1 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:04,004 . 2 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,011 ♪ 3 00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:18,801 - Evening. What can I get you? 4 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:22,413 - Oh, just the usual. 5 00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:26,504 - Oh, roger that, little honey. 6 00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:30,073 You know, talking on the CB, 7 00:00:30,117 --> 00:00:33,337 you know, pulling the little string to beep the horn. 8 00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,600 - You know, uh, you've been coming in here 9 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,689 every night since I started here, 10 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:39,387 so I just wanted to let you know 11 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,042 that tonight is my last night. 12 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,566 Uh, where you going? 13 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:47,438 - Back to my old job. This was just temporary. 14 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,700 A few months ago, 15 00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:51,181 a coworker and I were suspended for-- 16 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,748 - I don't need to hear the details! 17 00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:54,706 Thank you. 18 00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,579 - I've got this manager, 19 00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,059 great guy. 20 00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:01,365 - Aw. 21 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,715 I bet he misses you. 22 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,456 I bet he would have done anything 23 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,328 to see you while you were gone. 24 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:10,592 - He was allowed to see me if he wanted. 25 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:14,509 better safe than sorry. 26 00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:17,077 You know, um... 27 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,210 Well, I better get back to the big rig. 28 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:23,387 You know, the road is calling. 29 00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:26,738 Thanks for the company. 30 00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,566 - Yep, and, um... 31 00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:32,614 thank you for always tipping 20 bucks 32 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:34,790 on a $2 coffee that you never drink. 33 00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:38,402 - Yeah... ten-four, good buddy. 34 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:42,493 - Hope I get to see you around sometime. 35 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:47,324 Might be sooner than you think. 36 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:52,286 ♪ 37 00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,245 - Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers-- 38 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:56,812 it's "back to school" time, 39 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,901 so check out our discounts on notebooks, 40 00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,859 pencils, art supplies, rulers, 41 00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:03,819 dictionaries, weekly planners, and calculators. 42 00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:07,649 Or you guys can just use your phones for all that stuff. 43 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:10,478 At least Black Friday's only a day. 44 00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:12,784 This... this is two weeks 45 00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:15,178 of watching ugly kids try on pants. 46 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,528 - And I cannot wait for all the crap 47 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,530 we're gonna get for our sex tape. 48 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,361 'Cause it wasn't on tape. 49 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:27,147 It was more like a sex stream. 50 00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,800 - Oh, no, sex stream's something else. 51 00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:30,498 That involves a stepladder and a tarp. 52 00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:31,934 - Everyone's gonna be like, 53 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:34,284 "Oh, better keep these two out of the photo lab." 54 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,808 Or like, "Uh, why aren't you guys together now?" 55 00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:39,811 No. 56 00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:42,466 - Oh, okay. 57 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,642 Why aren't you guys together now? 58 00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,862 Like, if some dummy asks that question... 59 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:48,646 what would you say to her? 60 00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:50,213 - I don't know-- for starters, 61 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,215 the fact that I'm extremely pregnant 62 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,261 with my ex-husband's child is not a great time 63 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,740 to start a new relationship. 64 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,612 - I'm not letting my pregnancy slow me down. 65 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,962 I'm banging my way through my whole indoor-soccer team... 66 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:01,572 and the refs. 67 00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,226 - If you do decide to have sex again, 68 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,488 just check for cameras. 69 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:05,794 - We're not-- 70 00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,274 - Or have sex on a green sheet. 71 00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,319 That way, you can superimpose yourself 72 00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:12,627 doing it on a magic carpet or in outer space. 73 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,672 Bo did that for our anniversary. 74 00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,326 - The bed of my truck is always available. 75 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:17,893 I'm happy to drive around the whole time. 76 00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:20,243 Less likely somebody will film you. 77 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:23,855 - These are all excellent ideas, thank you. 78 00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:26,771 - So Amy and Jonah are back. 79 00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,513 That's got to be a real kick in your crotch. 