1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:10,148 --> 00:00:12,115 [audience cheering] 4 00:00:12,253 --> 00:00:14,014 ROBIN PECKNOLD: This is "The Kiss" by Judee Sill. 5 00:00:16,361 --> 00:00:18,742 Judee Sill, incredible '70s songwriter, 6 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,434 made two of the best albums ever, 7 00:00:20,572 --> 00:00:22,677 "Judee Sill" and "Heart Food." 8 00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:27,337 Um, hugely, hugely influential and incredible artist. 9 00:00:27,475 --> 00:00:30,030 [cheers and applause] 10 00:00:30,168 --> 00:00:33,033 [piano music] 11 00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:43,560 ♪ Love ♪ 12 00:00:43,698 --> 00:00:47,564 ♪ Rising from the mist ♪ 13 00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:53,398 ♪ Promise me ♪ 14 00:00:53,536 --> 00:00:56,746 ♪ This and only this ♪ 15 00:00:56,884 --> 00:01:01,199 ♪ Holy breath touching me ♪ 16 00:01:02,476 --> 00:01:04,857 ♪ Like ♪ 17 00:01:04,995 --> 00:01:08,447 ♪ A windsong ♪ 18 00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:13,556 ♪ Sweet communion ♪ 19 00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:16,559 ♪ Of a kiss ♪ 20 00:01:20,218 --> 00:01:23,117 JUDEE SILL: ♪ Sun ♪ 21 00:01:23,255 --> 00:01:28,950 ♪ Sifting through the grey ♪ 22 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,850 ♪ Enter in ♪ 23 00:01:31,988 --> 00:01:34,956 ♪ And reach me with a ray ♪ 24 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:40,100 ♪ Silently swooping down ♪ 25 00:01:40,238 --> 00:01:45,208 ♪ Just to show me ♪ 26 00:01:46,485 --> 00:01:52,112 ♪ How to give my heart away ♪ 27 00:01:56,046 --> 00:01:57,427 GRAHAM NASH: There was a lot of excitement 28 00:01:57,565 --> 00:02:00,292 about Judee in the business, because here was somebody 29 00:02:00,430 --> 00:02:02,191 who was a strong woman, 30 00:02:02,329 --> 00:02:04,469 who wouldn't take no for an answer, 31 00:02:04,676 --> 00:02:06,264 who tried to guide her own life 32 00:02:06,402 --> 00:02:07,575 the way that she wanted to guide it. 33 00:02:07,713 --> 00:02:09,163 She was pretty fierce. 34 00:02:09,301 --> 00:02:11,131 Uh... 35 00:02:11,269 --> 00:02:13,167 I liked her-- I liked her. 36 00:02:13,305 --> 00:02:14,927 LINDA RONSTADT: She was so talented. 37 00:02:15,065 --> 00:02:16,826 I mean, she had more musical chops 38 00:02:16,964 --> 00:02:18,828 than any of the people on the scene, 39 00:02:18,966 --> 00:02:20,933 except for Brian Wilson. 40 00:02:21,071 --> 00:02:23,212 DAVID GEFFEN: When I met her, she told me she was 41 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:24,972 a heroin addict, that she'd been a prostitute, 42 00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,767 and that she'd been in jail. 43 00:02:26,905 --> 00:02:30,564 So, you know, that's a-- that's a lot of information. 44 00:02:30,702 --> 00:02:31,944 I had no judgment about these things. 45 00:02:32,082 --> 00:02:33,739 I was only interested in her talent. 46 00:02:33,877 --> 00:02:35,845 JUDEE: I used to wish when I first started out 47 00:02:35,983 --> 00:02:37,364 that I could be the greatest living songwriter 48 00:02:37,502 --> 00:02:39,331 in the world. 49 00:02:39,469 --> 00:02:41,678 And I used to wish that every day. 50 00:02:41,816 --> 00:02:43,749 I still want to go to the very top. 51 00:02:43,887 --> 00:02:45,544 In all ways, not just as far as fame, 52 00:02:45,682 --> 00:02:47,615 I mean spiritually, too. 53 00:02:47,753 --> 00:02:50,998 I want to just evolve as high as I can, as fast as I can. 54 00:02:51,136 --> 00:02:52,586 RUSS GIGUERE: She always thought that you could 55 00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:55,416 save someone, save their soul through music. 56 00:02:57,487 --> 00:03:00,732 And she didn't doubt that. She believed it. 57 00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:02,389 ADRIANNE LENKER: A lot of what I feel in there 58 00:03:02,527 --> 00:03:05,046 is this voice of grace, 59 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,910 this curious spirit, 60 00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:10,604 and this part of her that never was damaged. 61 00:03:10,742 --> 00:03:13,883 GRAHAM: You can see from where she wanted to go 62 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,126 that she had a great future. 63 00:03:16,265 --> 00:03:18,370 I just think it's the darker side of Judee 64 00:03:18,508 --> 00:03:20,924 that didn't enable that incredible flower 65 00:03:21,062 --> 00:03:24,583 to grow into a beautiful tree. 66 00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:26,206 JUDEE: That's what I want to write this song about, 67 00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:29,278 that moment of change, that moment of redemption, 68 00:03:29,416 --> 00:03:31,280 where the lowest thing and the highest meet, you know. 69 00:03:32,729 --> 00:03:34,110 Do you think I'm crazy? 70 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,112 [soft piano] 71 00:03:48,538 --> 00:03:50,299 [music fades out] 72 00:03:52,956 --> 00:03:54,372 INTERVIEWER: There are quite a few stories 73 00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:56,753 - about your background. - JUDEE: Oh, tell me some. 74 00:03:56,891 --> 00:03:58,307 INTERVIEWER: Uh, I want you 75 00:03:58,445 --> 00:03:59,963 - to tell me some. - Okay. 76 00:04:00,101 --> 00:04:01,758 INTERVIEWER: Which is the whole purpose of this. 77 00:04:01,896 --> 00:04:05,590 JUDEE: Um, okay. Would you like some of the wilder ones? 78 00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:07,557 [upbeat piano] 79 00:04:15,496 --> 00:04:17,187 When I was real little, I always wanted someone 80 00:04:17,326 --> 00:04:19,673 to harmonize with, and I could never find 81 00:04:19,811 --> 00:04:21,364 anyone that could stay on the melody. 82 00:04:21,502 --> 00:04:24,816 And it used to be real frustrating to me, 83 00:04:24,954 --> 00:04:26,818 trying with different members of my family. 84 00:04:26,956 --> 00:04:29,269 So my father owned this bar and had a piano in it, 85 00:04:29,407 --> 00:04:30,822 and one day I went down there, 86 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,686 when I was about three, I think, 87 00:04:32,824 --> 00:04:34,135 and I discovered that I could harmonize 88 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,792 with myself on the piano. 89 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,173 And that's how I got started in music. 90 00:04:39,382 --> 00:04:41,211 DONNA DISPARTI: Judee's father, Milford, 91 00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:44,594 died when Judee was real young. 92 00:04:46,182 --> 00:04:48,529 She loved him very much. 93 00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,531 He was really involved in their lives 94 00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:53,223 and a good heart, 95 00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:54,777 you know, a good father. 96 00:04:57,642 --> 00:05:00,127 JUDEE: My real father died in 1952 in Oakland. 97 00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:02,647 The rest was all in LA. 98 00:05:02,785 --> 00:05:04,856 My mother remarried, so the second guy, 99 00:05:04,994 --> 00:05:07,686 he was a crazy cartoon animator. 100 00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:10,482 And he was pretty rich, so I had all the instruments 101 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:12,104 I wanted, everything. But they were real crazy. 102 00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:13,174 They drank all the time. They were real crazy, 103 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,659 so I was very unhappy. 104 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,489 My mother liked to fight all the time. 105 00:05:17,627 --> 00:05:18,663 She was a Capricorn. I hated her. 106 00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,250 We never got along. 107 00:05:20,389 --> 00:05:22,045 But she was mean on top of being dumb. 108 00:05:22,183 --> 00:05:23,184 That was too much to take. 109 00:05:25,532 --> 00:05:28,535 DONNA: My Aunt Judee did not get along at all 110 00:05:28,673 --> 00:05:30,675 with Ken Muse. She hated him. 111 00:05:31,745 --> 00:05:36,336 My mom told me to never be with him alone. 112 00:05:36,474 --> 00:05:40,409 He had showed himself to her. 113 00:05:40,547 --> 00:05:43,515 And my Aunt Judee told me that he was not nice to her... 114 00:05:45,275 --> 00:05:46,760 in certain ways. 115 00:05:49,107 --> 00:05:50,522 You lose your daddy, 116 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:53,491 who you were really close to. 117 00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:56,597 And my father had already got married to my mom. 118 00:05:56,735 --> 00:05:59,635 They had me, so he was having his own life. 119 00:05:59,773 --> 00:06:02,672 And here she was, alone. 120 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,987 JUDEE: A lot was tormenting me. 121 00:06:07,125 --> 00:06:09,817 I didn't even know a lot about what was tormenting me. 122 00:06:09,955 --> 00:06:13,234 But I knew that I couldn't ever have a moment of relief. 123 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,133 I never had a moment of relief. 124 00:06:17,273 --> 00:06:18,654 WALTER FISK: I think she wanted to move somewhere, 125 00:06:18,792 --> 00:06:19,931 get out of her house. 126 00:06:21,726 --> 00:06:24,798 I worked at the Insomniac Coffee House. 127 00:06:24,936 --> 00:06:27,870 The Chambers Brothers came there to play. 128 00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:30,390 So, after hours, I went to their house, 129 00:06:30,528 --> 00:06:32,150 and she was there. 130 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,772 She played the guitar and the flute. 131 00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:38,121 And we just hit it off good. 132 00:06:38,259 --> 00:06:40,123 And I took her home and kept her. 133 00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:43,575 I lived in a wrecking yard, 134 00:06:43,713 --> 00:06:46,992 and we'd get high and smoke a lot of pot. 135 00:06:49,339 --> 00:06:50,582 She used to play the flute, and I can remember 136 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,619 sitting on the bed there, and that flute would 137 00:06:52,757 --> 00:06:54,966 go through your-- your body. 138 00:06:55,104 --> 00:06:57,037 I was in love. 139 00:06:57,175 --> 00:06:58,487 I guess she was in love, too. 140 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,040 But... 141 00:07:00,178 --> 00:07:01,800 shit happens, you know. 142 00:07:03,284 --> 00:07:05,839 She was doing robberies with these guys. 143 00:07:05,977 --> 00:07:08,704 RUSS: She told me that she had pointed a gun 144 00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:10,982 at the guy and said, "Okay, mothersticker, 145 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,777 this is a fuck-up." 146 00:07:12,915 --> 00:07:15,331 - And she swore that was true. - [police siren blaring] 147 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:17,367 ACTRESS AS "JUDEE": Sometimes it was quite exciting. 148 00:07:17,609 --> 00:07:18,955 We'd go to a motel afterwards 149 00:07:19,093 --> 00:07:20,957 and spill the loot out over the bed. 150 00:07:21,095 --> 00:07:23,512 This guy fixed downers all the time. 151 00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:25,686 I was a little intrigued by the needle, 152 00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:28,068 but I didn't know what it was going to lead to later. 153 00:07:30,415 --> 00:07:32,313 I didn't care one way or the other. 154 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,212 That's why I was doing those robberies, I guess, 155 00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,696 because my heart was reaching out, 156 00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,215 trying to get me to care about something. 157 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,462 JUDEE: I got caught and went to reform school for a year, 158 00:07:42,669 --> 00:07:43,946 and I became church organist, 159 00:07:44,084 --> 00:07:46,707 and I learned all of my gospel licks there. 160 00:07:46,845 --> 00:07:49,054 BILL PLUMMER: She told me that first day she was there 161 00:07:49,192 --> 00:07:52,472 was a Sunday, and they were having a service that morning. 162 00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:55,164 She jumped up on the piano 163 00:07:55,302 --> 00:07:57,856 and took over the whole service, 164 00:07:57,994 --> 00:08:01,653 playing songs and... and preaching. 165 00:08:02,551 --> 00:08:05,070 "JUDEE": I got some good out of being in there. 166 00:08:05,208 --> 00:08:07,210 I learned a lot of good music while I was in the joint. 167 00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:13,251 My mother died, mostly from drinking too much whiskey. 168 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,942 "JUDEE": I didn't know where to live 169 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:17,255 'cause I had no good reason to stay with my stepfather. 170 00:08:17,393 --> 00:08:19,119 In fact, I would try to go home sometimes, 171 00:08:19,257 --> 00:08:20,465 and he would lock all the doors, 172 00:08:20,603 --> 00:08:21,708 and when I came through the window, 173 00:08:21,846 --> 00:08:22,847 he would ambush me. 174 00:08:24,573 --> 00:08:27,645 I felt kind of cast out in a sea alone. 175 00:08:29,129 --> 00:08:30,958 [soft guitar plucking] 176 00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:33,547 JUDEE: ♪ So I hope someday the world will see ♪ 177 00:08:33,685 --> 00:08:35,756 ♪ How blind they've been ♪ 178 00:08:35,894 --> 00:08:40,174 ♪ But if that day ever comes ♪ 179 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:44,351 ♪ I doubt if there'll be anyone alive left to say ♪ 180 00:08:44,489 --> 00:08:46,526 ♪ Good God ♪ 181 00:08:46,664 --> 00:08:53,084 ♪ What have we done... ♪ 182 00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:59,746 ♪ Good God ♪ 183 00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:06,028 ♪ What have we done? ♪ 184 00:09:13,207 --> 00:09:13,967 [button clicks] 185 00:09:15,624 --> 00:09:17,522 [slow jazz] 186 00:09:23,424 --> 00:09:24,978 I'm out of reform school now, 187 00:09:25,116 --> 00:09:26,600 and I'm working at a piano bar. 188 00:09:26,738 --> 00:09:29,327 - INTERVIEWER: You're how old? - JUDEE: I'm 19. 189 00:09:29,465 --> 00:09:31,329 And I meet this guy who sells LSD. 190 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:32,606 And I start taking acid. I move in with him. 191 00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:34,435 He's a bass player. 192 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,990 DENIS DEL GIUDICE: It was in 1963 that I met her, 193 00:09:37,128 --> 00:09:38,785 and I think she came into a club 194 00:09:38,923 --> 00:09:40,441 where I was working one night. 195 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:43,272 She came over and didn't go home. 196 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:45,688 You know, she was one of those. 197 00:09:45,826 --> 00:09:49,727 I had a couple of those. But no, she was a prize. 198 00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:52,315 You never knew what she was going to say. 199 00:09:52,453 --> 00:09:55,180 Mostly pretty happy, except, you know, 200 00:09:55,318 --> 00:09:56,457 there must be a lot of shit raging 201 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,976 underneath there, too, though. 202 00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:01,048 JUDEE: I was a bass player for five years. 203 00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:03,154 Stand-up bass. I used to be a bebopper. 204 00:10:05,294 --> 00:10:06,571 I always liked a good bass line, 205 00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:08,331 you know, a good foundation. 206 00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:10,471 I met this guy who I had known at Valley College, 207 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,612 a fabulous piano player. 208 00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:14,855 So I married him because I wanted to learn his licks. 209 00:10:14,993 --> 00:10:16,236 I wanted to learn his inversions. 210 00:10:16,374 --> 00:10:17,478 I wanted to learn his voicings. 211 00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:20,481 Some things boggled my mind 212 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,035 about the way he played, 213 00:10:22,173 --> 00:10:25,003 so I married him... to absorb them. 214 00:10:25,141 --> 00:10:27,557 So we became junkies together. 215 00:10:27,696 --> 00:10:28,835 I don't know. It just seemed like 216 00:10:28,973 --> 00:10:30,353 the right thing to do, you know? 217 00:10:30,491 --> 00:10:32,286 I would feel all right. I would get relief. 218 00:10:34,150 --> 00:10:35,704 It hurt so much to play the bass, you know? 219 00:10:35,842 --> 00:10:37,395 I've got real thin fingers. 220 00:10:37,533 --> 00:10:39,052 Stand-up bass was very hard. 221 00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:40,260 I used to shoot heroin, be able to play 222 00:10:40,398 --> 00:10:41,779 into long hours into the night. 223 00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:42,814 With the lights off, sometimes I'd feel 224 00:10:42,952 --> 00:10:44,505 some sweat running off me. 225 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,783 And I'd turn on the light, and there'd be blood 226 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:47,198 splattered on the wall, you know? 227 00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:49,062 Hopeless heroin addict, $150 a day. 228 00:10:50,615 --> 00:10:52,513 I was a killer junkie. 