1 00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,047 . 2 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:06,136 - I'm sorry, the company doesn't consider 3 00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,268 pregnancy a disability. 4 00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,009 - No, I'm not asking for disability. 5 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,315 I just need to reduce my hours 6 00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:13,361 because my doctor says I have to stay off my feet. 7 00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,711 - Yeah, her feet are really swollen. 8 00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:18,540 You know when you open a can of Pillsbury crescent rolls 9 00:00:18,583 --> 00:00:21,325 and the dough just kind of bursts through? 10 00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:24,111 Well, it's like that only with feet and toes. 11 00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:25,416 - I can try getting you in 12 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,070 with a company-approved doctor. 13 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,203 Have you been experiencing any bleeding, spotting, 14 00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,161 or vaginal discharge? 15 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:33,598 - Okay, I am just gonna do some paperwork. 16 00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:36,601 - Um, yes, there has been some discharge-- 17 00:00:36,645 --> 00:00:39,169 - ♪ Oh, this is the way we stape the pape ♪ 18 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:41,084 ♪ Stape the pape, stape the pape ♪ 19 00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,390 - But nothing to write home about. 20 00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:43,826 - Alright, I can get you in 21 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:46,350 for an appointment as soon as... 22 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:48,048 December 15th. 23 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,876 That's like six weeks away. 24 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,704 I will already have my baby by then. 25 00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:55,707 - Oh, next time call us farther in advance. 26 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:58,493 Is there anything else I can help you with today? 27 00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,451 - Well, actually, while we have you on the line-- 28 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:04,412 Ah, here, do some paperwork. 29 00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:09,721 I accidentally swallowed a watermelon seed the other day. 30 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:14,596 ♪ 31 00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:17,077 And corporate sent us 32 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,341 some sort of newfangled automatic cart collector. 33 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,690 They say it's part of a... 34 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,867 pilot program. 35 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:27,913 - I'm sorry, what are you supposed to be? 36 00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:29,176 - The back of a horse. 37 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,742 Jerry was supposed to be the front, 38 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,918 but he's in Fort Lauderdale with Carol. 39 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,442 - Oh. 40 00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:36,574 - Hey, you two, you can flirt on your own time. 41 00:01:36,618 --> 00:01:39,708 Next order of business, we're going to be holding 42 00:01:39,751 --> 00:01:42,580 an employee costume competition today. 43 00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,282 - Yep, yep. Because of Halloween. 44 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:51,850 Um, so at the end of the day we'll all vote 45 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,723 who wore it best, and the winner gets... 46 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:02,774 A fully paid vacation day. 47 00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,950 - Ohh. 48 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:06,300 - I want that. - Yeah. 49 00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:09,955 Wait, why didn't you tell us there was a day off? 50 00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,174 I would have dressed up. 51 00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,308 I thought you were a dirty pile of laundry. 52 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,875 - I'm sorry I was too exhausted to get dressed. 53 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,964 My feet are so swollen I can barely stand. 54 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,749 - I'm more pregnant than you and I'm doing great. 55 00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:23,404 Yeah, my hair is silkier, my skin's glowing, 56 00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:25,275 I just grew a new tooth. 57 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:27,451 I'm doing very well. 58 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,627 - ♪ I always feel like 59 00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:32,630 ♪ Somebody's watching me 60 00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:34,676 ♪ And I have no privacy 61 00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,417 - I really wanna win this contest. 62 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,158 People are gonna know I'm Super Mario, right? 63 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,247 Not just some fat plumber. - I think people will get it. 64 00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:41,987 And you should keep that mustache. 65 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,424 It really works for you. 66 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:44,860 - Oh, yeah, I was thinking of growing one. 67 00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,296 - You should, you should. It brings out your eyes. 68 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:47,645 - Yeah, thank you. 69 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,213 - Do you think they're gonna know what I am? 70 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,607 - Oh yeah. So great, so smart. 71 00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,785 - Yeah, totally. 72 00:02:56,828 --> 00:02:58,134 I'm "Gerry Mander." 73 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,484 These are all gerrymander districts. 74 00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,878 - Yeah, no. I know that. Totally. 