1 00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:01,199 . 2 00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:02,796 - Would you just listen? - No. 3 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:03,596 - Yes! - No! 4 00:00:03,637 --> 00:00:05,337 - If we line up the voters this way, 5 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:08,143 they'll be shuttled towards the impulse buys. 6 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,276 - There are going to be millions of new customers in here, 7 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:11,811 and you're focused on the chewing gum? 8 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,505 Why not funnel them towards, I don't know, 9 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:14,517 the big-ticket stuff? 10 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:15,578 Get your head in the game. 11 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:16,816 - Oh, my head is in the game. 12 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,050 I've been here since 4:00 a.m. 13 00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,387 I've already had three meals. 14 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,261 - It's not even 7:00. That's too many meals. 15 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,330 - It's 7:00. We should open. 16 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,588 - Good idea. I'm on it. 17 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,396 Let the democratic process begin. 18 00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,358 - No, I'm in charge. 19 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:32,367 I get to let the voters in. 20 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,270 Let the democratic process begin. 21 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:37,273 - No, you messed it up. - I know what the code is. 22 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:38,605 - Yeah, but I already put in the first three digits. 23 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:39,809 - Okay, so what's clear? 24 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:40,840 - That's enter. You got to go back. 25 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,284 No! [alarm blaring] 26 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,480 Great. Three wrong codes, so now we have to wait 27 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,252 five minutes before we can try again. 28 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,420 - Yeah. Thanks, Dina. 29 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:51,419 I'm sorry. It'll be a few minutes. 30 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,556 [upbeat music] 31 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,489 * 32 00:00:57,525 --> 00:01:00,455 - Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, Election Day is here, 33 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:02,164 and we're offering up big discounts 34 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,096 on all American-made products. 35 00:01:04,132 --> 00:01:06,172 So that's 40% off your generic medications, 36 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,170 inferior electronics, and cheese curls. 37 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,443 - What is a comptroller? 38 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:13,472 - Something to do with computers, I think. 39 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:17,277 - Really? Or do those two words just sound the same? 40 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,881 - They sound the same. - Yeah. 41 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,382 Doesn't mean it's not true, though. 42 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,445 - What is this? 43 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:28,094 - "Official Cloud 9 Election Guide." 44 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,893 - They're trying to tell us who to vote for! 45 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,394 - I don't know what you're complaining about. 46 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,386 I love getting mail. 47 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,197 - You don't think it's a little misleading? 48 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,199 For State Senator: 49 00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,270 "Jack Peterson supports your right to work," 50 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,669 which is basically just another way of saying "anti-union." 51 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:43,601 - Let's not use the U-word. 52 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,607 - While Gary 'Slick' Langham"-- - "Slick." 53 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:48,679 They're actually using the nickname his opponent gave him. 54 00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:52,279 - Langham "has never gone on record as being pro-America." 55 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,653 - What's his problem? 56 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,681 - Glenn, it just seems really shady. 57 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,616 Are they even allowed to do this? 58 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:58,821 - Come on. 59 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,492 It's not like anyone around here ever reads anything anyway. 60 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,662 - Yeah, we do! - That's ridiculous. 61 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,160 - Oh? What was the emergency safety memo 62 00:02:05,193 --> 00:02:06,493 I sent out last week about? 63 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,357 - Um... - The... 64 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,156 - See? Relax. 65 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,498 It'll be fine. 66 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,672 By the way, the answer was the building got an F 67 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,601 in tornado preparedness. 68 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:19,606 The inspector says this place is a house of cards. 69 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,480 - Hey. I'm just reminding everyone to vote. 70 00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:23,579 We want a 100% employee turnout. 71 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,281 A lot of people died so you could vote. 72 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,323 Also, a lot of horses died. 73 00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:29,178 We always forget about the horses. 74 00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,577 - Oh, I'm not 18 yet. 75 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:34,258 You know, it's funny. I can drink, but I can't vote. 76 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,658 - Well, I'll be definitely getting my vote on. 77 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:38,290 Hey! 78 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,286 - Okay, good. 79 00:02:39,327 --> 00:02:41,527 Also, voting time is unpaid. 80 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,432 Nobody paid those horses to die. 81 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,369 - Cheyenne, can you keep a secret? 