80 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:30,993 - No, it's fine. 81 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:33,561 I mean, I thought that it would feel weird 82 00:03:33,604 --> 00:03:34,866 to see Jonah again, 83 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,260 but I actually think that I'm over it. 84 00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,697 - You're over it. 85 00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:42,352 That's boring. 86 00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,528 - Uh... 87 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,835 thanks for checking in, though! 88 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,838 [The Go-Go's "Vacation" playing over speakers] 89 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:54,234 ♪ 90 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,888 - Okay. So, Sara, I need you to keep cycling out the bins. 91 00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,934 Mateo, if you could move salvage off the floor, 92 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:01,371 you can just stick it in the... 93 00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,894 in the p-photo lab. 94 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,679 - Photo lab. Okay, you got it. 95 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:10,380 - Okay. Um... 96 00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:12,817 Carol and Justine, I'm moving you to school supplies. 97 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,515 We need to keep everything organized this year, 98 00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,343 or we're gonna get screwed. 99 00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:18,954 Okay. Sorry, that was a poor choice of words. 100 00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:22,566 - School supplies! Got it. - Sure thing, Amy. 101 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,307 - Okay... 102 00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:27,528 Um... 103 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,660 let's just make sure that everything is restocked 104 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,401 at all times. 105 00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,925 We--we don't want to get caught with our pants down. 106 00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:35,536 - Mm. - Mm. 107 00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,321 Huh. 108 00:04:39,670 --> 00:04:41,498 - No, nothing's funny. Nothing's funny. 109 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,631 This is going so much better than I thought. 110 00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:46,547 - You're literally just reading words off a clipboard. 111 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:49,637 - Oh, hey, no, no, no, no, no. 112 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:51,508 Have you met J 113 00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:53,684 - Oh, we're calling you J 114 00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:54,946 This makes me happy. 115 00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:58,341 - This guy shreds ass. - Mm-hmm. 116 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,561 - You want to learn how to shred ass, you go see J-Bone. 117 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:04,086 - I-I'm not--there's... better people. 118 00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,306 - Hey! So give us the scoop, J-Bone. 119 00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,351 Sex with Amy, was it awesome? 120 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,613 - You know, I-- 121 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,311 we don't really need to talk about this. 122 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,703 'Cause the sex sucked? 123 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,531 It did kind of look like it sucked. 124 00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:15,967 - No, it didn't suck. It-- 125 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,492 - Yeah! I knew it! I knew it didn't suck! 126 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:21,451 Oh, yeah! Yeah, baby! 127 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,018 You get it, girl. - Yeah! In and out! 128 00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:24,933 Your body is a wonderland! 129 00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:26,978 - You're enjoying this sex, aren't you? 130 00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:28,589 - Mateo! 131 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:30,373 - Ugh. He's back. 132 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,853 - Oh, he's such a thirsty bitch. 133 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:32,854 - I know... 134 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,464 - Hey, there he is! 135 00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,074 At first, I was like, "Is that Mateo or the Rock?" 136 00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,641 - Hi, Jeff. 137 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,730 What brings you to the store...again? 138 00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,645 - Yeah, for someone who works at corporate, 139 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:42,994 you're here a lot. 140 00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:45,040 - Well, I'm not gonna forget about my peeps 141 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,520 just 'cause I got promoted. 142 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,391 I mean, I can still stop by now and then. 143 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,394 - Isn't it, like, a five-hour drive from Chicago? 144 00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:53,483 - Not on a corporate jet. 145 00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,007 Which I didn't take this time, 146 00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:58,009 but I have seen the corporate jet. 147 00:05:58,053 --> 00:06:00,011 Really cool wings. 148 00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,927 Anyway, uh, if you guys ever wanted to come visit me, 149 00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,712 I'd love to show you around Chi-Town. 150 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,670 They've got some great museums, I think, 151 00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,498 and, you know, if it's a fun night, 152 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:09,891 I've got a big place, you could stay over-- 153 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,849 - Jeff, I've moved on. 154 00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:14,025 - Okay, I've moved on, too. 155 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,941 God, get over yourself. 