229 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,825 Killer junkie. 230 00:10:57,139 --> 00:10:59,900 "JUDEE": I was shooting up 15 to 20 bags a day. 231 00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:03,007 Me and my husband traded a car down in Tijuana 232 00:11:03,145 --> 00:11:06,389 for an ounce of heroin. It had some impurity in it 233 00:11:06,527 --> 00:11:07,632 that gave me a rash and made my legs 234 00:11:07,770 --> 00:11:09,496 swell up like balloons. 235 00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:11,601 And I smuggled it across the border in my cunt, 236 00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:13,086 and it was raining, and I was crying, 237 00:11:13,224 --> 00:11:14,708 and I could barely walk, because I was crippled 238 00:11:14,846 --> 00:11:15,985 by the impurity. 239 00:11:17,918 --> 00:11:19,540 I realized that I could come up with more money 240 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,819 by myself. So I went out on my own 241 00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:23,061 and started hooking. 242 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,894 One night, I was fixing up at a friend's house, 243 00:11:28,032 --> 00:11:29,654 and I OD-ed. 244 00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:31,207 The next thing I knew, 245 00:11:31,345 --> 00:11:32,761 the people there had fixed milk in my veins, 246 00:11:32,899 --> 00:11:35,004 and they were slapping me around till I came to. 247 00:11:37,593 --> 00:11:40,113 Right after that, I got busted for forgery 248 00:11:40,251 --> 00:11:42,080 and a lot of narcotics- related offenses, 249 00:11:42,218 --> 00:11:44,186 and I was just beyond desperation in jail. 250 00:11:48,121 --> 00:11:50,054 JUDEE: I had a brother who was a cartoon animator also 251 00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:51,745 and a herpetologist. 252 00:11:51,883 --> 00:11:53,195 He was real nice. He was a Libra, and he died 253 00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:55,197 of a liver infection and pneumonia. 254 00:11:55,335 --> 00:11:57,061 And he died the same day I OD-ed on heroin. 255 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,858 DONNA: She felt like my father was a saint. 256 00:12:00,996 --> 00:12:03,584 She just loved him so much, 257 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:07,140 and when he passed away, it was really hard on her. 258 00:12:09,038 --> 00:12:11,869 She couldn't be there, you know, she was in jail. 259 00:12:12,939 --> 00:12:15,665 And I think that that carried with her. 260 00:12:16,701 --> 00:12:18,945 CHRISTINA OOREBEEK: That was the turning point for her. 261 00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:22,500 There was some kind of internal process 262 00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:24,295 which led her to finding the source 263 00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:26,953 to make those songs, I think. 264 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:31,958 JUDEE: ♪ And the fires were roarin' ♪ 265 00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:36,652 ♪ Stars aligned and the webs were spun ♪ 266 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,861 I knew that I had to clean up 267 00:12:38,999 --> 00:12:40,449 or else go back to jail, you know, I had to figure out 268 00:12:40,587 --> 00:12:41,588 some way, so I started thinking, this is gonna be 269 00:12:41,726 --> 00:12:42,762 my ultimate thing. 270 00:12:42,969 --> 00:12:44,108 So I got a tattoo on my arm 271 00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:45,592 to remind me forever, so it would be 272 00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:47,525 indelibly imprinted on my body. 273 00:12:47,663 --> 00:12:49,354 And then I started formulating 274 00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:50,804 exactly what my mission would be. 275 00:12:50,942 --> 00:12:53,531 ♪ Chasin' the sun ♪ 276 00:12:53,669 --> 00:12:56,534 ♪ Hopin' we will soon be one ♪ 277 00:12:56,672 --> 00:12:59,364 ♪ Until it turns around to me ♪ 278 00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:01,815 ♪ Then I try to run ♪ 279 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,030 JUDEE: Here we go then, number three, right? 280 00:13:10,168 --> 00:13:13,344 Okay. One, two, three, four. 281 00:13:13,482 --> 00:13:15,380 ♪ 282 00:13:26,288 --> 00:13:29,705 Here I was, just writing songs and real poor, 283 00:13:29,843 --> 00:13:31,983 I had no one interested in my songs yet or anything. 284 00:13:33,053 --> 00:13:34,883 I was living in a '55 Cadillac 285 00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:37,126 with five people sleeping in shifts 286 00:13:37,264 --> 00:13:40,509 in the flatlands of Hollywood. 287 00:13:40,647 --> 00:13:43,305 And so I just listened to the radio all the time 288 00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:46,342 with the earplug in my ear day and night. 289 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,896 I'd go hitchhiking around, people would pick me up 290 00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:49,380 and say "What do you do?" I'd say, "I'm waiting 291 00:13:49,518 --> 00:13:51,071 to be a star. I'm going to be a big star." 292 00:13:52,176 --> 00:13:53,833 No one knew but me, you know? [laughing] 293 00:13:59,183 --> 00:14:00,667 JIM PONS: At our very first meeting, 294 00:14:00,805 --> 00:14:04,050 it was openly divulged that she was a heroin addict 295 00:14:04,188 --> 00:14:07,432 and had been arrested for armed robbery. 296 00:14:08,468 --> 00:14:10,125 I didn't know who she was, and I didn't know 297 00:14:10,263 --> 00:14:12,852 she was a songwriter. She wasn't a songwriter. 298 00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:16,027 But she knew that we had a band 299 00:14:16,165 --> 00:14:19,134 called The Leaves, and she wanted to become famous. 300 00:14:19,272 --> 00:14:20,929 And she was going to write some songs, 301 00:14:21,067 --> 00:14:22,620 and they were going to be good. 302 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,035 "The Dead Time Bummer Blues" was, 303 00:14:24,173 --> 00:14:25,795 I think, the first. 304 00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:29,075 She was getting good, fast. 305 00:14:30,248 --> 00:14:34,908 JUDEE: ♪ Where is justice and liberty?♪ 306 00:14:35,046 --> 00:14:39,292 ♪ The judge was blind and could not see ♪ 307 00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:43,468 ♪ Where is justice and liberty?♪ 308 00:14:43,606 --> 00:14:47,196 ♪ Somebody help, please, set me free ♪ 309 00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:49,405 ♪ It's such a drag just knowing ♪ 310 00:14:49,543 --> 00:14:51,649 ♪ That the outside is so near ♪ 311 00:14:51,787 --> 00:14:53,823 ♪ Can't help but ask this question ♪ 312 00:14:53,962 --> 00:14:55,687 ♪ What the fuck am I doing here?♪ 313 00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:59,070 ♪ Ooh ♪ 314 00:14:59,208 --> 00:15:01,141 ♪ Dead time ♪ 315 00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:05,663 ♪ Doing the dead time bummer blues ♪ 316 00:15:07,561 --> 00:15:08,942 JUDEE: Well, I thought I'd do this song "Lady-O," 317 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,427 which is the first song I ever had on the radio. 318 00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:13,464 I knew this one guy that was in The Turtles, 319 00:15:13,602 --> 00:15:16,812 and one day he called me on the phone and said, 320 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,572 "Hey, how would you like us to do one of your songs? 321 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,781 "We'll give you $65 a week, and you'll be a writer 322 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,438 for our company?" And I said, "Great!" 323 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,892 I was livin' at this girl's house. 324 00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:30,688 And that's who I wrote "Lady-O" for, this girl. 325 00:15:30,826 --> 00:15:33,725 She used to come and flaunt her tits at me. 326 00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:35,313 In the morning, wake me up, 327 00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:37,729 hanging her tits over my bed. 328 00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:40,629 So naturally, we got into some hanky-panky. 329 00:15:42,493 --> 00:15:45,220 It was very miserable for me because I didn't get 330 00:15:45,358 --> 00:15:46,876 enough attention, you know, so it made me 331 00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:48,809 so unhappy that I would go in my room, 332 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,432 shut the door, and write songs. 333 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:51,743 In fact, some of my greatest songs 334 00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:53,021 would come out of the worst times, 335 00:15:53,159 --> 00:15:54,505 but that's food for me, see? 336 00:15:54,643 --> 00:15:55,644 That's high octane. 337 00:15:57,059 --> 00:15:58,647 PONS: I remember her in the studio 338 00:15:58,785 --> 00:16:00,373 with the Turtles, playing "Lady-O." 339 00:16:00,511 --> 00:16:02,478 And she played guitar, and I think 340 00:16:02,616 --> 00:16:03,963 she overdubbed the bass, 341 00:16:04,101 --> 00:16:06,344 which she had some nuances 342 00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:09,175 that I wasn't able to achieve myself. 343 00:16:09,313 --> 00:16:11,211 And she also wrote 344 00:16:11,349 --> 00:16:14,490 and conducted the string section. 345 00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:16,251 JUDEE: They took out an ad in all the trade papers 346 00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:19,150 that said "Lady-O, Lady-O, out of the radio, 347 00:16:19,288 --> 00:16:21,290 into your hearts." 348 00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:24,224 [chuckling] And it sold anyway. 349 00:16:25,950 --> 00:16:27,848 [guitar plucking] 350 00:16:30,817 --> 00:16:33,578 ♪ While you sit and seek ♪ 351 00:16:33,716 --> 00:16:38,342 ♪ A crescent moon is laying at your feet ♪ 352 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,310 ♪ With hope that's made of sand ♪ 353 00:16:41,448 --> 00:16:43,554 ♪ You don't think you can ♪ 354 00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:47,834 ♪ But you have held it all in your hand ♪ 355 00:16:47,972 --> 00:16:50,837 ♪ Lady-O ♪ 356 00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:58,845 ♪ I've been trying hard to keep from needing you ♪ 357 00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:01,537 ♪ But from the start ♪ 358 00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:04,540 ♪ My heart just rolled and flowed ♪ 359 00:17:04,678 --> 00:17:07,923 ♪ I've seen where it goes and still somehow ♪ 360 00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:11,237 ♪ My love for you grows ♪ 361 00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:14,343 ♪ Lady-O ♪ 362 00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:21,868 ♪ So on my heels, I'll grow wings ♪ 363 00:17:22,006 --> 00:17:27,563 ♪ Gonna ride silver strings ♪ 364 00:17:27,701 --> 00:17:32,016 ♪ But I'll see you in my holiest dreams ♪ 365 00:17:32,154 --> 00:17:35,502 ♪ Lady-O ♪ 366 00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:50,310 I think it was probably around January of '68, 367 00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:52,795 and I went out to find a place to play. 368 00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:56,868 And I walk in, and I see this lanky girl in the back, 369 00:17:57,006 --> 00:18:01,839 you know, playing jazz bass and really killing it, too. 370 00:18:01,977 --> 00:18:03,668 And the place was jumping, 371 00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:05,291 and I-- "Wow, this is great." 372 00:18:05,429 --> 00:18:06,637 And so I asked if I could sit in. 373 00:18:08,984 --> 00:18:11,090 She was with me, like, on every note. 374 00:18:11,228 --> 00:18:12,850 She was just underlying 375 00:18:12,988 --> 00:18:14,610 and making me sound better than I was, you know. 376 00:18:16,474 --> 00:18:17,855 She calls me the next night 377 00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:19,960 and says, "Oh, we got to get together." 378 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,963 She said, "I know a place up by the Observatory." 379 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,482 She says, "Just follow me." And she ran down 380 00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:26,346 some little paths. 381 00:18:26,484 --> 00:18:27,554 And she said, "Here's a good spot." 382 00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:30,039 And I said, "Well, okay." [laughing] 383 00:18:30,178 --> 00:18:33,595 So we take our clothes off, it's freezing, right? 384 00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:36,184 And we make love. 385 00:18:36,322 --> 00:18:39,359 And... that was part of the adventure with Judee. 386 00:18:39,497 --> 00:18:41,534 You never knew, but you went along with it 387 00:18:41,672 --> 00:18:43,777 because, hey, what are you going to do, you know? 388 00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:49,093 "JUDEE": I knew in my bones something important was 389 00:18:49,231 --> 00:18:51,406 in the works, that I was just getting going. 390 00:18:53,201 --> 00:18:55,858 One day I painted this huge bird. 391 00:18:55,996 --> 00:18:59,034 It was real ornate, had lots of frills and things. 392 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,863 I rubbed the beak and wished I could be 393 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:03,832 the greatest living songwriter in the world. 394 00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:06,628 Right around then, someone gave me some peyote. 395 00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:09,217 It took me off into unknown areas, 396 00:19:09,355 --> 00:19:11,080 and the songs that came out of me were, 397 00:19:11,219 --> 00:19:14,014 without me realizing it, much better. 398 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,845 JUDEE: I met this guy that had a magic library, 399 00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:18,847 and I heard about Pythagorean music, you know, 400 00:19:18,985 --> 00:19:21,056 how to affect people's deepest emotional centers 401 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,231 with what sounds and what notes, 402 00:19:23,369 --> 00:19:25,198 you know, and he used to do big things 403 00:19:25,336 --> 00:19:26,855 like curing whole flocks of people 404 00:19:26,993 --> 00:19:28,788 in insane asylums. One shot, you know, 405 00:19:28,926 --> 00:19:30,686 two chords on his lute, and that would be it. 406 00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:34,863 PONS: She believed it was being downloaded 407 00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:37,866 from a higher source, and it had to be accurate. 408 00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:40,834 That's the way the song was ordained to be, 409 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,767 and it had to be that way. 410 00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:47,703 She was here on a mission to awaken the masses. 411 00:19:48,946 --> 00:19:52,052 JUDEE: What happens is it... it comes to me from God, 412 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,916 and then I look back and say, 413 00:19:54,054 --> 00:19:55,366 "Hey, that's mathematically perfect!" You know? 414 00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:56,885 - It's an afterthought. - MAN: Mm-hm. 415 00:19:57,023 --> 00:19:58,369 But it always comes out right, you know? 416 00:19:58,507 --> 00:20:00,095 But I don't really know what I'm doing. 417 00:20:01,924 --> 00:20:03,132 TOMMY: We're sitting on the couch, 418 00:20:03,271 --> 00:20:05,618 she's looking into my eyes and says, 419 00:20:05,756 --> 00:20:08,379 "Hey, you wanna hear one of my new songs?" 420 00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:10,761 And she starts singing, and this velvet voice 421 00:20:10,899 --> 00:20:12,797 comes out. Unbelievable. 422 00:20:12,935 --> 00:20:14,730 I just fell in love with her. 423 00:20:14,868 --> 00:20:17,906 Right then. I mean, it was like magic. 424 00:20:18,044 --> 00:20:23,498 ♪ I miss the sweet love of the air ♪ 425 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:30,919 ♪ A silver chariot soars ♪ 426 00:20:32,748 --> 00:20:35,579 ♪ Through mercury ripples ♪ 427 00:20:35,717 --> 00:20:39,410 ♪ Of sky ♪ 428 00:20:39,548 --> 00:20:43,414 ♪ I'm looking so hard ♪ 429 00:20:43,552 --> 00:20:46,969 ♪ For a place to land ♪ 430 00:20:47,107 --> 00:20:52,941 ♪ I almost forgot how to fly ♪ 431 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:59,810 ♪ So, keep on moving ♪ 432 00:20:59,948 --> 00:21:03,986 ♪ Or stay by my side ♪ 433 00:21:04,124 --> 00:21:07,680 ♪ Either way ♪ 434 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,788 ♪ I'll tell you a secret ♪ 435 00:21:12,995 --> 00:21:16,620 ♪ I've never revealed ♪ 436 00:21:16,758 --> 00:21:20,555 ♪ However we are ♪ 437 00:21:20,693 --> 00:21:23,282 ♪ Is okay, doo doo-doo-doo ♪ 438 00:21:23,420 --> 00:21:26,388 ♪ Doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo ♪ 439 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,772 JUDEE: I wrote "Lopin' Along Through the Cosmos," 440 00:21:30,910 --> 00:21:32,118 and I just wanted to stay up there. 