82 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,471 - Oh, my God. Not really, but go. 83 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,413 - Okay. [exhales] 84 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:57,280 A few months ago, I found out that I'm actually undocumented. 85 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,311 - Oh. - Yeah. 86 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:02,277 - Okay. 87 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,976 I don't know what that means. 88 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,417 - It means that I'm an illegal alien. 89 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,559 No, I'm-- I'm human, 90 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,432 who happens to live in the country illegally. 91 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:16,802 - Oh. That's your secret? 92 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,430 I thought you were gonna tell me about how you're dating Jeff. 93 00:03:19,467 --> 00:03:22,237 - Wait. You know about that? 94 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,240 - Yeah, but don't worry. 95 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,311 I only told my baby, 96 00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:26,568 and she's not gonna tell anybody. 97 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,577 She doesn't have any friends. 98 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,679 - Well, it doesn't matter anyway. 99 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,251 When Dina finds out I can't vote, 100 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,250 she'll figure out what's going on and fire me. 101 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:37,392 - Oh, you can't just get one of those "I voted" stickers 102 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,318 and say that you voted? 103 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,423 - Oh. Yeah. Right. 104 00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,326 Chey! 105 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,988 You are so much smarter than what I tell people. 106 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,327 - Aww, thank you. 107 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:52,333 So, do you love Jeff? 108 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,736 - Shut up. I don't know. Maybe. 109 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,638 - * Your mommy's all right 110 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,370 * Your daddy's all right 111 00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,606 * They just seem a little weird * 112 00:04:01,642 --> 00:04:04,712 * Surrender, surrender 113 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,005 - Oh, gosh, Syd, I guess if I was pressed, 114 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,477 I'd have to say 115 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:11,286 Buzz Aldrin, Bruce Lee, or Murphy Brown. 116 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,489 - Beep. Beep. Java truck comin' through. 117 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,691 - What're you doing? 118 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:18,062 - American coffee for these American heroes. 119 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,361 Actually, the beans are from Rwanda, 120 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:23,634 but the water's from the good ol' faucet in the men's room. 121 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,434 - Well, as I'm sure Syd here will tell you, 122 00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:26,796 you can't give poll workers gifts. 123 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,544 That's called bribery. 124 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:29,599 - Oh, that's okay. 125 00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,567 Actually, I usually have a Danish with my coffee. 126 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:33,566 both: Oh. 127 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:36,037 - Yum. - So do I. Yeah. 128 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:38,646 - Fine, I guess I'll go buy myself a Danish. 129 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,809 - Have a heavenly snack. - Enjoy it. 130 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:41,818 - Yeah. 131 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,349 Could you move? 132 00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:44,724 - [imitating] Oh, hi, I'm Glenn. 133 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:48,322 I really want these poll workers to love me. 134 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,316 - I'm not the one throwing myself at Syd 135 00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:51,788 like some kind of cigarette girl. 136 00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,585 - Oh, please. - Yeah, please--move! 137 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,697 - No, I'm sitting here. - I'm putting this here. 138 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,898 - No, well, put it somewhere else! 139 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,599 Find somewhere else for it go. - No, I'm putting it there. 140 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,831 - Aah, it's hot! 141 00:04:58,866 --> 00:05:00,466 [whispering] What did you do? 142 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:03,301 - I didn't do it! You did it with your tushy! 143 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,405 [both gasp] 144 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,412 - Damn it. Distract them. 145 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,413 - What? 146 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,384 * 147 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,883 - It's totally slanted. 148 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,654 They're just pushing the pro-business, 149 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:16,683 anti-worker candidates. 150 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:20,347 - What? A corporation doing something unethical? 151 00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:21,688 To protect its interests? 152 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:22,862 This is shocking! 153 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,660 - All right. Maybe Glenn's right. 154 00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:25,862 Maybe it doesn't matter. 155 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:27,463 Hey, Marcus? 156 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:28,755 Who did you vote for for state senate? 157 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:29,596 - Jack Peterson. 158 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,900 He's pro-freedom and anti-bad guys, 159 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,442 and those are two things I can get behind. 160 00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,568 Hey, are we still on for drinks tonight? 161 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:37,714 - Please stop asking us. - No. 162 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:38,708 - We never were. - Ah, cool. 163 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,469 Well, we'll figure it out later. 