,894 --> 00:14:12,814 It's The Raincoats. 206 00:14:19,319 --> 00:14:21,859 Can't things... just be pretty? 207 00:14:23,532 --> 00:14:27,242 "Pretty" music is used to hide how unfair and corrupt society is. 208 00:14:28,161 --> 00:14:29,831 Ah. 209 00:14:32,123 --> 00:14:33,173 Okay, so... 210 00:14:34,084 --> 00:14:37,004 they're not very good, and they know that, right? 211 00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:39,090 Yeah, it's... 212 00:14:39,923 --> 00:14:41,923 It's like they got all this, this feeling, 213 00:14:42,509 --> 00:14:44,889 and they don't have any skill, and they don't want skill, 214 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:46,470 because it's really interesting 215 00:14:46,555 --> 00:14:51,185 what happens when your passion is bigger than the tools 216 00:14:51,268 --> 00:14:52,978 you have to deal with it. 217 00:14:53,103 --> 00:14:57,443 It creates this energy that's... that's... that's raw. 218 00:14:58,233 --> 00:14:59,983 Isn't it great? 219 00:15:17,294 --> 00:15:20,964 My son was born in 1964. 220 00:15:24,259 --> 00:15:26,589 He grew up with a meaningless war... 221 00:15:27,512 --> 00:15:31,272 with protests, with Nixon... 222 00:15:32,392 --> 00:15:34,692 with nice cars and nice houses... 223 00:15:35,270 --> 00:15:39,900 computers, drugs, boredom. 224 00:15:44,237 --> 00:15:47,197 I know him less every day. 225 00:15:52,746 --> 00:15:55,036 He said it was just a game. 226 00:15:55,999 --> 00:15:57,789 You breathe real hard and another kid 227 00:16:06,009 --> 00:16:09,219 He said you're supposed to come to a few seconds later... 228 00:16:09,304 --> 00:16:10,894 - Dude, can I try? - Yeah. 229 00:16:10,972 --> 00:16:15,392 but it took Jamie almost a half an hour to wake up. 230 00:16:29,449 --> 00:16:30,489 Going to get help! 231 00:16:48,218 --> 00:16:50,138 - You all right? - He's fine. 232 00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:57,060 Can you tell me your name? 233 00:16:58,520 --> 00:16:59,560 Jamie Fields. 234 00:17:18,832 --> 00:17:19,962 You got lucky this time. 235 00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:23,287 Lack of oxygen to the brain can cause brain damage, 236 00:17:24,003 --> 00:17:25,923 comas... even death. 237 00:17:31,261 --> 00:17:35,931 Jamie, why would you do something so dangerous? 238 00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,520 I don't know. Um... 239 00:17:41,312 --> 00:17:43,192 I mean, everyone was doing it. 240 00:17:44,816 --> 00:17:46,186 So you just went along with it? 241 00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:49,280 - It looked like fun. - That's just dumb. 242 00:17:49,362 --> 00:17:51,162 Why would you do something so stupid? 243 00:17:51,614 --> 00:17:52,664 Just following along? 244 00:17:53,283 --> 00:17:55,913 You... you know you almost died, right? 245 00:17:56,077 --> 00:17:58,747 - You don't need to worry about me. - Why didn't you think? 246 00:17:59,789 --> 00:18:01,579 Jamie! Hey! 247 00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:05,133 Jamie... 248 00:18:05,962 --> 00:18:08,462 What... what is going on? What, why... 249 00:18:09,507 --> 00:18:12,007 What? You're not gonna talk to me now? 250 00:18:14,387 --> 00:18:15,927 I'm not the one who doesn't talk. 251 00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,349 What? Come on. 252 00:18:19,058 --> 00:18:21,268 You scared the hell out of me! 253 00:18:22,228 --> 00:18:24,188 Why... why did you hurt yourself like that? 254 00:18:24,564 --> 00:18:26,234 Why do you smoke yourself to death? 255 00:18:26,399 --> 00:18:27,689 Hey! 256 00:18:28,693 --> 00:18:32,113 Why are you fine being sad and alone? 257 00:18:34,199 --> 00:18:35,239 I, uh... 258 00:18:35,784 --> 00:18:39,544 I... You... You c... 259 00:18:40,038 --> 00:18:41,718 You can't talk to me like that. We don't... 260 00:18:41,748 --> 00:18:43,828 You don't say that to me. 261 00:18:54,302 --> 00:18:56,932 ♪ This day and age we're living in ♪ 262 00:18:57,013 --> 00:18:59,433 ♪ Gives cause for apprehension ♪ 263 00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,926 ♪ With speed and new invention ♪ 264 00:19:02,185 --> 00:19:04,315 ♪ And things like third dimension ♪ 265 00:19:04,395 --> 00:19:07,115 ♪ Yet we get a trifle weary ♪ 266 00:19:07,398 --> 00:19:09,978 ♪ With Mr. Einstein's theory ♪ 267 00:19:10,318 --> 00:19:13,028 ♪ So we must get down to Earth at times ♪ 268 00:19:14,197 --> 00:19:17,157 ♪ Relax, relieve the tension ♪ 269 00:19:17,283 --> 00:19:19,663 ♪ No matter what the progress ♪ 270 00:19:19,786 --> 00:19:21,996 ♪ Or what may yet be proved ♪ 271 00:19:22,497 --> 00:19:25,497 ♪ The simple facts of life are such ♪ 272 00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:30,095 ♪ They cannot be removed ♪ 273 00:19:35,134 --> 00:19:37,594 ♪ You must remember this ♪ 274 00:19:37,846 --> 00:19:40,136 ♪ A kiss is still a kiss... ♪ 275 00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:42,720 I think history has been tough on men. 276 00:19:43,101 --> 00:19:44,811 I mean, they can't be what they were, 277 00:19:45,186 --> 00:19:47,016 and they can't figure out what's next. 278 00:19:47,355 --> 00:19:48,615 What are we talking about? 279 00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:49,730 Men? 280 00:19:50,191 --> 00:19:52,111 I think history and men? 281 00:19:52,193 --> 00:19:54,493 I mean who are your heroes nowadays? 282 00:19:54,737 --> 00:19:56,447 A bunch of privileged drug addicts? 283 00:19:56,573 --> 00:19:59,243 I think maybe you guys can help me with Jamie. 284 00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:02,294 I think... he needs help... 285 00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:06,539 in figuring out how to be himself in all this mess. 286 00:20:06,749 --> 00:20:08,459 And I can't be there. 287 00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:11,710 I can't be there with him. I have to let go. 288 00:20:12,422 --> 00:20:14,592 Is this because of the fainting thing? 289 00:20:14,716 --> 00:20:16,336 - He's fine. - No. 290 00:20:16,718 --> 00:20:18,258 It's because of everything. 291 00:20:20,305 --> 00:20:22,515 I don't understand what... What are you asking? 292 00:20:23,474 --> 00:20:24,814 Well, how do you be a good man? 293 00:20:26,352 --> 00:20:28,272 What does that even mean nowadays? 294 00:20:29,397 --> 00:20:31,057 He's... he's only got me. It's just... 295 00:20:31,858 --> 00:20:33,688 Think about it. It's not enough. 296 00:20:33,943 --> 00:20:35,693 - You're serious? - Yeah. 297 00:20:35,778 --> 00:20:38,488 What about William? William's a guy. That's... 298 00:20:38,573 --> 00:20:41,283 He can talk to him about guy things. 299 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,237 Have you ever seen them have a conversation? 300 00:20:43,328 --> 00:20:45,368 They have nothing in common. They don't connect. 301 00:20:45,455 --> 00:20:47,795 It's just not working. I mean, I thought about that. 302 00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:48,997 He... 303 00:20:50,251 --> 00:20:53,341 Well, he likes you and you. He likes you a lot. 304 00:20:53,755 --> 00:20:55,025 - That... that's... - He's my friend. 305 00:20:55,048 --> 00:20:56,338 I don't want to be his mom. 306 00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:58,840 Yeah, no. I'm his mom. 307 00:20:59,469 --> 00:21:03,219 I mean don't you need a man to raise a man? 308 00:21:04,766 --> 00:21:06,346 No. I don't think so. 309 00:21:07,268 --> 00:21:08,308 I mean, 310 00:21:08,603 --> 00:21:11,523 I think you're what's gonna work for him. 311 00:21:15,151 --> 00:21:18,861 I mean... you know him better than anyone. 312 00:21:19,155 --> 00:21:21,455 You know that, and... 313 00:21:21,532 --> 00:21:25,202 you care about him. You can watch out for him. 314 00:21:25,411 --> 00:21:30,171 And you just share your life. You're a talented person. 315 00:21:30,291 --> 00:21:31,691 Show him what you're interested in. 316 00:21:31,751 --> 00:21:33,631 You know, he would be lucky to have that. 317 00:21:52,105 --> 00:21:53,155 Help me with what? 318 00:21:53,564 --> 00:21:56,364 Oh, go through this part of your life. 319 00:21:56,442 --> 00:21:58,402 It's not easy. It's not easy for anybody. 320 00:21:59,821 --> 00:22:01,451 - You asked them to help me? - Yeah. 321 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,410 No, they... they get it. 322 00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:07,335 So they said yes? 323 00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:08,948 Yeah. 324 00:22:09,372 --> 00:22:10,752 - Fuck. - Hey! 325 00:22:11,874 --> 00:22:14,634 You just feel guilty 'cause it's just me and you. 326 00:22:17,630 --> 00:22:19,170 You don't know what I'm feeling. 327 00:22:20,258 --> 00:22:21,338 Just tell me. 328 00:22:22,218 --> 00:22:24,338 Kid... 329 00:22:24,429 --> 00:22:27,679 You never tell me what you're gonna do. You just do it. 330 00:22:43,322 --> 00:22:45,322 I got the keys to my stepmom's car. 331 00:22:45,408 --> 00:22:47,448 I'm going to The Starwood. 332 00:22:47,535 --> 00:22:50,795 Tanya and Michelle are both gonna be there. 333 00:22:51,122 --> 00:22:52,292 Hey, you guys going to LA? 334 00:22:53,458 --> 00:22:55,578 Yeah, I am. 335 00:22:57,170 --> 00:22:58,210 Can I come? 336 00:23:00,048 --> 00:23:02,418 ...kissed a girl? Are you ready? 337 00:23:03,301 --> 00:23:05,841 Are you gonna... are you gonna get with some chick there? 338 00:23:29,494 --> 00:23:30,794 That was Jamie. 339 00:23:31,537 --> 00:23:34,037 He is in, uh, LA. 340 00:23:34,332 --> 00:23:36,882 He and some friends went to a show. 341 00:23:38,503 --> 00:23:41,513 - Oh. - Yeah. He wanted me to tell you. 342 00:23:42,590 --> 00:23:44,010 Okay. 343 00:23:52,433 --> 00:23:54,103 Aren't you worried or... 344 00:23:57,396 --> 00:23:59,896 He's mad at me and this is his way of dealing with it... 345 00:24:01,234 --> 00:24:03,284 and he has every right to be mad. 346 00:24:05,363 --> 00:24:06,993 Yeah, but if it makes him this mad, 347 00:24:07,198 --> 00:24:09,568 then maybe it wasn't a good idea. 348 00:24:16,290 --> 00:24:18,830 ♪ Got television, got supervision ♪ 349 00:24:18,918 --> 00:24:20,498 ♪ No decisions for you ♪ 350 00:24:20,711 --> 00:24:24,301 ♪ Media blitz, media blitz, media hits, we rule ♪ 351 00:24:30,304 --> 00:24:32,064 ♪ Don't steal your eyes off the TV screen ♪ 352 00:24:32,140 --> 00:24:33,850 ♪ Can you realize we're what we've seen? ♪ 353 00:24:33,933 --> 00:24:37,643 ♪ Take an injection... ♪ 354 00:24:46,529 --> 00:24:48,029 Maybe... 355 00:24:48,781 --> 00:24:50,531 Maybe I did the wrong thing. 356 00:24:51,993 --> 00:24:53,703 Oh, I... 357 00:24:54,662 --> 00:24:56,202 - With the kid, I mean. - Yeah, I know. 358 00:24:56,289 --> 00:24:59,249 I think that Jamie's energy is very... 359 00:25:01,836 --> 00:25:03,456 unstable. 360 00:25:05,673 --> 00:25:07,173 Yeah. Well, you're right. 361 00:25:07,258 --> 00:25:08,838 Then, though, there's an energy crisis. 362 00:25:08,926 --> 00:25:14,006 Maybe that plays into it in some way. 363 00:25:15,850 --> 00:25:17,520 I'm sorry. 