441 00:21:32,256 --> 00:21:33,568 I'd rather be detached, you know, but... 442 00:21:33,706 --> 00:21:35,259 I know I'm down here to stay till I'm done. 443 00:21:35,397 --> 00:21:38,158 I know I have to work all this stuff out, you know. 444 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,195 That's what I'm doing, I'm working it out. 445 00:21:42,749 --> 00:21:43,992 LINDA: Her harmonies is what I like the best, 446 00:21:44,130 --> 00:21:45,890 her internal harmonies. 447 00:21:46,028 --> 00:21:48,479 She did a lot of that going-down-into-the-canyon- 448 00:21:48,617 --> 00:21:50,136 on-horseback shuffle. 449 00:21:50,274 --> 00:21:51,931 It's like a cowboy feel. 450 00:21:52,069 --> 00:21:54,002 ♪ "Bless the ridge rider" ♪ 451 00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:55,486 [imitating hooves clopping] 452 00:21:55,624 --> 00:21:57,695 You know? That was a recurring theme. 453 00:21:57,833 --> 00:22:00,836 She was good, you know, she was really good. 454 00:22:00,974 --> 00:22:02,976 JUDEE: Actually, I had a divine inspiration 455 00:22:03,114 --> 00:22:06,842 on how noble it is to not fake it, you know? 456 00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:09,845 A friend of mine came along and manifested this for me, 457 00:22:09,983 --> 00:22:13,055 because he's a real mild-mannered, shy person, 458 00:22:13,193 --> 00:22:15,541 and he's never learned how to fake it socially, 459 00:22:15,679 --> 00:22:17,336 or be slick, you know. And I thought it was 460 00:22:17,474 --> 00:22:19,199 noble of him to not learn how, you know. 461 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:22,064 And that's how I wrote this song. 462 00:22:22,202 --> 00:22:23,376 She says, "Hey, I wrote a song about you," 463 00:22:23,514 --> 00:22:26,068 and she hands me this sheet here, 464 00:22:26,206 --> 00:22:27,346 and it was the "Ridge Rider." 465 00:22:27,484 --> 00:22:28,726 She wrote it about me. 466 00:22:28,864 --> 00:22:30,349 She told me she wrote 467 00:22:30,487 --> 00:22:32,523 the "Ridge Rider" about me. 468 00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:33,904 So three of us think that song's about us, 469 00:22:34,042 --> 00:22:35,492 that's good! [laughing] 470 00:22:35,630 --> 00:22:37,632 Oh, geez! Well, it's just 471 00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:41,083 the human condition that she was exposing in all of us. 472 00:22:41,290 --> 00:22:43,776 Cause she knew what complications 473 00:22:43,914 --> 00:22:47,573 we were all going through as human beings. 474 00:22:47,814 --> 00:22:50,334 She was very complicated herself. 475 00:22:52,094 --> 00:22:54,234 ♪ He rides the ridge ♪ 476 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:58,169 ♪ Between dark and light ♪ 477 00:22:58,307 --> 00:23:03,761 ♪ Without partners or friends ♪ 478 00:23:03,899 --> 00:23:09,215 ♪ He's courageous enough to be scared ♪ 479 00:23:10,734 --> 00:23:16,981 ♪ But he's too humble to win ♪ 480 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:21,607 ♪ Bless the ridge rider ♪ 481 00:23:21,745 --> 00:23:24,989 ♪ The ridge he's riding is mighty thin ♪ 482 00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:34,447 ♪ I guess the ridge rider ♪ 483 00:23:34,585 --> 00:23:38,140 ♪ Forgets he's traveling with a friend ♪ 484 00:23:42,075 --> 00:23:44,043 After I wrote the "Ridge Rider," you know, 485 00:23:44,181 --> 00:23:47,805 I started changing my idea about fear and shame. 486 00:23:47,943 --> 00:23:49,980 And I started not trying to get rid of them anymore. 487 00:23:50,118 --> 00:23:53,949 But to be really courageous is to be scared 488 00:23:54,087 --> 00:23:56,296 and to be ashamed in front of everyone. 489 00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:59,127 Ah, takes so much courage to do that! 490 00:23:59,265 --> 00:24:01,163 More courage than to rob a liquor store, more courage 491 00:24:01,301 --> 00:24:03,200 than to sing in front of thousands of people. 492 00:24:03,338 --> 00:24:05,478 More courage than kicking a heroin habit. 493 00:24:05,616 --> 00:24:06,997 More courage than any of that. 494 00:24:11,864 --> 00:24:13,762 ♪ 495 00:24:16,834 --> 00:24:19,216 RUSS: She was going to do a Troubadour Hoot. 496 00:24:19,354 --> 00:24:21,874 And so I called David Geffen, and I said, 497 00:24:22,012 --> 00:24:24,290 "David, you should really hear this girl." 498 00:24:24,428 --> 00:24:26,085 His butt was kicked, guy. 499 00:24:26,223 --> 00:24:28,190 JD SOUTHER: Geffen said, "You gotta go see this girl, 500 00:24:28,328 --> 00:24:30,365 Judee Sill." And I said, "What's she like?" 501 00:24:30,503 --> 00:24:32,367 And he said, "She's like nobody else. 502 00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:34,403 Just go see her." 503 00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:37,372 She was playing some little club on Melrose. 504 00:24:37,510 --> 00:24:41,687 Someone in the audience said, "Can you play 'Clouds'?" 505 00:24:41,825 --> 00:24:45,104 She said, "I don't fucking do other people's songs, okay? 506 00:24:45,242 --> 00:24:47,520 "You want to hear her songs, go hear her play, all right? 507 00:24:47,658 --> 00:24:49,695 I'm doing my own songs, so shut up!" 508 00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:52,663 BILL STRAW: She performed just voice and guitar a lot. 509 00:24:52,801 --> 00:24:54,838 Arty Fatbuckles on Melrose 510 00:24:54,976 --> 00:24:57,012 was one of her standard stops. 511 00:24:57,150 --> 00:24:58,773 CAMILLE: All the people that came in there at that time, 512 00:24:58,911 --> 00:25:00,533 there was a lot of really good talent, 513 00:25:00,671 --> 00:25:02,708 but Judee was right at the top of it. 514 00:25:02,846 --> 00:25:04,537 MICHELE KORT: I saw her at the Troubadour 515 00:25:04,675 --> 00:25:07,195 where all the great singer-songwriters 516 00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,886 of the day performed. 517 00:25:09,024 --> 00:25:10,854 Laura Nyro, Linda Ronstadt, 518 00:25:10,992 --> 00:25:13,546 Joni Mitchell, everyone. 519 00:25:13,684 --> 00:25:15,548 JUDEE: Sitting around in my house and I was thinkin', 520 00:25:15,686 --> 00:25:16,756 "Boy, it shouldn't be long now, 'cause I've already 521 00:25:16,894 --> 00:25:18,689 been writing pretty good songs now." 522 00:25:18,827 --> 00:25:20,035 Phone rang at that the very instant. 523 00:25:20,173 --> 00:25:22,003 It was David Geffen. 524 00:25:22,141 --> 00:25:23,176 He said he'd heard all about me, 525 00:25:23,314 --> 00:25:25,903 please come down and sing for him. 526 00:25:26,041 --> 00:25:27,456 So I came down, I was so nervous, oh God, 527 00:25:27,595 --> 00:25:28,734 my heart was in my throat like a dead rat, 528 00:25:28,872 --> 00:25:30,459 stuck, palpitating. 529 00:25:30,598 --> 00:25:31,978 GEFFEN: She was very engaging. 530 00:25:32,116 --> 00:25:36,742 Easy to like. Had an unusual story. 531 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,398 DAVID UNROT: And so she played a few bars 532 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,297 of one of the songs. 533 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,402 Might have been "Lady-O." I'm not sure. 534 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:44,301 And before she finished, 535 00:25:44,439 --> 00:25:46,924 he said, "That's enough, you're hired." 536 00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:50,618 JUDEE: He said "What do you want to do?" 537 00:25:50,756 --> 00:25:52,481 And I said, "I want to be a big star." 538 00:25:52,620 --> 00:25:53,931 And he said, "How big a star do you want to be? 539 00:25:54,069 --> 00:25:56,244 And I said "How big can I be? 540 00:25:56,382 --> 00:25:58,039 How big is it possible to be?" 541 00:25:58,177 --> 00:25:59,523 I told him I wanted to be a bigger star 542 00:25:59,661 --> 00:26:02,457 than has ever been before. [laughing] 543 00:26:02,595 --> 00:26:03,976 JACKSON BROWNE: She was the first artist signed 544 00:26:04,114 --> 00:26:05,460 to Asylum Records, 545 00:26:05,598 --> 00:26:08,636 and Geffen had tremendous belief in her. 546 00:26:08,774 --> 00:26:10,914 GEFFEN: She was thrilled to get a record deal. 547 00:26:11,052 --> 00:26:13,261 She was proud of being involved with Asylum Records 548 00:26:13,399 --> 00:26:14,952 and the other artists that were there. 549 00:26:15,090 --> 00:26:16,471 You know, we had Linda Ronstadt, 550 00:26:16,609 --> 00:26:17,990 Jackson Browne, The Eagles, 551 00:26:18,128 --> 00:26:20,440 The Byrds, John David Souther. 552 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:23,271 You know, they were all good. 553 00:26:23,409 --> 00:26:25,238 LINDA: We liked each other's songs, you know, like, 554 00:26:25,376 --> 00:26:26,723 I loved Jackson's songs that he wrote, 555 00:26:26,861 --> 00:26:28,138 and I loved JD's songs. 556 00:26:28,276 --> 00:26:29,380 But everybody seemed to think that 557 00:26:29,518 --> 00:26:30,589 Judee had something special. 558 00:26:32,107 --> 00:26:33,937 JUDEE: ♪ The next thing I knew ♪ 559 00:26:34,075 --> 00:26:36,871 ♪ I came to and one song, it was carrying me ♪ 560 00:26:37,009 --> 00:26:41,289 ♪ Soldier of the heart, how'd ya get so fine? ♪ 561 00:26:41,427 --> 00:26:43,567 ♪ Soldier of the heart ♪ 562 00:26:43,705 --> 00:26:46,156 ♪ I wish you were mine ♪ 563 00:26:46,294 --> 00:26:50,678 ♪ Soldier of the heart, how'd ya get so true? ♪ 564 00:26:50,816 --> 00:26:52,956 ♪ Soldier of the heart ♪ 565 00:26:53,094 --> 00:26:55,614 ♪ I'm marching with you ♪ 566 00:26:55,752 --> 00:26:59,445 ♪ The battlefield's so cold ♪ 567 00:26:59,583 --> 00:27:01,309 ♪ Take my heart as a token ♪ 568 00:27:01,447 --> 00:27:05,900 ♪ I'd love to give it you ♪ 569 00:27:06,038 --> 00:27:08,592 ♪ Flames arise ♪ 570 00:27:08,730 --> 00:27:10,698 ♪ From the sword in his hand ♪ 571 00:27:10,836 --> 00:27:15,564 ♪ We'll march in over no-man's land ♪ 572 00:27:15,703 --> 00:27:19,810 ♪ And burn the enemy's stolen throne ♪ 573 00:27:19,948 --> 00:27:22,019 ♪ I'll carry your gun 'til it's done ♪ 574 00:27:22,157 --> 00:27:24,504 ♪ And we can go rollin' back home ♪ 575 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:26,541 ♪ 576 00:27:35,136 --> 00:27:36,793 So I thought I'd do this oldest one first. 577 00:27:36,931 --> 00:27:38,657 This is about three years old, and it's called 578 00:27:38,795 --> 00:27:40,520 "Enchanted Sky Machines." 579 00:27:40,659 --> 00:27:42,730 It has all of my gospel licks that I learned 580 00:27:42,868 --> 00:27:45,284 when I was the church organist in reform school. 581 00:27:45,422 --> 00:27:46,561 [playing piano] 582 00:27:46,699 --> 00:27:48,425 That's the truth, I swear. 583 00:27:51,531 --> 00:27:53,879 ♪ 584 00:27:58,711 --> 00:28:00,609 CAMILLE: She came in, she was fully formed. 585 00:28:00,748 --> 00:28:04,924 Country, church music, Bach fugues, blues. 586 00:28:05,062 --> 00:28:07,099 I mean, I heard so many things in there 587 00:28:07,237 --> 00:28:10,412 that you wouldn't think would work but did. 588 00:28:10,654 --> 00:28:12,035 You can hear the country, 589 00:28:12,173 --> 00:28:13,588 you can hear the roots, and you can hear 590 00:28:13,726 --> 00:28:15,694 the kind of Pentecostal fire. 591 00:28:15,832 --> 00:28:17,247 JUDEE: Baroque, did you put baroque in? 592 00:28:17,385 --> 00:28:18,869 INTERVIEWER: I didn't, but yeah. 593 00:28:19,007 --> 00:28:20,388 JUDEE: Okay, occult, holy, 594 00:28:20,526 --> 00:28:24,254 western, baroque, gospel. 595 00:28:24,392 --> 00:28:26,049 INTERVIEWER: Is your music rock and roll? 596 00:28:26,187 --> 00:28:28,430 JUDEE: No. But I have some hot licks, 597 00:28:28,568 --> 00:28:30,018 and I have some boogie licks. 598 00:28:30,156 --> 00:28:33,125 And I have some, um, licks of the Pentecostal fury. 599 00:28:33,263 --> 00:28:35,472 NATALIE: She kind of occupies a more cosmic space 600 00:28:35,610 --> 00:28:39,165 and uses more jazz chords and interesting harmonies 601 00:28:39,303 --> 00:28:41,650 and compositions and borrows from classical music. 602 00:28:41,789 --> 00:28:43,894 Most of her musical training 603 00:28:44,032 --> 00:28:46,621 came from a keyboard, playing Bach melodies 604 00:28:46,759 --> 00:28:48,554 and playing church organ. 605 00:28:48,692 --> 00:28:51,488 She has a sense of melody and of structure 606 00:28:51,626 --> 00:28:54,318 that was really exceptional. 607 00:28:54,456 --> 00:28:56,182 LINDA: She played these really full, beautiful chords 608 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,426 with interesting voicings. And I was very interested 609 00:28:58,564 --> 00:28:59,772 in what her thumb was doing 610 00:28:59,910 --> 00:29:01,429 when she was playing the guitar 611 00:29:01,567 --> 00:29:02,741 and the fingers of her left hand 612 00:29:02,879 --> 00:29:04,915 when she was playing the piano. 613 00:29:05,053 --> 00:29:06,261 TIM PAGE: There's always a sense 614 00:29:06,399 --> 00:29:08,160 exactly where the bass is. 615 00:29:08,298 --> 00:29:10,610 And she builds on top of the bass 616 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,579 the same way that the baroque composers did. 617 00:29:15,063 --> 00:29:17,065 JUDEE: When I'm doing it good and everyone's listening, 618 00:29:17,203 --> 00:29:20,310 and it's real quiet, God, what a thrill it is. 619 00:29:20,448 --> 00:29:23,658 Oooh, magic webs are spun! Mm! 620 00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:25,694 [vocalizing] 621 00:29:32,978 --> 00:29:34,807 [continues vocalizing] 622 00:29:40,330 --> 00:29:42,850 - [cheering and applause] - Thank you very much. 623 00:29:50,409 --> 00:29:52,480 JUDEE: I was so shocked when I first saw it coming down. 624 00:29:52,618 --> 00:29:53,895 After all this wishing, you know, 625 00:29:54,033 --> 00:29:55,724 just indiscriminate wishing, 626 00:29:55,863 --> 00:29:58,072 when it started to come around, it scared me. 627 00:29:58,210 --> 00:29:59,970 I knew I had to get my act together. 628 00:30:00,108 --> 00:30:02,386 So I started going real fast then. 629 00:30:02,524 --> 00:30:05,804 ♪ The sun was red ♪ 630 00:30:05,942 --> 00:30:09,566 ♪ And the fires were roarin' ♪ 631 00:30:11,016 --> 00:30:12,362 ♪ Stars aligned ♪ 632 00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:15,089 ♪ And the webs were spun ♪ 633 00:30:15,227 --> 00:30:17,712 ♪ I coulda sworn I heard ♪ 634 00:30:17,850 --> 00:30:22,061 ♪ My spirit soarin' ♪ 635 00:30:22,199 --> 00:30:25,824 ♪ Guess I'm always chasin' the sun ♪ 636 00:30:25,962 --> 00:30:29,172 ♪ Hopin' we will soon be one ♪ 637 00:30:29,310 --> 00:30:31,968 ♪ Until it turns around to me ♪ 638 00:30:32,106 --> 00:30:34,453 ♪ Then I try to run ♪ 639 00:30:42,081 --> 00:30:44,256 JUDEE: You know, I made the album in eight days. 640 00:30:44,394 --> 00:30:45,913 I wrote the parts in two weeks, 641 00:30:46,051 --> 00:30:47,362 and then I went into the studio 642 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:48,916 and did the whole thing in eight days. 643 00:30:49,054 --> 00:30:50,124 I didn't know what I was going to do. 644 00:30:50,262 --> 00:30:51,539 These musicians came in, and I said, 645 00:30:51,677 --> 00:30:53,161 "Okay, here's how it goes." And I said, 646 00:30:53,299 --> 00:30:54,611 "I want to build it up, so for the first time 647 00:30:54,749 --> 00:30:56,268 "do it playing, the second time do it, 648 00:30:56,406 --> 00:30:58,132 ♪ Da da da da da ♪ 649 00:30:58,373 --> 00:31:00,859 [vocalizing] 650 00:31:00,997 --> 00:31:03,413 PLUMMER: She knew exactly what she wanted. 651 00:31:03,551 --> 00:31:05,794 If you didn't give it to her, she would very politely 652 00:31:05,933 --> 00:31:08,418 tell you, "That's not the way I wish it, 653 00:31:08,556 --> 00:31:10,627 and you will play it the way I want it." 654 00:31:10,765 --> 00:31:13,423 PONS: We were recognized as producers, 655 00:31:13,561 --> 00:31:15,735 but most of the work was done by Judee. 656 00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:18,048 There wasn't much really we needed to do. 657 00:31:18,186 --> 00:31:20,050 Just turn the machines on. 658 00:31:20,188 --> 00:31:21,224 JACKSON: She worked with Henry Lewy, 659 00:31:21,362 --> 00:31:22,777 that's an incredible find. 660 00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:24,365 A wonderfully talented 661 00:31:24,503 --> 00:31:26,091 engineer / producer who'd worked 662 00:31:26,229 --> 00:31:27,782 with Joni Mitchell, was perfect 663 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,232 for someone like Judee. 664 00:31:29,370 --> 00:31:31,993 He would say "Joni," and she'd say, 665 00:31:32,131 --> 00:31:34,478 "No, no, no, it's Judee." You know? 666 00:31:34,616 --> 00:31:36,895 He had confused her with Joni Mitchell. 667 00:31:37,033 --> 00:31:39,449 And she was like, "Ooh," you know. 668 00:31:39,587 --> 00:31:41,209 JUDEE: In the studio, you can imagine making 669 00:31:41,347 --> 00:31:42,590 your first album, and then they come on the big speaker. 670 00:31:42,728 --> 00:31:43,832 Anything sounds great, you know. 671 00:31:43,971 --> 00:31:45,317 "I'll take it, I'll take it. 672 00:31:45,455 --> 00:31:47,491 Glory, glory, in the vein, in the vein." 673 00:31:47,629 --> 00:31:48,665 So to speak. 