156 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,857 I am doing very well. 157 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,642 So, anyways, let me give you guys my business card. 158 00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,731 Just give me a call for-- any reason is fine, of course. 159 00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:25,733 I'm always here to help. 160 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,040 Are you not gonna... 161 00:06:29,084 --> 00:06:30,825 Only 'cause if-- 162 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:32,696 I get a finite amount, and they eventually-- 163 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,437 It starts to come out of my paycheck. 164 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,047 You know, I'm gonna go ahead and take it back now. Okay. 165 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:41,139 - Well, well, look at you, back at it, huh? 166 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:43,577 God, no one can stack things in a pile 167 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,969 like my gal Amy. 168 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,971 - You know, I thought it was going to be 169 00:06:47,015 --> 00:06:49,757 nonstop people talking about the...incident. 170 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,020 But no one's even mentioning it. 171 00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,630 - Of course not. 172 00:06:53,674 --> 00:06:55,545 There's no need for people to bring up something 173 00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,504 that you're already embarrassed about. 174 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,896 - Yeah, but when we found out 175 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,550 Gene was having sex on his lunch break, 176 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,857 people called him Sex-Ma-Gene for a year. 177 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,728 I mean, it barely made sense, but it stuck. 178 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:06,904 - Yeah. I know, but come on, that's different, 179 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,907 Sex-Ma-Gene's a guy. It's less embarrassing for him. 180 00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:12,954 - Um...that's--that's sexist. 181 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:17,175 - No. No. No, no, no, I-I did not mean that 182 00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:18,612 in a sexist way. 183 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,440 - What you're saying is that 184 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:23,181 no one is talking to me about the whole sex thing 185 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,619 because they think, as a woman, 186 00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:28,099 I must be filled with shame about it. 187 00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,972 - Maybe... 188 00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,495 or maybe I'm wrong! 189 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,975 I don't know. I mean, things are changing. 190 00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:37,674 I haven't really caught up with this whole MeToo thing. 191 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:40,503 All I know is that one day Charlie Rose was there, 192 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:43,201 and the next day he wasn't. 193 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:46,727 . 194 00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,816 - Hey. - Hey. 195 00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,687 - Are people talking to you about the sex tape? 196 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:51,862 - Oh, my God, it's nonstop. 197 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,821 - No one has said anything to me. 198 00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,692 - Oh. That's cool. 199 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,302 - No. It sucks. 200 00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:59,043 - But I thought you don't want people to talk about it. 201 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,567 - I don't. 202 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,743 - And people aren't talking about it. 203 00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:03,744 - Right... 204 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,183 - No! It's messed up. 205 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,054 Why should I be ashamed of having sex with you? 206 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,708 - You shouldn't. - I know! 207 00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:13,841 - You should be proud! - Yes! 208 00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:16,104 No! No. Not because of this-- 209 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:18,062 because it's a double standard. 210 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:21,065 So, for men, sex is, like, an accomplishment. 211 00:08:21,109 --> 00:08:23,807 And for women, it's that I got taken advantage of? 212 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:26,244 - Trust me, you do not want to have the day that I'm having. 213 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:30,031 They--they keep, like, like, thrusting their pelvises 214 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,728 and calling me J-Bone. 215 00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:34,905 I didn't get a nickname. 216 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:37,081 - I feel like you're missing the point. 217 00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:41,912 - If you're J-Bone, then I want to be A...hole. 218 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,744 - Obviously not. 219 00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,354 See you around, A-hole. 220 00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,095 - Shut up! 221 00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:53,576 - I mean, it's like he's mad at me for no reason at all. 222 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,143 - He's not mad at you for no reason. 223 00:08:55,186 --> 00:08:57,101 He's mad at you because you sold out Myrtle 224 00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:58,276 for a corporate job. 225 00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,974 - But--Well-- 226 00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:01,236 You guys don't hate me. 227 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,804 - Oh, yeah, we do. We all hate you. 228 00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:05,153 - Okay, fine. 229 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,721 Um, what can I do to make it up to you guys? 230 00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:09,287 - Give Myrtle her job back. 231 00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:10,941 - I don't have the power to do that. 232 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:12,943 I'm not even allowed to spend more than $12 on lunch 233 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,423 without authorization. 