364 00:25:19,187 --> 00:25:21,857 You don't have very many funny lines, do you? 365 00:25:25,443 --> 00:25:26,693 Okay. 366 00:25:54,555 --> 00:25:55,605 Jamie? 367 00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:06,075 Jamie? 368 00:26:29,674 --> 00:26:30,764 Hey. 369 00:26:31,509 --> 00:26:32,759 Hey. 370 00:26:33,719 --> 00:26:35,719 - Everything okay? - Yeah. 371 00:26:36,472 --> 00:26:37,682 Can I come in? 372 00:26:38,975 --> 00:26:40,185 Sure. 373 00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:46,730 So I had this new idea for... for my photography 374 00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:51,486 that I was gonna take a picture of everything that I owned 375 00:26:51,570 --> 00:26:56,780 so it would be a self-portrait of myself through the stuff that I have. 376 00:27:00,705 --> 00:27:01,755 Can I show you? 377 00:27:02,248 --> 00:27:06,038 That's a bra, birth control, 378 00:27:06,711 --> 00:27:11,511 um, photography by Susan Sontag, shoes, underwear, 379 00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:13,800 a picture of a picture of my mom. 380 00:27:14,927 --> 00:27:17,137 I'm gonna do a bunch of 'em. 381 00:27:18,764 --> 00:27:21,984 It's a little bit... It's a little bit sad. 382 00:27:26,105 --> 00:27:27,775 You know, all this stuff together. 383 00:27:29,025 --> 00:27:30,865 I don't know why that is. 384 00:27:32,111 --> 00:27:33,151 Not... I mean... 385 00:27:33,904 --> 00:27:35,324 Do you know what I mean? 386 00:27:36,532 --> 00:27:38,332 It's really beautiful, Abbie. 387 00:27:39,201 --> 00:27:42,831 Do you want to fool around... with me? 388 00:27:45,082 --> 00:27:46,422 Really? 389 00:27:47,918 --> 00:27:49,168 Yeah. 390 00:27:52,381 --> 00:27:53,801 Yeah. 391 00:27:55,301 --> 00:27:56,721 I do. 392 00:28:00,556 --> 00:28:03,846 You know, I'm recovering from cervical cancer. 393 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:08,730 I know. 394 00:28:25,581 --> 00:28:27,501 Your hair smells good. 395 00:28:31,629 --> 00:28:33,169 I make my own shampoo. 396 00:28:34,423 --> 00:28:35,883 Of course you do. 397 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:05,160 Oh. 398 00:29:05,412 --> 00:29:08,002 It's okay, Jeeves, he's back. 399 00:29:08,082 --> 00:29:10,042 You can relax now. 400 00:29:22,930 --> 00:29:24,430 Where were you? 401 00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:26,681 I went to The Starwood. 402 00:29:27,476 --> 00:29:31,436 Saw a show in LA. Had a lot of fun. 403 00:29:33,107 --> 00:29:34,147 Are you drunk? 404 00:29:42,825 --> 00:29:44,125 Don't. 405 00:29:48,372 --> 00:29:49,662 What's wrong? 406 00:29:52,543 --> 00:29:54,543 Tim Trammer came inside me. 407 00:29:58,883 --> 00:30:01,013 I don't want to hear this shit. 408 00:30:02,803 --> 00:30:05,723 We broke into that old pool at the rec center. 409 00:30:05,806 --> 00:30:07,596 Got loaded. 410 00:30:08,642 --> 00:30:10,142 Fucked around. 411 00:30:12,229 --> 00:30:14,899 And me and Tim ended up in his mom's Maverick. 412 00:30:21,864 --> 00:30:23,074 Did you just cum? 413 00:30:24,116 --> 00:30:25,736 Yeah. 414 00:30:27,953 --> 00:30:29,583 You said you'd pull out. 415 00:30:32,499 --> 00:30:33,999 Yeah. 416 00:30:34,418 --> 00:30:35,998 Sorry. 417 00:30:38,005 --> 00:30:39,885 I thought we had a deal there. 418 00:30:42,593 --> 00:30:43,933 Fuck. 419 00:30:46,972 --> 00:30:48,722 What are you gonna do? 420 00:30:52,561 --> 00:30:54,231 It'll be fine. 421 00:31:10,996 --> 00:31:13,826 Your mom asked me to, like, help raise you. 422 00:31:17,378 --> 00:31:19,338 Yeah, I know. 423 00:31:21,882 --> 00:31:23,512 She was raised in The Depression. 424 00:31:24,426 --> 00:31:25,966 Everyone helped raise everyone. 425 00:31:26,345 --> 00:31:28,725 You know, the whole neighborhood raised the kids. 426 00:31:30,015 --> 00:31:31,605 Sorry. 427 00:31:34,937 --> 00:31:35,977 Can we do therapy? 428 00:31:37,064 --> 00:31:39,364 Jesus, I don't want to do therapy right now. 429 00:31:39,441 --> 00:31:40,981 - Let's just role play. - Please, no. 430 00:31:41,068 --> 00:31:44,148 I'll be your mom, and you can tell her what you want to tell her. 431 00:31:44,571 --> 00:31:45,861 Just do it. 432 00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:49,094 I don't want to talk to my mom right now. 433 00:31:49,118 --> 00:31:50,158 What would you say to her? 434 00:31:53,163 --> 00:31:54,833 Okay. 435 00:31:59,086 --> 00:32:01,376 I don't need your help, Mom. 436 00:32:02,464 --> 00:32:04,094 I've got it. 437 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,090 I'm okay. 438 00:32:09,930 --> 00:32:12,850 Um, I'm gonna need a story. 439 00:32:13,309 --> 00:32:14,349 What? 440 00:32:14,810 --> 00:32:15,850 A story. 441 00:32:16,312 --> 00:32:18,102 - What do you mean? - Like a... a story. 442 00:32:19,064 --> 00:32:20,114 Um... where... I'm... 443 00:32:25,070 --> 00:32:27,360 I'm just a normal woman, 444 00:32:28,198 --> 00:32:30,618 and you're a photographer, 445 00:32:30,993 --> 00:32:35,203 and so you're photographing me, but while you're doing it... 446 00:32:36,957 --> 00:32:40,837 you can't help yourself, and you start touching me. 447 00:32:41,837 --> 00:32:45,047 And you touch me... 448 00:32:46,133 --> 00:32:52,723 and you say... "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." 449 00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,270 Really? 450 00:32:57,728 --> 00:32:59,728 I can't just be myself? 451 00:33:03,525 --> 00:33:04,945 No. 452 00:33:06,570 --> 00:33:07,964 Okay, so... Do I just, uh... - Okay. 453 00:33:07,988 --> 00:33:09,448 Hey, nice to meet you. - Oh, Hi. 454 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,950 Do I just look in the camera, or should I look... off to the side? 455 00:33:14,036 --> 00:33:16,076 Let's start that way, looking in the camera. 456 00:33:16,163 --> 00:33:17,213 Okay. Should I smile? 457 00:33:18,082 --> 00:33:19,462 - Do you like to smile? - Yeah. 458 00:33:20,167 --> 00:33:22,087 - Okay. - Okay. 459 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:23,960 Uh, oh, you took it. 460 00:33:24,254 --> 00:33:26,024 I thought you were gonna say like, "One, two, three..." 461 00:33:26,048 --> 00:33:27,088 - No. - Okay. 462 00:33:27,341 --> 00:33:29,011 - I just wait for the moment. - Okay. 463 00:33:29,134 --> 00:33:30,934 - I just have to fix something. - Okay. 464 00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:32,760 - Just right here. - Um, oh. 465 00:33:33,514 --> 00:33:35,434 - I'm sorry. - Oh, God. No, it's all right. 466 00:33:35,516 --> 00:33:38,976 I don't mind. I'm just... Never done this before. 467 00:33:39,061 --> 00:33:44,441 I, um, so I'm just a little bit nervous, but, um, I can, um, 468 00:33:44,525 --> 00:33:47,115 wear my hair differently if you want. - Abbie... 469 00:33:48,904 --> 00:33:50,204 Yeah? 470 00:33:52,533 --> 00:33:54,163 I'm sorry. 471 00:33:59,206 --> 00:34:00,996 I'm really sorry. 472 00:34:18,684 --> 00:34:22,024 Julie and I have been friends since we were little. 473 00:34:26,108 --> 00:34:28,648 She likes to say she's self-destructive. 474 00:34:30,487 --> 00:34:31,697 Her mother is a therapist. 475 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:33,279 We used to talk and I... 476 00:34:34,324 --> 00:34:37,454 had a better sense of what was going on with you. I worry that... 477 00:34:38,078 --> 00:34:40,868 She makes Julie attend her teen group sessions. 478 00:34:40,956 --> 00:34:42,326 How about the possibility... 479 00:34:43,959 --> 00:34:46,629 that you're choosing boys who are inappropriate... 480 00:34:47,087 --> 00:34:48,127 unconsciously? 481 00:34:49,631 --> 00:34:51,591 When her mother remarried, Julie changed. 482 00:34:51,675 --> 00:34:53,195 I love this shirt! Don't get me wrong... 483 00:34:53,218 --> 00:34:54,548 When her half-sister Amanda 484 00:34:54,636 --> 00:34:58,056 was born with cerebral palsy, she changed more. 485 00:35:00,142 --> 00:35:01,812 Wow, it looks really pretty on you. 486 00:35:02,227 --> 00:35:05,017 Brings... Just... just makes your whole face pop. 487 00:35:05,856 --> 00:35:06,896 Like soda. Like pop. 488 00:35:17,284 --> 00:35:19,454 She started fooling around. 489 00:35:21,288 --> 00:35:23,458 She started sneaking into my house. 490 00:35:24,625 --> 00:35:26,135 Sleeping over. 491 00:35:27,628 --> 00:35:28,788 Why'd you do it? 492 00:35:29,254 --> 00:35:30,674 'Cause I'm crazy. 493 00:35:33,592 --> 00:35:35,382 You wish you were crazy. 494 00:35:39,473 --> 00:35:41,023 Scratch me. 495 00:35:44,394 --> 00:35:46,904 We should go up the coast somewhere. 496 00:35:48,315 --> 00:35:49,365 Just me and you. 497 00:35:52,236 --> 00:35:55,026 Julie works at the La Cumbre Plaza mall. 498 00:35:55,113 --> 00:36:00,163 Spring Rain features cinnamon, jasmine, lily of the valley and rose. 499 00:36:01,537 --> 00:36:03,157 "Sex is a commitment. 500 00:36:03,247 --> 00:36:05,617 Once you're there, you can't go back to holding hands, 501 00:36:05,707 --> 00:36:08,497 and when you give yourself, both mentally and physically, 502 00:36:08,752 --> 00:36:10,382 well, you're completely vulnerable." 503 00:36:10,462 --> 00:36:13,172 All he cares about is his new wife, and her birthday, 504 00:36:13,632 --> 00:36:15,472 and Christmas with her and her family, 505 00:36:16,677 --> 00:36:19,007 and inviting all of her family to our... 506 00:36:19,096 --> 00:36:24,636 Spring Rain features cinnamon, jasmine, lily of the valley and rose. 507 00:36:26,061 --> 00:36:28,271 "Of all the misconceptions about love, 508 00:36:28,355 --> 00:36:29,985 the most powerful and persuasive 509 00:36:30,315 --> 00:36:32,325 is the belief that falling in love is love, 510 00:36:34,278 --> 00:36:36,988 or at least one of the manifestations of love." 511 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:40,620 Love is supposed to be a feeling that you feel. 512 00:36:41,076 --> 00:36:44,946 People say that they're falling in love, but they're not actually falling in love. 513 00:36:46,248 --> 00:36:48,748 It's a fake connection that you feel with someone... 514 00:36:49,376 --> 00:36:51,206 and marriage should never happen. 515 00:36:51,628 --> 00:36:55,128 You should have died. It should have been you! 516 00:36:56,425 --> 00:36:57,475 Die! 517 00:37:40,427 --> 00:37:41,467 Hey, Julie. 518 00:37:42,262 --> 00:37:44,062 - Hey. - Hi. 519 00:37:44,806 --> 00:37:47,596 So come on in. It's okay. Come in. 520 00:37:48,310 --> 00:37:51,270 He's not up yet. He, uh... - Yeah. 521 00:37:51,355 --> 00:37:52,565 Yeah, he got in kinda late. 522 00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:55,440 Okay, you wanna help me bring this stuff in? 523 00:38:01,365 --> 00:38:03,535 So is, uh, Jamie okay? 524 00:38:03,825 --> 00:38:06,295 Yeah, he's okay. 525 00:38:07,454 --> 00:38:09,294 Yeah, I... I heard him come in last night. 526 00:38:09,664 --> 00:38:11,464 - Oh. - I was... I was awake. 527 00:38:12,292 --> 00:38:13,332 Right. 528 00:38:13,543 --> 00:38:16,843 Yeah, I was just... Couldn't sleep, so I was... 529 00:38:18,590 --> 00:38:20,760 you know, listening for him. 530 00:38:35,065 --> 00:38:36,445 How was the show? 531 00:38:37,442 --> 00:38:38,732 It was good. 532 00:38:39,861 --> 00:38:42,821 Next time you take a trip just let me know, okay? 533 00:38:42,906 --> 00:38:45,316 I won't make too much dinner. 