WEBVTT 1 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,047 . 2 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,136 - First order of business-- 3 00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:08,269 another foot was found in the parking lot. 4 00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,793 - Wow. It's so weird seeing you as the manager. 5 00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:13,013 It's like that one time my math teacher 6 00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,666 became my stepdad for a little bit. 7 00:00:14,710 --> 00:00:16,059 Like, what? 8 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,843 - It's a big change. Must be weird. 9 00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:20,759 Anyway, this foot had the number eight written on it, 10 00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,544 which is concerning because we've only found 11 00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:24,720 two other feet, so keep your eyes open. 12 00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,156 - Sorry. Sorry I'm late. 13 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,853 The baby was throwing up all night, 14 00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:30,160 but the doctor said it's probably 'cause I just gave her 15 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,989 part of my buffalo chicken wrap, you know? 16 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,470 Okay, uh, let's get down to business. 17 00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:37,037 - Uh, Glenn? - Mm-hmm. 18 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,169 - Yeah. You're not manager anymore. 19 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:42,564 - Oh. Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry. 20 00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:45,045 After 30 years, it's just--it's muscle memory. 21 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:46,263 - Of course. Yeah. 22 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:48,352 - Okay, I'm gonna go take my seat and-- 23 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,224 Oh, you can read my announcements. 24 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,487 - Oh, no, I wrote up my own announcements--I'm good. 25 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,445 - There's some real goodies in here. 26 00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:56,056 They're gonna eat it up. Trust me. 27 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,275 Go ahead. Read. 28 00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:03,019 - "So I bet you're wondering why there are so many cops 29 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,455 in the parking lot. 30 00:01:04,499 --> 00:01:07,806 Let's just say there's a mystery afoot." 31 00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:09,112 [all groan] 32 00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:12,115 [upbeat music] 33 00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,291 ♪ 34 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,554 - Hey boss. - Hey. 35 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:19,731 Little office-warming gift. Got it in the Garden Center. 36 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:20,906 I'm not sure what it is. 37 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,386 The tag just said, "Medium Plant." 38 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,562 - It's a large plant that didn't grow. 39 00:01:24,606 --> 00:01:26,390 - How cool is this? 40 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,696 - It's very cool. 41 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:30,264 - That's it? You have your own office now. 42 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,743 You've made it. How are you not ecstatic? 43 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:34,572 - I'm happy. What do you want me to do? 44 00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:35,747 - I don't know. 45 00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:38,141 Spin around in your chair, feel the power. 46 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:41,231 - Is this good for you? 47 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:43,103 Feels pretty powerful to me. 48 00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,930 - I feel like you're mocking me. 49 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,063 - No. I would never. 50 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,370 - If someone held a gun to your head and asked you, 51 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:50,719 "Who would be the best person 52 00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,895 to replace Amy as floor supervisor," 53 00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,114 who would you say? 54 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,680 - Probably the guy with the gun. 55 00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,508 - Okay. No, he doesn't want the job. 56 00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,423 - Oh, well, then what's up with the gun? 57 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,164 - Forget the gun. Who would you pick? 58 00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,253 - Okay, if I had to pick someone here, 59 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:05,647 it would probably be... 60 00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,823 Actually, you would be good for it. 61 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,694 - I know. That's what everyone is saying. 62 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:12,349 But I don't think Amy sees me as a leader. 63 00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:14,612 In her eyes, I'd always be the wide-eyed ingenue-- 64 00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,832 new to the city, naive but hopeful, 65 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,442 someone who can eat whatever he wants 66 00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:19,922 and never put on any weight. 67 00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,184 - Maybe you just need to step up 68 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:22,490 and start acting like a leader. 69 00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:23,969 Fake it 'till you make it. 70 00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,536 - What does that even mean? 71 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:27,799 Like, I should just start telling people what to do? 72 00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:28,974 - It worked for Bo. 73 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,759 One day he walked into a drugstore 74 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:33,892 wearing a white coat, and now he's a pharmacist tech. 75 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,198 - Really? 