164 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,142 - God, people will believe anything 165 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,446 with the word "official" on it. 166 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:46,449 [gasps] 167 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,720 Do you know what we should do? 168 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,379 No, never mind. It's stupid. 169 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:51,818 No, I'm gonna say it. 170 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,462 We should make our own pamphlet with the truth. 171 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,459 - Ooh. 172 00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,830 - A rogue pamphlet? 173 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,389 You're crazy, lady. 174 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,658 - I think that's a great idea, 175 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,495 and I have layout experience. 176 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,471 I was the editor-- - Editor on your high school-- 177 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:06,899 - I already told you that story. Forget it. 178 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,874 I am in. - Me too! 179 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,902 - Couldn't be less interested. 180 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,908 - Hey, should we invite Sandra to drinks tonight? 181 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,910 Or is it just the core four? 182 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,609 You guys are busy. 183 00:06:17,645 --> 00:06:19,505 Everyone's busy. 184 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,424 - [clears throat] 185 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,979 Could I just snag one of these stickers? 186 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,786 - Oh, these are just for people who voted. 187 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:25,918 Are you voting? 188 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,763 - I would, but I just don't like any of the candidates. 189 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,489 Trump's all like-- [makes fart noise] 190 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,594 and Hillary's all-- [makes a different fart noise] 191 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,697 Anyway, enough politics. I just need a sticker. 192 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:39,629 - Well, I'm sure the store sells stickers. 193 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,437 - I'm not just trying to collect stickers. 194 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,869 I'm a grown man. 195 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,473 Oh, my God-- is that James Brolin? 196 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,736 - Who? 197 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,805 - Barbra Streisand's husband? 198 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,653 Josh Brolin's dad? 199 00:06:51,679 --> 00:06:55,649 Diane Lane's ex-father-in-law? Am I crazy? 200 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,553 Sir, you know who James Brolin is, right? 201 00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,785 - What's he running for? 202 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,649 - Oh, my God. 203 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,615 [scoffs] 204 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,557 [hair dryer whooshing] 205 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,804 - Oh, yeah. That's drying up real nice. 206 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,599 Did you write yourself in for attorney general? 207 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:14,002 - Could've been anyone. 208 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,704 Come on. Hurry up. 209 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:18,836 You know we got to get these back before anyone notices. 210 00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,242 - You know what I just realized? 211 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,513 There's, like, 50 ballots here. 212 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:23,943 That could change the outcome of a close election, 213 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:24,907 and Missouri's a swing state, 214 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,615 so we could be changing the course of history. 215 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,818 - You think so? - Sure. Think about it. 216 00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,820 Right now, you and I could be setting into effect 217 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,023 a chain of events that could cause 218 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,824 the colonization of Mars or World War III 219 00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,557 and billions of innocent deaths. 220 00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:40,733 [chuckles] 221 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,561 You know, it's funny, I try so hard to keep 222 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:45,926 God out of the workplace, and yet, here I am, 223 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,666 in the workplace, 224 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,072 and I am God. 225 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,613 [crashing] 226 00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:52,709 What are you doing? 227 00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:55,480 - We need to speed this up. 228 00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,650 - No, turn it off! - I'm trying! 229 00:07:58,679 --> 00:07:59,979 Oh! Oh! 230 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,083 Come back! 231 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,986 [seedy music] 232 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:06,849 * 233 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,087 - Well, the ballots are clearly gone. 234 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:11,761 - Okay. We're just gonna have to face the music and tell Syd. 235 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,832 - We tampered with an election. Do you know how serious that is? 236 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,661 - It was a goof-up! 237 00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:16,726 - We have to cover our tracks. 238 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:17,734 We've got to come up with an alibi 239 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:18,825 for what we've been doing all day. 240 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:20,196 - Okay, uh... 241 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,571 We were in my office. 242 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,743 And we were working. - Too vague. 243 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,812 The more specific the lie, the more believable it is. 244 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,910 Okay, we were in your office because you were telling me 245 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:30,943 about the affair you've been having 246 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,008 with your dental hygienist. 