1
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:15,081
Okay.

2
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:21,588
I can't imagine spending
my life with anyone else.

3
00:00:22,922 --> 00:00:27,394
You are the most beautiful,
sweet, kind-hearted person

4
00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:31,598
I've ever met, and you make me
happier than I have ever been.

5
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:34,734
If you give me the chance,
I would love to spend

6
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:38,905
the rest of my life trying to
make you feel the same way.

7
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:41,574
Will... you marry me?

8
00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:46,279
Oh, you're done?

9
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,415
- Yep.
- No, it was good. It was good.

10
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,250
- A little generic, but good.
- Generic?

11
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:51,661
Come on, that was
some top-tier shit.

12
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:53,253
It was shit,
I'm not arguing that.

13
00:00:53,286 --> 00:00:55,155
Okay, and I'm going
to beat you to death.

14
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,666
Even your death threats
have gotten generic.

15
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,625
I'm not done yet, I'm gonna
kill you, chop you up

16
00:00:58,658 --> 00:01:00,527
in little pieces and
throw you in a river.

17
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,405
Well, if it were me,
I would grind up your guts,

18
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:04,040
turn you into an aged
sausage, then feed you

19
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,307
to people I don't like
at dinner parties.

20
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,167
Two birds, one stone,
I like that.

21
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:08,944
- Thank you.
- I would-I would bleed you out.

22
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:10,503
And use your skin as a coat.

23
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:11,938
Oh, that doesn't
sound very warm.

24
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,207
- On a fall day with a cardigan?
- See, that's poetic.

25
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,651
Why don't you use that
in your proposal?

26
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,253
No, no, Taylor, I don't
think she'll go for that.

27
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,754
Well, if she doesn't
respond favorably

28
00:01:18,778 --> 00:01:20,656
to the idea of you wearing her
skin on a fall day,

29
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,158
then I don't think
she's the girl for you.

30
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:23,492
She is, and you're gonna
meet her.

31
00:01:23,516 --> 00:01:24,660
- And you're gonna love her.
- Mm, yeah.

32
00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:26,195
I don't know about that.
You haven't had

33
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:27,654
great taste in women
since college.

34
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,656
Plus, if she's so great,
then why have you been

35
00:01:29,689 --> 00:01:31,667
hiding her from me for the last
two times I've been out here?

36
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,159
I didn't want you to
scare her away.

37
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:37,163
Oh, by the way, I know
you like to snoop around,

38
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:39,432
I put all the good stuff
in the top sock drawer.

39
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,301
Thank you.
Are you sure it's cool

40
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:42,969
if I crash with you for so long?

41
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,537
I can always get an Airbnb.

42
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:45,982
Uh, I can't really
afford that, but...

43
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:49,309
Stop. You're always welcome,
okay? Breakup or not.

44
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,811
- Thank you. I appreciate it.
- Of course, dude.

45
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,848
Now, get out of my car.
I have to go.

46
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,649
- Okay.
- Oh, by the way.

47
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,184
Do you mind showering
before dinner

48
00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,029
because you kinda smell
like an airplane toilet.

49
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,797
Thank you for noticing.
You know, this car makes you

50
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:03,332
look like a child molester,
in case you're wondering

51
00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:04,533
why the cops are knocking
at your door.

52
00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:06,359
- Okay.
- Awesome. Have a great day.

53
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:09,863
- Thank you do much. You too.
- Yep, have a good day at work.

54
00:02:09,896 --> 00:02:13,767
- Thank you. Oh, your key.
- Oh, God, thanks.

55
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:18,571
- Bye, honey! Bye, sweetheart!
- Okay, bye! Bye, honey!

56
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:19,572
<i>Half past the hour</i>

57
00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,474
<i>on this snowy Chicago morning.</i>

58
00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:24,544
<i>Here's some Aaron Espe
that'll weather the storm.</i>

59
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,430
Carl, what's up, dude?

60
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,398
- Hey!
- Oh, hi!

61
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,968
Funny seeing you here.

62
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:32,405
Actually, that's perfect because
I came back up to give you this.

63
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,907
You left it at my place
last night.

64
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,142
- What would I do without you?
- Get fired, I think.

65
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,844
- I can adapt.
- You're too old to adapt.

66
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:40,313
- That's true.
- Yeah, okay. I am late.

67
00:04:40,347 --> 00:04:41,791
And my Stevens meeting
got moved uptown,

68
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,359
so I won't have time to
get the dry cleaning.

69
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:46,152
I got it. This elevator's
taking forever.

70
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,524
- The button. Right.
- Yeah.

71
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:53,518
- What would you do without me?
- See you tonight?

72
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:58,298
- 7:30. Thank you. I love you.
- I love you.

73
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,136
I don't think it went.

74
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,114
Okay. I'm buying a pretzel.

75
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,615
Hey, we're about to eat dinner.

76
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,193
You keep saying that
and I'm still starving.

77
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,494
I told you not to smoke
all of that.

78
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,686
You also said this bitch was

79
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:21,187
going to be here
twenty minutes ago.

80
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,032
Hey, you need to chill.
Taylor has a thing about pot,

81
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,800
and I want her to like you,
so please just...

82
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,559
- Here she comes. Here she comes.
- Hi!

83
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:29,062
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
My, my cab driver hit a pigeon

84
00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,064
and he was inconsolable,
and I felt terrible

85
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:32,641
leaving him and it
was this whole thing.

86
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,967
Ah! Hey!

87
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,102
Do you think that pigeon's
up for grabs?

88
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:39,939
Uh, Taylor, Lexa. Lexa, Taylor.

89
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,510
- You're Lexa?
- Yes. Right? Yeah.

90
00:05:43,543 --> 00:05:45,879
- Nice to meet you.
- Okay, let's eat.

91
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,682
Uh, yeah, yeah, we know a great
Italian bistro a few blocks out.

92
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:51,885
- What about this place?
- My place has great focaccia.

93
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,687
This place has a buffet.

94
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,422
Oh, it also has
a, a D health rating.

95
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:57,757
I've never even seen a D before.

96
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,459
Don't.

97
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,003
Well, did you know that
there's enough alcohol

98
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,638
in one cocktail to kill
most food-borne illnesses?

99
00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:04,464
That doesn't sound like science.

100
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,009
Come on. Hole In The Walls
have the best food.

101
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,336
Back me up on this, Pistol Pete.

102
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,941
- Okay, smell it.
- Yes, it's got nectar in it.

103
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,778
Passion fruit and nectar.
Do you smell it?

104
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,780
Yeah, but I also got
my lipstick on you.

105
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,749
- You guys are cute.
- Oh, thank you.

106
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:25,785
It's really sweet.
Uh, so what about you?

107
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,254
Peter tells me that you were
dating someone back in New York.

108
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:31,257
Luke. Yeah, I was. Past tense.

109
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,492
No, it's fine.

110
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:33,669
I broke up with him actually.

111
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:35,295
Um, he had these
really big teeth.

112
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,063
It was like making out
with a Steinway.

113
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:39,041
I used to be like that, I used
to end things with guys

114
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,167
over the littlest things,
like they're going bald,

115
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,870
or they like ironic mugs,
or they have two first names.

116
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,673
And then she found me,
the perfect male specimen.

117
00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:49,743
No. I, um, realized
I didn't want to be alone.

118
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,811
Ah, see, I just love
the idea of ending up alone.

119
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,546
Wait. You're saying you settled?

120
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,824
No, bear, I didn't
mean it like that.

121
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:56,416
Kinda sounded like it,
but it's okay,

122
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:58,060
you're way out of my league,
it's all good.

123
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,997
So, so what about now? A-are you
trying to get back out there?

124
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,857
No, no, no, no, not quite.
Um, I'm just focusing on

125
00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,234
launching this app
I've been designing.

126
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,659
Yeah. It's great. I can't

127
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,304
believe no one's thought
about this, tell her.

128
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:10,330
- No, it's not a big deal.
- Dude, come on.

129
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,033
Okay, um, so, it's helps you
find the closest dive bar.

130
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,877
So you know, like, when
you're out with your friends

131
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,703
and you're like,
"Oh, we don't wanna go home,

132
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:18,905
but where do we go?"
That's where my app comes in.

133
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,041
Oh, isn't that a feature
on Google Maps?

134
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,910
Yeah, but mine has, um,
pictures and reviews.

135
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,845
Oh, Yelp?

136
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,025
It-it might not work, but, um...

137
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,685
Honestly, I'm just trying
to finish something for once.

138
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,862
I have this really
bad habit of starting

139
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:34,287
things and then dropping them.

140
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,056
Ugh! I'm like that
with knitting.

141
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,700
You know, I can't tell you
the number of sweaters

142
00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,159
that end up as scarves.

143
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,037
Are you guys ready to order
or do you need a minute?

144
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,462
Thank God!
No, no, no, I'm ready.

145
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:45,065
I'm gonna do
the-the, the spaghetti,

146
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:47,734
and the chicken marsala,
and the bruschetta.

147
00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:48,902
Um, and more of this bread.

148
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,970
- Please.
- Oh, wow!

149
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,839
- Woof!
- Thanks.

150
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,475
Uh, yeah, we're gonna
share the Caesar salad,

151
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,545
and then, uh, the-the veal
par-ma-ji-yana.

152
00:07:58,578 --> 00:07:59,546
Peter doesn't eat veal.

153
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,514
- Yeah, I do.
- He does.

154
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:03,826
What? Don't you remember that
video that we watched in college

155
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,685
about veal farming,
you had a panic attack.

156
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,053
You joined the
animal rights club.

157
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,222
- No, I didn't.
- You were dating that girl Pond.

158
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,257
- Her name was Lake.
- You ate hemp meat.

159
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,460
That was, like, no,
that was a long time ago.

160
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,933
Yeah. You went through a really
long phase with the hemp meat.

161
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,398
- Long time ago.
- It was a long time ago.

162
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,600
- No...
- Long time ago...

163
00:08:20,633 --> 00:08:22,602
All right, sorry.
The-the first time I-I

164
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,013
cooked for you,
I made veal meatballs.

165
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,106
Yeah, that was..
They were-they were delicious.

166
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,042
You cried. You cried
and you said that it was,

167
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,744
um, because you were
in love with me.

168
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,346
- It was mostly because of that.
- Because of the veal?

169
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:35,081
It was not because of the veal.

170
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,917
Honey, those cows are put in
little tiny cages with no light.

171
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:39,729
Peter, it's not about the cows.
You lied to me.

172
00:08:39,753 --> 00:08:41,254
I know. I love you.
I'm sorry I lied

173
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:42,932
'cause I love you, I didn't
wanna hurt your feelings.

174
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,392
I've made you veal like
a hundred times since then.

175
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:47,060
I know.

176
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:53,199
- Are you laughing at me?
- No, I'm laughing at him.

177
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,534
Um, that's so, like, Peter to

178
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,045
reinvent himself for the
girlfriend of the week.

179
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,837
Wow!

180
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,649
She's not the girlfriend
of the week, Lexa. Come on.

181
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,408
Oh, no. Sorry.
I didn't mean it like...

182
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,742
- It's fine.
- No, seriously.

183
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,353
Don't be mad at him.
Don't be mad at him.

184
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,845
He's perfect. Be mad at me.

185
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,782
I'm the idiot. I'm stoned.

186
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,117
- She's not stoned. No, you're...
- Yes, I am.

187
00:09:11,151 --> 00:09:12,919
Remember you gave me that
dry bag of weed?

188
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,219
Not stoned, you're not stoned.

189
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:19,426
- Yeah, it's just really funny.
- No, I'm sorry.

190
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,428
- Honey.
- I had a cough and itching.

191
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,164
No, no, hold me hand.
Hold me hand. Hold me hand.

192
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:26,466
I'm from Ireland.
Come on, hold my hand.

193
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:34,741
Lexa's great.

194
00:09:34,774 --> 00:09:36,509
I didn't realize you guys
were so close.

195
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,247
Are we having a fight?

196
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:43,616
I don't know.
Should we be having a fight?

197
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,118
- Well, about what?
- I don't know.

198
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,662
You tell me.
What are we fighting about?

199
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,321
- Nothing?
- Okay.

200
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:49,456
Then we're not fighting.

201
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:57,497
Okay. I'm sorry that I lied
about the veal thing.

202
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,366
I know.
But you don't lie to her.

203
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,868
Well, it's because it's
impossible to hurt her feelings.

204
00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:03,069
Her heart is buried behind

205
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,038
a Shawshank level
security system.

206
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:07,374
He famously escapes
in that movie.

207
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,842
I'm sorry that I lied. I just,

208
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,353
I hate being the person
to hurt your feelings.

209
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,645
I get why you did it. I just...

210
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,148
I'd rather you be honest
than spare my feelings.

211
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:18,852
- I'm sorry. I won't lie anymore.
- There's a window of amnesty.

212
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,720
Wanna get anything
off your chest?

213
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,490
- I hate your mom.
- Are you serious?

214
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,192
I have said that she's been a
nightmare for years and years,

215
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,528
and you always defend her.

216
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,072
- That's really weird.
- I know. I mean...

217
00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,941
If she had a really hard
childhood, I would understand...

218
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,967
No, she doesn't.
There's like no reason.

219
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,645
She didn't come from a broken
home. She doesn't have

220
00:10:35,669 --> 00:10:37,504
a weird uncle,
she just hates waiters

221
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:41,107
and puppies
and Keanu Reeves which is...

222
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,109
- I love Keanu Reeves.
- I know you do.

223
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,645
- You really love Keanu Reeves.
- Yeah, I love Keanu Reeves.

224
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,514
Yeah.

225
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,183
- Whoa! Sheryl doesn't.
- Yeah.

226
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,719
Yeah, she thinks
he's <i>too</i> good-looking,

227
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,054
which is like, "What, why?"

228
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,222
I can't unpack your
mom's sexual repression.

229
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:58,525
- That's a bridge too far.
- I know.

230
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,760
- Yeah.
- Anything else?

231
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,562
- No.
- Because the window's closing.

232
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,130
- That's all I got.
- Okay.

233
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:07,067
- That's it? Love you.
- I love you.

234
00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:12,672
Wait, wait, wait, I actually
can't have sex with you

235
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,050
'cause I'm thinking
about your mom now.

236
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,184
That's weird. I'm thinking
about your dad.

237
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,509
But I'm, like,
I'm kinda into it.

238
00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:17,544
- Okay. Wait.
- Okay.

239
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,546
- Okay. Wait. All right.
- Okay.

240
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,560
You're kidding now, right?
About my dad.

241
00:11:24,584 --> 00:11:26,086
No.

242
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:54,981
Want to watch something?

243
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,785
I'm working
and not talking to you

244
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:00,787
because you were such
a dick at dinner.

245
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,555
Seriously?

246
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:05,325
You called my girlfriend,
who I'm proposing to,

247
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,127
a girl of the week,
like, really?

248
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,829
Not my finest moment, I'll admit
to that. I'm sorry, really.

249
00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,464
You need to apologize
to her tomorrow.

250
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,233
Done. Totally. Got it.