76 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,113 - We don't have to buy street drugs anymore. 77 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,116 - But why would Paul Walker's ghost single you out? 78 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,597 - I'm just saying-- sometimes the car speeds up 79 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,338 even when I'm not pressing on the gas. 80 00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,166 - Good morning, fellow floor workers? 81 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,907 Floor worker Glenn Sturgis, at your service. 82 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,170 - What's with the shirt? 83 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,475 - Oh, this is a little bit of history-- 84 00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:54,652 the original Cloud 9 uniform. 85 00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:57,786 One size fits all, and it still fits. 86 00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:59,570 - Oh, well, looks like you're ready for work. 87 00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:02,007 You got your shirt, you got your giant orthopedic shoes. 88 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,619 - And customized insoles from The Walking Company. 89 00:03:04,662 --> 00:03:07,317 And also, Jerusha and I are splitting a pair of clogs, 90 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,450 'cause we're the same size-- women's 15. 91 00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,539 - Yeah. Your wife has beautiful feet. 92 00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:14,672 - Thank you. Anyway, so where do we begin? 93 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,674 - Someone diarrhea'd in the toy aisle. 94 00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,763 - Oh, dibs! If--if you don't mind. 95 00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,200 - That's all you, dude. - You got it. 96 00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,375 - Enjoy. - Okay. 97 00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,333 Off to mop the slop. 98 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,814 - Ah, man, he made it sound fun. 99 00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,685 - No, he didn't. - Yeah, he did. 100 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,340 - Your dad is getting good. - Right? 101 00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:32,255 He's in this whole Brat Pack phase. 102 00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,301 16-year-old Amy is very excited. 103 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,520 - Oh, were you in the middle of sex? 104 00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,479 - I wasn't. Were you? 105 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,089 - No. - Weird. 106 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,656 It really smells like sex in here. 107 00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:43,353 [sniffs] Probably smelling myself. 108 00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,529 Anyway, I wanted to talk about our security system. 109 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:47,531 - Uh, what's wrong with it? - It's crap. 110 00:03:47,575 --> 00:03:49,533 Glenn never let me upgrade it because of the cost, 111 00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:52,449 which is why I am so excited that you're in charge. 112 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,321 - Uh, well, what does it cost? 113 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,497 - Honestly, not that much. It's just, like, a-- 114 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,456 just a tiny bit north of $600,000. 115 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,284 $800,000, to be precise. 116 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:05,157 - Oh, yeah, well, that sounds like a bargain. 117 00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,638 Um, Jonah, what do you think? 118 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,686 - Um, we-- 119 00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:15,255 Well, um, technology is always changing, 120 00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,734 so I'd probably wait a minute 121 00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,432 before investing in something new. 122 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:21,304 - Hmm. That-- that's a really good point. 123 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:24,351 Maybe we should revisit this. 124 00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,875 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 125 00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,051 Thank you, Jonah, for your input. 126 00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:31,923 So glad you were here to chime in with your... 127 00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,448 valuable perspective. 128 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:39,104 - I feel like she didn't mean that. 129 00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,411 [Muzak playing] 130 00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:43,326 - [exhales deeply] 131 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,981 Now, that is a nice-looking display. 132 00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,591 - Thanks. I sorted them 133 00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:50,333 by order of smells I encountered growing up. 134 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:53,162 - Well, um, since you're done here, 135 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:54,424 why don't you go, um, 136 00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,426 straighten out the linen section? 137 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:59,342 - Oh, um... 138 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:02,389 did someone say I should? 139 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:04,782 I mean... 140 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,654 who... 141 00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,960 - Who... [clears throat] 142 00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:10,135 What? 143 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:11,528 ♪ 144 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,052 - Nothing. - Hmm. 145 00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:16,054 ♪ 146 00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,447 [scoffs] 147 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,797 [exhales sharply] 148 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:22,452 - How is Fig Newton the first thing you ever smelled? 