234 00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,947 There's got to be something I can do 235 00:09:16,991 --> 00:09:19,167 to make you guys love me the way you used to. 236 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,299 - Um, we never loved you, so... 237 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:25,782 - Wait! Why--why wouldn't-- why not? 238 00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,871 - We don't know what you're talking about. 239 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,612 - Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. 240 00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,222 Okay, I can't get you Myrtle, 241 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,311 but I can get you something better. 242 00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,879 Just get ready, okay? 243 00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:40,797 For the surprise! 244 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,712 This afternoon! 245 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,979 - I saw some kids getting high on the markers. 246 00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,677 - Mm-hmm. 247 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,157 - Nope, just recap the markers when they're done. 248 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,072 - Hey guys! Excuse me. 249 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:57,640 Um, could we just gather around 250 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,163 for a quick sec? 251 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:02,863 Um...I know that everyone is walking 252 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,342 on eggshells around me. 253 00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,084 And I just want you to know, 254 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:11,132 that I am not embarrassed that I had sex. 255 00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:13,482 - Oh, Amy, sure you're not, sweetie. 256 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,963 - You don't have to say that. - No, I mean it! 257 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:18,922 Guess what, people-- I have sex. 258 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,142 And I like having sex. 259 00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:24,798 There's nothing wrong with someone liking and having sex. 260 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,756 - Yeah! Even a woman, believe it or not! 261 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,845 Take notes, young man, the future is female. 262 00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,412 And I get it! 263 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,022 - Okay! Well, that's it. 264 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,981 That's all I wanted to say, so... 265 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,852 I'm gonna go back to work now, 266 00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:39,769 and I will be thinking about sex, if I want to. 267 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:43,773 Got sex on my mind, and my mind on my sex! 268 00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:47,168 Aren't you a little child? 269 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:51,041 - ♪ And I don't want the world to see me ♪ 270 00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:54,349 ♪ 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand ♪ 271 00:10:54,392 --> 00:10:56,394 - It doesn't matter what the surprise is, okay? 272 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,745 I'm not getting back together with him. It's over. 273 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:00,398 - I bet Jeff's getting us a taco truck. 274 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:03,010 - Ooh, or maybe an ice cream truck. 275 00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,055 - Ooh, I hope it's a pizza truck. 276 00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:07,231 Sorry, guys, kind of a pizza freak. 277 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,017 - Everyone loves pizza, so it's not a personality trait. 278 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,541 - Here's a crazy idea-- what if it's not a food truck? 279 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,457 - Ooh, maybe he's gonna give us each, like, $50. 280 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,720 - Maybe he's planning on murdering Mateo. 281 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,157 Think about it, big surprise, 282 00:11:20,201 --> 00:11:21,942 nobody's gonna see it coming. 283 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:24,335 I mean, If anybody was gonna snap, it'd be that guy. 284 00:11:24,379 --> 00:11:26,424 - Okay, so it's either a snack, 285 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:29,079 an arbitrary amount of money, or Mateo dies. 286 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,168 I guess it's got to be one of those three things. 287 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,953 - Mm. - It's got to be. 288 00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,868 - Shredder! 289 00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,347 - All right, okay. 290 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,349 - Hey, man, this guy shreds ass! 291 00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,437 - Sorry, I-- 292 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,178 Guys, stop, all right? 293 00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:42,963 You know what? It's--it's demeaning. 294 00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:46,270 You guys are acting like sex was something I did to Amy. 295 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,576 You know, like I conquered her. 296 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,099 - Oh! - Yeah, you did! 297 00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,449 - All hail J-Bone, the conquerer! 298 00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,887 - I feel like you're grasping on to the wrong words here. 299 00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:56,759 Uh, Amy was an equal participant, okay? 300 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,456 So all also hail Amy, 301 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,808 the mutual intercourse partner! 302 00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:03,940 - Uh... - We'll handle the nicknames. 303 00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,768 You just keep shredding, shredder. 304 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,596 - Yeah. 305 00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:10,555 Hey, is your favorite movie "Waking Shred Devine"? 306 00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:14,603 - That's what she shred. 