534 00:38:54,376 --> 00:38:56,376 Hey, do the stocks with me? 535 00:38:59,673 --> 00:39:00,883 Here. 536 00:39:06,263 --> 00:39:07,893 Okay. IBM? 537 00:39:10,058 --> 00:39:12,938 IBM, 69.73. 538 00:39:13,478 --> 00:39:16,478 Xerox? You okay? 539 00:39:19,109 --> 00:39:21,399 Xerox, 53.92. 540 00:39:21,486 --> 00:39:22,526 - Stop. - Okay. 541 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,570 Fifty-three point nine two. 542 00:39:26,366 --> 00:39:27,406 Listen. 543 00:39:27,534 --> 00:39:29,474 Abbie has her appointment today and I can't be here. 544 00:39:29,494 --> 00:39:30,544 I have to go to work, 545 00:39:30,662 --> 00:39:32,662 so I was hoping that maybe you could be here 546 00:39:33,331 --> 00:39:36,211 when she gets back in case she needs some support. 547 00:39:36,751 --> 00:39:38,591 She's going through a lot. 548 00:39:39,504 --> 00:39:43,424 Okay, well, like, what if it's, like, bad news or something? 549 00:39:44,551 --> 00:39:45,681 Well, you can handle it. 550 00:39:46,136 --> 00:39:49,556 Or if you can't, you have to start somewhere. 551 00:39:51,349 --> 00:39:53,639 Men always feel like they have to fix things 552 00:39:53,727 --> 00:39:55,637 for women or they're not doing anything, 553 00:39:55,729 --> 00:39:58,859 but some things just can't be fixed. 554 00:39:58,982 --> 00:40:00,322 Just be there. 555 00:40:01,234 --> 00:40:03,444 Somehow that's hard for all of you. 556 00:40:05,405 --> 00:40:08,955 Mom, I'm not "all men." Okay? I'm just me. 557 00:40:09,951 --> 00:40:12,371 Well, yes and no. 558 00:40:16,082 --> 00:40:18,582 What if I have to have full-on chemo... 559 00:40:19,503 --> 00:40:21,633 or get a hysterectomy? 560 00:40:22,422 --> 00:40:24,302 Do you know what that is? 561 00:40:26,510 --> 00:40:28,890 Look, I should just go with you, you know? I mean... 562 00:40:35,101 --> 00:40:38,151 Your mom did tell me to share my life with you. 563 00:40:39,439 --> 00:40:41,189 Yeah, I know. 564 00:40:42,317 --> 00:40:44,357 You don't... 565 00:40:44,444 --> 00:40:45,904 Don't worry about her. She's... 566 00:40:46,154 --> 00:40:47,784 she's from The Depression. 567 00:40:51,451 --> 00:40:52,541 Yeah. 568 00:40:57,624 --> 00:40:59,924 It's good news, Abbie. 569 00:41:01,628 --> 00:41:03,088 There were no malignant cells. 570 00:41:03,964 --> 00:41:05,634 Your biopsy's benign. 571 00:41:09,553 --> 00:41:12,473 And in the future? 572 00:41:13,974 --> 00:41:17,274 There was damage to the muscle wall, from the surgery. 573 00:41:19,646 --> 00:41:21,766 You have an incompetent cervix. 574 00:41:30,740 --> 00:41:32,450 Incompetent? 575 00:41:33,702 --> 00:41:36,542 It may not be strong enough to go full term during pregnancy. 576 00:41:37,497 --> 00:41:40,537 As the baby grows, the cervix widens. 577 00:41:41,501 --> 00:41:43,961 If it's weakened, it's likely to open prematurely. 578 00:41:50,468 --> 00:41:52,048 I'm gonna be okay. 579 00:41:56,391 --> 00:41:59,231 He said that I probably can't have kids. 580 00:42:05,859 --> 00:42:07,689 Was having Jamie, like... 581 00:42:08,778 --> 00:42:11,068 the biggest thing that ever happened to you? 582 00:42:16,161 --> 00:42:17,621 I guess so. 583 00:42:19,914 --> 00:42:22,124 - Sorry. - It's okay. 584 00:42:27,631 --> 00:42:29,671 You'll get through this. 585 00:42:31,676 --> 00:42:33,546 You will get through it. 586 00:42:34,596 --> 00:42:36,466 You will do it. 587 00:42:40,060 --> 00:42:43,730 You'll... This is the really hard part. And then what happens is, 588 00:42:44,105 --> 00:42:47,115 there's a hard part and then it gets better. 589 00:42:48,610 --> 00:42:50,570 And then it gets hard again, but never mind. 590 00:42:54,157 --> 00:42:55,867 I shouldn't have told you that part. 591 00:42:56,743 --> 00:43:00,333 I should have just said it gets better and then that's it, but... 592 00:43:01,122 --> 00:43:02,162 You got birds? 593 00:43:02,874 --> 00:43:03,924 Is that okay? 594 00:43:04,334 --> 00:43:05,384 Yeah. 595 00:43:08,421 --> 00:43:09,921 So did you name them? 596 00:43:10,507 --> 00:43:11,547 Not yet. 597 00:43:12,133 --> 00:43:14,223 They're a boy and a girl, and... 598 00:43:14,302 --> 00:43:16,512 that they're monogamous for life, so if... 599 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,640 one of them dies, then the other one... 600 00:43:21,685 --> 00:43:23,695 will die like a week later. 601 00:43:23,978 --> 00:43:25,648 Wow. 602 00:43:27,357 --> 00:43:29,317 Well how 'bout Maximilian and Carlotta? 603 00:43:30,568 --> 00:43:31,608 I... I... 604 00:43:32,404 --> 00:43:33,904 You know, they deserve something grand 605 00:43:33,988 --> 00:43:37,318 if they're gonna be monogamous their whole lives. 606 00:43:37,409 --> 00:43:39,869 Right? 607 00:43:41,788 --> 00:43:45,868 Aw. 608 00:43:48,795 --> 00:43:52,425 Max and Carlotta are really good names. 609 00:43:54,175 --> 00:43:57,265 So, um, you... 610 00:43:57,345 --> 00:44:00,515 you went to the doctor's and you waited with her. 611 00:44:02,016 --> 00:44:03,386 Yeah. 612 00:44:04,686 --> 00:44:07,096 But I... I told you to wait here. 613 00:44:07,397 --> 00:44:08,437 I, um, 614 00:44:08,815 --> 00:44:10,775 I thought it'd be better to, uh, go and... 615 00:44:11,735 --> 00:44:12,785 really be there. 616 00:44:13,778 --> 00:44:15,148 Wow. 617 00:44:17,574 --> 00:44:19,494 She's really upset. 618 00:44:22,203 --> 00:44:24,003 That must have been a lot to deal with. 619 00:44:24,748 --> 00:44:26,168 I'm fine. 620 00:44:26,750 --> 00:44:28,000 I'm good. 621 00:44:29,127 --> 00:44:31,587 I... I learned a lot. 622 00:44:35,175 --> 00:44:36,385 Abigail Porter? 623 00:44:43,183 --> 00:44:44,683 "Home pregnancy tests 624 00:44:44,768 --> 00:44:46,478 that women can do safely and easily. 625 00:44:47,854 --> 00:44:51,364 A small revolution for women seeking to take control of their lives." 626 00:45:11,711 --> 00:45:13,551 What the fuck is this? 627 00:45:14,297 --> 00:45:16,877 It's a pregnancy test. 628 00:45:22,472 --> 00:45:23,512 Um, 629 00:45:23,932 --> 00:45:25,392 Abbie's doctor said that, uh, 630 00:45:26,392 --> 00:45:28,942 she wouldn't be able to have kids. 631 00:45:31,231 --> 00:45:33,231 Why'd she take you? 632 00:45:37,821 --> 00:45:39,611 - Is that all of it? - Yeah. 633 00:45:40,907 --> 00:45:42,317 That's a lot. 634 00:45:42,867 --> 00:45:45,037 - Now what? - Um... 635 00:45:45,787 --> 00:45:47,787 "Shake for ten seconds." 636 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,470 Okay, um... 637 00:46:03,805 --> 00:46:07,475 Um... "Leave undisturbed for two hours." 638 00:46:09,269 --> 00:46:11,229 Two hours? 639 00:46:12,772 --> 00:46:14,272 That's what it says. 640 00:46:18,278 --> 00:46:21,358 Okay, if it appears, then you're positive, 641 00:46:21,447 --> 00:46:24,907 and if no ring appears here, then the test is negative. 642 00:46:30,290 --> 00:46:31,500 What do we do for two hours? 643 00:46:37,046 --> 00:46:38,336 Guys don't smoke like that. 644 00:46:38,798 --> 00:46:39,838 Don't hold it like that. 645 00:46:39,924 --> 00:46:42,894 Like... this, 646 00:46:43,261 --> 00:46:44,471 between your two fingers. 647 00:46:44,971 --> 00:46:46,931 - That? - Yeah. That's better. 648 00:46:51,102 --> 00:46:52,392 Okay now walk. Do like a... 649 00:46:53,146 --> 00:46:55,356 a cool cigarette walk. 650 00:47:04,115 --> 00:47:05,435 Guys aren't supposed to look like 651 00:47:05,491 --> 00:47:07,831 they're thinking about what they look like. 652 00:47:09,954 --> 00:47:11,334 Watch me. 653 00:47:19,213 --> 00:47:20,553 See? 654 00:47:21,174 --> 00:47:24,094 Smoking's gross. 655 00:47:24,510 --> 00:47:26,180 No, it's not. 656 00:47:28,014 --> 00:47:29,064 It gives you cancer. 657 00:47:31,392 --> 00:47:32,522 This is just my opinion. 658 00:47:32,727 --> 00:47:35,017 I think being strong is the most important quality. 659 00:47:35,104 --> 00:47:38,694 It's not being vulnerable, it's not being sensitive. 660 00:47:38,983 --> 00:47:41,743 It's not even... Honestly, it's not even being happy. 661 00:47:42,654 --> 00:47:43,704 It's about strength 662 00:47:44,447 --> 00:47:47,737 and your durability against the other emotions. 663 00:47:58,086 --> 00:47:59,746 No ring. 664 00:48:01,005 --> 00:48:02,805 No ring. 665 00:48:11,224 --> 00:48:13,354 - Hey. - Hey. 666 00:48:15,687 --> 00:48:17,347 Thanks for coming with me. 667 00:48:17,981 --> 00:48:19,311 Yeah, totally. 668 00:48:20,358 --> 00:48:22,028 I made you this. 669 00:48:23,194 --> 00:48:24,324 - It's a mix tape. - Yep. 670 00:48:25,613 --> 00:48:28,163 These were a bunch of songs that... 671 00:48:28,241 --> 00:48:31,241 I think my life would have been better 672 00:48:31,577 --> 00:48:35,287 if they had been around when I was a teenager. 673 00:48:35,581 --> 00:48:38,791 So I'm hoping that if you listen to them now, 674 00:48:39,210 --> 00:48:42,170 you will be a happier and more realized person 675 00:48:42,255 --> 00:48:45,845 than I could ever hope to be. 676 00:48:51,806 --> 00:48:53,306 From that night on... 677 00:48:53,391 --> 00:48:55,891 Abbie started telling me everything. 678 00:48:57,103 --> 00:49:00,113 She grew up in Santa Barbara where everyone is happy, 679 00:49:00,356 --> 00:49:02,476 but that just made her feel crazy. 680 00:49:04,610 --> 00:49:08,070 In 1973, she moved to New York City and went to art school. 681 00:49:09,157 --> 00:49:11,697 New York City made her feel sane. 682 00:49:11,868 --> 00:49:13,618 It was so fucked up. 683 00:49:14,537 --> 00:49:16,707 She fell in love with photography. 684 00:49:17,874 --> 00:49:19,674 She learned to dance when she got sad. 685 00:49:21,127 --> 00:49:24,917 She saw The Man Who Fell to Earth and dyed her hair red. 686 00:49:25,048 --> 00:49:27,418 I figured out how to be looked at 687 00:49:27,967 --> 00:49:29,007 by men, 688 00:49:30,053 --> 00:49:34,433 and how to make them excited, 689 00:49:34,849 --> 00:49:36,889 and uncomfortable. 690 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:38,600 I was so cocky, 691 00:49:39,062 --> 00:49:40,772 and I was so angry 692 00:49:41,314 --> 00:49:44,074 and I was so happy. 693 00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,740 She fell in love with her teacher. 694 00:49:56,662 --> 00:49:58,462 Then she went to Planned Parenthood. 695 00:49:58,998 --> 00:50:00,458 Abigail Porter? 696 00:50:04,128 --> 00:50:07,048 Her friends couldn't deal with her having cancer, 697 00:50:07,131 --> 00:50:09,051 so she went home to her mom. 698 00:50:09,133 --> 00:50:10,223 Hey, Mom... 699 00:50:11,052 --> 00:50:12,682 Gail, did you ever take... 700 00:50:12,762 --> 00:50:15,972 D.E.S. when you were pregnant with Abbie? 701 00:50:16,933 --> 00:50:18,103 Yes. 702 00:50:19,185 --> 00:50:24,025 I had two miscarriages before Abbie. The doctor told me to take it. 703 00:50:25,108 --> 00:50:28,608 D.E.S. was a fertility medication. 704 00:50:28,694 --> 00:50:31,534 Doctors prescribed it to women. 705 00:50:31,656 --> 00:50:34,276 Later they found out that the daughters 706 00:50:34,367 --> 00:50:37,737 of the women who took it got cervical cancer. 707 00:50:38,287 --> 00:50:41,207 I didn't know that you had miscarriages. 