1 00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:06,696 Hey, Rodriguez. Good news. 2 00:00:06,957 --> 00:00:08,456 I was going over the harassment policy. 3 00:00:08,457 --> 00:00:10,290 Turns out there's nothing in there about nerds. 4 00:00:10,292 --> 00:00:11,491 We can do whatever we want to them. 5 00:00:11,493 --> 00:00:12,959 Well, I'm not really dying 6 00:00:12,961 --> 00:00:14,694 to harass some nerds. 7 00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:17,531 Oh, no, neither am I. I'm just saying we have options. 8 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:21,401 Oh, God, you've gotta be kidding me. 9 00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:23,455 Okay, don't look over now. I'm gonna need you 10 00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:25,255 to look over, but don't be obvious about it, okay? 11 00:00:25,257 --> 00:00:27,224 Don't look now. Look back at me. 12 00:00:27,226 --> 00:00:28,684 All right, okay. Ready? 13 00:00:28,685 --> 00:00:30,060 Look now. Wait, not now! 14 00:00:30,062 --> 00:00:31,662 Dina, what are you talking about? 15 00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:33,298 Okay, you know Colleen from the Bel-Ridge store? 16 00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:34,598 The one who sucks and is like if Satan 17 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,067 and a turd had a baby? She just walked in. 18 00:00:37,558 --> 00:00:39,411 Mm-hmm, yeah. Um... 19 00:00:39,412 --> 00:00:43,066 But your little rivalry thing is just kind of fun 20 00:00:43,067 --> 00:00:44,753 and friendly competition, right? 21 00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:47,234 No, Amy. I hate her with the fire 22 00:00:47,235 --> 00:00:49,535 of a thousand suns. Frankly, I'd like her dead. 23 00:00:50,274 --> 00:00:53,342 - Oh. - Shh... she's coming this way. 24 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,107 God, I wish I could dropkick her dumb head. 25 00:00:55,108 --> 00:00:58,743 Colleen, hi! 26 00:00:58,745 --> 00:01:01,826 Oh, my gosh, it's so good to see you. 27 00:01:02,067 --> 00:01:03,667 [whispering] Vomit. 28 00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:06,537 I am so sorry to hear about Bel-Ridge closing. 29 00:01:06,753 --> 00:01:08,420 Ugh, who knows why these things happen? 30 00:01:08,421 --> 00:01:10,704 Thanks, Deener. I appreciate that. 31 00:01:10,705 --> 00:01:13,134 So whatcha doing here? You just pop in 32 00:01:13,135 --> 00:01:14,968 on your way to the unemployment office? 33 00:01:14,970 --> 00:01:17,303 [laughs] Well, actually, uh... 34 00:01:17,305 --> 00:01:19,372 Fun surprise. 35 00:01:19,374 --> 00:01:23,576 Colleen has been transferred to here. 36 00:01:23,578 --> 00:01:27,556 That... is a fun surprise. 37 00:01:27,842 --> 00:01:30,810 [upbeat music] 38 00:01:31,032 --> 00:01:32,832 ♪ 39 00:01:32,881 --> 00:01:35,715 Colleen Wisniewski! In my store. 40 00:01:35,717 --> 00:01:37,150 Why didn't you tell me? 41 00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:39,283 I thought maybe you'd overreact a little bit. 42 00:01:39,284 --> 00:01:41,711 Oh, I'm overreacting a lot. This will not stand! 43 00:01:41,712 --> 00:01:44,287 You have to fire her. She calls me "Deener," Amy. 44 00:01:44,778 --> 00:01:46,912 - Deener. - Look, my hands are tied. 45 00:01:46,914 --> 00:01:48,780 She's been with the company a long time. 46 00:01:48,782 --> 00:01:50,282 Corporate wanted to relocate her. 47 00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,457 Besides, we kind of had something to do with 48 00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:53,891 the closing of Bel-Ridge, 49 00:01:53,893 --> 00:01:55,726 so maybe we should just be cool with it. 50 00:01:55,728 --> 00:01:58,295 What and then just let Colleen be Colleen? 51 00:01:58,297 --> 00:01:59,631 I don't wanna be on that side of history. 52 00:01:59,632 --> 00:02:00,966 If you don't get her out of here, I will. 53 00:02:00,967 --> 00:02:04,168 No, Dina, no. You will not. 54 00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:05,575 [clears throat] 55 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,267 Or I will be forced to write you up. 56 00:02:09,861 --> 00:02:12,804 - Really? - In front of Colleen. 57 00:02:13,899 --> 00:02:14,925 You wouldn't. 58 00:02:16,076 --> 00:02:18,110 - Try me. - What is this? 59 00:02:18,112 --> 00:02:20,912 Is this... is this you being firm? 60 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:22,914 [clears throat] 61 00:02:23,379 --> 00:02:24,783 Oh, you're back. 62 00:02:25,175 --> 00:02:27,408 Well, I'm wearing your vest and I'm keeping it 63 00:02:27,410 --> 00:02:28,724 'cause it fits me better. 64 00:02:28,725 --> 00:02:31,492 No, I'm just visiting. I may not be able to work here, 65 00:02:31,494 --> 00:02:33,161 but they can't stop me from seeing my friends 66 00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:34,662 and using their employee discount. 67 00:02:34,664 --> 00:02:36,964 So you have to wear that thing all the time? 68 00:02:36,966 --> 00:02:38,666 [groans] It's the worst. 69 00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:40,989 I have to charge it every eight hours, 70 00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:43,104 and of course they had to put it on my cute ankle. 