247 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,545 She likes when you dance for her. 248 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:35,321 - I do not want to be having an affair! 249 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,648 - Do you want to go to jail? - No! 250 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,024 - Then you've been dancing for Shelley! 251 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,791 - All right, fine! - Okay. 252 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,290 I'll erase the security cam footage. 253 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,961 You need to find a field at least an hour's drive from here 254 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,560 and bury that ballot box, and I mean bury it deep. 255 00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,933 Then we can never, ever, ever tell anyone-- 256 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:51,801 - Hey! 257 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,238 - Not to put my head in the lion's mouth, 258 00:08:57,270 --> 00:09:00,910 but now I'm thinking Times New Roman. 259 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,741 - Times New Roman would be a fine font, Jonah, 260 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,807 and so would Helvetica and Garamond, 261 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:11,017 and really any font would be just fine. 262 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,251 - Not Wingdings. 263 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,655 - No one was suggesting Wingdings. 264 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,318 - Oh, you guys looking at porn? 265 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,856 - What? No. We're making the pamphlet. 266 00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,962 - Wow! And they said it couldn't be done. 267 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,965 But lo and behold, here you are doing it, 268 00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:26,828 making a pamphlet! 269 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,867 - I feel like he's mocking us. 270 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,242 Ooh, what about Palatino? 271 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,641 - Oh, Palatino's nice, actually. 272 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:34,814 - You watching porn? 273 00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,612 - Yup. - Mm. 274 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:39,014 Oh, I know that girl. 275 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,353 - Guess who got a sticker. 276 00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:43,982 - Oh, my God, really? 277 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,017 [exclaims] 278 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,015 - I made it myself. 279 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,727 - [chuckles] 280 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,733 Yeah. 281 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,962 I appreciate it. 282 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,397 The thought, not the sticker, 283 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,402 because it's useless. 284 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,004 It's garbage. 'Kay? 285 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:09,739 - * 'Cause we are living in a material world * 286 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:12,107 * And I am a material girl 287 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,075 * You know that we are living 288 00:10:15,883 --> 00:10:18,093 - Hey, girl. - Hey. 289 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,918 - Bitching color, boo. - I know, right? 290 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,424 - Yeah, really brings out the blueness of her veins. 291 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,756 Listen, I've been thinking about it a lot lately, 292 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:29,733 and I have decided that you are my best friend in the store. 293 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,673 - Me? Really? - Yeah. 294 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:36,440 - Okay, well, you're nice too. 295 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,039 - Yeah, I am nice. 296 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,371 Anyway, I've been thinking about it, 297 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:40,936 and I feel like we should just have 298 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,884 a good old-fashioned girlfriend gabfest. 299 00:10:42,910 --> 00:10:43,880 [laughs] 300 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,311 Maybe you could tell me if you've seen or heard 301 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,675 anything suspicious recently. 302 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:48,975 - Mm. Suspicious? 303 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,446 - Yeah, you know, like... I don't know... 304 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,394 if you know of anybody doing anything illegal. 305 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:55,391 Dish, girlfriend! 306 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:58,862 [both chuckle] 307 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,802 - Mm. Um, no. 308 00:11:02,830 --> 00:11:04,160 - Really? 309 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,727 'Cause, you know, there's nothing I hate more 310 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,366 than when my best friends lie to me. 311 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,468 - Okay, I have to go. 312 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,474 I have to pee really bad. 313 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,005 Excuse me. 314 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,341 - You want me to come with? 315 00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,845 That's what best girlfriends do, right? 316 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:21,820 - Do you think she knows? - It's hard to say. 317 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:25,489 She's either playing dumb or just is. 318 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,718 - Jack Peterson is anti-union, anti-worker, 319 00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:31,116 but Gary Langham wants to raise minimum wage-- 320 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:33,988 - And expand sick days. - Paid sick days. 321 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,057 [hip-hop music] 322 00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,155 - * This is how you start a party * 323 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,496 - * Start a party - * Hey, hey 324 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,101 - * This is how you start a party * 325 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,973 - * Start a party - * Ow! 326 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,842 - * This is how you start a party * 327 00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,811 - * Start a party, yeah - * Hey, hey 328 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,009 - I don't know about youse guys, 329 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,880 but I'm fed up with these corporate fat cats. 330 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,850 - Not all warehouse workers are from 1950s Brooklyn. 