149 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,106 - And I just want to confirm, 150 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,716 are you gonna want an assistant? 151 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,370 - Uh, oh, do I get an assistant? 152 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:28,458 Glenn never had one. 153 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,155 - Yeah, he always thought 154 00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,201 it would come out of his salary, but it doesn't. 155 00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,029 - Speaking of, um, I-- 156 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:37,075 I don't even really know what my salary is. 157 00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:38,686 Would you--would you happen to have it? 158 00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:42,559 - Oh, it's, um, $109,000. 159 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,869 - [stammering] 160 00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,784 - Hello? Are you still there? 161 00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:52,352 - Uh, yes. Uh... [stammers] 162 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:55,485 Yeah. Uh, uh-huh. Sorry, sorry. Um... 163 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,008 Did you, uh-- 164 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,446 You said $100,000? 165 00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,491 - And $9,000, plus a yearly bonus, 166 00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,188 usually around $10,000. 167 00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,668 - $10,000? Oh, excuse me. 168 00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:07,628 Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry. 169 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,369 Hello? Hello? Hi, hi, hi. 170 00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:10,848 You still there? - Yeah. 171 00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,720 - Um, okay, so-- 172 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:16,419 so when you say $10,000, you mean, like, 173 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,639 on top of the previously mentioned $9,000, 174 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:19,944 or is it, like, a part of the $9,000 175 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,816 so it's really just, like, $1,000? 176 00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,513 - I don't know what that means, 177 00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:26,081 but it's a total of $119,000. 178 00:06:26,124 --> 00:06:28,344 - And those are real, 179 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,478 firm, rock-hard numbers? 180 00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,741 That's--I'm sorry if that sounded over-sexual. 181 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,395 I'm just looking for confirmation. 182 00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,875 - Uh-huh. So I'll just fax over the contract, 183 00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,616 and you can sign it at your convenience. 184 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,836 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's convenient right now. 185 00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,012 Uh, I could--I could do that right now. Uh-huh. 186 00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:46,623 - Do you want to hear about your perks? 187 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,843 - Holy [bleep]! 188 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:52,760 Yes, I would like to, um, hear about those, please. 189 00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:56,241 . 190 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:58,853 [upbeat funk music] 191 00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:05,120 ♪ 192 00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:06,991 - Good morning, Sarah. 193 00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:09,385 Looking great! 194 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,865 Good hustle, Brett! 195 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:12,344 ♪ 196 00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:14,216 Hey, Sayid, you can go on a break. 197 00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:15,609 - I already had my break. - Well, then it's 198 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,219 a double-break day for you, my friend. 199 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,699 - You're in a good mood. 200 00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,657 - ♪ Somebody got laid 201 00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:23,486 - No, actually, I, um... 202 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,966 I'm just very happy. 203 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,750 I like my new job. 204 00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,056 Oh, also, hey, everyone? 205 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,319 There are doughnuts in the break room. 206 00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:31,363 - [gasps] 207 00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,148 - Ooh, who forgot their doughnuts? 208 00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,237 - No, I bought them. - Okay. 209 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,935 Nobody eat the doughnuts. They're Amy's. 210 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,502 - No, that's not--I-- 211 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:42,462 Doesn't matter. Good job, everyone. 212 00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:46,988 - She's so weird about her doughnuts. 213 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,859 - Hey, so I'm restocking this cereal, 214 00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,079 and there's something moving inside. 215 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:53,255 It's definitely alive, because I can hear it scratching. 216 00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:54,691 - I don't care about a cereal roach. 217 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:57,302 What I care about is you keeping your big nose-- 218 00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:58,869 that's not a slur, just an expression-- 219 00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:01,132 out of my business. - What are you talking about? 