75 00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,662 It's very intelligent. 76 00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:05,794 - Yeah, thanks. 77 00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,190 - Woo! This follows you anywhere? 78 00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:11,495 - As long as you're holding the fob. 79 00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:13,018 - Okay, this is crazy. 80 00:03:13,062 --> 00:03:14,194 How do we have this but, like, 81 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,760 have still never been to the sun. 82 00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:17,762 - Hey, if you swallow the fob, will the collector 83 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,721 just follow you until you poop it out? 84 00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,679 - That is such a good question. 85 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,028 I'll reach out to the manufacturer. 86 00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,421 - Yeah. - Dina! 87 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,380 What do I do? Should I jump the railing? 88 00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:27,598 - No, no, stay there. 89 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:28,643 This will be a teachable moment. 90 00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,166 No! 91 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,907 - Happy Halloween. 92 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:37,347 Check out our great deals on batteries if you dare. 93 00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:41,351 - I'll give you a hint, it's slightly political. 94 00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:43,048 - Gay Spiderman. 95 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:46,008 - Wait. - ♪ Halloween surfboard 96 00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:49,359 - This is like the fifth time they've played this song today. 97 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,231 I hate how they just keep looping 98 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:54,103 the same Halloween music over and over again. 99 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,192 - At this point I've learned how to just block out 100 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,541 the most annoying stuff around here. 101 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,804 - You're like one of those monks in Tibet. 102 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:02,720 You know, they practice this meditation technique 103 00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:03,895 called Tummo. 104 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,723 Garret, are you-- 105 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:09,161 Oh I get it. 'Cause I'm annoying. 106 00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:11,163 Yeah, all right. 107 00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:13,296 You made your point. 108 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:16,212 Yeah, well, you know what? You're annoying, so... 109 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,432 I'm gonna ignore you. 110 00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:23,132 Doesn't feel so good, does it? 111 00:04:23,175 --> 00:04:25,003 - Toro, toro. 112 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:28,485 - Yeah! 113 00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:31,532 - Playing matador. 114 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,360 - This thing is so cool. You wanna see how it works? 115 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:36,406 - No, I don't want to see how it works. 116 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:37,886 While you guys have been out here playing 117 00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,105 with this fart collector, you know, 118 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,021 the costume aisle has turned into a war zone. 119 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,545 Can you please go back inside? 120 00:04:44,588 --> 00:04:47,678 - But I haven't had a turn yet at the... 121 00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:50,333 It's okay. I'll just come early tomorrow. 122 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:51,900 - Please skedaddle. 123 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:08,133 - Oh, you changed costumes. 124 00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,135 - So did you. 125 00:05:10,179 --> 00:05:12,442 Well, I guess we both need that vacation day, huh? 126 00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:15,576 - Yeah, well, my feet are giant balloons full of blood 127 00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:17,795 and I have a little monster inside of me. 128 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:19,710 - I wanna see that new Johnny English movie. 129 00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:22,670 - Man, Cheyenne really stepped it up. 130 00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,454 - Oh, mahalo. 131 00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,630 - It's so sad. 132 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,458 She probably thinks that looking sexy 133 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:30,373 is going to help her win the contest or something. 134 00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:33,333 - Well that's not gonna work, right? 135 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:37,989 I think everybody else can kiss that day off "aloha." 136 00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,469 The goodbye meaning. 137 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,341 Cheyenne can kiss it "aloha," hello meaning. 138 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:45,606 What a kooky language. 139 00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:47,738 . 140 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:52,003 - Aloha, girl. That costume is amazing. 141 00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:53,527 - Awh, thanks. 142 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:57,357 - The coconuts and the grass 143 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,403 and the belly button that I can see. 144 00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,318 - I'm literally obsessed with you. 145 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,841 You're literally in danger. 146 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:06,583 - I was wondering though, do you think that maybe 147 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:10,413 this costume might be objectifying women? 