71 00:02:43,106 --> 00:02:44,688 My mom's ex-boyfriend Dustin 72 00:02:44,689 --> 00:02:46,584 had one of those, but he took it off. 73 00:02:46,585 --> 00:02:47,991 How? They're, like, indestructible. 74 00:02:47,992 --> 00:02:50,335 Well, he was 400 pounds when he got it, 75 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:52,477 but then he got a parasite from a lake. 76 00:02:54,761 --> 00:02:57,028 Maybe something like this for our centerpieces? 77 00:02:57,030 --> 00:03:00,364 But with basil in it 'cause Jerry loves Italian food. 78 00:03:00,366 --> 00:03:02,299 I wish you were having a gay wedding. 79 00:03:02,301 --> 00:03:03,801 I've never been to a gay wedding. 80 00:03:03,803 --> 00:03:05,569 Oh, you should have a shrimp tower 81 00:03:05,571 --> 00:03:07,046 because I've heard at some weddings 82 00:03:07,047 --> 00:03:09,073 they don't have enough shrimp, and some... 83 00:03:09,075 --> 00:03:10,708 some people get upset. 84 00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:12,276 Okay, these are all great points, 85 00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:14,378 just not for a union meeting, 86 00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:15,913 which this was actually supposed to be. 87 00:03:15,915 --> 00:03:17,381 So have you guys set a date yet? 88 00:03:17,383 --> 00:03:19,316 Almost. It's either gonna be 89 00:03:19,318 --> 00:03:21,085 the anniversary of our first kiss 90 00:03:21,087 --> 00:03:23,254 or whatever the cheapest option is. 91 00:03:23,256 --> 00:03:26,323 You know, Sandra, you seem to have a lot going on right now 92 00:03:26,325 --> 00:03:29,427 and I'm wondering if maybe I should take the reins 93 00:03:29,429 --> 00:03:31,262 on this whole union thing for a little bit. 94 00:03:31,264 --> 00:03:32,566 Yes, thank you. 95 00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:34,547 I'm doing a lot of wedding planning this week 96 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,845 and also I'm going through all the "Fast & Furious" movies, 97 00:03:36,846 --> 00:03:38,304 so I have a lot on my plate. 98 00:03:38,306 --> 00:03:39,805 Got it. Yeah. 99 00:03:39,807 --> 00:03:41,340 Here are the signed cards 100 00:03:41,342 --> 00:03:43,186 and, FYI, the warehouse guys took theirs back. 101 00:03:43,572 --> 00:03:44,677 Wait, what? Why? 102 00:03:44,679 --> 00:03:48,120 I don't know, but Rico has beautiful penmanship. 103 00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,678 He agreed to do all of my invitations. 104 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:52,413 [sighing happily] 105 00:03:52,471 --> 00:03:56,573 ♪ Why in the world would anybody put chains on me ♪ 106 00:03:56,768 --> 00:03:59,384 ♪ Yeah ♪ 107 00:03:59,385 --> 00:04:00,951 I guess I should've pushed back more when 108 00:04:00,953 --> 00:04:02,786 corporate made me hire her, but I just thought 109 00:04:02,788 --> 00:04:04,788 Dina hated her like, "I hate Mondays." 110 00:04:04,790 --> 00:04:06,857 But no, she wants to follow Monday home, 111 00:04:06,859 --> 00:04:08,625 blockade the door, and burn the house down 112 00:04:08,627 --> 00:04:10,260 with Monday still inside. 113 00:04:10,262 --> 00:04:12,529 Well, I mean I can see where Dina is coming from. 114 00:04:12,531 --> 00:04:14,765 Who wouldn't hate that person? 115 00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:16,566 Well, at least I put my foot down. 116 00:04:16,568 --> 00:04:19,269 Dina is not going to be messing with her. 117 00:04:19,271 --> 00:04:21,772 Hopefully. How was the union meeting? 118 00:04:21,774 --> 00:04:24,307 Well, uh, we learned that Sandra is walking 119 00:04:24,309 --> 00:04:26,043 down the aisle to "The Hamster Dance." 120 00:04:26,045 --> 00:04:28,378 Oh, and all the warehouse guys are out. 121 00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:30,380 Wait, what? How are we gonna get any 122 00:04:30,382 --> 00:04:33,050 of the other stores to commit if we can't get our own people? 123 00:04:33,052 --> 00:04:34,751 Don't worry, I'm on it. I'll... I'll talk to them, 124 00:04:34,753 --> 00:04:36,053 get 'em back on board. 125 00:04:36,394 --> 00:04:37,506 Oh. 126 00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:40,724 You know, I would never usually recommend this, 127 00:04:40,726 --> 00:04:42,926 but you should talk to Marcus. I don't know, 128 00:04:42,928 --> 00:04:44,561 for some reason they listen to him. 129 00:04:44,563 --> 00:04:45,929 I think it's 'cause he's tall. 130 00:04:45,931 --> 00:04:47,124 Is he tall? 131 00:04:47,499 --> 00:04:50,167 I guess I just never thought of us as tall... 132 00:04:50,655 --> 00:04:51,846 Aww. 133 00:04:54,673 --> 00:04:57,474 [groans] God, this sucks. 134 00:04:57,476 --> 00:04:59,263 I just feel so useless. 135 00:04:59,611 --> 00:05:01,745 And not like the way most people here are useless. 136 00:05:01,747 --> 00:05:04,081 I just mean, like, no purpose. 137 00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:06,316 Well, I could use your help with this quilt right now. 138 00:05:06,318 --> 00:05:08,018 I can't get it smooth. 