708 00:50:43,835 --> 00:50:44,925 When her mom found out 709 00:50:45,002 --> 00:50:46,632 it was because she took that drug, 710 00:50:47,213 --> 00:50:48,513 she wouldn't talk about it. 711 00:50:49,632 --> 00:50:52,722 And everything Abbie did made her mad. 712 00:50:53,928 --> 00:50:56,348 So Abbie looked for another place to live. 713 00:50:58,599 --> 00:50:59,639 - Hi. Hello... - Hi. 714 00:51:00,226 --> 00:51:03,226 And she started renting the room upstairs. 715 00:51:03,646 --> 00:51:04,726 I'm Abbie. 716 00:51:05,731 --> 00:51:07,691 And she got a job at the news press. 717 00:51:07,775 --> 00:51:08,825 ...the landslide. 718 00:51:09,277 --> 00:51:11,067 It shows how erosion along the bluff, 719 00:51:11,612 --> 00:51:14,742 it causes instantaneous loss of oceanfront property 720 00:51:14,824 --> 00:51:15,954 and... and construction. 721 00:51:17,034 --> 00:51:18,334 Over time, it gradually... 722 00:51:30,423 --> 00:51:31,973 Hi, Dorothea. 723 00:51:32,425 --> 00:51:34,225 Hey, Charlie. 724 00:51:40,141 --> 00:51:43,021 Hey... um... 725 00:51:45,229 --> 00:51:46,439 You wanna go out some time? 726 00:51:47,190 --> 00:51:48,820 Get a drink? 727 00:51:49,567 --> 00:51:51,737 Oh, um... 728 00:51:54,113 --> 00:51:55,783 Yeah. 729 00:51:57,200 --> 00:51:59,870 What the heck, Charlie? 730 00:51:59,952 --> 00:52:02,082 Sure. Okay. 731 00:52:02,246 --> 00:52:04,156 I wasn't sure. 732 00:52:04,248 --> 00:52:05,828 - Uh... - What? 733 00:52:06,459 --> 00:52:09,419 Some... some of the guys thought you were a lesbian. 734 00:52:09,503 --> 00:52:13,673 You know, which, look, I don't have a problem with if you are, 735 00:52:13,925 --> 00:52:15,685 but you're not. 736 00:52:16,219 --> 00:52:18,179 Yeah, no, I am not. 737 00:52:22,391 --> 00:52:24,181 Um, should we go out then? 738 00:52:26,437 --> 00:52:28,307 Okay, yeah. Sure. 739 00:52:28,397 --> 00:52:32,437 You wanna come to dinner at my house again some time? 740 00:52:34,195 --> 00:52:35,365 You could... 741 00:52:35,738 --> 00:52:37,278 We could do that. 742 00:53:11,232 --> 00:53:13,782 Shit. Julie. 743 00:53:27,415 --> 00:53:29,125 It's really-It's nothing. 744 00:53:29,292 --> 00:53:31,292 I just end up there sometimes. 745 00:53:32,670 --> 00:53:34,340 What do you guys do? 746 00:53:35,047 --> 00:53:36,297 I just sleep. 747 00:53:36,966 --> 00:53:38,166 We talk. 748 00:53:44,724 --> 00:53:46,144 Can I have one? 749 00:53:47,351 --> 00:53:48,811 No, they're really bad for you. 750 00:53:50,146 --> 00:53:51,346 You smoke all the time. 751 00:53:52,231 --> 00:53:54,361 You know when I started, they weren't bad for you. 752 00:53:54,442 --> 00:53:56,742 They were just stylish, sort of edgy, 753 00:53:56,819 --> 00:53:59,699 so it's different for me. 754 00:54:05,953 --> 00:54:07,293 Okay. 755 00:54:16,547 --> 00:54:18,167 You're good at hiding stuff, huh? 756 00:54:19,425 --> 00:54:21,895 My mom calls it compartmentalizing. 757 00:54:22,553 --> 00:54:24,393 Apparently, I do that a lot. 758 00:54:29,143 --> 00:54:30,643 Are you helping him? 759 00:54:33,397 --> 00:54:35,517 - I'm trying. - Really? 760 00:54:37,735 --> 00:54:38,785 What about you? 761 00:54:39,403 --> 00:54:41,993 Have you thought about your impact on him? 762 00:54:43,324 --> 00:54:45,414 It's always about the mother. 763 00:54:47,370 --> 00:54:48,410 Like... 764 00:54:48,579 --> 00:54:51,369 do you think you've moved on since his dad? 765 00:54:52,750 --> 00:54:54,960 You know that you're not actually a therapist? 766 00:54:58,756 --> 00:55:00,966 I've had new guys, okay? 767 00:55:03,469 --> 00:55:05,389 No one appropriate. 768 00:55:06,931 --> 00:55:08,311 Appropriate? 769 00:55:10,976 --> 00:55:13,686 Guys you're not gonna risk anything with... 770 00:55:15,731 --> 00:55:17,401 men you don't even really like. 771 00:55:18,401 --> 00:55:20,991 Listen, you're 17, okay? 772 00:55:21,195 --> 00:55:23,745 Maybe you don't know what's good about these guys 773 00:55:23,823 --> 00:55:25,493 that I really like. 774 00:55:27,576 --> 00:55:28,616 I'm talking about you. 775 00:55:29,954 --> 00:55:32,214 You never seem into it... 776 00:55:33,290 --> 00:55:35,170 except for with William. 777 00:55:37,128 --> 00:55:38,498 But... 778 00:55:39,547 --> 00:55:41,297 he's inappropriate. 779 00:55:43,843 --> 00:55:47,053 Okay, Jesus. Uh, yeah. 780 00:55:50,057 --> 00:55:52,557 It's hard to find someone that I like. 781 00:55:54,478 --> 00:55:56,268 I... I had my chance twice, 782 00:55:56,355 --> 00:55:59,615 but that part of life just didn't work out for me. 783 00:56:09,702 --> 00:56:11,622 - Bye. - Bye. 784 00:56:48,157 --> 00:56:49,487 Where were you? 785 00:56:51,660 --> 00:56:53,580 I had some errands. 786 00:56:56,540 --> 00:56:57,580 You did the whole list. 787 00:56:58,667 --> 00:56:59,787 You know all the stocks? 788 00:57:00,503 --> 00:57:01,753 Yeah. 789 00:57:03,714 --> 00:57:06,424 IBM is down, huh? 790 00:57:06,592 --> 00:57:07,932 Sorry. I'll fix it next time. 791 00:57:09,386 --> 00:57:11,756 That... Good job on that. 792 00:57:27,780 --> 00:57:29,910 - William? - Yes? 793 00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:33,620 Do I seem stuck to you? 794 00:57:37,581 --> 00:57:38,961 How do you mean? 795 00:57:43,045 --> 00:57:45,715 Well, I, I guess I wouldn't know, would I? 796 00:57:51,971 --> 00:57:53,811 - Abbie? - Yes? 797 00:57:54,974 --> 00:57:57,274 Let's go out tonight. 798 00:57:58,060 --> 00:58:00,980 I want to see this modern world. 799 00:58:04,191 --> 00:58:05,441 Can I come? 800 00:58:25,546 --> 00:58:28,756 I don't know if I'm gonna find an appropriate man here. 801 00:58:29,967 --> 00:58:31,427 Thank you. 802 00:58:42,062 --> 00:58:43,652 What? 803 00:58:54,908 --> 00:58:55,948 What was that? 804 00:58:56,702 --> 00:58:58,332 What does that mean? 805 00:58:59,204 --> 00:59:03,294 Oh... Um... Uh... 806 00:59:03,709 --> 00:59:04,999 I mean you don't kiss a woman 807 00:59:05,210 --> 00:59:07,420 unless you know what you mean by it. 808 00:59:13,427 --> 00:59:15,257 Aren't you sleeping with Abbie? 809 00:59:17,514 --> 00:59:20,604 That's not something serious. It's... 810 00:59:22,645 --> 00:59:24,235 Then why do it? 811 00:59:57,137 --> 00:59:58,807 It's 1979. 812 00:59:59,098 --> 01:00:00,928 I'm 55 years old. 813 01:00:01,308 --> 01:00:03,308 This is what my son believes in. 814 01:00:04,269 --> 01:00:05,309 These people... 815 01:00:06,188 --> 01:00:07,978 with this hair... 816 01:00:08,273 --> 01:00:09,443 and these clothes... 817 01:00:09,983 --> 01:00:13,283 making these gestures, making these sounds. 818 01:00:15,030 --> 01:00:18,070 It's 1979. I'm 55 years old, 819 01:00:18,367 --> 01:00:19,407 and in 1999, 820 01:00:19,702 --> 01:00:22,372 I will die of cancer from the smoking. 821 01:00:26,709 --> 01:00:29,089 Hey. Are you going? 822 01:00:29,795 --> 01:00:31,005 Yeah. 823 01:00:32,047 --> 01:00:35,757 Do me a favor. Just take care of Abbie. 824 01:00:39,054 --> 01:00:42,014 They don't know this is the end of punk. 825 01:00:42,182 --> 01:00:44,022 They don't know that Reagan's coming. 826 01:00:45,394 --> 01:00:46,984 It's impossible to imagine 827 01:00:47,062 --> 01:00:50,232 that kids will stop dreaming about nuclear war, 828 01:00:50,774 --> 01:00:52,654 and have nightmares about the weather. 829 01:00:53,986 --> 01:00:57,236 It's impossible to imagine HIV, 830 01:00:57,906 --> 01:00:59,906 what will happen with skateboard tricks, 831 01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:02,910 the internet. 832 01:01:03,662 --> 01:01:04,702 You have a good time? 833 01:01:05,164 --> 01:01:06,964 Yeah, it was interesting. 834 01:01:09,585 --> 01:01:11,135 So Abbie has your number, right? 835 01:01:11,503 --> 01:01:14,053 - Yeah. - Maybe you'll come over for dinner. 836 01:01:14,757 --> 01:01:15,797 I'd like that. 837 01:01:23,891 --> 01:01:25,431 Kid. 838 01:01:28,562 --> 01:01:29,852 It's late. 839 01:01:31,690 --> 01:01:32,940 How was it? 840 01:01:33,275 --> 01:01:37,155 It was... life-changing. 841 01:01:50,793 --> 01:01:53,633 Before I die, I will prepare for Y2K. 842 01:01:54,338 --> 01:01:57,338 I put canned food and water in the garage. 843 01:01:57,841 --> 01:02:01,301 I put $16,000 dollars' worth of gold coins 844 01:02:01,386 --> 01:02:05,216 into a safe deposit box at the Bank of Montecito. 845 01:02:09,895 --> 01:02:12,155 I died before the new year, 846 01:02:12,773 --> 01:02:16,033 Dolphin shaped balloons floated over my head. 847 01:02:16,401 --> 01:02:19,491 They were playing Louis Armstrong on a boom box. 848 01:02:33,919 --> 01:02:35,039 Jamie? 849 01:02:37,881 --> 01:02:39,511 Hey, sorry. Are you awake? 850 01:02:40,801 --> 01:02:42,091 I just wanted to tell you... 851 01:02:42,970 --> 01:02:48,140 that you have to get out of this town if you want to have any chance 852 01:02:48,225 --> 01:02:50,105 of an interesting life moving forward. 853 01:02:50,477 --> 01:02:52,227 What happened? 854 01:02:54,898 --> 01:02:56,688 Sorry. Shit. 855 01:02:57,484 --> 01:02:59,074 We don't have sex. 856 01:03:00,237 --> 01:03:01,897 I just sleep here. 857 01:03:04,283 --> 01:03:05,783 Okay. 858 01:03:07,411 --> 01:03:08,451 Can I lay down? 859 01:03:09,121 --> 01:03:10,791 - We were sleeping. - Just scoot over. 860 01:03:10,873 --> 01:03:13,963 It's okay. I'm just gonna talk to Jamie for a second. 861 01:03:16,670 --> 01:03:19,920 So Lynette Winters spit on me, 862 01:03:20,007 --> 01:03:21,047 so then I hit her. 863 01:03:21,592 --> 01:03:22,762 Why'd she spit on you? 864 01:03:22,843 --> 01:03:24,303 Because I spit on her, 865 01:03:24,511 --> 01:03:25,905 right before I was going to New York 866 01:03:25,929 --> 01:03:27,889 and I thought I was never gonna come back. 867 01:03:28,140 --> 01:03:29,720 It felt very liberating at the time. 868 01:03:29,808 --> 01:03:31,138 - Fucking bitch! - All right. 869 01:03:31,226 --> 01:03:33,386 And somehow I ended up breaking a chair. 870 01:03:36,023 --> 01:03:37,733 Hey, Julian, I'm sorry. 871 01:03:37,941 --> 01:03:40,191 - You okay? - Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 872 01:03:42,571 --> 01:03:43,911 And then William told me 873 01:03:43,989 --> 01:03:45,869 he didn't want to sleep with me anymore. 874 01:03:46,033 --> 01:03:48,533 What are you saying? I don't like you! 875 01:03:48,619 --> 01:03:50,159 I don't like you! I don't like... 876 01:03:51,622 --> 01:03:54,122 Just, just, I'm just gonna talk to Jamie for a second. 877 01:03:55,417 --> 01:03:59,547 Um, you cannot let her sleep here 878 01:03:59,838 --> 01:04:02,418 if she's not having sex with you. 879 01:04:02,549 --> 01:04:05,009 It's disempowering. 880 01:04:05,886 --> 01:04:07,596 Also, you need to get out of this town 881 01:04:09,306 --> 01:04:12,306 before you start working at a sunglasses shop. 882 01:04:15,354 --> 01:04:16,734 I mean, it goes for you, too. 883 01:04:33,664 --> 01:04:37,004 Jamie, um, here's some books from a feminism class I took. 884 01:04:37,084 --> 01:04:38,424 I thought it would be helpful 885 01:04:38,752 --> 01:04:40,382 for you to get a woman's perspective. 886 01:04:40,462 --> 01:04:41,672 What happened to your lip? 887 01:04:41,838 --> 01:04:43,338 Oh, I got in a fight. 