148 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,502 - Huh. You know, I can see that. 149 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,678 Like, do you really want men gawking at you 150 00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:16,463 like you're some piece of meat? 151 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,378 - Yeah. - Kinda. 152 00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:21,424 - Okay. 153 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,295 - And I was also thinking 154 00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:27,299 that maybe this costume is offensive 155 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:29,867 to, um, Hawaiian people. 156 00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,347 Like Sandra. She's Hawaiian. 157 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,870 - Oh, good call. 158 00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,699 - Don't worry, Sandra saw it and she didn't say anything. 159 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:36,961 - It's also just wasteful 160 00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:39,137 'cause that's not what coconuts... 161 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:40,617 - Yeah. 162 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,445 - People are starving around the world and... 163 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,360 - Well, someone ate the coconut. 164 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,188 I just put it on my boob. 165 00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:51,759 - I don't know, someone at a Thai restaurant or something. 166 00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:55,023 - ♪ Halloween surfboard 167 00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:56,328 - Hey man, why did you have to point out 168 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,852 this stupid Halloween song? 169 00:06:57,895 --> 00:07:00,550 Now I can't tune it out. It doesn't even make sense. 170 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,205 "Dracula was putting on moon tan lotion." 171 00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:04,554 Why is a Dracula at the beach? 172 00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,164 - Yeah, it's not a good song. 173 00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,036 I'm just glad I'm not the only one noticing it anymore. 174 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,907 - Okay, well next time, keep it to yourself. 175 00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,866 Not everybody needs to notice the same stuff. 176 00:07:11,909 --> 00:07:14,564 - Why don't you just try thinking of a different song? 177 00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,392 You know, like, um, 178 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,567 you know... 179 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,572 God, what are some songs? 180 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,053 - There she is. 181 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:27,795 I thought someone might have turned you into glue by now. 182 00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:30,145 - 'Cause you're a horse. 183 00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,842 You know how they kill horses 184 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:34,018 and turn their bones and hooves into glue? 185 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,499 - Nope, just being a goof. 186 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,327 Hey, did you see Cheyenne's hula costume? 187 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,894 - Yeah. 188 00:07:39,937 --> 00:07:42,244 - That's not offensive to you or anything, is it? 189 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:47,684 - Oh, no, just that, you know, some people might call it 190 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,730 cultural appropriation. 191 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,732 Just because reducing your entire heritage 192 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,908 to some cartoony stereotype 193 00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:56,214 might be disrespectful or something. 194 00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,912 - She's just having fun. 195 00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:01,872 - OMG. How cute is Cheyenne's hula outfit? 196 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:05,789 Hawaiians are like "Laki-maki laki-maki laki-maki." 197 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,444 - Actually, hula is a sacred-- 198 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,446 - It's adorable. 199 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,623 Oh, you guys, you're just such a cute, 200 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:16,147 funny little people. 201 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,498 - Thanks. 202 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:21,892 - Oh. Oh, yeah. 203 00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:24,460 Oh! Ohh. 204 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,202 Jonah! Jonah. Come here. Come here. 205 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,725 Look. Okay, look. 206 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:31,902 You're not going to believe this but just watch. 207 00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:43,653 - So fast. Good job, buddy. 208 00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:45,612 - No, no, before... 209 00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:48,179 - Now, I want it to be spicy but not too spicy, 210 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:51,618 like a step past ketchup but not quite to mustard. 211 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:52,662 - ♪ Halloween surfboard 212 00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:54,098 - Now I've had a "quesadillo" 213 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,536 and I've had a "chimi-chang-a," and I like them, 214 00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:59,147 but Gary, now, he likes a cream tuna on noodles. 215 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,584 I always say to him, "live a little, Gary." 216 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:03,325 - God, I can't take it! 217 00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:05,545 - Oh, sorry. 218 00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,677 Excuse me, I'm looking for a "salza." 219 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,986 - This same song keeps playing over and over again, 220 00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:14,597 and it's starting to drive me crazy. 221 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,164 - Oh, I like hearing the same song. 222 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,166 You always know what you're getting, no surprises. 