139 00:05:08,020 --> 00:05:09,820 Okay, you can't grapple with it once it's down. 140 00:05:09,822 --> 00:05:11,822 You have to do the loft-and-fold. 141 00:05:11,824 --> 00:05:13,090 - What? - Yeah. 142 00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:14,825 Just loft... 143 00:05:14,827 --> 00:05:16,827 [gasps] 144 00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:20,130 And then we fold this... 145 00:05:21,368 --> 00:05:24,701 Wow! Get this guy into my bedroom. 146 00:05:25,185 --> 00:05:27,091 - Thank you. - You bet. 147 00:05:28,321 --> 00:05:30,941 Aww, did you see his face when he helped you? 148 00:05:31,203 --> 00:05:33,036 Makes sense. He loves being better 149 00:05:33,038 --> 00:05:34,804 at stuff than people. 150 00:05:36,541 --> 00:05:38,241 [phone ringing] Oh, crap. 151 00:05:38,243 --> 00:05:41,384 - My phone's in there. - Oh. 152 00:05:41,385 --> 00:05:44,096 I don't know, man. The guys got pretty spooked by the raid. 153 00:05:44,097 --> 00:05:45,963 Who knows what corporate would do if we unionize? 154 00:05:45,965 --> 00:05:49,300 Yeah, well, but we... we really need the numbers, and I... 155 00:05:49,979 --> 00:05:51,725 And I-I just thought maybe... 156 00:05:52,338 --> 00:05:54,638 maybe you could talk to them? 157 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,774 If you're... if you're worried about what to say, 158 00:05:56,776 --> 00:05:59,310 we could go over some talking points together, you know. 159 00:05:59,312 --> 00:06:01,645 Hold up... together? 160 00:06:01,647 --> 00:06:03,447 As in, you and me? 161 00:06:03,449 --> 00:06:05,850 Yeah, just, you know, just quickly to go over what to say. 162 00:06:05,852 --> 00:06:07,118 Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 163 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,519 We hang out, chopping it up, 164 00:06:08,521 --> 00:06:11,021 bro by bro. Then I go back in, 165 00:06:11,023 --> 00:06:14,125 get the guys back on board, we go celebrate for dinner. 166 00:06:14,127 --> 00:06:15,693 Right, great. And then, yeah, that's the end. 167 00:06:15,695 --> 00:06:17,739 Or the beginning of a great friendship. 168 00:06:18,526 --> 00:06:20,061 You know, I... I feel like we could 169 00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,548 get this done pretty quickly. 170 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,215 Do you... do you have a minute now? 171 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,784 I don't know. 172 00:06:24,786 --> 00:06:27,240 I mean, we have a lot of ground to cover. 173 00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:29,822 We should probably block out a big chunk of time. 174 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:32,458 - Oh. - Say, lunch? 175 00:06:32,797 --> 00:06:34,564 [stammers] Yeah, okay, sure. Lunch. 176 00:06:34,565 --> 00:06:36,213 Yes! The Horsemen ride again. 177 00:06:36,247 --> 00:06:37,332 Meet me at my car. 178 00:06:37,334 --> 00:06:38,901 I'll put together a playlist. 179 00:06:38,903 --> 00:06:41,249 You can put on some more comfortable clothes... 180 00:06:41,324 --> 00:06:44,291 - Probably just wear this. - Ah, it's perfect. 181 00:06:44,975 --> 00:06:46,642 Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers. 182 00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:50,641 Just a reminder about our emotional support snake policy. 183 00:06:50,642 --> 00:06:53,115 We don't have one, so please do not bring your... 184 00:06:53,117 --> 00:06:55,851 You know how I said there's no way I will ever 185 00:06:55,853 --> 00:06:57,819 forgive you for what happened to my birds? 186 00:06:58,350 --> 00:06:59,942 Well, guess what? There is a way. 187 00:07:00,042 --> 00:07:03,076 I need you to make Colleen quit because I hate her. 188 00:07:03,213 --> 00:07:05,581 Okay, so you hate Colleen, you hate me... 189 00:07:05,582 --> 00:07:07,462 - How many enemies do you have? - 37. 190 00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:10,170 36, and then my bitch neighbor had a baby. 191 00:07:10,171 --> 00:07:12,493 All right, look, Dina, I don't have any beef 192 00:07:12,494 --> 00:07:13,878 with this woman and I don't know how you'd 193 00:07:13,937 --> 00:07:15,803 go about making someone quit. 194 00:07:15,805 --> 00:07:17,905 Well, you managed to make my birds quit living. 195 00:07:17,907 --> 00:07:19,640 I'm sure you can figure something out. 196 00:07:19,642 --> 00:07:21,124 Just get her out of here 197 00:07:21,198 --> 00:07:23,611 and make sure I'm not tied to it at all 198 00:07:23,613 --> 00:07:25,926 and I'll stop doing things like this. 199 00:07:26,816 --> 00:07:28,382 That was Elias's. 200 00:07:28,384 --> 00:07:30,451 Oh, well, that's fine. 201 00:07:30,453 --> 00:07:32,153 Elias is also on my list. 202 00:07:38,127 --> 00:07:40,762 Oh, Mateo, thank God you're here. 203 00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:43,231 I can't get these shirts to lie flat. 204 00:07:43,233 --> 00:07:44,833 How do you do it again? 205 00:07:44,835 --> 00:07:47,402 Okay, so just... anchor it with your thumb 206 00:07:47,404 --> 00:07:49,037 and pull it taut. 207 00:07:49,039 --> 00:07:52,274 Do the same thing on the other side, like so. 208 00:07:52,674 --> 00:07:55,444 One-third, two-thirds, there. 209 00:07:55,446 --> 00:07:57,279 Thin as prosciutto. 210 00:07:57,454 --> 00:08:00,088 Amazing. You're so helpful. 