331 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,120 - You know what, I'm fed up with these corporate fat cats too. 332 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,978 I'll take one of those. - Hey! 333 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,447 - * Beaucoup bottles on the counter * 334 00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,145 - * On the counter, yo - * Hey 335 00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,857 - * This is how you start a party * 336 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,030 - She's a good broad, huh? - And you're a good guy, Jonah. 337 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,528 - Thank you very much. I appreciate it. 338 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,130 - * We about to start the party * 339 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,802 - * Start the party 340 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:11,801 - * Hey 341 00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,102 - You really think Dina knows? 342 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:17,103 - Maybe. She asked me a lot of weird questions. 343 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,237 - The stupid poll worker lady is guarding those stickers 344 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,782 like it's her last tub of Activia. 345 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,939 - Oh, hey. Mateo, did you vote? 346 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:27,917 - Oh, my God. Why is everyone obsessed with voting today? 347 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:28,918 - Oh. 348 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:29,979 - [sighs] 349 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,090 - [in Brooklyn accent] So then, I take the L train 350 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:40,063 from the docks to my mother's house in Flatbush. 351 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,133 - [in Brooklyn accent] Hey, youse a good kid, 352 00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,101 respecting your mother like that. 353 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,460 - Yeah, but sometimes, you got to say, 354 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,397 "Hey, Ma, I'm going out with the fellas." 355 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,543 - Yeah. - "I'll see you at church." 356 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,438 - Oh, your guy's religious. 357 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,540 - No, he goes to church 358 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,171 to respect his mother's old-world values. 359 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,106 - Sure. - Obviously. 360 00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,282 - [laughs] - That's the story. 361 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,010 - You know, don't take this the wrong way, 362 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,476 but I feel like you've become a lot more fun 363 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:02,824 since I've known you. 364 00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,080 - Thanks. 365 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,317 And if I may return the compliment, 366 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:08,292 I think you've become marginally less annoying. 367 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,321 - [in Brooklyn accent] Hey, hey, hey. 368 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,356 Don't make me blush in front of the fellas, huh? 369 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,061 - [laughs] 370 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,429 - Hey, Syd. Everything all right? 371 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:18,574 You were in there a while. 372 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,198 - Yeah, it's okay. 373 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,103 - We just wanted to make sure 374 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,044 there were enough poll workers out there, 375 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,170 'cause, you know, we wouldn't want any voter fraud to happen. 376 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,566 - Even though, as I keep telling him, 377 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,437 there's almost no voter fraud in this country. 378 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,606 I mean, it's not worth the penalty of, um... 379 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,215 - $10,000 and five years in prison. 380 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,124 - Did you say "prison"? 381 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,192 Or "prism"? - Why would he say "prism"? 382 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,521 What's five years in prism? 383 00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,415 - Let him answer. 384 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:45,827 - Prison. 385 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:50,226 - With an N or an M? - Oh, my God. 386 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,103 - So then I rip up my note cards. 387 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,203 - No. 388 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:58,144 - And say, "Fellow students, forget these note cards." 389 00:13:58,171 --> 00:13:59,241 - Going rogue. 390 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,112 - "I'm going to speak from my heart." 391 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,282 - Okay. 392 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,150 - And then, from the back of the auditorium, Renee yells-- 393 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,279 - No. Mm-mm. 394 00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:08,654 - "Those cards are blank!" 395 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,121 - Oh! Renee is the worst. 396 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,491 - I haven't even told you about the Winter Ball story-- 397 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,119 - Surprise! 398 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:16,424 - Oh, hey. Hi. 399 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,886 What are you-- what are you doing here? 400 00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,625 - You said you'd help me pick out some towels. 401 00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,430 Oh, hi. I'm Naomi. 402 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,372 - Oh, Naomi, this is Amy. She's my boss. 403 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:27,898 Amy, this is Naomi. She--we're-- 404 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,565 - Oh, it's okay. We don't have to label it yet. 405 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,573 It's nice to meet you. 406 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,414 - You too. As well. 407 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:36,535 Yeah. 408 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,546 - Naomi works the cheese booth 409 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,178 at the farmers market by my house. 