223 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,863 My workout mix is just 12 tracks of Billy Joel's 224 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,256 "For the Longest Time." 225 00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:22,692 Well, that's on leg days. 226 00:09:22,736 --> 00:09:26,000 On arm days it's "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant." 227 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,524 - She can't even be in the contest now. 228 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,917 I feel bad. 229 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,614 - Well, you had to say something. 230 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,485 It was obviously bothering you. 231 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:37,359 - Yeah, I love Cheyenne but she needed to be called out. 232 00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,448 - Maybe I'm being too sensitive. 233 00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:40,797 I mean, Janet's half-Jamaican, 234 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,583 and she's okay with Marcus' Rasta cap. 235 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,587 - Yeah, I don't love it, but I figured it's just a costume. 236 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,635 - Your culture is not some costume 237 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,985 that Marcus can wear for laughs. 238 00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,204 - Janet. 239 00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:58,293 It doesn't end until we make it end. 240 00:09:58,336 --> 00:09:59,773 - Yeah. 241 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,384 - We are the ones that we've been waiting for. 242 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,864 You're right. 243 00:10:03,907 --> 00:10:06,997 that guy. Hey, Marcus! 244 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:10,914 - You'll find the sexy nurse costumes in aisle nine 245 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,874 between the sexy Minions and the sexy sandwiches. 246 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:17,355 - Hey, Glenn, I think you left that in the parking lot. 247 00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,141 - Thank you. 248 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:22,056 Good thing I'm not a real mailman. 249 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,884 Leaving the mail in the parking lot? 250 00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:26,103 I would have been fired for sure. 251 00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:27,801 - Ah, I think they would have let it slide 252 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,367 since it's your first day. 253 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,978 - Jonah, no offense, but you know 254 00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:34,677 absolutely nothing about the U.S. Postal Service. 255 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:42,250 ♪ 256 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:44,948 . 257 00:10:44,992 --> 00:10:47,603 - Hey, Sayid, I just wanted to check in and see 258 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,518 how you're feeling about Chris' Aladdin costume. 259 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:51,476 How ya holding up with the racism? 260 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,305 - I mean, it just seems to me like her costume 261 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:57,308 is a slap in the face to your Latino culture. 262 00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:59,571 - Sayid should know better. 263 00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,878 I'm sure as a person of German heritage 264 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:03,358 this is very offensive. 265 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,534 - Well, I'm not German. I'm French-Canadian. 266 00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:08,450 - Well, did you see Teddy is dressed as a hockey player? 267 00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:10,191 - Can you believe that banjo he's carrying? 268 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:13,760 As if all southerners are just toothless backwater rednecks. 269 00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:16,632 - I think he's supposed to be Steve Martin. 270 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,068 "I think he's supposed 271 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,070 to be Steve Martin." 272 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,029 That's what you sound like. 273 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:23,683 - Okay, the problem is the same song 274 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:25,249 keeps playing every ten minutes. 275 00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:27,077 Same song, all day long. 276 00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:29,384 - Well, I doubt any customers are sticking around all day. 277 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,778 - Yeah, but I am. I'm here all day long. 278 00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,170 All day long, same song. 279 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:34,781 It's starting to become a little much. 280 00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,957 - Oh, if this is about employee satisfaction, 281 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,132 I can transfer you over to-- 282 00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:40,700 - No, do not transfer me. 283 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,614 I have been transferred to six different departments 284 00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,486 in four different countries. 285 00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,793 I don't understand why it takes an international coalition 286 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,229 to control a playlist. 287 00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,491 Which is something that I have been doing 288 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,493 for ten years with no problems. 289 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:54,104 Nobody got hurt, then all of a sudden you guys takeover 290 00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:56,193 and it's "Halloween Surfboard." 291 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:59,719 "Halloween Surfboard." It's just stupid! 