211 00:08:00,361 --> 00:08:02,579 Okay, I know what you're doing, Chey... 212 00:08:02,659 --> 00:08:04,492 and thank you. 213 00:08:04,494 --> 00:08:07,061 Oh, hey, Mateo, I didn't see you there. 214 00:08:07,063 --> 00:08:08,930 Hey, am I doing this right? 215 00:08:08,932 --> 00:08:10,565 - Glen... - 'cause I-I just... I thought 216 00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:11,934 they were supposed to go on their sides... 217 00:08:11,935 --> 00:08:14,034 Glen, let me help... Glen! 218 00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:15,603 Oh, hey, uh... 219 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,638 - Colleen, right? - Yeah, Colleen. 220 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,107 The one whose locker you were just in. 221 00:08:19,109 --> 00:08:21,042 Oh, that's... [chuckles] 222 00:08:21,081 --> 00:08:23,111 That's your locker. I thought it was mine. 223 00:08:23,113 --> 00:08:26,752 No, yours is the one next to you that says "Garrett" 224 00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:28,383 with the "Neon Genesis" sticker. 225 00:08:28,385 --> 00:08:30,618 - Oh, anime fan? - Mm-hmm. 226 00:08:31,373 --> 00:08:32,600 Also a fan of my locker. 227 00:08:32,601 --> 00:08:34,464 Sure, oh... you're gonna head in there right now? 228 00:08:34,465 --> 00:08:35,813 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, of course. 229 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,120 - Your locker, go for it. - Oh! 230 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,002 I, um... 231 00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:46,139 I put a bunch of fish in your locker. 232 00:08:46,174 --> 00:08:47,842 Mm-hmm, yeah, I can see that. 233 00:08:49,324 --> 00:08:51,825 Still haven't gotten these doors replaced, huh? 234 00:08:51,827 --> 00:08:52,859 If it's good enough 235 00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:54,500 for the United States Postal Service, 236 00:08:54,501 --> 00:08:55,633 it's good enough for me. 237 00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:58,269 All right. Yeah. 238 00:08:59,467 --> 00:09:01,940 Chicken adobo? Mateo's aunt made it for me. 239 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,042 Has that just been sitting in your car all day? 240 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,021 Yeah, boy! It's already warm. 241 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,312 No need to microwave. 242 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,092 So, talking points. 243 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,908 When you talk to the guys about health care, I was thinking... 244 00:09:13,962 --> 00:09:16,485 Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. You can't just tell me 245 00:09:16,531 --> 00:09:18,365 what to say and then I go and I say it. 246 00:09:18,367 --> 00:09:19,866 Really? I thought we might try that. 247 00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:22,235 No, you gotta find my voice, so when I say it, 248 00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:24,397 it sounds natural. And that means... 249 00:09:24,505 --> 00:09:26,524 a little getting to know you period. 250 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,842 Okay, great. Uh, totally. 251 00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:30,479 So, what should I know? 252 00:09:30,714 --> 00:09:33,496 Well, for starters, do you like this song? 253 00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:37,151 [rock music] 254 00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:40,068 - Yeah... yes? - Noice! 255 00:09:40,685 --> 00:09:42,184 Dude, that's my band. 256 00:09:42,186 --> 00:09:43,366 It's actually just me right now, 257 00:09:43,367 --> 00:09:45,084 but we're looking to fill out the lineup. 258 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,166 Or... maybe we're not looking anymore? 259 00:09:49,998 --> 00:09:54,267 Why, exactly, would you put fish in Colleen's locker? 260 00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:56,595 Because... I'm a bully 261 00:09:56,678 --> 00:10:00,354 and I think this totally nice 262 00:10:00,721 --> 00:10:02,108 and friendly lady 263 00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:05,078 should... quit. 264 00:10:05,426 --> 00:10:07,375 You think that, do you? 265 00:10:08,470 --> 00:10:11,486 Not cool, Garrett. She's a member of our family. 266 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,745 Colleen, I'm so sorry this happened to you. 267 00:10:14,746 --> 00:10:16,581 It's really no big deal. I was just looking 268 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:20,251 for some Lysol because the fish smell is escalating. 269 00:10:20,531 --> 00:10:22,531 No, it is a big deal 270 00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:24,800 and frankly, he needs to be punished. 271 00:10:24,802 --> 00:10:27,184 I'm putting you on freezer duty. 272 00:10:27,772 --> 00:10:30,213 I don't know what freezer duty is. 273 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:32,079 Whatever, just go get in the freezer. 274 00:10:32,314 --> 00:10:33,635 Okay. 275 00:10:34,951 --> 00:10:37,618 I'm so sorry, Colleen. I really hope Garrett 276 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:40,021 doesn't do anything like this again. 