251
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,837
- Dick.
- You love me.

252
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,281
Both can be true.
You're like my annoying.

253
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,050
Chihuahua that pees on the rug
and eats my socks.

254
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:25,078
Well, I also fit in the purse
and love Taco Bell. Arf!

255
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:30,984
What's on?

256
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,119
E! Network's movies
be all about love.

257
00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,121
Sweet!

258
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,098
Oh, sorry, did I wake you?

259
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:23,236
I'm late. I'm late. I'm late!
I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine.

260
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,271
- You okay?
- Son of a mother!

261
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:33,513
- Morning! Yeah, there you go.
- Hi, there!

262
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,059
You look like you just
dropped out of an ad

263
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,320
for a well-balanced breakfast.

264
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:43,356
I mean, thank you.

265
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,793
Hey, sorry about dinner
last night.

266
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,661
Yeah, you know,
Peter's talked about you

267
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,564
since we started dating,
you're just not what I expected.

268
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:52,899
It's hard to capture

269
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:54,467
the magnitude of my greatness
in words.

270
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:58,204
Yeah, exactly. Don't get me
wrong, he sang your praises.

271
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:01,708
Talked about how funny
and smart you are.

272
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,410
What's happening?
Are you trying to smash?

273
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:09,082
No, no. I'm just trying to
understand

274
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,217
why the two of you
never got together.

275
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:14,554
Me and Peter? No. Never.

276
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,198
I mean, maybe if the
circumstances were different,

277
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,692
but... no, the timing was
never right.

278
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,194
So it was just the,
the timing that stopped you two?

279
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,131
You're asking
an impossible question.

280
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,766
Well, haven't you ever
wondered, like...

281
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,969
I wonder about all
my life choices.

282
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,671
You're avoiding the question.

283
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:34,541
- It's an insane question.
- Maybe.

284
00:14:37,243 --> 00:14:41,348
Well, um,
this was helpful. Thank you.

285
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,749
You're welcome.
Thank you for this.

286
00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,320
She was trying to smash.

287
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,435
- This place is really nice.
- Yeah, do you like it?

288
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,104
Can I get you started
with some drinks?

289
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,207
- Yes, um, champagne?
- Uh, I'll get a vodka soda.

290
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,109
Oh, come on, live a little.

291
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,477
Okay, I'll get a vodka, no soda.

292
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,479
She'll get a champagne
and vodka soda.

293
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:14,123
- I-I don't want champagne.
- We'll get the champagne.

294
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,448
I'm not sure what to do here...

295
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,159
Just bring, uh,
two champagnes, vodka soda,

296
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,794
and I'll just drink it
if you don't want it.

297
00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,420
- You drove.
- Yeah, we can Uber.

298
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,031
Pick up the car tomorrow.
It's fine.

299
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:24,524
- You're acting deranged.
- Yeah, I feel deranged.

300
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,793
- So, yeah, no, I'm good though.
- Okay.

301
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,170
- Do I seem weird?
- Yeah, a little bit.

302
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,538
- No, I'm feeling good.
- Yeah, oh, wow!

303
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,499
That was really fast, um...

304
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:36,069
- Good. Thank you. Perfect.
- You're welcome.

305
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,938
- Thank you so much. Yeah.
- You're welcome.

306
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,346
Honey, are you okay?
Are you okay?

307
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,816
There it is.
I was looking for it.

308
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:51,694
Um, okay, that was supposed to
be in the champagne,

309
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,353
but it came outta your mouth.

310
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,830
Um, it was supposed to
be in the champagne.

311
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,222
Oh, my God!

312
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:01,861
- Taylor...
- What?

313
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:11,171
Taylor, I know we've only been
together for three years,

314
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,239
but I feel like
I've known you my whole life.

315
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,810
My mornings don't start until
I'm waking up next to you

316
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,854
and they don't end until
you're laying in bed with me.

317
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,046
Oh God!

318
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,382
I just, I can't believe
I found you.

319
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,027
I would love to spend
the rest of my life with you.

320
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:29,031
So Taylor Bethesda Hamelin,

321
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,190
will you marry me?

322
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,894
- I... I...
- Are you crying?

323
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:37,897
- Yeah. Yes, I...
- Yes? Yes? She said yes!

324
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,235
- No. No!
- Thank you.

325
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,473
- No!
- No.

326
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,441
Yes, thank you,
that's very talented

327
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:50,243
but we don't need music
right now, thank you.

328
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,879
You can all get
back to your dinner. Thank you.

329
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,881
Can you just get up?

330
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,351
Wait. I think I'm having
a panic attack.

331
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,429
- Hey, I do love you...
- Wait, wait. I can't breathe.

332
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,122
- Okay. Honey.
- I can't see.

333
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,599
- Just stop for a second?
- I'm having a pa-panic attack.

334
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,792
- I, I do love you...
- I am having a panic attack.

335
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:06,826
Hey, can you stop?

336
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:14,167
Okay, yep.

337
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,037
Peter, I love you more than
I can express in words,

338
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,814
but something about this
doesn't feel right...

339
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,507
You-you-you're not you're ready.

340
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,351
Well, what do you want me
to do to prove to you

341
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,786
that I am ready, like,
would you like me

342
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,912
to tattoo your name on my ass?

343
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,089
The fact that you'd even
suggest that

344
00:17:27,113 --> 00:17:28,515
proves my point,
you're immature.

345
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,383
I thought you liked
that about me.

346
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,218
I like that you're
spontaneous and fun

347
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,787
and you get me out of
my own head.

348
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,655
But-but when I saw
you and Lexa together,

349
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:38,291
i-it proved to me that
it's more than that.

350
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,693
- You're-you're a child.
- Okay.

351
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,661
Well, let me be your
child bride then.

352
00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:45,865
- My what? No! No!
- Like, I'll be your child bride.

353
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:48,868
I think there's just, like,
part of you i-i-is stuck in

354
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,605
your past, stuck in whatever
you and Lexa share together.

355
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:55,175
And until you put that behind
you, I can't be with you.

356
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,477
I don't understand why
you keep bringing up Lexa.

357
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,813
I just don't want you to wake up
in five years and realize

358
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:01,314
you married the wrong person.

359
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,550
It's not gonna happen, Taylor.

360
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,286
- Taylor?
- I'm really sorry, Peter.

361
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,022
Oh, my God!

362
00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:13,193
Oh, my God!

363
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,565
She was kidding.

364
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,235
She'll come back.

365
00:18:33,345 --> 00:18:34,345
Peter?

366
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,292
Where's Taylor?
I thought you guys were

367
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,550
staying at The Drake tonight.

368
00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:45,624
Peter?

369
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:50,662
- Do you wanna talk about it?
- No!

370
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,600
There's booze here.

371
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,472
I'll tell you what,
I'll start drinking,

372
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,374
in honor of you
and these tough times,

373
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:05,144
and if you wanna join me,
you're more than welcome to.

374
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:15,187
Okay. I'm drinking alone now.
But it's in solidarity.

375
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:18,157
We're gonna get through
this together, you, me,

376
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:19,425
and this bottle of vodka.

377
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,268
Okay. Enough, Peter.

378
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,171
It's been days.

379
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:36,308
If you don't open this door,
I'm gonna break it down.

380
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,677
I'm gonna have the fire
department break it down.

381
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:39,712
It's open.

382
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,186
Okay. I'm here to help.

383
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:48,863
I didn't know what stage
of grief you would be in,

384
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:50,389
so I brought choices.

385
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:53,225
So we have low fat ice cream
and romantic comedies.

386
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:54,793
Pizza pockets
and kung fu movies.

387
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:56,328
Or whiskey and porn.

388
00:19:58,764 --> 00:20:00,632
Okay, we'll start with
<i>Sleepless in Seattle</i>

389
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:03,435
and end with
<i>When Harry bones Sally.</i>

390
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:06,205
- Just give me a second.
- Okay.

391
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:15,848
- Okay, I'm ready.
- Here we go.

392
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:18,884
- Starting with a rom-com.
- I don't like it.

393
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,285
This is your medicine.

394
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,888
Um, yum yum. Oooh!

395
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:25,891
I hate everyone in the world
except you.

396
00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:29,495
Oh, yeah.
Time for Shaolin Soccer.

397
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:30,329
Yaah!

398
00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:32,464
But I think
they're making dumplings

399
00:20:32,498 --> 00:20:34,933
and then
they're soccer involved.

400
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,169
Open mouth and eat pizza.

401
00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:38,504
This is gonna be
the sexiest time

402
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,905
that we've ever had right now.

403
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:43,342
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God! What the...

404
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,744
Look, keep looking at it.

405
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:48,747
I thought we were gonna spend
the rest of my life together.

406
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,283
And then it turned out
that I'm not now.

407
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:52,918
I just don't know
what to do anymore.

408
00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:19,445
Emilio Estevez was our waiter
last night at Red Lobster.

409
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:22,948
- There's no way it was him.
- Oh! It was. Well...

410
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:25,584
You and me, tomorrow night,
Red Lobster, Emilio Estevez.

411
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,119
I'm not going to Red Lobster
with you.

412
00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:29,455
Because I got better things
to do than stalk somebody

413
00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:31,690
who probably doesn't even
resemble Emilio Estevez.

414
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:34,226
And also I don't want to get
banned at another Red Lobster.

415
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:35,994
What did you do?

416
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:38,073
- I don't wanna talk about it.
- I'd love you to talk about it.

417
00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:42,001
Then fine, let's just say,
I realized you can actually

418
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:44,737
get seasick from just
eating from a shellfish.

419
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:47,706
Like, I-I-I knew it was a thing,
but I never realized, like,

420
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,975
you could, just don't mix
oysters, lobsters, shrimps,

421
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:51,643
and crabs all in one go.

422
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:02,654
- Oh, God!
- You look like shit.

423
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:03,589
Taylor left me.

424
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:05,891
- I proposed and she left.
- Yeah, I know.

425
00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:07,836
Everyone at the office heard
you bathroom crying.

426
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,537
- Thank you.
- I don't know what to do, Doug.

427
00:22:09,561 --> 00:22:12,040
I tried emailing,
calling, texting.

428
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:13,766
She's ignoring me at the office.

429
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:17,045
I even sent her an Edible
Arrangement and then an EpiPen

430
00:22:17,069 --> 00:22:20,048
'cause she's allergic to
pineapples and I didn't want

431
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:21,940
to give her the wrong idea.

432
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:24,143
Hey! What can I do to help?

433
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,854
I don't know, man. How do
I stop feeling like this?

434
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:28,056
Oh, easy. Death is the most
immediate

435
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,382
option but second to that,
start dating someone else.

436
00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:31,617
It's only been a week.

437
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:33,419
I know, but to get
over one person,

438
00:22:33,452 --> 00:22:35,721
you got to get under another.

439
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:37,856
Sorry, I've been watching
a lot of Sex and the City.

440
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:38,891
I'm a Samantha.

441
00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:41,460
What am I going to do?

442
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:43,071
Have you ever tried
online dating?

443
00:22:43,095 --> 00:22:44,763
Yeah, I'm awful at it. My bios

444
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,566
are super awkward
and I'm bad at dick pics.

445
00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:49,968
Dude, you need a ring
light and a low angle.

446
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:52,438
It's a good shot.
Trust. All right.

447
00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:54,873
If online dating is a no-go,
why not try for

448
00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,175
someone you already know?

449
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,210
I don't like most people I know.

450
00:22:58,243 --> 00:22:59,878
Yeah, what about
Carol from accounting?

451
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,389
You know, now that she's gotten
her halitosis under

452
00:23:01,413 --> 00:23:03,024
control, she's kind of the
office babe.

453
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:07,386
- Who? Never heard of Carol.
- Yeah, we saw her on Monday.

454
00:23:07,419 --> 00:23:10,456
Ca-rol. We're always like,
"Oh, there's Carol!"

455
00:23:10,489 --> 00:23:12,725
- Darryl?
- What?

456
00:23:12,758 --> 00:23:14,169
- I have an awkward question.
- Okay.

457
00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,494
How come we never went out?

458
00:23:15,527 --> 00:23:16,771
I don't want to kick you
while you're down.

459
00:23:16,795 --> 00:23:18,297
Having said that, I would rather

460
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,607
have sex with that couch
you had in college.

461
00:23:19,631 --> 00:23:20,933
Oh, the one with the smells?

462
00:23:20,966 --> 00:23:22,701
The one that had a squirrel
living in it.

463
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:27,048
- Right. Why? I'm a catch.
- You're not really my type.

464
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:28,741
- Unemployed?
- Touche.

465
00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:30,085
You know, this is the first
time we've both

466
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:31,910
been single at the same time
since college.

467
00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:33,955
- Where are you going with this?
- Let me just take you on a date.

468
00:23:33,979 --> 00:23:35,881
Friends shouldn't
rebound with friends.

469
00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:38,059
- Why? You're my favorite hang.
- Peter. Come on.

470
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,386
You're the only person I can
be completely honest with.

471
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:41,754
Your lumpy parts
don't disgust me.

472
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,922
- Wow, flattery. Uh-huh.
- All good things.

473
00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:46,625
What if we're like Meg Ryan in
all those movies, where, like,

474
00:23:46,658 --> 00:23:48,961
the answer has been right
there the entire time.

475
00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:51,630
Or what if we're like those
porn actresses that kind of

476
00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:53,475
look like Meg Ryan and the only
thing that's gonna come off

477
00:23:53,499 --> 00:23:55,367
this is I get screwed
and you leave?

478
00:23:55,401 --> 00:23:57,236
Well, have you never
thought about it at all?

479
00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:01,607
- Not even for a second?
- Honestly...

480
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,575
Fine, yes, yes, of course
I've thought about it,

481
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,286
but there's a reason I never
did anything about it.

482
00:24:05,310 --> 00:24:07,122
I mean, this kind of thing
only works out in the movies.

483
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:09,314
- And in real life it's a mess.
- Yeah, but

484
00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:10,449
we're already messes also.

485
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:11,493
What's the worst
that can happen?

486
00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:12,584
A murder-suicide.

487
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,753
That's pretty bad. Second worst?

488
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:17,122
- We ruin the friendship.
- Not if we decide up front.

489
00:24:17,156 --> 00:24:19,792
We go, "Hey, guess what, we're
not gonna ruin the friendship.

490
00:24:19,825 --> 00:24:22,561
No matter what happens
or what does not happen."

491
00:24:22,594 --> 00:24:25,664
That's what we'll say.
You got it.

492
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:27,733
I'll think about it.
Best and final offer.

493
00:24:27,766 --> 00:24:29,134
- All right, I'll take it.
- Okay.

494
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:30,903
- Want to go bowling?
- No!

495
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:34,106
- As friends.
- Maybe, we'll see.

496
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:39,978
She's really coming
into her own.

497
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:42,481
- I know.
- So cute. Look at that bee.

498
00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,316
I was so worried
she'd look like Doug.

499
00:24:44,350 --> 00:24:45,751
Why? Doug's handsome.