220 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,656 - The way you [bleep] me out of that security system. 221 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,788 Let's keep something straight. You're the boyfriend. 222 00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,137 I'm the assistant manager. 223 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,531 You get this, and you get this, 224 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,925 maybe this--that's between you guys, I don't want to know. 225 00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,666 - Dina-- - I said I don't want to know. 226 00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:14,232 But this-- 227 00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,191 everything north of the fun park--this is my domain. 228 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,758 - So, basically, you're asking me 229 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,020 to keep my opinions to myself 230 00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,674 and limit my relationship with Amy 231 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,546 to wordless, mindless sex. - Exactly. 232 00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,940 Huh. I thought this was going to be a harder conversation. 233 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:28,203 - I'm not saying no, but if I did, 234 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,857 just out of curiosity, what would happen? 235 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,599 - Help me out, man. Don't make me make her dump you. 236 00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:33,904 Don't make me do that. 237 00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,776 - I think I'm gonna make you do it. 238 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:36,864 - [sighs] Fine. 239 00:08:36,907 --> 00:08:39,170 You had your chance. 240 00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,172 And, again, the nose thing wasn't-- 241 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,696 You get it. I love everyone. 242 00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,219 [Muzak playing] 243 00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,395 - Marcus, I'm gonna need you to fill in for Brett 244 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,962 'cause he raged out on someone's baby again. 245 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,441 Sayid, clean the pharmacy counter. 246 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,139 The kids have been inhaling the pill dust. 247 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,402 - Why are you telling us what to do? 248 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,099 You're not floor supervisor. 249 00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,231 - Yeah, you're right. 250 00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,624 I just went to Office Supplies, 251 00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,451 picked up a clipboard, filled it with blank paper, 252 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,801 and started giving people orders, 253 00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,367 without any authority whatsoever. 254 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:04,631 [laughing] I mean, come on. 255 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:08,635 - Come on, get with the program, Sayid. 256 00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:12,247 - Look, Jonah's a bimbo. You're management now. 257 00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:14,336 you don't see Dale Federman from the Clayton store 258 00:09:14,379 --> 00:09:16,120 walking around with some floozy on his arm. 259 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,818 Okay? Keep him at the kids' table. 260 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:20,342 - Yeah, no, those--you make some really great points. 261 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,171 I'll keep them in mind. - Well, just think about it. 262 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,173 And if you need to have some rebound sex, 263 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:26,827 I'm happy to call my guy. 264 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,133 He's great. Croatian. 265 00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,440 - Myrtle, hey. 266 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:34,095 How are you? - Oh, okay. 267 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,053 - You eating some ketchup there? 268 00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,229 - They give me these packets for free. 269 00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:41,145 If you leave it in your mouth, it gets warm 270 00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:44,061 and tastes just like... tomato soup. 271 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,149 [chuckles] 272 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,674 - Um... uh... 273 00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:51,591 you know, if you're still in between jobs, 274 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,723 they just promoted me to manager. 275 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,333 - Of the Cardinals? 276 00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,292 - No, of the store. 277 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,946 - [gasps] - And--and they told me 278 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,425 that I could hire an assistant, 279 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:03,211 but I don't really need and assistant, so... 280 00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:05,648 Why don't I just hire you? 281 00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,694 - Oh, really? 282 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:10,740 I'll be the best assistant you've ever had. 283 00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,003 - No, no, no, you don't-- you don't have to come in. 284 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,222 [whispering] You can just take the money. 285 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,398 - I used to work for Mr. Nelson 286 00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:18,400 of Pan-American Airlines. 287 00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:21,446 I'll be here bright and early every morning 288 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:25,407 with your racing forms and pipe tobacco. 289 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,975 - Great. Yeah, well, welcome aboard. 