277 00:10:40,023 --> 00:10:42,289 So do I, but honestly 278 00:10:42,748 --> 00:10:44,475 this probably won't be the last time 279 00:10:44,784 --> 00:10:46,359 and it probably won't be the most fish. 280 00:10:46,418 --> 00:10:47,948 It will be the last time. 281 00:10:48,993 --> 00:10:51,794 Aw, Sandra. [Chuckles] 282 00:10:51,857 --> 00:10:53,836 Can't believe they got you in on this. 283 00:10:54,327 --> 00:10:56,748 - Huh? - Oh, this is so stupid. 284 00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:58,688 I mean, it's so bland. 285 00:10:59,062 --> 00:11:00,897 Like you've got the same color next to each other. 286 00:11:00,898 --> 00:11:02,663 Nothing's accessorized. 287 00:11:02,665 --> 00:11:04,616 [groans] It looks like a baby did this. 288 00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:10,095 You guys, Sandra? This is too much. 289 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,643 I... I did my best. 290 00:11:13,987 --> 00:11:16,064 Oh, it's okay. I've got this. 291 00:11:19,051 --> 00:11:21,018 Hey, Sandra, we were... 292 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,887 Hey, um, Mateo? We didn't really... 293 00:11:23,889 --> 00:11:26,289 You guys, um, this is the nicest thing 294 00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:27,824 anyone's ever done for me. 295 00:11:28,066 --> 00:11:30,399 And the fact that you got everyone in the store in on it... I... 296 00:11:32,711 --> 00:11:33,803 I can't even. 297 00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:37,668 Well, yeah, we'd do anything for you, Mateo. 298 00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:39,479 Anything you think we did. 299 00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:42,312 Attention, shoppers, we have a sale today 300 00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:44,708 in our pets department, two for one goldfish. 301 00:11:45,010 --> 00:11:47,847 In sporting goods, fishing rods are fishy percent off. 302 00:11:48,180 --> 00:11:50,681 I think that's supposed to be 50. 303 00:11:50,789 --> 00:11:52,026 And finally... 304 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,127 Come to customer service to get your pound 305 00:11:58,156 --> 00:12:02,159 of locker fish from me, Garrett the Fish McFish. 306 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,494 Have a heavenly day. 307 00:12:04,844 --> 00:12:06,140 Very funny. 308 00:12:06,676 --> 00:12:09,476 You put fish in my locker, I put fish in your announcements. 309 00:12:09,501 --> 00:12:11,802 Fair enough. I'm... I'm sorry about that. 310 00:12:11,804 --> 00:12:15,138 Oh, it's no big deal. I can handle rookie hazing. 311 00:12:15,593 --> 00:12:18,605 And don't worry, I will get you your dead fish back ASAP. 312 00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:21,678 Well you know what, those fish are yours to keep. 313 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,380 Aw, that's really generous. 314 00:12:23,382 --> 00:12:25,515 - I have a big heart. - I bet you do, 315 00:12:26,122 --> 00:12:29,584 but I am very worried that you might meet a hungry cat 316 00:12:29,696 --> 00:12:31,796 and need the dead fish, so... 317 00:12:32,057 --> 00:12:33,549 I should give you my number. 318 00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,415 I guess you could do that. 319 00:12:37,277 --> 00:12:39,472 - You have to fire Colleen. - Garrett, I know 320 00:12:39,474 --> 00:12:40,807 Dina put you up to this. 321 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:43,196 Yes, okay, Dina did put me up to that, 322 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,737 but that's not what this is about. 323 00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,872 I think that there... I think there might be something there. 324 00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:48,540 Like... between the two of us. 325 00:12:48,542 --> 00:12:50,242 How? You just met. 326 00:12:50,685 --> 00:12:53,312 She likes anime, okay? She made some jokes. 327 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,781 I don't... I don't have a lot of boxes to check. 328 00:12:56,486 --> 00:12:59,351 God... no, no, no. That can't happen. 329 00:12:59,353 --> 00:13:02,515 Dina would lose her mind. That would be bad for me, 330 00:13:02,796 --> 00:13:04,796 bad for the store, bad for everybody. 331 00:13:04,797 --> 00:13:05,933 Okay, well, yeah, I-I agree. 332 00:13:05,934 --> 00:13:07,134 That's why you need to do something. 333 00:13:07,135 --> 00:13:08,891 Can't you just transfer her to another store? 334 00:13:09,096 --> 00:13:11,133 I mean, I guess I could call around, 335 00:13:11,205 --> 00:13:13,872 but it's not like there's that many empty spots. 336 00:13:13,874 --> 00:13:16,541 In the meantime, can you just not sleep with her? 337 00:13:16,543 --> 00:13:19,054 I... wish I could promise you that, 338 00:13:19,513 --> 00:13:21,717 but I couldn't stop myself from sleeping with Dina 339 00:13:21,771 --> 00:13:23,448 after I killed her birds. 340 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:26,135 Are you seriously saying you can't promise 341 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:27,919 to not sleep with one of your coworkers? 