500
00:24:45,784 --> 00:24:47,486
Yeah, well, all the parts
that you can see,

501
00:24:47,519 --> 00:24:48,987
but he has the weirdest
body hair.

502
00:24:49,088 --> 00:24:51,156
He's got this patch
on his chest that looks like

503
00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:54,159
the bat signal, and his ass is
hairier than his head.

504
00:24:54,193 --> 00:24:55,761
- What? No.
- Yeah.

505
00:24:55,794 --> 00:24:57,706
For our fifth anniversary,
he decided to shave himself

506
00:24:57,730 --> 00:24:59,565
from the neck down,
huge mistake.

507
00:24:59,598 --> 00:25:00,875
So, does he just
always have, like,

508
00:25:00,899 --> 00:25:02,601
a full body 5 o' clock shadow?

509
00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:05,013
Oh, yeah, I'm having sex
with a chubby cactus

510
00:25:05,037 --> 00:25:06,739
for the rest of my life.

511
00:25:06,772 --> 00:25:09,508
But, I love him, so whatever.
You know?

512
00:25:09,541 --> 00:25:11,477
Anyways, that is enough
about me and Doug.

513
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:15,381
Are you gonna go out with Peter?

514
00:25:15,414 --> 00:25:16,815
Oh, Peter told Doug
and Doug cannot

515
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:18,484
keep a secret to save his life.

516
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,320
Okay, well.
I definitely can't say yes.

517
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,498
He just got dumped by the woman
he thought he was gonna spend

518
00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:25,033
the rest of his life with.

519
00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:27,192
Oh, my God,
you think I should yes?

520
00:25:27,226 --> 00:25:31,063
Okay, normally, I would say no,
but you're Lexa and Peter.

521
00:25:31,096 --> 00:25:32,898
We all knew you'd end up
together eventually.

522
00:25:32,931 --> 00:25:34,566
What do you mean, "We all knew?"

523
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,670
It just seemed inevitable.
He was in love with you

524
00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:39,714
all through college, and you
kept dating douche bags.

525
00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:41,549
- They weren't douche bags.
- Wife-beater Kenny?

526
00:25:41,573 --> 00:25:43,218
- Kenny never wore wife-beaters.
- No, Lexa.

527
00:25:43,242 --> 00:25:47,379
He seemed like the kind of
guy that would beat his wife.

528
00:25:47,413 --> 00:25:48,714
I'm not gonna argue that.

529
00:25:48,747 --> 00:25:51,350
Greg stole all your underwear,

530
00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:52,727
and Mark who had
sex with the ficus.

531
00:25:52,751 --> 00:25:55,721
Mark was sleep walker.
He was sleep-humping.

532
00:25:57,456 --> 00:25:58,957
I don't know, the point is,

533
00:25:58,991 --> 00:26:01,627
we figured you two would find
each other eventually.

534
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:05,264
Why? Because a girl and a guy
can't just be friends?

535
00:26:05,297 --> 00:26:09,268
No, because he's just better
than the other guys you dated.

536
00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:11,046
And you two just always look
like you were having more

537
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:13,572
fun together than everyone
else in the room.

538
00:26:13,605 --> 00:26:15,374
That's what it's about, right?

539
00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:17,910
Damn it.

540
00:26:17,943 --> 00:26:21,513
Are you worried it will
mess up the friendship?

541
00:26:21,547 --> 00:26:24,717
I'm worried because
I think you're right.

542
00:26:24,750 --> 00:26:26,261
Peter and I have something great
and if I can't make it

543
00:26:26,285 --> 00:26:28,387
work out with him,
then I won't be able to make it

544
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,055
work out with anyone.

545
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:32,424
Yeah, all due respect,
that's dumb.

546
00:26:32,458 --> 00:26:33,492
No, it isn't.

547
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:35,894
You're letting fear control you.

548
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:39,631
You are, if nothing else,
brave, Lexa.

549
00:26:39,665 --> 00:26:40,833
You should give it a go.

550
00:26:40,866 --> 00:26:42,043
Just take the time to figure out

551
00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:44,103
if you and Peter
are meant to be.

552
00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:49,274
- You know you want him.
- Maybe a little bit.

553
00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:56,282
Someone's at the door!

554
00:26:58,651 --> 00:27:00,553
Peter, could you grab the door?

555
00:27:08,028 --> 00:27:10,263
- Hi!
- Hi!

556
00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:12,399
- These are for you.
- What's happening?

557
00:27:12,432 --> 00:27:14,668
I'm picking you up for our date.

558
00:27:14,701 --> 00:27:16,202
Are we in a Hallmark movie?

559
00:27:16,236 --> 00:27:18,014
Most girls say "Thank you"
when you get them flowers.

560
00:27:18,038 --> 00:27:20,273
- I hate Hallmark movies.
- They say "Thank you."

561
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,051
And then they say, "I'll go
put them in some water."

562
00:27:22,075 --> 00:27:24,044
- No, that's a lie.
- No, that's what they say.

563
00:27:24,077 --> 00:27:25,545
No, I secretly love
Hallmark movies.

564
00:27:25,578 --> 00:27:27,914
Oh, my God, same! Have you seen
<i>Christmas Village.</i>

565
00:27:27,947 --> 00:27:29,125
<i>Town for the Christmas People?</i>

566
00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:30,650
- That's the best one.
- So good.

567
00:27:30,684 --> 00:27:34,654
- You're early.
- Yeah, there's no traffic.

568
00:27:34,688 --> 00:27:36,122
I'm not ready yet.

569
00:27:36,156 --> 00:27:39,392
Okay, I'll just
make myself at home.

570
00:27:39,426 --> 00:27:41,094
- Thank you.
- Welcome.

571
00:27:43,296 --> 00:27:45,532
I'll go put them in some water.

572
00:27:45,565 --> 00:27:46,566
Thank you.

573
00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,513
Thank God I made a reservation.

574
00:28:02,182 --> 00:28:04,150
Just one guy.

575
00:28:06,653 --> 00:28:09,089
Luke used to hate
places like this.

576
00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:12,258
Why did you guys
really break up?

577
00:28:12,292 --> 00:28:14,260
So sorry, but if this
was just a friend hang,

578
00:28:14,294 --> 00:28:15,571
you could totally
ask about my ex.

579
00:28:15,595 --> 00:28:18,231
- Lexa, come on.
- Show me a magic trick.

580
00:28:18,264 --> 00:28:19,575
I don't know what
you're talking about.

581
00:28:19,599 --> 00:28:21,277
First-date-Peter
would never leave the house

582
00:28:21,301 --> 00:28:22,478
without a magic trick
up his sleeve.

583
00:28:22,502 --> 00:28:24,304
- There's no magic trick.
- Okay, I get it.

584
00:28:24,337 --> 00:28:25,881
You don't want to bring out
your closer too early.

585
00:28:25,905 --> 00:28:28,308
- There's no magic trick.
- Really?

586
00:28:28,341 --> 00:28:30,486
- Okay, there's a magic trick.
- That's what I thought.

587
00:28:30,510 --> 00:28:32,688
If you casually lean forward
so I can see down your shirt.

588
00:28:32,712 --> 00:28:34,314
Excuse me.

589
00:28:34,347 --> 00:28:36,559
I mean it won't work in this
dress, but I know your moves.

590
00:28:36,583 --> 00:28:39,252
- I do not do that.
- Oh, really?

591
00:28:39,285 --> 00:28:40,653
Oh, that's so interesting.

592
00:28:40,687 --> 00:28:43,723
I didn't know coconuts
weren't really nuts.

593
00:28:43,757 --> 00:28:48,261
Oh, wait. Hold on.
Weren't really nuts. Huh, boob.

594
00:28:48,294 --> 00:28:50,530
Okay, I have never talked
about nuts on a first date.

595
00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:53,867
Uh, I wonder what other
nuts are not really nuts.

596
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,468
Okay.

597
00:28:55,502 --> 00:28:58,338
I read a-an article in
the New Yorker the other day,

598
00:28:58,371 --> 00:29:00,140
it was fascinating.

599
00:29:00,173 --> 00:29:02,242
I just wanna talk about nuts.

600
00:29:02,275 --> 00:29:03,677
I know this artist in Cambodia,

601
00:29:03,710 --> 00:29:05,011
he makes sculptures
out of shoes.

602
00:29:05,045 --> 00:29:06,680
I love nuts.

603
00:29:06,713 --> 00:29:09,582
He reminds me of this artist
that we talked about in class.

604
00:29:09,616 --> 00:29:12,519
- Uh, the Ivy League.
- I love nuts so much.

605
00:29:12,552 --> 00:29:15,422
But not as much as
having no job.

606
00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:20,503
I think you're less interesting
than a gum ball.

607
00:29:20,527 --> 00:29:24,030
- Will you marry me? Screw you.
- What? Wait, what?

608
00:29:24,064 --> 00:29:26,375
If you think I'm such a loser,
then why are we even doing this?

609
00:29:26,399 --> 00:29:27,734
I-I-I don't think
you're a loser.

610
00:29:27,767 --> 00:29:29,536
Then what is that,
why are you making fun

611
00:29:29,569 --> 00:29:31,237
of the fact I don't have
a job right now?

612
00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:33,573
- I was just joking.
- It's not funny. Joke funnier.

613
00:29:42,949 --> 00:29:47,387
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Looking through the glass.

614
00:29:47,420 --> 00:29:51,091
Ho! Ho! Ho! Looking over fence!

615
00:29:51,124 --> 00:29:53,035
Ho! Ho! Ho!

616
00:29:53,059 --> 00:29:58,932
I can't see anything except
my dad's friend Jacob.

617
00:29:58,965 --> 00:30:00,734
Jacob! Jacob! Jacob!

618
00:30:00,767 --> 00:30:03,403
- Where are you, Jacob?
- Oh, my God, he's on fire!

619
00:30:03,436 --> 00:30:06,272
- He's burning!
- Oh, no! Jacob's on fire!

620
00:30:06,306 --> 00:30:08,375
- Call the fireman!
- Ding-dong!

621
00:30:08,408 --> 00:30:10,243
- Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh!
- I'm a fire...

622
00:30:10,276 --> 00:30:12,812
Please... You're disturbing
the other patrons.

623
00:30:12,846 --> 00:30:16,016
- I'm so sorry. Sorry.
- Totally zoned out.

624
00:30:16,049 --> 00:30:18,184
- Sorry about that!
- Thank you.

625
00:30:18,218 --> 00:30:20,587
Well, we'll never
doing this again.

626
00:30:20,620 --> 00:30:22,822
- Never again.
- Could not have gone worse.

627
00:30:25,325 --> 00:30:27,327
- What?
- Oh, I think I feel sick.

628
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,430
- Oh, no, you don't.
- Yeah, no, yeah I do. Oh!

629
00:30:30,463 --> 00:30:33,366
- It's the other way.
- Ooh! Ooh! Oh!

630
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,270
- Help!
- What? Help, how?

631
00:30:38,538 --> 00:30:40,140
Uh, we'll just get the bill.

632
00:30:44,878 --> 00:30:46,012
Oh, my God!

633
00:30:51,484 --> 00:30:53,853
Damn that Hole In The Wall
restaurant!

634
00:30:53,887 --> 00:30:55,989
Was it the restaurant
or the donut you ate

635
00:30:56,022 --> 00:30:58,091
out of the trash this morning?

636
00:30:58,124 --> 00:31:00,660
- You saw that?
- Yeah, unfortunately.

637
00:31:06,933 --> 00:31:08,368
I thought it was so good.

638
00:31:12,739 --> 00:31:16,476
But it did make me thirsty
enough to get like four chugs

639
00:31:16,509 --> 00:31:19,055
into that milk carton
in the back of your fridge

640
00:31:19,079 --> 00:31:21,748
before I realized
it had spoiled.

641
00:31:21,781 --> 00:31:25,151
It's amazing to me that
you're still alive.

642
00:31:25,185 --> 00:31:26,519
I'm a little cockroach.

643
00:31:33,460 --> 00:31:37,197
So is this the, um, worst first
date you've ever had or..

644
00:31:37,230 --> 00:31:38,732
Don't flatter yourself.

645
00:31:40,233 --> 00:31:41,835
This doesn't even make top five.

646
00:31:41,868 --> 00:31:45,705
- I'll get you water.
- Okay. Thank you.

647
00:31:58,752 --> 00:32:03,256
Great place. Love the d.

648
00:32:03,289 --> 00:32:07,527
- How was the date?
- Bodily fluids were involved...

649
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:11,398
- No, not the good ones.
- Ew. Tell me more. No. Less.

650
00:32:11,431 --> 00:32:15,235
Ah, I'm torn. Hold that thought.

651
00:32:15,268 --> 00:32:18,571
- Ah. Hey! Nice fit.
- Hi!

652
00:32:18,605 --> 00:32:20,049
She's going through
De Niro phase.

653
00:32:20,073 --> 00:32:21,708
She's obsessed with his style.

654
00:32:21,741 --> 00:32:25,211
Never seen the movies. I don't
know, kid TikTok is hell.

655
00:32:25,245 --> 00:32:27,056
Do you remember me?
Last time we saw each other

656
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:28,715
was at the Rainforest Cafe?

657
00:32:28,748 --> 00:32:30,116
I got you that stuffed giraffe.

658
00:32:31,584 --> 00:32:32,485
No, not really, no.

659
00:32:32,519 --> 00:32:34,320
Can you get your finger
out of your mouth?

660
00:32:34,354 --> 00:32:36,156
Um, can you get your
nose out of my business?

661
00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:39,225
- Watch it.
- Oh, you're bleeding.

662
00:32:39,259 --> 00:32:41,561
Honey, don't suck your blood.
It's not healthy.

663
00:32:41,594 --> 00:32:43,930
Why won't anyone just
let me live?

664
00:32:46,866 --> 00:32:49,936
Are you sure you can handle that
'cause she can be a handful?

665
00:32:49,969 --> 00:32:51,604
- Good thing I have two hands.
- Okay.

666
00:32:51,638 --> 00:32:53,907
We'll be fine. I know CPR.
I'll Google everything else.

667
00:32:53,940 --> 00:32:58,011
Amazing! You're a life saver.
I really owe you one.

668
00:32:58,111 --> 00:33:00,914
Yeah, I was thinking
20 bucks an hour.

669
00:33:00,947 --> 00:33:04,351
$18?

670
00:33:04,384 --> 00:33:05,552
Yeah, I...

671
00:33:05,585 --> 00:33:08,221
Sorry, I didn't realize this
was like a job for you, so.

672
00:33:08,254 --> 00:33:10,223
But that's fine.
How about 30 dollars an hour?

673
00:33:10,256 --> 00:33:12,392
- I... No!
- No, you know CPR.

674
00:33:12,425 --> 00:33:15,161
- I don't CPR, it's...
- I don't know CPR.

675
00:33:15,195 --> 00:33:16,930
I was saying that for effects.

676
00:33:16,963 --> 00:33:19,299
- I think you've earned it.
- I haven't done anything.