888 01:04:43,423 --> 01:04:44,883 - You want some apples? - What?! 889 01:04:44,967 --> 01:04:47,257 There was a fight. It was... it was ridiculous. 890 01:04:47,344 --> 01:04:49,224 Hold on, is that Our Bodies, Ourselves? 891 01:04:49,805 --> 01:04:50,855 Yes, it is. 892 01:04:51,014 --> 01:04:52,454 This was a really, really good book. 893 01:04:53,684 --> 01:04:58,404 There's a really good chapter on home... childbirths. 894 01:04:59,731 --> 01:05:03,531 Home birth actually stunts the baby's growth personality. 895 01:05:03,694 --> 01:05:06,114 What is a growth personality? 896 01:05:06,196 --> 01:05:07,236 It's a real term. 897 01:05:07,614 --> 01:05:10,164 "And who knows what it means for a newborn 898 01:05:10,909 --> 01:05:14,449 to see wood walls and carpeted floor 899 01:05:14,538 --> 01:05:17,118 and to smell real human smells 900 01:05:17,207 --> 01:05:20,577 and to feel wool and cotton and flannel clothes 901 01:05:20,669 --> 01:05:25,839 instead of starchy, white, deodorized" dot, dot, dot. 902 01:05:25,966 --> 01:05:27,926 To me, that meant, like, "And what else?" 903 01:05:36,977 --> 01:05:38,437 Women's sexuality, 904 01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:40,770 defined by men to benefit men, 905 01:05:40,856 --> 01:05:43,146 has been downgraded and perverted, 906 01:05:43,233 --> 01:05:44,823 repressed and channeled. 907 01:05:45,694 --> 01:05:48,864 Anatomically, all orgasms are centered in the clitoris, 908 01:05:48,947 --> 01:05:50,867 whether they result from direct manual pressure 909 01:05:50,949 --> 01:05:52,119 applied to the clitoris, 910 01:05:52,784 --> 01:05:54,294 indirect pressure resulting from... 911 01:05:54,369 --> 01:05:56,079 Last night, I fucked Heather so hard, 912 01:05:56,163 --> 01:05:57,543 she came like, three times. 913 01:05:59,166 --> 01:06:01,456 How did you stimulate her clitoris? 914 01:06:02,461 --> 01:06:04,051 With my dick. 915 01:06:06,006 --> 01:06:09,046 Women need direct clitoral stimulation, 916 01:06:09,134 --> 01:06:12,804 like with fingers or a vibrator or something. 917 01:06:13,805 --> 01:06:16,145 She probably faked it. Women fake it all the time. 918 01:06:17,225 --> 01:06:19,105 Talking Heads are a bunch of fags. 919 01:06:21,229 --> 01:06:23,059 Actually, there's a girl in their band, 920 01:06:23,148 --> 01:06:25,898 and she's dating the drummer, so... 921 01:06:28,153 --> 01:06:30,033 Your name's Jamie, right? 922 01:06:30,530 --> 01:06:33,660 Fuckin' art fag. 923 01:06:43,043 --> 01:06:45,293 So what was the fight about? 924 01:06:48,340 --> 01:06:50,550 Clitoral stimulation. 925 01:06:54,137 --> 01:06:55,967 Why do you need to fight about that? 926 01:06:57,140 --> 01:06:58,180 I don't know. I... 927 01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:00,980 I wanna be a good guy, okay? 928 01:07:01,061 --> 01:07:05,731 I just... want to be able to satisfy a woman. 929 01:07:13,573 --> 01:07:15,953 Kid, I'm sure you will. 930 01:07:31,216 --> 01:07:32,586 Shit. 931 01:07:34,052 --> 01:07:35,722 Jamie! 932 01:07:36,429 --> 01:07:37,759 That's not cool. 933 01:07:37,889 --> 01:07:42,019 Yeah. That's what Matt called me for liking the Talking Heads. 934 01:07:43,228 --> 01:07:44,518 Uh-huh. 935 01:07:45,313 --> 01:07:48,113 And what is "Black Flag?" 936 01:07:48,733 --> 01:07:50,403 It's a hard core band, 937 01:07:50,485 --> 01:07:55,325 so the people who love Black Flag hate the Talking Heads. 938 01:07:56,116 --> 01:07:57,736 What?! 939 01:07:57,826 --> 01:08:00,996 The punk scene is very divisive. 940 01:08:01,454 --> 01:08:06,174 Hey! You're all so advanced, aren't you? 941 01:08:07,377 --> 01:08:10,127 The next time a dude tells you a sex story, 942 01:08:10,213 --> 01:08:13,763 you just have to agree with everything he says 943 01:08:13,842 --> 01:08:15,802 and act like it's right, even if it's not, 944 01:08:16,970 --> 01:08:18,970 because they don't wanna be contradicted. 945 01:08:19,055 --> 01:08:21,855 They just wanna live in their fantasy lands. 946 01:08:24,186 --> 01:08:27,186 How are you doing... with everything? 947 01:08:43,246 --> 01:08:45,496 Whatever you think your life is going to be like, 948 01:08:45,582 --> 01:08:49,422 just know it's not gonna be anything like that. 949 01:08:53,298 --> 01:08:54,378 Right. 950 01:09:10,106 --> 01:09:11,896 Take me to that club. 951 01:09:17,322 --> 01:09:18,412 Tonight? 952 01:09:19,950 --> 01:09:22,200 - Hey. - Hey. 953 01:09:23,328 --> 01:09:25,198 Wow, you look amazing. Where you going? 954 01:09:26,331 --> 01:09:28,121 We're just gonna go out. Is that okay? 955 01:09:28,291 --> 01:09:30,081 Well yeah, of course. And, uh, where? 956 01:09:31,169 --> 01:09:32,289 Just goin' out. 957 01:09:35,173 --> 01:09:36,223 - Bye. - Bye! 958 01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:56,860 Put that down. 959 01:09:57,696 --> 01:10:00,316 Hey, could I get a beer? 960 01:10:02,993 --> 01:10:06,163 Now say, "I... I'm into older women." 961 01:10:06,538 --> 01:10:08,368 Just say it. 962 01:10:08,957 --> 01:10:10,577 I'm into older women. 963 01:10:10,667 --> 01:10:11,707 Oh... 964 01:10:13,420 --> 01:10:14,460 How old are you? 965 01:10:15,213 --> 01:10:17,173 Age is a bourgeois construct. 966 01:10:18,466 --> 01:10:20,756 Age is a bourgeois construct. 967 01:10:21,428 --> 01:10:22,888 That's a good answer. 968 01:10:23,763 --> 01:10:25,143 Age is a bourgeois construct. 969 01:10:25,432 --> 01:10:26,562 Okay, okay. You get it. 970 01:10:26,975 --> 01:10:29,985 Um, so now if she asks you any questions, 971 01:10:30,061 --> 01:10:33,021 you just say as little as possible, okay? 972 01:10:34,024 --> 01:10:36,484 Now show me your most inscrutable face. 973 01:10:48,288 --> 01:10:50,288 I don't really make choices, when they... 974 01:10:50,790 --> 01:10:52,040 about... 975 01:10:52,751 --> 01:10:54,211 about women. They just... 976 01:10:55,378 --> 01:10:56,378 They come to you. 977 01:10:57,505 --> 01:11:00,425 That... that's... You could have more than that. 978 01:11:03,428 --> 01:11:05,218 But what about you? Why... 979 01:11:06,181 --> 01:11:08,771 I mean, what happened to Jamie's dad? 980 01:11:11,436 --> 01:11:14,266 Well... 981 01:11:15,523 --> 01:11:19,233 He just, no... He just didn't turn out like I thought he would. 982 01:11:21,363 --> 01:11:22,403 I guess that happens. 983 01:11:23,406 --> 01:11:25,526 There must have been something good about him. 984 01:11:28,536 --> 01:11:31,656 Um, he was left-handed. 985 01:11:32,582 --> 01:11:35,502 That's it? That's it? 986 01:11:35,585 --> 01:11:37,805 Yes, and I was right-handed. 987 01:11:38,463 --> 01:11:39,513 And so in the morning, 988 01:11:41,383 --> 01:11:43,513 we would look at the stock reports together, 989 01:11:44,469 --> 01:11:45,509 and... 990 01:11:47,472 --> 01:11:48,792 he could write with his left-hand 991 01:11:48,848 --> 01:11:51,518 and scratch my back with his right. 992 01:11:54,979 --> 01:11:56,439 And that's it? 993 01:11:58,316 --> 01:11:59,476 I loved that. 994 01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:05,320 Do you ever meditate? 995 01:12:08,660 --> 01:12:09,700 Uh... 996 01:12:10,703 --> 01:12:11,753 I feel the air, 997 01:12:12,414 --> 01:12:14,254 coolness of the air goes through my nose. 998 01:12:15,708 --> 01:12:17,788 All I'm really doing is... 999 01:12:19,421 --> 01:12:20,631 bringing my attention 1000 01:12:21,923 --> 01:12:24,173 back to my breath. 1001 01:12:24,342 --> 01:12:26,842 So when I take a breath in... 1002 01:12:27,804 --> 01:12:29,354 there's a feeling. 1003 01:12:30,306 --> 01:12:32,056 It's air going in. 1004 01:12:33,601 --> 01:12:35,351 It's air going out. 1005 01:12:36,062 --> 01:12:37,442 It's a good feeling. 1006 01:12:43,862 --> 01:12:46,072 No, it's okay. Go ahead. I'm just gonna... 1007 01:12:49,367 --> 01:12:50,407 Go ahead. 1008 01:12:51,035 --> 01:12:52,795 I'm just gonna smoke. 1009 01:12:54,122 --> 01:12:55,412 I'm listening. 1010 01:12:57,292 --> 01:12:59,502 All right, I wanna get on the same page. 1011 01:13:00,462 --> 01:13:01,502 You are such... 1012 01:13:01,963 --> 01:13:05,263 How did you get to be this person that you are? 1013 01:13:05,341 --> 01:13:08,761 It's so... You're so unusual. 1014 01:13:10,930 --> 01:13:12,310 William's dad managed 1015 01:13:12,390 --> 01:13:14,020 an auto repair shop in Cleveland. 1016 01:13:15,435 --> 01:13:18,695 Engines always made sense to him. 1017 01:13:19,731 --> 01:13:21,651 He tried to put himself through college, 1018 01:13:21,733 --> 01:13:23,613 but couldn't afford it. 1019 01:13:27,530 --> 01:13:30,490 He met Theresa in 1963. 1020 01:13:30,575 --> 01:13:33,455 She was smart, brave, better off. 1021 01:13:33,536 --> 01:13:34,576 They were in love. 1022 01:13:35,121 --> 01:13:36,251 They'd move to Oakland, 1023 01:13:36,456 --> 01:13:38,786 then to a commune in Sebastopol. 1024 01:13:38,875 --> 01:13:41,005 Well, I learned to be like them, you know? 1025 01:13:41,085 --> 01:13:42,135 And... as it turns out, 1026 01:13:43,755 --> 01:13:45,845 it's a lot easier than I thought it would be. 1027 01:13:45,924 --> 01:13:48,884 But it wasn't really me I was doing it for... 1028 01:13:50,345 --> 01:13:53,065 so that I wouldn't lose Theresa. 1029 01:13:54,307 --> 01:13:55,807 He started talking like them, 1030 01:13:55,892 --> 01:13:56,932 looking like them, 1031 01:13:57,435 --> 01:14:01,065 but they made him feel old and uneducated and poor. 1032 01:14:01,731 --> 01:14:03,271 Theresa started thinking 1033 01:14:03,358 --> 01:14:05,858 William was uptight and possessive and she left him. 1034 01:14:07,278 --> 01:14:08,358 After Theresa, 1035 01:14:08,446 --> 01:14:10,446 women didn't have to look one way or the other, 1036 01:14:10,532 --> 01:14:11,572 or be a certain way. 1037 01:14:16,329 --> 01:14:17,369 I think that I just... 1038 01:14:18,623 --> 01:14:19,673 I want to win them over 1039 01:14:20,458 --> 01:14:21,628 so that I won't be lonely. 1040 01:14:22,502 --> 01:14:23,752 You live here? 1041 01:14:24,420 --> 01:14:25,460 I do. 1042 01:14:25,588 --> 01:14:27,088 But once I have them, 1043 01:14:28,132 --> 01:14:30,012 I don't really know what to do with them. 1044 01:14:38,142 --> 01:14:39,772 You wanna do something later? 1045 01:14:40,812 --> 01:14:42,652 You're sweet. 1046 01:14:43,606 --> 01:14:45,146 I should go. 1047 01:14:46,609 --> 01:14:49,149 What he likes is making bowls. 1048 01:14:49,571 --> 01:14:51,361 He doesn't smell like oil and grease. 1049 01:14:51,447 --> 01:14:53,777 His hands don't look like dumb mechanic's hands. 1050 01:14:54,450 --> 01:14:56,290 I was using the smaller bowls for a while. 1051 01:14:56,369 --> 01:14:58,539 Um, and then I was kind of feeling like I needed 1052 01:14:58,871 --> 01:15:00,751 to beat the crap out of some stuff, so... 1053 01:15:02,041 --> 01:15:05,461 And when it gets a little bit drier, 1054 01:15:05,545 --> 01:15:07,425 you spray everything away. 1055 01:15:08,381 --> 01:15:09,551 Wow. 1056 01:15:10,258 --> 01:15:11,298 It's beautiful. 1057 01:15:17,515 --> 01:15:18,685 What? 1058 01:15:21,394 --> 01:15:22,444 Did you fix it? 1059 01:15:22,770 --> 01:15:23,810 Um... 1060 01:15:23,896 --> 01:15:24,936 Well, maybe... 