342 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,599 That's... that's pretty much what I'm saying. 343 00:13:32,169 --> 00:13:34,417 I don't care what they said. You are beautiful, 344 00:13:34,458 --> 00:13:36,697 you are sexy, and any guy would kill 345 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,056 for a night alone with you. 346 00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:39,491 All right, Mom, I gotta bounce. 347 00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:41,192 Say bye to Jonah. 348 00:13:41,194 --> 00:13:43,828 Bye, Mrs. White. It was nice to meet you. 349 00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:46,898 This whole hour has just flown by. 350 00:13:48,435 --> 00:13:50,101 Fish in the locker? 351 00:13:50,103 --> 00:13:51,770 What kind of bush-league crap is that? 352 00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:53,106 Well, I didn't put a lot of thought in it 353 00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:54,172 because I didn't want to do it. 354 00:13:54,174 --> 00:13:55,740 Okay, you're gonna need some help, 355 00:13:55,742 --> 00:13:58,176 so I'm willing to let you borrow this. 356 00:13:58,691 --> 00:14:00,791 Dina, you still have that bag of meth? 357 00:14:00,831 --> 00:14:02,714 We talked about this. You gotta turn that in. 358 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,216 Then what would I do in situations like this 359 00:14:04,217 --> 00:14:05,550 when I need a bag of meth? 360 00:14:05,552 --> 00:14:08,386 Okay, so, you're talking to Colleen, you casually... 361 00:14:09,017 --> 00:14:10,021 drop it at her feet. 362 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:12,757 I bring Amy by and, "Oh, Colleen", 363 00:14:13,462 --> 00:14:15,026 did this just fall out of your pocket?" 364 00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:17,729 And she's all, "What? That's not..." 365 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,297 and Amy's like, "Bup, bup, bup, Colleen. 366 00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:21,299 "I don't wanna hear it. You're fired. 367 00:14:21,301 --> 00:14:23,687 And on your way out, give that bag of meth back to Dina." 368 00:14:24,536 --> 00:14:26,236 All right, look. Dina, I wanna help you out, 369 00:14:26,326 --> 00:14:28,306 but this is a little extreme. 370 00:14:28,828 --> 00:14:30,768 You know, most reasonable people 371 00:14:30,888 --> 00:14:33,631 would expect one deed of penance per dead bird, 372 00:14:33,699 --> 00:14:37,518 and here I am very generously offering you a package deal. 373 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,837 All you have to do is plant some illegal drugs 374 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,555 on an innocent, but terrible woman. 375 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,455 It's supposed to be a pyramid. 376 00:14:46,457 --> 00:14:48,290 I think you, of all people, could handle that. 377 00:14:48,292 --> 00:14:51,219 - I'm Syrian, not Egyptian. - Clearly. 378 00:14:53,030 --> 00:14:55,898 Don't mind me... just making it not look like crap. 379 00:14:56,447 --> 00:14:57,633 Labels out. 380 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,035 Thank you. 381 00:15:02,115 --> 00:15:04,168 Sorry, she's not usually this bad. 382 00:15:04,709 --> 00:15:05,975 - [gasps] - Heavy stuff 383 00:15:05,977 --> 00:15:07,710 goes in the bottom... 384 00:15:07,986 --> 00:15:09,441 because of gravity. 385 00:15:09,881 --> 00:15:11,380 Well, I mean there's always the option 386 00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:13,549 of not hooking up with Colleen. 387 00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,751 Yeah, see, that just doesn't make any sense to me. 388 00:15:16,460 --> 00:15:17,526 I... 389 00:15:18,781 --> 00:15:20,720 J-bone! There you are, buddy. 390 00:15:21,690 --> 00:15:24,160 All right, I am ready to talk union. 391 00:15:24,162 --> 00:15:26,061 I was thinking we could do it over some hoops. 392 00:15:26,063 --> 00:15:29,165 Maybe some one-on-one, a little Horse, 393 00:15:29,914 --> 00:15:31,244 or just, like, run some passing drills? 394 00:15:31,245 --> 00:15:33,903 Uh, you know what, as... as much as I'd like to, um, 395 00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:36,806 to hoop with you, I gotta... 396 00:15:36,808 --> 00:15:38,274 Garrett needs me to help with the... 397 00:15:38,276 --> 00:15:40,176 - No, I don't. - Yeah, yeah, the... you know, 398 00:15:40,178 --> 00:15:42,511 the... the... the announcement that you... 399 00:15:42,513 --> 00:15:44,613 Already did it, man. You're good to go... hoop it up. 400 00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:48,350 - Oh... great, thanks, friend. - Anytime, buddy. 401 00:15:48,352 --> 00:15:50,519 Nice, let's do it! Shirts versus skins. 402 00:15:50,521 --> 00:15:52,388 - I'm wearing a shirt, so... - Okay, you know what, Marcus, 403 00:15:52,389 --> 00:15:53,989 no, I'm not doing this, okay? 404 00:15:53,991 --> 00:15:55,488 I know I'm supposed to go through you, 405 00:15:55,489 --> 00:15:57,089 but I'm just gonna go in there and I'm gonna talk 406 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,222 to the warehouse guys myself. 