677
00:33:19,332 --> 00:33:21,201
I'm trying to end
this conversation

678
00:33:21,234 --> 00:33:22,736
the least awkward way possible.

679
00:33:22,769 --> 00:33:25,071
Got it! Thank you!

680
00:33:26,439 --> 00:33:28,074
- Be good!
- Love you!

681
00:33:32,479 --> 00:33:34,381
Blake?

682
00:33:34,414 --> 00:33:35,415
Blake?

683
00:33:36,850 --> 00:33:38,818
Don't come in.

684
00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:40,086
Okay!

685
00:33:45,225 --> 00:33:48,328
- What are you doing?
- Just working on something.

686
00:33:50,797 --> 00:33:54,100
An app that helps adults
find elite establishments

687
00:33:54,134 --> 00:33:56,836
in which to imbibe.

688
00:33:56,870 --> 00:33:58,338
What are you doing?

689
00:33:58,371 --> 00:33:59,906
Enjoying the slow march
to death,

690
00:33:59,939 --> 00:34:02,442
one level of Candy Crush
at a time.

691
00:34:02,475 --> 00:34:05,145
Nice!

692
00:34:22,929 --> 00:34:24,698
- Hello!
- Hello!

693
00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:27,701
Oh, don't be mad.

694
00:34:27,734 --> 00:34:29,445
I flushed a bunch of candy corn
down the toilet

695
00:34:29,469 --> 00:34:31,371
and it's making a weird noise.

696
00:34:31,404 --> 00:34:32,872
Why? Why would you do that?

697
00:34:32,906 --> 00:34:35,051
'Cause I thought it was
looking at me funny and I...

698
00:34:35,075 --> 00:34:36,409
- I have a surprise.
- What?

699
00:34:36,443 --> 00:34:38,545
- Can you get dressed? Yeah.
- Right now?

700
00:34:45,085 --> 00:34:47,320
- He-he-he-he!
- What are you... Whoa!

701
00:34:49,155 --> 00:34:51,067
Are we going to the zoo?
Or the planetarium?

702
00:34:51,091 --> 00:34:52,835
Well, I'm not taking you on
a middle school field trip.

703
00:34:52,859 --> 00:34:55,237
- Oh! Are we going to Spain?
- Yeah, we are walking to Spain.

704
00:34:55,261 --> 00:34:57,197
- Ha! I knew it.
- It's gonna take two years.

705
00:34:57,230 --> 00:34:59,075
Okay? Stop it.
Don't guess anymore.

706
00:34:59,099 --> 00:35:01,401
You're gonna love it, I promise.

707
00:35:01,434 --> 00:35:04,237
- Oh, are we going to Benihana?
- No!

708
00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:05,614
Okay, wait,
keep your eyeballs shut.

709
00:35:05,638 --> 00:35:06,606
Well, okay.

710
00:35:06,639 --> 00:35:08,608
Do not open your eyeball.
Ready? Keep going.

711
00:35:08,641 --> 00:35:10,353
Then what would be the point
of putting your hand there?

712
00:35:10,377 --> 00:35:12,054
- I can do it without your hand.
- Yeah, you're right.

713
00:35:12,078 --> 00:35:14,314
- Okay.
- Okay, ta-da!

714
00:35:14,347 --> 00:35:16,516
- What am I looking at?
- This is where we first met.

715
00:35:16,549 --> 00:35:19,886
- We first met in a lecture hall.
- No! Tha-that was Psych 102.

716
00:35:19,919 --> 00:35:21,321
This was the first spot. Okay,

717
00:35:21,354 --> 00:35:23,032
I was leaving a party
upstairs, remember?

718
00:35:23,056 --> 00:35:25,725
You were sitting literally right
there, drunk off your ass.

719
00:35:25,759 --> 00:35:27,737
I came up to you, I was like,
"Hey! Where do you live?"

720
00:35:27,761 --> 00:35:29,472
Because I wanted to make
sure you got home okay.

721
00:35:29,496 --> 00:35:31,464
- Such a freshman.
- But you forgot your address.

722
00:35:31,498 --> 00:35:33,209
You were like, "I forget!
I don't know where I live."

723
00:35:33,233 --> 00:35:35,635
And I was like, "Wait, what?"
But then,

724
00:35:35,669 --> 00:35:37,937
you did the entire speech
at the end of <i>Rocky...</i>

725
00:35:37,971 --> 00:35:39,773
<i>Rocky</i> 4, yes.

726
00:35:39,806 --> 00:35:42,142
And when you finished,
I was like, "Whoa!"

727
00:35:42,175 --> 00:35:44,344
This person is the coolest,"
and so we became friends.

728
00:35:44,377 --> 00:35:45,645
- High five!
- Aww!

729
00:35:45,679 --> 00:35:46,889
Well, that story's both
sweet and creepy.

730
00:35:46,913 --> 00:35:48,448
How is it creepy?

731
00:35:48,481 --> 00:35:50,092
Because apparently I didn't
remember any of that night,

732
00:35:50,116 --> 00:35:52,261
and you were in the back of
the lecture hall leering at me.

733
00:35:52,285 --> 00:35:53,925
- Were you also pining?
- I wasn't pining.

734
00:35:53,953 --> 00:35:55,455
Leering and pining and lusting.

735
00:35:55,488 --> 00:35:57,557
Okay, you ruined a moment
we were supposed to have.

736
00:35:57,590 --> 00:35:59,068
- It smells like farts in here.
- We're done.

737
00:35:59,092 --> 00:36:00,427
Off to tonight's spot?

738
00:36:00,460 --> 00:36:02,462
Oh, there's another spot
on this train of fun?

739
00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:05,799
- Yes. Miniature golf.
- Yay!

740
00:36:05,832 --> 00:36:08,134
Right, are you prepared to
have your masculinity

741
00:36:08,168 --> 00:36:09,569
challenged by a girl?

742
00:36:09,602 --> 00:36:11,013
Oh, you think you can
beat me at this?

743
00:36:11,037 --> 00:36:12,739
Oh, I know I can beat
you in this game.

744
00:36:12,772 --> 00:36:14,374
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

745
00:36:14,407 --> 00:36:16,118
Every time I have played
you at this game, I won.

746
00:36:16,142 --> 00:36:18,278
Yeah, but I have
grown into my muscles,

747
00:36:18,311 --> 00:36:20,780
an-and you have withered with...

748
00:36:20,814 --> 00:36:22,916
Yeah? I don't even need to look.

749
00:36:22,949 --> 00:36:25,027
A gopher in roller skates
could beat you at this game.

750
00:36:25,051 --> 00:36:26,286
Well, I could beat a gopher

751
00:36:26,319 --> 00:36:27,954
with this golf club,
so, circle of life.

752
00:36:28,054 --> 00:36:30,132
I'm going to beat you so bad,
you'll think my name is Kenny.

753
00:36:30,156 --> 00:36:31,458
Jesus! Everyone hated him

754
00:36:31,491 --> 00:36:33,102
so much and no one said
anything about him?

755
00:36:33,126 --> 00:36:35,462
Oh, I said things. You're just
really stummer, stubborn.

756
00:36:35,495 --> 00:36:36,963
So you're just really stummer.

757
00:36:38,765 --> 00:36:42,736
- That does sound like me. Tink!
- That was a terrible shot.

758
00:36:42,769 --> 00:36:44,046
But you looked
really cute doing it.

759
00:36:44,070 --> 00:36:46,673
Oh, thanks.

760
00:36:46,706 --> 00:36:48,284
The best thing about
miniatures golf is that

761
00:36:48,308 --> 00:36:51,644
even when you're losing,
you're winning.

762
00:36:51,678 --> 00:36:53,646
Oh, son!

763
00:36:58,218 --> 00:37:02,188
- Ah! God, I love sports.
- I know you do.

764
00:37:02,222 --> 00:37:06,126
- Okay, hole two?
- Hole two, bitch!

765
00:37:06,159 --> 00:37:09,362
Okay, let's go!
Oh, my God! Watch out!

766
00:37:09,396 --> 00:37:12,799
Oh, my God! My God!

767
00:37:12,832 --> 00:37:15,235
What are you doing here?

768
00:37:52,272 --> 00:37:55,709
- Ooh!
- All right, okay, okay.

769
00:37:55,742 --> 00:37:58,345
- We're one with the wall.
- They can't see us.

770
00:37:58,378 --> 00:38:01,147
They can't see us
if we're part of the wall.

771
00:38:13,059 --> 00:38:14,728
Take me home.

772
00:38:14,761 --> 00:38:15,929
It's nicer.

773
00:38:19,332 --> 00:38:21,468
Okay, I'll look out
for your cat.

774
00:38:21,501 --> 00:38:23,036
Goodnight, Mrs. Yang.

775
00:38:35,749 --> 00:38:36,916
Are you gonna freak me up?

776
00:38:36,950 --> 00:38:38,418
Yeah, um,
do you-do you want me to...

777
00:38:38,451 --> 00:38:41,388
- Put on some music.
- Okay. Um...

778
00:38:41,421 --> 00:38:42,756
- Lexa.
- What's up?

779
00:38:57,737 --> 00:38:59,205
Yeah!

780
00:39:03,276 --> 00:39:04,444
Yeah!

781
00:40:23,123 --> 00:40:25,425
That if we continue
on this trajectory...

782
00:40:30,797 --> 00:40:31,831
Psst.

783
00:40:39,272 --> 00:40:40,273
Thank you.

784
00:40:55,955 --> 00:40:58,825
- Hey, home is this way.
- You have gymnastics.

785
00:40:58,858 --> 00:41:01,861
No! Gymnastics literally
makes me want to die.

786
00:41:01,895 --> 00:41:03,063
Why do I have to go?

787
00:41:03,096 --> 00:41:04,798
Because the family calendar
says so.

788
00:41:04,831 --> 00:41:07,367
- So?
- Good point.

789
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,111
All right, if you wanna skip
I'm good with that.

790
00:41:09,135 --> 00:41:10,937
But if your mom asks,
you were feeling sick.

791
00:41:10,970 --> 00:41:12,372
You cool lying to your mom?

792
00:41:12,405 --> 00:41:14,874
I'm eight.
Of course I lie to my mother.

793
00:41:14,908 --> 00:41:15,975
All right.

794
00:41:48,141 --> 00:41:51,011
- You're so good.
- Practice makes perfect.

795
00:41:51,111 --> 00:41:52,345
There we go again.

796
00:41:54,147 --> 00:41:55,382
You should be at gymnastics.

797
00:41:55,415 --> 00:41:58,385
- She twisted her ankle.
- My appendix exploded.

798
00:41:58,418 --> 00:42:00,387
Okay. How about you go get
ready for dinner?

799
00:42:00,420 --> 00:42:01,420
Fine.

800
00:42:02,856 --> 00:42:05,625
- Wash your hands.
- Yep, yep!

801
00:42:05,658 --> 00:42:08,228
Sorry, I know I shouldn't
encourage her but...

802
00:42:08,261 --> 00:42:10,039
Oh, it's fine. I've seen her
on the balance beams,

803
00:42:10,063 --> 00:42:11,398
she's no Simone Biles.

804
00:42:12,632 --> 00:42:16,169
Okay, can you tell me about
what's happening with Peter?

805
00:42:16,202 --> 00:42:20,373
Everything is going good-ish.

806
00:42:20,407 --> 00:42:22,642
I mean, there's a reason why
we are best friends, right?

807
00:42:22,676 --> 00:42:24,411
He's sweet, he's funny but...

808
00:42:24,444 --> 00:42:26,312
I don't know, we've been
on a couple of dates

809
00:42:26,346 --> 00:42:28,715
and he still just feels like
he is my best friend

810
00:42:28,748 --> 00:42:30,059
who I sometimes make out with.

811
00:42:30,083 --> 00:42:33,353
This is very PG-13.
Have you had sex?

812
00:42:33,386 --> 00:42:35,088
No.

813
00:42:35,121 --> 00:42:37,891
So you haven't seen
his dick yet?

814
00:42:37,924 --> 00:42:39,826
I've seen his dick.

815
00:42:39,859 --> 00:42:42,562
- What? Okay.
- Through his jeans.

816
00:42:42,595 --> 00:42:44,397
I've not had sex with him,
so, I don't know.

817
00:42:45,231 --> 00:42:46,766
What if he is really weird
in bed?

818
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:48,168
Even better.

819
00:42:48,201 --> 00:42:50,203
I dated a guy once,
he kept saying

820
00:42:50,236 --> 00:42:53,306
I'm having a very nice time,
while he was inside of me.

821
00:42:53,340 --> 00:42:55,408
- That's sweet.
- Ew! Sweet? No.

822
00:42:55,442 --> 00:42:57,253
That's what you say when you're
having tea with your Aunt Milred

823
00:42:57,277 --> 00:42:59,112
not when you're balls
deep in an 18-year-old.

824
00:42:59,145 --> 00:43:00,623
The best sex I ever had
was with this guy

825
00:43:00,647 --> 00:43:02,449
who used to collect my hairs
from the drain

826
00:43:02,482 --> 00:43:05,218
and make these little dolls
with them.

827
00:43:05,251 --> 00:43:07,087
He would make them
and then line them up,

828
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,289
and he would name them too,
and they'd be like

829
00:43:09,322 --> 00:43:10,724
his neighbors and the baker

830
00:43:10,757 --> 00:43:12,459
and things like that,
but the sex was good.

831
00:43:12,492 --> 00:43:15,462
I promise, I promise, it sounds
weird. And it was weird.

832
00:43:15,495 --> 00:43:17,130
- Was it kinky?
- It was pretty kinky.

833
00:43:17,163 --> 00:43:19,366
Can you please have sex
with Peter?

834
00:43:21,067 --> 00:43:22,402
You obviously want to or we

835
00:43:22,435 --> 00:43:24,404
wouldn't be having
this conversation.

836
00:43:38,718 --> 00:43:40,754
- Hi.
- Hey.

837
00:43:40,787 --> 00:43:42,489
Uh, what are you doing here?

838
00:43:42,522 --> 00:43:46,493
Oh, um, I'm here to
get things that I left.

839
00:43:46,526 --> 00:43:49,229
Oh, okay. Uh, yeah, I didn't see
your stuff lying around.

840
00:43:49,262 --> 00:43:51,197
- My hair dryer?
- Hair dryer?

841
00:43:51,231 --> 00:43:53,533
- Yeah.
- Um, okay.

842
00:43:53,566 --> 00:43:54,877
Yeah, it's in the bottom
drawer...

843
00:43:54,901 --> 00:43:56,102
Okay.

844
00:44:02,542 --> 00:44:04,744
- That's... yeah, that's the one.
- Yeah.

845
00:44:04,778 --> 00:44:07,781
Um, is there anything else here?

846
00:44:07,814 --> 00:44:09,349
Uh, how are you?

847
00:44:10,550 --> 00:44:12,285
I'm fine.

848
00:44:12,318 --> 00:44:15,031
- It's good.
- Yeah. Well, not particularly.

849
00:44:15,055 --> 00:44:16,523
Right. Yeah.