1061 01:15:25,523 --> 01:15:29,443 It's, uh, part Vol... Volkswagen now. I had to imp... improvise. 1062 01:15:56,888 --> 01:15:59,508 And how are you gonna get to know a person way over there? 1063 01:16:01,017 --> 01:16:03,187 What am... What am I supposed to do? 1064 01:16:04,062 --> 01:16:06,652 Well, just make a little small talk 1065 01:16:06,814 --> 01:16:09,864 and introduce yourself, ask her to dance. 1066 01:16:10,902 --> 01:16:13,112 Okay. Hello, I'm William. 1067 01:16:13,863 --> 01:16:14,913 - Hello. - Hello. 1068 01:16:15,740 --> 01:16:17,410 - Um, I live downstairs. - Oh, yeah. 1069 01:16:17,700 --> 01:16:18,870 I'm the one with the cars. 1070 01:16:19,994 --> 01:16:21,504 Would you like to dance with me? 1071 01:16:22,288 --> 01:16:24,958 - Yes. Sure. - Okay. 1072 01:16:25,041 --> 01:16:26,211 Put your hand out, right? 1073 01:16:27,085 --> 01:16:28,215 Put the other hand here. 1074 01:16:28,795 --> 01:16:30,635 And just be there. 1075 01:16:31,673 --> 01:16:33,383 She just wants a little company. 1076 01:16:34,384 --> 01:16:35,804 Oh. 1077 01:16:36,803 --> 01:16:38,143 Okay. 1078 01:16:40,723 --> 01:16:42,273 That's nice. 1079 01:17:14,841 --> 01:17:17,881 I... I feel like I... I understand you. 1080 01:17:19,721 --> 01:17:21,051 We should get away from here. 1081 01:17:21,639 --> 01:17:23,139 Just... just me and you, you know? 1082 01:17:23,808 --> 01:17:26,598 Go up the coast, be alone somewhere. 1083 01:17:28,354 --> 01:17:30,654 Jamie, you're in love with Julie. 1084 01:17:35,778 --> 01:17:37,398 You can't let her push you around. 1085 01:17:38,364 --> 01:17:40,534 You have to tell her what you want. 1086 01:17:50,668 --> 01:17:53,208 ...if you, if you were to listen to it... 1087 01:17:53,296 --> 01:17:54,296 Right. 1088 01:17:54,672 --> 01:17:56,512 What does... what does that mean? 1089 01:17:56,591 --> 01:17:58,431 "Art Fag?" I mean what does... 1090 01:17:58,509 --> 01:18:03,259 If you were to think about it from more like a sociological perspective, 1091 01:18:03,347 --> 01:18:05,597 what does that come from? "Art Fag." 1092 01:18:05,683 --> 01:18:06,744 - I think we... - What is that? 1093 01:18:06,768 --> 01:18:09,308 - Abbie understands it. - Abbie does not understand it. 1094 01:18:09,687 --> 01:18:11,727 She's just a part of it. 1095 01:18:26,704 --> 01:18:28,624 You don't need to like it. 1096 01:18:29,207 --> 01:18:30,867 Okay, what is he saying? 1097 01:18:33,419 --> 01:18:35,499 "Head on my shoulders..." 1098 01:18:37,840 --> 01:18:38,880 "Going berserk..." 1099 01:18:39,801 --> 01:18:40,841 Right. 1100 01:18:41,010 --> 01:18:42,050 Is that interesting? 1101 01:18:42,428 --> 01:18:43,468 I don't know. 1102 01:18:43,888 --> 01:18:44,928 I don't know either. 1103 01:18:45,765 --> 01:18:47,725 I think we're maybe over-thinking this. 1104 01:19:03,866 --> 01:19:05,776 Let's try the Art Fag one. 1105 01:19:08,412 --> 01:19:10,332 Here come the Art Fags. 1106 01:19:14,377 --> 01:19:15,377 Oh, yeah. 1107 01:19:33,062 --> 01:19:34,562 All right, you ready? 1108 01:19:37,233 --> 01:19:38,533 That's it. 1109 01:19:42,113 --> 01:19:43,783 I guess we're more the Art Fag type. 1110 01:19:44,740 --> 01:19:45,740 Uh-huh. 1111 01:19:45,825 --> 01:19:47,285 I like that. 1112 01:19:48,452 --> 01:19:51,042 ♪ ...I remember from maps ♪ 1113 01:19:53,291 --> 01:19:55,831 ♪ I see the shoreline ♪ 1114 01:19:57,753 --> 01:20:00,263 ♪ I see the whitecaps ♪ 1115 01:20:01,716 --> 01:20:05,046 ♪ A baseball diamond ♪ 1116 01:20:05,887 --> 01:20:08,677 ♪ Nice weather down there ♪ 1117 01:20:10,558 --> 01:20:13,228 ♪ I see the school ♪ 1118 01:20:14,729 --> 01:20:17,809 ♪ And the houses where the kids are ♪ 1119 01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:21,400 ♪ Places to park ♪ 1120 01:20:23,195 --> 01:20:24,995 ♪ By the fac'tries and buildings... ♪ 1121 01:20:25,406 --> 01:20:27,616 Come here, inscrutable boy. 1122 01:20:31,871 --> 01:20:33,041 I gave him beer, 1123 01:20:33,456 --> 01:20:38,206 and then I... I taught him how to verbally seduce women, 1124 01:20:38,294 --> 01:20:42,014 and we drove drunk, but I stopped that, 1125 01:20:42,381 --> 01:20:43,551 and then he kissed Trish. 1126 01:20:45,301 --> 01:20:47,511 And then we walked home. 1127 01:20:49,847 --> 01:20:51,177 Ah. 1128 01:20:57,271 --> 01:20:58,941 You're not mad? 1129 01:21:00,149 --> 01:21:01,399 You're mad. 1130 01:21:07,907 --> 01:21:12,117 You get to see him out in the world as a person. 1131 01:21:13,037 --> 01:21:14,827 I never will. 1132 01:21:22,380 --> 01:21:23,670 Just... 1133 01:21:32,056 --> 01:21:33,136 There. 1134 01:22:05,131 --> 01:22:07,471 I can't believe Abbie gave you this book. 1135 01:22:09,385 --> 01:22:10,725 It's interesting. 1136 01:22:13,597 --> 01:22:16,637 What's it like... for girls? 1137 01:22:16,809 --> 01:22:19,729 What? Sex? 1138 01:22:22,106 --> 01:22:23,516 Orgasms. 1139 01:22:26,861 --> 01:22:29,151 Do you really want to know what it's like? 1140 01:22:32,283 --> 01:22:33,623 Yeah. 1141 01:22:35,077 --> 01:22:36,657 I don't have them. 1142 01:22:38,622 --> 01:22:40,122 What? 1143 01:22:41,333 --> 01:22:43,043 None of my friends do. 1144 01:22:45,963 --> 01:22:47,463 Then why do you do it? 1145 01:22:48,090 --> 01:22:49,220 There's other reasons. 1146 01:22:50,593 --> 01:22:53,053 You know, like the way that he looks at you... 1147 01:22:56,474 --> 01:22:59,274 or the way they get a little bit desperate at some point. 1148 01:23:00,853 --> 01:23:03,733 And the little sounds that they make. 1149 01:23:17,244 --> 01:23:19,204 And their bodies... 1150 01:23:21,248 --> 01:23:24,328 'cause you don't exactly know what they're gonna look like... 1151 01:23:25,961 --> 01:23:28,461 or smell or feel like... 1152 01:23:30,674 --> 01:23:31,934 until you do it. 1153 01:23:36,138 --> 01:23:39,058 But, yeah... half the time I regret it. 1154 01:23:42,853 --> 01:23:44,813 Then why do you do it? 1155 01:23:47,191 --> 01:23:49,071 'Cause half the time, I don't regret it. 1156 01:24:00,788 --> 01:24:02,408 "I am gregarious. 1157 01:24:02,498 --> 01:24:03,538 Interested in others. 1158 01:24:04,124 --> 01:24:05,294 And I think, intelligent. 1159 01:24:10,381 --> 01:24:12,471 All I ask is to get to know people 1160 01:24:12,550 --> 01:24:14,550 and to have them interested in knowing me. 1161 01:24:15,177 --> 01:24:16,847 I doubt whether I would marry again 1162 01:24:17,137 --> 01:24:19,847 and live that close to another individual, 1163 01:24:19,932 --> 01:24:22,272 but I remain invisible. 1164 01:24:23,227 --> 01:24:25,267 Don't pretend for a minute as you look at me, 1165 01:24:26,188 --> 01:24:28,188 that I am not as alive as you are, 1166 01:24:28,899 --> 01:24:31,899 and I do not suffer from the category to which you are forcing me. 1167 01:24:36,156 --> 01:24:38,366 I think, stripped down, I look more attractive 1168 01:24:38,701 --> 01:24:40,621 than my ex-husband... 1169 01:24:41,620 --> 01:24:45,870 ...but I am sexually and socially obsolete and he is not. 1170 01:24:47,209 --> 01:24:49,589 I have a capacity now for taking people as they are, 1171 01:24:49,837 --> 01:24:50,877 which I lacked at 20. 1172 01:24:52,172 --> 01:24:56,052 I reach orgasm in half the time and I know how to please, 1173 01:24:56,135 --> 01:25:00,015 yet I do not even dare show a man that I find him attractive. 1174 01:25:00,431 --> 01:25:03,981 If I do, he may react as if I have insulted him. 1175 01:25:06,061 --> 01:25:09,901 I'm supposed to fulfill my small functions and vanish." 1176 01:25:16,280 --> 01:25:17,320 Well... 1177 01:25:18,240 --> 01:25:19,870 What do you think of all that? 1178 01:25:23,412 --> 01:25:26,212 I don't know. Maybe I'm a feminist. 1179 01:25:32,171 --> 01:25:33,171 So... 1180 01:25:38,344 --> 01:25:40,304 You think that's me. 1181 01:25:41,055 --> 01:25:42,685 No, I don't know. 1182 01:25:44,183 --> 01:25:46,683 So you think you know me better because you read that? 1183 01:25:46,977 --> 01:25:48,477 No, no. 1184 01:25:51,190 --> 01:25:54,320 Then why are you reading it to me? 1185 01:25:57,154 --> 01:26:00,284 Um, I thought it was interesting. 1186 01:26:06,246 --> 01:26:08,036 Okay, well... 1187 01:26:10,709 --> 01:26:13,879 I... I don't need a book to know about myself. 1188 01:26:21,845 --> 01:26:23,265 Sorry. 1189 01:26:39,738 --> 01:26:42,198 I mean, I appreciate you trying to help. 1190 01:26:42,282 --> 01:26:45,452 I do. I just think you're taking it too far. 1191 01:26:45,703 --> 01:26:46,743 This stuff with, 1192 01:26:48,288 --> 01:26:50,118 you know, the women's movement I respect, 1193 01:26:50,207 --> 01:26:52,577 but it's just, it's complicated 1194 01:26:52,668 --> 01:26:54,588 and I think it's too much for him. 1195 01:26:54,670 --> 01:26:57,110 What are... I don't know what it is that you're talking about. 1196 01:26:57,172 --> 01:26:59,802 - Okay. He's a 15-year-old boy. - I know. 1197 01:26:59,883 --> 01:27:02,263 You're giving him hard core feminism, and it-it... 1198 01:27:02,928 --> 01:27:04,608 But he really loves it, and it's really... 1199 01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:06,560 - It's helping him... - Helping him what? 1200 01:27:07,307 --> 01:27:08,618 It's helping him become a man, th... 1201 01:27:08,642 --> 01:27:10,122 What you were talking about. It's like... 1202 01:27:10,144 --> 01:27:12,694 Learning about a female orgasm is helping him be a man? 1203 01:27:12,896 --> 01:27:15,436 Well, what man do you know that cares anything about that? 1204 01:27:15,524 --> 01:27:17,234 - Look, he's... - I mean that's a miracle. 1205 01:27:17,317 --> 01:27:18,857 But he is a high school kid, okay? 1206 01:27:19,319 --> 01:27:22,239 It's too much. I'm telling you. 1207 01:27:25,325 --> 01:27:27,585 I think he seems really okay with it. 1208 01:27:29,121 --> 01:27:31,961 You know you don't actually know what you're doing with him? 1209 01:27:34,293 --> 01:27:38,763 Okay? So... just... 1210 01:27:41,508 --> 01:27:43,298 As you know, 1211 01:27:43,385 --> 01:27:47,565 there is a growing disrespect for government, 1212 01:27:47,639 --> 01:27:49,969 for schools, the news media 1213 01:27:50,142 --> 01:27:51,272 and other institutions. 1214 01:27:52,519 --> 01:27:56,729 This is not a message of happiness or reassurance. 1215 01:27:57,316 --> 01:27:59,276 But it is the truth 1216 01:27:59,568 --> 01:28:01,398 and it is a warning. 1217 01:28:02,738 --> 01:28:04,278 It is a crisis... of confidence. 1218 01:28:08,285 --> 01:28:09,335 We can see this crisis 1219 01:28:10,287 --> 01:28:12,827 in the growing doubt about the meaning of our own lives 1220 01:28:13,457 --> 01:28:15,117 and in the loss of a unity of purpose 1221 01:28:16,460 --> 01:28:18,090 for our nation. 1222 01:28:19,630 --> 01:28:20,670 Too many of us now 1223 01:28:21,799 --> 01:28:26,589 tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. 1224 01:28:27,387 --> 01:28:28,427 But we've discovered 1225 01:28:29,431 --> 01:28:31,561 that owning things and consuming things... 1226 01:28:34,186 --> 01:28:35,226 does not satisfy 1227 01:28:36,396 --> 01:28:39,266 our longing for meaning. 1228 01:28:41,110 --> 01:28:42,900 We always believed... 1229 01:28:43,946 --> 01:28:46,776 that we were part of a great movement 1230 01:28:46,865 --> 01:28:47,915 of humanity itself... 