307 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,001 - I just wanted to say-- 308 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:22,480 I totally get what you were saying before 309 00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:24,134 about liking sex. 310 00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,136 I think that's really cool. 311 00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:30,227 - Okay. Thank you. 312 00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,794 - So... 313 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,144 do you want to, like, do it? 314 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,235 - I have a condom. 315 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,498 - Oh, my God! No! No! 316 00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:43,153 - But you said you like sex. 317 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,981 - Not with you. 318 00:12:46,461 --> 00:12:48,376 - No, no. No. Don't-- 319 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,509 - Um, Noam, don't cry. 320 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:53,033 I'm not crying. 321 00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:57,211 I don't even like you! 322 00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:00,344 . 323 00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,390 - Noam, it's okay, come out! 324 00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,479 - No. Can someone call my mom 325 00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:05,872 or my stepdad's work number? 326 00:13:05,915 --> 00:13:07,569 - Your mom's at the dentist, 327 00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,658 and your stepdad said that he doesn't care. 328 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:10,746 - Okay. 329 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,401 Noam 330 00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,795 You're gonna come out of that tent, okay, hon? 331 00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:19,407 Now, whether you're conscious or unconscious is up to you. 332 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,801 - Are you really gonna throw a bug bomb in there? 333 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,411 - No! 334 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:24,804 Yeah, I am. 335 00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,415 - Oh, Noam assaulted Amy, 336 00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,895 and now he won't come out of the tent. 337 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:29,896 - No... 338 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:31,332 it was not an assault, 339 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,508 it was a... misunderstanding. 340 00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:34,770 - Exactly! 341 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,772 And misunderstandings can't be assault. 342 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,643 - Well...they can. 343 00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:40,863 - Yes, they can, and they usually are. 344 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,865 - Attention, employees-- make your way to the break room 345 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,475 for a harassment meeting. 346 00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,260 Shoppers, go about your business. 347 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:47,870 This is a private matter 348 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,438 concerning our floor manager, Amy, and a 14-year-old boy. 349 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,744 - Dina, please, can we just not? 350 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,616 I-I was hoping to get through my first day 351 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,313 without a harassment meeting. 352 00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:57,924 - Oh, you should have started up last Friday. 353 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,404 We didn't need any harassment meetings last Friday. 354 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,928 - Perfect swish. 355 00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,800 - Hey, guys, he's not coming out. 356 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,934 - Well, then we can't do this meeting. Bummer. 357 00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:10,806 - I got this. Giuseppe! Alex! 358 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,374 Giuseppe W.! Everybody grab a corner. 359 00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,376 We're taking this bad boy to the break room. 360 00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:17,595 - Hey, uh, Glenn, should we all 361 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,467 really be leaving the floor during back to school? 362 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:20,947 I mean, come on, that's like-- 363 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,818 that's like playing the Super Bowl with only-- 364 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,559 uh, with fewer players 365 00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,561 than a football team would normally have. 366 00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:27,954 - Good point. 367 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,347 Okay, we'll leave a skeleton crew. 368 00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:32,959 Kelly! You're in charge. 369 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:38,486 - ♪ I'm only human 370 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:43,447 ♪ Of flesh and blood I'm made ♪ 371 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:44,448 - We'll make this quick. 372 00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:45,841 There was an incident 373 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,757 relating to a sexual proposition 374 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,368 between Amy and another employee. 375 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,848 No need to name names. 376 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,632 It was Noam. 377 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:55,982 - Noam. 378 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,680 - Oh. Hi, Noam. - Hi. 379 00:14:58,723 --> 00:15:00,682 - Do you want me to get the harassment video? 380 00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:02,684 - Oh, no, the old videos don't apply anymore. 381 00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:06,079 We are living in a brave, new, MeToo, Time's Up, 382 00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:08,124 "This Is Us" kind of world. 383 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,691 There are no rules anymore. 384 00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:12,041 But also, there's nothing but rules. 385 00:15:12,085 --> 00:15:14,435 - Wait. So Amy banged Noam, too? 386 00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:16,567 - No! God, no, nothing happened. 