850
00:44:18,058 --> 00:44:19,626
Are you, you're okay?

851
00:44:21,127 --> 00:44:23,663
I'm fine.

852
00:44:23,697 --> 00:44:24,898
Okay.

853
00:44:24,931 --> 00:44:27,300
I'm double parked,
so, I should go.

854
00:44:28,768 --> 00:44:29,768
Taylor...

855
00:44:32,872 --> 00:44:34,808
Thanks.

856
00:44:34,841 --> 00:44:37,677
Don't know what I'd do,
it's my favorite device.

857
00:44:39,579 --> 00:44:40,579
Okay.

858
00:44:48,088 --> 00:44:50,223
- Were you talking to me?
- What?

859
00:44:50,256 --> 00:44:52,325
- I thought I heard voices.
- Uh, no.

860
00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:54,961
It was just like group of men
walking up the road.

861
00:44:54,994 --> 00:44:58,131
But I'm gonna take a quick
showie, shower.

862
00:44:59,532 --> 00:45:00,533
Okay.

863
00:45:07,841 --> 00:45:09,576
Peter! Your phone's ringing!

864
00:45:09,609 --> 00:45:12,712
It's okay,
just pick it up. Okay.

865
00:45:12,746 --> 00:45:14,514
Hello.

866
00:45:14,547 --> 00:45:15,548
What?

867
00:45:16,616 --> 00:45:17,650
For next weekend?

868
00:45:19,919 --> 00:45:22,589
Yep, I'll let him know.
Thank you.

869
00:45:49,315 --> 00:45:51,117
Lakeside Pines called earlier.

870
00:45:51,151 --> 00:45:52,919
- Oh, God, don't be mad.
- No, no, no.

871
00:45:52,952 --> 00:45:55,588
I'm not mad, I just don't want
this to be awkward.

872
00:45:55,622 --> 00:45:57,099
It makes sense that
you would wanna plan

873
00:45:57,123 --> 00:45:58,925
a great vacation like that
for her...

874
00:45:58,958 --> 00:46:00,827
It's not for her. It's for us.

875
00:46:00,860 --> 00:46:02,495
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.

876
00:46:02,529 --> 00:46:05,031
I thought it would be nice to
get away for a couple of days.

877
00:46:05,065 --> 00:46:07,167
- Just us. Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay.

878
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:08,678
- Okay.
- We should go horseback riding.

879
00:46:08,702 --> 00:46:11,237
Well, it's dead of winter
but yeah.

880
00:46:11,271 --> 00:46:13,373
Then what are we supposed to do
out there?

881
00:46:13,406 --> 00:46:14,684
Kind of eliminates
all outdoor activities.

882
00:46:14,708 --> 00:46:18,078
I don't know.
There's lots to do.

883
00:46:18,111 --> 00:46:19,479
- Wait. Oh, my God.
- What?

884
00:46:19,512 --> 00:46:21,157
You didn't plan us a sex
vacation for us, did you?

885
00:46:21,181 --> 00:46:23,259
- What? No! No, no, I know that.
- Because we haven't even...

886
00:46:23,283 --> 00:46:24,527
That'd be like going
from zero to...

887
00:46:24,551 --> 00:46:26,152
You know, a 100. Yeah, no.

888
00:46:26,186 --> 00:46:27,663
It was just...
that-that was like a break.

889
00:46:27,687 --> 00:46:29,589
It was a nice break,
I thought in my mind.

890
00:46:29,622 --> 00:46:32,092
This will be fun and the photos
were so idyllic.

891
00:46:32,125 --> 00:46:33,336
You do love Nora Ephron moment.

892
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:38,164
- I do. Yeah. Okay.
- Okay. Okay. Mm.

893
00:46:38,198 --> 00:46:39,942
- Okay. Oh, God!
- No, it's not a sex vacation.

894
00:46:39,966 --> 00:46:41,711
I know, I know, I know, sorry.
It's just that, now that

895
00:46:41,735 --> 00:46:43,703
we said it,
I can't even really ignore it.

896
00:46:43,737 --> 00:46:45,238
You want me to call and cancel?

897
00:46:45,271 --> 00:46:46,549
- Uh-uh. No.
- I'll call and cancel.

898
00:46:46,573 --> 00:46:48,441
- Put the phone down. Stop.
- Excuse me.

899
00:46:48,475 --> 00:46:50,076
It's fine.
This is what we're gonna

900
00:46:50,110 --> 00:46:51,454
do, I'm going to leave
and we're gonna

901
00:46:51,478 --> 00:46:52,445
pretend like this conversation
never happened.

902
00:46:52,479 --> 00:46:53,680
Where are you going? What?

903
00:46:53,713 --> 00:46:55,448
- Your purse. Your beer?
- I'm moving.

904
00:46:55,482 --> 00:46:57,322
- You can have it.
- You're just leaving. Okay.

905
00:47:23,143 --> 00:47:25,645
Oh, bird house.

906
00:47:25,679 --> 00:47:28,148
That's cute.

907
00:47:35,055 --> 00:47:37,090
Right.

908
00:47:37,123 --> 00:47:39,526
Welcome to The Lakeside Pines!

909
00:47:39,559 --> 00:47:41,695
- Hear that?
- What was that?

910
00:47:41,728 --> 00:47:45,765
- Oh! They're here.
- We're right here.

911
00:47:45,799 --> 00:47:47,500
Are we in the right spot?
We parked here?

912
00:47:51,404 --> 00:47:54,240
- That's firm.
- The bed, yeah. It's nice.

913
00:47:54,708 --> 00:47:55,709
Bed.

914
00:47:58,378 --> 00:47:59,989
Oh, Jesus, we're about
to scissor, aren't we?

915
00:48:00,013 --> 00:48:01,881
Okay, don't... Okay,
take a-take a breath.

916
00:48:01,915 --> 00:48:03,659
And then you're going to
want to be the little spoon.

917
00:48:03,683 --> 00:48:05,027
Well, what if I want to be
the little...

918
00:48:05,051 --> 00:48:06,562
- You're freaking out. Yeah.
- No, I'm not.

919
00:48:06,586 --> 00:48:08,064
- You're freaking out a little...
- No, I'm not.

920
00:48:08,088 --> 00:48:09,532
- Just a little bit.
- I'm not. You're freaking out.

921
00:48:09,556 --> 00:48:11,224
I'm not freaking out.

922
00:48:11,257 --> 00:48:12,759
What if it's bad?

923
00:48:12,792 --> 00:48:15,462
Okay, worst things have happened
to better people.

924
00:48:19,332 --> 00:48:20,700
You're my best friend.

925
00:48:20,734 --> 00:48:24,170
So, whatever does
or doesn't happen here

926
00:48:24,204 --> 00:48:25,705
it won't change that.

927
00:48:25,739 --> 00:48:27,540
- Okay. Okay.
- It won't. Okay?

928
00:48:27,574 --> 00:48:29,242
Sex has destroyed
civilizations, I think

929
00:48:29,275 --> 00:48:30,553
it could take us down
if it wanted to.

930
00:48:30,577 --> 00:48:31,945
Well, you aren't Helen of Troy.

931
00:48:32,045 --> 00:48:35,024
You use that line
on all the girls?

932
00:48:35,048 --> 00:48:37,050
Only the ones that I like.

933
00:49:45,885 --> 00:49:47,487
- Whoo!
- Wow!

934
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,290
- You are Helen of Troy.
- Thank you.

935
00:49:50,323 --> 00:49:52,625
- That was... yeah.
- Thank you.

936
00:49:52,659 --> 00:49:56,863
All those years of field work
have made you quite a contender.

937
00:49:56,896 --> 00:49:59,566
Sounds like you just used
a bunch of fancy words

938
00:49:59,599 --> 00:50:02,502
to call me a slut in a nice way.

939
00:50:02,535 --> 00:50:04,104
No, it's good.
I had a good time.

940
00:50:04,137 --> 00:50:06,239
- Hm, yeah, me too.
- Yeah.

941
00:50:06,272 --> 00:50:08,775
- You're strong and bendy.
- Yoga.

942
00:50:08,808 --> 00:50:10,377
I wanna start doing that.

943
00:50:10,410 --> 00:50:13,313
You were great, but I can send
you some videos if you want.

944
00:50:13,346 --> 00:50:14,814
- Really? Yeah, send 'em.
- Yeah.

945
00:50:14,848 --> 00:50:16,416
- Okay, I will.
- Okay.

946
00:50:21,721 --> 00:50:23,890
- I'm hungry, you hungry?
- I'm hungry.

947
00:50:23,923 --> 00:50:25,058
- Okay.
- Okay.

948
00:50:25,091 --> 00:50:26,168
Let's get something to eat.

949
00:50:26,192 --> 00:50:28,795
- We'll eat.
- Again.

950
00:50:29,629 --> 00:50:33,133
- Oh, that was a good one.
- Thanks.

951
00:50:33,166 --> 00:50:35,301
- Basket's over there.
- Yeah.

952
00:50:35,335 --> 00:50:38,138
- You want to get it?
- You go get it.

953
00:50:38,171 --> 00:50:39,205
Okay.

954
00:50:40,340 --> 00:50:41,941
Jam?

955
00:50:41,975 --> 00:50:43,910
No, actually, this is
a marmalade, not a jam.

956
00:50:43,943 --> 00:50:44,811
Here, try it.

957
00:50:44,844 --> 00:50:46,479
You almost stabbed me
in the eye.

958
00:50:46,513 --> 00:50:48,915
But I didn't,
and that's what matters.

959
00:50:48,948 --> 00:50:52,585
Oh, anyway, a jam's usually made
of crushed or chopped fruits,

960
00:50:52,619 --> 00:50:54,921
sugar, pectin, lemon juice,

961
00:50:54,954 --> 00:50:58,725
marmalades are made
with citrus fruits.

962
00:50:58,758 --> 00:51:00,827
And pieces of peel. Oh, God.
Oh, stop it.

963
00:51:00,860 --> 00:51:03,329
That is the most boring thing
I have ever heard in my life.

964
00:51:03,363 --> 00:51:04,931
Just wait till
we get to compote.

965
00:51:04,964 --> 00:51:06,709
Isn't that a movie with
Philip Seymour Hoffmann?

966
00:51:06,733 --> 00:51:08,401
- That's <i>Copote.</i>
- Right.

967
00:51:12,072 --> 00:51:13,073
Too much sugar.

968
00:51:17,944 --> 00:51:18,944
What's that?

969
00:51:27,253 --> 00:51:29,422
Don't fight me, don't fight.

970
00:51:29,456 --> 00:51:30,657
Is there a fight coming?

971
00:51:31,991 --> 00:51:33,536
Yeah, it depends
on the next ten seconds.

972
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:35,962
Okay. Lexa.

973
00:51:35,995 --> 00:51:39,632
Um, I was gonna bring Taylor
here and then we broke up.

974
00:51:39,666 --> 00:51:41,901
- And I forgot to cancel...
- Of course.

975
00:51:41,935 --> 00:51:43,903
This was for Taylor.
We both hate stuff like this.

976
00:51:43,937 --> 00:51:46,740
W-wait. Actually, no, actually
I did cancel, I tried to cancel.

977
00:51:46,773 --> 00:51:49,509
Peter, I even asked you if it
was for her. I gave you the out.

978
00:51:49,542 --> 00:51:51,244
Would you prefer,
I told you the truth?

979
00:51:51,277 --> 00:51:53,279
Yes, no, I-I don't know.
We just,

980
00:51:53,313 --> 00:51:54,948
we never lie to each other ever.

981
00:51:54,981 --> 00:51:56,759
Really? So the real reason
you broke up with Luke

982
00:51:56,783 --> 00:51:57,951
was 'cause of his big teeth?

983
00:52:02,389 --> 00:52:04,758
If you had told me the truth,
it would've been weird.

984
00:52:04,791 --> 00:52:06,268
But I still would've wanted
to come because

985
00:52:06,292 --> 00:52:08,828
I would've been with you
and we always have fun together.

986
00:52:08,862 --> 00:52:13,042
- But, this changes things.
- Okay, wait. Lexa, wait.

987
00:52:13,066 --> 00:52:15,044
- Ooh, ooh, ooh! Do it with me.
- No.

988
00:52:15,068 --> 00:52:16,746
Just one time.
Looking through the glass...

989
00:52:16,770 --> 00:52:19,906
- Peter, stop.
- Ooh, ooh! Over things?

990
00:52:19,939 --> 00:52:21,241
Your turn. Chime in. Please.

991
00:52:21,274 --> 00:52:22,809
You can't just sing
the <i>Jacob Song</i>

992
00:52:22,842 --> 00:52:24,210
and expect everything
to be better.

993
00:52:25,478 --> 00:52:26,846
Not this time.

994
00:52:30,083 --> 00:52:31,084
I feel gross.

995
00:52:57,510 --> 00:52:59,145
Hey!

996
00:52:59,179 --> 00:53:00,513
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

997
00:53:00,547 --> 00:53:04,484
- Came to get a paper clip. Yeah.
- Oh, cool. Nice.

998
00:53:04,517 --> 00:53:06,028
Last week would've been
our anniversary.

999
00:53:06,052 --> 00:53:08,221
- You know? Yeah.
- I know. Yeah. Yeah.

1000
00:53:08,254 --> 00:53:09,799
So, I know that things
are weird between us

1001
00:53:09,823 --> 00:53:11,400
but I was wondering if you
wanted to come over

1002
00:53:11,424 --> 00:53:13,593
for dinner Thursday?

1003
00:53:13,626 --> 00:53:15,338
That night that you proposed,
I said some things

1004
00:53:15,362 --> 00:53:16,730
that I shouldn't have and...

1005
00:53:16,763 --> 00:53:18,498
I-I just would
really like to talk.

1006
00:53:18,531 --> 00:53:22,202
- Because, I, I miss you.
- Yeah. Um, well, I gotta...

1007
00:53:22,235 --> 00:53:23,570
I gotta get these to Dave.

1008
00:53:23,603 --> 00:53:26,373
- 'Cause Dave said he needed...
- Yeah. Dave.

1009
00:53:26,406 --> 00:53:28,074
Oh, you're gonna do it
right now? Okay.

1010
00:53:28,108 --> 00:53:29,542
Yeah. Except, Dave's
the other way.

1011
00:53:29,576 --> 00:53:31,211
No, I know, I know,
I was just looking.

1012
00:53:31,244 --> 00:53:32,579
Okay.

1013
00:53:32,612 --> 00:53:35,448
Uh, Thursday, invitation's open.

1014
00:53:36,783 --> 00:53:40,820
Yeah, not for you.
No offense. Yeah.

1015
00:53:43,790 --> 00:53:44,791
Yeah.

1016
00:53:53,600 --> 00:53:55,235
Hey!

1017
00:53:55,268 --> 00:53:57,303
- Yeah?
- You're ready to go?

1018
00:53:58,805 --> 00:54:00,573
Doug and Ella? Dinner?

1019
00:54:00,607 --> 00:54:03,576
Oh God, yeah, I forgot.
Can you just make up a lie?