410 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,254 - Yes, the cheese booth, not the soap booth. 411 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:44,253 - [laughs] 412 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:45,654 I forgot about that guy! 413 00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:47,185 "Where's the soap booth?" 414 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,420 - [laughing] Yeah. 415 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,455 - This guy sounds crazy. 416 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,395 - So do you have time now? 417 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,268 - Yeah, well-- Amy, is it cool if I help Naomi 418 00:14:58,298 --> 00:14:59,268 pick out some stuff for her apartment, 419 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,529 and then we'll do the pamphlet stuff after? 420 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,398 - Yeah. Of course that's cool. 421 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:06,436 Wow, a new apartment. A new man. 422 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,513 It's a good time to be Naomi, hey? 423 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:11,181 - [laughs] Yeah. Thanks. 424 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,612 - Okay. All right. 425 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,617 - Oh, my God. 426 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:28,634 [groaning] 427 00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:36,243 - Rats gave birth in the nacho cheese. 428 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,399 Cooked themselves to death. 429 00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,450 - Thank you. 430 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:51,324 [gagging] 431 00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,251 - * Downtown the young ones are growing * 432 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,357 * We're the kids in America 433 00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:58,589 - Hey, Marcus! 434 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:02,725 Hey... you've been to prison, right? 435 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,202 - Yeah. I mean, like, barely. 436 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:07,232 Long enough to form lifelong friendships. 437 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:11,267 - How do you think a guy like me would do in there? 438 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,014 - Baby face. Kind eyes. 439 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,411 Soft skin. Cute tummy. 440 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,783 You'd be very popular. 441 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,280 - Oh. Well, that's good. 442 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,283 - No, that's bad. 443 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:22,354 That's very bad. 444 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:23,552 - Oh. 445 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,783 Let's say, hypothetically, 446 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,717 that two people accidentally committed a crime. 447 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,664 There may have been a witness. 448 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,359 - Okay, well, if it were me, 449 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,391 I guess I'd get my partner to confess on tape. 450 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,656 That way, if it went south, 451 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,634 you could trade that in for a reduced sentence. 452 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,373 That's what my mom did to me. 453 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,598 - Huh. 454 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:41,603 Okay. 455 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,044 Thanks. 456 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,739 - Hey, Marcus. You've been to prison, right? 457 00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:52,675 - Oh-ho-ho. Look who's in demand today. 458 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,912 - It screams you, actually. 459 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,646 Yeah, that's a very "you" towel. - Okay, you can have that one. 460 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:57,653 - No? All right. 461 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:58,754 - Did you guys meet Naomi? 462 00:16:58,785 --> 00:16:59,585 She's super cute. 463 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,389 - Yeah, she's really cute for Jonah. 464 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,762 - Do you think they're serious? 465 00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,790 - Oh, yeah. They've had sex, like, 11 times. 466 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,385 - Really? - I don't know. 467 00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,297 Why would I know that? 468 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:11,398 - You okay, sweetie? You seem stressed. 469 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,601 - Oh. Oh. 470 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,773 My shoulders are so tight. 471 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,568 What are you doing? 472 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:25,583 - I was trying to feel your breasts. 473 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:30,749 - Maybe he's drunk. 474 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,453 There's a lot of drunk people here. 475 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,358 [upbeat music] 476 00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,589 - Attention, my fellow Americans. 477 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,194 I just noticed something on the ballot about a "Supertrain." 478 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:41,257 I'm not sure what it is, 479 00:17:41,294 --> 00:17:43,804 but it sounds more powerful than a normal train. 480 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,270 Let's make this happen, people. 481 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,628 Vote Supertrain. 482 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,396 - Testing. 483 00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,435 - Hey, you wanted to see me? 484 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,539 - Yeah. Come on in. 485 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,284 I thought we should talk about 486 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:58,279 all the stuff that went on today. 487 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:00,411 - Yeah. Actually, I was thinking the same thing. 488 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,377 It would be great to just get on the same page. 489 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,115 - So, Dina Fox. 490 00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:05,922 What time is it? 491 00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:10,222 4:17 on November 8th, 2016, right? 492 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,517 - Yeah. Crazy day, especially given 493 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:13,528 all the things you did, Glenn Sturgis, 494 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,200 son of Arthur and Marian Sturgis. 