290 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,847 - ♪ Grab a couple cans, stack 'em like blocks ♪ 291 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:34,546 ♪ Grab another can, start a new row ♪ 292 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:37,637 ♪ Having so much fun, watch me as I go ♪ 293 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,815 - Sorry. 294 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,555 - That sucks. 295 00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,166 Welcome to that floor-worker life. 296 00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:46,776 - I wanted to rebuild it anyway, 297 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,169 'cause I think if I make 298 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:50,301 the base wider, I can go even higher. 299 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:53,261 - Glenn, you know, it's okay to complain. 300 00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:54,871 I do it all the time. 301 00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:57,178 - Well, I know you do. - What's that supposed to mean? 302 00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:59,789 - There's no such thing as a bad job. 303 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:03,271 If you have a good attitude, every job is fun. 304 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,708 - It's not my attitude. This is a terrible job. 305 00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:09,451 - Well, okay. Whatever you say. 306 00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,758 ♪ Stacking up the canned foods ♪ 307 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,716 Come on, now. Let's see it. Wave those hands. 308 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,110 ♪ Stacking up the canned foods ♪ 309 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,286 Come on! You know you want to. 310 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,332 - Oh, hey, Myrtle. What are you doing here? 311 00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:22,769 - I just finished eating 312 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,293 all the jelly beans she asked me to. 313 00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,774 [chuckles] - Myrtle is my new assistant. 314 00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:29,079 - Oh. - Yes. 315 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,125 What should I do next? 316 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,388 - Um, why don't you take 317 00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,998 the sales announcements to Garrett? 318 00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:37,827 - Oh, Garrett. Is he the... 319 00:11:37,871 --> 00:11:39,524 What do they like to be called these days? 320 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,439 - No, no, no, no. Let's not get into that. 321 00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,441 Just take it over to customer service. 322 00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,617 - Aye, aye, Captain. 323 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:50,492 - You get an assistant... and it's Myrtle? 324 00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,363 - Well, I just wanted to help the lady out. 325 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,496 Besides, I am in a good mood. 326 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:57,412 - Ooh-hoo-hoo. What's going on? 327 00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:58,892 - I just found out my salary. 328 00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,763 - [gasps] It's good? 329 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,418 - I shouldn't say. - You are dying to tell me. 330 00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,115 - Yes, of course I'm dying to tell you. 331 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,682 Okay, I'm not gonna tell you my salary, 332 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,902 but will you please hand me the contract 333 00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:10,860 that's sitting on my desk while I check out something 334 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:14,081 on my wall and I trust you not to look? 335 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:15,517 - [chuckles] 336 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,127 "Attention Cloud 9 customers, 337 00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,650 do you have a pet fish you love?" 338 00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:21,610 - No, that's--this is the sale announcements. 339 00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,786 - The sale announcements that Myrtle 340 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,528 just took to Garrett? 341 00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:28,356 - Get her! Myrtle! 342 00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,533 - "Section 5, paragraph K-- salary. 343 00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,187 "Employee shall be paid 344 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:37,887 at the rate of $109,000 annually." 345 00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:41,282 Not sure why Amy wants you all to know she makes 109K, 346 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:42,849 but, uh, good for her. 347 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:46,026 "Section 6-- nondisclosure agreement." 348 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,245 I fear that ship has sailed. 349 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:50,160 . 350 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:51,596 - I'm very sorry. 351 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,642 Obviously, I didn't intend 352 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:55,905 to tell everyone how much I was making. 353 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:57,428 And, honestly, I'm quite surprised 354 00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:59,430 that anyone receiving that information 355 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,215 from a clearly confused and elderly woman 356 00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:02,825 would make that announcement. 357 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,392 - I'm a good soldier. I do what I'm told. 358 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,655 - Well, I just want to say, it's awesome to see 359 00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:08,265 another floor supervisor doing so well. 360 00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,833 I think I speak for all floor supervisors when I say 361 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,139 you are an inspiration. 