674 00:31:48,803 --> 00:31:49,908 ♪ Through the rose ♪ 675 00:31:50,046 --> 00:31:53,083 ♪ In his hand ♪ 676 00:31:53,221 --> 00:31:55,534 ♪ Flows blood ♪ 677 00:31:55,672 --> 00:31:58,019 [cheering and applause] 678 00:31:58,157 --> 00:31:59,745 Oh, thank you. 679 00:31:59,883 --> 00:32:01,920 [clearing throat] 680 00:32:08,374 --> 00:32:10,307 [scattered laughter] 681 00:32:10,445 --> 00:32:12,585 [laughter] 682 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:27,980 [vocalizing] 683 00:32:28,118 --> 00:32:31,052 ♪ Once I heard a serpent remark ♪ 684 00:32:31,190 --> 00:32:34,987 ♪ If you try to evoke the spark ♪ 685 00:32:35,125 --> 00:32:40,303 ♪ You can fly through the dark ♪ 686 00:32:40,441 --> 00:32:43,892 ♪ With a red midnight raven ♪ 687 00:32:44,031 --> 00:32:46,895 ♪ To rule the battleground ♪ 688 00:32:47,034 --> 00:32:50,485 ♪ So I drew my sword and got ready ♪ 689 00:32:50,623 --> 00:32:54,834 ♪ But the lamb ran away with the crown ♪ 690 00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:56,629 [fading to album recording] ♪ So I drew my sword ♪ 691 00:32:56,767 --> 00:32:58,700 ♪ And got ready ♪ 692 00:32:58,838 --> 00:33:02,325 ♪ But the lamb ran away with the crown ♪ 693 00:33:06,018 --> 00:33:07,916 [vocalizing] 694 00:33:08,055 --> 00:33:10,505 TIM: "The Lamb Ran Away with the Crown" is 695 00:33:10,643 --> 00:33:12,473 a song that's pretty unpredictable 696 00:33:12,611 --> 00:33:14,820 all the way through. 697 00:33:14,958 --> 00:33:18,513 Starts off fairly traditionally, 698 00:33:18,651 --> 00:33:19,859 but then there's all of a sudden 699 00:33:19,998 --> 00:33:22,207 that big jump to the much higher note. 700 00:33:22,414 --> 00:33:25,693 [Judee vocalizing] 701 00:33:25,831 --> 00:33:27,660 - ♪ Once a demon... ♪ - You know? 702 00:33:27,798 --> 00:33:29,248 And you're like, "Where'd that come from?" 703 00:33:29,386 --> 00:33:31,768 And then there's this-- this kind of, 704 00:33:31,906 --> 00:33:34,460 almost like a seasick melody 705 00:33:34,598 --> 00:33:38,533 where the "da-bom-bom-bom," where it's actually playing 706 00:33:38,671 --> 00:33:40,570 almost against the beat... 707 00:33:40,708 --> 00:33:46,472 ♪ ...crested cardinals to guard my battleground ♪ 708 00:33:46,610 --> 00:33:50,166 ♪ But I laughed so hard I cried ♪ 709 00:33:50,304 --> 00:33:52,582 ♪ And the lamb ran away with the crown ♪ 710 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,343 And now this astonishing ending. 711 00:33:56,379 --> 00:34:00,038 She repeats it, and the angels come in, 712 00:34:00,176 --> 00:34:02,419 [layered Judee vocals] ♪ And the lamb ran away... ♪ 713 00:34:02,557 --> 00:34:05,629 And then all of a sudden you get this really gritty, 714 00:34:05,767 --> 00:34:08,874 old New York rockin'-- ♪ Bah-buh-buh, buh-buh ♪ 715 00:34:09,012 --> 00:34:12,050 - ♪ But I laughed ♪ - ♪ But I laughed so hard ♪ 716 00:34:12,188 --> 00:34:14,121 - ♪ I cried ♪ - ♪ Laughed so hard ♪ 717 00:34:14,259 --> 00:34:16,226 - ♪ And the lamb... ♪ - And then 718 00:34:16,364 --> 00:34:19,229 it's just a perfect little clockwork. 719 00:34:19,367 --> 00:34:22,439 [mouthing along to lyrics] 720 00:34:22,577 --> 00:34:24,717 Perfect, a perfect record. 721 00:34:26,305 --> 00:34:29,170 Why this was not a huge hit single 722 00:34:29,308 --> 00:34:31,276 will always amaze me. 723 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,693 [vocalizing] 724 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,802 [continues vocalizing] 725 00:34:44,047 --> 00:34:46,774 - [applause] - Thank you. 726 00:34:50,433 --> 00:34:51,606 INTERVIEWER: What's going to happen 727 00:34:51,744 --> 00:34:54,333 when you do become a star? 728 00:34:54,471 --> 00:34:58,026 Which all signs are... then what will you do? 729 00:34:58,165 --> 00:35:00,719 JUDEE: Once I get my foot in the door, I'll go crazy. 730 00:35:00,857 --> 00:35:03,377 I'll do everything I can, as fast as I can. 731 00:35:03,515 --> 00:35:04,999 Who knows how high I'll go? I don't know. 732 00:35:05,137 --> 00:35:06,587 But I'm putting it at the top right now. 733 00:35:06,725 --> 00:35:09,521 That's how high I want to go, is the very top. 734 00:35:09,659 --> 00:35:11,143 I told her if she wanted to have a success, 735 00:35:11,281 --> 00:35:12,593 she needed to write something that would, 736 00:35:12,731 --> 00:35:14,250 you know, get a lot of radio airplay. 737 00:35:14,388 --> 00:35:16,114 And she was dating John David Souther 738 00:35:16,252 --> 00:35:17,977 at that time. 739 00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,152 JD SOUTHER: Judee felt she and I occupied 740 00:35:20,290 --> 00:35:23,121 some special territory that no one else occupied. 741 00:35:23,259 --> 00:35:24,708 INTERVIEWER: Were you in love with her? 742 00:35:24,846 --> 00:35:26,469 JD SOUTHER: Yeah, I think so. 743 00:35:26,607 --> 00:35:28,333 But I was also in love with Linda. 744 00:35:28,471 --> 00:35:31,681 And Linda sort of came before and after. 745 00:35:31,819 --> 00:35:33,545 LINDA: I didn't know that there had been anything 746 00:35:33,683 --> 00:35:35,374 between them when I first took up with him. 747 00:35:35,512 --> 00:35:37,618 But I think that that was a bit of a problem. 748 00:35:37,756 --> 00:35:39,171 I think she was kind of angry at John David. 749 00:35:41,104 --> 00:35:42,899 JUDEE: I happened to stumble across this real obscure 750 00:35:43,037 --> 00:35:46,972 theological fact, and that is that Jesus was a cross maker. 751 00:35:47,110 --> 00:35:48,698 And that really got me when I heard that, 752 00:35:48,836 --> 00:35:50,044 I knew I had to write a song about it. 753 00:35:50,182 --> 00:35:51,666 At the same time, I was having a... 754 00:35:51,804 --> 00:35:53,427 real unhappy romance with this guy 755 00:35:53,565 --> 00:35:55,222 who was a bandit and a heartbreaker. 756 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,673 So, one morning I woke up, and realized that 757 00:35:58,811 --> 00:36:00,503 "he's a bandit and a heartbreaker" 758 00:36:00,641 --> 00:36:04,058 rhymes with "but Jesus was a cross maker." 759 00:36:04,196 --> 00:36:06,060 And I knew that even that wretched bastard 760 00:36:06,198 --> 00:36:07,889 was not beyond redemption. 761 00:36:08,027 --> 00:36:11,962 [crowd laughter and applause] 762 00:36:12,100 --> 00:36:14,689 It's true, it's true, I swear. 763 00:36:16,484 --> 00:36:17,899 JD SOUTHER: She just showed up one morning, 764 00:36:18,037 --> 00:36:19,556 knocked on the door, "I wanna play you something." 765 00:36:19,694 --> 00:36:21,317 Came in and sat on the bed and looked me 766 00:36:21,455 --> 00:36:22,904 right in the eye and played that. 767 00:36:23,042 --> 00:36:24,872 She called me an "irredeemable bastard" 768 00:36:25,010 --> 00:36:26,563 or something like that. 769 00:36:26,701 --> 00:36:29,048 JUDEE: ♪ One time I trusted a stranger ♪ 770 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:31,396 ♪ 'Cause I heard his sweet song ♪ 771 00:36:31,534 --> 00:36:34,433 ♪ And it was gently enticin' me ♪ 772 00:36:34,571 --> 00:36:36,780 ♪ Though there was somethin' wrong ♪ 773 00:36:36,918 --> 00:36:42,027 ♪ But when I turned, he was gone ♪ 774 00:36:42,165 --> 00:36:44,581 ♪ Blindin' me, his song remains ♪ 775 00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,550 ♪ Remindin' me he's a bandit ♪ 776 00:36:47,688 --> 00:36:50,449 ♪ And a heartbreaker ♪ 777 00:36:50,587 --> 00:36:54,936 ♪ Oh, but Jesus was a cross maker ♪ 778 00:36:55,074 --> 00:36:57,422 - ♪ Sweet silver angel ♪ - GRAHAM: I heard the song, 779 00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,147 and it was very intriguing 780 00:36:59,286 --> 00:37:01,426 because I thought it could be a hit. 781 00:37:01,564 --> 00:37:04,256 It took very little producing on my part. 782 00:37:04,394 --> 00:37:06,741 You know, she was great at overdubbing her voice. 783 00:37:06,879 --> 00:37:08,743 She was great at singing live. 784 00:37:08,881 --> 00:37:11,815 LINDA: Oh, the voicings in "Jesus Was a Cross Maker," 785 00:37:11,953 --> 00:37:13,990 I love the bass line. If she had a song 786 00:37:14,128 --> 00:37:16,164 that was gonna be a hit, it was that one. 787 00:37:16,303 --> 00:37:19,098 GEFFEN: She wanted to have success in a big, big way. 788 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,480 And with Graham producing it, 789 00:37:21,618 --> 00:37:23,827 she was sure that was gonna be the one. 790 00:37:23,965 --> 00:37:25,967 I suppose in some way I wish 791 00:37:26,105 --> 00:37:28,176 I had been able to make it up to her, 792 00:37:28,315 --> 00:37:30,351 I wish I had been a little bit less reckless 793 00:37:30,489 --> 00:37:33,354 with her feelings. And yet it's, 794 00:37:33,492 --> 00:37:34,666 as she said, she thought it was 795 00:37:34,804 --> 00:37:36,806 the best song she'd written. 796 00:37:36,944 --> 00:37:38,635 JUDEE: It saved me, this song. 797 00:37:38,773 --> 00:37:41,638 It was writing this song or suicide. 798 00:37:41,776 --> 00:37:43,985 JUDEE: ♪ Fightin him, he lights a lamp ♪ 799 00:37:44,123 --> 00:37:47,023 ♪ Invitin' him, he's a bandit ♪ 800 00:37:47,161 --> 00:37:49,957 ♪ And a heartbreaker ♪ 801 00:37:50,095 --> 00:37:54,168 ♪ Oh, but Jesus was a cross maker ♪ 802 00:37:54,306 --> 00:37:58,897 ♪ Sweet silver angels over the sea ♪ 803 00:37:59,035 --> 00:38:01,140 ♪ Please come down flyin' ♪ 804 00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:05,835 ♪ Low for me ♪ 805 00:38:05,973 --> 00:38:08,631 ♪ I hear the thunder come rumblin'♪ 806 00:38:08,769 --> 00:38:10,840 ♪ The light never looked so dim ♪ 807 00:38:10,978 --> 00:38:13,463 ♪ I see the junction get nearer ♪ 808 00:38:13,601 --> 00:38:16,190 ♪ And danger is in the wind ♪ 809 00:38:16,328 --> 00:38:18,779 ♪ And either road's ♪ 810 00:38:18,917 --> 00:38:21,954 ♪ Lookin' grim ♪ 811 00:38:22,092 --> 00:38:23,887 ♪ Blindin' me, his song remains ♪ 812 00:38:24,025 --> 00:38:26,994 ♪ Remindin' me he's a bandit ♪ 813 00:38:27,132 --> 00:38:28,582 ♪ And a heartbreaker ♪ 814 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:31,412 DAVID: Judee Sill opened for us, for me and Nash, 815 00:38:31,550 --> 00:38:34,312 on a tour. That's how I got to know her. 816 00:38:34,450 --> 00:38:35,692 GEFFEN: She was thrilled to be on the road. 817 00:38:35,830 --> 00:38:37,901 She was thrilled to be playing these clubs. 818 00:38:38,039 --> 00:38:39,938 She was thrilled the people were loving her music. 819 00:38:40,076 --> 00:38:42,699 I remember giving Judee an acoustic guitar. 820 00:38:42,837 --> 00:38:45,046 I think one of hers had gone wonky at some point. 821 00:38:45,184 --> 00:38:47,290 And we lent her one of ours for her show, 822 00:38:47,428 --> 00:38:50,017 and she loved it. And so I gave it to her. 823 00:38:50,155 --> 00:38:51,467 So what was written on the back? 824 00:38:51,605 --> 00:38:52,847 INTERVIEWER: "Live Life." 825 00:38:55,954 --> 00:38:57,852 That sounds like Judee to me. 826 00:38:57,990 --> 00:39:00,234 ♪ 827 00:39:00,372 --> 00:39:01,787 INTERVIEWER: You talked about some low times. 828 00:39:01,925 --> 00:39:03,099 Can you remember some times when you have had 829 00:39:03,237 --> 00:39:04,963 - a good time? - JUDEE: Oh, yeah. 830 00:39:05,101 --> 00:39:07,137 I'm having a pretty good time right now. 831 00:39:07,275 --> 00:39:09,243 And my billboard being up makes me have a good time. 832 00:39:09,381 --> 00:39:10,865 I go and look at it. 833 00:39:11,003 --> 00:39:12,626 I rented a car and parked in a lot. 834 00:39:12,764 --> 00:39:15,767 Just parked. That was great. 835 00:39:15,905 --> 00:39:17,424 TOMMY: I couldn't help but remember it was 836 00:39:17,562 --> 00:39:20,703 only two years earlier she was living in her car. 837 00:39:20,841 --> 00:39:23,878 Now she's got a house and a pool out in the Valley! 838 00:39:24,016 --> 00:39:27,054 And she's on a billboard on the Strip! 839 00:39:27,192 --> 00:39:29,712 From rags to riches, definitely. 840 00:39:29,850 --> 00:39:31,058 But she was still the same, 841 00:39:31,196 --> 00:39:32,749 that was the beauty of it, you know. 842 00:39:32,887 --> 00:39:35,752 PLUMMER: They gave her a lot of money and advances. 843 00:39:35,890 --> 00:39:39,307 And, of course, she liked to spend money, a lot. 844 00:39:39,446 --> 00:39:41,102 Whether it was gifts for her friends 845 00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:43,933 or people going out to dinner, 846 00:39:44,071 --> 00:39:47,039 she always had a place to put it. 847 00:39:47,177 --> 00:39:48,869 JUDEE: I don't want you to get the wrong impression. 848 00:39:49,007 --> 00:39:50,560 I love to have fun. I love to drink tequila 849 00:39:50,698 --> 00:39:53,908 and hoot out the window, real loud, over the balcony. 850 00:39:54,046 --> 00:39:55,703 I wake up in the morning and go out and hoot. 851 00:39:55,841 --> 00:39:58,361 I go "Ahooooo!" real loud, 852 00:39:58,499 --> 00:40:00,812 and it echoes over the canyon. 853 00:40:00,950 --> 00:40:03,090 I have a good time when people applaud. 854 00:40:03,228 --> 00:40:04,988 I have a good time when they like me. 855 00:40:05,126 --> 00:40:06,507 I have a good time when I get to sing real good, 856 00:40:06,645 --> 00:40:08,164 when my voice sounds good. 857 00:40:08,302 --> 00:40:10,477 It thrills me. It thrills me so much 858 00:40:10,615 --> 00:40:12,410 I can't tell you. Ah, fulfilling my dreams. 859 00:40:12,548 --> 00:40:14,412 You know?[sighing] 860 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:23,593 "JUDEE": Album sold about 40,000 in the States, 861 00:40:23,731 --> 00:40:25,906 which isn't bad. 862 00:40:26,044 --> 00:40:27,494 They keep putting me on with rock bands, 863 00:40:27,632 --> 00:40:28,978 which is appalling. 864 00:40:29,116 --> 00:40:30,669 I come on, and there's 11,000 865 00:40:30,807 --> 00:40:32,844 screaming groupies taking reds and red wine. 866 00:40:34,708 --> 00:40:36,330 JUDEE: Please buy my albums so I won't have to open 867 00:40:36,468 --> 00:40:38,850 for any more rock groups, because it's so terrible 868 00:40:38,988 --> 00:40:40,852 opening for rock groups. 869 00:40:40,990 --> 00:40:42,543 Especially when they're really young and real loud 870 00:40:42,681 --> 00:40:44,890 and real snotty, too. 871 00:40:45,028 --> 00:40:46,374 It's so humiliating for me. 872 00:40:46,513 --> 00:40:47,652 Please buy my album. 873 00:40:49,757 --> 00:40:52,622 There was a kind of an owl- like properness to her. 874 00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,279 She'd look out over the crowd, 875 00:40:54,417 --> 00:40:56,488 like an owl surveying. Ad she'd make judgments-- 876 00:40:56,626 --> 00:41:00,043 [laughing] - like the wise old owl. 877 00:41:00,181 --> 00:41:02,287 She could attack like an owl, too. 878 00:41:02,494 --> 00:41:04,151 [vocalizing] 879 00:41:06,498 --> 00:41:08,258 JUDEE: That person who hissed can 880 00:41:08,396 --> 00:41:10,778 either come up on the stage and do it, or leave. 881 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:14,195 [cheering and applause] 882 00:41:17,578 --> 00:41:19,407 JD SOUTHER: Judee didn't play the game very well, 883 00:41:19,546 --> 00:41:22,203 Judee was as rough around the edges as I am. 884 00:41:22,341 --> 00:41:24,620 She was all pointy elbows. 885 00:41:24,758 --> 00:41:26,242 You know, neither one of us could-- 886 00:41:26,380 --> 00:41:28,140 were very great at remembering people's names 887 00:41:28,278 --> 00:41:30,833 and absolutely terrible at kissing ass. 888 00:41:32,282 --> 00:41:34,250 VICKI RANDLE: She was absolutely 889 00:41:34,388 --> 00:41:39,117 not going to minimize herself, 890 00:41:39,255 --> 00:41:42,741 you know, for anybody else's comfort. 891 00:41:44,571 --> 00:41:47,021 JUDEE: It upsets me to be number two. 892 00:41:47,159 --> 00:41:49,092 To have to open the show for someone. 893 00:41:49,230 --> 00:41:50,991 You know, I know it's just a silly thing. 894 00:41:51,129 --> 00:41:52,544 I think it's my fanaticism 895 00:41:52,682 --> 00:41:54,753 coming out in a mundane way, 896 00:41:54,891 --> 00:41:56,375 - you know? - INTERVIEWER: Yeah. 897 00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:57,929 I get a little impatient sometimes, 898 00:41:58,067 --> 00:41:59,655 with my progress. 899 00:41:59,793 --> 00:42:01,519 I want to be better, you know. 900 00:42:01,657 --> 00:42:03,486 They're always worried that my impatience 901 00:42:03,624 --> 00:42:05,281 will blow it for me. 902 00:42:05,419 --> 00:42:07,041 I'm horribly impatient. 903 00:42:08,180 --> 00:42:09,734 She got the same shot that every other artist 904 00:42:09,872 --> 00:42:11,805 on Asylum Records got, and of course 905 00:42:11,943 --> 00:42:14,497 most of those people did succeed in a big way, 906 00:42:14,635 --> 00:42:17,431 so, you know, if you're not selling 907 00:42:17,569 --> 00:42:19,398 as much as you want to sell, or as much as 908 00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:21,746 your other label mates are selling, 909 00:42:21,884 --> 00:42:23,886 that doesn't feel that great. 910 00:42:24,024 --> 00:42:25,197 But it certainly wasn't because 911 00:42:25,335 --> 00:42:26,405 she got less of an effort. 912 00:42:29,167 --> 00:42:30,582 INTERVIEWER: Do you want to record again right away? 913 00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:32,411 - JUDEE: No. - No? You wanna wait? 914 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:33,620 I wanna wait till I have the album, 915 00:42:33,758 --> 00:42:35,380 then I'll record again, which won't be 916 00:42:35,518 --> 00:42:37,658 for a while 'cause I only have about five songs, maybe. 917 00:42:37,796 --> 00:42:39,108 And I go as fast as I can. 918 00:42:39,246 --> 00:42:40,592 I swear, I work 24 hours a day, 919 00:42:40,730 --> 00:42:42,076 thinking about it all the time. 920 00:42:42,214 --> 00:42:43,802 But if I had to write two albums a year, 921 00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:45,632 I'd have to write shit, and I don't wanna write shit. 922 00:42:45,770 --> 00:42:47,254 If it takes five years to make my next album, 923 00:42:47,392 --> 00:42:48,945 that's how long it's going to take. 924 00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:50,153 They can rush me all they want, 925 00:42:50,291 --> 00:42:51,465 but I'm not gonna rush God. 926 00:42:51,603 --> 00:42:53,743 What an outrage, you know? 927 00:42:53,881 --> 00:42:55,124 Sucking up to the Almighty. 