387 00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:19,135 - Good, 'cause he's a child. He can't consent. 388 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,529 - They say consent is irrelevant. 389 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,357 - I think you mean "intent is irrelevant." 390 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,925 Consent is pretty much the whole point. 391 00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:28,753 - Also, she's a supervisor, so double illegal. 392 00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,059 - So was it illegal 393 00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,756 when Amy forced Jonah to have sex with her? 394 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,150 - Nobody forced me to have sex with them. 395 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,370 - But you might have felt like you couldn't say no 396 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:37,980 because Amy was in the power position. 397 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,026 - Nuh-uh, Jonah was on top. 398 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,636 - Does it matter who's on top? 399 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,812 - It really doesn't. - It really does. 400 00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:47,598 - I like reverse cowgirl because there's no eye contact. 401 00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,037 - Cool info. 402 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,431 - Does anybody know what a "DCPI" is? 403 00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:58,914 Or "Quadrant 12"? Where is Quadrant 12? 404 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,916 Oh, Dan! 405 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,049 Dan, are you going to Quadrant 12? 406 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,659 Dan! 407 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,011 Because who MeToo'd who? 408 00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,796 I mean, Jonah's the man, but Amy's the one in charge. 409 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,625 - A woman can't take advantage of a man. 410 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:17,019 - Hey! Amy can force an underling to have sex 411 00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:18,586 just as easily as a man! 412 00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,022 - Right! 413 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,894 - I mean, I didn't, and I wouldn't, but I could. 414 00:16:22,938 --> 00:16:25,549 - And she will. - Yeah, that was not my point. 415 00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:26,942 - Hey, I'm trying really hard to defend you, 416 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,161 but you're making it pretty tough. 417 00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,684 - This isn't harassment. 418 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,860 Jonah and Amy are meant for each other. 419 00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:32,948 - Then why aren't they together? 420 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,212 - Maybe the sex was bad. It looked bad. 421 00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:37,692 - Guys, we shouldn't be talking 422 00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:38,780 about this in front of Amy. 423 00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:40,521 - No! That is-- 424 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:42,653 Okay, you guys want to talk about what happened? 425 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:43,785 Let's talk about it. 426 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:45,091 What do you want to know? 427 00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:46,614 - Don't fall for it. It's a trick. 428 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,181 - No, no, no. I'm serious! 429 00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,097 Let's just get it all out there once and for all, 430 00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:54,970 and then we never have to talk about it ever again. 431 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,711 Bring it on! 432 00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:59,714 - Are you still in love with each other? 433 00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,672 - What a stupid waste of a first question. 434 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,935 Who cares? Did you have an orgasm? 435 00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:06,503 - Yeah, boy! - Guys, come on! 436 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:07,983 - No, it's fine, I don't want there 437 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,811 to be any unanswered questions. 438 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:11,943 Technically, I did not have an orgasm. 439 00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,945 But it still felt good. Next question. 440 00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:16,513 - Did Jonah have an orgasm? 441 00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:22,954 - Yes, yes, I did. 442 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:25,087 - "Noice"! Yeah! 443 00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,698 - No! I am not high-fiving one man 444 00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,483 over another man's orgasm. 445 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,659 - Stop using me as a human shield! 446 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,835 Cease fire! Cease fire! 447 00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,619 - Around the 14-minute mark in the video, 448 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,491 Jonah appeared to whisper something to you. 449 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:38,796 What did he say? 450 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,494 - Oh, I think it was something about 451 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,235 the cord from the scanner was chafing his thigh. 452 00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,714 - I knew it. 453 00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:44,802 - Wow. 454 00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:46,630 - Now, as a pregnant woman, 455 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,850 was it weird having two people inside of you at once? 456 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:50,112 - No, not really. 457 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:52,027 - Follow up on Mateo's question-- 458 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,770 Jonah, was it weird being one of two people inside Amy? 459 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:56,945 - I didn't think about it. 460 00:17:56,988 --> 00:17:58,207 - Following up on Cheyenne, 461 00:17:58,251 --> 00:18:00,122 is it weird thinking about it now? 462 00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,297 - It's getting a little weird, yeah. 463 00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:02,907 - Okay, keep 'em coming, people! 