407 00:15:58,224 --> 00:15:59,195 You need me, okay? 408 00:15:59,197 --> 00:16:00,830 These guys don't relate to you. 409 00:16:00,832 --> 00:16:02,941 These guys don't listen to NPR 410 00:16:02,942 --> 00:16:04,700 and eat Faberge eggs for breakfast. 411 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:07,269 - I would hope nobody... - They respond to guys' guys. 412 00:16:07,271 --> 00:16:08,771 You know, guys who work with their hands, 413 00:16:08,773 --> 00:16:10,439 who know how to grill a burger. 414 00:16:10,441 --> 00:16:12,274 - Marcus... - The kind of guys 415 00:16:12,276 --> 00:16:14,677 who would chug a liter of barbecue sauce just 416 00:16:14,679 --> 00:16:17,513 - 'cause someone dared them to. - I disagree, all right? 417 00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:19,535 I think they are gonna listen to reason. 418 00:16:19,536 --> 00:16:21,116 You underestimate these guys. 419 00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:23,660 I'm gonna go in there and I'm not coming out until 420 00:16:23,661 --> 00:16:25,888 every single one of them signs these cards. 421 00:16:25,890 --> 00:16:27,890 Okay, but you're gonna fail. 422 00:16:27,892 --> 00:16:30,877 And I'll be there for you when you do, 'cause we're friends. 423 00:16:31,742 --> 00:16:34,143 Come on, Amy. There's a very angry customer 424 00:16:34,218 --> 00:16:35,717 and she only speaks Spanish, so, uh, 425 00:16:35,719 --> 00:16:37,652 - we need you to translate. - Get Cody to help. 426 00:16:37,654 --> 00:16:38,931 My Spanish isn't even that good. 427 00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:40,599 No, hers isn't either. That's why it has to be you. 428 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,200 I'm sure she's here somewhere. 429 00:16:42,726 --> 00:16:45,026 Oh, my God. These dogs in bathing suits 430 00:16:45,028 --> 00:16:46,684 make me really uncomfortable. 431 00:16:46,685 --> 00:16:48,396 Yeah, right? I mean, it's so weird. 432 00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:49,601 They should be wearing more tops 433 00:16:49,602 --> 00:16:51,138 'cause dogs have, like, ten nipples. 434 00:16:51,139 --> 00:16:53,702 Oh, so you know zoology and math? 435 00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:55,133 - Well... - You know what, 436 00:16:55,134 --> 00:16:57,263 get Cody to help, or give her a free slushie. 437 00:16:57,264 --> 00:16:59,403 Everyone speaks slushie. I don't have time for this. 438 00:17:01,545 --> 00:17:04,112 So, did you come over here to... 439 00:17:04,114 --> 00:17:06,113 ask me out, maybe? Or... 440 00:17:06,416 --> 00:17:08,278 are you just lurking, or... 441 00:17:08,324 --> 00:17:10,224 Yeah, um, sure. 442 00:17:10,453 --> 00:17:12,976 Did you want to get some tacos after work? 443 00:17:12,977 --> 00:17:16,068 - Yeah, I would. - Okay. 444 00:17:16,526 --> 00:17:18,950 All right, so, this turned into a date. 445 00:17:22,059 --> 00:17:24,465 Uh, hey... uh, guys? 446 00:17:24,885 --> 00:17:26,681 Guys... is it... is it all guys? 447 00:17:26,682 --> 00:17:29,238 We should probably talk about that, but, uh, another day. 448 00:17:29,511 --> 00:17:31,240 So, look. I get that there are 449 00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:33,763 probably some reservations about this whole union thing, 450 00:17:33,764 --> 00:17:37,058 you know, and yeah, I don't seem like you, 451 00:17:37,059 --> 00:17:38,794 you know, at first, because I'm more 452 00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:41,120 booksmart or... not even, not even smarter, 453 00:17:41,121 --> 00:17:43,478 just... just like, um, you know, better educated. 454 00:17:43,479 --> 00:17:45,492 Or... not better... gross, why would I... 455 00:17:45,494 --> 00:17:48,561 - What are you saying? - Uh, what I'm saying is, 456 00:17:48,563 --> 00:17:51,561 I get that this is a little scary, 457 00:17:51,634 --> 00:17:54,419 but what corporate is gonna do if we don't do this 458 00:17:54,569 --> 00:17:56,536 is even scarier, okay? 459 00:17:56,538 --> 00:17:59,827 So, you know, you, you, you, 460 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:02,809 you're all at risk of being replaced by machines. 461 00:18:02,811 --> 00:18:03,910 So I'm good? 462 00:18:04,472 --> 00:18:06,472 Uh, no, you're... you're at risk, too. 463 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,087 You didn't point at me. 464 00:18:08,089 --> 00:18:10,284 Okay, the pointing was arbitrary. 465 00:18:10,285 --> 00:18:12,845 All right, look, a union is our best shot 466 00:18:12,860 --> 00:18:15,788 at protecting our jobs. Okay, so who's with me? 467 00:18:16,558 --> 00:18:19,526 I don't know. Can we trust this guy? 468 00:18:19,528 --> 00:18:20,543 Honestly, I'm not sure. 469 00:18:20,544 --> 00:18:22,499 Guys, of course you can trust me, okay? 470 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,264 I'm... I'm... I'm a fighter. 471 00:18:24,266 --> 00:18:27,033 You know, we are... we are the same. 472 00:18:27,035 --> 00:18:28,668 We are the every man, you know? 473 00:18:28,670 --> 00:18:30,162 I... you... and we... we share... 474 00:18:30,163 --> 00:18:32,172 look, you wanna... you wanna watch me, uh, 475 00:18:32,174 --> 00:18:33,583 you wanna watch me chug this ranch? 476 00:18:33,584 --> 00:18:34,923 I'm gonna slam this ranch. 