292 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,070 - Please hold. 293 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:06,769 - ♪ You want the Halloween surfboard ♪ 294 00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:09,990 - The expiration date said July 2023, 295 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:13,167 and I was like, "I might expire by then." 296 00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:17,475 That's what's so great about, you know, canned goods, 297 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,695 'cause, you know, they're in cans. 298 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,002 Stop. 299 00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,351 Okay, keep--keep walking. 300 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,527 - Again, I'm just looking for water chestnuts. 301 00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,703 You can just tell me what aisle they're in. 302 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,009 - Not right now! 303 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:34,492 ♪ 304 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,583 - Now, do we think that Freddy is just a pirate 305 00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,324 or is he a Somali pirate? 306 00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:41,848 Because that would be messed up. 307 00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:43,719 - You are a real hero, you know that? 308 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,503 You're like a voice for the voiceless. 309 00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:46,809 - Hey, we have a problem. 310 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,158 You need to take that costume off. 311 00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:49,507 Why? 312 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:50,857 - We've had a complaint about this whole 313 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:53,033 Italian minstrel show you've got going on. 314 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:56,210 - No, I'm no--I'm Mario. 315 00:12:56,253 --> 00:13:00,040 You know. It's a me, Mario! 316 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,693 My brother is a' Luigi! 317 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:04,000 - Hey, you need to stop right now. 318 00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:07,351 I mean, who would even-- 319 00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,223 I can't believe you complained about my costume 320 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,702 just to win the contest. 321 00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:12,269 - It had nothing to do with the contest. 322 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,228 I was legitimately offended. 323 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,230 - Oh, please. Marcus, you're Italian. 324 00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:17,753 Mario's okay, right? 325 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,711 - I've actually thought a lot about this. 326 00:13:19,755 --> 00:13:21,844 I mean, for me personally, "Super Mario Brothers" 327 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:24,542 is a classic. "Mario Kart," also solid. 328 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:27,850 But "Mario Party?" It's like, what happened? 329 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,591 Marcus is fine with it. 330 00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:31,158 - Oh, that makes sense. 331 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,551 Yeah, I guess we can all start telling racist jokes 332 00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:35,771 as long as one person from that race signs off. 333 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,382 My Jewish bird joke is so good, 334 00:13:38,426 --> 00:13:40,428 and I think you'll feel like we're laughing with you. 335 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:41,777 - Still no. 336 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:42,996 - Ugh, it's so good. 337 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,172 - All Amy is saying is people need to stop 338 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,303 looking for a reason to be offended. 339 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,783 - Exactly. 340 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,741 - I mean, you can't even sing NWA anymore 341 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:52,353 without being asked to leave a cookout. 342 00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:53,920 - That is... 343 00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:56,705 not what I was saying. 344 00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:06,758 ♪ 345 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,805 - I don't understand why Amy's allowed to wear a mustache 346 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,502 but I can't wear my dreadlocks. 347 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:14,157 - And I can't wear a grass skirt and coconut boobs. 348 00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:17,073 - Let her wear the coconut boobs, you monsters. 349 00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:20,642 - It's because those costumes objectify a whole culture. 350 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,123 I am not dressed as an Italian. 351 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:26,953 I am dressed as a character who happens to be Italian. 352 00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:30,739 - So I'm not allowed to dress up as a Jamaican, 353 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:33,133 but if I'm dressing up as Bob Marley, 354 00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,352 who happens to be Jamaican, 355 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,528 Then everything be irie, mon. 356 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,182 - No. 357 00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:40,749 - It's just--it's different. 358 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,142 - Jonah, I feel like you can explain this better. 359 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,839 - Well, I know it's different, 360 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,929 I'm just having trouble putting into words why, uh... 361 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,062 Janet, could you explain it to them? 362 00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:52,935 - No reason, just, you know stuff. 363 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,328 - It's no different. 364 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,851 If we let Amy wear that costume, 365 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,419 then we might as well let Marcus wear blackface. 366 00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:00,508 - That's offense. - That would be awesome. 367 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,683 - No, it is not the same thing. 