362 00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:14,141 - Oh, okay. Thank you. 363 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:15,838 - It's probably tough on Jonah, though. 364 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,318 - Can't imagine where this is going. 365 00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:19,146 - I'm just saying-- making so much less money 366 00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,322 than your girlfriend, it's got to be emasculating. 367 00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:23,150 Probably makes it tough to get an erection. 368 00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,152 - My erections are fine, thank you. 369 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:27,807 - Fine? [chuckles] Lucky lady. 370 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:29,373 - I'm actually shocked you're not making more. 371 00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,679 I mean, I thought a manager 372 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:31,985 would at least make more than we do. 373 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,987 - She does. - Uh, I don't think so. 374 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,858 - How much do you make? - Same thing we all make-- 375 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,773 $134,000 a year. 376 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,340 [all clamoring] 377 00:13:39,383 --> 00:13:40,994 - How do you make that much a year? 378 00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:43,866 - 52 weeks times 30 hours a week times minimum wage-- 379 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,302 86 bucks an hour. 380 00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,044 - No, no, no, no. Minimum wage is $8.60 an hour. 381 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,046 - [gasp] I must have missed a decimal point. 382 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,353 - So no part of you thought to question 383 00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,965 why you were making $86 an hour to work retail? 384 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,837 - I thought that's what we all made. 385 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,534 - [sighs] - How do you guys live 386 00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:01,753 on under $134,000 a year? 387 00:14:01,797 --> 00:14:03,930 - I cut the budget. I let people go. 388 00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,845 - You're gonna have to pay that back. 389 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,934 - Oh, now you're taking his money? 390 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:09,457 The rich get richer. 391 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,981 - No, it goes back to corporate, not to me. 392 00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,201 - And who pays you? Corporate. 393 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:16,943 Funny how that works. Follow the money, people. 394 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,814 - I can't pay that money back. 395 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,337 I'm living hand to mouth as it is. 396 00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:23,036 - I always say, "Mo' money, mo' problems." 397 00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:26,082 - That's what you say? You say that? 398 00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:29,129 - ♪ I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell ♪ 399 00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:31,958 ♪ I know right now you can't tell ♪ 400 00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:34,395 ♪ But stay awhile and maybe-- ♪ 401 00:14:34,438 --> 00:14:36,223 [Muzak playing] 402 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:39,400 - Oop! Does anyone need any extra mayonnaise? 403 00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:40,575 'Cause it's on me. 404 00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,142 - [laughs] Good one. 405 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,970 - It's nice that you can find the humor in all this. 406 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:45,232 - Well, full disclosure-- 407 00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,060 I stole that from "Hi and Lois." 408 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,539 - Hey, you know, if I was in your shoes, 409 00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,933 I'd just be thinking about that $90,000 a year 410 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,543 that I walked away from. 411 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:55,242 You know, over the next 20 years, that's $1.8 million? 412 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:57,026 So I don't think anybody would blame you 413 00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,419 if you were a little upset. 414 00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,900 - No, I'm fine. 415 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,945 Hey, but do you feel like a BLT? 416 00:15:02,989 --> 00:15:05,034 I do, 'cause I'm covered in mayonnaise! 417 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,167 - [laughs] BLT! 418 00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:09,821 Oh, my God. I am literally dead. 419 00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,432 - No, Justine, it's not funny! 420 00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:15,566 He's a miserable man, and it's a terrible job. 421 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:18,091 Clean that up, dork. 422 00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,396 - Uh-oh. 423 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,486 Clean up on aisle have-what-she's-having. 424 00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,793 - [laughing] Stop! 425 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:26,055 I'm gonna pee my pants. 426 00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:27,927 - Well, if you do, I'll clean that up, too. 427 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,625 - Stop! Oh, it's happening! 428 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:31,887 - Oh, God! Yeah, yeah. 429 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,237 - [laughing] Not again. 430 00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:36,065 - Floor Supervisor Mateo Liwanag 431 00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:37,937 to Customer Service, please. 432 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,461 Floor Supervisor Mateo Liwanag 433 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,332 to customer service. 