928 00:42:55,262 --> 00:42:56,746 [chuckling] 929 00:42:58,265 --> 00:42:59,680 [soft piano playing] 930 00:43:01,475 --> 00:43:03,235 I don't care about turning lead into gold, 931 00:43:03,373 --> 00:43:05,134 but I do care about turning my lower animal natures 932 00:43:05,272 --> 00:43:07,343 into the highest thing. 933 00:43:07,481 --> 00:43:09,345 But I keep confirming my suspicion about that-- 934 00:43:09,483 --> 00:43:11,036 that the lower down you go to get your momentum, 935 00:43:11,174 --> 00:43:14,315 from the higher up, it will propel you-- that's a fact. 936 00:43:14,453 --> 00:43:16,007 I thought I would take a different approach 937 00:43:16,145 --> 00:43:18,319 when I wrote this song, in that most of my songs, 938 00:43:18,457 --> 00:43:19,700 I always try to write 'em that they will 939 00:43:19,838 --> 00:43:21,840 make people feel better. 940 00:43:21,978 --> 00:43:23,773 But I thought one day when I was real depressed 941 00:43:23,911 --> 00:43:25,464 that-- you know, when you're real depressed 942 00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:27,294 and you see everything comes to nothing-- well, I thought 943 00:43:27,432 --> 00:43:28,916 maybe I'd better take a different approach 944 00:43:29,054 --> 00:43:31,194 and write a song, instead of directed at people, 945 00:43:31,332 --> 00:43:33,611 that would somehow musically induce God 946 00:43:33,749 --> 00:43:35,440 into giving us all a break. 947 00:43:39,133 --> 00:43:42,205 ♪ I'll chase 'em to the bottom ♪ 948 00:43:42,343 --> 00:43:45,243 ♪ Till I've finally caught 'em ♪ 949 00:43:45,381 --> 00:43:48,695 ♪ Dreams fall deep ♪ 950 00:43:48,833 --> 00:43:50,938 JUDEE: So I put these "Kyrie Eleisons," 951 00:43:51,076 --> 00:43:53,389 which I found out means something to the effect of, 952 00:43:53,527 --> 00:43:55,184 "God, give us a break." 953 00:43:55,322 --> 00:43:57,186 And they say it in requiems when people die, 954 00:43:57,324 --> 00:43:58,428 you know, so that their soul will be guarded 955 00:43:58,566 --> 00:43:59,809 on the way on, you know. 956 00:44:01,328 --> 00:44:02,363 There's a fugue in that song also, 957 00:44:02,501 --> 00:44:04,158 and a sixteen-part round. 958 00:44:04,296 --> 00:44:06,333 Also, while all those voices are saying, 959 00:44:06,471 --> 00:44:09,370 ♪ Da da-da-da-da da, da da da da ♪ 960 00:44:09,508 --> 00:44:11,752 The second person comes in with, 961 00:44:11,890 --> 00:44:15,204 ♪ Da-da-da-da da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 962 00:44:15,342 --> 00:44:16,654 And then all throughout, they're going, 963 00:44:16,792 --> 00:44:19,933 ♪ Kyrie Elei... Kyrie Elei... ♪ 964 00:44:20,071 --> 00:44:21,486 you know, it goes... [fades out] 965 00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,146 Since that time, I've decided that I shouldn't get 966 00:44:26,284 --> 00:44:27,388 any more breaks because I already squandered them 967 00:44:27,526 --> 00:44:28,907 in weird places. 968 00:44:29,045 --> 00:44:30,391 But I'd like to sing this song for you 969 00:44:30,529 --> 00:44:33,153 and hope that you'll get a break. "The Donor." 970 00:44:33,291 --> 00:44:35,155 [vocalizing] 971 00:44:37,019 --> 00:44:42,541 ♪ Kyrie, Kyrie ♪ 972 00:44:44,233 --> 00:44:49,687 ♪ Kyrie, Kyrie ♪ 973 00:44:51,550 --> 00:44:57,073 ♪ Kyrie, Kyrie ♪ 974 00:44:59,524 --> 00:45:02,423 ♪ Kyrie, Kyrie ♪ 975 00:45:02,561 --> 00:45:05,599 JUDEE: ♪ Chase em' to the bottom ♪ 976 00:45:05,737 --> 00:45:09,292 ♪ Till I've finally caught 'em ♪ 977 00:45:09,430 --> 00:45:12,744 ♪ Dreams fall deep ♪ 978 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,440 ♪ Where voices come a-chimin' ♪ 979 00:45:19,578 --> 00:45:23,824 ♪ Moanin', and a-rhymin' ♪ 980 00:45:23,962 --> 00:45:26,827 ♪ Warnin' me, their words are ♪ 981 00:45:26,965 --> 00:45:30,382 ♪ Ringin' and a-whinin' ♪ 982 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:35,180 ♪ Hear 'em weep ♪ 983 00:45:37,838 --> 00:45:43,154 ♪ Kyrie Eleison ♪ 984 00:45:43,292 --> 00:45:46,813 ♪ Eleison, Eleison ♪ 985 00:45:46,951 --> 00:45:49,781 ♪ Eleison ♪ 986 00:45:49,919 --> 00:45:55,822 ♪ Kyrie Eleison ♪ 987 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:59,860 NATALIE: She was literally crying out to God for mercy. 988 00:45:59,998 --> 00:46:02,173 It's like a level of desperation and vulnerability 989 00:46:02,311 --> 00:46:04,140 that totally transcends a lot of the real 990 00:46:04,278 --> 00:46:06,177 personal songwriting that was going on at the time. 991 00:46:06,315 --> 00:46:10,008 It's a completely spiritual plea. 992 00:46:10,146 --> 00:46:13,563 I mean, what else is there like it in pop music? 993 00:46:15,669 --> 00:46:16,843 JUDEE: I learned what not to do this time. 994 00:46:18,465 --> 00:46:20,674 Not let anyone tell me what to do. 995 00:46:20,812 --> 00:46:22,987 I'm throwing them all out of the studio 996 00:46:23,125 --> 00:46:24,402 and taking a little conductor's wand 997 00:46:24,540 --> 00:46:26,300 and rapping everyone's knuckles, get out. 998 00:46:27,474 --> 00:46:29,165 That way I won't have to feel bad if I hear 999 00:46:29,303 --> 00:46:30,477 something that someone put their own notes in. 1000 00:46:30,615 --> 00:46:32,341 You know, there'll be none of that. 1001 00:46:32,479 --> 00:46:34,205 LINDA: She was conducting her own orchestra, 1002 00:46:34,343 --> 00:46:36,000 that's... that's pretty impressive. 1003 00:46:36,138 --> 00:46:38,519 You know? I don't know a lot of singer-songwriters 1004 00:46:38,657 --> 00:46:40,521 that were able to do that. 1005 00:46:40,659 --> 00:46:42,144 ART JOHNSON: And she was listening to the playback 1006 00:46:42,282 --> 00:46:44,146 with a big, giant set of headphones on 1007 00:46:44,284 --> 00:46:46,148 that were too big for her, and her eyes closed, 1008 00:46:46,286 --> 00:46:48,426 with the baton she bought. 1009 00:46:48,564 --> 00:46:51,222 That was Judee, I mean, she had to have it, you know. 1010 00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:52,671 "If I'm gonna conduct, I'm gonna have 1011 00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,536 a fucking baton, okay?" Ha, ha, okay, dear. 1012 00:46:55,674 --> 00:46:57,331 [gentle major key playing] 1013 00:47:04,891 --> 00:47:06,409 LINDA: She was growing and evolving 1014 00:47:06,547 --> 00:47:08,411 with her orchestrations, and the basic parts of them 1015 00:47:08,549 --> 00:47:10,758 that you can't teach were really good. 1016 00:47:10,897 --> 00:47:14,210 Her own talents blossomed in the studio. 1017 00:47:14,348 --> 00:47:16,178 She just was really gifted in that way. 1018 00:47:16,316 --> 00:47:18,249 So her second album was just remarkable. 1019 00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:21,942 "JUDEE": I'm here in the studio now. 1020 00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,738 Louie Shelton is putting on his guitar part on "Soldier." 1021 00:47:24,876 --> 00:47:26,602 It's good! 1022 00:47:26,740 --> 00:47:28,466 "The Donor" is dynamite. 1023 00:47:28,604 --> 00:47:30,917 Album cover looks good. 1024 00:47:31,055 --> 00:47:33,022 I still want to be the greatest songwriter 1025 00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:34,990 in the world because the aim gives me 1026 00:47:35,128 --> 00:47:36,888 something to strive for. 1027 00:47:37,026 --> 00:47:38,545 I'm happy if there's some hope 1028 00:47:38,683 --> 00:47:40,064 of reaching a high place. 1029 00:47:41,928 --> 00:47:43,653 SHAWN COLVIN: I was working in Baskin Robbins 1030 00:47:43,791 --> 00:47:46,035 in Carbondale, Illinois, 1031 00:47:46,173 --> 00:47:48,727 so I must have been 15 years old. 1032 00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:50,798 "There's a Rugged Road" came on, 1033 00:47:50,937 --> 00:47:54,043 and I was pulled in immediately. 1034 00:47:54,181 --> 00:47:55,458 And then when the chorus came in 1035 00:47:55,596 --> 00:47:57,736 and those harmonies came in, 1036 00:47:57,875 --> 00:48:00,912 I'm like, "Who..." [mouths] "...is this?" 1037 00:48:04,053 --> 00:48:07,263 JUDEE: ♪ Roll on, roll on, roll on ♪ 1038 00:48:07,401 --> 00:48:09,058 ♪ Night birds are flyin' ♪ 1039 00:48:09,196 --> 00:48:12,130 ♪ Come on, the light is gone ♪ 1040 00:48:12,268 --> 00:48:14,236 ♪ Hope's slowly dyin' ♪ 1041 00:48:14,374 --> 00:48:18,447 ♪ Tell me how you come ridin' through ♪ 1042 00:48:18,585 --> 00:48:22,796 ♪ Still surveyin' the miles yet to run ♪ 1043 00:48:22,934 --> 00:48:27,490 ♪ On the long and lonely road to kingdom come ♪ 1044 00:48:30,390 --> 00:48:31,839 [film projector whirring] 1045 00:48:34,083 --> 00:48:35,291 JUDEE: Oh, yes, I've been wanting to do 1046 00:48:35,429 --> 00:48:36,603 this little song here that I just wrote 1047 00:48:36,741 --> 00:48:38,329 seven days ago, eight days ago, 1048 00:48:38,467 --> 00:48:40,469 and it's called "The Kiss." 1049 00:48:40,607 --> 00:48:43,230 And I can't decide if this is a romantic song 1050 00:48:43,368 --> 00:48:45,094 or a holy song, but whatever it is, 1051 00:48:45,232 --> 00:48:46,854 it stands for that brief communion 1052 00:48:46,993 --> 00:48:49,133 of a kiss, you know. Whether it's actually a kiss 1053 00:48:49,271 --> 00:48:50,858 or whether it's just a moment 1054 00:48:50,997 --> 00:48:52,930 that is locked in, you know, I don't know. 1055 00:48:54,138 --> 00:48:56,381 Uh... I hope you like it. 1056 00:48:56,519 --> 00:48:58,349 [playing "The Kiss"] 1057 00:49:07,910 --> 00:49:10,982 ADRIANNE: "The Kiss" was my introduction to Judee Sill, 1058 00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:14,503 and I thought, "I need to learn that song." 1059 00:49:14,641 --> 00:49:16,884 [chuckling] It's been very rare that 1060 00:49:17,023 --> 00:49:19,887 I've been moved in the moment, on the spot. 1061 00:49:20,026 --> 00:49:22,511 "I just want to feel this song in a deeper way." 1062 00:49:24,651 --> 00:49:26,204 BUCK MEEK: There's just so much movement 1063 00:49:26,342 --> 00:49:27,999 in the song itself. 1064 00:49:28,137 --> 00:49:30,001 It goes through so many movements 1065 00:49:30,139 --> 00:49:31,692 like an opera, almost. Like the melody is 1066 00:49:31,830 --> 00:49:34,074 often the 9th or the 11th or the 13th, 1067 00:49:34,212 --> 00:49:35,765 and she'll modulate keys to the major third, 1068 00:49:35,903 --> 00:49:38,320 and then she's substituting chords all over the place. 1069 00:49:38,458 --> 00:49:41,081 It's amazing. It's another artifact 1070 00:49:41,219 --> 00:49:43,670 of her pursuit to try to remove the threshold 1071 00:49:43,808 --> 00:49:45,499 between the human experience 1072 00:49:45,637 --> 00:49:48,778 and some kind of universal force. 1073 00:49:48,916 --> 00:49:50,815 She used the term "kiss" a lot 1074 00:49:50,953 --> 00:49:53,335 in describing God's grace. 1075 00:49:53,473 --> 00:49:57,373 It's almost like a sensual experience with God. 1076 00:49:57,511 --> 00:49:59,997 It becomes slightly sexualized. 1077 00:50:00,135 --> 00:50:02,896 She kind of wanted the two things to merge, 1078 00:50:03,034 --> 00:50:05,450 you know, the love of two humans together 1079 00:50:05,588 --> 00:50:07,590 and the love between a spiritual god. 1080 00:50:07,728 --> 00:50:10,524 I had never heard a song about that. 1081 00:50:10,662 --> 00:50:14,011 It just felt like something that I could listen to 1082 00:50:14,149 --> 00:50:18,429 throughout my whole life and continuously uncover 1083 00:50:18,567 --> 00:50:21,156 more and more meaning, like, it just seemed 1084 00:50:21,294 --> 00:50:24,228 like a bottomless well. 1085 00:50:24,366 --> 00:50:26,851 Like a life-giving song, like medicine. 1086 00:50:33,892 --> 00:50:36,309 ♪ Love... ♪ 1087 00:50:36,447 --> 00:50:41,245 ♪ Rising from the mists ♪ 1088 00:50:41,383 --> 00:50:43,937 ♪ Promise me ♪ 1089 00:50:44,075 --> 00:50:47,458 ♪ This and only this ♪ 1090 00:50:47,596 --> 00:50:49,598 ♪ Holy breath ♪ 1091 00:50:49,736 --> 00:50:52,187 ♪ Touching me ♪ 1092 00:50:52,325 --> 00:50:56,881 ♪ Like a windsong ♪ 1093 00:50:58,779 --> 00:51:01,265 ♪ Sweet communion ♪ 1094 00:51:01,403 --> 00:51:03,922 ♪ Of a kiss ♪ 1095 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:06,925 [fading into original recording] 1096 00:51:07,064 --> 00:51:10,067 JUDEE: ♪ Sun ♪ 1097 00:51:10,205 --> 00:51:15,555 ♪ Sifting through the grey ♪ 1098 00:51:15,693 --> 00:51:19,076 ♪ Enter it ♪ 1099 00:51:19,214 --> 00:51:21,940 ♪ Reach me with a ray ♪ 1100 00:51:22,079 --> 00:51:27,014 ♪ Silently swooping down ♪ 1101 00:51:27,153 --> 00:51:33,952 ♪ Just to show me ♪ 1102 00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:39,786 ♪ How to give my heart away ♪ 1103 00:51:42,892 --> 00:51:46,827 ♪ Once a crystal choir appeared ♪ 1104 00:51:46,965 --> 00:51:51,246 ♪ While I was sleeping and called my name ♪ 1105 00:51:51,384 --> 00:51:55,181 ♪ And when they came down ♪ 1106 00:51:55,319 --> 00:51:57,286 ♪ Nearer ♪ 1107 00:51:57,424 --> 00:52:03,154 ♪ Saying dying is done ♪ 1108 00:52:03,292 --> 00:52:08,573 ♪ Then a new song was sung ♪ 1109 00:52:08,711 --> 00:52:11,542 ♪ Until somewhere ♪ 1110 00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:17,479 ♪ We breathed as one ♪ 1111 00:52:20,413 --> 00:52:22,691 ♪ Ahhh ♪ She would crescendo things 1112 00:52:22,829 --> 00:52:24,555 with this double vocal-- 1113 00:52:24,693 --> 00:52:28,697 ♪ Sweet communion of a... ♪ 1114 00:52:28,835 --> 00:52:31,355 There just wasn't 1115 00:52:31,493 --> 00:52:33,564 and won't be anybody that writes like that. 1116 00:52:33,702 --> 00:52:36,532 I've never heard anything that's made me go, 1117 00:52:36,670 --> 00:52:39,052 "Oh, that sounds like Judee Sill." Never. 1118 00:52:39,190 --> 00:52:41,710 ♪ Lately sparkling hosts ♪ 1119 00:52:41,848 --> 00:52:43,988 ♪ Come fill my dreams ♪ 1120 00:52:44,126 --> 00:52:48,026 ♪ Descending on fiery beams ♪ 1121 00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:49,821 ♪ I've seen 'em ♪ 1122 00:52:49,959 --> 00:52:54,688 ♪ Come clear down ♪ 1123 00:52:54,826 --> 00:52:59,210 ♪ Where our poor bodies lay ♪ 1124 00:53:00,729 --> 00:53:05,216 ♪ Soothe us gently and say ♪ 1125 00:53:06,873 --> 00:53:08,392 ♪ Gonna wash ♪ 1126 00:53:08,530 --> 00:53:12,534 ♪ All our tears ♪ 1127 00:53:12,672 --> 00:53:14,639 ♪ Away ♪ 1128 00:53:14,777 --> 00:53:19,541 ♪ And still I hear their whisper? ♪ 1129 00:53:19,679 --> 00:53:22,060 ♪ Love ♪ 1130 00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:26,893 ♪ Rising from the mists ♪ 1131 00:53:27,031 --> 00:53:30,621 ♪ Promise me ♪ 1132 00:53:30,759 --> 00:53:33,555 ♪ This and only this ♪ 1133 00:53:33,693 --> 00:53:38,491 ♪ Holy breath touching me ♪ 1134 00:53:38,629 --> 00:53:44,876 ♪ Like a wind song ♪ 1135 00:53:45,014 --> 00:53:48,121 ♪ Sweet communion ♪ 1136 00:53:48,259 --> 00:53:51,607 ♪ Of a kiss ♪ 1137 00:53:51,745 --> 00:53:53,575 [piano outro] 1138 00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:02,066 GEFFEN: When she made the second album, 1139 00:54:02,204 --> 00:54:03,930 she was thrilled. 1140 00:54:04,068 --> 00:54:05,690 She was sure it was going to give her 1141 00:54:05,828 --> 00:54:08,245 the kind of success that she so craved. 1142 00:54:09,315 --> 00:54:11,178 JD SOUTHER: She thought, "This is really good stuff." 1143 00:54:11,317 --> 00:54:13,284 And it was really good stuff, and... 1144 00:54:13,422 --> 00:54:15,286 David Geffen knew it, and I knew it, 1145 00:54:15,424 --> 00:54:17,254 and a few other people knew it, and we thought, 1146 00:54:17,392 --> 00:54:19,290 "Yeah, that... should do well." 1147 00:54:21,154 --> 00:54:23,121 I... was wondering how it was going to do well, 1148 00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:26,849 'cause it was so not what anyone else was doing. 1149 00:54:26,987 --> 00:54:28,506 But it was just so damn good. 1150 00:54:28,644 --> 00:54:29,852 I always think something that's 1151 00:54:29,990 --> 00:54:31,371 really good is going to make it. 1152 00:54:34,581 --> 00:54:35,651 JUDEE: I've had a great time, people are 1153 00:54:35,789 --> 00:54:37,101 real nice over here. 1154 00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:38,447 The general public seems like 1155 00:54:38,585 --> 00:54:39,793 they're a little more sensitive 1156 00:54:39,931 --> 00:54:41,347 to the kind of music that I think of. 1157 00:54:41,485 --> 00:54:43,728 More than in the States, seems like. 1158 00:54:43,866 --> 00:54:45,351 In America, the young people, 1159 00:54:45,489 --> 00:54:47,042 when they go to hear a rock group, 1160 00:54:47,180 --> 00:54:50,942 seems like they are set on having the music 1161 00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,151 excite certain levels. 1162 00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:55,499 They don't wanna have any ethereal music, you know? 1163 00:54:55,637 --> 00:54:57,880 They wanna... boogie in the lower levels. 1164 00:54:58,018 --> 00:54:59,606 They don't want to boogie in the higher levels, 1165 00:54:59,744 --> 00:55:01,470 you know? It's hard to combine those two things. 