1020
00:54:03,610 --> 00:54:06,088
I don't want to deal with them
asking questions about our trip.

1021
00:54:06,112 --> 00:54:08,314
You're gonna make me
face them alone.

1022
00:54:08,348 --> 00:54:10,216
Seems like the least
you can do, yeah.

1023
00:54:10,250 --> 00:54:12,152
No, don't do this to me.

1024
00:54:12,185 --> 00:54:13,629
Ella's gonna figure out
that we got in a fight.

1025
00:54:13,653 --> 00:54:15,798
- She's gonna yell at me.
- She's a great friend that way.

1026
00:54:15,822 --> 00:54:17,533
And then Doug gonna drink
too many wine spritzers

1027
00:54:17,557 --> 00:54:19,626
and start crying about
how much he loves Blake.

1028
00:54:19,659 --> 00:54:23,063
Phew! That sounds
awful. God speed.

1029
00:54:24,831 --> 00:54:25,831
Lexa?

1030
00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:28,368
Please.

1031
00:54:29,536 --> 00:54:31,638
I'm just a poor boy.

1032
00:54:34,341 --> 00:54:37,210
Fine.

1033
00:54:37,243 --> 00:54:39,646
Give me like five minutes
to get dressed.

1034
00:54:39,679 --> 00:54:40,680
Okay.

1035
00:54:49,189 --> 00:54:51,658
Welcome to Casa de Doug
y Ella y Blake!

1036
00:54:51,691 --> 00:54:53,960
- Wow, take it down a notch.
- What? It's Fiesta Night.

1037
00:54:53,993 --> 00:54:56,996
I made fiesta fajitas.
Come on, feel the music.

1038
00:54:57,097 --> 00:54:59,699
- Okay, all right.
- Would you give us a minute?

1039
00:55:02,135 --> 00:55:03,670
- What're you doing?
- Let's make up.

1040
00:55:03,703 --> 00:55:06,072
I'm over this fight. Yeah.
I thought about it and what you

1041
00:55:06,106 --> 00:55:07,683
did wasn't that bad, plus,
I think we're gonna need

1042
00:55:07,707 --> 00:55:09,018
each other to get through
this Fiesta night.

1043
00:55:09,042 --> 00:55:10,844
You know,
the door isn't sound proof.

1044
00:55:10,877 --> 00:55:12,521
If we're fighting,
they're gonna pick up on it.

1045
00:55:12,545 --> 00:55:14,347
It's gonna make this
even weirder.

1046
00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:16,025
- Okay, um...
- Super thin.

1047
00:55:16,049 --> 00:55:17,717
It's definitely gonna get weird.

1048
00:55:17,751 --> 00:55:19,328
Okay, so you wanna just skip
to the end where

1049
00:55:19,352 --> 00:55:20,854
we make up like we always do?

1050
00:55:20,887 --> 00:55:22,727
Yeah, if that's how you wanna
look at it, sure.

1051
00:55:22,756 --> 00:55:25,392
- But it feels so easy.
- Take the win, <i>Lambida.</i>

1052
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:28,528
<i>- Ole.</i>
- Hey.

1053
00:55:28,561 --> 00:55:31,598
- Hi!
- Hi, wow!

1054
00:55:31,631 --> 00:55:33,733
- Did you hear us fighting?
- I heard everything.

1055
00:55:33,767 --> 00:55:34,777
- Thank you.
- You doing okay?

1056
00:55:34,801 --> 00:55:36,169
- Yeah.
- Hi.

1057
00:55:36,202 --> 00:55:37,203
Welcome.

1058
00:55:37,237 --> 00:55:38,972
I was kidding.

1059
00:55:39,072 --> 00:55:41,374
No, it's so horrible,
they like suck up your blood,

1060
00:55:41,408 --> 00:55:42,509
you're their food source.

1061
00:55:42,542 --> 00:55:44,277
Argh! I'm gotta throw up.

1062
00:55:44,310 --> 00:55:45,879
This was delicious Doug,
thank you.

1063
00:55:45,912 --> 00:55:48,214
Taylor gave us the recipe
actually, sorry.

1064
00:55:48,248 --> 00:55:49,725
Oh, that's okay,
you can say her name.

1065
00:55:49,749 --> 00:55:52,652
Yeah. That's not awkward at all.

1066
00:55:52,686 --> 00:55:54,454
- Don't make that noise.
- What?

1067
00:55:54,487 --> 00:55:56,289
That noise. That's gross,
we have guests.

1068
00:55:56,322 --> 00:55:57,362
- I don't care.
- I'm fine.

1069
00:55:57,390 --> 00:55:58,892
See, they don't care.

1070
00:55:58,925 --> 00:56:00,736
I think you're being polite
because it's disgusting.

1071
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,763
I think, they all remember you
slipping on your own vomit.

1072
00:56:03,797 --> 00:56:05,237
- I remember that.
- I remember that.

1073
00:56:05,265 --> 00:56:06,599
And, it doesn't matter.

1074
00:56:07,500 --> 00:56:09,302
What? Gosh, does it count?

1075
00:56:09,336 --> 00:56:11,071
- Yes, it does.
- Those are tense.

1076
00:56:13,606 --> 00:56:15,475
- Are you...
- Are you, what?

1077
00:56:15,508 --> 00:56:19,679
- In AA?
- No. Why would you ask that?

1078
00:56:19,713 --> 00:56:23,783
- You're pregnant.
- Oh! No, um...

1079
00:56:23,817 --> 00:56:26,028
- I was going to some meetings.
- You're pregnant.

1080
00:56:26,052 --> 00:56:28,054
- Because you stopped drinking.
- I'm not pregnant.

1081
00:56:28,088 --> 00:56:29,932
Wait a minute, I haven't seen
you smoke in weeks.

1082
00:56:29,956 --> 00:56:31,958
- You were smoking?
- You're in the family way.

1083
00:56:32,058 --> 00:56:33,793
- With child.
- I had to give up my cigars.

1084
00:56:33,827 --> 00:56:35,528
And this whole time
you've been smoking?

1085
00:56:35,562 --> 00:56:37,597
Hey, okay. First of all,

1086
00:56:37,630 --> 00:56:39,165
I don't big, not even
metaphorically.

1087
00:56:39,199 --> 00:56:40,734
- I know that.
- Second of all.

1088
00:56:40,767 --> 00:56:42,969
When you smoke cigars
you smell like my father.

1089
00:56:43,069 --> 00:56:45,772
I was starting to have very
complicated dreams.

1090
00:56:45,805 --> 00:56:48,050
And third of all,
I am not pregnant.

1091
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:56,216
- She's pregnant!
- Doug!

1092
00:56:56,249 --> 00:56:57,484
- I'm sorry. What?
- Oh, God!

1093
00:56:57,517 --> 00:56:59,619
I'm sorry. I had to tell.
I'm so excited.

1094
00:56:59,652 --> 00:57:04,824
- Yaay! Congratulations.
- Jesus, um, I'm at ten weeks.

1095
00:57:04,858 --> 00:57:06,760
We just had agreed
not to tell anyone

1096
00:57:06,793 --> 00:57:09,129
because we've had some false
starts, so...

1097
00:57:09,162 --> 00:57:10,162
Yeah.

1098
00:57:11,731 --> 00:57:14,067
- And we're moving to suburbs.
- Damn it, Doug.

1099
00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:15,735
I told you, I'm bursting.

1100
00:57:15,769 --> 00:57:17,137
- Wow!
- Yeah!

1101
00:57:17,170 --> 00:57:19,105
Good schools, the kids
will have a backyard...

1102
00:57:19,139 --> 00:57:20,774
I guess they know
what the suburbs are.

1103
00:57:20,807 --> 00:57:22,451
But I thought you guys were
such city people.

1104
00:57:22,475 --> 00:57:24,020
Where're you thinking?
Like, Evans ton?

1105
00:57:24,044 --> 00:57:26,022
Well, we've just put an offer
on a place in Oak Park.

1106
00:57:26,046 --> 00:57:28,848
- Oak Park, that's on my list.
- Your "list?"

1107
00:57:28,882 --> 00:57:30,583
I mean,
it just makes sense. Right?

1108
00:57:30,617 --> 00:57:32,652
Quick commute for work,
the kids will have fun.

1109
00:57:32,686 --> 00:57:36,356
We're going up.
Moving to the suburbs!

1110
00:57:36,389 --> 00:57:39,726
- Nice.
- Yes, really nice.

1111
00:57:41,361 --> 00:57:42,529
And you're excited?

1112
00:57:44,531 --> 00:57:46,733
- Yes, I'm excited.
- Yes!

1113
00:57:46,766 --> 00:57:49,202
I'll drink to that. Cheers.

1114
00:57:49,235 --> 00:57:53,073
- Congratulations, guys.
- Thank you, thank you.

1115
00:57:53,106 --> 00:57:55,241
So happy for you guys.

1116
00:57:55,275 --> 00:57:57,844
- Please drink my wine.
- Happy for you.

1117
00:57:57,877 --> 00:57:59,479
I could cry right now.
But I'm not gonna.

1118
00:57:59,512 --> 00:58:00,880
You look little jealous today.

1119
00:58:00,914 --> 00:58:04,651
Please don't. You haven't
even had dessert yet.

1120
00:58:15,095 --> 00:58:19,733
- I'm too big a screw up for you.
- You are not a screw up.

1121
00:58:19,766 --> 00:58:21,644
A baby called me a screw up at
the supermarket the other...

1122
00:58:21,668 --> 00:58:23,570
A baby did not call you
a screw up.

1123
00:58:23,603 --> 00:58:25,872
- He did. With his eyes.
- You're a lunatic.

1124
00:58:25,905 --> 00:58:27,774
- But you aren't a screw up.
- I am.

1125
00:58:27,807 --> 00:58:29,618
Okay, if you're a screw up,
then I'm a screw up.

1126
00:58:29,642 --> 00:58:32,112
- That's adorable.
- I pee in the shower.

1127
00:58:32,145 --> 00:58:36,383
- Not sometimes, every day.
- That's all you got?

1128
00:58:36,416 --> 00:58:39,386
Sometimes I pee in the shower
when I'm not taking a shower.

1129
00:58:39,419 --> 00:58:41,721
Why? It's really weird.

1130
00:58:41,755 --> 00:58:43,566
I lost my neighbor's cat
and instead of telling him,

1131
00:58:43,590 --> 00:58:45,658
I replaced it with a cat
from the shelter.

1132
00:58:48,428 --> 00:58:50,930
I forgot to pay my bills,

1133
00:58:50,964 --> 00:58:53,500
so I didn't have hot water
or power for three weeks.

1134
00:58:53,533 --> 00:58:55,935
I sometimes go to soup kitchens
just to watch homeless people

1135
00:58:55,969 --> 00:58:57,470
and feel better about myself.

1136
00:58:57,504 --> 00:59:00,073
Well, you know what?
You're a bad person.

1137
00:59:00,106 --> 00:59:02,342
But you're not a screw up.

1138
00:59:02,375 --> 00:59:03,677
Who cares?

1139
00:59:03,710 --> 00:59:06,713
You should. You want to move
to the suburbs.

1140
00:59:08,014 --> 00:59:10,617
- Yeah, one day.
- Yeah. With a wife and kids...

1141
00:59:10,650 --> 00:59:12,886
Well, I don't need
the picket fence thing.

1142
00:59:12,919 --> 00:59:14,463
- But, yeah, that's the idea.
- Well, you can't do that.

1143
00:59:14,487 --> 00:59:16,766
With someone who's life is a
mess. I mean, I guess you could,

1144
00:59:16,790 --> 00:59:18,501
like my mom did.
But look how that turned out.

1145
00:59:18,525 --> 00:59:20,593
You're not a mess.
You turned out great.

1146
00:59:20,627 --> 00:59:21,928
What're you talking about?

1147
00:59:25,031 --> 00:59:28,568
I didn't break up with Luke
because of his teeth.

1148
00:59:28,601 --> 00:59:31,838
I actually really
loved his beaver teeth.

1149
00:59:31,871 --> 00:59:34,016
But he started bringing
up the future.

1150
00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:38,912
The wife and the kids, and I
felt myself pushing him away.

1151
00:59:38,945 --> 00:59:41,448
And then, Luke met
Kimberly Mint.

1152
00:59:41,481 --> 00:59:42,649
Kimberly's are bitches.

1153
00:59:42,682 --> 00:59:46,786
Maybe, but she was ready
for all that.

1154
00:59:46,820 --> 00:59:48,621
And Luke fell in love
with her instead.

1155
00:59:48,655 --> 00:59:52,826
And when that happened,
I fell apart.

1156
00:59:52,859 --> 00:59:55,528
I drank too much,
and I smoked too much.

1157
00:59:55,562 --> 00:59:58,531
And, I messed up at work
and got fired.

1158
00:59:58,565 --> 00:59:59,733
- The sandwich place?
- Yeah.

1159
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,002
- Free sandwiches?
- Yeah.

1160
01:00:02,035 --> 01:00:03,379
And then my landlord
threatened to evict me

1161
01:00:03,403 --> 01:00:05,138
so I moved back here.

1162
01:00:07,807 --> 01:00:10,377
You're ready for
something serious.

1163
01:00:10,410 --> 01:00:12,912
And that's great.

1164
01:00:12,946 --> 01:00:15,982
But I don't know if I'm ever
gonna be a Kimberly Mint.

1165
01:00:40,006 --> 01:00:41,283
Why're you looking at me
like that?

1166
01:00:41,307 --> 01:00:43,009
- Try it.
- Well, now, I don't want to.

1167
01:00:43,043 --> 01:00:45,812
- Just try it.
- You try it.

1168
01:00:45,845 --> 01:00:47,347
I didn't do anything
weird to it.

1169
01:00:51,051 --> 01:00:52,652
I don't know.

1170
01:00:52,686 --> 01:00:54,263
You're seriously going to ruin
this right now, aren't you?

1171
01:00:54,287 --> 01:00:55,598
Ruin what?
Your assassination attempt?

1172
01:00:55,622 --> 01:00:57,390
It's only an assassination

1173
01:00:57,424 --> 01:00:59,459
attempt if you're of
international significance.

1174
01:00:59,492 --> 01:01:01,270
But you don't denying
you're trying to kill me?

1175
01:01:01,294 --> 01:01:04,164
It's eggplant parmigiana,
Peter. Eggplant.

1176
01:01:04,197 --> 01:01:07,334
- Oh! So, I'm the butthole.
- Mm-hm. Yeah.

1177
01:01:13,073 --> 01:01:14,908
- It's good.
- You hate it.

1178
01:01:14,941 --> 01:01:16,676
I want to like it,
but it's not me.

1179
01:01:16,710 --> 01:01:19,079
I went to the dark side
and I can't come back.

1180
01:01:19,112 --> 01:01:21,114
- You're unbelievable.
- Actually, yeah, no.

1181
01:01:21,147 --> 01:01:23,516
The tastes are kicking in
at the end and it's now

1182
01:01:23,550 --> 01:01:25,518
forming a beautiful thing
that you've done.