368 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,206 - Wait, hold on, wait. 369 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,034 Why can't I paint my face to look like Bob Marley 370 00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,907 but Elias can paint his to look like a Smurf. 371 00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:12,520 - You can't just--there's a whole history-- 372 00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,348 Janet? 373 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,697 - Nothing, I'm just checking in. 374 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,003 How you doing? Are you good? 375 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,876 This is getting too complicated. 376 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,530 Let's just cancel the contest. 377 00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:23,792 - No! 378 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,011 - It's not worth upsetting everybody 379 00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:28,710 over one day off work. 380 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:33,454 - We can't just live our lives afraid to offend someone. 381 00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:36,109 I think that we, you know, as a society, 382 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,154 we need to just lighten up a little bit. 383 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:40,896 - Yeah, I mean really, if I think about it 384 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:45,379 Mario is a hardworking plumber that rescues princesses. 385 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:47,729 If anything, that costume honors Italians. 386 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:50,645 - Yes. - So I can wear 387 00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:54,997 my hula outfit if I'm honoring Hawaiians. 388 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,391 - Yea--I mean I guess if you feel like 389 00:15:57,434 --> 00:16:01,308 it's about honoring the culture and not just to look sexy. 390 00:16:01,351 --> 00:16:02,439 - Yup, I'm honoring the culture. 391 00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,006 - And I can wear my Rasta hat 392 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,008 if it's about honoring Jamaicans. 393 00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:09,272 - Well, I mean, I guess if we're saying 394 00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,535 that it's all or nothing, 395 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,581 then I can't really think of a reason to say no. 396 00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:15,409 Bumbaclot! 397 00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:18,107 - Okay then, contest back on. 398 00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,717 - Yes. - Great. 399 00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,590 - Have you been wearing that under your shirt all day? 400 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:25,636 - Yeah, I don't know how you do it. 401 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:29,466 . 402 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,381 - Hello, St. Louis! 403 00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:34,471 Welcome to Cloud 9 store 1217's 2018 Halloween 404 00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:38,171 official employee costume competition royale. 405 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:39,781 - Yeah! 406 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,174 - All right. 407 00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:45,874 Let's meet our first contestant, Marcus White! 408 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,484 - ♪ He did the Mash 409 00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,095 ♪ He did the Monster Mash 410 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:53,316 One love! Everything irie. 411 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,623 But I'll tell you what isn't Irie. 412 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:59,366 Nearly 700,000 Africans brought to Jamaica as slaves. 413 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:04,023 The Rastafari movement isn't about ganja and bobsleds. 414 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:07,069 It's about resisting the tyranny of white oppressors. 415 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,811 Perhaps just like you. 416 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:12,770 Thanks, and happy Halloween. 417 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:15,208 - ♪ He did the Mash 418 00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:16,992 ♪ He did the Monster Mash 419 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,125 ♪ The Monster Mash 420 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:22,302 - Oh, good. I thought you were-- 421 00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,043 What's this? 422 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:26,045 - I gotta cover up the ceiling speakers. 423 00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:27,611 The key is to get sweaters thick enough 424 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,309 to block out the sound. The tighter the knit, 425 00:17:29,352 --> 00:17:31,137 the less "Halloween Surfboard" gets through. 426 00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,095 - Yeah, okay, good. Hey, listen. 427 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,792 You know technology, right? 428 00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,316 Like you're plugged in, so, um, 429 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,145 where are we on the timeline of robots having feelings, 430 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:41,799 like, you know, anger or vengeance? 431 00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,627 I mean, is that happening yet? 432 00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:45,890 - Yeah, I don't know, maybe. You know, could be. 433 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:49,677 - Oh. Good. Good to know. 434 00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,549 One up! 435 00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:54,899 It's a me, a Mario! 436 00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:57,119 I eatsa the pasta. 437 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,165 But Italians are so much more 438 00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,341 than just spaghetti and meatballs. 439 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:04,039 - From the beginning of time, white women have honored us 440 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,607 with their contributions to science and the arts. 441 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:09,566 - A bell rang out through the city of Dolores. 