1166 00:55:01,608 --> 00:55:03,369 INTERVIEWER: Hmm. 1167 00:55:03,507 --> 00:55:05,750 ♪ I'm tired of hangin' on ♪ 1168 00:55:05,888 --> 00:55:08,822 ♪ Waiting for a showdown ♪ 1169 00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,066 ♪ Don't you see, I gotta ride 'em out ♪ 1170 00:55:11,204 --> 00:55:14,828 ♪ 'Cause the pearl's just 'round the bend ♪ 1171 00:55:14,966 --> 00:55:17,314 ♪ Beautiful pearl ♪ 1172 00:55:17,452 --> 00:55:20,731 ♪ When will you reappear? ♪ 1173 00:55:20,869 --> 00:55:24,838 ♪ Mysteries unfurl and become so clear ♪ 1174 00:55:24,976 --> 00:55:29,222 ♪ When I feel you near ♪ 1175 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,811 ♪ When my backyard weeds grew high, I hoped ♪ 1176 00:55:31,949 --> 00:55:34,848 ♪ That they would hide me ♪ 1177 00:55:34,986 --> 00:55:36,747 ♪ But I felt that the pearl was near ♪ 1178 00:55:36,885 --> 00:55:41,510 ♪ 'Cause I thought I saw it shine ♪ 1179 00:55:41,648 --> 00:55:43,409 ♪ I was lookin' all around ♪ 1180 00:55:43,547 --> 00:55:46,688 ♪ When I felt it there inside me ♪ 1181 00:55:46,826 --> 00:55:49,104 ♪ And I see a possibility ♪ 1182 00:55:49,242 --> 00:55:53,695 ♪ That it's been there all the time ♪ 1183 00:55:53,833 --> 00:55:55,559 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo ♪ 1184 00:55:55,697 --> 00:55:59,010 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo... ♪ 1185 00:56:02,013 --> 00:56:04,740 ♪ 1186 00:56:04,878 --> 00:56:07,571 IAN WARNER: I never saw anything happen sales-wise. 1187 00:56:07,709 --> 00:56:09,193 Where The Eagles and Jackson Browne 1188 00:56:09,331 --> 00:56:11,989 kind of took off, and there was 1189 00:56:12,127 --> 00:56:13,956 very little promotional material 1190 00:56:14,094 --> 00:56:15,889 to work with on Judee. 1191 00:56:16,027 --> 00:56:17,546 I can only go in with so many albums 1192 00:56:17,684 --> 00:56:19,652 to promote to a producer at a time. 1193 00:56:19,790 --> 00:56:23,552 So basically a few of them got lost in the shuffle, 1194 00:56:23,690 --> 00:56:25,382 and unfortunately Judee got lost. 1195 00:56:27,211 --> 00:56:28,971 JD SOUTHER: She was very disappointed 1196 00:56:29,109 --> 00:56:32,216 in the lack of response to her records. 1197 00:56:32,354 --> 00:56:34,252 Some of it has got to be the topic of the songs. 1198 00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,944 How many people were interested in songs 1199 00:56:36,082 --> 00:56:39,465 about a mystical Christ in 1972 and '73? 1200 00:56:39,603 --> 00:56:42,191 Coming from someone with that very strange voice 1201 00:56:42,329 --> 00:56:44,159 and strange combination of influences, 1202 00:56:44,297 --> 00:56:46,092 records that had all the Bach progressions, 1203 00:56:46,230 --> 00:56:47,680 with these big string charts 1204 00:56:47,818 --> 00:56:50,165 and sort of Sons of the Pioneers 1205 00:56:50,303 --> 00:56:52,443 steel guitar and... [imitates hooves clopping] 1206 00:56:52,581 --> 00:56:54,928 you know, coconut shell hoof beats, 1207 00:56:55,066 --> 00:56:57,655 and... it's a real strange mélange of sound to put 1208 00:56:57,793 --> 00:56:59,105 on a singer-songwriter record. 1209 00:56:59,243 --> 00:57:00,451 That's not what was happening. 1210 00:57:00,589 --> 00:57:02,419 Jackson Browne was what was happening. 1211 00:57:02,557 --> 00:57:04,110 LINDA: It wasn't in a category, 1212 00:57:04,248 --> 00:57:06,043 it wasn't in a niche, it was an original. 1213 00:57:06,181 --> 00:57:07,769 So, how to promote her, 1214 00:57:07,907 --> 00:57:09,460 I wouldn't have known how to promote her. 1215 00:57:09,598 --> 00:57:11,773 Somehow Joni Mitchell got through. 1216 00:57:11,911 --> 00:57:14,361 She had to deal with so much rejection, 1217 00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:17,710 being so different, being so singular 1218 00:57:17,848 --> 00:57:21,783 and not being as physically attractive. 1219 00:57:21,921 --> 00:57:23,992 And I think that being that singular 1220 00:57:24,130 --> 00:57:26,650 and that different but not looking beautiful, 1221 00:57:26,788 --> 00:57:29,687 in the '70s, was probably really hard. 1222 00:57:29,825 --> 00:57:31,862 It's the music business. So it's show biz. 1223 00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:33,864 And it was in the '70s in LA. 1224 00:57:34,002 --> 00:57:35,693 I'm sure there was a lot of pressure on her 1225 00:57:35,831 --> 00:57:38,247 to look a certain way and to maybe act a certain way 1226 00:57:38,385 --> 00:57:39,732 or be with certain people. 1227 00:57:39,870 --> 00:57:41,319 She's probably like "Hey, I'm doing something 1228 00:57:41,458 --> 00:57:42,873 "with all my heart here. 1229 00:57:43,011 --> 00:57:44,806 "These songs contain, 1230 00:57:44,944 --> 00:57:47,671 like, my truest essence. Are they not enough?" 1231 00:57:47,809 --> 00:57:49,431 When all that support is pulled, 1232 00:57:49,569 --> 00:57:51,191 and when you feel that, it's like, okay, 1233 00:57:51,329 --> 00:57:53,055 all this abandonment is happening again, 1234 00:57:53,193 --> 00:57:54,505 like, what am I worth? 1235 00:57:57,094 --> 00:57:59,130 LINDA: I think she thought she was misunderstood. 1236 00:58:00,269 --> 00:58:01,892 At some point we all question any talent we've got 1237 00:58:02,030 --> 00:58:03,410 and think we suck. 1238 00:58:03,549 --> 00:58:04,826 I'm sure she went through plenty of that, 1239 00:58:04,964 --> 00:58:05,930 or she wouldn't be an artist. 1240 00:58:07,484 --> 00:58:08,554 INTERVIEWER: Did she know how great she was? 1241 00:58:08,692 --> 00:58:10,383 Yeah, oh, yes! 1242 00:58:10,521 --> 00:58:11,729 Yeah. 1243 00:58:14,180 --> 00:58:15,768 Yeah, I think that's part of the bitterness 1244 00:58:15,906 --> 00:58:18,322 was that she did know how great she was. 1245 00:58:19,910 --> 00:58:22,878 And to really not even get enough back 1246 00:58:23,016 --> 00:58:25,502 to barely be able to tour and make a living 1247 00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:27,158 was pretty tough for her to swallow. 1248 00:58:27,296 --> 00:58:28,815 INTERVIEWER: That is more likely 1249 00:58:28,953 --> 00:58:30,645 what happened with David Geffen. 1250 00:58:30,783 --> 00:58:32,716 - It is. - In her mind, 1251 00:58:32,854 --> 00:58:34,303 it was easier to... 1252 00:58:34,441 --> 00:58:35,546 Think it was his fault. 1253 00:58:36,892 --> 00:58:38,998 TOMMY: She felt that David wasn't 1254 00:58:39,136 --> 00:58:41,000 giving her all the attention. 1255 00:58:41,138 --> 00:58:42,726 It was all going to Joni Mitchell 1256 00:58:42,864 --> 00:58:45,694 and to the rest of his people that were signed. 1257 00:58:45,832 --> 00:58:46,902 And so she was kind of getting 1258 00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:48,455 a little angry about that. 1259 00:58:48,594 --> 00:58:52,080 And I think she, um, kind of blew it. 1260 00:58:52,218 --> 00:58:54,772 She badmouthed Geffen on stage, 1261 00:58:54,910 --> 00:58:56,256 was the story I heard. 1262 00:58:56,394 --> 00:58:57,534 I don't know, I wasn't there. 1263 00:58:57,672 --> 00:59:00,019 I had heard she had made some remark 1264 00:59:00,157 --> 00:59:02,677 about David Geffen's pink shoes. 1265 00:59:02,815 --> 00:59:06,370 Judee told me she called him a fat fag. 1266 00:59:06,508 --> 00:59:08,337 On stage. 1267 00:59:08,475 --> 00:59:09,925 RUSS: And all of a sudden, 1268 00:59:10,063 --> 00:59:12,065 she didn't have a deal anymore. 1269 00:59:14,102 --> 00:59:15,793 TOMMY: She couldn't believe it. 1270 00:59:15,931 --> 00:59:17,933 She went over to his house many times, 1271 00:59:18,071 --> 00:59:19,797 and he wouldn't answer the door. 1272 00:59:19,935 --> 00:59:24,284 And so she was very, very put down about that. 1273 00:59:24,422 --> 00:59:27,253 JACKSON: I can't imagine that Geffen would cut Judee 1274 00:59:27,391 --> 00:59:29,566 based on it not being a success. 1275 00:59:29,704 --> 00:59:32,569 That wasn't what that label was like in those days. 1276 00:59:32,707 --> 00:59:34,467 He didn't have much patience for people 1277 00:59:34,605 --> 00:59:36,089 if they were disloyal. 1278 00:59:36,227 --> 00:59:38,402 GRAHAM: I have seen that side of Judee, 1279 00:59:38,540 --> 00:59:40,300 and I have seen that side of David. 1280 00:59:40,438 --> 00:59:42,268 You know, when you own a record company, 1281 00:59:42,406 --> 00:59:44,097 and somebody pisses you off... 1282 00:59:45,236 --> 00:59:46,341 it's your label. 1283 00:59:48,412 --> 00:59:50,932 LINDA: Judee had a splendid gift. 1284 00:59:51,070 --> 00:59:55,005 She also was, unfortunately, vindictive. 1285 00:59:55,143 --> 00:59:57,455 And so when she perceived a slight, 1286 00:59:57,594 --> 00:59:58,974 she would go on the warpath, 1287 00:59:59,112 --> 01:00:00,493 as she did with David Geffen. 1288 01:00:00,631 --> 01:00:01,874 And she went to battle with him, and... 1289 01:00:03,116 --> 01:00:05,153 she lost. 1290 01:00:05,291 --> 01:00:06,464 INTERVIEWER: The things that some people have said 1291 01:00:06,603 --> 01:00:07,983 about her calling you 1292 01:00:08,121 --> 01:00:10,917 a derogatory name on a stage... 1293 01:00:11,055 --> 01:00:12,470 that doesn't ring true? 1294 01:00:12,609 --> 01:00:14,058 I-- absolutely not. 1295 01:00:15,819 --> 01:00:18,476 INTERVIEWER: I've also read 1296 01:00:18,615 --> 01:00:20,651 and heard people say that she camped out on your lawn 1297 01:00:20,789 --> 01:00:22,791 trying to apologize to you. 1298 01:00:22,929 --> 01:00:25,242 This is made-up stuff, it's just not true. 1299 01:00:25,380 --> 01:00:26,864 You know, she was dropped from the label 1300 01:00:27,002 --> 01:00:28,625 long after I was gone. 1301 01:00:28,763 --> 01:00:29,695 I didn't have a lawn, by the way. 1302 01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,631 All Judee ever got from me was acceptance... 1303 01:00:34,769 --> 01:00:36,874 support. 1304 01:00:37,012 --> 01:00:38,773 There is no way to explain these things. 1305 01:00:42,190 --> 01:00:44,364 The audience... 1306 01:00:44,502 --> 01:00:46,021 loves what the audience loves. 1307 01:00:48,541 --> 01:00:50,923 LINDA: There wasn't anybody out to get her. 1308 01:00:51,061 --> 01:00:53,891 She just didn't deliver the goods that would have 1309 01:00:54,029 --> 01:00:55,962 resonated in that culture at that time. 1310 01:00:57,205 --> 01:00:58,482 It's a shame. 1311 01:01:01,140 --> 01:01:02,589 GRAHAM: There are so many musicians 1312 01:01:02,728 --> 01:01:07,008 who are way more talented than I'll ever be. 1313 01:01:07,146 --> 01:01:09,631 And I often wonder, you know, "Why... 1314 01:01:09,769 --> 01:01:12,013 Why not them and why me?" 1315 01:01:12,151 --> 01:01:13,980 You know? I have a feeling that 1316 01:01:14,118 --> 01:01:16,017 the darker side of Judee's life was 1317 01:01:16,155 --> 01:01:17,950 what stopped her 1318 01:01:18,088 --> 01:01:21,091 going to whatever the next level was. 1319 01:01:23,438 --> 01:01:26,303 "JUDEE": I've been hanging out in the most decadent scene. 1320 01:01:26,441 --> 01:01:30,203 Cocaine, Percodan, grass to oblivion. 1321 01:01:30,341 --> 01:01:33,068 Last night, first two shows were great. 1322 01:01:33,206 --> 01:01:34,725 Then I was hanging out on a break 1323 01:01:34,863 --> 01:01:36,485 with Franken and Davis. 1324 01:01:36,623 --> 01:01:38,246 I'd given them codeine earlier. 1325 01:01:38,384 --> 01:01:40,627 We smoked some Colombian grass. 1326 01:01:40,766 --> 01:01:43,700 I was so bombed I blew the third show completely. 1327 01:01:43,838 --> 01:01:46,323 It was terrible, but funny after all. 1328 01:01:48,428 --> 01:01:51,604 I woke up this morning, knowing I should be alone. 1329 01:01:51,742 --> 01:01:53,779 You know when I'm really happy, don't you? 1330 01:01:53,917 --> 01:01:56,264 When I'm clearly and singularly feeling 1331 01:01:56,402 --> 01:01:58,611 the bond with God. 1332 01:01:58,749 --> 01:02:01,303 Let's get right again. I should practice. 1333 01:02:01,441 --> 01:02:03,581 I must write a new song as well. 1334 01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,101 New song, new view. 1335 01:02:08,241 --> 01:02:11,624 LINDA: I think she genuinely wanted to be a better person. 1336 01:02:11,762 --> 01:02:14,903 She was interested in Rosicrucianism, 1337 01:02:15,041 --> 01:02:16,215 and she thought that that might be a path 1338 01:02:16,353 --> 01:02:17,941 to helping her. 1339 01:02:18,079 --> 01:02:20,150 I think she wanted to have the drugs 1340 01:02:20,288 --> 01:02:22,911 and be a good person, you know? 1341 01:02:23,049 --> 01:02:24,464 But it wasn't gonna work like that, 1342 01:02:24,602 --> 01:02:26,466 bless her heart. 1343 01:02:26,604 --> 01:02:27,674 JUDEE: The Church of the Heart, 1344 01:02:27,813 --> 01:02:29,607 that's not a bad church. 1345 01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:31,092 No price, you don't have to put any money 1346 01:02:31,230 --> 01:02:32,196 in the collection plate, you can go any time 1347 01:02:32,334 --> 01:02:33,819 you want, day or night. 1348 01:02:33,957 --> 01:02:36,925 She just had her own unique visions 1349 01:02:37,063 --> 01:02:40,826 of... of God and spirituality. 1350 01:02:42,103 --> 01:02:45,451 And they also were very tied up with sexuality. 1351 01:02:45,589 --> 01:02:48,454 So you sort of didn't know which was which. 1352 01:02:48,592 --> 01:02:50,145 The two were fused for her. 1353 01:02:50,283 --> 01:02:53,942 She was looking for salvation and a romantic union. 1354 01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:56,393 And I think that she was also seeking salvation 1355 01:02:56,531 --> 01:02:58,360 through God, and she had the two 1356 01:02:58,498 --> 01:03:00,673 kind of melded together in a way. 1357 01:03:00,811 --> 01:03:03,124 MICHELE: She had this image that appeared 1358 01:03:03,262 --> 01:03:05,609 in different guises in many of her songs. 1359 01:03:05,816 --> 01:03:07,093 This loner, 1360 01:03:07,231 --> 01:03:09,820 sort of unattainable person. 1361 01:03:09,958 --> 01:03:12,754 And there was not much of a boundary 1362 01:03:12,892 --> 01:03:15,136 between that being Jesus 1363 01:03:15,274 --> 01:03:17,794 and that being the man that she was after. 1364 01:03:21,073 --> 01:03:22,660 UNROT: I had a sense that there was 1365 01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:25,249 a Svengali-like figure in her life, 1366 01:03:25,387 --> 01:03:27,873 giving her all the wrong advice. 1367 01:03:28,011 --> 01:03:30,220 But she was... 1368 01:03:30,358 --> 01:03:31,877 enraptured by it. 1369 01:03:32,118 --> 01:03:35,363 [vocalizing in harmony] 1370 01:03:35,501 --> 01:03:38,297 TOMMY: She says "Hey, I got a new boyfriend. 1371 01:03:38,435 --> 01:03:40,471 David Bearden, can I bring him over?" 1372 01:03:40,609 --> 01:03:41,783 And I said, "Sure, bring him over." 1373 01:03:41,921 --> 01:03:43,889 He played some harmonica. He was okay. 1374 01:03:44,027 --> 01:03:45,925 He was-- He was a decent person, 1375 01:03:46,063 --> 01:03:47,616 but he was, like, a-- you know, a different-- 1376 01:03:48,963 --> 01:03:51,241 uh, just a different, um... 1377 01:03:51,379 --> 01:03:53,450 he was more like a... a cowboy. 1378 01:03:55,693 --> 01:03:57,385 "JUDEE": David has developed a new persona. 1379 01:03:59,007 --> 01:04:01,009 It's sensitive and fine, and it grabs me 1380 01:04:01,147 --> 01:04:02,839 and makes me helplessly surrender. 1381 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:05,186 UNROT: I had a sense of foreboding 1382 01:04:05,324 --> 01:04:10,570 because she seemed to have given up 1383 01:04:10,708 --> 01:04:13,021 her individuality 1384 01:04:13,159 --> 01:04:16,024 to his influence, to his presence. 1385 01:04:19,062 --> 01:04:20,822 "JUDEE": My consciousness has sure changed 1386 01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:23,066 since I've been with David. 1387 01:04:23,204 --> 01:04:25,620 Please, let me be worthy of David's love. 1388 01:04:25,758 --> 01:04:27,864 Please, please let us grow from this purging. 1389 01:04:29,796 --> 01:04:32,627 I have nothing to offer except my love for you. 1390 01:04:35,768 --> 01:04:39,323 What the fuck happened? My soul is in jeopardy. 1391 01:04:39,461 --> 01:04:40,773 David thinks I'm a cold killer. 1392 01:04:40,911 --> 01:04:42,257 I'm crazy and everything I think, I doubt. 1393 01:04:42,395 --> 01:04:44,777 Our love, what happened? He says he's coming back 1394 01:04:44,915 --> 01:04:46,434 tonight or tomorrow to make a stand with me 1395 01:04:46,572 --> 01:04:48,229 to show how much he loves me. Oh, thank the Lord. 1396 01:04:48,367 --> 01:04:50,058 It got better, and then crasho, 1397 01:04:50,196 --> 01:04:51,611 he dropped the big one again. 1398 01:04:51,749 --> 01:04:53,544 He called me a whore, swinger, hippie superstar. 1399 01:04:53,682 --> 01:04:54,856 I hit him in the face. I'm broken. 1400 01:04:54,994 --> 01:04:56,340 A wretched piece of filth. 1401 01:04:56,478 --> 01:04:58,515 I'm fucked. David pukes over my past. 1402 01:04:58,653 --> 01:05:00,758 Dust filled my mouth. David, could you please 1403 01:05:00,897 --> 01:05:03,451 come and take care of me, protect me from all harm? 1404 01:05:03,589 --> 01:05:06,972 I'm in such bad trouble. You've changed me so much. 1405 01:05:07,110 --> 01:05:08,559 Is there any hope for me? 1406 01:05:11,562 --> 01:05:14,289 Dear David, you're right, 1407 01:05:14,427 --> 01:05:16,809 I'm too hideous to love. 1408 01:05:16,947 --> 01:05:18,328 I see that I'm either the worst thing 1409 01:05:18,466 --> 01:05:20,088 that ever lived, or if I somehow get 1410 01:05:20,226 --> 01:05:22,815 through this, I'll be a saint. 1411 01:05:22,953 --> 01:05:25,162 I prayed most fervently to be allowed 1412 01:05:25,300 --> 01:05:28,545 to be punished for real and be cast into the flames. 1413 01:05:28,683 --> 01:05:31,203 Me, the black widow killer, who kills Christ, 1414 01:05:31,341 --> 01:05:33,377 is Satan, is the beast, 1415 01:05:33,515 --> 01:05:35,345 is all evil rolled into one. 1416 01:05:36,794 --> 01:05:39,038 Today, I looked into my eyes in the rearview mirror, 1417 01:05:39,176 --> 01:05:41,351 and I saw you looking at me. 1418 01:05:41,489 --> 01:05:44,009 I don't want anything but you. 1419 01:05:44,147 --> 01:05:45,734 I'm yours forever, 1420 01:05:45,872 --> 01:05:47,046 whether you want me or not. 1421 01:05:57,194 --> 01:05:59,438 PLUMMER: Things could have really opened up for her... 1422 01:06:02,096 --> 01:06:04,270 but things went the way that they did. 1423 01:06:08,067 --> 01:06:12,244 Her injuries, of course, were catastrophic. 