434 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,814 [panting] Oh. 435 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,947 That's me. Got to take it. [laughs] 436 00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,600 Whoo! 437 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,037 - You know who you should date 438 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,256 is that hot guy that you came in with last week. 439 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:54,475 - Oh, maybe. 440 00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:56,520 Two problems-- he's gay, and he's my brother. 441 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,653 - Mm, I don't know. You guys had good chemistry. 442 00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:02,004 Oh, what happened here? - I think it's slushie vomit. 443 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,788 And there's a whole sandwich in the middle, 444 00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:06,835 but I'm pretty sure someone just dropped it in after. 445 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,010 - Yeah, probably. 446 00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,012 People don't usually eat those whole. 447 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,318 - [grunting] 448 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:12,928 - Are you okay? - Oh. 449 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,451 My knees are just acting up. 450 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:15,975 I'm trying not to go to the doctor 451 00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,585 'cause I'm saving up for a bike. 452 00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:20,327 The bus driver keeps trying to drive me to his house. 453 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,242 - Well, why don't you go take a break? 454 00:16:22,285 --> 00:16:23,808 I'll clean this up. I can do this. 455 00:16:23,852 --> 00:16:25,941 - What are you doing? You're the manager-- 456 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,812 not some vomit girl like Sandra. 457 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,510 - It's fine. 458 00:16:29,553 --> 00:16:32,295 Some of it is mine, actually, you know, 'cause of the smell. 459 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:33,775 - Look, guys, it's not like 460 00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:36,256 I'm above cleaning up vomit now. 461 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:39,041 I'm still, "Amy from the block, girl." 462 00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,174 - Thank you. - Amy, corporate just sent you 463 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,914 a welcome basket with champagne. 464 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,873 Where should I put it? - Just anywhere. 465 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,135 Anywhere is fine. 466 00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,223 - Okay, I'll put it in your Lexus. 467 00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,791 - Whoa. You have a Lexus? 468 00:16:49,834 --> 00:16:51,271 - No, of course not. 469 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,142 - There's also a man outside waiting for you 470 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:54,535 with your company car. 471 00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:56,798 It's a Lexus. 472 00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,974 - Oh, uh, well... 473 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,803 I guess I should probably go sign for it, then. 474 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,023 Um, sorry. 475 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,850 Next time. Can I just-- 476 00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,548 Sorry. Thank you. - Ow. Ow. 477 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:10,420 [tense music] 478 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:13,032 - Yeah, you're gonna need to get all of that. 479 00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:15,034 . 480 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:17,645 - I don't know how I'm gonna pay back corporate. I'm broke. 481 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,560 - How? You live with your mother. 482 00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,431 Your car doesn't have any doors. 483 00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:24,695 And you've been making $134,000 every year 484 00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,132 for the last six years. 485 00:17:26,175 --> 00:17:29,048 Where does all the money go? - I don't know. 486 00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:32,051 I get the guacamole from Chipotle every time. 487 00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:36,403 - Excuse me, do you sell any books by David Foster Wallace? 488 00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:38,057 - Uh, no, sorry. 489 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,710 I keep suggesting it, 490 00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:42,365 but the employees all just make "Infinite Jest" of me. 491 00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,498 [laughter] 492 00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:46,065 - You're so funny. 493 00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:49,198 Do you want to go outside and do it in your car? 494 00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:50,330 - Uh... 495 00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,809 - This young lady says 496 00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:54,290 she was paid to seduce me, record it on tape, 497 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:56,118 and then give that tape to the store manager. 498 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,077 - I requested a nerdy girl-next-door type. 499 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,122 You're just a bad girl they stuck a pair of glasses on. 500 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,733 - Look, I'm sorry you're not getting your security system, 501 00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,518 but Amy and I are not gonna break up. 502 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,650 I can't believe you hired a prostitute. 503 00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:10,393 Sorry, sex worker. You have agency. 504 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,569 - So should I go? 505 00:18:12,613 --> 00:18:14,745 - I paid for two hours. You may as well help Justine 506 00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:17,096 re-price towels to match the new EDLPs. 