442 00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:12,395 Gong! Gong! 443 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,702 - Known as the land beyond the forest, 444 00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:18,271 Transylvania is rich in natural splendor 445 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,403 and mineral resources. 446 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:23,189 - Eleanor Roosevelt. Joy Behar. 447 00:18:23,232 --> 00:18:24,755 Marie Curie. Madonna. 448 00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:28,150 - Brainy Smurf's special talent is his brain. 449 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:32,154 - There is the Sistine Chapel, penne arrabbiata. 450 00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,331 - You pour the vinegar in... 451 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,377 And the lava comes out. 452 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:40,119 [traditional Middle Eastern music] 453 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:43,165 Viva Morelos! Viva Allende! 454 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,341 Viva Josefa Ortiz de Dominguez! 455 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,127 - Jokey Smurf, he tells jokes. 456 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,259 He's funny. He's the funny one. 457 00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,131 - Gerrymandering may present 458 00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,959 the most grave threat to our democracy. 459 00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,397 [traditional Middle Eastern music] 460 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:01,183 - The Venice canals and, uh, mozzarella sticks. 461 00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:02,576 - If you look back 462 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:05,492 to the midterm election results of 2006-- 463 00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:06,406 - Shoot your web. 464 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:09,800 - Oh, no, I'm not Spider-Man. 465 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:13,369 - Shoot it anyway. 466 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:14,196 Thwip. 467 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,590 - Nice. 468 00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:18,983 - ♪ Halloween surfboard 469 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:22,204 - Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, I do not have an announcement, 470 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:24,728 but as long as I am talking I am not listening, 471 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,730 so just gotta keep talking. 472 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,429 Uh, save 30% off roach gel. 473 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,300 Stop roaches in their tracks. 474 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,389 Except you can never really stop them, can you? 475 00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:35,261 They'll just keep coming and coming, 476 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,263 invading your mind in an endless loop. 477 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,916 Are we there yet, Daddy? 478 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,529 Sorry, son, the hell ride, it lasts forever. 479 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,837 It's buy one, get one free on peas. 480 00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,578 - ♪ Love is kinda crazy 481 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:52,321 ♪ With a spooky little girl like you ♪ 482 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,237 - I just want you to know that I actually 483 00:19:55,281 --> 00:19:56,891 really do like your costume. 484 00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,545 - Thanks. I like yours, too. 485 00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:00,851 Do you wanna hold hands like in Miss America? 486 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,027 - Not really. 487 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,465 - I actually don't like your costume. 488 00:20:05,508 --> 00:20:08,468 - And the winner of one day off work with pay 489 00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:13,037 and this small bowling trophy because it's all we had... 490 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,778 Amy Sosa! 491 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,867 - Yes! 492 00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:18,913 Yes! 493 00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:22,046 In! Yo! Face! In yo face! 494 00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:24,005 Yes, 495 00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,963 I would like to accept this award 496 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,749 on behalf of the Italian people. 497 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:30,359 - ♪ Ah-ooooh 498 00:20:30,403 --> 00:20:32,796 ♪ Werewolves of London 499 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,363 ♪ Ah-ooooh 500 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,236 - Jerusha, I want you to go pack a go-bag, 501 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,803 and go outside, wait by the mailbox, 502 00:20:39,847 --> 00:20:41,936 and when you see my car, get a running start 503 00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:43,677 and then jump through the window, okay? 504 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,548 Because I am not going to be able to stop. 505 00:20:45,592 --> 00:20:47,246 Oh, and see if any of our neighbors 506 00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:48,856 have a shotgun you can borrow. 507 00:20:48,899 --> 00:20:50,858 I'll see you soon. 508 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,558 Was it, like, a landslide? You can tell me. 509 00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:58,561 - Oh, it was a total landslide, for Cheyenne. 510 00:20:59,780 --> 00:21:01,738 - I mean, her boob accidentally popped out. 511 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:02,913 You can't compete with that. 512 00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:08,876 - Mm-hmm. 513 00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:10,704 - Nice. 514 00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,358 - It's kinda fitting, don't you think, 515 00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:16,579 that I actually ended up suppressing votes? 516 00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,539 'Cause it, uh, 'cause I'm Gerry Mander. 517 00:21:19,582 --> 00:21:21,802 - Mm-hmm. - You get it.