1231 01:28:49,326 --> 01:28:52,366 involved in a search for freedom. 1232 01:28:57,417 --> 01:29:00,877 We are at a turning point in our history. 1233 01:29:03,340 --> 01:29:07,470 The path that leads to fragmentation and self-interest. 1234 01:29:08,804 --> 01:29:12,684 Down that road lies a mistaken idea of freedom. 1235 01:29:14,643 --> 01:29:18,313 It is a certain route to failure. 1236 01:29:20,899 --> 01:29:22,979 Thank you and good night. 1237 01:29:25,112 --> 01:29:27,492 Wow. He is so screwed. 1238 01:29:28,365 --> 01:29:29,415 No shit. 1239 01:29:29,867 --> 01:29:31,447 It's over for him. 1240 01:29:32,661 --> 01:29:35,001 I thought that was beautiful. 1241 01:29:36,456 --> 01:29:40,706 Well, why didn't you just say, "I'm sorry, I'm done?" 1242 01:29:41,086 --> 01:29:42,126 My pride. 1243 01:29:42,504 --> 01:29:43,674 - I know. - Yeah, it's... 1244 01:29:43,797 --> 01:29:46,417 You didn't seem like a prideful person. You seem humble. 1245 01:29:46,508 --> 01:29:50,048 I left my pride outside today. 1246 01:29:51,138 --> 01:29:53,308 Jamie, would you please wake up Abbie? 1247 01:29:55,517 --> 01:29:58,767 - Yeah. Abbie? - No, stop it. I'm menstruating. 1248 01:30:00,355 --> 01:30:01,405 Abbie, you know what? 1249 01:30:01,940 --> 01:30:04,650 You're menstruating. Okay. But do you have to say it? 1250 01:30:05,611 --> 01:30:09,031 Okay? And do we really need to know everything that's going on with you? 1251 01:30:09,448 --> 01:30:11,698 What? I'm menstruating. 1252 01:30:12,326 --> 01:30:13,366 Why is that a big deal? 1253 01:30:13,577 --> 01:30:16,247 We don't need to hear about that. Thank you. 1254 01:30:17,414 --> 01:30:20,004 If you ever want to have an adult relationship with a woman, 1255 01:30:20,083 --> 01:30:22,423 like if you want to have sex with a woman's vagina, 1256 01:30:22,628 --> 01:30:23,838 you need to be comfortable 1257 01:30:24,254 --> 01:30:27,304 with the fact that the vagina menstruates, 1258 01:30:27,382 --> 01:30:29,552 and just say menstruation. It's not a big deal. 1259 01:30:29,635 --> 01:30:33,355 So start saying it now. Menstruation. 1260 01:30:34,389 --> 01:30:37,269 - Now? - Yes. Menstruation. 1261 01:30:37,976 --> 01:30:39,016 Menstruation. 1262 01:30:39,311 --> 01:30:41,271 Jamie, no, you don't have to. 1263 01:30:41,730 --> 01:30:43,041 You're saying it like you're scared. 1264 01:30:43,065 --> 01:30:44,255 - Don't say it like you're scared. - Abbie. 1265 01:30:44,274 --> 01:30:46,284 - Say it like it's normal. - Menstruation. 1266 01:30:46,526 --> 01:30:48,106 - Menstruation. - Menstruation. 1267 01:30:48,195 --> 01:30:52,115 Not bad. Julian, menstruation. You can say it. Right now. 1268 01:30:52,991 --> 01:30:55,831 - I'm sorry. - Uh, men... menstruation. 1269 01:30:56,161 --> 01:30:58,911 Just keep eye contact with me. What... Who are you looking at? 1270 01:30:58,997 --> 01:31:01,207 - Menstruation. - Menstruation. 1271 01:31:01,291 --> 01:31:03,001 Yeah, that's right. Menstruation. 1272 01:31:03,168 --> 01:31:05,998 Charlie, you're quiet. Menstruation? 1273 01:31:06,088 --> 01:31:07,298 Menstruation? 1274 01:31:07,381 --> 01:31:09,671 No, not like a question. Menstruation. 1275 01:31:10,550 --> 01:31:13,010 - Menstruation. - Now everybody say it together. 1276 01:31:13,595 --> 01:31:15,225 Menstruation. 1277 01:31:15,347 --> 01:31:18,597 Like gentle, happy, but casual. And... 1278 01:31:18,976 --> 01:31:20,016 Menstruation. 1279 01:31:20,519 --> 01:31:21,559 It's gross, Abbie. 1280 01:31:21,770 --> 01:31:25,770 No, it's... it's not gross. It's a very deep time creatively, 1281 01:31:25,941 --> 01:31:28,401 and it's emotionally transformative. 1282 01:31:29,111 --> 01:31:30,651 And sex during menstruation 1283 01:31:31,363 --> 01:31:33,073 can be very pleasurable for a woman. 1284 01:31:33,240 --> 01:31:36,330 It can even, like, relieve some of the cramps. 1285 01:31:36,410 --> 01:31:39,580 Jamie, I also wanna say never have sex with just the vagina. 1286 01:31:39,663 --> 01:31:41,303 You have to have sex with the whole woman. 1287 01:31:42,958 --> 01:31:44,998 That's slightly off topic of what I'm talking about. 1288 01:31:45,043 --> 01:31:46,093 You too? You too, William? 1289 01:31:46,169 --> 01:31:47,999 - I mean... Thank you. - But that's okay. 1290 01:31:48,422 --> 01:31:50,512 The first time that I got my period, 1291 01:31:50,757 --> 01:31:51,797 I was watching 1292 01:31:52,676 --> 01:31:54,136 One That Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest 1293 01:31:54,219 --> 01:31:55,259 with some guy. 1294 01:31:55,721 --> 01:31:57,141 And, um... 1295 01:31:57,639 --> 01:31:59,519 Yeah, I just told him that I had to leave, 1296 01:32:00,225 --> 01:32:03,605 so I went to the market and I bought a box of tampons, 1297 01:32:03,687 --> 01:32:06,307 and I read the instructions on the box and I put one in... 1298 01:32:06,523 --> 01:32:08,213 - Julie? - and I never told my mom about it, 1299 01:32:08,233 --> 01:32:10,533 but she never asked, so it didn't matter. 1300 01:32:11,695 --> 01:32:14,535 And I never saw the end of the Cuckoo's Nest. 1301 01:32:17,034 --> 01:32:20,294 Jack Nicholson got a lobotomy, and so the big Indian guy 1302 01:32:20,537 --> 01:32:22,577 smothered him with a pillow so that he could, 1303 01:32:22,664 --> 01:32:23,794 you know, be free and... 1304 01:32:24,041 --> 01:32:25,521 Okay, let's talk about something else. 1305 01:32:25,751 --> 01:32:27,171 - Would you mind? - When I was 14, 1306 01:32:27,252 --> 01:32:28,592 I had sex for the first time. 1307 01:32:28,754 --> 01:32:29,804 Julie! 1308 01:32:29,921 --> 01:32:31,381 Julie, please. You... Honey... 1309 01:32:32,049 --> 01:32:34,839 I decided one night that I was just gonna lose my virginity. 1310 01:32:35,052 --> 01:32:36,262 I didn't care who it was to. 1311 01:32:36,553 --> 01:32:39,013 - Julie, you gotta calm down. - Stop it. Let her talk. 1312 01:32:39,264 --> 01:32:41,564 I picked this guy that I didn't know at a party... 1313 01:32:42,309 --> 01:32:46,439 and we had fairly painful sex in his van. 1314 01:32:46,521 --> 01:32:48,061 It was just parked on the street. 1315 01:32:48,774 --> 01:32:50,444 He just used spit for lubrication. 1316 01:32:53,695 --> 01:32:55,655 I made it home on time for curfew, though. 1317 01:32:55,822 --> 01:32:58,572 His carpet smelled like spilled bong water. 1318 01:33:04,247 --> 01:33:05,407 Okay, um... 1319 01:33:06,500 --> 01:33:08,540 let's call it a night. All right? 1320 01:33:08,668 --> 01:33:10,708 Thanks all for coming. Show's over, girls. 1321 01:33:12,339 --> 01:33:14,049 Thank you so much for coming. 1322 01:33:16,593 --> 01:33:18,263 Jamie, we need to talk. 1323 01:33:19,012 --> 01:33:20,972 There's a lot of stuff happening, right? 1324 01:33:21,640 --> 01:33:25,430 And I just would like to know what's going on with you. 1325 01:33:26,353 --> 01:33:28,903 I mean, I know this has all been a lot for us to deal with. 1326 01:33:30,649 --> 01:33:33,319 Mom, I'm dealing with everything right now. 1327 01:33:33,902 --> 01:33:36,282 You are dealing with nothing. 1328 01:33:49,709 --> 01:33:51,839 I can't believe you told everyone all that. 1329 01:33:52,963 --> 01:33:54,963 I can say what I want to say. 1330 01:33:57,175 --> 01:33:58,845 They're gonna think you're some... 1331 01:33:59,803 --> 01:34:01,723 They're gonna get the wrong idea about you. 1332 01:34:01,805 --> 01:34:02,855 What? 1333 01:34:03,390 --> 01:34:04,930 That I'm a slut? 1334 01:34:07,519 --> 01:34:08,889 Is that what you think? 1335 01:34:13,233 --> 01:34:15,403 You can't sleep here anymore... 1336 01:34:16,319 --> 01:34:17,989 and just want to talk. 1337 01:34:22,033 --> 01:34:23,453 Really? 1338 01:34:26,163 --> 01:34:27,583 Yeah. 1339 01:34:31,126 --> 01:34:32,746 Jamie. 1340 01:34:37,966 --> 01:34:39,466 I'm sorry. 1341 01:34:43,722 --> 01:34:46,182 I am sorry, okay? 1342 01:34:50,770 --> 01:34:53,650 Let's... let's just get out of here. 1343 01:34:55,108 --> 01:34:58,738 Let's go up the coast like... like you said that we would. 1344 01:35:00,906 --> 01:35:01,946 Just the two of us. 1345 01:35:10,790 --> 01:35:11,960 Mom... 1346 01:35:12,918 --> 01:35:14,708 Julie and I took the car. 1347 01:35:16,838 --> 01:35:18,588 We're taking a trip up the coast... 1348 01:35:19,841 --> 01:35:21,591 just to get away. 1349 01:35:22,552 --> 01:35:24,092 You don't need to worry about us. 1350 01:36:22,529 --> 01:36:24,359 Hey, do you think that you could, um... 1351 01:36:25,657 --> 01:36:27,367 buy us some, like, wine coolers? 1352 01:36:27,993 --> 01:36:29,123 You can keep the change. 1353 01:36:30,120 --> 01:36:32,870 Strawberry or anything berry, really. 1354 01:36:42,841 --> 01:36:43,881 Hi. What's the matter? 1355 01:36:44,259 --> 01:36:45,299 Hi. 1356 01:36:45,594 --> 01:36:47,974 You changed lanes in the intersection back there. 1357 01:36:48,680 --> 01:36:50,220 Seriously? That's all? 1358 01:36:51,224 --> 01:36:53,354 I need to see your license and registration. 1359 01:36:54,352 --> 01:36:57,022 Well, what if I don't have my license? 1360 01:36:58,648 --> 01:37:00,751 Okay, well what's your name, address and date of birth? 1361 01:37:00,775 --> 01:37:01,825 Do you have that? 1362 01:37:01,985 --> 01:37:04,155 You know, those are very personal questions, 1363 01:37:04,529 --> 01:37:05,569 and we've just met. 1364 01:37:06,489 --> 01:37:09,369 What's your name? What's your address, right? 1365 01:37:09,451 --> 01:37:11,411 I mean, it's a little forward. 1366 01:37:38,938 --> 01:37:41,398 I, uh, I love you. 1367 01:37:49,407 --> 01:37:50,947 What's wrong? 1368 01:37:51,868 --> 01:37:52,988 Nothing. 1369 01:37:58,083 --> 01:37:59,173 Tell me. 1370 01:38:05,048 --> 01:38:07,758 I think that I'm too close to you... 1371 01:38:08,968 --> 01:38:10,678 to have sex with you. 1372 01:38:13,181 --> 01:38:15,021 I know it's confusing. 1373 01:38:17,060 --> 01:38:18,270 I'm sorry. 1374 01:38:23,024 --> 01:38:24,364 I can... 1375 01:38:25,151 --> 01:38:26,651 I can help you get over that. 1376 01:38:29,906 --> 01:38:32,026 I don't want to get over that. 1377 01:38:34,911 --> 01:38:36,041 Yes, you do. 1378 01:38:37,872 --> 01:38:39,502 You're being like the other guys. 1379 01:38:40,041 --> 01:38:42,251 I don't wanna just have sex with you. 1380 01:38:43,253 --> 01:38:44,383 I want you. 1381 01:38:45,088 --> 01:38:47,088 But it's your version of me. 1382 01:38:49,217 --> 01:38:50,627 It's not me. 1383 01:38:52,846 --> 01:38:55,006 It would be a lot better if you just wanted sex. 1384 01:38:56,141 --> 01:38:57,851 You are exactly like the other guys. 1385 01:38:59,018 --> 01:39:01,478 You just seem like you're all modern. 1386 01:39:14,409 --> 01:39:16,029 Jamie. 1387 01:39:17,620 --> 01:39:19,080 Jamie. 1388 01:39:19,914 --> 01:39:20,964 Jamie! 1389 01:39:52,071 --> 01:39:54,991 These people have no sense of humor. 1390 01:40:13,051 --> 01:40:15,761 Having a kid seems like... 1391 01:40:17,096 --> 01:40:18,966 the hardest thing. 1392 01:40:20,683 --> 01:40:22,023 Yeah. 1393 01:40:23,561 --> 01:40:25,481 How much you love the kid... 1394 01:40:29,943 --> 01:40:32,493 You're just pretty much screwed. 