1424 01:06:12,382 --> 01:06:14,349 ART JOHNSON: Well, those of you who don't know, 1425 01:06:14,487 --> 01:06:17,318 Judee Sill was scheduled to do this appearance tonight, 1426 01:06:17,456 --> 01:06:20,528 but a series of auto accidents 1427 01:06:20,666 --> 01:06:22,668 and her neck being in traction prevented her 1428 01:06:22,806 --> 01:06:24,981 from sitting up here and singing her lovely songs. 1429 01:06:26,430 --> 01:06:27,811 So she called me up and asked me 1430 01:06:27,949 --> 01:06:29,916 if I would do it. And I immediately agreed. 1431 01:06:31,470 --> 01:06:33,955 So, as a tribute to her and for her, 1432 01:06:34,093 --> 01:06:35,992 if we can all possibly say a little silent prayer, 1433 01:06:36,130 --> 01:06:37,372 'cause she's in a little pain. 1434 01:06:37,510 --> 01:06:39,719 And I'm gonna sing a song of hers 1435 01:06:39,857 --> 01:06:42,722 that's one of my favorites, called "The Vigilante." 1436 01:06:42,860 --> 01:06:45,311 And we'll start it now. 1437 01:06:45,449 --> 01:06:47,244 Oh, great, a "Vigilante" fan. 1438 01:06:47,382 --> 01:06:50,385 [plucking strings] 1439 01:06:50,523 --> 01:06:52,525 JD SOUTHER: She got in the wreck in my car. 1440 01:06:52,663 --> 01:06:54,700 You know, I loaned her my Volkswagen Beetle 1441 01:06:54,838 --> 01:06:56,357 when I went on the road, and she got hit from the side, 1442 01:06:56,495 --> 01:06:59,222 and it reactivated an old back injury 1443 01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:01,741 which, uh... 1444 01:07:01,879 --> 01:07:03,467 put her back on pain pills again. 1445 01:07:03,605 --> 01:07:04,917 I know that the first accident was 1446 01:07:05,055 --> 01:07:07,471 an auto accident, and I've been told that 1447 01:07:07,609 --> 01:07:10,129 a boyfriend pushed her down the stairs. 1448 01:07:10,267 --> 01:07:12,062 The stairs involved David Bearden. 1449 01:07:13,546 --> 01:07:15,031 - INTERVIEWER: How? - RUSS: I think 1450 01:07:15,169 --> 01:07:17,067 he pushed her down the stairs drunk. 1451 01:07:19,656 --> 01:07:20,898 Since you're asking. 1452 01:07:23,591 --> 01:07:25,110 JIM BREDOUW: Because of her drug history 1453 01:07:25,248 --> 01:07:27,353 and her criminal record, they wouldn't give her 1454 01:07:27,491 --> 01:07:29,597 opiates, they wouldn't give her any serious 1455 01:07:29,735 --> 01:07:32,013 pain relief, she had to take aspirin and Tylenol. 1456 01:07:32,151 --> 01:07:34,567 And ironically she had to resort to... 1457 01:07:34,705 --> 01:07:36,742 much harder-core drugs to relieve the pain. 1458 01:07:38,744 --> 01:07:41,436 TOMMY: Every time she would be recuperated, 1459 01:07:41,574 --> 01:07:42,989 something would come up. 1460 01:07:43,128 --> 01:07:45,406 And when you're on those meds for so long, 1461 01:07:45,544 --> 01:07:47,408 it's very hard to get off of them. 1462 01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:52,551 "JUDEE": September 22nd, 1974. 1463 01:07:52,689 --> 01:07:55,795 I've been in the hospital for two weeks and two days. 1464 01:07:55,933 --> 01:07:58,971 I have five sprains, three in the sacrum area, 1465 01:07:59,109 --> 01:08:00,593 one between the wings, and one in the neck. 1466 01:08:00,731 --> 01:08:03,044 Also, most painful inflammation 1467 01:08:03,182 --> 01:08:06,012 around the six vertebrates and bottom six vertebrates. 1468 01:08:06,151 --> 01:08:08,325 Got a big shot of Demerol-- works okay. 1469 01:08:08,567 --> 01:08:09,913 I'm scared. 1470 01:08:10,051 --> 01:08:11,501 Doctor came in to hear my story, 1471 01:08:11,639 --> 01:08:14,366 how I got started on dope, my comeback: 1472 01:08:14,504 --> 01:08:16,885 "Courageous girl, with no family or friends, 1473 01:08:17,023 --> 01:08:18,784 "all alone, kicks habit, 1474 01:08:18,922 --> 01:08:21,752 is now top songwriter-singer of pop hymns." 1475 01:08:23,616 --> 01:08:26,032 Four months passed, painfully. 1476 01:08:27,413 --> 01:08:29,898 I'm in St. John's Hospital having my spine fused. 1477 01:08:30,036 --> 01:08:31,935 At 8:00 a.m., I had the Dilaudid 1478 01:08:32,073 --> 01:08:33,971 and morphine mixture and noticed my handwriting. 1479 01:08:34,110 --> 01:08:36,042 Second pain shot at 10:35. 1480 01:08:36,181 --> 01:08:38,044 That makes four hours and five minutes! 1481 01:08:38,183 --> 01:08:39,736 Now I'm utterly stoned. 1482 01:08:39,874 --> 01:08:41,220 Tonight, I took half a Quaalude, 1483 01:08:41,358 --> 01:08:42,739 half a Valium, two bombs, 1484 01:08:42,877 --> 01:08:44,844 one of their hospital sleepers, Dalmain, 1485 01:08:44,982 --> 01:08:46,225 and soon I'll get a pain shot, 1486 01:08:46,363 --> 01:08:48,227 do my nightly nod. Today I told the doc 1487 01:08:48,365 --> 01:08:50,747 I'd been an addict, he cut off my Demerol. 1488 01:08:50,885 --> 01:08:53,336 Taking supplemental Percs and Cods. 1489 01:08:53,474 --> 01:08:54,854 Help me to overcome, please. 1490 01:08:54,992 --> 01:08:57,857 Two bombs, 11:15, one bomb earlier. 1491 01:08:57,995 --> 01:09:00,066 Gotta stop this, I'm having a nervous breakdown. 1492 01:09:00,205 --> 01:09:01,930 Rick is coming over and also bringing 1493 01:09:02,068 --> 01:09:03,725 a liquid solution with appliance. 1494 01:09:03,863 --> 01:09:05,002 I hope this can be pulled off; 1495 01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:06,625 I don't want to be stuck empty-handed. 1496 01:09:06,763 --> 01:09:08,005 Thank you, dear God, 1497 01:09:08,144 --> 01:09:10,215 thank you dear Jesus and all helpers. 1498 01:09:10,353 --> 01:09:12,976 Until later, J.S. 1499 01:09:17,463 --> 01:09:18,671 VICKI: She had gotten an operation, 1500 01:09:18,809 --> 01:09:20,708 and she was in a cast for a long time, 1501 01:09:20,846 --> 01:09:22,192 as I remember. 1502 01:09:22,330 --> 01:09:25,230 It went from here to here, 1503 01:09:25,368 --> 01:09:27,853 you know, it covered her torso. 1504 01:09:27,991 --> 01:09:30,476 And I would be one of the people 1505 01:09:30,614 --> 01:09:33,410 who would help her physically do things. 1506 01:09:33,652 --> 01:09:35,240 But she never seemed 1507 01:09:35,378 --> 01:09:37,242 like she was self-pitying 1508 01:09:37,380 --> 01:09:40,176 or maudlin in any way. 1509 01:09:41,211 --> 01:09:43,731 It just seemed like she had accepted 1510 01:09:43,869 --> 01:09:45,733 what was happening, and she was gonna 1511 01:09:45,871 --> 01:09:47,217 move through it. 1512 01:09:48,391 --> 01:09:50,220 JD SOUTHER: You know, when people go through 1513 01:09:50,358 --> 01:09:52,395 as many things as Judee went through... 1514 01:09:53,396 --> 01:09:56,261 your survival mechanism is sorely tested, 1515 01:09:56,399 --> 01:09:58,470 over and over, you know? 1516 01:09:58,608 --> 01:10:01,749 And I think part of her technique for survival 1517 01:10:01,887 --> 01:10:03,751 was immersing herself in the music. 1518 01:10:05,753 --> 01:10:06,961 "JUDEE": Working on a new song, 1519 01:10:07,099 --> 01:10:08,756 "Dreams Come True." 1520 01:10:08,894 --> 01:10:10,689 Last night, I went to Linda Ronstadt's 1521 01:10:10,827 --> 01:10:12,518 recording session. 1522 01:10:12,656 --> 01:10:14,244 John David Souther was there 1523 01:10:14,382 --> 01:10:16,073 and was glad to see me. 1524 01:10:16,212 --> 01:10:18,075 He hugged me and kissed me. 1525 01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:19,836 A full circle has come around, 1526 01:10:19,974 --> 01:10:22,425 after all this time. 1527 01:10:22,563 --> 01:10:25,462 It hurts still, how sweet he was to me. 1528 01:10:25,600 --> 01:10:27,326 I cried so long. 1529 01:10:29,570 --> 01:10:32,020 TOMMY: She had her spine fused twice, 1530 01:10:32,158 --> 01:10:34,368 and they did a botched job. 1531 01:10:34,506 --> 01:10:36,301 But she still, you know, would pull out the guitar, 1532 01:10:36,439 --> 01:10:38,164 and we'd play some songs. 1533 01:10:38,303 --> 01:10:39,959 She was able to sit up and start functioning 1534 01:10:40,097 --> 01:10:41,996 and writing songs 1535 01:10:42,134 --> 01:10:43,756 and playing piano and guitar again. 1536 01:10:46,276 --> 01:10:49,175 So this session was called to demo, 1537 01:10:49,314 --> 01:10:52,317 these last eight songs. 1538 01:10:53,421 --> 01:10:56,666 TOMMY: When we did the "Dreams Come True" sessions, 1539 01:10:56,804 --> 01:10:58,702 all her friends got together, you know, 1540 01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:01,429 and she was very frail. 1541 01:11:01,567 --> 01:11:03,431 PLUMMER: I mean, I had to carry her literally 1542 01:11:03,569 --> 01:11:06,020 into the studio. 1543 01:11:06,158 --> 01:11:08,160 But when she sat down at that piano, 1544 01:11:08,298 --> 01:11:10,818 I had never heard a better performance from her. 1545 01:11:12,268 --> 01:11:13,648 TOMMY: The power that she produced 1546 01:11:13,786 --> 01:11:15,581 kind of amazed all of us. 1547 01:11:15,719 --> 01:11:18,170 She just opened up like... 1548 01:11:18,308 --> 01:11:19,551 like she was brand new. 1549 01:11:21,069 --> 01:11:23,175 ♪ We were lost almost ♪ 1550 01:11:23,313 --> 01:11:27,110 ♪ 2,000 years ♪ 1551 01:11:29,077 --> 01:11:30,976 ♪ Thinking someday ♪ 1552 01:11:31,114 --> 01:11:33,461 ♪ A sign might ♪ 1553 01:11:33,599 --> 01:11:38,535 ♪ Appear... ♪ 1554 01:11:38,673 --> 01:11:41,055 ♪ While love ♪ 1555 01:11:41,193 --> 01:11:44,300 ♪ Through the cloven sky ♪ 1556 01:11:44,438 --> 01:11:48,718 ♪ Peers ♪ 1557 01:11:48,856 --> 01:11:53,826 ♪ Over all we... ♪ 1558 01:11:53,964 --> 01:11:56,312 ♪ Do ♪ 1559 01:11:58,210 --> 01:12:02,663 ♪ Till dreams come ♪ 1560 01:12:02,801 --> 01:12:06,529 ♪ True ♪ 1561 01:12:06,667 --> 01:12:08,669 PLUMMER: She was just thrilled with it, you know. 1562 01:12:08,807 --> 01:12:10,843 And that was the main part, you know, 1563 01:12:10,981 --> 01:12:13,259 that she was so happy about it. 1564 01:12:13,398 --> 01:12:17,643 The fact that she had returned from her illness 1565 01:12:17,781 --> 01:12:19,852 and had come back with this strength. 1566 01:12:19,990 --> 01:12:21,544 I mean, it was a spiritual strength 1567 01:12:21,682 --> 01:12:23,304 that you felt from her. 1568 01:12:24,409 --> 01:12:27,204 At that point, we mixed those tapes down, 1569 01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:31,001 and we made the presentation not only to Asylum, 1570 01:12:31,139 --> 01:12:32,900 but to Clive Davis 1571 01:12:33,038 --> 01:12:35,385 and several other labels. 1572 01:12:35,523 --> 01:12:37,663 With no success. 1573 01:12:40,494 --> 01:12:44,739 ALAN ROCKMAN: I was in the lobby of Electra-Asylum. 1574 01:12:44,877 --> 01:12:49,088 This waif of a young woman came in the lobby doors. 1575 01:12:49,226 --> 01:12:50,987 And I said, "I've heard of you. 1576 01:12:51,125 --> 01:12:53,092 "I'm a big fan of The Hollies, 1577 01:12:53,230 --> 01:12:56,406 and you wrote 'Jesus Was a Cross Maker.'" 1578 01:12:56,544 --> 01:12:59,444 And she said, "What good did that do me? 1579 01:12:59,582 --> 01:13:01,825 "The label is dropping me. 1580 01:13:01,963 --> 01:13:06,209 I'm here to get my records from them." 1581 01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:08,453 It was just... 1582 01:13:08,591 --> 01:13:11,766 "I'm unhappy, I don't know what's next." 1583 01:13:15,252 --> 01:13:18,290 "JUDEE": July 11th, 1975. 1584 01:13:18,428 --> 01:13:20,396 I'm strung out on heroin. 1585 01:13:20,534 --> 01:13:22,743 I'm fucked after two operations, 1586 01:13:22,881 --> 01:13:24,469 the last one taking out six discs, 1587 01:13:24,607 --> 01:13:26,332 sawed the right side of sacrum, 1588 01:13:26,471 --> 01:13:28,507 pulverized it, molded with my spine. 1589 01:13:28,645 --> 01:13:30,958 Now I'm strung out again, but this time on dope. 1590 01:13:31,096 --> 01:13:33,581 Real dope. Scary. 1591 01:13:33,719 --> 01:13:35,790 Day after tomorrow, I leave for Seattle 1592 01:13:35,928 --> 01:13:37,654 to kick at Jim Bredouw's house. 1593 01:13:37,792 --> 01:13:39,967 I'm scared of this ordeal. 1594 01:13:40,105 --> 01:13:41,900 God help me, I'm in your hands. 1595 01:13:43,211 --> 01:13:45,075 BREDOUW: I was an apprentice 1596 01:13:45,213 --> 01:13:46,698 recording engineer at a little studio 1597 01:13:46,836 --> 01:13:48,424 on Capitol Hill in Seattle. 1598 01:13:48,562 --> 01:13:50,598 And one night, I got it in my head 1599 01:13:50,736 --> 01:13:54,637 to just call information in Hollywood generically 1600 01:13:54,775 --> 01:13:56,846 and see if they had Judee's phone number. 1601 01:13:56,984 --> 01:13:58,468 And she hadn't had a record out 1602 01:13:58,606 --> 01:14:00,677 in a couple, three years, and I wanted to ask her why. 1603 01:14:00,815 --> 01:14:03,680 And I called information, they had her number. 1604 01:14:03,818 --> 01:14:06,511 So I called her on the phone, and she answered, 1605 01:14:06,649 --> 01:14:09,548 and I told her who I was, and she started to cry. 1606 01:14:09,686 --> 01:14:11,654 She came back on the phone, composed herself, 1607 01:14:11,792 --> 01:14:13,621 and said I was only the second person 1608 01:14:13,759 --> 01:14:16,486 who had ever called her cold 1609 01:14:16,624 --> 01:14:19,316 to tell her that they liked her music, 1610 01:14:19,455 --> 01:14:21,077 and that she was in kind of a bad place, 1611 01:14:21,215 --> 01:14:23,838 and it was good timing. 1612 01:14:23,976 --> 01:14:25,668 And then about six weeks later, 1613 01:14:25,806 --> 01:14:28,533 to my complete surprise, she called, 1614 01:14:28,671 --> 01:14:31,846 and she asked if she could come visit. 1615 01:14:31,984 --> 01:14:36,057 And I said, "Sure, I guess so." 1616 01:14:36,195 --> 01:14:38,335 She stayed with us for four days, 1617 01:14:38,474 --> 01:14:40,337 seemed to have the flu 1618 01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:42,823 and was in her pajamas the whole time. 1619 01:14:42,961 --> 01:14:44,341 We'd have dinner, she'd come out, 1620 01:14:44,480 --> 01:14:45,653 and we'd play a little music together, 1621 01:14:45,791 --> 01:14:47,483 and... we'd talk, 1622 01:14:47,621 --> 01:14:51,556 but in the most part, she was... in the bedroom, 1623 01:14:51,694 --> 01:14:54,869 which struck me as odd but... was okay with me. 1624 01:14:55,076 --> 01:14:56,284 I didn't know rock stars, 1625 01:14:56,422 --> 01:14:57,665 I thought maybe that's what they do. 1626 01:14:57,803 --> 01:14:59,322 He didn't even know what was going on. 1627 01:15:00,565 --> 01:15:01,945 And then at some point, 1628 01:15:02,083 --> 01:15:03,740 I think Russell went out and picked her up 1629 01:15:03,878 --> 01:15:05,397 and brought her home. 1630 01:15:06,432 --> 01:15:08,780 "JUDEE": It's now August 29th, 1975. 1631 01:15:08,918 --> 01:15:11,265 I kicked in Seattle, then got strung out again. 1632 01:15:11,403 --> 01:15:13,060 All is lost, beyond help. 1633 01:15:13,198 --> 01:15:15,856 Back into junkie-dom, heavily. 1634 01:15:15,994 --> 01:15:18,790 Is there any hope for me if I don't believe there is? 1635 01:15:18,928 --> 01:15:22,138 Only a minuscule part believes or remembers at all. 1636 01:15:24,071 --> 01:15:25,417 TOMMY: She was in constant pain, 1637 01:15:25,555 --> 01:15:27,453 all the time. 1638 01:15:27,592 --> 01:15:30,422 That will drain anybody out of any energies 1639 01:15:30,560 --> 01:15:32,217 going out looking for another deal, 1640 01:15:32,355 --> 01:15:33,252 or anything like that. 1641 01:15:34,668 --> 01:15:35,945 So, she just kind of let it go 1642 01:15:36,083 --> 01:15:37,878 and just started traveling around, 1643 01:15:38,016 --> 01:15:39,189 you know, when she could. 1644 01:15:40,881 --> 01:15:44,022 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 1645 01:15:44,160 --> 01:15:49,061 ♪ And the fires were roarin' ♪ 1646 01:15:49,199 --> 01:15:53,825 ♪ Stars aligned, and the webs were spun ♪ 1647 01:15:53,963 --> 01:15:56,310 ♪ I coulda sworn I heard ♪ 1648 01:15:56,448 --> 01:16:00,107 ♪ My spirit soarin' ♪ 1649 01:16:01,729 --> 01:16:04,456 ♪ Chasin' the sun ♪ 1650 01:16:04,594 --> 01:16:07,183 ♪ Hopin' we will soon be one ♪ 1651 01:16:07,321 --> 01:16:10,289 ♪ Until it turns around to me ♪ 1652 01:16:10,427 --> 01:16:12,153 ♪ Then I try to run ♪ 1653 01:16:20,437 --> 01:16:22,405 LINDA: It was hard to learn her songs 1654 01:16:22,543 --> 01:16:24,131 and sing them in her style, 1655 01:16:24,269 --> 01:16:25,546 unless you had the key to Judee Sill 1656 01:16:25,684 --> 01:16:27,168 and the way she phrased. 1657 01:16:27,306 --> 01:16:29,757 I hired her to play on the recording 1658 01:16:29,895 --> 01:16:31,794 that I made of "Jesus Was a Cross Maker," 1659 01:16:31,932 --> 01:16:33,519 which I called "Bandit & a Heartbreaker." 1660 01:16:33,658 --> 01:16:35,936 I thought that was a really good song. 1661 01:16:36,074 --> 01:16:37,454 But poor Judee, unfortunately, 1662 01:16:37,593 --> 01:16:39,146 was way back into drugs by then, 1663 01:16:39,284 --> 01:16:40,699 and she just couldn't handle it 1664 01:16:40,837 --> 01:16:42,011 in the room, I was afraid she was gonna 1665 01:16:42,149 --> 01:16:43,771 fall off her chair and hurt herself. 1666 01:16:43,909 --> 01:16:45,324 Everybody else was embarrassed for her, 1667 01:16:45,462 --> 01:16:46,809 but we didn't know what to do, 1668 01:16:46,947 --> 01:16:48,431 and we couldn't do it without her, and... 1669 01:16:48,569 --> 01:16:50,088 so we finally went to another song. 1670 01:16:52,815 --> 01:16:54,402 It was horribly disappointing for us, 1671 01:16:54,540 --> 01:16:57,302 for the rest of us, and, you know, it's just sad. 1672 01:16:57,440 --> 01:16:59,097 We all knew what a talent she was. 1673 01:17:01,927 --> 01:17:04,447 JUDEE: So, moving right along here... 1674 01:17:04,585 --> 01:17:06,691 [chuckling] 1675 01:17:06,829 --> 01:17:08,520 ...would anyone like to say anything 1676 01:17:08,658 --> 01:17:10,695 that maybe would bring some comfort 1677 01:17:10,833 --> 01:17:13,836 to anyone listening out there that feels like 1678 01:17:13,974 --> 01:17:15,907 it's pretty desolate, and the desolation comes 1679 01:17:16,045 --> 01:17:18,357 crushing down on them in the early morning? 