1183
01:01:25,552 --> 01:01:27,620
Thank you, I'm gonna
keep eating it, watch.

1184
01:01:27,654 --> 01:01:29,889
Watch this. Ready? Hm!

1185
01:01:29,923 --> 01:01:31,300
When I said "No" to your
proposal, I said

1186
01:01:31,324 --> 01:01:34,494
it was because you weren't ready
but I wasn't ready.

1187
01:01:34,527 --> 01:01:36,007
You-you weren't who I was
expecting to

1188
01:01:36,096 --> 01:01:37,797
end up with,
you think farts are funny.

1189
01:01:37,831 --> 01:01:40,076
Well, objectively they are.
Like scientifically.

1190
01:01:40,100 --> 01:01:41,243
You didn't have
health insurance until

1191
01:01:41,267 --> 01:01:42,578
I gave it to you
for your birthday.

1192
01:01:42,602 --> 01:01:44,504
You're a man-child,
it freaked me out and...

1193
01:01:44,537 --> 01:01:46,582
Wait, did you just invite me
over to insult my personality?

1194
01:01:46,606 --> 01:01:49,109
I invited you over to
ask you to marry me.

1195
01:01:50,643 --> 01:01:51,911
What?

1196
01:01:53,580 --> 01:01:56,649
- Oh, my God! Are you dying?
- Why would I be dying?

1197
01:01:56,683 --> 01:01:58,561
I don't know. Why would you
ask me to marry you?

1198
01:01:58,585 --> 01:02:00,787
- You annoy the shit out of me.
- Okay.

1199
01:02:00,820 --> 01:02:03,957
And, there are so many things
that, that drive me crazy

1200
01:02:04,057 --> 01:02:05,134
about you, like, you-you leave

1201
01:02:05,158 --> 01:02:07,527
your dirty socks
in my living room.

1202
01:02:07,560 --> 01:02:10,039
And-and you put the empty milk
carton back in the fridge

1203
01:02:10,063 --> 01:02:11,640
instead of throwing it out,
and you've made

1204
01:02:11,664 --> 01:02:14,043
the 11 o'clock news
into a drinking game,

1205
01:02:14,067 --> 01:02:16,670
for God's sake but for some
stupid reason

1206
01:02:16,703 --> 01:02:18,381
you're the first person I think
about in the morning,

1207
01:02:18,405 --> 01:02:20,373
and the last person
I think about at night.

1208
01:02:20,407 --> 01:02:22,075
I'm just a little bit confused

1209
01:02:22,108 --> 01:02:23,943
because 90 percent of that
was insult.

1210
01:02:23,977 --> 01:02:25,378
And a ten percent stalker.

1211
01:02:25,412 --> 01:02:27,147
Well, I love you so much
I can look past

1212
01:02:27,180 --> 01:02:29,516
all of your glaring flaws.

1213
01:02:29,549 --> 01:02:31,584
Thank you.

1214
01:02:31,618 --> 01:02:33,062
You're the person
that I can't live without

1215
01:02:33,086 --> 01:02:35,321
that I don't want to
live without.

1216
01:02:35,355 --> 01:02:37,991
- You broke up with me, Taylor.
- I know.

1217
01:02:38,091 --> 01:02:39,993
I just, I-I was nervous that,
that you

1218
01:02:40,093 --> 01:02:41,671
and I could never have
what you and Lexa have.

1219
01:02:41,695 --> 01:02:43,530
I broke up with you
because I was scared

1220
01:02:43,563 --> 01:02:45,932
and dumb, not because
I stopped loving you.

1221
01:02:47,100 --> 01:02:48,702
I never stopped loving you
either.

1222
01:02:50,136 --> 01:02:51,304
Then let's get married.

1223
01:02:52,806 --> 01:02:54,083
I can't.

1224
01:02:54,107 --> 01:02:55,442
Why? Give me one
good reason why.

1225
01:02:57,811 --> 01:02:59,846
I'm dating Lexa.

1226
01:02:59,879 --> 01:03:02,482
Oh! That's a good reason.

1227
01:03:03,650 --> 01:03:06,720
- Yeah.
- Is it serious?

1228
01:03:06,753 --> 01:03:09,689
I don't know, it's complicated,
it's been a month only but...

1229
01:03:13,727 --> 01:03:16,963
Yeah, I don't, I don't know
what else to say, Taylor.

1230
01:03:18,798 --> 01:03:20,066
Say you'll marry me.

1231
01:03:30,477 --> 01:03:31,478
Lexa?

1232
01:03:32,212 --> 01:03:33,380
I need to talk to you.

1233
01:03:35,715 --> 01:03:36,716
Lexa?

1234
01:04:14,254 --> 01:04:16,156
Can you just... I don't know.

1235
01:04:16,189 --> 01:04:18,458
Call her a cab
to go somewhere else?

1236
01:04:18,491 --> 01:04:20,427
We can't kick her out.

1237
01:04:20,460 --> 01:04:22,462
I'm not saying to
kick her out. I'm just saying

1238
01:04:22,495 --> 01:04:25,041
at a certain point,
you're too old to be

1239
01:04:25,065 --> 01:04:27,167
crashing at people's places.

1240
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:28,868
She's going through
a really rough time.

1241
01:04:28,902 --> 01:04:30,837
We're all going through
a rough time, sweetie.

1242
01:04:30,870 --> 01:04:34,507
That's literally what being
an adult is, a rough time.

1243
01:04:34,541 --> 01:04:38,378
Jeez! When did you become
so hard-hearted?

1244
01:04:38,411 --> 01:04:41,414
I just want my living room,
is that so wrong?

1245
01:04:42,782 --> 01:04:43,783
She's our friend.

1246
01:04:45,251 --> 01:04:47,320
You ever wonder if we met
some of the people

1247
01:04:47,354 --> 01:04:48,722
we're friends with now,

1248
01:04:48,755 --> 01:04:50,357
we'd still want to be
friends with them?

1249
01:04:57,530 --> 01:05:01,067
- Journal about it. Okay.
- Oh, I will.

1250
01:05:03,570 --> 01:05:07,173
- Wife was rude.
- Wife is hot as shit.

1251
01:05:10,777 --> 01:05:13,113
Aren't you old to-old to
be a babysitter?

1252
01:05:13,146 --> 01:05:16,416
- No.
- My last babysitter was 14.

1253
01:05:16,449 --> 01:05:18,818
Oh, so your parents made
two bad decisions I see.

1254
01:05:18,852 --> 01:05:22,489
Yeah, well, Lexa's my babysitter
for now but she also has an app.

1255
01:05:22,522 --> 01:05:25,091
- So...
- Yeah. That's right.

1256
01:05:27,427 --> 01:05:30,497
So do you still have to live
with your parents?

1257
01:05:33,867 --> 01:05:37,270
Listen. Being an adult is hard.

1258
01:05:37,303 --> 01:05:38,781
Harder than people tell you,
and sometimes

1259
01:05:38,805 --> 01:05:40,449
your plans don't work out
and your whole life

1260
01:05:40,473 --> 01:05:42,442
goes to hell and the worst part
about it is

1261
01:05:42,475 --> 01:05:44,086
nobody is even surprised because
you're just fulfilling

1262
01:05:44,110 --> 01:05:46,680
this little prophecy that they
had in their head for you.

1263
01:05:46,713 --> 01:05:49,883
So, basically everything about
being an adult sucks.

1264
01:05:52,318 --> 01:05:54,554
Shit! I'm sorry.

1265
01:05:54,587 --> 01:05:59,259
- Please, don't do that. Um...
- Being an adult sucks?

1266
01:05:59,292 --> 01:06:01,003
Lexa, fix it, fix it, fix it!

1267
01:06:01,027 --> 01:06:05,265
It's just gonna suck for a long
time and then you die?

1268
01:06:05,298 --> 01:06:07,934
- That's it?
- No! No, no, no. No, no.

1269
01:06:08,034 --> 01:06:09,469
That's not what's gonna happen.

1270
01:06:09,502 --> 01:06:11,805
You seem like a great kid
with rich enough parents

1271
01:06:11,838 --> 01:06:13,282
so, you're probably gonna be
totally fine

1272
01:06:13,306 --> 01:06:15,017
even if you have a run
for a few years,

1273
01:06:15,041 --> 01:06:16,619
it's gonna be cool,
you're gonna be cool.

1274
01:06:16,643 --> 01:06:18,878
So, just relax.

1275
01:06:18,912 --> 01:06:20,847
And here, have a string cheese.

1276
01:06:20,880 --> 01:06:22,882
I'm not supposed to have dairy.

1277
01:06:22,916 --> 01:06:24,184
I won't tell if you don't.

1278
01:06:27,620 --> 01:06:29,456
Thank you.

1279
01:06:29,489 --> 01:06:32,859
Okay, listen, you guys.
You're great.

1280
01:06:32,892 --> 01:06:34,928
And, I'm a screw-up.

1281
01:06:34,961 --> 01:06:36,605
You guys don't have anything
to worry about.

1282
01:06:36,629 --> 01:06:39,232
- Oh, my God! Stop.
- What?

1283
01:06:39,265 --> 01:06:42,535
Your biggest problem is you.
You're so mopey.

1284
01:06:42,569 --> 01:06:46,506
But your life is pretty good.
You kind of have a job,

1285
01:06:46,539 --> 01:06:49,743
you get to hang out with me all
day which is obviously sick.

1286
01:06:49,776 --> 01:06:52,879
You have an app
which could totally fail,

1287
01:06:52,912 --> 01:06:55,181
but at least you're trying
to do something.

1288
01:06:55,215 --> 01:06:56,616
Most adults don't even try.

1289
01:06:56,649 --> 01:07:00,520
They settle down and get
a 9 to 5, like my dad.

1290
01:07:00,553 --> 01:07:01,788
- Your dad's great.
- No shit.

1291
01:07:01,821 --> 01:07:04,491
He's the best,
but he's not brave.

1292
01:07:07,594 --> 01:07:10,296
Ugh, all this motivational
speaking made me tired

1293
01:07:10,330 --> 01:07:12,465
and hungry, I'm gonna take
a snack break.

1294
01:07:16,870 --> 01:07:17,937
Olivia?

1295
01:07:52,338 --> 01:07:54,540
<i>Hey, Lex. I wanted to
talk to you in person</i>

1296
01:07:54,573 --> 01:07:56,542
<i>but I think you're avoiding me.</i>

1297
01:07:56,575 --> 01:07:59,912
<i>Which I totally understand.</i>

1298
01:08:00,012 --> 01:08:04,917
<i>But um, Taylor asked me
to marry her.</i>

1299
01:08:05,017 --> 01:08:09,121
<i>And, I think I might say yes.</i>

1300
01:08:09,154 --> 01:08:13,058
<i>Um, I know, it's awkward
over a voice message,</i>

1301
01:08:13,092 --> 01:08:16,128
<i>but I don't know how to get
a hold of you.</i>

1302
01:08:16,161 --> 01:08:19,098
<i>Uh, so, I don't know
what else to say.</i>

1303
01:08:19,131 --> 01:08:23,902
<i>But I-I hope you are doing
good, uh, yeah.</i>

1304
01:08:23,936 --> 01:08:25,104
<i>Take care.</i>

1305
01:08:36,582 --> 01:08:38,484
Hey, how's it going?

1306
01:08:38,517 --> 01:08:41,453
- What?
- You like music?

1307
01:08:41,487 --> 01:08:43,155
- What?
- Music?

1308
01:08:43,188 --> 01:08:44,590
- This music?
- Yeah.

1309
01:08:44,623 --> 01:08:47,593
- My ears are bleeding.
- I know. It's great.

1310
01:09:10,015 --> 01:09:11,016
Whoo!

1311
01:09:13,786 --> 01:09:16,121
Oh, that was new.

1312
01:09:16,155 --> 01:09:18,724
- Good new? Yeah?
- Yeah. Like, great! Great!

1313
01:09:20,192 --> 01:09:22,528
Where'd you learn that?

1314
01:09:22,561 --> 01:09:26,732
- Hm, um...
- Right. Mm-hm. Yeah, yeah.

1315
01:09:26,765 --> 01:09:28,667
I'm gonna shower.

1316
01:09:36,675 --> 01:09:37,675
Oh, my God!

1317
01:09:45,384 --> 01:09:50,122
Pete, so like...
what was it like dating her?

1318
01:09:50,155 --> 01:09:51,724
Peter? I know you can hear me.

1319
01:09:51,757 --> 01:09:55,761
This is a trap. This
whole conversation is a trap.

1320
01:09:55,794 --> 01:09:57,663
- It's a simple question.
- Okay.

1321
01:09:57,696 --> 01:10:00,632
I-I'm not the bad guy here.
I played by the rules.

1322
01:10:00,666 --> 01:10:02,101
You broke up with me.

1323
01:10:02,134 --> 01:10:04,803
I didn't tell you to sleep
with your best friend!

1324
01:10:04,837 --> 01:10:06,939
I know that you're hurt right
now but I did not

1325
01:10:06,972 --> 01:10:08,273
cheat on you, I was depressed

1326
01:10:08,307 --> 01:10:09,784
and I was looking for someone
to feel better.

1327
01:10:09,808 --> 01:10:12,144
- So wait, it was a rebound?
- Yes. No, a 100 percent.

1328
01:10:12,177 --> 01:10:14,113
It was a mistake.
She's gasoline, I'm a match.

1329
01:10:14,146 --> 01:10:15,948
You're the person
I'm meant to be with.

1330
01:10:15,981 --> 01:10:18,150
And it's over?

1331
01:10:18,183 --> 01:10:20,252
It's complicated.
I'll, I'll fix...

1332
01:10:20,285 --> 01:10:22,821
You didn't fix it already?
Like, what does that mean?

1333
01:10:22,855 --> 01:10:25,758
And why is your junk covered?
What are you doing?

1334
01:10:25,791 --> 01:10:27,226
'Cause this is a hostile
situation.

1335
01:10:27,259 --> 01:10:30,562
"Hostile?" It's not hostile,
Peter. I love you.

1336
01:10:30,596 --> 01:10:34,667
I'm in no hostility towards him.
He's my... I love him.

1337
01:10:34,700 --> 01:10:36,168
- I deserve him.
- You deserve it.

1338
01:10:36,201 --> 01:10:38,437
I deserve to see him
at all times.

1339
01:10:38,470 --> 01:10:39,470
Yes, you do.

1340
01:10:40,339 --> 01:10:41,339
Come on.

1341
01:10:43,442 --> 01:10:46,078
Okay, don't-don't pee
in the shower, please.

1342
01:10:54,586 --> 01:10:55,586
How have you been?

1343
01:10:56,789 --> 01:10:58,624
I slept with a kid named River.

1344
01:10:59,525 --> 01:11:00,659
- No.
- Yep.

1345
01:11:00,693 --> 01:11:02,261
I screwed a River,
you nailed a Pond.

1346
01:11:02,294 --> 01:11:04,630
Her name was Lake.