1395 01:40:44,749 --> 01:40:46,749 - Well, it's good for you. - Hi. Uh... 1396 01:40:46,835 --> 01:40:47,965 Hey. 1397 01:40:48,878 --> 01:40:50,998 Julie just called me. They're in San Louis Obispo. 1398 01:40:51,089 --> 01:40:52,419 She doesn't know where he is. 1399 01:40:52,674 --> 01:40:54,054 She can't find him. 1400 01:40:55,218 --> 01:40:57,048 - I... Would you drive me... - Yes, I will. 1401 01:40:57,303 --> 01:40:58,763 - ...up there? - Yep. Let's go. 1402 01:40:58,930 --> 01:41:00,600 - Will you come? - Yes. 1403 01:41:45,143 --> 01:41:46,773 I'm sorry. 1404 01:41:51,608 --> 01:41:53,188 He came back. 1405 01:41:54,319 --> 01:41:55,989 He's right there. 1406 01:41:57,864 --> 01:42:00,244 Okay. Okay. 1407 01:42:04,287 --> 01:42:05,697 It's okay. 1408 01:42:28,478 --> 01:42:29,728 Well... 1409 01:42:30,229 --> 01:42:32,019 Julie's a pretty complicated woman. 1410 01:42:33,191 --> 01:42:34,781 It's a lot to take on, 1411 01:42:35,109 --> 01:42:37,029 but I'm impressed in a way. 1412 01:42:39,238 --> 01:42:40,318 Whatever. 1413 01:42:50,708 --> 01:42:52,078 Aren't you gonna get Julie... 1414 01:42:52,877 --> 01:42:53,997 to come talk with me? 1415 01:42:54,587 --> 01:42:56,087 Jamie! 1416 01:42:56,255 --> 01:42:57,305 What? 1417 01:42:57,757 --> 01:42:59,337 I... I thought they'd help. 1418 01:43:00,802 --> 01:43:04,302 Well, it just seemed like you couldn't deal with me anymore. 1419 01:43:06,557 --> 01:43:07,927 Look. 1420 01:43:08,726 --> 01:43:12,476 I wanted... I... I... 1421 01:43:13,314 --> 01:43:14,694 Look, I... 1422 01:43:16,150 --> 01:43:19,240 I don't want you to end up in the same place as me. 1423 01:43:21,906 --> 01:43:23,366 What does that mean? 1424 01:43:24,409 --> 01:43:26,739 Well, I wanted you to be happier. 1425 01:43:28,913 --> 01:43:32,923 And I just didn't think I could do it by myself. I... 1426 01:43:36,379 --> 01:43:37,589 Okay. 1427 01:43:39,632 --> 01:43:41,842 I thought we were fine, though, just me and you. 1428 01:43:48,975 --> 01:43:50,355 Yeah? 1429 01:43:52,729 --> 01:43:54,099 Yeah. 1430 01:44:27,305 --> 01:44:29,105 Okay. Come on. 1431 01:44:29,223 --> 01:44:30,603 Come on. Dance with your mom. 1432 01:45:29,826 --> 01:45:30,866 - Bye. - Bye. 1433 01:45:31,494 --> 01:45:32,624 Bye. 1434 01:45:34,497 --> 01:45:35,537 - Be safe. - Bye. 1435 01:45:35,790 --> 01:45:37,500 Bye. Bye. 1436 01:45:47,176 --> 01:45:49,506 So maybe we don't go back yet. 1437 01:45:52,473 --> 01:45:53,523 Okay. 1438 01:46:03,860 --> 01:46:05,940 Were you and Dad ever in love? 1439 01:46:06,612 --> 01:46:08,032 Sure. 1440 01:46:13,536 --> 01:46:15,116 Or, um... 1441 01:46:16,414 --> 01:46:17,464 Maybe I was just... 1442 01:46:19,792 --> 01:46:21,962 I felt I was supposed to be in love. 1443 01:46:23,045 --> 01:46:25,965 Or I was... 1444 01:46:26,173 --> 01:46:28,843 I was scared I'd never be in love... 1445 01:46:30,928 --> 01:46:32,968 so I... I... 1446 01:46:34,557 --> 01:46:37,387 I just picked the best solution at the time. 1447 01:46:48,362 --> 01:46:49,992 I wanna bleach my hair. 1448 01:46:50,573 --> 01:46:53,533 Kid... really? 1449 01:46:54,452 --> 01:46:55,872 Yeah. 1450 01:47:04,420 --> 01:47:05,800 Okay. 1451 01:47:10,968 --> 01:47:12,468 Are you lonely? 1452 01:47:13,721 --> 01:47:14,761 Well... 1453 01:47:15,556 --> 01:47:18,636 I might marry Bogart in my next life. 1454 01:47:19,101 --> 01:47:20,141 We'll see. 1455 01:47:20,353 --> 01:47:21,393 I'm thinking about it. 1456 01:47:22,605 --> 01:47:24,525 Uh, he's dead. 1457 01:47:25,775 --> 01:47:27,285 Well... 1458 01:47:27,902 --> 01:47:29,192 This is my next life, right? 1459 01:47:30,196 --> 01:47:31,606 So... 1460 01:47:32,657 --> 01:47:33,697 he may be there. 1461 01:47:33,783 --> 01:47:36,993 He may be around and we might meet and... 1462 01:47:38,329 --> 01:47:40,829 something might happen between us. 1463 01:47:42,416 --> 01:47:44,576 Okay, um... 1464 01:47:45,461 --> 01:47:47,301 you can't have it in the real world? 1465 01:47:47,922 --> 01:47:50,052 Hey. This is no time to be rational, sweetie. 1466 01:47:50,925 --> 01:47:52,095 Can you just go with this? 1467 01:47:53,552 --> 01:47:54,592 Yeah. Keep going. 1468 01:47:55,221 --> 01:47:56,601 Okay. 1469 01:47:57,515 --> 01:47:59,145 So he... he knows what I'm thinking, 1470 01:48:01,018 --> 01:48:03,018 and he makes me laugh... 1471 01:48:04,230 --> 01:48:06,690 and he really sees me... 1472 01:48:08,025 --> 01:48:11,865 and you know that he's gonna do what he says he's gonna do, 1473 01:48:11,946 --> 01:48:14,486 so that's easy. 1474 01:48:15,449 --> 01:48:17,279 He sounds nice. 1475 01:48:18,577 --> 01:48:19,617 Yeah. 1476 01:48:27,336 --> 01:48:28,563 I thought that was just the beginning 1477 01:48:28,587 --> 01:48:30,207 of a new relationship with her... 1478 01:48:32,216 --> 01:48:34,426 where she'd really tell me stuff... 1479 01:48:36,804 --> 01:48:39,564 but maybe it was never really like that again. 1480 01:48:41,308 --> 01:48:42,978 Maybe that was it. 1481 01:48:44,729 --> 01:48:46,599 In March of 1999, 1482 01:48:47,189 --> 01:48:49,479 I'll start to feel tired and confused. 1483 01:48:50,609 --> 01:48:52,109 When I finally go to the doctor, 1484 01:48:52,361 --> 01:48:54,151 he will say that the cancer in my lungs 1485 01:48:54,947 --> 01:48:58,827 had already traveled to my breast and brain. 1486 01:48:59,493 --> 01:49:02,373 I'll try to teach Jamie what to do with my stocks, 1487 01:49:02,455 --> 01:49:06,175 but my instructions will be impossible to understand. 1488 01:49:11,964 --> 01:49:13,634 See you later. 1489 01:49:20,056 --> 01:49:23,096 Abbie will take me to Planned Parenthood... 1490 01:49:23,893 --> 01:49:25,813 and I will go on the pill. 1491 01:49:29,815 --> 01:49:31,825 I will go to NYU 1492 01:49:31,901 --> 01:49:33,901 and lose touch with Jamie and Dorothea... 1493 01:49:35,738 --> 01:49:38,108 and I will stop talking to my mom. 1494 01:49:39,658 --> 01:49:41,368 I will fall in love with Nicholas... 1495 01:49:42,578 --> 01:49:44,498 and we'll move to Paris... 1496 01:49:45,623 --> 01:49:47,333 and choose not to have children. 1497 01:49:49,627 --> 01:49:51,957 I will stay in Santa Barbara. 1498 01:49:52,463 --> 01:49:54,133 In just two years, I'll marry Dave. 1499 01:49:56,092 --> 01:49:57,382 A month after I get married, 1500 01:49:58,469 --> 01:50:00,389 Carlotta will die. 1501 01:50:02,681 --> 01:50:06,391 A week later, Max will die, too. 1502 01:50:07,895 --> 01:50:09,565 I will work out of my garage 1503 01:50:09,647 --> 01:50:12,517 and show in local galleries. 1504 01:50:13,734 --> 01:50:15,074 Against my doctor's advice, 1505 01:50:15,569 --> 01:50:16,609 I will get pregnant. 1506 01:50:17,571 --> 01:50:18,611 By the time I'm 34, 1507 01:50:19,406 --> 01:50:20,446 I'll have two boys. 1508 01:50:25,287 --> 01:50:27,827 I'll live with Dorothea for another year... 1509 01:50:30,167 --> 01:50:34,627 and then I'll open a pottery store in Sedona, Arizona. 1510 01:50:37,591 --> 01:50:39,591 I'll marry Laurie, a singer-songwriter. 1511 01:50:40,594 --> 01:50:42,354 We'll get divorced in a year. 1512 01:50:43,139 --> 01:50:44,259 Then I'll meet Sandy... 1513 01:50:45,558 --> 01:50:47,178 and continue to do my pottery. 1514 01:50:50,396 --> 01:50:52,686 My mom will meet Jim in 1983. 1515 01:50:54,191 --> 01:50:56,031 They will stay a couple until she dies. 1516 01:50:57,611 --> 01:50:58,821 On her birthday each year, 1517 01:50:59,738 --> 01:51:02,658 he will buy her a trip on a biplane. 1518 01:51:05,286 --> 01:51:07,656 Years after she's gone, I will finally get married 1519 01:51:07,746 --> 01:51:09,576 and have a son. 1520 01:51:11,375 --> 01:51:12,585 I will try to explain to him 1521 01:51:12,960 --> 01:51:15,130 what his grandmother was like... 1522 01:51:16,630 --> 01:51:18,010 but it will be impossible. 1523 01:51:26,682 --> 01:51:29,312 ♪ You must remember this ♪ 1524 01:51:29,685 --> 01:51:31,735 ♪ A kiss is still a kiss ♪ 1525 01:51:31,812 --> 01:51:35,692 ♪ A sigh is just a sigh ♪ 1526 01:51:36,567 --> 01:51:39,487 ♪ The fundamental things apply ♪ 1527 01:51:39,778 --> 01:51:44,278 ♪ As time goes by ♪ 1528 01:51:45,201 --> 01:51:47,411 ♪ And when two lovers woo ♪ 1529 01:51:47,786 --> 01:51:49,246 ♪ They still say I love you ♪ 1530 01:51:49,872 --> 01:51:53,002 ♪ On that you can rely ♪ 1531 01:51:53,792 --> 01:51:57,132 ♪ No matter what the future brings ♪ 1532 01:51:57,296 --> 01:52:01,926 ♪ As time goes by ♪ 1533 01:52:03,135 --> 01:52:06,225 ♪ Moonlight and love songs never out of date ♪ 1534 01:52:06,639 --> 01:52:09,599 ♪ Hearts full of passion jealousy and hate ♪ 1535 01:52:09,850 --> 01:52:14,480 ♪ Woman needs man and man must have his mate ♪ 1536 01:52:14,647 --> 01:52:19,567 ♪ That no one can deny ♪ 1537 01:52:20,361 --> 01:52:23,111 ♪ It's still the same old story ♪ 1538 01:52:23,197 --> 01:52:25,567 ♪ A fight for love and glory ♪ 1539 01:52:25,866 --> 01:52:27,986 ♪ A case of do or die ♪ 1540 01:52:29,954 --> 01:52:31,624 ♪ The world will always welcome... 1541 01:52:54,311 --> 01:52:59,321 ♪ Well it seems so real I can see it ♪ 1542 01:52:59,942 --> 01:53:04,822 ♪ And it seems so real I can feel it ♪ 1543 01:53:05,406 --> 01:53:10,366 ♪ And it seems so real I can taste it ♪ 1544 01:53:11,161 --> 01:53:16,831 ♪ And it seems so real I can hear it ♪ 1545 01:53:17,126 --> 01:53:22,456 ♪ So why ♪ 1546 01:53:22,548 --> 01:53:25,128 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪ 1547 01:53:28,345 --> 01:53:33,685 ♪ So why ♪ 1548 01:53:33,767 --> 01:53:35,977 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪ 1549 01:53:44,403 --> 01:53:49,073 ♪ Then it looks so real I can see it ♪ 1550 01:53:50,117 --> 01:53:55,247 ♪ And it feels so real I can feel it ♪ 1551 01:53:55,998 --> 01:54:00,748 ♪ And it tastes so real I can taste it ♪ 1552 01:54:01,712 --> 01:54:07,302 ♪ And it sounds so real I can hear it ♪ 1553 01:54:07,468 --> 01:54:12,678 ♪ So why ♪ 1554 01:54:12,765 --> 01:54:15,105 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪ 1555 01:54:18,896 --> 01:54:23,686 ♪ So why ♪ 1556 01:54:23,776 --> 01:54:25,896 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪ 1557 01:54:46,131 --> 01:54:51,181 ♪ Then it looks so real I can feel it ♪ 1558 01:54:51,970 --> 01:54:56,720 ♪ And it feels so real I can taste it ♪ 1559 01:54:57,935 --> 01:55:01,985 ♪ And it tastes so real I can hear it ♪ 1560 01:55:03,273 --> 01:55:07,493 ♪ And it sounds so real I can see it ♪ 1561 01:55:09,405 --> 01:55:14,535 ♪ So why ♪ 1562 01:55:14,618 --> 01:55:16,908 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪ 1563 01:55:20,332 --> 01:55:25,382 ♪ So why ♪ 1564 01:55:25,462 --> 01:55:27,592 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪ 1565 01:56:15,304 --> 01:56:20,224 ♪ Now it is so real I can see it ♪ 1566 01:56:21,018 --> 01:56:25,518 ♪ And it is so real I can feel it ♪ 1567 01:56:26,565 --> 01:56:31,445 ♪ And it is so real I can hear it ♪ 1568 01:56:32,112 --> 01:56:37,122 ♪ And it is so real I can feel it ♪ 1569 01:56:38,118 --> 01:56:42,908 ♪ So why ♪ 1570 01:56:42,998 --> 01:56:45,498 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪ 1571 01:56:49,046 --> 01:56:53,926 ♪ So why ♪ 1572 01:56:54,009 --> 01:56:56,639 ♪ Can't I touch it? ♪