464 00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:04,779 We'll be here as long as it takes. 465 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,172 - For my next question, 466 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:08,696 I'm gonna need a church candle and a bagel. 467 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:11,090 . 468 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,136 - For the first part, I would say I don't really believe 469 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,616 in soul mates, more like different people 470 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:18,227 for different phases of your life type of thing. 471 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:21,012 And for the second part, circumcised. 472 00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,145 Yeah? Yeah. 473 00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:25,234 All right, who's next? 474 00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:27,062 Anybody? 475 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,498 Come on, guys, don't be shy. 476 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:31,675 Justine 477 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:33,242 No? Okay. 478 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:36,332 Noam, anything you want to say in there? 479 00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:40,336 - I think he's asleep. - Yeah, he had a big day. 480 00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,686 - All right, guys, well, this is your last chance, 481 00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,385 'cause after today, we are never talking about this again. 482 00:18:45,428 --> 00:18:47,648 Anyone? 483 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,693 - Okay! 484 00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,653 Well, then we are done-zo. 485 00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:58,093 Okay. Let's get back to work. 486 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,183 - Actually, the store closed, like, 15 minutes ago. 487 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:02,532 - Oh. - Come on. 488 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:03,751 - Good day, everyone. 489 00:19:05,622 --> 00:19:07,233 - Boom. 490 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,104 - Good stuff out there, Miss Sue. 491 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,541 Hey, nice hustle, Dan! 492 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:14,762 So proud of us! Love you guys! 493 00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:17,547 Dina! It went great! 494 00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:18,809 Well, not at first. 495 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,376 At first, I got very overwhelmed, 496 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,465 and I started to get this rash on my chest, 497 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:24,163 but then I thought to myself, 498 00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,382 "Kelly, girl, you have been through 499 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:28,732 Miss St. Louis, you can handle this." 500 00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:31,257 And so I delegated, and I problem-solved, 501 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:34,216 and I rallied the troops, and... 502 00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,304 I did it. 503 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,264 - Okay. 504 00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,400 - I am Myrtle, 505 00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:46,620 your Cloud 9 virtual greeter. 506 00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:51,277 You said you wanted Myrtle, so I got you Myrtle. 507 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,235 Meet our new automated greeter. 508 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,497 Hello, Myrtle. 509 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,196 - Welcome to Cloud 9. 510 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:58,893 - This is the big surprise? 511 00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,244 I mean, it's got over 50 programmable greetings, 512 00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:03,767 plus you can change the background. 513 00:20:03,811 --> 00:20:04,899 She's flying. 514 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,686 - Um, you were mad at me about Myrtle, 515 00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:12,689 so this is, like, the next best thing 516 00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,735 to having her back. 517 00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:18,478 I did this for you. 518 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:21,611 - It's not Myrtle. - Bye-bye now. 519 00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:24,701 - Wait, don't go! Look! She's at the beach, guys! 520 00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:26,268 And now a snowstorm! 521 00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,530 And hang on, hang on, hang on, 522 00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:29,358 I can fix this, right, real quick. 523 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,708 Menu, function-- Guys! I can fix this! 524 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,406 I did a good thing! 525 00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:36,626 - ♪ Do you really want to hurt me? 526 00:20:36,670 --> 00:20:38,715 ♪ 527 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,761 - Hey. 528 00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:42,284 - Hey. 529 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:45,722 - So you made it through your first day back. 530 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:49,291 And you only sexually harassed one teen. 531 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,467 - Yep, took a lot of self-control. 532 00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:53,774 - Uh, quick question-- 533 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:55,819 So many questions... 534 00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,433 - We had Italian last night. 535 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:01,434 Mexican. 536 00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:02,522 - Okay, I'll pick it up. 537 00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:03,914 - I'll get the wine. Hey! 538 00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,568 - People are gonna see us. 539 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,309 - Nobody's around! 540 00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:17,493 - All right. See you soon, J-Bone. 541 00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:19,495 - Looking forward to it, A-hole.