477 00:18:34,924 --> 00:18:36,708 Watch me slam this ranch! 478 00:18:37,012 --> 00:18:39,181 Okay. Mmm... 479 00:18:39,447 --> 00:18:41,982 [gulping] 480 00:18:46,494 --> 00:18:47,672 He's in my band. 481 00:18:48,597 --> 00:18:50,931 What do you mean you're going on a date with her? 482 00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:53,133 Well, it was either that or plant crystal meth on her. 483 00:18:53,254 --> 00:18:55,855 Okay, so in the whole world, those were your two options? 484 00:18:55,904 --> 00:18:57,212 It seemed like it at the time. 485 00:18:57,225 --> 00:18:59,660 Well, guess what I just heard 486 00:18:59,701 --> 00:19:02,302 from my dear friend Colleen? 487 00:19:02,304 --> 00:19:04,679 You two are going out. 488 00:19:06,227 --> 00:19:08,761 Well, it's true. I'm going out with Colleen. 489 00:19:08,910 --> 00:19:11,107 - [wheezes] - Oh man, Garrett. 490 00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:13,451 That is... messed up. 491 00:19:14,188 --> 00:19:16,887 You're gonna go out with Colleen to get her 492 00:19:16,912 --> 00:19:19,579 to fall in love with you just so you can break her heart? 493 00:19:19,888 --> 00:19:22,330 Wait... what are you talking about? 494 00:19:22,416 --> 00:19:24,349 Yeah. Yes, Amy, 495 00:19:24,351 --> 00:19:27,415 that's what I'm doing. I just felt so bad 496 00:19:27,809 --> 00:19:29,809 for what I did to your birds that I didn't think 497 00:19:29,811 --> 00:19:32,178 getting Colleen to quit was good enough. 498 00:19:32,327 --> 00:19:35,561 Wait, so all of this is just... a long con? 499 00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:38,705 - Oh, yeah. - I can't believe I fell for this. 500 00:19:38,707 --> 00:19:40,473 Of course you're not interested in Colleen. 501 00:19:40,475 --> 00:19:43,614 No one is. This is really good. 502 00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:45,478 All right, we gotta make sure you win her over. 503 00:19:45,639 --> 00:19:46,972 - Okay... - And forget tacos. 504 00:19:47,008 --> 00:19:48,581 You need to woo this woman. 505 00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,049 I'll make a reservation somewhere romantic 506 00:19:50,451 --> 00:19:52,618 and I'll give them my credit card. I mean, it's the least I can do 507 00:19:52,619 --> 00:19:55,008 - since you're doing this for me. - Oh, yeah, the least you could do. 508 00:19:55,009 --> 00:19:56,376 - Can't believe you. - Yeah. 509 00:19:56,377 --> 00:19:58,043 I can't believe him either. 510 00:19:58,045 --> 00:20:00,045 That's... totally... 511 00:20:01,079 --> 00:20:02,114 insane. 512 00:20:02,116 --> 00:20:04,689 Vendor, then item number, then delete. 513 00:20:04,877 --> 00:20:05,976 Allison. 514 00:20:07,388 --> 00:20:09,788 Uh, hey, Mateo. 515 00:20:09,903 --> 00:20:12,681 Um, you know how you've been helping everyone out... 516 00:20:12,793 --> 00:20:13,793 like, a lot? 517 00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:15,317 And you've really helped fill 518 00:20:15,318 --> 00:20:17,563 that Mateo-sized hole in the store. 519 00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:19,732 You guys, stop. I can't. 520 00:20:20,358 --> 00:20:22,234 - What? - It's too much. 521 00:20:22,236 --> 00:20:23,736 Okay, at first it was sweet, 522 00:20:23,738 --> 00:20:25,571 but now I'm just doing everyone's jobs for them 523 00:20:25,573 --> 00:20:27,106 and I'm not even getting paid. 524 00:20:27,341 --> 00:20:29,474 You took advantage of my greatest weakness... 525 00:20:29,682 --> 00:20:30,790 my enormous heart. 526 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,567 Have fun, you two. 527 00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:37,482 Get dessert. Order a nice bottle of wine. 528 00:20:37,484 --> 00:20:38,717 Splurge! 529 00:20:38,719 --> 00:20:41,321 So, great news. 530 00:20:41,322 --> 00:20:43,882 Crestwood's assistant manager had a pallet dropped on her. 531 00:20:44,157 --> 00:20:45,824 I mean, it's bad. She's gonna be fine. 532 00:20:45,826 --> 00:20:47,492 She's getting a ton of money. But I begged them 533 00:20:47,494 --> 00:20:49,474 to take Colleen, and they said yes. 534 00:20:49,730 --> 00:20:51,830 Wait, so Colleen's out of the store 535 00:20:51,832 --> 00:20:53,498 and Garrett's gonna break her heart? 536 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:54,859 Mm-hmm. 537 00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:57,335 This day just keeps getting better and better. 538 00:20:57,337 --> 00:21:01,488 Got the warehouse guys back on board without Marcus's help. 539 00:21:01,489 --> 00:21:02,874 - Oh, good. - Yep, yep. 540 00:21:02,876 --> 00:21:04,043 It turns out at the end of the day, 541 00:21:04,044 --> 00:21:05,315 people just wanna connect 542 00:21:05,316 --> 00:21:06,742 on a human level, you know? 543 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:09,714 Uh-huh. Uh, what's all over your shirt? 544 00:21:09,716 --> 00:21:12,183 That is... a gallon of ranch. 545 00:21:12,185 --> 00:21:14,097 I had to chug a gallon of ranch. 546 00:21:14,354 --> 00:21:16,187 Is that, uh... 547 00:21:16,189 --> 00:21:17,450 There it is. 548 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,413 - A bag of meth. - Ah. 549 00:21:23,047 --> 00:21:25,620 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com