495 00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,331 - Hey. 496 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:23,296 I'm sorry. I didn't know Naomi was coming in today. 497 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,636 - No, it's-- I mean, it's totally fine. 498 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,171 I was just surprised. 499 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,466 I didn't even know you were dating anyone. 500 00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:29,177 - Oh. 501 00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:32,679 Is that something that I'm supposed to inform you about or? 502 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,312 - No! No, I don't care. 503 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,177 I was just making conversation. 504 00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:39,554 - So the new shift starts soon. 505 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:41,586 Do you want me to just hand these out as people clock in-- 506 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,461 - Oh, do you know what? 507 00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:43,459 Actually, I got someone else to help. 508 00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,260 - Hey, you're gonna vote how I tell you to vote, 509 00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,363 or I swear to God, 510 00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:48,664 I'm gonna put a cricket in your house, 511 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,225 and you'll never know where it is, 512 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,603 and it'll drive you crazy. 513 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:52,571 - Marcus? 514 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:55,399 - Yeah. Well, you were busy, and, you know, 515 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,495 I figured your shift is over, so... 516 00:18:57,537 --> 00:19:00,667 - Yeah. Yeah, no. Cool. 517 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,437 Okay, then, I'm gonna clock out. 518 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,276 - Yeah. See you tomorrow. - Okay. 519 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:12,924 - We're gonna vote right now. - Put me down! My bones! 520 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:14,922 Put me down! 521 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,624 - He's such an idiot. 522 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,961 - Okay. Don't ask me any questions, 523 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,232 but I want to buy your sticker. 524 00:19:22,262 --> 00:19:23,362 I can't tell you why. 525 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,698 - Okay. 526 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:29,243 - It's just, you know, it's kind of a secret. 527 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:32,209 - I absolutely do not care. 528 00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:33,669 Excuse me. 529 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,244 - It's kind of a long story. - Do not care. 530 00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:38,547 - Okay. 531 00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:39,708 [both laughing] 532 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,646 - You know, that's funny, because I distinctly remembered 533 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,921 you destroying the ballots, Glenn Sturgis. 534 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,320 - Well, that's really funny, because how could I have? 535 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:49,463 I was in my office all day long... 536 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,259 having an affair with my dental hygienist, Shelley. 537 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,762 - Excuse me. 538 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,533 - Just wanted to let you know I voted. 539 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,562 - We're having a casual conversation! 540 00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:00,467 - Get out! - Okay. 541 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,270 [upbeat music] 542 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,313 - District 35, where we are projecting 543 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,568 pro-labor candidate Gary Langham will prevail. 544 00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,937 - Yes! Yes! 545 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:14,407 We did it! We got Langham elected! 546 00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,387 - Ames! Did you see? 547 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,389 - Yes! - We did it! 548 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,560 - I know! It's amazing! 549 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,289 - Oh, it's such a rush. Thank you for involving me. 550 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,364 - No, thank you! We made a good team. 551 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:29,363 - We did, didn't we? - Yeah, we did. 552 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,733 - Ew, no. Marcus, what the hell? 553 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,304 - What? I thought this was, like, 554 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,433 a flirty thing we were doing. 555 00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,697 - No. - I'm so sorry. Wow. 556 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:40,636 I totally misread that. Ugh. 557 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:44,713 - I mean, it's okay. I just--I was just startled. 558 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,014 I was just a little-- Marcus! 559 00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,315 - You just said it's okay. 560 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,422 - Hey, Dorothy. - Uh-huh? 561 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,724 - We're missing 53 ballots. 562 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,386 - Really? 563 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,586 Jeez, that's way down from last time. 564 00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:03,328 - [laughs] 565 00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:06,833 - Just tell me what you did. - No, you tell me what you did! 566 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:07,796 - Fine. 567 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,344 I, Glenn Sturgis, deliberately destroyed-- 568 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:11,500 - No, I'm Glenn! 569 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,438 - 50 United States ballots. - Stop making me say that! 570 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,483 - And then I covered it up, which is dumb, because I'm dumb. 571 00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:17,579 - I'm Dina Fox! Dina Fox! 572 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:18,850 - Also, I have a tiny penis, and my wife hates my guts! 573 00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,578 - And I destroyed the ballots 'cause I'm a big, stupid meanie!