507 00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,445 Follow me. 508 00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:20,186 Come on. 509 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:24,451 - Oh, hey, Amy, this lady wants to use 510 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:27,062 her EBT card to pay for diapers. 511 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,891 - Yeah, we can't do that. They won't let us. 512 00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,545 - Do you know how expensive diapers are? 513 00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:34,417 - Yeah, I do, actually. I also have a baby. 514 00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:37,159 - Well, you also make $109,000 a year, 515 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,161 so you're not exactly in the same boat. 516 00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:41,685 - Well, I wasn't saying that I was in the same boat. 517 00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:44,210 I was just saying that I understand the cost of diapers. 518 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,690 I mean, obviously, I can-- I can pay for diapers. 519 00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,823 - Really? Thank you. 520 00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,217 That's generous of you. - Oh, no, no. No. 521 00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,435 Sorry, I wasn't saying 522 00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:53,871 that I could pay for your diapers. 523 00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,569 - Oh. - I mean, I would. 524 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:58,311 It's just that if I went around buying everyone's diapers 525 00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,878 who's on food stamps, I'd be broke in, like, a day. 526 00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,794 - Sure, it's fine. I'll buy them myself. 527 00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:06,406 God bless America. - I know, right? 528 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,277 - I'm sorry. I just--I don't-- I don't understand 529 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:11,802 why it's my responsibility to buy your diapers. 530 00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:15,110 You know what? Fine. Okay, cool. 531 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,678 Yeah, I can-- I can buy these diapers. 532 00:19:17,721 --> 00:19:19,984 Run the card. 533 00:19:21,943 --> 00:19:23,466 But I'm--I'm not paying for the candy. 534 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,295 - Oh! So, because you're rich, you know what's best for me, 535 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,210 and I'm just too fat for candy? 536 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:31,648 - No, that is not what I said. 537 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:34,999 I will pay for the candy, obviously. 538 00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:37,306 - Garrett, I just found the funniest thing 539 00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:38,481 while I was cleaning. 540 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:41,223 It was a rat inside a used condom. 541 00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,487 I was like, "How did you get in there, little fella?" 542 00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,010 - This is a bad job, okay? 543 00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:49,318 This is a soul-crushing, miserable place to work. 544 00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,233 I know that. I know that in my heart. 545 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:55,324 Nothing you say will ever, ever take that away from me. 546 00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:58,501 [Muzak playing] 547 00:19:58,545 --> 00:20:00,242 - Okay. 548 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,026 See you later. 549 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:05,378 ♪ 550 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:09,120 - Hi! Welcome to Cloud 9. 551 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,688 - Oh, why, thank you! 552 00:20:11,732 --> 00:20:14,691 - Do you like cool savings? 553 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,302 - Yes, I do. 554 00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:20,654 - Why not check out our frozen treats in Grocery? 555 00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:25,267 - Oh, I will. Thank you so much. 556 00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:26,964 Frozen treats. 557 00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:32,056 ♪ 558 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:35,059 - Hey, Mateo, after I do go-backs, I'm gonna take 15? 559 00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:36,583 - Thanks, Joelle. 560 00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:39,542 ♪ 561 00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:42,153 Hmm. [clears throat] 562 00:20:42,197 --> 00:20:44,286 ♪ 563 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,809 - Everything okay? 564 00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:47,376 - [sighs] Rough day. 565 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,638 - Yeah, I heard. 566 00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:50,074 If it makes you feel any better, 567 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,902 I turned down sex with a hooker for you. 568 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,731 - Oh! That does make me feel better. 569 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:56,516 I can't wait for this day to be over. 570 00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:57,691 I need a drink. 571 00:20:57,734 --> 00:20:59,736 - So let's go get a drink! 572 00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:00,998 - It's the middle of the day. 573 00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:02,609 - Oh, yeah. That's right. 574 00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:06,003 You don't want to get in trouble with your boss. 575 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,310 Oh, wait. 576 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:09,572 - I'm the boss. 577 00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:12,009 - Yeah, that's where I was going with that. 578 00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:13,750 - Let's go get a drink. - All right. 579 00:21:13,794 --> 00:21:15,317 But you're paying. 580 00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:17,624 You won't stop bragging about how much money you make. 581 00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,713 - $109,000. - All right, all right. 582 00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:22,629 - Plus perks. - What?