1347
01:11:04,663 --> 01:11:07,099
Oh, I saw your app in the app
store. It's really great.

1348
01:11:07,132 --> 01:11:08,967
Oh, were you one of the
nine people

1349
01:11:09,068 --> 01:11:10,336
that have downloaded it so far?

1350
01:11:10,369 --> 01:11:13,048
- Well, these things take time.
- Yeah, I tried.

1351
01:11:13,072 --> 01:11:14,473
There's something to that,
right?

1352
01:11:14,506 --> 01:11:16,742
Exactly. Yeah. You should be
proud of yourself.

1353
01:11:16,775 --> 01:11:18,444
- I am.
- Good.

1354
01:11:24,149 --> 01:11:26,552
Can we not do this anymore?
This sucks.

1355
01:11:26,585 --> 01:11:28,954
- Can we just go back to normal?
- That's not that easy.

1356
01:11:28,987 --> 01:11:31,256
Yes, it is. We agreed that if
dating didn't work out,

1357
01:11:31,290 --> 01:11:32,334
we would go back
to being friends

1358
01:11:32,358 --> 01:11:33,859
just like nothing had changed.

1359
01:11:33,892 --> 01:11:36,595
- Things did change.
- Why? Because we had sex?

1360
01:11:36,628 --> 01:11:38,163
No, because I'm engaged.

1361
01:11:38,197 --> 01:11:41,133
- Bro's before hoes. Yes, I am.
- You're not my bro.

1362
01:11:41,166 --> 01:11:43,002
I don't sleep
with my other bro's.

1363
01:11:44,203 --> 01:11:45,380
So this is because we had sex.

1364
01:11:45,404 --> 01:11:48,374
No, it's because
I'm getting married

1365
01:11:48,407 --> 01:11:52,011
and I can't put our friendship
above everything else anymore.

1366
01:11:52,978 --> 01:11:55,147
I'm not asking you to do that.

1367
01:11:55,180 --> 01:11:57,483
I can't hurt Taylor anymore.

1368
01:11:57,516 --> 01:11:59,451
I'm not asking you to
do that either.

1369
01:12:00,853 --> 01:12:03,031
I think we just need
to take some space.

1370
01:12:03,055 --> 01:12:05,500
How much space do you need? We
already haven't spoken in weeks.

1371
01:12:05,524 --> 01:12:08,660
Well, as much as it takes to
make her feel okay.

1372
01:12:08,694 --> 01:12:11,039
Wait, are, are you
friend-dumping me right now?

1373
01:12:11,063 --> 01:12:14,042
I wish there was another way,
but I-I-I just can't see it.

1374
01:12:14,066 --> 01:12:17,403
Okay, so not only can we not go
back to being best friends

1375
01:12:17,436 --> 01:12:20,072
like you agreed we would, but
we can't be friends at all?

1376
01:12:22,074 --> 01:12:23,342
I don't know what else to say.

1377
01:12:28,347 --> 01:12:29,815
I want to kill you right now.

1378
01:12:33,218 --> 01:12:35,120
How? By tying me to two horse

1379
01:12:35,154 --> 01:12:36,689
drawn carts
and having them run...

1380
01:12:36,722 --> 01:12:37,723
Oh, Lex!

1381
01:12:54,873 --> 01:12:57,976
Okay, um, these...
Your butt looks

1382
01:12:58,010 --> 01:13:00,021
really good in this.

1383
01:13:00,045 --> 01:13:01,914
- Keep?
- Yes.

1384
01:13:03,315 --> 01:13:06,485
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Totally.

1385
01:13:06,518 --> 01:13:08,287
You excited about tonight?

1386
01:13:08,320 --> 01:13:10,356
Not really, you know.

1387
01:13:10,389 --> 01:13:12,624
Bachelorettes are a rite
of passage, right?

1388
01:13:12,658 --> 01:13:15,327
- I suppose.
- What are you boys doing?

1389
01:13:15,361 --> 01:13:18,197
Oh. Well, if there is a God,
nothing.

1390
01:13:18,230 --> 01:13:19,798
- Keep box.
- Yes.

1391
01:13:19,832 --> 01:13:23,202
I just want to get a giant
family size box of White Castle.

1392
01:13:23,235 --> 01:13:25,547
You know what women think? Let
me tell you what women think.

1393
01:13:25,571 --> 01:13:27,048
Yeah, I love that.

1394
01:13:27,072 --> 01:13:30,075
Women think that men on their
final nights of freedom

1395
01:13:30,109 --> 01:13:31,610
they just want strippers
and beer

1396
01:13:31,643 --> 01:13:34,613
but really, I just want
a place to fart endlessly

1397
01:13:34,646 --> 01:13:36,849
into the sunset
without anybody knowing.

1398
01:13:36,882 --> 01:13:39,184
- They say romance is dead but...
- Nope.

1399
01:13:39,218 --> 01:13:41,854
- Proved me wrong.
- Not with me.

1400
01:13:41,887 --> 01:13:43,722
Anyway. Should I keep this
clock?

1401
01:13:45,090 --> 01:13:46,258
Yeah.

1402
01:13:48,427 --> 01:13:50,562
- Yeah.
- And...

1403
01:13:50,596 --> 01:13:53,074
Let's start with these ones.

1404
01:13:53,098 --> 01:13:54,233
Oh, I need tape.

1405
01:13:55,300 --> 01:13:59,571
- Is she coming today?
- No. No.

1406
01:13:59,605 --> 01:14:01,440
I ended it with her
platonically.

1407
01:14:02,474 --> 01:14:04,677
Oh. You didn't have to do that.

1408
01:14:04,710 --> 01:14:07,880
We are starting
a new chapter in our life.

1409
01:14:07,913 --> 01:14:11,550
And when we are together,
not good.

1410
01:14:11,583 --> 01:14:14,219
I don't want anything to
jeopardize what we have.

1411
01:14:14,253 --> 01:14:16,288
- I love you.
- I love you too.

1412
01:14:17,690 --> 01:14:20,292
- I need tape. Okay.
- Then get tape.

1413
01:14:44,083 --> 01:14:45,384
Lexa!

1414
01:14:47,386 --> 01:14:52,091
Lexa! Lexa!
I know you're in there.

1415
01:14:52,124 --> 01:14:53,826
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

1416
01:14:56,128 --> 01:14:58,097
Ta-da!

1417
01:14:58,130 --> 01:14:59,531
I was at my bachelorette party.

1418
01:15:00,499 --> 01:15:02,267
- You don't say.
- Yeah.

1419
01:15:05,170 --> 01:15:06,739
What is that? What are you...

1420
01:15:11,543 --> 01:15:13,746
I think I did it.

1421
01:15:13,779 --> 01:15:15,914
- Wow!
- I can't marry Peter.

1422
01:15:20,119 --> 01:15:23,622
So, Taylor, as lovely as it is
to see you...

1423
01:15:23,655 --> 01:15:26,925
- I needed to talk to someone.
- And you thought of me.

1424
01:15:28,527 --> 01:15:32,698
I broke him.

1425
01:15:32,731 --> 01:15:37,369
When I met him, his kitchen
cabinets were filled with Legos

1426
01:15:37,403 --> 01:15:39,047
and only two days ago

1427
01:15:39,071 --> 01:15:42,541
his walls were covered
with unframed band posters.

1428
01:15:42,574 --> 01:15:44,543
- Sounds about right.
- And now, no more Legos.

1429
01:15:44,576 --> 01:15:47,646
- No more Sublime.
- I can buy you Sublime poster.

1430
01:15:47,680 --> 01:15:51,517
I took this wonderful strange
man of a boy,

1431
01:15:51,550 --> 01:15:53,452
and I-I-I changed him.

1432
01:15:53,485 --> 01:15:56,855
And he did and he was perfect
before.

1433
01:15:56,889 --> 01:16:00,526
- He wasn't perfect.
- No, he was perfectly imperfect.

1434
01:16:00,559 --> 01:16:03,829
And then I, I-I made him dull,
I made him like me.

1435
01:16:03,862 --> 01:16:06,007
Oh, Taylor, look.
I barely know you.

1436
01:16:06,031 --> 01:16:09,768
But I can say one thing for
certain is, you are not dull.

1437
01:16:09,802 --> 01:16:11,537
Well, we're not fun like
you two.

1438
01:16:11,570 --> 01:16:14,707
Fun gets you sent to
Disneyland jail.

1439
01:16:14,740 --> 01:16:16,742
Look, when Peter and I
are together,

1440
01:16:16,775 --> 01:16:19,678
we become the people
we were when we were 20.

1441
01:16:19,712 --> 01:16:22,581
But the two of you,
when you're together,

1442
01:16:22,614 --> 01:16:25,517
you make each other better.

1443
01:16:25,551 --> 01:16:28,887
Do you think he's making
a mistake marrying me?

1444
01:16:28,921 --> 01:16:31,223
You're putting me
in a really weird position.

1445
01:16:31,256 --> 01:16:35,194
If the two of you get married,
I lose Peter forever.

1446
01:16:35,227 --> 01:16:38,897
But if I stop thinking about
myself for like 30 seconds...

1447
01:16:40,432 --> 01:16:43,068
I do think you two
belong together.

1448
01:16:43,102 --> 01:16:46,572
Really?

1449
01:16:46,605 --> 01:16:49,441
Yeah, really.

1450
01:16:49,475 --> 01:16:52,611
I really love you, I think.

1451
01:16:52,644 --> 01:16:55,547
- Thank you. Oh! Hm!
- Be my maid of honor?

1452
01:16:57,149 --> 01:17:00,419
I think you belong together too,
like not romantically.

1453
01:17:00,452 --> 01:17:03,522
'Cause, that would be weird.
But you know, as friends.

1454
01:17:03,555 --> 01:17:06,325
You should stay friends because
just because I can't give him

1455
01:17:06,358 --> 01:17:09,004
what you give him doesn't mean
that part of him should die.

1456
01:17:09,028 --> 01:17:12,398
Yeah, well, uh, I dumped him
and he friend-dumped me. So...

1457
01:17:12,431 --> 01:17:16,802
I'm gonna fix this, I'm gonna
throw up and I'm gonna fix it.

1458
01:17:16,835 --> 01:17:21,016
What would you say if I wanted
to make out with you?

1459
01:17:21,040 --> 01:17:23,242
Huh, who?

1460
01:17:23,275 --> 01:17:24,510
Okay, all right, hold on.

1461
01:18:00,012 --> 01:18:03,382
- Wake up.
- What is it?

1462
01:18:03,415 --> 01:18:04,993
You left a random woman
in my room.

1463
01:18:05,017 --> 01:18:08,487
Yeah, she was too...
Uh, I'll take care of it.

1464
01:18:08,520 --> 01:18:11,156
Don't bother. She's gone.

1465
01:18:30,276 --> 01:18:32,812
- I don't know, it's kind of...
- He's got this.

1466
01:18:32,846 --> 01:18:35,415
Ah, you want to protect your
face, bro?

1467
01:18:39,152 --> 01:18:41,121
Okay, I'll, I'll be back.

1468
01:18:42,555 --> 01:18:44,057
I can leave if you want me to.

1469
01:18:46,659 --> 01:18:48,561
- Hi.
- Hi.

1470
01:18:48,595 --> 01:18:51,831
Taylor told me about last night.
Thank you for talking her down.

1471
01:18:51,865 --> 01:18:56,236
- It was nothing.
- Also... I'm sorry. I panicked.

1472
01:18:56,269 --> 01:18:58,114
I thought I had to lose you
to save my relationship.

1473
01:18:58,138 --> 01:19:00,407
- And I was a dick.
- You were.

1474
01:19:00,440 --> 01:19:02,575
Do you wanna punch me
in the other eye?

1475
01:19:02,609 --> 01:19:04,487
I feel really bad about that
so, I want to change

1476
01:19:04,511 --> 01:19:05,679
the subject really quickly?

1477
01:19:05,712 --> 01:19:08,014
Sorry, I missed
your bachelor party.

1478
01:19:08,048 --> 01:19:10,684
Oh, it's okay, you were
uninvited by some jerk.

1479
01:19:10,717 --> 01:19:13,853
- Me, I was a jerk. You got that?
- No, yeah, I got that. Yeah.

1480
01:19:13,887 --> 01:19:16,289
You missed quite a night, I mean
I can't remember most of it,

1481
01:19:16,322 --> 01:19:18,191
but apparently I did a karaoke
duet version

1482
01:19:18,224 --> 01:19:20,360
of <i>My Heart Will Go On</i>
with a stripper named Cobra.

1483
01:19:20,393 --> 01:19:23,430
- A female stripper named Cobra?
- I'm not sure.

1484
01:19:23,463 --> 01:19:27,534
- Yeah, undetermined. So...
- How you feeling?

1485
01:19:27,567 --> 01:19:30,437
Honestly, I wasn't nervous until
I saw the church and everything.

1486
01:19:30,470 --> 01:19:32,939
- I'm nervous, whoo!
- You'll do great.

1487
01:19:33,039 --> 01:19:36,476
- You think so?
- Yeah. I know so.

1488
01:19:36,509 --> 01:19:38,321
I want you to pay attention,
because what I'm about to

1489
01:19:38,345 --> 01:19:40,447
tell you just might be the
greatest thing that anyone

1490
01:19:40,480 --> 01:19:43,216
has told another human being
in the history of this planet.

1491
01:19:43,249 --> 01:19:45,051
- Wow!
- Are you ready?

1492
01:19:45,085 --> 01:19:48,355
Yes. No. Yes.

1493
01:19:51,858 --> 01:19:54,561
"I came here tonight,

1494
01:19:54,594 --> 01:19:56,596
I didn't know what to expect."

1495
01:19:56,629 --> 01:19:58,598
"I seen a lot of you people
hatin' me

1496
01:19:58,631 --> 01:20:00,567
"and I didn't know
what to feel about that,

1497
01:20:00,600 --> 01:20:03,670
so I guess they didn't like you
much not either."

1498
01:20:03,703 --> 01:20:07,774
"During this fight, I've seen
a lot of changing,

1499
01:20:07,807 --> 01:20:11,978
the way yous feel about me, and
in the way I felt about you."

1500
01:20:12,012 --> 01:20:16,983
"In here, we were two guys
killing each other,"

1501
01:20:18,551 --> 01:20:20,587
"but I guess that's better than
20 million."

1502
01:20:20,620 --> 01:20:21,955
Love that line.

1503
01:20:21,988 --> 01:20:26,126
"What I'm trying to say is,
if I can change,

1504
01:20:26,159 --> 01:20:30,830
and you can change,
then everybody can change!"

1505
01:20:30,864 --> 01:20:32,899
<i>- Rocky 4.
- Rocky 4.</i>

1506
01:20:32,932 --> 01:20:34,300
- You still got it.
- Yeah.

1507
01:20:36,636 --> 01:20:38,905
Okay.

1508
01:20:38,938 --> 01:20:41,908
- You coming? Okay.
- Yeah, in a second.

1509
01:20:45,412 --> 01:20:47,547
- Good luck.
- Thank you.