1680 01:17:18,495 --> 01:17:21,637 Ooh... waking up on a bummer. 1681 01:17:22,707 --> 01:17:26,469 ♪ 1682 01:17:26,607 --> 01:17:29,541 UNROT: Sometimes you can see a person in distress 1683 01:17:29,679 --> 01:17:31,785 and know that they've lost somebody they love 1684 01:17:31,923 --> 01:17:34,063 or failed in some way, 1685 01:17:34,201 --> 01:17:36,859 but with Judee, it was more ephemeral than that. 1686 01:17:36,997 --> 01:17:39,378 I mean, it was just... [sighing] 1687 01:17:39,516 --> 01:17:41,380 ...it was just something that 1688 01:17:41,518 --> 01:17:43,831 enveloped her... 1689 01:17:43,969 --> 01:17:46,178 and... 1690 01:17:46,316 --> 01:17:48,353 never went away. 1691 01:17:48,594 --> 01:17:51,149 This music was so great. 1692 01:17:51,287 --> 01:17:54,048 Why didn't that feed her? Why didn't that fulfill her? 1693 01:17:54,186 --> 01:17:56,430 "Heart Food," exactly what it is. 1694 01:17:56,568 --> 01:17:58,915 Why didn't that nourish her and keep her? 1695 01:18:00,158 --> 01:18:02,954 SHAWN: She struggles with the good and evil, 1696 01:18:03,092 --> 01:18:04,714 you know, it's in almost everything 1697 01:18:04,852 --> 01:18:06,440 that that she writes. 1698 01:18:06,578 --> 01:18:09,063 "I could have sworn I heard my spirit soaring, 1699 01:18:09,201 --> 01:18:11,238 "and I'm chasing the sun, hopin' we will soon be one, 1700 01:18:11,376 --> 01:18:13,136 then it turns around to me, and I try to run." 1701 01:18:13,274 --> 01:18:15,242 It's just always this dichotomy, 1702 01:18:15,380 --> 01:18:17,727 and I think it's what we all do. 1703 01:18:17,865 --> 01:18:19,764 It's not absolute, 1704 01:18:19,902 --> 01:18:21,800 we don't have absolute confidence, 1705 01:18:21,938 --> 01:18:24,251 we're not exactly sure what's good 1706 01:18:24,389 --> 01:18:26,253 and what's evil, really. 1707 01:18:26,391 --> 01:18:30,844 And... it's just beautiful, you know? 1708 01:18:30,982 --> 01:18:34,295 JUDEE: Uh, I think it's neat that 1709 01:18:34,433 --> 01:18:37,022 of all of these religions we're thinking about, 1710 01:18:37,160 --> 01:18:39,853 that we all agree on certain points like... 1711 01:18:41,578 --> 01:18:43,926 "one day all tears will be wiped away" 1712 01:18:44,064 --> 01:18:47,688 and, and... 1713 01:18:47,826 --> 01:18:49,379 that's my favorite one. 1714 01:19:02,254 --> 01:19:04,636 JD SOUTHER: I tried a couple of times to contact her 1715 01:19:04,774 --> 01:19:06,811 because I had heard she wasn't doing that great. 1716 01:19:07,950 --> 01:19:10,366 And my friend, Russ Giguere, just insisted, 1717 01:19:10,504 --> 01:19:12,023 he just went to her house, 1718 01:19:12,161 --> 01:19:13,645 he got her address and went there, and... 1719 01:19:13,783 --> 01:19:15,681 I said, "How is she?" 1720 01:19:15,820 --> 01:19:18,477 And he goes, "It's dark there, you don't want to go. 1721 01:19:18,615 --> 01:19:20,169 "She doesn't want you to see her this way. 1722 01:19:20,410 --> 01:19:22,136 "She just doesn't go out. 1723 01:19:22,274 --> 01:19:24,138 "Curtains are drawn. It's dark in there. 1724 01:19:25,588 --> 01:19:27,624 And she is very much alone." 1725 01:19:29,799 --> 01:19:32,077 [soft crooning] 1726 01:19:32,215 --> 01:19:35,909 "JUDEE": October 18th, 1979. 1727 01:19:36,047 --> 01:19:38,290 Will I get high tonight? 1728 01:19:38,428 --> 01:19:39,809 We shall see. 1729 01:19:41,707 --> 01:19:43,261 You see, I am a drug addict, 1730 01:19:43,399 --> 01:19:45,435 a wrong-hearted, lost soul who has chosen 1731 01:19:45,573 --> 01:19:47,644 the wrong path, I beseech thy help, 1732 01:19:47,783 --> 01:19:50,509 for I am in the clutches of the beast, 666. 1733 01:19:50,647 --> 01:19:51,787 This is your last test, 1734 01:19:51,925 --> 01:19:53,202 and you really know it, don't you? 1735 01:19:53,340 --> 01:19:55,721 Write songs, don't run from pain. 1736 01:19:55,860 --> 01:19:58,863 Acute sensitivity means better chance to help others. 1737 01:19:59,001 --> 01:20:00,209 Do you ever feel like there's been 1738 01:20:00,347 --> 01:20:01,935 a terrible karmic mistake made somewhere, 1739 01:20:02,073 --> 01:20:04,006 and you were meant for a life not wholly consumed 1740 01:20:04,144 --> 01:20:06,525 by abject desolation? Now, can I write songs? 1741 01:20:06,663 --> 01:20:08,700 Remember the vision on the ceiling the other night? 1742 01:20:08,838 --> 01:20:10,357 Was it true, or did Satan send it? 1743 01:20:10,495 --> 01:20:12,393 Perfect Mary, have mercy on my wayward, 1744 01:20:12,531 --> 01:20:13,878 lost, sad soul. 1745 01:20:14,016 --> 01:20:15,258 I gotta figure out why it is 1746 01:20:15,396 --> 01:20:16,881 that I want to die. God help me, 1747 01:20:17,019 --> 01:20:18,710 if I don't, I'll go down bad. 1748 01:20:18,848 --> 01:20:20,677 Please, please, don't let me go down bad. 1749 01:20:20,816 --> 01:20:22,541 Stay with me, please, come on, please, 1750 01:20:22,679 --> 01:20:24,405 we're here in this together, aren't we? 1751 01:20:24,647 --> 01:20:26,649 Or am I alone? 1752 01:20:26,787 --> 01:20:29,031 I am a hopeless case. 1753 01:20:29,169 --> 01:20:31,688 JUDEE: ♪ That even shadows come ♪ 1754 01:20:31,827 --> 01:20:35,485 ♪ And hum the requiem ♪ 1755 01:20:35,623 --> 01:20:40,456 ♪ Kyrie ♪ 1756 01:20:40,594 --> 01:20:45,012 ♪ Eleison ♪ 1757 01:20:56,817 --> 01:20:59,716 TOMMY: A week before Thanksgiving, 1758 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:02,305 Judy Taylor called me, and she was very worried 1759 01:21:02,443 --> 01:21:05,826 that Judee was maybe OD-ing, you know, 1760 01:21:05,964 --> 01:21:09,623 I was meditating on her and-- and what was going on. 1761 01:21:09,761 --> 01:21:12,039 And the next morning, Judy Taylor calls me and says, 1762 01:21:12,177 --> 01:21:13,696 "Oh, here's somebody wants to talk to you." 1763 01:21:13,834 --> 01:21:15,077 And Judee, she was just lively-- 1764 01:21:15,215 --> 01:21:17,493 "Oh, yeah, yeah. I was-- I was on my way, 1765 01:21:17,631 --> 01:21:19,115 "and I saw the white light, 1766 01:21:19,253 --> 01:21:21,635 "and then I saw you behind me calling me back. 1767 01:21:21,773 --> 01:21:23,395 And so I came back!" It was so-- 1768 01:21:23,533 --> 01:21:25,915 and she was so invigorating. 1769 01:21:26,053 --> 01:21:28,607 I mean, just so enlightened, she seemed. 1770 01:21:28,745 --> 01:21:31,300 And so we made a date to go out that following week. 1771 01:21:31,438 --> 01:21:34,406 And we went out, and she was just lively, full of life. 1772 01:21:34,544 --> 01:21:38,065 We had a great time. It's just like old times. 1773 01:21:38,203 --> 01:21:41,379 And then two days later, she was gone. 1774 01:21:44,209 --> 01:21:46,073 JUDEE: You know what they say, according to the-- 1775 01:21:46,211 --> 01:21:47,661 some of these mystical texts, 1776 01:21:47,799 --> 01:21:49,456 you know, if you die in an accident 1777 01:21:49,594 --> 01:21:51,803 or violently or while you're under the influence 1778 01:21:51,941 --> 01:21:53,115 of an opiate, which is the worst, you know, 1779 01:21:53,253 --> 01:21:54,737 because an opiate is like the devil, 1780 01:21:54,875 --> 01:21:56,635 it's the beast, you know? 1781 01:21:56,773 --> 01:21:59,121 Then you will die improperly, and you'll have to wait. 1782 01:21:59,259 --> 01:22:00,881 What's... the worst part of that is, is that 1783 01:22:01,019 --> 01:22:02,400 it's boring, you'll be bored 1784 01:22:02,538 --> 01:22:04,850 for maybe 100 years, waiting. 1785 01:22:04,989 --> 01:22:06,128 That's what they say, you know. 1786 01:22:07,957 --> 01:22:10,201 To me, it was an accident. 1787 01:22:10,339 --> 01:22:11,685 Because that was Judee's style, 1788 01:22:11,823 --> 01:22:14,481 to take it to the very edge. 1789 01:22:14,619 --> 01:22:16,172 But this time she went over. 1790 01:22:18,761 --> 01:22:21,384 DONNA: I went to her memorial service, 1791 01:22:21,522 --> 01:22:24,870 and this man said, 1792 01:22:25,009 --> 01:22:27,390 "I don't believe that your Aunt Judee 1793 01:22:27,528 --> 01:22:29,565 "committed suicide, and I don't want you 1794 01:22:29,703 --> 01:22:31,981 to believe that she committed suicide." 1795 01:22:32,119 --> 01:22:35,778 He said, "You know, she's a musical genius, 1796 01:22:35,916 --> 01:22:38,160 and please don't let her music die." 1797 01:22:44,304 --> 01:22:47,203 [continues plucking] 1798 01:22:47,341 --> 01:22:49,861 ♪ The sun was red ♪ 1799 01:22:49,999 --> 01:22:54,831 ♪ And the fires were roarin' ♪ 1800 01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:59,457 ♪ Stars aligned, and the webs were spun ♪ 1801 01:22:59,595 --> 01:23:01,838 ♪ I coulda sworn I heard ♪ 1802 01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:05,842 ♪ My spirit soarin' ♪ 1803 01:23:05,981 --> 01:23:09,432 ♪ Guess I'm always chasin' the sun ♪ 1804 01:23:09,570 --> 01:23:12,504 ♪ Hopin' we will soon be one ♪ 1805 01:23:12,642 --> 01:23:15,231 ♪ Until it turns around to me ♪ 1806 01:23:15,369 --> 01:23:17,716 ♪ Then I try to run ♪ 1807 01:23:19,546 --> 01:23:23,377 My big disappointment in her death was quite selfish. 1808 01:23:23,515 --> 01:23:25,517 I looked forward to growing old with her 1809 01:23:25,655 --> 01:23:28,934 because she was just so funny and so talented 1810 01:23:29,073 --> 01:23:30,798 and just such a wonderful person. 1811 01:23:30,936 --> 01:23:34,216 So, her death just took me completely by surprise 1812 01:23:34,354 --> 01:23:36,908 and just... 1813 01:23:37,046 --> 01:23:39,221 you know, left a big hole in my heart. 1814 01:23:40,843 --> 01:23:42,327 This was very difficult for me 1815 01:23:42,465 --> 01:23:45,123 to handle at that time. 1816 01:23:45,261 --> 01:23:47,746 And still even thinking about it is very difficult, 1817 01:23:47,884 --> 01:23:50,197 to think that she's gone. 1818 01:23:50,335 --> 01:23:51,509 You know, all through my life-- 1819 01:23:51,647 --> 01:23:53,718 just the greatest friend. 1820 01:23:53,856 --> 01:23:55,271 I loved her. I loved her music. 1821 01:23:55,409 --> 01:23:56,893 I still enjoy it. 1822 01:23:57,032 --> 01:23:59,206 I listen to it once in a while. 1823 01:23:59,344 --> 01:24:01,588 LINDA: You know, if Judee were here today, 1824 01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:03,210 I would hope that we would still be friends. 1825 01:24:03,348 --> 01:24:05,040 I'm still really good friends with JD. 1826 01:24:06,075 --> 01:24:07,525 I really did like her, you know. 1827 01:24:07,663 --> 01:24:08,940 Whether it was returned or not, I'll never know-- 1828 01:24:09,078 --> 01:24:10,321 she was a mysterious person. 1829 01:24:10,459 --> 01:24:11,805 But I really cared for her a lot. 1830 01:24:16,879 --> 01:24:19,882 ♪ And even now I wonder ♪ 1831 01:24:20,020 --> 01:24:22,988 ♪ Where I'm goin' ♪ 1832 01:24:23,127 --> 01:24:26,785 ♪ Ever since a long time ago ♪ 1833 01:24:26,923 --> 01:24:29,788 ♪ I've tried to let my feelings show ♪ 1834 01:24:29,926 --> 01:24:32,791 ♪ I'd like to think I'm bein' sincere ♪ 1835 01:24:32,929 --> 01:24:35,622 ♪ But I'll never know ♪ 1836 01:24:48,876 --> 01:24:51,224 You have to be grateful for what you get in this life. 1837 01:24:51,362 --> 01:24:53,847 And... we got, uh... 1838 01:24:54,917 --> 01:24:56,884 we got a fair amount of Judee Sill. 1839 01:24:57,022 --> 01:25:01,268 ♪ ...breath touchin' me ♪ 1840 01:25:01,406 --> 01:25:03,443 ♪ Like... ♪ 1841 01:25:03,581 --> 01:25:05,238 TOMMY: I think she's much more popular now 1842 01:25:05,376 --> 01:25:07,826 than she was when she was alive. 1843 01:25:07,964 --> 01:25:09,759 And people are getting it now. 1844 01:25:09,897 --> 01:25:12,693 They seem to get it and appreciate it. 1845 01:25:12,831 --> 01:25:18,527 ♪ ...communion of the kiss ♪ 1846 01:25:18,665 --> 01:25:20,460 [cheering and applause] 1847 01:25:20,598 --> 01:25:22,151 Thank you. 1848 01:25:22,289 --> 01:25:23,808 [soft guitar music] 1849 01:25:30,711 --> 01:25:33,680 NATALIE: We're talking, you know, 50 years later, 1850 01:25:33,818 --> 01:25:36,959 and still young kids are listening to those records 1851 01:25:37,097 --> 01:25:39,686 and being like, "What is this?" 1852 01:25:39,824 --> 01:25:41,826 BUCK: When work is as true as hers, 1853 01:25:41,964 --> 01:25:44,104 it will find people. 1854 01:25:44,242 --> 01:25:46,175 It may take time, but it will inevitably 1855 01:25:46,313 --> 01:25:48,626 find people. 1856 01:25:49,765 --> 01:25:53,458 I adapted this from the notes of the last song Judee wrote, 1857 01:25:53,596 --> 01:25:55,495 just a few weeks before she passed away, I believe. 1858 01:25:55,633 --> 01:25:57,186 And I'm still working on it. Like, it felt like it was 1859 01:25:57,324 --> 01:25:59,464 all there on the page, but it wasn't yet 1860 01:25:59,602 --> 01:26:02,087 organized into song form. 1861 01:26:02,226 --> 01:26:05,505 And... was this the guitar that she recorded with? 1862 01:26:05,643 --> 01:26:06,816 Wow. 1863 01:26:08,093 --> 01:26:10,544 It seems that she was so driven 1864 01:26:10,682 --> 01:26:15,446 to gift humanity with songs that had healing power. 1865 01:26:15,584 --> 01:26:18,449 I guess I feel a responsibility 1866 01:26:18,587 --> 01:26:22,556 to continue bringing those songs to the world. 1867 01:26:22,694 --> 01:26:24,627 'Cause it's all there, she's still alive in them, 1868 01:26:24,765 --> 01:26:26,595 and all that wisdom is still alive. 1869 01:26:28,493 --> 01:26:30,909 ADRIANNE: Anyone who needs to at any time can 1870 01:26:31,047 --> 01:26:34,050 listen to her music, and there's some articulation 1871 01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:35,914 for a feeling that is 1872 01:26:36,156 --> 01:26:38,262 so hard to articulate. 1873 01:26:39,332 --> 01:26:42,266 That feels like a gift that she gave. 1874 01:26:44,233 --> 01:26:45,683 JUDEE: Knowing all the things I know, 1875 01:26:45,821 --> 01:26:47,926 knowing the laws of karma, 1876 01:26:48,064 --> 01:26:49,376 that's the only way I'm going to get anything 1877 01:26:49,514 --> 01:26:51,067 is by doing something for somebody. 1878 01:26:51,206 --> 01:26:53,035 I want to do something that will improve humanity. 1879 01:26:54,209 --> 01:26:55,727 I want to do good. 1880 01:26:55,865 --> 01:26:58,074 I want to fight the good fight. 1881 01:26:58,213 --> 01:27:00,249 I want to inspire people and uplift them 1882 01:27:00,387 --> 01:27:01,492 without them knowing it. 1883 01:27:02,941 --> 01:27:04,391 That's what I want to do. 1884 01:27:07,394 --> 01:27:12,399 JUDEE: ♪ So keep on moving ♪ 1885 01:27:12,537 --> 01:27:16,507 ♪ Or stay by my side ♪ 1886 01:27:16,645 --> 01:27:21,132 ♪ Either way ♪ 1887 01:27:21,270 --> 01:27:24,860 ♪ I'll tell you a secret ♪ 1888 01:27:24,998 --> 01:27:28,484 ♪ I've never revealed ♪ 1889 01:27:28,622 --> 01:27:32,764 ♪ However we are ♪ 1890 01:27:32,902 --> 01:27:38,494 ♪ Is okay ♪ 1891 01:27:41,394 --> 01:27:43,637 - Bye! - [laughing] 1892 01:27:43,775 --> 01:27:45,467 [laughter] 1893 01:27:46,744 --> 01:27:49,574 [piano playing] 1894 01:28:13,391 --> 01:28:16,256 [piano playing continues] 1895 01:28:23,470 --> 01:28:26,853 ♪ If I told you some secrets ♪ 1896 01:28:26,991 --> 01:28:29,649 ♪ Would you say I'm unreal ♪ 1897 01:28:29,787 --> 01:28:32,376 ♪ I could easily love you ♪ 1898 01:28:32,514 --> 01:28:34,032 ♪ If you'd just let me feel ♪ 1899 01:28:35,448 --> 01:28:38,243 ♪ I can't play forever ♪ 1900 01:28:38,382 --> 01:28:40,556 ♪ The games I've outgrown ♪ 1901 01:28:40,694 --> 01:28:43,214 ♪ But just till enchanted sky machines ♪ 1902 01:28:43,352 --> 01:28:45,837 ♪ Take all the gentle home ♪ 1903 01:28:52,154 --> 01:28:55,157 ♪ Just needin' to touch you ♪ 1904 01:28:55,295 --> 01:28:58,194 ♪ Is so hard to restrain ♪ 1905 01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:00,542 ♪ Just waitin' for the time ♪ 1906 01:29:00,680 --> 01:29:03,579 ♪ Could maybe make me insane ♪ 1907 01:29:03,717 --> 01:29:06,651 ♪ My heart is so hungry ♪ 1908 01:29:06,789 --> 01:29:09,067 ♪ Livin' on patience alone ♪ 1909 01:29:09,205 --> 01:29:11,863 ♪ Please hurry, enchanted sky machines ♪ 1910 01:29:12,001 --> 01:29:14,210 ♪ Take all the gentle home ♪ 1911 01:29:21,010 --> 01:29:23,772 ♪ I believe the beginning ♪ 1912 01:29:23,910 --> 01:29:26,878 ♪ Won't be too far away ♪ 1913 01:29:27,016 --> 01:29:29,433 ♪ The power's gettin' stronger ♪ 1914 01:29:29,571 --> 01:29:32,367 ♪ I see signs every day ♪ 1915 01:29:32,505 --> 01:29:35,266 ♪ So I'll swallow my yearnin' ♪ 1916 01:29:35,404 --> 01:29:37,786 ♪ And won't let it be shown ♪ 1917 01:29:37,924 --> 01:29:40,305 ♪ Until the enchanted sky machines ♪ 1918 01:29:40,444 --> 01:29:42,929 ♪ Take all the gentle home ♪ 1919 01:29:43,067 --> 01:29:44,931 [piano playing] 1920 01:30:10,922 --> 01:30:13,546 ♪ My desire is a rosebud ♪ 1921 01:30:13,684 --> 01:30:16,790 ♪ In the magic design ♪ 1922 01:30:16,928 --> 01:30:18,930 ♪ I can't wait to feel it bloom ♪ 1923 01:30:19,068 --> 01:30:22,278 ♪ They'll be landin' anytime ♪ 1924 01:30:22,417 --> 01:30:25,178 ♪ Then when the skeptics are wonderin'♪ 1925 01:30:25,316 --> 01:30:27,870 ♪ Where all the faithful have flown ♪ 1926 01:30:28,008 --> 01:30:30,528 ♪ We'll be on enchanted sky machines ♪ 1927 01:30:30,666 --> 01:30:33,220 ♪ The gentle are goin' home ♪ 1928 01:30:33,358 --> 01:30:36,154 ♪ We'll be on enchanted sky machines ♪ 1929 01:30:36,292 --> 01:30:39,537 ♪ The gentle are goin' home ♪ 1930 01:30:39,675 --> 01:30:41,505 [piano playing] 1931 01:30:48,304 --> 01:30:50,168 [piano playing continues] 1932 01:31:00,765 --> 01:31:02,664 [piano outro] 1933 01:31:05,460 --> 01:31:08,324 [audience applause] 1934 01:31:20,095 --> 01:31:22,753 Ahh, excelsior, onward and upward.